Gather Your Party: baldursgate3.game/
Uploaded by popular demand, a very special April 1st announcement from everyone's favourite vampire spawn.
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AAA Game Companies: We don't know what the players want! Meanwhile, Larian:
truth
AAA Game companies : Players want overpriced dlcs, lootboxes and rng competitive multiplayer ! Ftfy
Nah, they know what we want. They just like money more.
I mean, it should be pretty easy to tease stuff like this and put the rest behind a paywall if all they want is money, it's just not *ideal* or whatever, so they'd rather do all the standard stuff
Even their commercials are more entertaining than many AAA games *coughstarfieldcough*.
Like a wise DM once said "We live in horny jail, you can't send us there, we've got the keys"
-Neil Newbon, 2023
Wasn't that Amelia Tyler the narrator VA?
@@ComedyLoverGirl Yeah she said this in one of her outtakes compilation
@@ComedyLoverGirl Yep!
@@DenvaProbablyDraws While that sounds like an Astarion thing to say... nope, it was Amelia Tyler, BG3's narrator!
Still waiting for OnlyFangs to launch. My money is ready
Mine too.
Me three!
et ego, Quartus!
The subreddit is pretty good....🥵
Honestly, if Larian does it and it's Meta AF like this... We would pay money for the laughs, you know we would 😂 But yeah it has to be funny. 😂
I still think it's absolutely insane that they only gave this man 10 charisma. Bravo to the VA Neil because his work makes Astarion sound like pure sex appeal
10 charisma character, 18 charisma voice actor 😂
@@keeper21br18? More like 28 😂
Astarion's Charisma when in your party: 10 Astarion's Charisma when directly interacted with: Yes
To be fair if he was rated on good looks he would get 18 easy, as pretty much the entire party does agree that they would all bed him, heck even Lae'Zel is appreciative of his performance in bed, and she actually means it. They all probably just annoyed to have to deal with his antics on top of their collective problems plus their own problems. But I'm pretty sure they all agree that they all want to fuck him at least once, and pretty sure they all oogle him when he's not looking.
I was genuinely so shocked when I checked his stats 😭
"Hey Neil, it's Sven. We need you to record a few extra lines of dialog."
I think it was the other way around lmao
@@aqua5758honestly yeah 😂
"What do you mean you already - oh wow, that's a pretty large file, we're probably going to have to trim this down a bit."
@@Feasco "Oh wow, that's a pretty large file you've got right there 😏"
I am actually interested in how that conversation went xD
This is what happens when you ask Astarion to stay at camp for way too long. Oh this poor man's sanity.
Astarion is rarely at my camp because I wish to look at him as much as possible, which requires that he be in my party at every conceivable moment.
@@elizabethivy1337I got worried Shadowheart would cockblock me so I sent her back to camp before my character met him 😅 her salt hit different lmao
@@Kwahzutah lmao, I love that you pre-emptively banished her on suspicion alone, that's hilarious --also, completely understandable. Nothing gets between us and Astarion! 🤣
@@elizabethivy1337 update: I didn’t even proposition him and STILL got rejected lmao
Update#2: Stayed in act 1 and lo and behold HE came onto ME! That little liar!!
Lol Astarion trying to milk money out of our blatant thirst for him is...actually very Astarion-esque
He don't milks,... he sucks ... well their last blood 😅
Astarion can milk me it's fine
And I'm here, eagerly awaiting to sign up! Lol
Those that play the game know its actually rather sad
@@SuperHongTay Heartedly agreed.
Bethesda : no we are not thirst trapping! EA : we would never! Larian : Yeah we know what you want. Here is your vampire twink content, you filthy animal.
Freakin hell 😂😂😂😂
On point. 😂
Yes. And Larian, you are correct.
*vampire daddy* He's too old to be a twink lol
@@ElviAlivE By elven standards he's still fairly young. Especially given his age when he was turned and stopped physically aging.
We really are living in a golden age of "hey there horndogs, we see you 😏" and I love it
I spat my drink out to this comment
And yet, triple a developers nowadays are trying to stamp all over that by vilifying any sense of sex appeal in their characters thinking it somehow makes them more substantial. Gods bless developers like Larian for knowing EXACTLY what we want and finding the perfect balance between horny and substantial.
It should be illegal to have as much fun as Neil is having voicing Astarion 🤣🤣🤣
Only reason it isn’t illegal is because the government knows it would be impossible to enforce. All the cops would be seduced.
I am sorry to probably ruin this for you (not really lol) but have you realized that Astarion sounds very similar to Stewie Griffin from Family Guy?
@@87axalI’m going to kms
@@87axal noooo, now I can't unhear that xD
fortunately, i can ignore this lmfaooo but yeah, i can hear the similarities, but it's more mind-blowing for me that this is the same voice actor who played Heisenberg from Resident Evil. Didn't pick up on this til later. @@87axal
You'd expect Gale to start an OF to pay for his magic rock addiction.
I showed you a Weave, please respond -Gale
I too was thinking of using OF to fuel my rock addiction.
@@launalbee927LMAO i just begin wyll origin, not even arrive in goblin camp he already show me a weave, and goddamn camera really closing up to his face looking at wyll, im fucking straight i felt gay lol i immedietly retreated ASAP Planning to do another good durge for gale tho
@@SkinnyBichusyou.. you good man?
@@m1.01zahranormansyah4seriously? Glad to know all straights aren't that fragile.
this genuinely feels like astarion himself doing a commercial. i can almost hear his dramatic sigh the second they stop filming
Astarion would...not be happy about this at all.
I may be a grown woman in my mid 20s, but this still had me squealing, blushing and kicking my feet up
Also... *hesitantly holds up wallet* It's not too late Larian. Not too late... >:D
Oh honey, its got us ladies with a decade on you and more actin silly, too!
My fiancee and friends don't understand my obsession with him. I mean my fiancee doesn't like men so I'll give her a pass but HOW CAN YOU NOT! Every romantic interaction I blush and cover my face and squeal 🤣
I'm a grown woman in my thirties and I still giggled like a schoolgirl! 🤣 you're not alone!
I'm 30 and it's the same for me 😂
that second where he just stands there silently kills me
Yes!!! When he looks to the “other” camera! Lol 😂
If you guys actually made an OnlyFans for Astarion it would probably explode.
Neil Newbon: sweating nervously*
I would explode ;)
i’d sub
Recreating what Markiplier did for charity
Neil seems to enjoy playing Astarion a lot, I think he’d find it entertaining to have a real OnlyFangs for him
Larian knew exactly what they were doing when they made Astarion.
Larian: Dammit, people, this game is missing something, but what? We already have Shadowheart as the secy elf, but it just feels like we're missing some essential ingredient! Dev: So, like, I was playing Dragon Age 2 and, well, can we just add Fenris to the game?
Oh my f*cking gods, that is exactly what happened and no one can tell me otherwise now.
The self awareness of Astarion being a thirst trap is amazing :D
I mean when 70% of your gamer base is all over him, yes.
@@MizuMing only 70%? 🤔
@@Zivilin I want there to be at 'least' a little bit of wiggle room for the other characters. 🤣
@@MizuMing That's fair 😂i can't wait to play the final product of the game
@@Zivilin Same~
Perhaps the most honest interaction with a fanbase ever. Bless you, Larian.
This is my first Larian game that I've ever played and I so hooked that when I stop I am hungry for more. They really know how to put together a story. It feels alot like playing at the table. So much that it made me start to run a 5E game in Ravenloft,
Finish the damn game Larian and stop !@#$ around as usual...
Fangbase*
@@taccntb4345 check out his only fangs
@@taccntb4345 "NO FUN ALLOWED!" Seriously, piss off.
Watching this without knowing Astarion's backstory is hilarious. Watching this knowing Astarion's backstory is just as hilarious but now I also feel bad.
"I don't think I want anyone to think of me in terms of sex" and then you see this :')
@@user-lt1ic4ow3bnnnoooooooo 😭😭😭😭😭 now I’m just thinking about this
He's wildly entertaining either way. But I gotta say I didn't expect for the backstory to be so darn angsty, and would have never thought a character with such a dark AF backstory can be so funny... Like genuinely funny.
@@samf.s.7731really? Trauma makes people funny... I thought that was well known 😅
@@samf.s.7731 traumatized people are either funniest in the room or always grim ones
Me: *Agrees to share playthrough data with Larian* Larian: Me: how did u know 👁👄👁
That pause when he's just standing there with that silly grin lol! 😂
The pause took me out 🤣
I imagine how delighted the voice actor must have been to come back to the studio for these lines :D
Neil the voice actor, recorded these lines back in mid-march. He was super stoked!
Stoker'd? lol
@@mayhem4ever No? Stoked. It means he was excited to do the work.
@@MizuMing Bram Stoker, Dracula, look it up
@@voytazPL and I was supposed to know you were making a Dracula joke seemingly out of a typo how???
They should just get Amelia Tyler voicing over at the end "For just 5.99 a month you too can get... authority."
Freaking brilliant 😂😂😂
I CAN NOT believe they did this, God I love it when a studio and voice actors have a sense of humor
The under construction censorship blanket is just... I love it
Larian knows the true plot of Baldur's Gate 3!
That's not how you should type it, this is how you should type it: "Plot" 😂😂😂😂😂😂
We all know its actually called “Astarion dating simulator” 🙄🙄
HOW AM I ONLY SEEING THIS NOW!?!?! The dev team sure knows how to party. lmao
Larion is not blind, it is very easy to see who carries the game in the eyes of the fanbase. And this is not an insult, i bought the game only because i saw shorts of Astarion, i only realised it has to do with dnd when i had to throw my first dice xD Dangerously efficient that vampire. But now i have 200+ hours in the game and have yet to finish act 3 and i never played anything like it. Absolutely love the game!
As a long time DnD lover and an Astarion fan, I love stories just like this one! ❤
This. Literally this.
Bear scene hype got my attention, DnD was the reason to buy the game and Astarion is sure the MVP here. Though I also fell in love with Halsin and all the Tiefling characters and Aylin & Isobel. 🥰
Man. This, ah, sure does hit different when you've completed his personal quest, huh?
True 😂😢
I was sure all new comments would be about how this didn't age well... but damn, people clearly didn't play his quests or simply doesn't care about his trauma.
@@theresejonsson4726 i havent reached there yet..i find the video funny i shouldnt? 😢
@@theresejonsson4726To be fair, it's just meant to be a silly non-canon video poking fun at the fans' thirst over a fictional man. It's fine to feel uncomfortable given his backstory, but it's also fine to take it for what it is.
@@jadaw644 Absolutely! I can appreciate this as the lighthearted and silly meta humour it's meant to be. It's just hard _not_ to see it in a different light after playing through his story.
I keep forgetting Astarion has a charisma of 10 and keep sending him for persuasion stuff by accident, i am still shocked every time i don't get a modifier.
Rather makes sense. Astarion's whole deal is sort of weird. Like, yes, he's very attractive, but he also comes across as a weirdo.
I mean his voice is seductive but appart from that his lines are corny af + he has no idea what is appropriate to say in public + he's a shit liar 10 feels fair 😂
The smile when he stands there in silence was great
It's as if someone behind the camera said 'smile more' and he hates everything he does there.😂
@@OonalovesAstarionssimpleplan Oh yes, if this was canon Astarion... He wouldn't be doing so well.
We love a developer team who knows their fans enough to give us more thirst traps of the hot flamboyant vampire while making a joke of said thirsting
"I've seen your…art…" Me immediately: *Uh oh*
This is encouraging an already unhealthy Astarion obsession I've developed over this past month. Not that I'm complaining... also, I love this, it's absolutely hilarious 🤣
loool
The visible confusion on his face when he says "like and subscribe...whatever that means" sent me 😂😂😂
That awkward moment at 0:49 is to die for XD
I about DIED laughing... and blushing. "You look good enough to eat" 😳 "I've always been an admirer of the physical form! Necks, ribs, thighs... don't make me choose a favorite!" 😊 "I think with the right inspiration..." 😊 "Come into my world... and invite me into yours!" 😳 " *purrs* I won't bite if you don't..." 😊😊😊 Then the last line happened and I laughed even more. Newbon's talent in selling this whole thing is insane. Everything else about it is also perfect. Oh, Larian, you're so much fun. Don't ever stop doing your thing. 💗
We need Larian to make VTM Bloodlines 2. They know what they are doing when it comes to pleasing their fangs.
that would be awesome... too bad its not going to happen
Uffff a Crpg of vampire.
What we need is for lazy ass Larian to finish this shitshow of a game.
yeah, I was so excited about that game, tho I never finished the first one, but I heard they had some problems with it, some writers kicked or whatever I'm not sure if I remember right.
The game'd be out sooner, that's for sure.
Any other game: People play it for story, graphics and gameplay. Baldurs Gate: People play it for Astarion
I would sign up in a heartbeat. I am down BAD for Astarion
You just know that if Larian actually did this, Astarion would never have to go hungry again! We'd be lined up around the block just to feed him... 💗💗💗
Astarion DLC content right there. 😂
@@Incoherent-excitement DLC: The After Story So much spicy goodness within.
Around the block..? No, around the ENTIRE Lost Realms... THAT'S how many... err.. 'fangs'... Astarion would have! :P
@@linseydejager1716 I mean more along the lines of if he were here in our realm.
@@MizuMing Well, then the line'll be around the planet! 🤣🤣🤣
0:19 "Speaking of forms, I gather you're something of an expert in mine" I see Larian has detected that fan art trend (last stream chat was even joking how the whole stream would be about Astarion, considering the art showcased 😂) 🧛
The rest of the party walking in: “Astarion what are you doing?”
I was giggling at the way astarion posed at "thighs" and then just lost it as soon as OnlyFangs was mentioned 🤣 He probably likes the parts he mentioned because there's arteries in the neck and thighs, and your heart in your ribcage, lol
*slams card on table*
0:49 bro really said ":D"
So this is where the funding came from...
“Whatever that means” lovely 😂
I am guessing this was supposed to be out on April fools but because it's so well made they probably needed more time to finish it ahha.
It was out by April Fools on their Twitter. The description makes it sound like they didn't plan for it to be on KZhead, but released it cause people asked :)
@@varba3835 Ahh ok. I follow them on twitter but must have missed it. Thanks :) Now that you mention it, that makes sense. The contents of this video might not make sense to your average person interested in BG3 xD
why be april fools when we can be fools all year 'round darling?
His smile at 0:50 actually obliterated me lmfao
i'm just gonna... save this for no reason at all.
not me seeing this September 2023 and getting hyped. GODDAM IT
This is why Larian Studios is the best studio there is, we’re so lucky with you working on Baldur’s Gate 3!
Beamdog would have been better
@@stickelsss I see where you're coming from but I still have to disagree. They don't have what it takes.
I still can’t believe Larian made me thirsty for a lizard
Not sure who I love more: Astarion or Neil Newbon 😂
Both 😌
Neil, I mean he's the true heart and soul of Astarion.
Just slap a wig, pointy ears, and a wig on Neil and you’re set!
“Guys, I know exactly how to get people to buy the game.”
“OnlyFangs” has been a running joke at my VtM table for the better part of a year. Finally, an unofficial official in-universe advert for it.
I absoluteley LOVE this character. The others are really awesome, too, but Astarion ist just special!
Thank you Neil for been a true treasure to this world!!!
The fact that this VA is the same one who voiced Gavin Reed and Elijah Kamski in Detroit: Become Human...I love it! I love that game, and this character seems pretty cool too. I'm so happy Neil Newbon is getting to use his voice talents for other games as well! :)
"Don't forget to like and subscribe. ...whatever that means." I'm DEAD
Game of the Year? Yes. Just YES.
the way we ALL would PAY for this
You guys killed me with this. ....so where exactly can I subscribe to his OnlyFangs?
I admire how people are thirsty for Astarion and Shadowheart and simping for them while hating Gale for simping for Tav 😂😂😂 poor lad is just one of us 😂👌
I just love Larian so much, they actually love their games and players. Baldur's Gate 3 is already one of my all time favorite games and the journey of early access has been so amazing with the panels from hell, the patches the theories and the gathering of Astarion Simps :D I think I will remember this time forever. THANK YOU LARIAN for being you ♥
I think I have this video saved to my favorites like three times right now. 💘
@@MizuMing hahaha Same 😂 I mean the way he just stares and smiles into the camera 😂 I can‘t wait to play the full game I hope there will be an Easter egg in the game about onlyfangs 😂
@@Dorklina Yes! The smile and pause has me in stitches. 🤣💕
Neil is a national treasure.
everyone coming back to this video omg
My man really went 😃
i love how the VA was prob 110% down for this lmao
No one simps harder for Astarion than Larian themselves
We can fund BG4 from Asatrion’s OnlyFangs
HOW I HAVE NOT SEEN THIS BEFORE!!!!!!!!
Now THIS is what I call fan service :D or feeding us simps, either way, absolutely hilarious 😂😂
Hearing Asterion say "Don't forget to like and subscribe" just did 6d4 of psychic damage
Neil is never going to be out of a job
I burst out laughing when I saw the "under construction" art 😆
BG3 has many reasons to be GOTY, and this particular video is one of them
I’m only finding this now holy crap 😭😭
As a newly born Astarion Simp™ this hits all the right buttons lmao
the 2 second long smile stare and then him saying “oh dont forget to like and subscribe” for some reason is killing me 💀
Every now and again i come back here to witness this beauty of a video all over again (i am very normal)
Oh, great. Astarion's gonna steal my GF
Steal Astarion first
The animation of the character models got so much better between this video and release! And by that I mean that Astarion is even sexier now.
I love how this showed up in my suggested now
Hey Larian Studios - I know you may never read this, but I wanted to write a little note and this was the best damn video ever. I love the satire, and I love Astarion. I love him because he is the most accurate, full, not perfect victim representation of a SA survivor Spoilers ahead. What did me in was when there was a vulnerable moment with Astarion and if the player chose to have a night with them, the next day, Astarion tells them that they were manipulated into consenting and the player was just like Cazador. I actually wept, because it was just so real. I don’t know who is in the writers room or made this character decision, but please know, from the bottom of my heart, Astarion is the best character I have ever seen. He is the only SA survivor that is as complexly written and accurate in the subtleties I have seen. Thank you, thank you so much.
I’m not an SA survivor, but I have very similar feelings about his character as you do. I have never seen the issue represented this well, even in works that focused entirely on the subject, and to see a character as well written as Astarion in a DnD game is…surreal. Hats off to Larian, truly
What scene was that (with him saying you’re like Cazador)? I don’t remember that
@@ollieisarat It happens if you make him drink the Drow blood alchemist's blood to get the potion. When you go for the long rest there will be an option for interaction with Astarion and if you talk him into having sex with you that night, the next morning he will face Tav and stand up for himself and essentially cut all romance with them because he felt like they had used him just as Casador had because he didn't know how to say NO because till now he didn't have a choice. Honestly it's amazing. I could never do that to him. He deserves to be free, find peace and be happy after all the horrible things he had been put through.
@@daina012 Thanks!
That's my man, and imma stand beside him 🥺♥
how tf did i not know of this????
0:50 that paused smile hahaha Such a good video
If they actually do it, they’d become billionaires
So about a week ago I got this video in my youtube feed and all it shows me now is mostly astarion related, I can't stop watching them 😂
AAAHHH I CAN'T STOP GIGGLING LIKE A LITTLE GIRL HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I LOVE YOU LARIAN
Imma just lay down starfish position 👹 READY FOR THE TAKING
I get the feeling if there was really an onlyfangs featuring Astarion there would be a lot of people paying for it lol
Larian after my own heart.
Ofcourse this shows up on my youtube homepage now
They know exactly what we want
If you think for one moment I would waste money on something so utterly depraved, then you would be absolutely, 100% right.
same
This almost looks like origin character selection introduction! (I also feel like I somehow ended up on the werid side of youtube again)
This dev team is unhinged 💀
Bro heard “cheese!”
I can see why Larian is the most in-touch big game studio around in 2023. Amazing.