Meanwhile... Endangered Penis Plant Is NSFW | Kid Goes Viral For Tee-Ball Dance
Meanwhile... Video of a tee-ball player's elaborate at-bat dance is making the rounds online, and Stephen marvels at photos of a jungle flower that's too phallic to show on TV. #Colbert #Comedy #Meanwhile
Subscribe To "The Late Show" Channel: bit.ly/ColbertKZhead
Watch full episodes of "The Late Show": bit.ly/1Puei40
Listen to "The Late Show Pod Show" podcast: link.chtbl.com/Awagtx95?sid=yt
Like "The Late Show" on Facebook: on.fb.me/1df139Y
Follow "The Late Show" on Twitter: bit.ly/1dMzZzG
Follow "The Late Show" on Instagram: bit.ly/29wfREj
Watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35 PM ET/10:35 PM CT. Only on CBS.
---
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via Paramount+, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.
5:19 The irony of America. Wont ban guns after school shootings. Will ban phallic looking flower on TV,..
Thots and pears are more useful than thoughts and prayers.
Boy.. Have you ever met pressure-groups?
@@maazkalim Yeah, like those pesky dentists! Always telling us to brush our teeth and floss. What sheeple.
what a sad, sad country.
The gun is good. The penis is evil.
Showing a plant on TV: no we cant allow it. Selling assault rifles to an 18yo: SURE. murica
You need to understand... There is no money in penis plants.
New York just removed it's last payphone. In Australia, Telstra recently made all the 'pay phones' free so that people in trouble or down on their luck could still make calls.
we charge for everything. lol Keep in mind you can buy the airspace over buildings.
@@sknkwrksowner I hope one day America gets over it's national fear of socialism.
Polite Society, the problem is that most Americans don't know what socialism is. It's just a buzzword the right uses to scare the masses
That's great. I worry about that access here.
That is profoundly noble. 🤝👏
Only in the USA would you have to blur a plant on TV. Mass shootings? Show everything. Phallic plant? Nooooooo!!!!
That's us in a bit shell
nut shell. Damned spell check
Except they don't... for obvious reasons. But maybe they should, because the images of someone death gurgling on the pavement will stick with you and perhaps that will resensitize people to these acts of violence and turn the "thoughts & prayers" into action.
That plant does look like a penis.
We have that plant in Borneo, Indonesia. I played with it when I was a kid, its a plant eating ants, a very amazing plant. Never, never I ever thought that plant look like a pnis before. We have a big statue of it in the city. Now I can't look at that statue without thinking it looks like pnis. Thanks I guess
You might not have noticed somehow, but I think we all figured it out right away. 🤣
Ahh... A carnivore plant, of course it is!
@@maazkalim you can open the tip (god now that gross 🤣) and peek inside if it has dead ants floating on liquid. We sometimes pour the liquid to our head believe its good for the hair. Cant confirm if thats true tho, but I still have my hair
@@cc1k435 we called it kantong monyet (pocket monkey) cuz you can open the tip (😬) like a pocket. Now I cant unthink this. I want my innocence back
Ahh... When you say “tip”, you meant like the penile meatus in human-body, riiigghht? 😬😈😏 Also.. Is that said “liquid”, like a lube? Say.. [A ]gel[atinous]?
The aversion to human nudity to the point that an image of a plant has to be blurred is completely absurd.
funny thing, they weren't blurred in the following pictures :D
Specifically it's an aversion to sex that is so extreme that it does more harm than good
Welcome to Amuricrrrr
Well we were settled by puritans. Haven’t completely gotten rid of that puritanical streak.
@@zemoxian We haven't even tried--we're doubling down on that batsh*t puritanical nonsense now. Just a bunch of heathens, wandering around in our nsfw bodies he created in his perfect nsfw image, just so we could fulfill the self-loathing prophecies while still blowharding to the greater heathens--the non-Muricans.
Without any payphones.....kids will read old Superman comics and wonder why there used to be random changing stations on city street corners. 🤣🤣
EU: showing full frontal nudity and sex scenes on daytime television. US: blurring a picture of a plant on a late night show.
Yesterday, I was watching an old French exercise TV show, and the closing credits were shown over the naked presenters taking a shower!
Yup... the EU has more freedom and less guns
- "Do we need to blur the whole thing?" • "Just the tip."
Like with breasts: -"Do we need to blur the whole thing?" • "Just the nip."
Archer fan, perhaps 🤔?
@@traceythompson1092 you betcha.
I lived in New Zealand for 15 years. Never ever ever should have left... or at least, I should have moved back the instant I realised I had made a horrible mistake.
Welcome to the United States of Atrocities 👋😀
If it’s not personal, why did you leave?
@@alexissey4023 Lord of the Rings was infringing 😆
@@alexissey4023 Where did I say it was not personal? And I'm apparently autistic and didn't understand you were asking a question. I left New Zealand because one of my sisters rang and told me my mother was dying of cancer and it was MY DUTY, because I had no children, to leave my everything and go back to the US to help my mother. So I did. And then, she told me I had to find somewhere to live or pay rent because I wasn't allowed to live with her rent free. So,... family sucks. Cancer sucks. Let me move back to New Zealand.
@@TheAccidentalViking I was just trying to be polite.
I love how you could see the tips of 2 other plants 🤣
A want a book that is nothing but a collection of Stephen's descriptions of his Meanwhile skits. :) Make it a big one. A coffee table book. :)
Gotta say, I am genuinely impressed with the elaborate intros to “meanwhile” that Stephen’s writers come up with again and again… How DO they do it??
Weed, lots of weed.
@@killer1963daddy probably 🤭😂😶🌫️
I can’t wait for him to carve a couple tikis. He’s already built a guitar.
Probably some sort of random word generators, subjects, verbs, etc.
I’m just honestly annoyed with them. They were funny a few times and now they’re literally just a waste of everyone’s time
That little cutie at the beginning had it going ON. Kids are so self-confident and rubbery.
That kid saw High School Musical 2 and was like "hold my apple juice" 😂
I remember christians in the 80's going crazy over yoga, FFS move on already. Bloody fear of the unknown, they don't even know what yoga is. I also remember them calling troll dolls evil in the 80's so not much has changed. You'd think over time people would become more enlightened as we gain more knowledge but some haven't grown much at all.
Don't forget how "evil" Dungeons and Dragons was. Like you were basically worshipping Satan if you played.
They are taught not to think. "An idle mind is the devil's playground" is just a way to scare people away from their own thoughts because that might lead to questioning things
Cabbage Patch Kids were going to murder you in your sleep.
@@calmyourmind5665 Have you seen the movie "Dark Dungeons", and the companion 'making of' "Attacking the Darkness"? The movie is an adaptation of a graphic novella of the same name about the evils of D&D, written in the 1980s. Wonderfully insightful. Highly recommended 👍
@@KristiContemplates Dark Dungeons is not a documentary, it's a stupid movie and mistake that Tom Hanks made in starring in it.. D&D is about getting together and creating stories with friends and having fun. And if that "novella" you're referring to is that stupid Chick Tract you're out of touch. I play tabletop games like D&D, have since I was a teen. Trust me, no goat sacrifices or bloodletting rituals happen. Stop being so close-minded and easily fooled.
Yoga ….because the fear of death in a classroom isn’t cultism….it’s a real thing….but let’s worry about yoga!
Exactly.
That wee boy had made my day 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
"Everybody's gotta go to New Zealand." No truer statement has ever been made, Stephen.
Blurring a plant, yet no gun control. Wow, America. How modern of you.
How American of you
@@emjay2045 I'm safely tucked away in Europe, dear
And w the TX incident Tuesday 😵😵🤢🤮. They Alwaz find a reason...also remember when Cheetoe TRAITOR was in....he allowed mentally troubled people to get guns....they r ALWAZ saying ' it's 🚫 guns....it's the people....OK. PUT THE TWO TOGETHER AND FIX THE FUCKING PROBLEM!!!😵😵😠😠🤢🤮🤢🤮😿
We aren't scared of being gunned down in the street. We're afraid of sex
@@cathywethington5913 why?! Usually that's good fun. With over 26000 gun deaths a year in your country, money still rules. 😢
This boy just gave my heart/soul something to smile about today 💕😇🙏
The MEANWHILE monologue juxtapositions of descriptive prose are nothing short of brilliant. Kudos to the writers!
Goat Sacrifice Ken….omg! That writer is just gold.
Embracing "Meanwhile" has been a mind-bending experience for Stephen, wonderful!
i miss the Wørd! No need for extremely BS long intro, that takes sometimes more than half of the entire clip...
@@Velatos1 speak for yourself. I love the intros
@@brandonbuckles826 speak for yourself, i hate them
Man, he fights a lot of racoons and hobos in his Meanwhile monologue
Steven I don't know who writes the opening part before you start meanwhile but it gets more complicated and more hilarious every time LOL my hats off to you
That monologue walk-in was fucking incredible. Best one yet. Well done Stephen & team.
They're all getting INSANE! They need to put out a book of 'em!
@@Crimethoughtfull yes!
Unsurprising about Dolphins tasting each other's urine to recognize each other - dogs smell each other's butt.
#Funfact? Or just ‘true’..?
Well, they have echolocation, & I've heard that they have series of clicks that they can use to identify themselves & even "describe" things to each other... why are they using urine?
@@AccidentalNinja because it's more personal.
Having lived with dogs all my life, I don't think they need to sniff each other to recognize each other. I think they are just checking to see if the other dog had something better for dinner
@@AccidentalNinja because between the urine thing and the raping thing dolphins are just trash animals.
Who ever writes those lead ups to meanwhile deserves an Emmy NOW!
The "long walk" just keeps getting more and more entertaining!
Fun fact: the nepenthes family of carnivorous plants is actually what the Weepingbell pokemon was based upon. Not kidding.
I'll never look at that Pokemon the same ...
*Weepinbell.
Yup definitely looks like a Victreebell Lmaoo
🤭🤭🤭
Okay; that Meanwhile intro was the best one ever! Kudos to the writers and to Stephen for his smooth delivery!
1/ this intro got a standing O from me, alone in my living room 2/ Some writer missed the chance of calling back the penis plant for Goat Sacrificing Ken..."If plants can have a penis, then so can I"
As a lighting manufacturer I approve this message! Just finished wiring a venetian chandelier the other day
The part Stephen left out of his story was that he locked Jacinda's phone, because, like a child, he played with her password screen too many times while she was driving.
Pretty ironic that the lady complaining about the Yoga Barbie looks like she's more plastic than an actual Barbie
I bet she doesn't even believe that crap. It's all about getting publicity.
@@fr2ncm9 I grew up ultra conservative and we were fed that kind of nonsense. I dunno if she's for real but some people definitely are, sadly.
@Senna_Grillo12 Funny, I feel the same way about Christianity. I mean all the rape and murder and genocide in the Old Testament, the Crusades, the Inquisition, that is some pretty dark stuff sure enough
@Senna_Grillo12 Was there also a story about cutting a baby in half like in the old testament?
@Senna_Grillo12 most people just see yoga as elaborate stretches and exercise. Consult your physician if you fear for your life from starting a new exercise routine.
That kid is in the wrong sport someone put him in a dance class ASAP lol
I've learned more abt artisanal craftsmanship from Meanwhile than anything lol
Ah..Stephen, thanks for giving us laughter & hope- keep it coming!
Having a PhD in Chemistry I approve this introduction.
Ironically the only person who demands goat sacrifices in the Bible is God, not Satan. Except sometimes it's your children instead of a goat.
Oh, that's a good point!
@@nedim_guitar -It's an obvious point ... to anyone who has actually, you know, read the bible. And just wait until you find out about slavery in the bible.
@@arthurneddysmith One of the gifts God liked to give.
@@arthurneddysmith God also explicitly states not to mistreat said slaves though
Count the dead directly caused by Satan (btw, the serpent in Eden is _not_ Satan. It's just a talking, four-legged snake), then count those killed by, or in God's name. Especially women, children and unborn babies. God isn't pro-choice, he's pro-unwilling abortion.
I do hope that Ben keeps that at-bat dancing tradition alive when he finally plays in the majors.
For a moment or two, it looked like he was doing John Cleese's silly walk
He’ll get hit with a pitch if he does
Sorry, but I thinks it's not cute. A bit at first sure, but how much time did he waste of the game showboating? Already signs of a narcissistic. Either that, or I'm being a cranky old lady.
Right. Because it was soooo classy.
@@chassan10 The Ministry lives on!
Whoever writes those intros needs a raise. Regardless of how much they're paid!
It's so weird that people think yoga is evil. I'm guessing these people have never practiced yoga. They need to ~observe their breath~ and chill out.
Oddly enough, one can yoga without Hinduism. Just like one can oppress women and minorities without practicing an Abrahamic religion!
Calming your mind and being in tune with your body is basically the exact opposite of their fundamentalist rules.
They're religious nuts. What else can we expect?
@@beth8775 Not really; they see it as a form of prayer that doesn’t involve the Judeo-Christian God, and so they fear that it is satanic. But it’s really just a relaxation technique that has nothing to do with praying to any deity at all.
That kid loosened up his body for the hit.
Ouch.
6:31 Remember when "Christian influencers" looked less like Barbie and more like the original Rev. Green in Clue?
I so appreciate the intro to Meanwhile, I'm ecstatic by the chemistry detail. Looooove it, and to top it of a botanical reference. Unmatched
That kid went full major Payne 🤣
You gotta admit, Stephen Colbert can make a story.
This probably explains why I can't tell dolphins apart.
As a glass artist I am thourghly impressed with the research behind this meanwhile! Here here Colbert and staff!!!!
Glad to hear the _Meanwhile_ overly descriptive intros get love.
As an entertainer, I could not imagine doing what you just did. I need to actually BREATHE once in a while.
Sounds like Breathe With Me Barbie would be perfect, then! 😂
@Cozmo the Magician • I wondered whether Stephen took breathing lessons to be able to say all that. Glad a professional recognized the difficulty.
I did not know this type of delivery is supposed to be hard. Might explain the side-eye by medical officers when I say I'm having an asthma attack, in full, albeit short, sentences. I'm in a small town and didn't study dramatic arts beyond high-school 🤷🏿♀️
Love the meanwhile intros so much!
Louis sends out a positive vibe over the screen! Hopefully he and Jon will share it equally!
“I always wanted to go to Cambodia. You can get a lobster dinner there, for like, a dollar.”
But will you see aliens?
@@beth8775 - Probably, when I’m tripping balls after eating a $1 lobster dinner! 🤪
look at the flashy thingy
@@rinzaghi2057 take her to dinner. Spend more than a dollar.
I imagine the endangered plant of the phallic persuasion would actually be NSFWWF.
Minor correction, the plant is actually Nepenthes bokorensis, not Nepenthes mirabilis. The latter is by far the most common and widespread member of the genus, whereas the former is endemic mostly to a single mountain region threatened by tourism and land development.
- I thought it was a "pitcher plant."
The jackals can't be contained
Are you a jackal that got lost?
Wrong channel, jackal.
So you're saying it's a member?
Oh, wow. I just realized that Lewis's first guitar is a Univox Custom. How very cool. My first bass as a teen was a Univox Precisely. Great to see him showing some love to such an old guitar.
New Zealand is my favorite place on the planet! Love Jacinda, the people there, the landscape… everything. Love it!!
I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked, trying their darndest, to hammer out another erstwhile Meanwhile
😥😥
Maybe get Ken a specially imported houseplant for his birthday?
I can vouch that at least one jar contained salmonella. We actually got a call from Costco saying, “We see that you bought some Jif peanut butter. You might want to bring that back for a refund. Or die, it’s up to you.“ OK, maybe not that last part.
Wait, don't cry! That was only the last of the _city-owned_ public pay phones. There are still a few private payphones still on public property, and there are four permanent full-length "Superman booths" still out there. They are located on West End Avenue around 66th, 90th, 100th and 101st streets.
Ok ok! Enough of this sex talk ! Geeze I'm in a dry spell ya know! Lol But at 70, it's nice to be reminded of what things look like 👍
I'm torn today... I don't know what's sadder... the T ball kid peaking at 5, by current social standards, or our childish society's need to blip and blur such absurdities...
This was THE BEST “ Meanwhile” intro ever!
When you begin the entrance of the Meanwhile segment, I make a full pot of coffee, toast a poptart & by then, the segment begins!
Everyone deserves to visit NZ once in their life. But please, bearing climate change in mind, only once. And try to limit the rest of your flying too. Best wishes ❤️
The Derek Jeter joke made me laugh out loud.
Same here and I'm a Chipper Jones fan. Go Braves. We are still those Muddafukkas.
Meanwhile is incredible. I love it! 😂
Only Stephen is awesome enough to adlib a Caddyshack character's name on national TV, love it lol
MEANWHILE Has Become EPIC !!! Long Live LSSC
Lmbo I love that they had to blur out a plant 😂
6:47 lolol. I know an old Mainer who, when asked to do yoga, you always say "Yogurt, I had yogurt for breakfast"
Stephen said "everybody go down, you're never going to regret it" 😆
The yoga woman looks pretty much like a Barbie herself!!
And yet the peen plant/flower being held by the woman wasn't blurred? : /
🤫 🤐
Context is everything 😄
The " knock it out the park "Boogie Baby😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I can't explain what the Meanwhile segment has done to my head every time I hear the word meanwhile.
His writers got their groove back!
When did they lose it?
@@comkver 5 minutes before the show. They lost it in the couch cushions, but luckily the hobo from the meanwhile intro found it in time.
His "meanwhile" opening monologue should be too much, but I come to watch meanwhile for it
Absolutely the best intro to Meanwhile ever.
OMG what a brilliant, BRILLIANT opening
I've wanted to go to New Zealand since I was 13. Over 30 years.
About the same for me, though I'm a tad older. One of my favorite books as a young person takes place there, so I wanted to go
I have a new favorite plant now. Thanks, Stephen!
Get your penis fantasies outtake here. GOD DAMMIT CARL.
The preamble / mystic journey tonight was quite an apt description of the process in allegory that you have yet created, Maestro.
Stephen is the Best 😊❤
3:43 sometimes in life you have to walk to your own beat 💓
Best meanwhile intro since... Well, the last one.
Girthy AND veiny. What a plant!
Finally glass. I knew it was coming. So perfect.
We are drowning under the influencer movement. These low self esteem, talentless individuals should get a real job.
One day the meanwhile intro is going to be longer than the actual segment lmao
6:20 I like how that didn't have to be blurred but the first one did
Yes. Yes the jungle IS glad to see you.
So, we blur a plant (as resemblant to a body part as it may be... lemme google it for research purposes), but we don't blur a toy murdering a goat? T-T CBS, I think you should get priorities right.
He always "says" CBS, but it's FCC regulations.
I'm first which means I'm now over educated and too advanced for the Republican nomination..
I'm in the first grade. So I'm the same as a republickin politician. Uh oh, MTG just pooped herself again. Teacher will be mad.
Requirements for Republican Candidate's: 1. IQ below 65 2. Hardcore conspiracy belief 3. Ignore the horrors that your people must endure.
@@ev06863 hey! Stop talking crap about governor DeathSentence!!
That makes absolutely no sense...I see what you were trying to do but...no sense 🤷🏻♂️
The phallic plant is carnivorous 🤣
Big “ foot” laying on his back, in the bush takin’ a nap 😮