The lies our culture tells us about what matters --- and a better way to live | David Brooks
Our society is in the midst of a social crisis, says op-ed columnist and author David Brooks: we're trapped in a valley of isolation and fragmentation. How do we find our way out? Based on his travels across the United States -- and his meetings with a range of exceptional people known as "weavers" -- Brooks lays out his vision for a cultural revolution that empowers us all to lead lives of greater meaning, purpose and joy.
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I was fortunate enough to have seen this talk in-person and I walked out of that room with chills and a different perspective of life.
The take-away from your comment is that we are a society trained to obey We are not free
"If nobody's ever loved you, do you think you can be a good father?" Oh man that broke my heart.
C Wilton I’ll say it. I teared up at that.
When he asked that question, he took the first step forward towards healing himself
@@kellenwillett8263 me too.
I was destroyed at that moment.
I just started weeping at that
"Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two." Gorgeous
Agape
Brent Scheihagen Look for a poem or the song “Believe me if all those endearing young charms”. It reflects this same sentiment beautifully. I sang it for my wife at our wedding party. 🙏
That love exists in the Universe is one of its most deepest and strangest of mysteries.
We are one... together💖
@@tuvantrader omg thanks for introducing us this gem 😍
"Pain that is not transformed gets transmitted" If you get hurt, don't kick the can down the road, take responsibility, show maturity. Transform
Brandon Jones very strong statement! Will take it as a backbone!
easier said than done
Kick the can AND transform---I love to "kick the can" as it were, while I walk my dogs!
This too takes realization, deep soul searching... and understanding... Are we ready ?? Then shift 🤗
Right on.
I love it when I hear TED talks like this because it gives me hope that society will awaken to its self inflicted suffering and move forwards.
Khalid...I respect your concern for society. I wish I could agree with your hopes. I have acquired a lot of knowledge about human behavior. What I hear (and it all sounds so great) on many of these informative videos makes so much sense. But I have spent my time among the public multitasking and simply observed and listened very closely to what so many people say and do. Trying to teach most of them, basic proven simple truths, is constantly both frustrating yet fascinating. Most of them simply verify what proven, time tested, clinical studies about humans proved. They are way too narrow minded and can't even be taught even simple fact based truths with only one mathematically proven answer. Naturally, people will challenge my conclusion by claiming I have no proof I am right. This is a perfect example of how little they know about proven testing methods that insure a very high degree of accuracy. These obscure videos get less than .01% of viewership of the usual junk that the major media loves to report on over and over. It's all about figuring out what's not being reported on that is absolutely happening. This takes many years to just begin to become competent at learning.
are you sure about that. watch the TED talks where they say pedophilia should be socially accepted. SERIOUS< look it up. its on youtube
From your lips to God’s ears
tom colopy www.google.com/amp/s/blog.ted.com/tedx-talk-under-review/amp/
I agree, Khalid. Well said.
“Rape is not just an attack on a bunch of physical molecules, it’s an attempt to insult another persons soul.” Ugh, I felt that deep in my soul.
I hope your ok ? Stay well .
I’m ok and still here, because being brave works.
@@sarahsuero You poor thing I'm so sorry to hear that . If you ever need someone to talk to I'm here .
Yup we either become victims or survivors. It is so unfair, though.
I am so sorry to hear that Selestine. Stay strong sweetheart.
Bravo David Brooks. Empathy - Understanding - Connection is the core of a joyful life. A higher and more glorious life.
I never knew my father other than I was afraid of him. He never really came back from WWII, except as a shell of a man. I may have overcompensated a bit, but my son who is 32 now is my friend.
Awww so happy you were able to overcome that, beautiful
I am glad to hear what you have lost in your father you found in your son. My respects for raising such a son sir
My father was a WWII Marine vet. I don't think society helped them, or knew what PTSD was then. He was extremely Intelligent, but an awful angry, explosive person. My mom developed her own issues staying with him. I put myself through lots of therapies in my 20's, and didn't have a child until I was 30.
People who went through war seen too much pain. Something we can never understand. I hope your father is in peace now
This made me bawl. My dad was a WW2 Vet too. My uncle told me he was never the same after going to war. He was angry all the time. Was incapable of showing love. Growing up all we ever saw was a miserable man who never let his protective wall down. I know this is why I hv never been able to express my love towards anyone especially a man. I hv hurt too many men, bc they feel I do not love them. I am cold, not affectionate. I hv turned into my father.
“If no one has ever loved you, can you still be a great father?”-that’s when I busted into tears
Dang that one hit me too. Hard
Same.
Yeah.
@Rashmi Jain better not to be loved that to be tortured
I thought I was replying to the main post from Garciela
This is probably one of the finest ted talks on this plattform.
At the end of this Ted Talk one word remained in my head. Replay. 💯❤👏👏
@John Fritz Nah, we don't need more evangelism.
Boy isn't that the truth... Touche!
Watch ted talk..kill your bucket list...=
Listening to this made me weep, I am not the only person that feels this. Peace.
Me too and thank you for saying so
Oh, me too... first time in months I have felt a glimmer of hope. Funny how some people show up with a message you need to hear just when you’re finally ready to hear it. I’ll figure out what’s been eating at my soul. I know I’m close. And then I’ll go out there and REALLY make a difference...🙏
Me three. Puts my whole life of depression and 13 years' bankruptcy in perspective. Stay broken open so my soul's yearning can take root.
because he talked from this soul
We're in this together
You know when you are hearing wisdom. It makes you stop and it gives you chills. Thank you David Brooks.
You are one of a fortunate few! Especially to have such a visceral experience to alert you! Sadly, most do NOT know when they are hearing wisdom and it slips by without acknowledgement. Although the answers to our problems and questions are available and presented to us; we usually fail to recognize them as such and cry out in despair declaring that God has forsaken us and/or the world is out to get us.
Poor David. He is lost and unable to save his own soul.
Absolutely! It was the same for me. I don't think anyone that puts the effort to understand what he's saying won't feel this. :-)
@@DJJonPattrsn22brilliantly put!
People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Be good anyway. Honesty and frankness will make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway. People need help, but may attack you if you try to help them. Help them anyway. In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway. - Mother Teresa
where you hear intrepiation in a voice the speaker has moved emotional mountains to share their truths, Thank you David Brooks
He is genius and amazing
What's intrepiation? Not in the dictionary. Typo?
@@hijodelaisla275 might have been trepidation
This absolutely cuts to the core. This message should be heard over and over again if we are to emerge from the darkness that is enveloping the world, particularly in the West. Have you ever noticed the beautiful Innocence of people from other places who focus their lives on family, friends, and neighbors? They will die far happier than anyone who devoted their lives to getting that next promotion or buying that bigger house.
You got that right! Everything is temporary. You don't take that bigger house or promotion. You take with you the love that you gave & received. When you pass, you won't be taking a U-Haul with you.
6:37 "The heart yearns for fusion with another, and the soul yearns for righteousness" - THAT is one of the most beautiful and most powerful things I've heard in my life.
Y6060h
It's also pop psychology.
@ALFONSO FRIJIO One can only understand from the viewpoint at which they stand.
@@sarahjaynewilkes3604 Believe me, even though I am not English, I understand what the speaker says. Surely, the talk is worthy of praise, but not because of the statement pointed out by the comment I replied to.
So much to unpack in this talk. I'll have to watch it few more times. We need to rebuild families and communities.
@B.T. 333 Yeah, feminism being the biggest threat of them all!!!
or rebuild society, genetically
@@sylwia0123 biggest threat is overpopulation that numberise people into units,feminism is nothing but a reaction to an ill.
@@ericscaillet2232 sarcasm, that was sarcasm
@B.T. 333 It is having the courage to be yourself, and love others where they are at, where you are at. Not creating blame out there but starting within to expand possibilities
I live alone in a rural area. I like being alone most of the time. I know where to find people when I need them. I am alone but not lonely.
I think that's different. A certain kind of loneliness in the correct state of mind can be very much enjoyed. But only you could know this for sure, if when you ask yourself the question of are you choosing this loneliness because this is what you truly desire in the depth of your heart, or do you feel like you're running away from something? If it's the latter then you have some work to do toward healing, and whichever it is, I wish you good health and happiness. God bless.
Living alone in a rural area would probably terrify me - but then you can feel very alone in a large city.
I love being alone. I love having the whole bed to myself and having the remote to myself. I hate having to put up with stupid people. I fell sorry for people who need the approval of others to value themselves. There are many people who agree with you Connie. Thoreau would never have thought of Civil Disobedience if he had stayed around other people. I never feel loneliness because the world is full of so many marvels which you can only see if you separate yourself from the noise of other people.
You Cat! You Catwoman!! I bet you like cats...
Connie. I think it’s a lot easier for a woman to be alone and live alone than for a man. It’s a totally different thing.
This man was terrified to talk to us. I"m so proud of him.
I have a sticker on my computer that goes with me everywhere, "Speak up even if your voice shakes". That would be me, too.
This man is a regular on national shows like Meet the Press. Why would he be terrified of this? I think it's just how he always sounds.
@@moderoy Vulnerability
Are you serious? David Brooks is a despicable lying right wing scumbag
@@J.M.-nb4gw I've never heard of this man before this video and all I heard was deep truths. All people are capable of change.
“If We Do Not Transform Our Pain, We Will Most Assuredly Transmit It” Richard Rohr
"If no one has ever loved you, do you think that you can be a good father?" That was one deep, sad question.
Instant heartbreak
Yes. Great that you recognize its importance. It was the one that caused me to cry out loud. My children had often told me that I loved the other child more but they got by....and my son turned out to be the best father on the face of the Earth, paying for all his daughter's college and everything involved in her path to Registered Nurse so she faces the future debt free. My daughter has not had children. We are all closer today than we were five years ago due to my refusal to react with hurt at the snide comments tossed my way by both of my children from time to time. I knew they were coming from the the disassociated nature we had entered into because of the demands of the culture to hustle every minute of our lives just to keep our heads above the poverty line. So of course, the children felt a bit neglected. But they grew strong nevertheless. We have made it to a stage where all the petty complaints to the parents (of which I am the only one left) have been abandoned. This was a great speech. It touched many levels emotionally.
Obesity, opioid addiction, high divorce rates, what has the west gained from exploitation? The rich who are behind government don’t spare their own. In such a society how can there be any love? Every rich westerner once they become rich come to east for enlightenment but can’t see the mirror.
@Climate C. Heretic I think you didn´t get the message. It is not about blame, but about making the best out of it - despite all. But maybe i am missing the point too :)
My father was born right after the war and his mother had to give him away because they have lost everything in the war. He grew up in an orphanage where love was never present. I must tell you that he was the most loving father and husband. In ways that i can not explain, we were poor but happy, but that for me was normal, until i grew up and i saw that not all fathers were like mine. I am an educated adult now and i can tell you 100% that love is inside us. Unless a man suffers some kind of sick abuses in childhood that severely broke him on the inside, that man can be a great father.
One of the ABSOLUTE BEST segments of Ted Talks I have had the pleasure of watching. LESSON 1: NEVER put things ahead of people. LESSON 2: I once asked a co worker how he was doing. His answer ranged from how he just bought a new boat, his cottage up north, his new lawn mower, ect... and I thought to myself "I didnt ask you about them things, I wanted to know how are YOU?" STOP defining yourself and others by how much money you or they have, how big their bank account is, how expensive their home is, ect. It is childish, assinine , self defeating and besides- with all the day to day struggles everyone goes thru, who really gives a crap?
Yes it true what you told
Made me shed a tear...😢
Same. This is powerful, encouraging, and send a strong message to those amidst suffering and trials in their life.
AlexLordAlcyone Agree 100%. But you can pay your bills AND still have room for smiles and compassion for others. Just have to accept working either less hours or less money for a lower standard of living for yourself. Sounds like you are not there ; Everyone has different limits.
In short you want others to think and be just like you, because you are always right ...
"To be rooted is perhaps the most basic and most unrecognized need of the human soul." Simone Weil
I’m 38 wow it’s like the friendships that are supposed to be long lasting, changed and as soon as there is a difference in opinion the relationship is gone. Let’s change that and start loving relationship for life. All we have to do is forgive for the wrong, understand, reach out to each other Especially in times of need I can make a difference between a better day or the worst day for people. I’m taking a stand to love and love hard for humanity 💯💯😉😍
@BMWMD1 - Most interesting comment I’ve seen on any thread. And I must say that I agree with your last sentence. However, I’m curios, how you would you feel if all the Giants were traded to the Cowboys?
Depends what the “opinion” is. If it is an attack on other peoples souls, it’s doubtful you’ll find relationship in that. Maybe examine what it is you are going your “beliefs” to. There is a lot of people using beliefs to simulate belonging instead of relationships to have real belonging. Don’t give up on people, keep trying to relate. 🤍
the most nervous and vulnerable I have ever seen Mr. Brooks, there's courage there...you don't see much of that amongst his favored political party.
Michael Schneider ...no Sir, you do not! Beagle lover here🥰
Speaking from the actual heart we each have is what is sorely needed now these days. Bravo Mr. Brooks.
went through the desert
David Brooks loses his soul when he talks about the Palestinians.
@@pakpala1 disagree
David, I often read your column in the NYT, some times agree sometimes not. But you opened your heart to us all and in that you opened my heart to the possibilities of joy. Thank you.
You all need some Latinos in your life. We will hug you, feed you and ask you about your day without even knowing you. It really is a cultural thing sometimes. It's so cold and lonely in the states sometimes... a lot of times. People get freaked out if I treat them the same way I would treat people back home. Over here if you try to help an old lady put her groceries in her car she thinks you are hing to steal from her. Here if you hug a guy hello and good bye he thinks you have a crush on him. Heck, even if you go volunteer at a place more than twice people start to treat you like if you were being paid to be there and start giving you ... poo. I invite all of those who can to travel and experience other cultures because this guy is right.
Nory-Chan so true!!! Everyday all the time even if we see each other more than once in a day. I have taught my kids that this Latino greeting shows you value, honor, and respect the person in front of you! It shows you are open to a relationship of friendship and does show vulnerability. We do get hurt sometimes from it but when it works...it lights souls on fire! Life long relationships!
There’s a lot of truth in that
I was born and raised in the US, but am now married to a Latina from Peru; I finally understand what family really is and how I can be a better version of myself because of it.
@Fred Wright , no but I feel like I should tell you that it's Sotomayor as in SotoMayor. I have 2 last names. My name is Normaris Gonzalez Tosado, nice to meet you.
@@Norimarisu This is only half true. The extremes in Latin countries and South East Asian and African countries is more common, mostly due to poverty. Some people treat each other better as they rely on each other and others commit horrible crimes every day and get away with it due to widespread corruption, something western countries don't have to deal with as much. There is an abundance of everything so people are far more indifferent to each other. As Latin countries change in wealth so will the culture.
interesting. I did a project on Brooks in one of my english classes- we had to pick a columnist who was of the opposite political party as our own. He was listed as moderate conservative, and I come from a liberal city, family, and background, so I chose him. As I read his articles, though, I felt something resonate in me. His writings spoke truths. Anyways, now I’m an avid Brooks reader and I really applaud his vulnerability in this TED talk.
Communication, is a complex process, with the self it is a set of living experiences that is not a choice. Yet, to still have woke within the idea of choice, the idea of understanding forever changing. Thinking about "choice" did any "one" "choose" to be born? Is it a choice "who" "we" are raised with? What resources are available to guarantee the best possible outcome. The idea of Understanding when applied to choice is as complex and basic as reconciling the actual nature of choice to that of understanding. Given the complexity inherent to the specific understanding of the context of choice to the context of understanding, contrast must be developed to understand the way that these two ideas might be informing one another in sets of relationships determined by the definitions used to frame the relitive relationships of the two ideas. The ideas are so complex as to need to have multiple bifurcation of definition to alow the use of context for contrast of the structures that underpin these ideas. The complex communication inherent to a specific context of real relationship will be defined both as an individual ie: "Definition for Individual" and "The fundamental endosymbiotic relationship in context to the evolution of the environment vs: the assorted understandings and approaches to represented relationships in structures of relationships informed by relationships understood." "Choice" then can be understood with context.. first it must be understood that the majority of context that allows for the facts of life are beyond choice. To understand the possible implications of having choice only in narrow frameworks that are built on larger frameworks with little choice. What is the relationship of- "Choice" and "Enviroment" "Enviroment" a nd "Behavior" "Behavior" and "Choice" how these ideas are "defined" or structured develops the inter-linking ideas that become the framework or frameworks for how one can understand the complexity to understand "choice". Is understanding "choice"? "Behavior"? "Enviroment"? What is your understanding with this proposed framework? Jason M. Decker
Sofia R 😀 I have listened to/watched him for years on NPR and only here learned him to be a “conservative”. He is one of my favorites. Talking in a studio with colleagues while sitting behind a table is VERY DIFFERENT from standing on stage in front of hundreds of strangers. I slowed down the playback a few times. Now will play again at the normal speed. 🌞♥️
He is a moderate conservative, which is not a very welcome political alignment anywhere today. Yet he has always spoken the same truths and ideals. When moderate liberals speak like that, it's hard to tell the difference. David Brooks will always listen and reply intelligently. There are many other conservatives who are very far to the right who also talk like this. Far-right doesn't mean more like our president. (That's a concept that bugs David Brooks to no end.) Far-right is a completely rational political philosophy that simply isn't practiced much these days. It's as valid as far-left, and there was a time when people found it easy to talk to people who were poles apart politically.
@@beenaplumber8379 plz elaborate on what u mean by "far right" & btw, i don't think many of the ppl who r trying to pass themselves off as "conservatives" r that in any meaningful way. some r crypto-fascists (lou dobbs, rush limbaugh, dennis praeger et al) & some r just business ppl (tucker carlson, sean hannity, alex jones et al). in any case, what is this "Far-right 'with' a completely rational political philosophy" of which u speak?
@@babagalacticus That's a tricky question. I recognize that left and right are usually used nowadays (in the US anyway) as shorthand for people we don't like. My easiest reply is to give an example, like George Will. He is a brilliant man with great integrity, as far as I know (with an ego to match), and he does not take a position without sound conservative ideology to support it. (I would describe myself as a liberal constitutionalist.) I guess by far right, I mean people who take conservative ideology farther than is politically expedient. The ideology is more important than winning political office with compromises to the centrists. They are not religious nuts or fascists, but people who value freedom and prosperity, and believe it or not, equality. Most whom I've met (and been friends with) are good, careful listeners and well-reasoned in their political arguments. Those people you named are all reality TV stars IMO, except Rush Limbaugh, who does reality radio. They all have the sole priority of boosting ratings to make money. Not one of them is paid to be a thoughtful journalist. (I confess, I don't know who Dennis Praeger is.)
As a 40-year old living in an apartment, having lost all of those I hold dear - this sure rings true.
That is a tough age as it is
Been there. It's painful, but transformative. Be patient with yourself.
That’s exactly what you said! Same here.
Whats the story behind ur sorrows !
This too shall pass
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." - J. Krishnamurti
Beautiful. Thank you.
Just reading krishnamurti books now,he certainly makes you think!!
Truth be told the soul of America was sold out to the corporate interests long time ago. Materialism is the ebb and flow and it makes people soul less zombies.....I refuse to play that game anymore ~
The Consumer economy, mindless consuming. BB
let's create a better way.
Yes yes and yes
@@wwayne2318 fighting is losing
@@MichaelDarlingCo Better lose than encourage that behavior.
I appreciate the fact that you tried to squeeze a life long message in 15 minutes. There is so much that needs to be opened up in every 5 seconds of your speech. Thank you sir for delivering the message for better humanity.
Yes!!
Even in my deep seated liberalism I have always found Davids perspectives valuable. He transcends ideology: a true value to our society.
He's teaching slave morality, which is rooted in ideology.
He's always been earnest, and honest with himself.
It took me becoming disabled and trapped in my house and my mind to let me see these truths and I feel lucky.
What happened that made you disabled?
Artizan I went into something called status epilepticus which means that I was in and out of seizures for over 20 minutes but the woman that was with me when it happened went into shock and didn’t tell anyone about how serious it was for over 2 weeks. Ironically, I had to cover her shifts because she was out due to stress. Anyway, I ended up with some irreversible brain damage and a previously unidentified mitochondrial disease came to the surface sooooo, now I sleep about 12-18 hours a day and lay around like a vegetable when I’m awake but I’m seriously lucky because I have someone to take care of me and I’m not in any pain so that’s a bit of a win 👌
@@MissBlueEyeliner I'm sorry you had to go through that and thank you for sharing. I'm glad you still have your optimism as that's what makes life worth living.
Congrats. That's illumination.
Stay Strong, Bianca is a beautiful name
As a life long Liberal Dem from Kennedy country, New England, this is a conservative I can like! The last decent one was the late great war hero five star General during WW2, President Dwight Eisenhower, aka a "RINO" i.e. Republican In Name Only like the late great four star General Colin Powell, aka a "RINO"! Compassion and empathy go a long way for those less fortunate and for all of us especially in hard times like now. Thanks for another great TedX talk, much appreciated and loved David's brilliant in depth article in the Atlantic on the nuclear family! A must read, profound! ❤
One of the best and rich TED talks i have ever heard.
"If nobody's ever loved you, can you still be a good father?" That story made me cry.
Me too
felt that aswell
Tears to my eyes
Jacob Opstad me too!!
+Jacob Opstad That was a great line (bad way of putting it) and the answer is a definite YES. I can only speak from second hand experience but the right person can take that lack of love, that wanting to be loved, and transfer it as love to the child, making the child incredibly loved. It all depends on the person, not whether they've been loved or not.
"If happiness is what you're after, you're going to be disappointed more times than not. But joy is different... joy is a constant."
True, although I personally contend that "meaning" would be a more appropriate goal that even joy.
David Brooks, you are such a beautiful soul!
I've seen David Brooks for many years, and I can honestly say that I completely misjudged the man. That was incredibly deep, raw, and powerfully personal.
Keep in mind that Brooks is now the culmination of his life experience. Brooks was not the man he is today 10 years ago. Are you? He went through a difficult divorce, among other things, and it led him to these great realizations.
And yet he goes on defending the kind of forces, that puts fragmented traumatized individuals in the valleys, a GOP Party,for example, and a kind of 'conservative approach that conserves nothing.while also studying this so ardently what is there and what is missing at the core of much of human behavior. . A conflicted person full of denial about many things, yet willing to look and see other and surprisingly related things!
@@bettinazwerdling9158 Yes, he's a man of contradictions. Politically, he's lost, searching for a conservatism that no longer exists in the U.S. He's best hopping in bed with progressive liberals and other humanitarians.
@@bettinazwerdling9158 I think that is because there is no winning when you divide.
Political wonks are rarely willing to talk WITH others who see the world differently. They are conditioned to, and encouraged and rewarded for talking AT those labeled “the enemy.” I, a Liberal, would love to be this man’s friend and talk with him. O, what we share diminishes our differences!
“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.” (Meditations, Marcus Aurelius)
Okba Cherboub Did he really say that? Make sense.
And the quality of the people you keep. I like that question bit. Higher quality questions. Like heres some cool stuff. There’s water on the sun Your body is made from Stardust 4.5 billion years old. There is only one color pigment that makes all eye colors. It’s the concentration layers and refractions. The grass is not green. The grass is EVERY COLOR BUT GREEN AND ITS REFLECTED OFF. WHAT ever color you see. It’s not that color and reflecting off. When you lose weight. 80% of your weight is lost through your lungs as co2. 20% sweat pee energy It takes a single photon 40,000 years to move out of the sun but 8 minutes to reach earth. A pound of feathers is heavier than a pound of gold. By 4 oz. how many grooves does a 45 record have. Many people guess 70 grooves. Wrong. Only ONE GROOVE GOING AROUND AND AROUND AND AROUND. SO if I asked you how many grooves on a 45. You’d say one. WRONG. U FORGOT SIDE B. FLIPSIDE 2. 2 grooves. No 4. The songs slang is called a groove. Love this groove man. 4. 4 grooves
Thank you, David, for reminding us that living a successful life has very little, if anything, to do with our vocation.
David! Good to see you off the pundit stool. I got "distracted" from my career once. The weaver call took me 12 years to get out of Nashville. 1st, the Music Biz needed me. Then, a bunch of homeless drunks and junkies needed me. Burnt out after starting a dozen halfway homes, I got back on the Troubadour road. Ready to die (IPF), camping in the forest, near Sedona, an MD from Germany grabbed my hand. 11 years into a bleak prognosis that would have me buried like 50,000 IPF patients yearly, I sojourn on. After starting a halfway home in Sedona, I finally got back to my avocation as a singer songwriter in time to realize my goal of songwriter success. Like your experience, I am no longer alone, tho. Country and rock legends helped me make better records than I could have independently. I'm nearly incapacitated finally from IPF. Love, caring friends and a reconnecting with my family are the surprises waiting beside catastrophic failures. I didn't know how alone I was until failure compelled me to take the hands ready to help my Divinity awaken.
I’m a fan of David Brooks, and have been for a long time. I sometimes disagree with his columns, but still I find him very likable. This TED talk is one of his best pieces.
Reminds me of my first acid trip ! When I realized how phoney we are as a culture , and how good it felt to wash off the plastic ! Many never arrive at the place where he is at now. Our place is to absorb some of his pain as a collective and show love that he's trying to share with us !
David Brooks, what a heart felt talk. Thank you for your courage and your heart for people.
What a beautiful man... I hope more people could take a second to listen to what he has to say, so much truth and honesty to explain the social and cultural black hole we are living in.
Whoa! Just brilliant this! Second time today I’ve teared up with the intensity of Brooks’s bravely vulnerable, poignant writing and delivery.
David Brooks (not to forget his PBS colleague Mark Shields) has always been a favorite. A lot of wisdom in his remarks - so much so that I cannot help but believe that those who think and live only for themselves become corrupt by the company they keep.
@Michael I do not share your opinion, Michael. Mark's speech can be, at times, halting, but his perspective is often more sagacious than vacant. Be well.
I watch David Brooks weekly on PBS. Lately I’ve noticed a change in his commentary. This talk explains that change.
Shaun Browne - Ditto!!!
David Brooks has been unable to adapt to the political sphere since Donald Trump was elected President. Yeah, I was hoping Brooks would be sent out to pasture and replaced by a pundit who would challenge Mark Shields in point/counterpoint discussions.
@@SteveTheFazeman I am thrilled for David Brooks - his so-called "inability to adapt to the political sphere" has made him such a better person. I, too, have watched him for years - and I'm so happy that the snippy, sarcastic self-absorbed know-it-all that was David Brooks is no more. He is now living as a human being - not a pundit. I hope the same for you, my friend.
@@phyllisfrierson5402, The whole point to the Shields and Brooks segment is to have a point/counterpoint discussion based on Judy Woodruff's questions. Because Brooks is no longer an effective pundit to counter Shields, he needs to step down so that a strong pundit can step in and challenge Shields. You said that you watched the show for years. Obviously, you value the opinions of political pundits.
Shields has moved to the center, also. It's like an echo chamber. I wish they could get two respectful pundits to give both sides, but, in today's political climate, you're liable to just get a Democrat vs a trumper. There's no one else left on the right side. All the real republicans have bailed.
Over the course of my journey towards "fulfillment" I have watched many, many TED Talks about joy, relationships, self-discovery, and personal values, but man oh man does this one take the cake. So much covered in 15 minutes.
I was never impressed with David before. I'm amazed and happy to see who he really is! Ted talk showed me a really good part of David!
David Brooks is the political analyst from the Right whom I love to hear and trust. But now, I know a part of him I had not before, he is a tremendous and genuine human being. Let's go David!!!!!!
Bad delivery. But my dad learned in the military, to not listen to how someone says something, but to what they are saying. Same goes here. Look past the stuttering and anxiety, listen to his words. He knows what I wish every human being knew.
Great delivery. He's not making a a sales pitch, he's sharing his heart. PowerPoint and polished patter wouldn't help much, there... I'm very much listening to how he is saying what he's saying. His gentle fear of self-exposure. His gentle courage to overcome it , and test his convictions in front of others.
@@rbettsx he stutters alot. That is bad delivery. If you speak in public you should not be stuttering like that. Who cares if its a sales pitch. He has something really inportant to say. And HE IS advertising his organization. That being said, I dont think it matters much. Like I said, what matters most to me is what he said, not how he said it. But i can still objectively say, it was poorly delivered.
"I can make myself happy." Absolutely true, I can make myself happy, but a good job, losing more weight, doing yoga, etc. won't necessarily make me happy in and of themselves. The lie in that statement is the implication that happiness is a destination I get to and hang out at for a while. Happiness, like other emotions, is a controllable response to external stimuli based on my own expectations. It isn't meant to last forever, and I think it's important not to be happy all the time. "Will [X] make me happy?" No, it won't, but my expectations surrounding it, combined with the outcome I obtain from following it, very well might.
He meant alone.
... psychological word games
So much truth in those words. So much to relate to. I needed to hear this.
Wow! I know David Brooks as this conservative and that is the limited lens through which I have always judged him. And I have seen him in interviews and in this talk am left wondering who is this person because this person is amazing, compassionate, and he hugs. This talk brought tears of joy and gratitude to my eyes. And the lens through which I have seen him in the past has widened and is clearer.
Money isn't everything, but lack of it is.
It depends on the society you live in. People in rural Siberia or any other secluded area are quite poor from our perspective but they're often happier. It's expectations that decide how content you are.
Well, in this western society game, sadly: Amen to your statement.
The scarcity tunnel- when in need, we can't see beyond the resource that we need. Loneliness, lack of time, and lack of lack money are all common causes of the scarcity mindset.
@@Dionyzos Yeah, where are you writing this from? Rural Siberia or Starbucks?
@@raccoons_stole_my_account It doesn't matter. I have relatives in rural Russia and visited them a few times. They're very happy with the few things they possess.
I have always respected David Brooks for his insights, and this talk (also see his book, "The Second Mountain") is great. However, I see one problem that he does not address. At the end of the talk he said, "A small group of people found a better way to live and the rest of us copy them." The problem is that changing to this mode of living requires sacrifice and work; it doesn't simply happen by on day saying, "I've changed." Many people (American's in particular) are simply too lazy to change. They're so mired down in their disfunction that they can't make a change. It seems to me that finding a way to reach down and pull people out of that life is the challenge.
This Ted Talk has help me so much with the desperation I have felt with this pandemic. The detachment that I feel from isolation has made me very aware that I am not in this environment alone. I am on the road to being broken open. Hoping that the person to pull me up out of broken is soon to be in my future.
Dignity, Integrity - Respect. Thank you David.
I've gotten to know David Brooks on PBS' Friday analysis. My goodness, the man's got heart. I was really moved by his words. Bless us all and our journeys.
Thank you for this Ted talk... absolutely beautiful and so relevant. I’m lonely and sad and working toward becoming a weaver.
This is an example of what good KZhead can do. More please.
David, Your encounter on Ted ,thru KZhead is perfect.
I resonated with this so much and was hooked right from the start!! What a brilliant and pertinent speech, delivered with eloquence and vulnerability . I’m a Millennial (32 y.o) living in the UK. Community is SO important ~ Covid-19 has accentuated the importance of this. I particularly loved what he said about difference between happiness and joy towards the end. Definitely one of the best TED talks I’ve ever watched. Thank you Mr Brooks!!
The honesty here is beautiful. The fact that life is one movement is just that a fact. We have created divisions where none actually exist, liberal and conservative are the division's.
So why do humans construct these artificial (separateness)?
@@michaelgilbertsr3107 I think that humanity has taken a wrong turn. The wrong turn is manifesting through the self, the self is a way for us to interface with our environment, human thought has made this self "the center" and it really isn't. My observation is that what I call myself arises in thought,.other than that self except for the need to interface has no actual existence. This is not a new idea of course the Buddhist have made this notion of self quite clear. dungteller.com is my blog. What do you think?
@@dungteller367 you should read Freud's book on the matter "civilization and its discontents"
@@Sqlut I will
@@dungteller367 , (I) is the result of the need to feel. (We) is the result of accepting OUR interconnectedness. It's not easy, partly because humans are inherently selfish. Ignoring the inherent manifestation for love, we substitute a multitude of failings instead.
Moral motivations and empathy requires true democracy and true community - we have a long way to go to achieve those, and they cannot be achieved by rich people throwing money at poor people. Make it so that there are NO MORE poor people - it might require having a little LESS WEALTH and luxury than you now have, David Brooks. It's great that you have the time (a luxury) to meditate and work on your understanding of self & humanity. Make it so that nobody is POOR IN AMERICA! Then you may feel good about yourself as a person. Revolution means sacrifice. I hope you will produce the revolution along with all your billionaire friends.
Although I completely agree about isolation and the need to see it as our main problem, I don’t believe that exercising your skills is not fulfilling. Much of my happiness in life comes from that.
Mr Brooks has reminded me of something I lost. Living in a shelter for 3 years you earned a key and access to the back gate. I would exit the back gate every M-F to go to work. As I walked I would thank God for the warm jacket, the fact that my huge body could walk to the bus stop, that my belly was full. As I walked I made eye contact with anyone that made eye contact with me. You see for me to walk those 2 blocks to the bus stop the smell of urine was strong. I am sure you can imagine what I saw. And one day as I was saying "Hi" a gentleman told me that I was the only one that speaks to him all day. If you haven't learned anything or remembered anything from this TED talk? Please remember the simple act of saying "Hi".
Mai: There are places in the nation where people greet each other as they pass. There are other places in the nation where people pass in silence. When we are in one of those places where silence is the custom, we can change the place by greetings. About 1 in 1000 strangers will react with hostility. Most others will greet or chat on invitation.
@@crusindc5282 sadly that man was the only one that responded. The people I passed . . I felt they were so deep in misery that did not know how to respond. I kept saying "hi", not expecting anything in return, not wanting to break through but just responding to what I saw. My response has taught me many things on many levels about myself. There are so many juxpositions in our daily lives.
@@maibritton2882 You deserved better.
@@crusindc5282 I don't want to blow the empathy but don't you think deserving is similar to I or anyone "expecting" to be treated a certain way? I have learned to be accountable. Just like Mr. Brooks I have struggled with being alone and lonely. Am I making any sense?
Well that is also called universal law
I have enjoyed Shields and Brooks for many years and love the balanced approach to politics you both give, so I'm not totally surprised but I am deeply appreciative that you have 'shown up' like this. You appear completely open and vulnerable and honest - one of the bravest talks I have ever seen. It has moved me to do better, thank you so much.
The Life of David Gale: "What it means to be fully human is to strive to live by ideas and ideals and not to measure your life by what you've attained in terms of your desires but those small moments of integrity, compassion, rationality, even self-sacrifice. Because in the end, the only way that we can measure the significance of our own lives is by valuing the lives of others"
THANK YOU DAVID, for the truths you have been promoting for a number of years now! An important point we also need to make is that the lies of capitalist America start by NOT valuing SOCIAL WELFARE - the realities of human needs. We must commit to having everyone be well - health care, housing, food security and nutritional value, environmental safety, real equity in ALL types of JUSTICE, clean air and water, access to as much competent education as they care to use, beautifying our common spaces ( which reduces stress for all) and so forth. In my view, ONLY THEN will America, perchance, be a society worthy of global respect and admiration!
Married 26 years, wife and I out walking the dog's today and our hand's brushed. Then we held hands for a while, still fills me with a feeling of joy. I am a very lucky man.
Thank you for stepping out of your comfort zone and sharing your experience, thoughts, and wisdom for such a time as this. Been in the wilderness.
I'm a big fan of this man, watched him on PBS Newshour for years and appreciated his insights, and his humanity. He's perhaps one of the most honest journalists out there, not a Republican partisan but a pragmatic, unbiased political pundit who spoke from the heart, a truly smart man and a great human being. Thank you, David for all you do and please continue, we love to hear from you.
I've always loved David Brooks for his political commentary, but this might be the most impact full TedTalk I've seen. Thank you. Yes, joy...joy is the heart singing for everyone in your community. I'm blessed to live in such a community, and blessed again to be as connected to it as I feel.
Thank you for sharing this side of yourself, David. Beautiful.
You could hear the emotion in his voice. I'm glad he's more than just a political pundit.
@@davidm5707 Also, you can tell he's not really a public speaker. He's trembling and a bit nervous. But for me, this vulnerability is what makes him more authentic and relatable. He's not just a talking head on TV. I always liked his political analyses on PBS but this makes me appreciate him more.
@@utubefreshie I liked him too, because was always reasonable. Him, and David Gergen.
Profoundly honest and powerful.
What a beautiful, heartfelt message.
Sincere comments. Surprisingly and paradoxically, once the self dissolves, everything is enough. Finding the path to how to, is one's challenge and education.
Wow, so much packed in to 15 minutes. Need to take time to digest. Eye opening and soul deepening.
Beautiful man, beautiful message! David Brooks, I sincerely hope that you come and read this and remember for the next time that we're all on your side buddy!!
I love watching David every Friday on PBS news. He's so awesome.
Sort of a lying political shill. Like the world doesn't have enough of those.
The best Republican ever seen or hear, Im totally Independent
Mark Shields makes David better
@@rafo54 LOL he is and denounces Trump because he is so honest. Sometimes we can believe in a thing but not the leader of said thing. We have to make choices. I did too. This guy is smart.
@@FathomlessJoy What an appropriate (disguised) name you use. Sad.
I've admired David Brooks for his opinions on PBS News Hour, so I thought I would like to hear his Ted Talk. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and truth with us. Wishing you love and joy!
The greatest lie is that owning stuff is what makes people rich. *Large Ownership = constant maintenance.* House repairs, cleaning, gardening, relationship maintenance, stress maintenance. The minimalists win by having their life simple to manage.
The things we own end up owning us
No one ever said that, except maybe people that don't have the things in life that they want.
@@nothankyou5524 He / She just said it. You don't have to agree.
There's a difference between loneliness and solitude, and people need to understand that. I prefer to be alone most of the time but I don't feel lonely. I have friends and family and although I enjoy their company very much, I _still_ prefer to be alone. Let me isolate myself if I want to, I like and _need_ my valley of isolation, and peace and quiet. Different strokes for different folks.
Yes looniness is different than solitude. The root meaning of alone is' all one" which certainly align's with what you are saying and what is being said in the talk. In looking at the world we see divisions to be an individual means that which can not be divided. I think there is an irony here in that until we understand that we are all one we can n to be true individuals. These of course are just my thoughts. Thank you for your comment.
Billie Holiday couldn't have sung it better
@Mr. Burns: Shakespeare once said that "Life is a stage and we are all actors." But acting is work, and therefore requires effort. And so much of human effort requires disconcerting self-appraisal. What he failed to conclude, perhaps in service to his belief that "Brevity is the soul of all wit", is that the acting can cease once the curtain closes. And so I prefer to live, more often than not, behind the curtain.
He wasn't talking about solitude though, was he?
"If nobody's ever loved you, do you think you can be a good father?" I think most people often forget to seriously include themselves as someone who either loves them or doesn't. You can love yourself, whether that comes naturally to you or you have to choose to learn to love yourself....even if you assume that no one else does. If you love yourself well, you can love others. And yes, I realize this video was posted a few years ago. Still true.
I hear him and understand completely. However, self-sufficiency does not have to be a negative. One must have a social safety net, surely. Social media is a terrible safety net. In-person connectivity is the safety net required in order to develop the self-sufficiency we are most certainly deserving of and capable of.
I agree. This, and the idea that freedom sucks and is only meant to find a place to put down roots and be remembered, seems off to me. Personally, if I lead a fascinating and fun life full of discovery, travels, encounters, and new experiences, and when I die literally no one remembers me, let alone a generation or so after I die, it will still have been a great life lived. I dig the rest of the talk though.
I very much respect and admire Mr. Brooks for his intellect and compassion.
david brooks, a public figure, seen here delivering a speech that makes his hands shake.
I am also surprised to see him so nervous on stage public speaking. I have seen him at other forums more confident.
It's called truth!
Bless you Brother David Brooks. I heard your Kurnhadt Interview and you have literally assisted in saving my life and those of others. You are a blessed Soul. I thank ABBA YAH♥️WEH for you. You are of surely of Agape Love Divine ♾️ I knew of you from the PBS political series but I was guilty of not perceiving you in your whole. I was greatly suprised. You are a wonderful humble and therefore powerful Spirit of Eternal Good. Blessed May you forever be. Your message reached this Brother in Kenya 🇰🇪 and I did my best to distribute your message of Love and Hope to the ones who were hurting, lonely and seeking like I am. Bless you Brother David. You surely matter.
This was one of the best TED Talks I've ever heard! The depth and feeling of true spirit!
What a wonderful self discovery. Beautiful words given to the right feelings and solutions. The people you stumbled upon are due to the fact that NOW you were out seeking it,earlier you just passed it. Love has stricken you,and what a way it did. Blessed life starts.
Wow! That was incredible. I got chills several times during this talk. I've already googled Roots of Empathy and plan to get involved. Thank you so much for sharing this video.
As someone once said, "If reading one book changes your life, you aren't reading enough".
David Brooks found himself and should be proud of who he found. Each week I look forward to hearing his take on PBS NewsHour. Tragically he speaks truth about so many fellow neighbors, friends and family. Do what might feel difficult at first, reach out to others because they also are in need of the same from others. This is the second x I have listened to this TED talk and would love if everyone would hear what David is sharing.
This resonates so much more strongly since finding God. Real purpose.
One of the best TED talks in years, well done David.
This is so inspiring. One of the best TED talks because it comes from the heart.
What a dear man. He's so right. So many of us have basically left our family members, friends, neighbors, worship communities, chasing idols. Love God, love people.
Bravo David! My absolute favorite "Ted Talks" to date. I've liked and admired your objectivity on PBS. So glad I watched this, a little late. I love you David! Thanks for your frank honest and needed message. I've been searching for these observations of our social and interelational dysfunction, it is all around us. Ill be sharing this often...to remind US! Self realization we all need to grow. Thank you very much! May we all let this sink in. May we all have, all of US joyous holidays ahead! This is a conversation starter...let US talk.