Secret To Getting Better At Talking To People
2019 ж. 22 Қар.
7 757 420 Рет қаралды
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Welcome to the BeeFriend course. In today's lesson, we're going to go over what I consider to be the fastest way to getting better at talking to other people. You can watch all the social skill/charisma videos that you want, but nothing will trump this one thing that will improve your communication skills.
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1970: We will have flying cars by 2020. 2020: How to talk to a person tutorial.
💀💀💀
Don’t dead me🤣😭
🤣🤣🤣
XD
Marcelo Velarde oooh 😬
I feel like a robot learning to be a human
thats what i always say
😂
I generally say that I feel like an alien stranded on Earth and by now I kinda get how humans behave but I can't quite pass as one.
🤣
I love your profile pic 😂 makes your comment even funnier
my problems are a) I never know what to say and b) I worry a lot about making people uncomfortable when I want to engage a conversation with a stranger
u wanna learn to bike ride, but you fear the fall (btw my english is better hearing than writing)
U just need self confidence cuz u Are Talking comments like u habe great skillss
a) just talk about the things you like, BUT if you like sports and you find yourself at an anime convention, best bet is sports isn't your talking point. It's all about common sense. Someone says/looks tired, probably not the best time to talk complicated and engaging topics, etc etc
@@elwing07 what should do when you don't know what your interest is
@@01vartikachauhan do whatever is fun - fun ideas, fun thoughts 😄
The part when he said "go out and talk to people and you'll learn what's not appropriate" stuck a chord with me. I've spent years saying inappropriate things and watching people excuse themselves from a conversation with me. It's a horrible feeling to see people backing away because I just wanted to be relatable.
I can relate to that so much and it's so hard to try again after that fail because then there's too much self doubt
As an old saying goes: Wise men learn from the mistakes of others.
okay but you definitely must've said something REALLY wrong because i'm also quite "innapropriate" but i don't make people find excuses to stop talking to me 😭
@@wreckerthegoat Maybe he was telling them that AI art is actually art.
@@wreckerthegoat bro is already in self doubt, that comment might make them feel bad but you're so right 😭😭
I always wished I could be one of those people who can make a total stranger feel comfortable talking to me
Yea but strangers r assholes all thy care about is if u have money smh
• I love Nothing but Peace ok boomer
One of the most common ways to interact with a stranger but not keep it akward is if you're asking for help with that person. This way the stranger knows you and they know you trusted them enought to ask for help which makes them likely in order to speak to you or maybe break the ice between you too. At the very least, this would make tensions between you two nonexistent and interactions a lot more smooth. The only way you'll ever see whether or not I am right is to simply do it yourself. In the end, it's only your decision and yours only.
@@stashfulton this actually sounds like a very interesting approach, I'll be sure to try it
@@jadak7714 he's not even talkin to you dude lol.
Everyone coming out of quarantine watching this to re-learn being a human
WolvePlex lmaooo
Coming out of? Washington is still in it! This whole mess won't likely be over well into next year.
Angelus_Solus true true. I live in New York so things are starting to open up for me
@@maheendhanani4044 Ugh! You jammy bugger. Lol.
Omg yes!!!
Rule no.1 listen twice as much as you talk. Silence is powerful. if in doubt, get people talking about themselves.
what rule #1 is depends on your personality type. For many people, rule #1 is to start talking at all.
i think if we continue keep this thinking ,we won't grow.
if you want to be Conan O'Brien that rule doesn't apply
For me, the hard part was silences; I was always afraid they would make me or the other person feel awkward. It really helped when I learned that awkwardness is a normal part of life and relationships, and not a problem at all. When you embrace the fact that sometimes there will be silences and awkwardness and that it is okay, talking to anyone becomes 200% easier
You've summed it up pretty well :) I've been saying since primary school - What I look for in a friend is the (both-sided) *ability to be comfortable in silence*. And honestly, sometimes that's just up to the chemistry I might or might not feel with another person. It's all "RNG" haha... Here's 1 example: I have a group of guy-friends and we've been through it all, our mothers brought us to the same parks for the first years of our lives, we joined the same kindergarden, then were the same class in the primary school, then separated a little in highschool, and studied the same profession in our separate colleges, and now work at totally different places. You'd think we were great together but honestly, I hardly ever feel comfortable when we just co-exist in our mutual silences. And I don't want to be arrogant but it's the lack of reciprocity towards my energy, most times hah. I think I used to be the "black sheep" of the group. But anyhow, to continue the thought - We know each other our entire lives, you could even say we're "best friends"... But that awkward silence is never going away. We're friends because each and every one of us TRIES and works towards that friendship, but I've had first-time meetups and conversations that had the amount of chemistry of my entire friendgroup, and then squared. Soo, yeah, RNG. Or hard work. Or both, or neither. It's all up to the individual.
@@sc3961 xd
My biggest problem isn’t that I’m shy to talk to people, I just don’t know what to say.
Same here. 😭
EXACTLY, like what do you ACTUALLY talk about??? People around me make it seem seemless but i just don’t know how and what to say?
and thats what you need to PRACTICE.
heyitsnikhil i want to practice speaking to people but in dont know what to talk about
I had this EXACT same problem a couple of years ago. I practiced by talking to people about anything. Hobbies, my plans for the day, my feelings, routines, etc. Hell, you could even go abstract and say whatever comes to your mind first. There's no wrong way to talk to people, you just have to get consistent on the flow. Making sure the conversation flows properly was my biggest flaw, but I practiced, and now I can walk up to practically anyone and just talk. It's not much, but I hope this helps.
“So just get out there and talk to more people,” My social anxiety: anyways what’s plan b
Exactly what I was thinking
Relatable
Yeah
SAME
WE CAN DO IT. EMBRACE ANXIETYYYYYyyyyy-
Me offline :- introvert online :- super extrovert
I completed the 100 interactions challenge in 13 days. Feels amazing, though most of them were people I knew, number of interactions grew slowly as I progressed. On my way to be more confident 💪
Do you have any tips of what NOT to say?
@@missmashaminothing creepy
@@missmashamiwatch the tone on how you say things to get the message across so people understand if youre joking or being serious
People blocked me on messenger. I don't recommend it
@@leunam1leunam172texts don’t Count
that moment when your life becomes so sad that you have to look up ‘how to talk to people’
Yeah......
that moment when youtube knows on its own that you cant speak with people so it keeps recommending you various how to talk to people videos, without you ever searching for it
The sad moment when this pops up on your recommended
And it has over 1 million views
@@uao2356 same with me
I can talk to people but I always feel like I'm bothering them when I'm talking to them ;-; so I don't
It sounds like you have low self esteem, find the source of that and try to sort it out, it can surely effect your social life as well
It's not your fault if you bother them. It is their fault if they feel bothered. Just say anything without much thinking
A lot of times we overthink things and picture interactions going in the worst direction possible. In reality most people enjoy getting some attention especially when its from someone who is honestly interested in listening :) dont give up on your goals to be more open
M O O D 🙃
Same, it's been proven that's the case too. Sometimes, even though it's rare, by the same people telling me it's not the case
If there was one mistake I made in life and now regret, it was that I didn't spend the rest of my childhood going out and spending time with friends and learning, observing, and building social skills to be able to talk to people. Like everyone in the comments section, I was also socially awkward and introverted, and my dumass old self said that I didn't need to interact with people because it was a waste of time and energy to even try. That mindset led me to what I am currently feeling: loneliness, pathetic, and a lack of self-confidence and communication. Every time I try to talk, I either talk too fast or say something that people won't know because I keep on mumbling or stuttering. And the replies I get are "Sorry, I don't understand?" or "Can you speak slowly?" or "Can you repeat that one more time?" IT'S SO DAMN FRUSTRATING AND I HATE IT, NOT ON THE PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTING LIKE THIS, BUT IM MAD AT MYSELF FOR WHY I BECAME LIKE THIS. And even after multiple attempts to improve this problem, I still manage to fumble and repeat this cycle again and again. Now all I ever wanted right now is people or at least someone who I could talk to normally and to make sure I kept them accompanied and made them feel comfortable around me, not being an anti-social and awkward person who was dying on the inside and always blaming themself. Right now, I'm still finding ways to be a better social person, and I will promise to become a better person for myself and for those, I dearly want to spend my time with. (I speaking this to the commenters below, because I know you all can relate to this and it's ok, we all can have our time to overcome it if you are experiencing the same problem. Feel free to comment.)
I'm feeling it the other way around. Texting feels so difficult. You have to understand how to come off as confident, funny, what's odd to say or what emoji fits to each situation. There are real subtleties that younger people might feel more fluent with.
@@hkg207 emojis actually can convey what text itself can't and that's tone. You can never really read something the same way the person who typed it does. This is coming from someone who has difficulty in both speaking in person and texting while preventing misunderstanding.
I agree ! I absolutely prefer real life social interactions rather than texting. I am extremely awkward and weird while texting. On the other hand, I LOVE socialising and feel absolutely energetic when holding conversations with people
completely agree- i can get a number, seldomly, but always always always ghosted- I hate texting!
don't worry, most people don't use emojis in a lot of cases
I am not fluent in communication at all
bruh my mind just fucking goes blank when talking to someone
Ahhh true and I started to hate talking to anyone cuz of that…
SAME if im trying to talk to someone my mind instantly clears then im like damn now idk what to say and its just silence and i can never make friends bc of it ;-;
Same here. I can't think of anything to say like HOW DO PEOPLE JUST KNOW WHAT TO SAY 😢
@@Melont06 Same that's why I don't have any friends because I don't even know how to socialize and I can't even think of anything 😅😅😅
Next time you find yourself with a stranger you really wanna talk to and you're unsure what to say next after pleasantries. I mean that moment when you're blank...the awkward silence. Just tell that stranger you are having a social experiment and they are the subject of this experiment, this will probably crack them up or make them mad, if they get mad, apologise and walk away but that won't happen. If they are finding your experiment talk interesting and fun, proceed to telling them how you're always puzzled about what to say to strangers and ask them if they are like you. A stranger who is not like you would have a lot to say here, stretching the conversation here would be or should be easy. If the stranger is like you, he/she would likely respond with a short answer saying just "yes" or "no", proceed to asking them "why they feel they are like that". They'll probably be blank here. You could then take your time to educate them, telling them about what you learned in this video, of course you don't wanna tell them you watched a video, I wouldn't but you could try that...its an experiment anyway 😉 Things should go smoothly from here. Try this conversation with the next subject of your experiment and the one after, overtime you'll get better. -You should know I'm an introvert and I also suck at conversations otherwise I wouldn't be here, so I'm gonna take my own advice and try this too 😅
- Secret To Getting Better At Talking To People ? - Talk To People. - Thanks Improvement Pill.
well it can sound stupid but it really is the best long term solution
Yea my social anxiety say's nah😅
@@lovepeaceisneverguaranteed7385 maybe you should see a therapist.
I have been trying this challenge for a lonngg time... I still cant transition into deeper conversations. Maybe I'm just an introvert who hates being an introvert cause society hates us
@@POPDATA Yea, if you actually don't want a deeper conversation it probably won't end well trying to force it.
Talking feels embarrassing. I’m so nervous about tripping over my words, or saying the wrong things. It feels like a weight is on my shoulder everytime I try to write or talk. I’m breaking out of this mindset and doing better to keep communication steady, flowing, and beautiful like I had when I was a child!
The main point is to reduce online interactions and try to go and interact with people in real life to have all the factors playing like " sign language, etc. " so If we want to improve our social and communication skills we just have to try to talk to different people even by saying hi • This is what I have understood from the video and for anyone reading my comment I hope you have a great day
Even online I can't talk to people using my vc on game or others things I can only talk alot to my 3 real friends since they listen to me and I speak alot of my day to them but to other people I'm just quest as heck i don't have confidence or what start to talk to.
"Just go out there and start talking to more people" *laughs in global pandemic*
ikr
Kek
I just wanted to play vr chat and I can't because I get all nervous to talk so I just mute my mic
He meant go yell to people from six feet away though a mask. So kinda like normal.
Idk im still bad talking online
My biggest problem is that I have a fear of just having an awkward conversation. It just bugs me.
SAAAAAMMMMEEE
I used to have that fear too, I kind of still do but I've been working on it. What's my advice? Simple don't care, it's not the end of the world
Same. I get awkward and cant figure out what to say, and then i end up saying something more awkward.-_-
Something that helps me bc I also feel like this is if you remember that even if you're going to have an awkward interaction with a stranger, you'll probably never see them again and they'll have forgotten you in a week.
I only have those. I just want to know how to connect with people
I love this channel so much. Their teachings make me a better person every day. A hug from Brazil
thanks improvement pill, i now get to know why i am like this, such a socially awkward person because in my teen i don't have much friends in school and always gets trolled after saying something, so i started talking less in school as i starting to develop the fear of getting judge and trolled, at coaching i talks a lot but again people there always talk trash and just troll each other and laugh thinking it funny, so i didn't learn much there as well, at home my parents never let me go out and talk with any stranger as well and because of this fear that i started to have since my 3rd or 4th class and became deeper in my 10th class, i started to prefer being with myself rather than being with those asshole people, got toxic friends since childhood so if i ever try to make a new friend they just didn't let me do it as well and i was such a fool to let them do it as well, and that's how my social skills became worst by time, my 11th and 12th was in lockdown period so i was so comfortable at home as no school,no more need to see those people's face again, just gave exams and straight back to home, got literally no friends in class as well, but now when i worked upon my confidence, i will definitely try to interact with people as i need to learn how to talk as soon i need to get into corporate world, so yup thanks, i think i wrote too much haha, if you read till here, thnks buddy, have a nice day :) (even i learned to communicate and express myself in comment sections better through observing other comments, how they just vent out without fear of getting judged, so thanks to it i got unfiltered in comment section communication, haha)
Pro tip that helped me break out of my shell: people are always in their thoughts. they're always thinking more about themselves than you are. Nobody is judging you as much as you think they are and if they are in the rare sitution, judgement is quite literally a reflection of how someone feels about themselves. Basic Psychology !
I don't know what to say tho 😓
this is actually true
@@clementsiow176 you know, you just think too much. People have been having conversations with other people for thousands of years and you're not different.... When you're talking to someone just focus on the person and really listen to them. You can do it!
That’s true.
Needed this
The secret to get better at anything: practice.
Yup practice makes perfect
Indeed!
Parctice 40 hours a day
@@Jack-cr4sy lmao
Jack I cri
A lot of people need to be watching this video right now. I think all the wisdom you put into this video will help them also 🙂.
this is by far the most helpful video ive seen about getting better at talking to people thank you
‘You aren’t born socially handicapped’ Autism: Am I a joke to you
Aspergers here
ADHD i feel you
oUCHY THIS IS TOO REAL ;-;
Bish
Katrina Bruce lel
My problem isn't that I can't talk confidently, my problem is I stay silent when I'm in school or out of home. I only talk to people of my interest.
Yas.
Same help
yhh
I think it's because you have to make the effort to invest yourself in something first in order to get interested in it. That goes for hobbies/studies and people. I couldn't care less about Biology until I made the commitment to learn more about it and from there I gradually started asking more questions about it and became genuinely interested in the subject.
Yeah i feel you
I’m finally getting to the point to where I can talk to people with all most no anxiety and I all most have fun,so keep on working on it you can become social!!
This is actually really helpful, short and always on the points of what I'm looking for.
i was a shy and timid girl, i'm so scared to talk to my friend or classmate. so my first step on practicing to communicate and open up is by greeting the cleaners in my school. i mean they are the one that keep our school clean, so i at least need to appreciate and greet them, right? just a simple "morning!" and smile then walk away, but that small step that i took really help me feel comfortable to speak today
I’m saving this comment
U know, this reminds me of the time I just started conversing with the school security guard outside my school bc I just felt I was suffocating while sitting alone inside where I didn’t know anyone. Ig it only helps yourself whenever u throw yourself into a situation where u need to be social, that’s how u get practice.
@@manahil8993 i can't relate. Talking to teachers are one of my biggest fears. I become so awkward and start to sweat
Wanna know the best part? You most likely made them happy too cuz janitors/cleaners rarely get greeted by students
That's all of my social interact, nothing else.
For those who feel self conscious about not knowing how to talk to people and watching a video on how to do it, there’s nothing to feel ashamed of. Communication is a skill and can be learned and mastered over time. Let’s all become great communicators. I’m taking this journey with too.
That's the right attitude
🥺❤
Agreed man!
As a Mass Communication student myself, I agree 100%
WE CAN DO ITTT 😌
Can confirm, it worked for me. I'm still nervous to talk to people but once I get the conversation started, it essentially drives itself.
Getting a customer service job in retail really helped me. It was really hard the first few months but it’s basically social practice with every interaction, so you catch on quickly.
What I've learned is that everyone is just waiting for the other person to start the conversation, which often leads to an awkward silence due to both sides waiting for the opposing person to begin engaging the topic. Talking first, or starting with an introduction or a handshake isn't really awkward. You may think that people may see you as odd or a show-off, but that is purely or mostly in your own thoughts. In contrast, in my personal experience, when someone starts the conversation first, I feel relieved more than I feel annoyed at them.
I am in accord with U 100%
Man I hate handshakes so much cause everyone has their own kind of handshake and I never know which one to go with
honestly this is quite true recently i literally went up to a random girl in school and asked her if she wanted some nuts which i was munching on to share, i realise how sus that was now but after a awkward laugh and silence we sat together and talked for a while. Yet after that kind of interaction im still often unable to go up to new ppl or have convos its strange guess the more i do it the easier and natural it becomes
Yeah. And sometimes awkward pauses happen, but it's typically because the other person is thinking of what to say. Sometimes you need to let them pick back up the conversation instead of both of you accidentally starting to talk at the same time and then going "Oh sorry no you can go first" and then that back and forth. Give the other person time, but don't let the conversation drop because you were just waiting on them.
@@PracsoGamings same, i hate the weird "dab me up" handshake, it's so awkward when i dont know how to do it.
Me : why no ones approaching me? Also me :*giving unapproachable aura*
i guess jojokes are everywhere :v
EXACTLY. HAHA
*folds arms across chest and frowns for etermity"
I disagree with that like the hell how could anyone see an aura saying dont get any closer lol
Its body language honey
This is very true. I used to have terrible anxiety, and didn't help I was autistic. Really it comes with practice. I work customer service now doing pest control so talking to several customers each day. Each time someone wants to talk with me I listen, especially if they are telling a story. You learn so many great things. Even just chatting with people on the street. You begin to realize maybe most people are not as hostile as you once thought and it gets easier.
Ok, this comment should be my start of my communication skills improvement journey. Let's go!🎉
Every conversation I have feels like an FBI investigation where I just ask a bunch of questions and get one worded responses and then the conversation dies after a couple seconds.
@@ImprovementPill pretty sure it's vice versa
I wish people would ask me stuff, idk why but I love answering questions haha
Yesss mood you're a mood omg I love you
I used to have the same problem, but now I just pick at their brain and start making them talk about their thoughts. Then I start making them talk about themselves until I feel like I got enough information about them to comfortably walk away. The best part is I do all that without ever saying very much. One thing I like to do is throw questions at them that they can't just say "yes" or "no" to, this keeps them talking long enough for you to come up with a follow up question. Sometimes they talk so much I just look blankly into the void, go into my own little world, and every now and then say something to keep them talking. The key is to never stop listening otherwise they'll know that you're not listening and won't want to talk to you anymore. You don't necessarily have to pay attention to what they're saying, just listen, hear the words they're saying and respond accordingly. Doesn't work all the time but when it does you won't be the one doing all the talking anymore. Hope this helps.
@@soulassassin0g can you give examples on how you make them actaully start talking about themselves? Because I always get short answers and I don't want to always be the leader of conversations, the one that asks and talks the most
"hey that's a cat YESSS CAT C.A.T. meow meow SAY IT WITH ME." Me: i-
Aldrin Inobio me: Dog
You-
Meoow🙈
Aldrin Inobio Me: LSTER
Ice
My biggest problem is that if someone judges me of my talking. I hate and I am scared of people who judges me and I think that’s why I am always quiet and shy. When I am around my bestest friends I will be completely a whole person but when there are strangers in that room I suddenly become silent. In school also if there is any programme or interaction classes I starts to stammer while talking. My head becomes completely blank while I am talking in front of my classmates/schoolmates. Next week I am joining medical course. So I know that there will be so many cases in which I should interact so that’s why I am searching for videos that helps me interact. I wish this course will be my turning point of my life of becoming a confident and courageous person who I have always dreamed of.
you guys take it easy on yourselves everything will turn out alright. learn and be patient you will grow to be successful with time and build meaningful relationships
One thing that helps me is to realize that everyone is just a person. No matter if it’s your crush or just another person, they aren’t actively evaluating you and determining whether you are worth being around. They’re just talking to you. You’re also just a person to them and they’re not gonna think your stupid for approaching them, especially if you are already friends.
thank u 😊
Can I please get some advice. So I have decided to start talking to people in my school but I realized that everyone is already in developed friend groups and I want to enter some friend groups but I want to do it more discreetly. I don't want to be labled the poor kid who has no friends when I enter the group (Even though I am 💀) Help. Please
@@Dreamer-rg4eb I really, really wish I had a solution to this but I have this exact problem. I am in a group of people but no one really takes me seriously so it still feels like I’m alone. And honestly idk how to join a random group of people without them seeing me as a random lonely person like you said. I’d suggest finding people who are also alone and saying hi to them, and every now and then I find people I naturally feel comfortable talking to. But otherwise I’m waiting until college where no one will know each other and that problem won’t exist in the beginning.
@@Dreamer-rg4eb People fo have groups but it's not possible that they're together all the time, so if you befriend (or fimiliarise) with even two people (of a group of say 5 people) separately, that should practically give you an entry in that group as having someone fimiliar to talk to automatically fimiliarises you with the rest. Also patience, these things take time and we can't rush them just cuz we want them
and to fimiliarise is just to start a convo since it's not like the start judging and stuff what the comment originally said
Me : _Ho-ho so you're approaching me?_ Someone : Yes Me : *Runs away*
Hō… mukatte kuru no ka?
oMg iS ThAt a jOjo ReFerNcE???
Hhhhh
Best comment I've read all day
Nigerundayo
One of the things that I learned from a book who I read in the past about how to talk better with other people was the golden rule of conversations : Stimulate the people talking about themselves, cause there isn't nothing more interesting to them than themselves.
thank you so much for this video, because here others are explaining why you can’t do it, but they never really answer the question. i’m constantly using analogies to get ideas across to others, so providing an example with a solution was very useful.
Pill: *100 Interactions Challenge* Coronavirus: Hi
iT's cOrOnA TImE!
Ahh true
mad dan22 hey
Lmao This comment seems soo funny now tbh😂
Hehe.. I hope you've reached 50 at least 😄
I’ve learned to just stay calm. I used to get anxious when talking to people, especially random people who just walked up to me. Wether it’s a causal convo on the street, or a job interview, I always listen to understand, think about the question/statement, and then respond as if we are friends just having a convo. I also find that smiling and being open tends to help a lot as well, and that makes the other person feel comfortable enough to have a conversation.
those are awesome points! many of which I utilize as well. i just uploaded a video on how i overcame social anxiety and the fear of public speaking. if you check it out, let me know.
Agreed
I like you cause I know what you mean
if someone doesnt know how to talk and has a robot personality is that aspergers?
@@jessicaalvarez2314 probably not, it’s most likely just social awkwardness. You just need a lot of practice
I cannot second more what it's being said in this video. I used to be a very awkward kid, kind of nerdy and insecure in every aspect of life. So I decided to pick up a career that would put me in the game so I could master social skills: I studied and took a degree in nursing. Now I talk to people 90% of my week, I can say yes it does improve, but you still have to put some effort in it and apply to really understand the setting and stuff. But it does pay off indoubtedly (many patients now appreciate my person and enjoy socializing with me even though I still feel a little bit awkward sometimes).
I liked the challenge of 100 interaction 😍 Making friends and socializing with people who will help us to improve is soo crucial. This requires us to go beneath the facade of social media, and jump on to interact with as much people as possible in real life in order to learn more from them and about them .
"you aren't born socialy handycaped" *asperger intensifies*
Exactly!
NihilisticMonkey Dancing Most people I know with Aspergers talks way and I mean WAAAYYY too much (no offense).
@@user-dc4yr2ev5h and there are the one talking way to less.
Introverts pratically screaming from inside!!!
I was about to comment this too XD like da fuq i was born this way thats why im here XD
I honestly just hate awkward silence. I want to talk continuously but then they say that I’m too talkative. I barely talk and I get labeled the quiet kid.
Ask lots of questions my man
Me too, I'm quiet and when I start talking they think I'm boring🥲
@@deletemaster4786 I know the feeling 🙃😭
We’re living the same life bro and i know it sucks
@@deletemaster4786 sameee
i’m gonna shorten 100 people to 50 because it’s winter and i don’t go out much. starting tomorrow 🤞
too the man with 3.27m subscribers, thanks for the help. gave me perspective on how I've been viewing my personal interactions
I used to be super sociable as a child but over time I got put down and pushed away so I felt bad about it and ended up being very introverted and socially scared.
Same happened to me I was pretty sociable before but now I became really introverted and now I have social anxiety too Sometimes I miss the old me..
Same! Before people would call me annoying and now they don't even know i exist :')
@@biscuit9095 yeah🥲
Same
Same...
I'm shy, awkward, introverted and I overthink a lot. This is why I don't socialize. It's exhausting but I'll try. *Edit: Dude, I didn't even know it'd reach this amount of likes. I thought my comment was just cringe asf. An update in my life for those who're curious; ftf classes started and I am faced with a bunch of people to interact. The first day of school was nerve-wracking. I had to sit all by myself in the corner of the room as I knew no one. However, I was not entirely alone. There was one person in front of me who also seemed to be really nervous just as I am. Hence, I tapped on their shoulder and made light conversations like, "what's your name?" "you should sit next to me, I feel kind of lonely all alone here hahaha". One way to enhance your communicating skill is to make the first move. I, myself don't like small talks but everything has got to start from scratch. My hands were literally shaking. I was thinking of how to continue the conversation. Luckily, this dude was quite talkative, hence everything went well and we became friends. I felt awesome after that. I'm still working on how to talk to a big group of people but this much is already a big improvement on my side.*
same
ur not u just think u are
@@duhulsfant2979 bruh
@@2Lowfy bruh
same
Thanks to your video I know how far I really am with my social skills especially by far as to how to communicate with other people and most of the time I struggle on what I need to say whenever I do have something in my mind but then I forgot what I need to say and sometimes I don't have anything to say which can be very difficult for me to start conversations with some people I'm interested in and I've been dealing with this problem since my middle and high school years.
the most accurate and helpful video i found.
this is a *secret* comment so *secret* people can like it *secretively*
That’s a lot of alliteration Secret Saif Saad, just wanted to sneak right in here and say that
I am secretly happy for your secret comment
🤐
Yeet
I don’t know why but before liking this comment, I checked around me to be sure nobody was watching me. It seems that the word « secret » has a strong impact on me 😂
People who aren’t/weren’t allowed to go out and meet people as kids/teens definitely know the struggle of starting conversations 😭
Yes we are just protected tooo much that we forget how real world people works
That's totally me. 😥
exactly… i have never even went to my neighbor’s houses alone, i always have to be with my dad or my grandma
You summed up my childhood in these 3 lines. 😢
i'm never allowed to go out and meet ppl, but i find it easy to interact w others without being awkward lol💀
I've recently gone through a hard time and realized that main problem is how I talk to people. This helped me so thanks
omg this makes so much sense! i started to have social anxiety after lockdown. have to people watch more often
I used to be very shy. A couple of months ago I said life is awesome and just started naturally talking to people. Literally with anyone. When I didn't know what to say, basically the first thing that came to my mind I said it. I was talking one time with a stranger about the weather and then when the silence came, I literally started talking about the school systems out of nowhere. At first it was VERY awkward, I was like an alien, I didn't know anything but right now I'm very different than a couple of months ago. I started loving and having respect for myself. Then everything else started coming to me positively. I'm still improving but I'm not really shy anymore.
how do you think of stuff? I can't think of anything, my mind just goes blank.
@@lovepuppy4627 that's probably because of anxiety. When you are under a lot of stress, cortisol floods your system and your mind goes blank. That happened to me a few times too about I usually just start talking about some random thing. Or I just comment on the nature, surroundings until I think of something. Usuallysomenerdybiologyfact but it doesn't matter
Next time you find yourself with a stranger you really wanna talk to and you're unsure what to say next after pleasantries. I mean that moment when you're blank...the awkward silence. Just tell that stranger you are having a social experiment and they are the subject of this experiment, this will probably crack them up or make them mad, if they get mad, apologise and walk away but that won't happen. If they are finding your experiment talk interesting and fun, proceed to telling them how you're always puzzled about what to say to strangers and ask them if they are like you. A stranger who is not like you would have a lot to say here, stretching the conversation here would be or should be easy. If the stranger is like you, he/she would likely respond with a short answer saying just "yes" or "no", proceed to asking them "why they feel they are like that". They'll probably be blank here. You could then take your time to educate them, telling them about what you learned in this video, of course you don't wanna tell them you watched a video, I wouldn't but you could try that...its an experiment anyway 😉 Things should go smoothly from here. Try this conversation with the next subject of your experiment and the one after, overtime you'll get better. -You should know I'm an introvert and I also suck at conversations otherwise I wouldn't be here, so I'm gonna take my own advice and try this too 😅
@@BlenderTutsWithRob That's honestly a great idea!!
@@streamepiphany9932 I'm glad you found it useful.
Literally the easiest way to talk to people is to ask questions. Most people love to talk about themselves it also keeps the conversation going and it makes people think you’re actually interested in what they’re saying
But eventually it will feel like an interrogation
P Granger-Stylinson you can ask one question and then respond to what they say/ answer it yourself
@@flowwy5208 sameeee
* think *
But what if the other person doesn’t talk much or what if they talk about something you can’t relate/don’t know much about??
Yo bro thanks on letting me know on how I could get better at talking to people, because for the most part I am really awkward and shy and don’t like meeting new people, but after seeing your video it really makes wanna go out and start a new conversations with people, but like what you say it dose take time so I’ll start practicing it so I can improve.
Yeah, you are correct. I get nervous while addressing people who are not familiar and kind of introvert. Not getting options to talk to people for giving chance to my brain. Thanks
I don't why, but I always feel anxious everytime I talk to people.
That's ok you probably have a degree of social anxiety. There will be ways you can work around it, self confidence that you are worth being spoken to is a great start.
I just get scared of saying the wrong thing.
It's alright bro, you'll need to develop more of your social interactions aswell as your self confidence. I have that same issue when I was a kid. Like every time my mom tried to say "order a drink" my reaction was like 😳 and I always pointed to my other siblings to do it for me 😂. Lol funny times.
Amazing Doggie lol same here 😆😫
Never take you anxiety seriously its irrelevant. Don't apply your identity and ego to your interactions and don't take people's reactions personally my son
Bold of you to assume i can even text people
My texting is trash.
Bold of him to assume I have people to text! Seriously, I have no friends. I don't have a mobile phone to text with if I even HAD friends.
@@angelus_solus I guess you can just join some discord server. I am sure there is at least one server centered around your interests. If not... you're screwed..
I am amazing at texting and I often know how a conversation should go. I think it is more of my appearance and how I look when I talk that makes it hard the most.
i text like a total extrovert but irl i m fucking awkward
I don’t really need a course but I’m definitely down the 100 interaction challenge. I’m working on improving my communication skills and found this video in my research. Thank you 🙏
I learnt that small talk is a great way to start a conversation, because once you ask about how their day was and all that, you can get to the deeper stuff, and have a meaningful conversation
COVID has truly ruined my social life.. 😭
True dat
Yeah me too, I literally just play video games and that ruined my social life too😩
fr i cant speak without stuttering to literally anyone
ikr, i wasn’t THIS awkward a year ago
But you could make a video call to someone you wanna talk with by a some apps
I find it easy talking to people but it’s crazy how many people can’t carry a basic conversation sometimes
Wade Walker right! Totally agree, sometimes I’m nervous cuz sure I can start a conversation and try my best to not be awkward but no matter what it’s a two way effort.
Improvement Pill true 👏🏾
it's not difficult to share your hobbies and interests with someone nor ask and learn about theirs. You never know what you could learn from basic conversations 💭💬🗯
Ur hard
It's fucking difficult for some of us, including me.
I changed because of these video. Thank you so much for made me feel better and enjoyed my life, before watch these video i feel so sucks and i couldn’t even talking with people because i have a lot things to thinking before i speak..
I'm very socially underdeveloped. I was born with bad eyesight and it's extremely difficult to "observe" the social goingons from a visual standpoint. I'm incredibly shy, and have learned the art of "becoming invisible." I have lots to do to catch up to my peers in that aspect, but I always thought it was interesting how my eyesight, albeit mixed with my introverted personality, makes it so hard to be social. I just learned the other day, that people smile at each other when they pass by each other, at least where I am. No one ever told me for almost 17 years that that's what you do, because people usually just figure it out. Sad, but absolutely fascinating to me.
I am lost some of my eyesight after 11th that is after quarentine...and then on my social skills were damaged from a hero point to a zero...now also im suffering
My actual handicap is my lack of interest into a communication with others. I literally can't even think of a topic to talk about and find myself too often to be way too different anyways. But in the rare case I have a similar interest like the other person, I actually find myself capable of prolonged small talk. (But heck, that's rare.)
Remember this noumonic (mate)to start a conversation, and keep it going. Intro observe the weather, and say Nice Sunny day, or its very cold today. Then talk about M usic A ctivities T heater E ntertainment. Have ago with the above, what have you got to loose
find more hobbies, do more things, watch more shows, anime whatever, there are things to talk when you know something
Kevin By that you mean having more knowledge about life and things in life is helpful for talking about different things in a conversation? That’s a reason why I probably have silences in convos because when ppl talk about certain things I have nothing to speak on it because I don’t know anything about it or experienced it.
You don't have to come up with a topic. Just ask them to talk about themselves
I used to be like that but now I just compliment something about them then whatever happens from there happens or I ask them how their day is going
my problem is that I forget words because of my anxiety it sucks.
Same
Yep, same. Social anxiety just makes everything harder when it comes to talking
same
This is my whole problem!
Same bro this is so frustrating 😫
This is one of the best videos I've seen in my life🎉
I've always felt too anxious to talk around my circle of friends. But they're extra gentle with me and am grateful for it.
Samee
Don't go out simply to talk to others but talk to people as you attend an event or do a task. This will help you not get attached to the outcome.
@@ImprovementPill Yes, of course. As long as you don't look lost while doing it. Do you plan on doing a Q & A anytime soon?
This helped with overthinking the outcome. Thank you. 🙏🏻
So true. It helps to take the pressure and anxiety off yourself to have a different goal and have talking to people as a byproduct of that
For me texting is so hard but talking in person is a bit easier...
Goshh how could that even happen
Woah that's me
I totally agree. It is way easier to read the person IRL, and from that keep a conversation going.
I get you. It's kinda hard to read in-between lines and emotions through texts.
Opposite for me. I can’t read somebody if my life depended on it.
Really Helpful Video ✨ , and thanks for the playlist too 🤝
Agreed. Only till I got a job and talked to new people/customers did I begin to feel more confident and don’t feel embarrassed anymore. Which is massive. I can still be very quiet at times when I don’t know what to say but I know im improving all the time :)
I struggle to transition from small talk to deeper conversations, and im always scared of saying something stupid or weird. But i’ve been learning slowly but surely that it doesnt matter if i mess up, life goes on, and people who are worth keeping in ur life wont care about if u say something dumb or weird
I struggle to pronounce a lot of words😣
The SECRET on How to talk to people better: -Talk to people Sounds Legit, Thank you.
“For the things we have to learn before we can do them, we learn by doing them.” - Aristotle. Yes, it's paradoxal, but it is how it is. The example he gave in the video, asking a stranger for directions, is a great start!
I found that talking to people you'll never meet again helps a bunch. Stuff like Omegle is great for it. If you say something you're embarrassed about, you can just click to leave it and try again .
this comment deserves more upvotes
@@georgegeorgsonsonofgeorgea2940 omegle stuff gets viral if it turns out to be embarrassing or awkward one. People have kinda made it a hobby
@@RealVikas03 you could learn to fly plane, steer a ship, motorboat, drive a car, ride bicycle, humans are amazingly adaptive and we learn by trial and error so will need many attempts and practice (learn by doing them), just gotta be safe tho
"phone = bad"
No, it's just a tool, even very useful
@@johnweak6788 あっぷ
subscribed to this channel man. really like the graphics in your videos
Me: **is curious & wants to touch something** My mom: Don’t touch that Me: **wants to speak my mind** My mom: Don’t say that Me: **wants to talk to people** My mom: Don’t trust anyone Me: Mom, I think I have social anxiety My mom: Bullsh*t. I didn’t raise you like that. Now get out there.
Marie G It’S tHaT dAmN pHoNe
Marie G I would be this type of mom , except my child is allowed to speak their mind and say what they want and it’s okay but my child ain’t allowed to touch things
@@gachapotatoxd7040 except their pp ofc
Only a loser blames their mom, she might have done all those things but you could have always rebelled and got in that white van with the dude who offered you candy... You're responsible now that you're an adult, so correct her mistakes.
Wow , trust part hit me hard cuz I learned it in a hard way ..... not from my mom but from ppl themselves.... and that's why I don't feel like talking with anyone ....
There's something so sad about these kinds of videos. As an introvert, I don't normally talk to people but as moments progress, we really meet some amazing people we want to have a conversation with and it really sucks when we don't know how to maintain them. I'm afraid I'll lose them someday because of how inexperienced I am of this. It's never easy but still, we'll get through these introverts :)
relatable
Even when you act more extroverted, people will come and go, nothing lasts forever, but does matter is what ever impression you can make of them, even if you don't see them forever, you can at least have them remember you.
Amazing people?
Highly relatable
What about now?
Your sence of humour is appealing for my Vibes and they way you tell it's affable 😄
You know, imagine yourself as a person or character you admire, have posture, then go and talk to the person without thinking twice, because if you do, you fall in the trap of your mind. Even if the conversation doesn't goes well, you should see it as experience, as a lesson to be taken, so you can improve. Allow yourself to commit "errors", nobody is perfect. The best way to improve is practice.
Me: *Crying in introvert*
LG Acv Introverts usually don’t even want to interact with other people.. so why tf would you watch it if you are an introvert? I am pretty sure you meant social anxiety and not introvert.
@@user-dc4yr2ev5h I believe your comment was absolutely useless, if it wasn't worse... the last sentence is the only one with value, are you really criticizing a joke?
@@snowcrystal1924 That is your opinion? Probably others to? I was just telling the difference between introvert and social anxiety.
Tim Hmmmm since when introverts don't want to interact with other people?
nssjd kttk Uhm? Since they realized that it is a thing? Introverts (like the ones that are very introvert) needs to be alone, they can’t/don’t want to handle people for a long time, they try to be alone as much as possible because they don’t wanna talk to anyone, it drains them of too much energy. Being shy is different you want to be social but you can’t.
I grew up in abusive household, didn't get to go out and socialize much. All those years was hell for me. I become too self-concious, had low self-esteem and severely depressed. At school, i wanted to start talking but didn't, because i felt i had no experience and i would just sound dumb. Few years later, i went to college and met inspiring people that helped me become better. Don't ever let people's negativity bury you, Don't ever be afraid of becoming better.✌️🦋
I am in the exact same situation. My father forces me to stay home most of the time to take care of my siblings and now I can't talk to people🧍🏽♀️
@@Dreamer-rg4eb Until you can socialize and create relationships, work on yourself the best you can. I know it sucks being alone, but look forward to when you will be able to make new friends.
😃
That's exactly how everything went for me minus the inspiring people part and onwards. Family was verbally abusive 99,9% of the time which of course led to similar consequences as you mentioned except i'm not sure about depression. I just can't tell if i'm overexaggerating or acctually depressed. I didn't go out much because i was scared of socializing and then it evolved into being imprisoned by myself. No, mother didn't cared much where i was going, nobody did. When they did asked me this terrifying question, it's only because i don't go out much. I was scared of being questioned and judged. And when i did come out, low self-esteem issues would kick in and make me feel miserable. "Why is everyone better than me in litterally everything? How's that even possible?" Now when people say something i just shut down cause i just completly don't know what to say.
Same with me 😓
This 5 minute video is really helpful. Amazing
thank you so much for taking the time to address this topic. Make it simple I am sharing this with my 14 yr old socially awkward grandson. This is the answer of the why
Aww what a great grandma 😊
Be so genuine and sincere, its refreshing, and allows the other person to open up. And don't be too agreeable, spark some debates but stay humble.
ughh agreeableness is hard to tackle
@@amelialalllalala3914 No its not.
@@agentbuizel9875 Okay, yes-man.
I grew up being introvert and timid so socializing to people is what I'm really scared of. I just feel like once I stutter or make mistake, they'll judge me. But then, recently I started to change my mindset and slowly practicing how to communicate without sounding awkward. It was hard but sure will get used to it if you're consistent. I'm glad I watched this video and learned a lot on how to be better at talking. So to anyone who's like me, always remember that everything takes time, so keep practicing and never give up!
That's wonderful to hear!!! Hopefully I could also have that same mindset :,)
I'm an introvert and I Sutter too,I'm on the path to improving my social skills.Lets keep pushing
Why confine your characteristics within the borders of someone else's description? Humans are a lot more complex than that. Exhibiting both introversion and extroversion is natural for the complexity of everyday life. You're limiting yourself as soon as you label yourself as an introvert or extrovert. Essentially, it's a trap. You're expected to live up to those stereotypes
the problem w me is that i stutter alot, that i might even accidentally bite my tongue. i also forget what to say easily so i overthink what i can respond
I was way more shy before, but after I stopped worrying about making them talk I kind of just started to talk, and people really appreciate when you are the guy talking. Because it’s better for one guy to talk than for no one to talk. What you also can do is have small pauses to make them talk if they want. Talk, talk about what you do, and one more thing. Why, how and what, these are things you can ask yourself and other people to keep the conversation going😊
I’ve found a lot of the reason I have a hard time talking to people is I tend to think people don’t care what I have to say so I just keep quite