5 Things Parents Do That Make Your Depression Worse
Depression is exhausting, what you need is support- but instead it feels like when it comes to your parents, everything they do makes things feel even worse.
Many teens have been isolated in their homes with their parents due to the nature of the past two years, and for many, it has only worked to fuel their depression and make them more susceptible to it. Many parents have trouble understanding the overall concept of depression, so when they are directly confronted with it, they might only make it worse.
So, that being said, here are some things that parents do that fuel teenage depression.
Let's stop the stigma now. Watch our video on the signs you're depressed, not lazy: • 6 Signs You're Depress...
Researcher & Writer: Anjani Tennakoon
Voice Over: Amanda Silvera ( / amandasilvera )
Animator: Lesly Drue
KZhead Manager: Cindy Cheong
How was your experience like when you told your parents about having depression?
First! And also I don’t have depression however any time my parents see me sad they always do there best to comfort me. There the best, and I wish everyone had parents like them, especially after watching this video ❤
Hello Psych2go! To talk about my experience (I'm currently 14 and I told them right away when I felt signs of it at the age of 12 due to being forced to work which separated me from my social life), my parents didn't take me seriously and once they did listen they just yelled at me saying that I'm just a kid who should be focusing only on studying and education and that I should be thankful for being under a roof, having food to eat and a bed to sleep in. My reply to this was I am thankful for everything but requested that they just go a bit easier on me which is the least they could do and let me have a work-life balance. Their response was 6 months of grounding and even more work which was especially hard to deal with during school which already gives me plenty of work and the worst part is my future goals aren't aligned with any of it. I'm unsure if you'll reply to this but could you perhaps create a video with methods on coping with depression during childhood for people like me whose parents have a fixed perspective when it comes to things like this, that would be a great help!
Definitely wasn't the best, but I managed~ 😅 Since I already left a comment describing my experience, I won't delve too deep. But I'm trying my best to forgive my parent because she was going through things too. She did and said a lot of things back then, and ignored me a large portion of the time (I could be trying to talk to her and while I was mid-sentence, she would just leave the room), but she's treating me much better than before. At this point, I'm more upset with myself in a way, because I *want* to forgive her, but every time I think about it, it just rekindles the resentment I felt back then. I wish I could describe it better, but I can't quite put the feelings into words. It's a process, but I don't want to be angry forever. Hopefully, I can move forward soon 💜
they told me to stop lying to myself.
Mom started crying worrying that it's their fault. Which switched me from "I need help"to "it's ok, mom". Years and years later I'm still struggling
this explains everything....more parents should have a look at videos like these
Thank you for your comment. I think videos like this can be educational for parents, if they are willing to learn how to speak with their children. Many parents assume and expect children to be okay without really think about what they're saying so we hope we can spread awareness through this type of content.
@@Psych2go can opening up to your parent about how you feel or about something or something you don't like and they say "i dont care" or "your just feeling sorry for yourself" lead to depression or fueling depression?
I'm afraid to send this video to my mom, so instead I'm sending it to our mutual friend
@AryannaMckay If that's what's happening to you, that's very unfortunate.. I don't exactly know your situation so I'm not sure if it leads to or fuels depression but it certainly doesn't help... For some reason, our parent's generation treats feelings as weaknesses and encourages us to only suppress them. Maybe it's their own upbringing. However, I sincerely hope that you have somebody you can talk to regarding how you feel about things. No person should ever feel dismissed or unheard about how they feel, certainly not from their parents..
@@Psych2go thank you. its usually when i tell my step-dad I feel like a bad person or something like that he says "you're just feeling sorry for yourself" and I've told him about how I feel about some things and she said he doesn't care and sometimes when I ask him stuff like "what do you need help with" or "Where are we going?" He'll tell met to stop asking stupid questions or to not worry about it- So I was just wondering if that fueled depression or anxiety, ty for letting me know
My parents always say that my depression is from my phone when in reality, it's what is holding me back from ending it. Social media is the only thing that makes me happy
That is true
Same, especially whenever my K-pop crushes make new content and music. I feel safe around my crushes. It’s heartbreaking that parents like this destroy a child’s dreams and ambitions.
They have a point. I disagree with 2:34. It's most likely not the main cause of depression, but it definitely fuels it to an extent. It's a fact that excessive social media use, ESPECIALLY tiktok and instagram worsen anxiety and depression. Try to gradually decrease the time you spend on your phone.
@@darkstrifequeen1458they took all social media away accept KZhead and Weverse and idk what I’d even do without my groups😅
At this point, parents are just becoming stupid in mental health situations
it hurts the most when you tell your parents how you feel and they start saying how they gave you everything and how ungrateful you should be grateful
Yeah.
so true
Fr
I could remember several years ago I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my mom recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
they saved you from death bud, lets be honest here. and mushrooms are one of the most amazing things on this planet i wish people would all realize. they could solve a lot of problems, more than just mental treatments, environmental clean up; the possibilities are endless with fungus.
I have heard alot of good about this mushrooms and psychedelics. Really want to try them for Anxiety. Just very hard to get a reliable source here in Ireland. Really need!
Yes Dr.benshrooms 💯
I hate that psilocybin gets grouped with drugs like cocaine and heroin. Mushrooms are a remedy, not a vice! I went on a microdose treatment for a couple of months and within the first week, every sight of a cigarette got me questioning why I was doing all that to myself. It really works.
How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta
All kids deserve parents, but not all parents deserve kids -wise words
-From some random person
So true.....
surely a fact
Hi
its true my parents didn't even want me in the first place. And my mom even said that she didn't even want another child so it makes me feel like a burden.😞
I'm 45 now, but when I was a teenager, I was severely depressed. I tried talking to my mom about it, and her reaction was devastating. She actually got angry with me, told me I was thinking too negatively, said I was a "stinkin thinker", said I needed to read more books about positive thinking. Toxic positivity was a huge thing in our home growing up. After that day, I learned that I could never talk to my mom about anything deep - I felt betrayed. My dad is dismissive about anything emotional or anything having to do with anyone else but himself. I kept to myself. To this day, I still have depression and anxiety, but I know now I can talk to my sister. I'm coming to understand that I can only have a superficial relationship with my parents.
When they passed away. Don’t show up at their funeral and don’t help them either.
@@rbsmith3365fr
once I read in a book, if we don't healing our past and make peace with that (this include our parents) we never gonna bright in our 100%, talking to them, let them know about your past feeling or just forgive them because maybe in that time they weren't prepared enough to deal with that kind of situation, is the best way, after that you will lose a huge amount of weight on your back, I did it, and it worked. Cheers.
I'm 32 and had the same experience in my youth when it comes to toxic possitivity. I feel like I can only be a bit more open about problems to my siblings and close friends because of it.
@Portrait61-nr4bo when people repeatedly tell you you are something you start believing it.
these points hit a bit too harshly. I relate too much of this yet my parents were all “Depression starts at thirteen, you can’t be depressed, you’re just sad, grow up.” When I was 8-9. so it hurt realising that i was actually depressed. I can’t take it anymore
Happened to me too...I hope we will get through this tho...😢
You can do this❤
Don’t worry.You will get through this madness
I’m 12, and I have really bad depression, and it’s surprising to see that this video basically covers all of what my parents have been doing. Every single time something is mentioned in this video I would be like “ya, that’s my parents, all right.” I honestly wish that I could show them this video.
Because of your age it will be difficult for a while, also because you are living with your parents for few more years. But what I can tell you as an adult who grew up depressed (I'm not trying to impose thing on you, I swear)... Try to do as much as you can for your independence, what I mean by that is learn about your mental health and how you can improve it, how having emotional intelligence helps you have healthy relationships, try to take care of yourself to the best of your daily capacity. Also think about the future and how you can be independent, is good to rely on people too. Try to get someone who can be a guide for you, think about scholarships if you can or whatever external resources that will help you in the future. There's a lot of free or low cost resources around, just do a lil research! If you decide on a path and you change your mind or if you fail that's also ok, life is not exact or perfect.... It's a lot for a 12 year old, I know, but I wish someone (an adult) would have told me at least something like this when I was your age and I was feeling lost. So, I hope this doesn't come accross as annoying. ♥
I am 10, I also go through the same.
ur not alone bro
Same here just not to forget your not alone someothers feeling same thing to me i have nobody i dont friends seeing this video makes me feel better that im not alone by the way im 15
Omg, same and I'm 13 ( Like 1 month I turned 13) and I was same like. I also wish I could show. 🤧😫😩😣😔🥺🤍🖤
The worst one has to be when you finally get just enough courage to tell them and they say "just think positively". That is just not how it works.
Literally my parents.
Yep,they do not think of anything.They just find excuses to escape of what they think is a “oh-so sweet story”when in reality,it is vital for their child
Or they say "well what do you have to cry about"
@@Just.A.Goober.VentingI hate when they say that to me because I have no good comebacks so I just sit in silence. Also, my dad thinks depression isn’t real.
@@sicilyfanning tbh hate my mom for these reasons
I gotta admit it .... tears rolled down my eyes while watching this .... I never knew how I was being pushed into the hole of depression 💔
Same
My parents all ways push me aside and my dad told me one time when I opened up to him about my depression (I normally don’t) he said “your being such a pitty part” it wrecked now I don’t open up 😢
same
Me too, as I'm watching this now tears are rolling down my eyes, I now know that my parents fuel my depression
Same😢
Please, if you're having a bad day, just remember that somewhere in this world, theres still someone eho cares for you, someone might like you but is too embarassed to talk about it. So dont ever think that you have lost everything
01:08 What hurts more is the fact that that don't compare you with others. They compare you with yourself. Your past self which doesn't have depression.
Yeh, I remember sharing some of my heavy thoughts with nan and she would say, oh , you used to be such a freespirit
You messed up the grammer in first line Do you meamean they compare us with our past selves? My parents barely do that.
My parents love comparing me and my childhood to themselves and what they went through always telling me that I'm lucky and others have it worse. They didn't take my depression seriously for 3 years and even after being diagnosed still don't fully support me and my mom often puts down my mental illness. Started crying watching this because my mom has literally told me several times that me being anxious or upset is ruining my families time doing things. My mom often makes me the scapegoat too lol. I can't wait to move out
I am so sorry about all of this. Sending lots of love 💕💕
You definitely aren't alone, I wish you the best in your life
Good luck! 😊❤
I've experienced similar things and I feel you! Wishing you all the best!
YES! "Oh we were hit at school too". "Do you think I like going to work every day?" "you are depressed because you don't take jesus as your support"
I remember my mom saying "I tried giving you the best life I could, but you still ended up with depression." She didn't mean it in a hurtful way, and she was more frustrated with herself than anything else, as she also has depression, but it still made me feel really bad. Thankfully I still felt like I could talk to my parents, which definitely helped. One thing that is super important is having a good support system, even if it's just one or two people. My friend helped me out of the darkest time in my life, and I am so grateful to have a friend like her. Even if you're parents aren't there for you, intentionally or not, please reach out to someone you can trust
@@iamfighterman9646This kid doesn't even know what in the world depression is
@@iamfighterman9646 Well my mom has to refuse
@@iamfighterman9646 what do you mean by stupid depression
broo number 2 and the “you’re just going through your teenager phase” is so relatable 😢😢
Growing up with my grandmother due to family issues, I had depression, but when I tried telling anyone - anyone at all, they said I’m fine. Even my doctors. Whenever I got straight A’s, I was pushed to get straight A+’s and felt like I wasn’t good enough because I’d worked so hard to study the piano, for school, etc. The one person who was actually interested was my middle school band teacher, and he told me he could completely relate to me with everything, even my family issues. This video is so true.
Dude. You are absolutely goated for being able to hold up like this. I salute to you my friend.
I gotta say: my depression years started when I was 9, not surprisingly, my parents didn't care about it and said I was thinking about it too much, I'm16 now (soon to be 17 in 3 months) and it never left me. Personally, I'm an introvert, so I don't say anything about it anymore, but it has stuck with me throughout these few years
I started having depression at 9 too!But I’m not planning on telling my parents anytime soon.
i am 10 years old and I got depression' s all signs idk I was going to hurt myself but I just comedown myself I know how it feels when your mom sister both have depression and mom don't understand 😢💔💔
Same. Mine started at 12.. but it got a little better when I finally moved out.. now I'm 30 but still struggle.
Same started at nine to my mom said I'm just a little girl who has nothing to worry about also my cousin's depression started at nine I was 8 at the time I could tell she had it cus she cried about a lot of things I wondered why but now I know 😭
@@Ifrah_faraz BE MAH FRIEND
I have no tears left to cry
2 MONTHS AGO???
I tought u were saying that ariadnas song! 😭
I know this comment was made 2 months ago so I wanted to ask, how are you doing now?
@@Psych2gowhen was this video released unlisted
I feel the exact same way 💔
Hitting the nail on the head again. I've come to accept now at the age of 31 that a future where I retain close proximity to my parents without holding onto some anger, bitterness and resentment for their absolutely thorough emotional and physical neglect of me doesn't really exist. They're not terrible people and they realise they've clearly made mistakes with me but living at home with them is and was a mistake for myself. Distance makes the heart grow fonder and the pressure I've felt from my cultural upbringing to look after them in their older years combined with a toxic and somewhat broken relationship has damaged my physical and mental health significantly the past 3 to 4 years.
0:59 I feel like parents forget that they can just look it up, read a book about it, or ask someone about it. Instead, they either forget that or just choose not to. I feel sick from this...
So relatable... the biggest problem being that there's just no one to trust around me. No one to talk to.
It's difficult when you're self isolating because of depression. I know it's difficult to do, but try to put yourself out there, yea it hurts to be vulnerable, but you can't make true friends if you're not willing to weed through the bad ones. Easier said than done I know. Try going into discord chat rooms of subjects you're passionate about and talk to people there. Maybe do something like VR chat where you can actually verbally talk to people, you don't need VR to play VR chat. You can play it on a pretty basic computer. If you can't do that then unfortunately you'll have to resort to meeting new people in the real world, something I'm still struggling with getting the courage to do personally. I hope this unsolicited advice helps you, and I wish you luck in finding some friends that are worthy of your friendship. 🙏🩷
Dude, I know that feeling... It's even worse when you're parents are the one who you not want to talk to, but remember there are people here who support you ^_^
God is always there. He'll listen to you.
Totally agree and feel the same, I really don’t trust people they always are selfish and self absorbed so they don’t REALLY Care about others situations. Yet on the flip side I genuinely cared about others and tried to be there for them and help out.
Fr they sometimes don't care or just say that you're overthinking it
Timestamps 1). They are constantly comparing me 1:07 2). They shut down moments of vulnerability 2:05 3). They guilt-trip you 3:08 4). They are overly strict 3:55 5). They blame you for everything 4:32 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
awww, thanks ❤
@@pupstar69 not a problem happy to help
Thanks so much for doing that you made my day
@@WhatdoyouWant-kt3ib not a problem happy to help
@@A55a551n that’s so sweet of you 🤍
Dad writing: my daughters KZhead was open. Now I have this channel on my account. What a one in a million chance to see this video. Helps me understand my oldest a lot more on how interact with her. Thank you very much this video. Now to understand them a bit more.
I'm an adult that still lives at home. I grew up with a lot of the experiences listed in the video, and for the most part, I still do. My parents are very dismissive of any mental heath issue that isn't "serious" like bipolar disorder or Schizophrenia. My mom is upset with herself because she tells me and my siblings that she wanted to create an environment to where we could talk to her about anything, but me and my siblings all unanimously concluded that's not the case. She says she wants to create tha environment going forward, but any time I attempt to be vulnerable with her, she's dismissive. When I tried to start a conversation with her about my mental health, she was saying one thing, but her face and tone of voice was gave away what she was really thinking, which is thay she didn't believe me. That was the last nail in the coffin for me when it comes to opening up to her. I wouldn't even dare try to talk about that with my dad. I'm a preacher's kid. He would try to pray all of the problems away. Also, from what my brother says when he tried to open up, my dad was very unserious and made a joke of everything. Needless to say, going forward, neither of them will know anything about my personal life. I feel it would be a waste of my time and energy to share anything with them if they're not going to take me seriously.
Sorry about that I have the same problem too but in my case my mom prays her problems away and then starts complaining about it the whole day sometimes I think being a black kid suck while my European friends have the best just why
@@ZeroShadowX I'm also black. I feel it's much harder trying to get the older members of our community to listen about these sorts of things
@@justAmood8 i just wished Thier mentality wasn't stuck in 1500 study all day, no friends because Thier are demons in them get a degree and a family even if you don't want to
Thank you for this video. Having parents that don’t understand mental health & depression is also a lot more complicated when they’re from other countries that stigmatize mental illnesses. While my parents are good people and aren’t strict, they do have a tendency to compare with other when I feel bad and they don’t know have to actually help with my struggle with depression.
@@sulcusulnaris Yep, I learned what depression feels like when I went through it last year.
I'm from Romania and lots of people like my family beleve that depression is something people do to themself... I've been suffering for over a year now it feels like it will be a very long Journey...And I don't realy have any real friends either...
@@Gaby-ku9ym The saddest thing, is that partialy they are right. technicaly people do depression to themselves, but they cant just "stop being so negative" or I dont actualy know how do they say it in english. When a turtle gets on it's back, yes they do it for themselves, but they can't just easily undo it. I personaly was missunderstood, for a long time, but recently, after years of persuation, I managed to convince my arents, that I should get a psychologist. I havent even met her jet, but I do feel better already. I'm just saying that you should never lose hope, whatever disney bullshit does this sound.
very true
I am the same
I would love to see my parents seeing this video, after hearing all the things said here, I relate to it very much and I can definitely agree it is fuelling my depression. Parents should always focus on their children's mental health
And physical
I completely agree
Don't forget Emotional Health too
agreed!!@@yuhongooi8146
I can absolutely agree with the last one...
I am not happy these days, my father is away from home, and will be back in six months for various reasons. My mother fell into depression over my grandfather's health and I am doing the same end. It's also not good at school and this video made me cry because it's extremely true
This video really helps, my mom always says "why are you always so sad, it is not like your depressed" or "your just being ungrateful a lot of kids would want to have your life"
I am crying 😢 while watching this. I'm now 46 years old but I can still feel depressed and give me flashbacks almost every day. I made a lot of bad decisions because I wasn't aware of my anxiety and depression until recently. Thank you for this channel
That sounds reallly tough :( Have you spoken to a mental health professional about the flashbacks and your depression?
@@Psych2go I went for counseling and started reading and research about our brain 🧠 functions which gives me idea 💡 how to cope in more healthy ways. I started going to church because I need spirituality and heal my soul. It's just brother now who needs help because he's been alcoholic. And I constantly reminding him that he has menta illness because we really had chaotic childhood 😭
I'm sorry to hear that. Listen whatever your going through. your not a bad person for making mistakes we all make them even ones that could change our whole life. don't let people including your inner critic let you down. You are already on the right path to recovery and healing dont give up my friend
@@Thebrokenhopeseries347 ❤ thank you so much!!! Your kind words makes me feel strong 💪
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. It's great to hear that you're proactively working to improving your mental health. As @robinfoxstudios57 said, I hope you take the time to recover and heal and that you don't give up. We appreciate you for taking the time to share your story with us ❤️
I'm 19 and about to start college. I literally started crying while watching this because of how much it resonated with me.
I understand
Go away from home as you finish college❤ a hug
i'm 19 and i already failed second year of college
Same the tears are running down my face as a 14 year old.
After watch this i finally realized what's happening with me.every time i try to do something to Joy my mom, grandma really knows how to ruin, always make me angry with them when i was 16 to 18.
The whole time I watched, I cried becuz the little person who is supposed to be the viewer is me all the time. I feel like this all the time and don't want to. Thank you for making this. I really appreciate it. 💜
every time a student would get mad or angry in my third grade class, they would often call their altitude, actions, or emotions, ugly, which something that a teacher should never do to calm students down.
Yeah I've got strict parents who don't really understand mental health I think they try but they've got a lot of bad behaviors ingrained into their personality and it's getting really tiring
I feel this so bad. you're not alone friend
@@iamfighterman9646 ????? what???
My partner was in this exact situation. Things could have ended catastrophically, but I and my whole family stepped up to advocate for him, so his family would understand his situation. Thankfully we got through to them, and now he’s receiving professional help and things are slowly improving almost constantly. This was all super brave of him to do. He’s a lot stronger than he gives himself credit for.
I couldn't tell someone like that. It's too scary. My whole life, people have mistreated me. Kids, teachers, my mom's friends, my family and my mom. The only one that cared about me was my grandpa. Also, my cat, Grady. I have depression but I just can't tell anyone why.
So many of the issues, or reactions from parents mentioned in this video, I could completely relate to. Even before I learned that what I was experiencing was depression, I can remember Mom’s reaction. Like I was choosing to feel the way I was feeling, or reacting. This led to an even more profound lack of closeness to my parents than I was already experiencing. I was on medication for years, unbeknownst to my parents. Was in good place as an adult, and have vivid memories of my mom making a statement regarding people whom “ take pills to make them happy”. “People just need to “get a backbone”. I was so lucky in my twenties to find an incredible friend, whom l could relate to. She was older, and had suffered with depression for many years. She became my biggest support, the mother figure I never had. So my advice to young people suffering is to never give up hope. There is love, and support out there for you
The comparing Getting a high score and telling my parents with happiness inside and the outside while they ask "Are you the best kid in class? Couldn't you do better? Why can't you be like him?!" Leaving you to sadness and burning inside now. I would try my best to hear an "your the best! You did a good job!!" But it never happens. After the school ended, they gave all the kids how good they were with numbers. I got an 80% and my mom said "that's the worst score! It's been 3 years and what did you learn?! Nothing." Like that and shaming me. And I would be called the disgusting but pretty one in middle of my family. It's hard to talk things out when you got thoughts like "if I talk to them about this, they be mad. They will not care. They will be sad, they won't understand, they will think I'm a weirdo" And just to not get down with depression, I would be the class clown and talk about funny things to keep myself away from this. My head would be full of "I'm always fine, I have a great happy family. My life is loving and caring so I shouldn't be sad about anything" while having problems with these.
I remember hearing the first one. "You have a good life, you could be someone dying of cancer." That turned into me eventually replying that I'd rather be dying from cancer than this. And the phone was my escape. I reached out to people on the internet, but there was only so much they could do. I didn't have a therapist and because they blew off my depression I didn't have anyone and my mom isolated me, and I eventually spiraled downwards. I remember having a breakdown because of a toxic boss being on my ass at work. Instead of being supported I was just told to grow up... that's when I started cutting... I started self harming as means of escape or a cry for help and it got worse. I started drinking whenever I could get a hold of alcohol and I cutted more. It wasn't until I had a major breakdown and almost killed myself that they finally realized this was serious and I got the mental help and support I needed, therapy and medication. 😩
Dear gode
@@BurgerCreeper_ yeah :/
i hope ur okay now!! no one deserves to go through that. sending lots of love ♥️♥️♥️♥️
@@alinx261 yeah I'm doing a lot better than I did then. I took a chance at faith and I moved out. I still have struggles here and there, but not as bad as back then. I've definitely improved a lot since then
Thank you for helping all of those people, including me! Even though there are people that I know or that are closer to me, then you I still trust you even more then them your probably the only person I trust in my life because of how you always help me with all of my issues instead of others.. So, thank you so much for helping me with how I feel and helping me with my issues!
If a parent watch this video, I'll be very greatfull and share this to others.
2:33 Too relatable. They blame everything on technology, and try to find reasons to take it away
Yeah, exactly
Its because they want control
@@silverofthesunbears my parents abuse me it makes me sad they don't let me have friends so I play Roblox but then they try to take it away from me but Roblox is the only thing that I have ppl that care about me 😢
@@christinenilani1422 Reach out to local child protection services. Your parents CANNOT ban you from having social interactions
@@christinenilani1422same..😢
hiya future people! i hope your having a good day and if your not then i hope you have an AMAZING DAY tomorrow 🥰
ty!
hello
Hey
hi hi
6 months ago?? how long ago was this video actually posted....
And they always wonder why I wont come out to them... I tried to explain my feelings but they always find excuses to not even hear me..
My parents would tell me how much I have it better when I tell them how I feel, yelling at me, telling me that it was just me watching things, etc. They even threatened to have me committed to a psych ward because of my thoughts. I'm afraid of them because of it, and on top of that, my mom liked shoving me into walls when she was angry at me for the tiniest amount of sass I gave her. Thank you for helping me better understand why I'm so depressed.
This was me throughout my childhood. Although it wasn’t all bad, they would constantly compare me to others, or gaslight me to get what they wanted.
I'm 36 years old and I've been battling with depression for 20 years entirely on my own, because my parents always said I was just being "full of myself" and "overly vain" and I was told things like, "you're not that important in the grand scheme of things", "the world doesn't revolve around you", and "stop being so full of nonsense." I never fit in anywhere, never had friends, I was always overshadowed by my brothers in everything, and I feel like an absolute and complete failure because I still live with my parents, and have been unemployed for 10 of the last 17 years, and my depression hasn't gotten better. If anything, it's getting worse because of my age and lack of accomplishments, all the while I feel like I'm treated as a servant which isn't helped by the fact that people seem to be forgetting my name. They say the names of my brothers, cousins, or niece, and nephew, before they get to mine. My parents, in one way or another did ALL of these to me my whole life. They never encouraged me cultural or artistic pursuits; quite the opposite, they were always overly critical, dismissive, or just outright told me I had no talent or aptitude for what I was attempting. The ONLY thing they ever encouraged me in was a career as a chef, but I believe that was so that everybody would have an excuse not to cook, do dishes, or clean the kitchen; a belief supported by them telling me, "A chef cleans his kitchen." I'm 36 years old, I can't play a musical instrument, can't draw to save my life, I don't sing or dance, I have no interest in acting... in fact, I don't actually know what I AM interested in. All I ever do is try to find ways of making money and play video games.
As someone half your age I'm not gonna lie I'm scared to get to that point too. That's why I'm never gonna stop drawing. I think that's the only worthwhile thing I've done over the past decade; draw and tell stories. Even so, I don't think it's too late for you to find something, new or old, that you're passionate for, like acting or a swim class. Maybe it won't even make you money, but if you aren't having any fun at all I don't think you're living! When it all comes rushing back to you after you set down the controller or x outta yt like me, then you know how much that sucks. So, I guess that but doubled. That isn't related, btw. Please don't take off marks for I just wanted to say it. Good wishes
Wow I am sorry your having to go through that. You have every right to move out of that toxic household. Your 36 you can just leave and never come back. If you want you have every right to cut ties with your entire family. There’s no need to have space in your life for such toxic people. Your 36 and you deserve to live your own life. You can totally move out of the house asap. No one should be forced to live with their parents at that age. Your old enough to be the parent of a teenager
I only realized recently that those feelings within myself are mostly related to my adhd but my mother has a heavy hand in it
I am MUCH younger than you....but as someone who is also battling with depression, I can understand you. It's true that only people who suffer through this state, knows how exhausting it is. Most of the people don't see it as a real problem, when it is far more complicated than that, and just a few words like - "Be normal" " Stay happy" "It's okay".... doesn't always solve the problem. Some people try to help for the first two or three days but then they start treating us the same toxic way, frustrated about "why is she not healing when I've said sooo many supportive words to her."..... It's just that many people just don't see it as a real issue or are willing to help but don't really end up helping. So, my point is that, I've reached out for help, but ended up making my mental health even worse. So, we need to heal ourselves in this case. You said you play video games all day right? Because you're playing it all day, I can bet you're a pro in gaming. You can't tell me otherwise. So how about you stream your gaming skills on KZhead or post different gaming videos. All you have to do is have patience. Because KZhead takes a lot of time to blow up a channel. You just have to be consistent with uploading videos. However it'll be worth it. Don't worry, I know we all feel like it's a dead end and there's no way out. But trust me, there's always a door right in front of you. You just have to try hard to open it. You will win this battle, I will too, we all will. Just know, that when the world refuses to help, you still have yourself with you.
hey you don't want to see my stick figures! 🤣😂🤣 I can't subtract, divide, multiply on paper, never mind algebra, trig or chem. Playing video games is the best, I've been at it since 1986 at least. I would really recommend you reach out within your community for some kind of support program where you can gain some independence from those emotional vampires as they are ruining your life (as even you have admitted). There are people like you out there, you are not alone (so cliché but it's true). For the love of Mario just get in touch with a depression support group and they will help you become who you are meant to be. Oh and btw It's OK OK OK to be mediocre! It's ok not to have ambition to manage corporate takeovers. I'm fine with what I have and what I am (I gave up a career as a lawyer and now work in a museum and a language centre and I'm studying at the age of 42 to do these jobs). You're fine the way you are. Let us know if you've found some support otherwise I'm sure someone could help you (I am in Germany).
The "Overly Strict One" And "Getting Blamed" Is Just So Painful
This is so accurate, I watched this when i was 7 while having these depressions, I'm 10 now and they still act like that but this video just breaks my heart even harder
Every generation complains that the next has ruined something, not realizing that they raised the people ruining things
As a parent, I appreciate these videos. It makes me more aware and makes sure that I am the best parent I can be while my child approaches their teen years. I am happy that I would never do these things to them, I have realised. Thanks :)
I was going to comment something similar. I want to be the best mom I can be for my kids, and the videos help.
that's great. We have a 6 year old son and he gets told often that it's ok to be scared, to cry, to be sad, to tell us how he feels and of course that he is loved.
I wish I had a parent like you
@@catsarelit5305same 😔
@@catsarelit5305 me too
I love your videos, im struggling with emotions and depression and watching this video makes me feel less lonely. Your voice is so calming too ❤
Parents hurt us and know how much pain we feel i have been going through it for years now but i still haven't adapted to it makes me feel more happy when i am around school friend than family members
I never wanted to say I had depression, and I never blamed my parents... Now I'm 18, my girlfriend helped me to see that it's not me, but it's too late now, I'm an adult, I just wish I noticed before...
It's not your fault and it's never too late to take charge so you can be happier.
I'm in my sixties. My parents referred to my "silly" teenage years and even threw my antidepressants in the bin and laughed about it.
I hope that you’ve left home. Don’t help them and don’t go to their funeral.
@@rbsmith3365 They're both dead now. I went to their funerals to keep up appearances and am in therapy to try and banish memories of them which still cause pain. I'm making progress. Thank you for your comment. It's very helpful.
All the best for you and everyone that struggle with or without mental health issues 🌌❤🤗😊
Jesus Christ what kind of parent throws thier child’s antidepressants in the bin
@@elliottpakhe is in 60s so I guess 1980s
Hey, i think you should do a video on ways other family members can effect your depression. I experienced many of these not from my mother, but my siblings (particularly my older sister). I think its important to address that parents are not the only people whose words can have a big impact on you. Love you guys, you are doing the world a big favor by spreading awarness ❤.
This is so real. I just feel alone all the time and like I have nobody to talk to and it feels freaking draining. No even my parents, I just feel the reaction will be the same as the video.
number 2 really hit close to home for me. When I would tell my mom that i was struggling, she would shut it down and just keep making excuses and invalidating my feelings. She would say i have a loving family, nice things etc. so i didn't need a reason to be depressed or sad. Thank you for this video
Ugh... This reminds me a lot of my childhood/teenage years unfortunately... I was compared to my older sister, for not being as productive or organised as she was from my mother and that led me to have insecurities and a terrible depression... Our father was missing, but when he found out he became more supportive than my mother ever was with me.
I started crying during “They blame you” it really does feel like at this point that I don’t belong, my dad step mom and sister make it seem like they have this clique mentality where they only do stuff as a family during the weekend when I see my mom and other sisters, they’ll go do something fun we all planned on doing but leave me out, they’ll eat out somewhere I had been wanting to go for months or weeks, and I’m pretty sure they like to play favorites too, for the last 5 months my sister has gotten something almost every other day and atleast twice a week, but if I ask for something I’m told that they aren’t able to do it at the moment, even though they had just gotten something for her, my birthday hurt me the most though, I was happy to get what I got (some candy, a $15 game, and $5 for Roblox) and when my sister’s birthday came, she got a PlayStation 5, and that still hurts a bit 2 months later seeing that their favoritism is quantifiable, I’m not even worth 17% of what she’s worth to them. That’s all and sorry for rambling.
I'm not even a teenager and I can't cry over the stuffs that made me feel extremely emotional anymore
I relate to this very much.. my chest often tighten because I kept things to myself since my parent won't understand. That ended up me bottling things up inside. It's getting suffocating, really.
I wish all my problems went away. I can’t breath because I have too much. My grandma is dead, I had to abandon my friends and move, middle school is miserable, and self worth is a question always left unanswered, and I was once considered a selfish person because I am open about my feelings. I hate life
My parents do basically everything spoken about in the video. The worst thing is they cant swallow their pride and understand they've failed at raising me and are better off leaving me alone to do my own thing, instead of harassing me to get up at a certain time, or to get my schoolwork done (I take online classes that go at my pace), or to yutrry up and get my driver's license. They say they want a good relationship with me, but that feels like a bold faced lie, and i know i don't want a relationship with them anymore anyways. I wanna grow up and get out. I just feel trapped here, not safe.
Now this is a perfect backstory for the FBI (I am so sorry if I offended you)(I just wanted to lighten the mood)(it’s a joke)(sorry)
@@lavenderiris9744 nah, nah. This is funny and did lighten the mood
This is are very accurate examples, i have severe deppresion and anxiety, and my parents try to decline that i do, and say that im just sad, or freaked out by somethin i watch, i normally like to watch horror things, idk if this is damaging my depression or anxiety worse, but i barely have any emotion towards things, ' I think im supposed to feel towards ' I swear you are my online therapist, Thank you so much ❤️
I've experienced depression for 7 years now, and one day my sisters and I were pretty down and upset bc our mom was killed and my dad said to us "her death isn't a reason for you guys to not do your chores." I've turned to my bf and his mom for support bc they truly care... we're online sonnot being able to physically hug him when I'm at a low sucks, but we call and text daily and he's made me feel less alone.. 💚
I'm in my 30's and my parents worsened my depression/anxiety/ even gave me physical illnesses from the stress of dealing with them. Eventually, I had to go no-contact to heal.
Good, I’m glad that you’ve left your toxic parents.
To those growing up and are all 'wow my parents do ALL of this!" Trust me, you're not alone. I was one of them. The SECOND you become an adult you need to move out, right away. Just drop everything and move far away from them. Trust me, you will grow and have such a better life one step at a time.
As a 10 years old, I have the same thinking as you.
@@WaterGaming777same i am 10 and thinking the same thing
Thank you so much!These informations really helped me get myself together,cause my parents just had an argument yesterday.
I'm a teenager this is happening every day now. When I need help I am aways overreacting for them. When I'm depressed I always make things up for them. I try to talk to my parents and they make it worse. I'm happy that the person who is reading this is listening to my problems. I was thinking am I wrong or I'm just not ment to be in a good life. I wish my parents cared about me and trusted me without making my depression and sadness worse and dismiss the fact I need to go to a professional to help with my life and not making it worse. Ty for youre time
Some of these points hit a little too close to home. As a teen I was told to “stop pretending to be a tortured artist” quite a bit. It was really tough. If I didn’t have a “real reason” to be sad, then I was dismissed and was assumed I was just pretending to get attention
Oh that's the favorite line by people who know nothing about depression "some people have much worse problems than you"
And then the people that are faking it ACTUALLY gets attention which is complete bullshit
My parents did these to me on the last years of my childhood, Im 12 now and it truly hurts that they're the same as before. But i let it slide because in our country, explaining your side is disrespectful and i had to bottle up all those feelings because i have to avoid those threats of disowning me. I still vividly remember when my mom said "I'll keep saying hurtful words" because of a small problem. I understand that my mom was struggling because she had to take care of me when she was young, her words hurt and she doesn't understand why i dont trust her because she was also pranking me alot; this one time she said my dad didn't arrive in time to pay my exam permits and i cried because school was the only safe plsce for me and i didn't wanna skip exams, she also pranked me many times like this and i lost count. I feel really worried on how she grew up when she had me and I'm really worried about her childhood because i dont know what influenced her into this. She also dismissed my eating problems and proceeded to say that im skinny and i don't need to worry. I feel really hurt and i don't know why she treats me like this. (I struggle with expressing problems and deep stuff so sorry for the constant switch of topics)
I have depression. But i have always hated myself. I have been in denial about being depressed, and refused to believe it. My parents have done all of these things listed in this video, but i don't think they realize what they're doing. They love me more than anything, even if I don't deserve it. I also have autism and social anxiety. I do feel everything in this video, but I choose to ignore it as best as I can. I believe that other people can't help me with this. I have to get through it myself.
all needed is just a hug and "are you okay?" is that too much to ask for?
I’m in my 30s, and I don’t even feel safe being around my parents anymore because they’ve been doing this to me my entire life.
I just ran away when I was 18 last year. I do not even want to mention whatever happened- but I can say. It was horrible, terrifying and they were EXTREMELY rude.
My mom will always say I’m fine. Whether I’m in physical, mental or emotional pain. I once started having a depressive episode and a panic attack at my job in front of all my coworkers and my boss. And I called her to ask if I could come home. She told me “you’re fine! I deal with depression all the time.” I felt so hollow and embarrassed that I basically just threw myself into work. I then proceeded to pass out when I got home. Which I was then called lazy for. My ankle right now feels like it’s being stabbed whenever I take a step. And she just brushed it off. I’m just the “happy go lucky only boy in the family.” I’m not allowed to be angry or upset, i don’t even remember what it’s like to genuinely smile without feeling guilty for it. And as of recently I’ve discovered scars underneath both of my wrists. I don’t remember making them.
You makes me super sad because you are living example of 'it will never get better. Even if you grew up from you teen depression and became a young adult there is no reason for you to feel better'. But well guess we are all fucked up. I gotta hand it to you that you have all rights to feel bad and depressed and have no reasons to feel guilty about it. I feel bad for you bad you gotta understand few facts... 1 It is ok to feel sad, bad guilty, awfull and have depression, It is ok to wants to die and to wants to feel happy (you deserve happines just like everyone) and to wants to be acepted, be enough by beijg just you. 2 You mother is toxic pice of shit that you should avoid all ways you can. I know it hurts my mother is no better. She also is my only parent and I must to live with her because of my age. You propably have your reasons too but you should do anything to get away from her. Fast and for good. She seems like the kind of person that you will never be good enough for whatever you do so just stop trying to find comfort in her and bare in mind - mark - that she may be your mother and the reason you came to this world but you own her nothing for that and it is not the only thing you should be admired by. 3 You should try seeking help. You are an adult I suppose so please get an appointment at psychologist/psychiatrist or even in a psychiatric ward. It is meant to help you. Please don't harm yourself even if you don't remember it don't do it intentionaly. Also the important thing is that you should try change your life anyhow. moving out. Going to live onboard in other countres. Or by finding friends or a lover (know it's not easy but trying never hurts) you can try something that used to make you happy or supposed to at least like having a day of for a nice diner with a movie to rest a bit. Or finding a new job - not saying quit immidiatly but look around for something better? The previous one seems like it is draining you... Please get better even if advices are not accurate enoughjust try overthink anything that you could do for yourself to help you. - gonna sound like shit but I (someone unknown in other side of the world) cares for your well being, ok?
True
I’m so sorry. I don’t pretend to know what your life is like, but I would recommend going to a therapist, outside of your moms influence. Ask your father, or if that is not possible, ask another adult who you trust to help you get a therapist.
I don’t trust anyone. Or at least not fully.
Watching this now makes me feel a rollercoaster of emotions because I realized that my parents have been doing this since I was in 3rd grade
They just keep shaming because of the effects of it and completely ignore the cause of it
2:06 is so true. I’m always scared to tell my parents what’s going on and I’m scared to cry around them, because they always get pissed off at me when I cry over little things and tell me to grow up…
this us kind of a vent sry i relate to this one so much im gong through a some shit rn and i don’t know why im crying rn this segment is too relatable 😔 my parents don’t listen to me so i dont tell them stuff something that just crushed me and started giving me anxiety was the fact that when i told my mom i was genderfluid and wanted to go by the name Max, she just brushed it off and thought it was a silly phase and refused to use my preferred name. she engorged me to be a ally but when i tell her about my identity she doesnt support me. ive also told her im a furry. she just to,d me all furrys over 18 are perverts. they’re literally people cosplaying animals with human features. the majority of us are against the bad side of the furry fandom (perverts, zoos, etc) it just crushes me. she’s always said to be myself and i am. im trying to be a good person. i have dark humor and i can be toxic at all lot of times. she doesn’t like it. i dont want to be toxic either. im working on improving. im actually being myself around her and she hates it. she’s off and on about supporting me and i dont know what to do.
@@MaxIsEatingLegos I’m a furry too and that’s exactly what I’m afraid of telling my parents. I don’t think they would mind if I came out as bi or gay or genderfluid (I am straight lmao, and Christian- I fully support lgbtq), but I’m pretty sure they don’t like furries. Honestly, most of what you’re saying is relatable too! And I don’t mind the vent. ^^
@@SharkyProot honestly, my best advice is dont. also, thanks for not minding by vent ❤️
@@MaxIsEatingLegos yeah I r decided not to tell them
My dad does the same thing. I don’t want him to see me crying because I know he’s going to use the classic line “what do you have to cry about?”, or something similar. He always starts yelling at me, which causes me to start breaking down even more, and make his yelling and my crying worse and worse. I hate being around him, since his behavior can turn on a dime when you tell him something he apparently didn’t want to hear. He tells me I can talk to him about my mental health, yet when I do, the conversation gets shot down, and he ignores me.
this vid resonates with me SOOOO much, i was beating myself up for even clicking on this, yelling at my victim mentality, but now i'm scared-
FOUR MONTHS AGO??
Which part resonated with you the most?
@@yasminaminaminawait how-
@@froog2 we don’t ask questions atp
@@yasminaminaminait released unlisted
You just said everything I'm suffering of with my parents... I'm speechless but this is so accurate! I wish I had better parents..
I’ve always hated the talking to my parents because it always ends up being something I did wrong and I hate myself. Then they ask me why i hate talking to them and when I tell them, they get mad and say I’m rude and mentally abusing or gaslighting them.
I know I'm super late but watching videos like this make me realize just how lucky I am to have parents like mine. I don't have depression but I do have a few other conditions such as OCD, and my parents made sure to take the time to research everything about my conditions and respond appropriately. Every negative thing here is something my parents either don't do at all or change into a positive way. For instance with the comparing I'm a writer and so my parents instead of saying “Why aren’t you as good as -” will instead say “Wow! Your writing is even better then -” filling the blank with my favorite writer and it makes me feel really good. As a kid I talk to myself the way my parents talk to me, and I know every kid does as well and because my parents shower me with affection and positivity I talk to myself the same way. I can only imagine the devistation whenever your parents instead of being kind and loving only ever talk to you with disdain and annoyance. Whenever I'm sad my parents instead of making it worse will team up to make it better for mem and they always make it better not worse. How horrible must a parent be to only add to there children’s struggle instead of help? I’m still young so I struggle with things but my parents are always there for me, and it makes me so heartbroken that my parents are the exception not the rule. I hope every parent watches this video and realizes how much it effects there kids and becomes more like my parents.
Same here. I'm lucky to have such loving and kind parents that always look out for me, or listen to my struggles so they can help. So it makes me sad to know that some parents out there only end up ruining or hurting their children. For anyone who reads this, I hope you have a bright future and know that there will always be people that are kind, loving and are willing to care for you.
Sounds like a very loving and healthy bond between all of you. So glad to hear that generational traumas can be broken and children can be loved, supported and have their feelings validated. Hope you would continue the tradition for your own children and help create a world with healthy parents and healthy children. 🌎
This makes me happy I wish I had parents like you and I don’t even have it THAT bad
wow, im happy for you :> I wish my parents were less negative towards me because I started blaming myself for everything habitually and then my parents are like "why are you so negative" like what??
When I was nine or something, I had a real breakdown. I was crying because I felt horrible about how I treated people, what was happening in my life, etc. I just found something to cry about. This went on for an hour, until my mom came in and talked kindly to me, hugged me, and snuggled me. I've always wished that could happen again, even if only just once. I loved that. It's like fuel for me to keep on going. My mom isn't a very sympathetic person, so the days she is extra nice, I remember them.
All I do is just hide my feelings and just think about happy thoughts and hope for the best
sending a hug...
whenever i am sad i hug my pillow thats the closes thing ive hugged to a person
Same 😢 they say that the average human needs 8 hugs a day to function at full capacity. I just use my pillow
Same I imagine my pillow as a person so I can think I am hugging a person
Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 1:08 1: They’re constantly comparing you. 2:06 2:They shut down moments of your vulnerability. 3:10 3: They guilt-trip you. 3:56 4: They are over strict. 4:33 5: They blame you for everything. 5:21 Outro
Thanks!
I think the order is wrong…
You skipped the "They shut down moments of vulnerability" between 1 and 2. But thanks!
@@ORProductionss the order is correct, he forgot about one of reasons
@@whatpach8145 thank lemme fix that
The point about nothing ever being good enough hit me hard. My father was that way. When I first learned to use the computer to print out a story I had written, he didn't even read it, he just started marking it up with tabbing and spacing "mistakes" I had made. When I couldn't keep up in school because I was also in TAG, I was told I just had to work harder. When I had a 3.7 GPA and made the honor roll, I was told I should have made it to high honors. And as an adult, when I said I wanted to work in day care so I could be close to my young child while I was working, I was told I should get a "real job" in an office somewhere. Ironically, while all of this was happening my brother was being told he wasn't smart and well-mannered like I was. My father passed several years ago and my brother and I are mid-life and have a great relationship, but those scars never go away.
Every day I came here and it started to fell like a therapist and it has been helping me
I'm 8,And i have the worst depression,i also have mother issues,i showed my mom this and she made it worse,safe to say this video made my day and maked me go less of suicide,I hope someday parents will understand :)
Managed to got over my teenage without too much problem, but now my brother shares the same fate with my younger self. Of course, my parents aren't ones to be overly strict or somethin' like that, but they seemed to never learn not to guilt-trip and comparing us, because 1. We hate the tone of their voices when they did that, and 2. We've heard it over and over again, and need something else to hear, like good advices.
Yup. I'm the youngest sibling left so now the only people in the house to talk to are them. They don't do all the things on this list, but they do make the environment not a healing space. Luckily I leave for college in a few days
@@jjaa_joyjoyartist oh? College, eh? Then I wish you the best of luck on your journey, then.
@@horacestorm13 thanks!
It's hard being the oldest sibling. Knowing you're "free" but they're still "stuck" there for a few years
Wow... this struck a chord with me. I actually wish more people would talk about this, because it's something I see many people go through. 💔 I remember when teenage me finally gained the courage to tell my mom about my depression (at this point, I was suicidal and becoming afraid of myself). I didn't even mention me being depressed, I just brought up the topic of mental health and depression, but when I did, she asked me "You don't think you're depressed, do you?" She then went on a lengthy tirade about how our family "doesn't get depressed", how I had no reason to be sad, I should be grateful, to never mention that I felt that way to a doctor or they'd put me on medicine that would "mess me up". Needless to say, she did much more damage to me than anyone else. I've never felt more alone in my life, because the larger part of me agreed with her. The guilt that you carry being depressed and not knowing why is something I can't put into words, but she personified that fear and amplified it tenfold. Because I had already told myself that I didn't deserve to feel depressed. But that isn't even what hurt the most. It was the fact that years down the line, years after repairing all the damage she'd done to me (by myself), she started talking about her own anxiety, carrying it like a badge, and told me that she was prescribed medication for it.... All that being said, I truly believe this topic merits so much more attention than it gets, because it can really tear a person down in ways I can't describe. Thank you so much for bringing it to light ❤❤
I am happy you are doing better now
@RainaWilkins Thank you, I am much better~ 💕
I've experienced similar things and it's detrimental to your health when family, friends and teachers cause these issues and then minimise or make fun them.
I'm sorry about what happened with your mom :( ....I hope you're doing better! Also I'm currently struggling as of now with depression as a teenager and I'm hoping you would know maybe a thing or 2 about how to cope with it or atleast hang in there. That would be a great help!
@GamingatFullpower Ofc! 💕 Granted, I'm no mental health professional in the slightest, and the biggest piece of advice I can offer you is to get help if you really need it. I tried toughing it out on my own, and it took sooo much longer to heal, and I'm still not where I need to be. If you find yourself not being able to get professional help, seek out free resources online, find anyone who will listen, contact a hotline if need be. Know that someone's out there, and they are more than willing to hear your story~ That being said, here are a few things I've learned through all these years: 1. Please be kind to yourself~ Treat yourself as you would treat the people you love most in the world. 2. Never undermine your experiences. Your pain is real, and under no pretenses does it NOT deserve to be remedied. 3. Know that you're exactly where you need to be. You don't have to have all the answers right now, and there's no need to rush. Trust that it will be alright in time. 4. Never look for self-worth outside of *yourself*. You are not your grades. You are not your appearance. You are not the way you are treated by others. You are remarkable. Extraordinary. There's only one you, and there will only EVER be one you. You are a miracle and a phenomenon within yourself, and you are worthy of kindness, peace, compassion, and love. Life isn't easy. Sometimes, it may even get worse before it gets better. But as long as you remind yourself of these things, and hold strong (because you are), you will find that even the toughest times can be endured; that the courage to preservere forever dwells within you. I'll impart this quote from Emily Dickinson as my last bit of guidance: “Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul - and sings the tunes without the words - and never stops at all.” John Green mentions this quote in his video, and he also brought to light one thing that really resonated with me: Emily Dickinson never said that you can always *hear* the song of hope, but that it never stops. Though you may not be able to hear it right now, know that it is always playing and will be heard again~ I'm so sorry for how lengthy this was, but I hope it helps! Good luck, and I wish you every happiness~ 💜
Another example of the first one is when they compare you to how you used to be. For example asking why you don’t do as well in school anymore, or complaining about an old hobby you give up over time.
When I’m a mother, I will help my child if they tell me they have depression, anxiety, etc because I know how this feels to be told that it’s “just a phase”
I honestly feel bad for everybody out there that has to deal with these kinds of parents.. nobody should be treated as if depression is an excuse.. everybody should be treated fairly, and nobody should have to feel like they're nobodies..
Too many are true. The worst is that I also have autism and parents who like to make fun of it or blame me for the problems it causes.
Same here. I also have autism and ADHD.
I used my mom's yt account and subbed to this channel. So your videos will pop up in her reccomendations. To show her that I didnt choose to have depression. I didnt choose to be unhappy. Why would I? Im tired of every little thing ruining my life already. I want to be happy. Thank you.
I'm 11 and i have depression because of my mother. I have every one of these signs. My mother and sister guilt trip me all the time. It's annoying how that complain about taking care of us when they chose to have us. My mother and sister are also overly strict and it hurts me because it isolates me from everything and everyone.
Thank you for the awesome video! Here are some more things parents might do that could fuel teenage depression: 1. Lack of Communication: Ignoring or not engaging in open conversations with your teenager can make them feel isolated and unheard, which may contribute to feelings of depression. 2. Overwhelming Pressure: Putting excessive pressure on your teenager to excel in academics, sports, or other activities can lead to stress and a sense of failure if they can't meet your expectations. 3. Comparisons: Constantly comparing your teenager to others can lower their self-esteem and create a sense of inadequacy, potentially leading to depressive feelings. 4. Dismissing Emotions: Dismissing or trivializing your teenager's emotions, like saying "you're just being dramatic," can make them reluctant to express their feelings and lead to depression. 5. Overprotectiveness: Being overly controlling or not allowing your teenager to have some independence can hinder their personal growth and contribute to feelings of helplessness. 6. Invalidation: Invalidating your teenager's emotions by telling them their feelings aren't valid or that they shouldn't feel a certain way can make them suppress their emotions and lead to depression. 7. Unrealistic Expectations: Setting unrealistic expectations for your teenager's behavior, appearance, or achievements can create immense stress and self-doubt, contributing to depression. 8. Neglecting Mental Health: Ignoring or downplaying mental health issues can prevent your teenager from seeking help when needed, worsening their depression. 9. Criticism: Constantly criticizing or belittling your teenager's actions or decisions can erode their self-esteem and lead to depressive thoughts. 10. Conflict at Home: Frequent conflicts, yelling, and arguments in the household can create a hostile environment that negatively impacts your teenager's mental health. 11. Negative Role Modeling: Displaying negative coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse or unhealthy relationships, can indirectly encourage your teenager to adopt similar behaviors. 12. Unrealistic Body Image Standards: Promoting unrealistic body image standards can lead to body dissatisfaction and contribute to feelings of depression, especially in teenagers. 13. Neglecting Self-Care: Not prioritizing your own mental and emotional well-being can set an example that neglecting self-care is acceptable, impacting your teenager's understanding of their own well-being. 14. Invasion of Privacy: Invading your teenager's privacy and not respecting their boundaries can make them feel violated and less likely to trust you, potentially leading to depression. It's crucial for parents to maintain open lines of communication, provide emotional support, and be mindful of their actions to foster a positive and healthy environment for their teenagers. If you suspect your teenager is struggling with depression, seeking professional help is essential.
Dame this is so true. Thank you for sharing this comment and for work you put in making it. It is awesome ❤
10 and 14 are so insidious they're never discussed! V true
I feel like i need to send this to my mother. Every time me or one of my siblings struggled with life in general, she'd either dismiss it or belittle us. She also holds us (except for my youngest sister) up to ridiculously high standards, piling more pressure when it came to chores. This eventually accumilated to the point that me and my brother just don't care about meeting her standards. It also got to a point when we were going through depression, it was our dad who helped us (despite not knowing the full concept behind mental health). The only exception was from january-early march of 2023, where i'd gone through a break-up and was getting treated like trash by the ex and feeling depressed as a result, most of which i managed to work through myself with sibling support and keeping myself distracted, knowing my mum would just be dismissive or make things worse (i also didn't have a proper emotional connection with my dad then). Worst 9 weeks of my life, hands down. In all seriousness, i will take this video as parenting tips ready for when i eventually become a parent myself
I don't feel comfortable telling anything to my parents,including my grandma,my mother,and my dad. They always either don't care,or blame it on me. Internet is honestly one of the only things that make my life happier for now
The fact that I could have almost 3 to 4 paragraphs of a vent, or hell maybe even a 5 vent paragraphs about how my life is right now while being 16 is insane, along with the fact that These signs are the ones I've been and had experienced with my parents. They aren't abusive I think, but their parenting skills are interesting. Maybe I need to make a google doc vent just to see how bad things really are and how much im just accepting things and acting like everything is normal.