How to date, mate, and find fulfillment | Helen Fisher & more

2024 ж. 11 Сәу.
245 389 Рет қаралды

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Up next, Good sex explained in 9 minutes ► • Good sex explained in ...
Is polyamory a sustainable model for societies? Do partners really need to maintain the "spark" to have a healthy sex life? And should sex, romantic love, and attachment be viewed as phases of a relationship or as systems in the brain?
As modern science continues to illuminate the timeless experiences of sex and love, we're learning more about the nature of healthy relationships and the often counterintuitive ways individuals can maximize both sexual pleasure and fulfillment in relationships.
In this Big Think video, we explore all of the above through insights from anthropologist Helen Fisher, journalist Louise Perry, sex educator Emily Nagoski, primatologist Frans de Waal, and author Richard Reeves who examine sex and relationships across three key domains: your brain, your bedroom, and your society.
Read the video transcript ► bigthink.com/series/the-big-t...
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About Helen Fisher:
Helen E. Fisher, Ph.D. biological anthropologist, is a Senior Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, and a Member of the Center For Human Evolutionary Studies in the Department of Anthropology at Rutgers University. She has written six books on the evolution, biology, and psychology of human sexuality, monogamy, adultery and divorce, gender differences in the brain, the neural chemistry of romantic love and attachment, human biologically-based personality styles, why we fall in love with one person rather than another, hooking up, friends with benefits, living together and other current trends, and the future of relationships - what she calls: slow love.
About Louise Perry:
Louise Perry is a writer and campaigner based in London, UK. She is a columnist at the New Statesman and a features writer for the Daily Mail. Her debut book, The Case Against the Sexual Revolution: A New Guide to Sex in the 21st Century, is published by Polity.
About Emily Nagoski:
Emily Nagoski is the award-winning author of the New York Times bestselling Come As You Are and The Come As You Are Workbook, and coauthor, with her sister, Amelia, of New York Times bestseller Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. She earned an M.S. in counseling and a Ph.D. in health behavior, both from Indiana University, with clinical and research training at the Kinsey Institute. Now she combines sex education and stress education to teach women to live with confidence and joy inside their bodies. She lives in Massachusetts with two dogs, a cat, and a cartoonist.

Пікірлер
  • I'm pretty busy with food and shelter at the moment

    @GreyCrowe@GreyCrowe28 күн бұрын
    • Not busy enough tho.

      @expeditioner9322@expeditioner932228 күн бұрын
    • ​@@expeditioner9322i'm cooking breakfast actually

      @GreyCrowe@GreyCrowe28 күн бұрын
    • Wht u cooking?

      @sagarpandey456@sagarpandey45628 күн бұрын
    • Lol

      @osamaqtaitat@osamaqtaitat28 күн бұрын
    • ​@@sagarpandey456eggs, toast w olive oil

      @GreyCrowe@GreyCrowe28 күн бұрын
  • Yes, adults, you need money to have your best possible relationship. Money pays for meal dates, transportation, and everything else. You can have a relationship without such means, but there will be additional stress. Women are often attracted to confidence. Even if you don't feel that you are worthy of being a clothing model, you can exercise and practice strength training regularly. Plenty of women are attracted to muscular men, and this should increase your confidence. Most humans are attracted to honesty, reliability, kindness, openness and loyalty. If she is attracted to traits in opposition of the ones I just mentioned, maybe consider someone else. Women are looking for partners they can survive with, raise healthy children with, have stimulating conversations with. Do what you can to improve yourself mentally, physically and spiritually or philosophically. Be patient. Learn. Grow. If you are overzealous, it may lead to dishonesty. You should be authentic from the moment you meet. Don't portray yourself to be someone you aren't. It could cause serious issues later in the relationship when she finds out you were putting on a front. Relax, be yourself, and have a good time.

    @aboveaverage3748@aboveaverage374824 күн бұрын
    • This is something that isn't talked about. Like how is someone supposed to date if they are broke, or don't have a Car in a society where Cars are like nessessary at this point. How do you date if you don't have your own place, if everyone expects you to have a Car, Money, a Private space, and of course, non-existent dating experience.

      @EntertainingRunner-vd3bn@EntertainingRunner-vd3bn23 күн бұрын
    • And what are the requirements for a woman?

      @user-ym5on6hl5w@user-ym5on6hl5w23 күн бұрын
    • ​@@EntertainingRunner-vd3bn My recommendation for someone in their 20s who is broke, carless, etc.? Single moms 30+ openly looking for short-term fun. Since you're not a potential stepdad, those "expectations" you list suddenly aren't as important anymore. She'll always have her own place to go back to with you, and the familiarity can help her feel safer and more relaxed. She might want you out in the morning before her kid gets back from their sleepover and avoid any unnecessary questions, so there's usually a cap on how much time you need to put in. It's not long-term, so you just need enough money for one or two dates (and maybe subsequent booty-call Ubers). You're younger, which is a sexual plus and a big ego boost for her. She's obviously had sex at least one time, and usually at that age a woman is pretty comfortable and experienced with sex. I think you'd also be surprised how many single moms LOVE the idea of being a young guy's first and showing him the ropes. They are at their sexual peaks but also have that nurturing side activated, so being young and inexperienced on a guys' end makes for an interesting pairing. As a bonus they usually have lots of snacks, too lol. You're not really doing it to "date", but you still get the social and sexual experience for actual dating later on. Fwiw, I was in that *exact* situation in my 20s and single moms did the trick for me.

      @johnwinkowski3154@johnwinkowski315423 күн бұрын
    • Fantastic take. Every male has their work cut out for them. Now, as someone posted below, what's the other side's work to do look like after this list?

      @abigaelbalbuena1917@abigaelbalbuena191722 күн бұрын
    • Interesting. You started this comment with "Adults" but the rest of it was advice to men ;) maybe it's not a message to adults, but to men? Which would mean women don't have as much asked of them, but you don't want to admit that.

      @opencase9903@opencase990321 күн бұрын
  • This is one of my favorite Big Thinks. Such an important topic. Such an essential conversation, largely absent. And Emily is the epitomy of a top-notch speaker, educator, advocate; just a rock-star level type of gal. I love just knowing that she's out there teaching every day. Bang-up job.

    @kristinhess1704@kristinhess170419 күн бұрын
    • The obsessions with self and sex are the curses of the age. Give to your community.

      @gregvanpaassen@gregvanpaassenКүн бұрын
    • @@gregvanpaassen you took the lyrics straight out of my songbook.

      @elbretto6062@elbretto60623 сағат бұрын
  • Very deep video I have to watch this video twice Thank you Bigthink for making this video ❤

    @Mr.Saiful@Mr.Saiful27 күн бұрын
  • So appreciative for this collage video that help us build and maintain one of *the* most relationships in our lives. Thank you BigThink!!!

    @AnnaC330@AnnaC33022 күн бұрын
  • “Mental health care is a necessity 😄… but, you have to pay for it like it’s a commodity… here’s 10% off! 🤑”

    @B.Whittaker@B.Whittaker28 күн бұрын
    • what are you even talking about, is food free?

      @marsdriver2501@marsdriver25012 күн бұрын
    • @@marsdriver2501 food is free for some gents.

      @elbretto6062@elbretto60623 сағат бұрын
  • The comment section is WILD. Y'all need hugs or something. 😅✌

    @l01230123@l0123012327 күн бұрын
    • I think what we all need is SEX. 😬

      @invox9490@invox949026 күн бұрын
    • I don’t see anything wild? What’s going on?

      @user-yh1nm1vy3i@user-yh1nm1vy3i25 күн бұрын
    • Where is the hug

      @Kavaitsu@Kavaitsu24 күн бұрын
    • ​@@user-yh1nm1vy3i Well, there's that recent comment about necro and r@pe, people saying the speakers are mentally I'll, and blatant sexism.

      @l01230123@l0123012324 күн бұрын
    • ​@@Kavaitsu🫂 That's the best I can do from an internet away 😅

      @l01230123@l0123012324 күн бұрын
  • Men we need women. Dont give up kings. You deserve a queen and she deserves you. Also Betterhelp is trash. Speaking from experience. I just choose to believe the right thoughts and ive healed so many areas of my life over the past couple years. You got this kings and to any ladies reading this I appreciate you all you lovely babes.

    @josiahamaze@josiahamaze27 күн бұрын
    • Women openly say that they dont need us though.

      @cseptember6562@cseptember656227 күн бұрын
    • ​@@cseptember6562 strawman arguments from twitter don't represent reality

      @Outstanding_Gal@Outstanding_Gal27 күн бұрын
    • @rheanarula9643@rheanarula964326 күн бұрын
    • Women openly say that they dont need men though...

      @cseptember6562@cseptember656226 күн бұрын
    • @cseptember6562 nope, just some nobody's on twitter

      @Outstanding_Gal@Outstanding_Gal26 күн бұрын
  • She gets more beautiful as she ages. The epitome of a Sage. Thank you, Helen.

    @michellecook-hill431@michellecook-hill43113 күн бұрын
  • Nice, y’all. Colossal conciseness 😊

    @WarrenByrdSpeak@WarrenByrdSpeak23 күн бұрын
  • Great work 👏

    @KrisS447@KrisS44724 күн бұрын
  • I agree with the supernatural part cuz it IS a miracle for all of us to find a right partner and it feels miraculous when we see someone eye to eye. You can never forget that experience: the connection. - but I agree with the process can be scientifically proven too!

    @neon_nana@neon_nana25 күн бұрын
    • yes but not only 1 when you have 8 billion... sorry

      @jmipraimundo@jmipraimundo21 күн бұрын
  • Wow, thank you for sharing your study 📚

    @ZaharaReign@ZaharaReign28 күн бұрын
  • Emily Nagoski absolutely nails it here. I stood up and clapped. 👏👏👏

    @GetToZeeChoppa@GetToZeeChoppa23 күн бұрын
  • How do you find someone to do it with though?

    @TheKeirsunishi@TheKeirsunishi28 күн бұрын
    • By being genuine/authentic and a little brave.

      @BitterDawn@BitterDawn28 күн бұрын
    • Walk down the street with a crisp $100 dollar bill, flapping in the breeze

      @ricardoconqueso@ricardoconqueso28 күн бұрын
    • Too difficult, I'll just wait for my AI girlfriend. Hopefully they make it ultra realistic such that I have to skip Saturday's to watch reruns of that Ru Paul show

      @larry6597@larry659728 күн бұрын
    • ​@@larry6597married?

      @miftarisq2068@miftarisq206827 күн бұрын
    • First thing is that should not be the goal. The goal should be the best version of yourself and a wonderful woman will see and become the apple of your eye. "Do it with" How romantic. I don't understand how women aren't just lined up around the corner for your attention. DAF

      @glendakillough6726@glendakillough672627 күн бұрын
  • Insightful 😊

    @mollycrisostomo1954@mollycrisostomo19542 күн бұрын
  • made me remember my ex friend that I loved, when he rejected me he said: "I will make u hate me!" in a way to make me stop loving him and be just friends or leave him alone.. uneducated person, he made me think that I am a stalker and a obsessed to a dangerous level which I wasn't, so glad to see a great person and prof here like Helen give people who are like me respect. thank u prof!

    @spaceshipastro@spaceshipastro17 күн бұрын
  • Great content

    @simonszabo990@simonszabo99016 күн бұрын
  • Big Think, as much as I like your videos, I can’t believe you’ve accepted BetterHelp as a sponsor. Especially after everything they’ve done

    @erinc492@erinc49227 күн бұрын
    • What did they do?

      @AndradaBalteanu@AndradaBalteanu26 күн бұрын
    • @@AndradaBalteanu Apparently they have done "everything". Looks and feels like a bad-will campaign though... mental health is a very difficult arena, I give them that!

      @TMK1450@TMK145025 күн бұрын
    • @@TMK1450 haven't found what they did...

      @AndradaBalteanu@AndradaBalteanu25 күн бұрын
    • @@AndradaBalteanu me neither. Maybe @erinc492 can help?

      @TMK1450@TMK145024 күн бұрын
    • Takes literally 10 seconds to Google or KZhead it.​@@AndradaBalteanu

      @sohu86x@sohu86x23 күн бұрын
  • Followed Emily on Twitter for years and now I know why 👍🏿

    @bigmo10@bigmo1016 күн бұрын
  • thank you for these beautiful lessons

    @catalicul@catalicul28 күн бұрын
  • Love the woman talking about poly X monogamy... completely disregarding that nowadays we don't talk about polygyny. It's not about men having multiple women. It's about decentralization of relationships. You can't really compare to men marrying 14 women... under 16... that s just off the point

    @alybeer4559@alybeer455922 күн бұрын
    • and also that it works better on the contrary for women to also have several partners...since before they were slaves to just one!

      @jmipraimundo@jmipraimundo21 күн бұрын
    • Yeah that was disturbing. No shit a man having 10 slaves, I mean underage “wives” (expendable brood mares) isn’t going to create a equal or happy society…umm? i thought we discovered that centuries ago!

      @samaraisnt@samaraisnt18 күн бұрын
    • Exactly, her segment was my least favorite and the least scientifically accurate. Also monogamy is not the biological standard and never has ever been. It’s only been customary maybe for the last 50 years or so. Men cheating has always been socially acceptable including in the Biblical sense. Frowned on but not that big of a deal. Different story for women. Women’s sexual fidelity was based on necessity not biology. The more societal and economic freedoms women have the more likely her cheating starts to increase and comes closer to how often men do it. It’s a matter of not getting stoned to death, outcast or assaulted rather than biology.

      @umohluna@umohluna11 күн бұрын
  • how do I get someone tho, it's been hard on the streets

    @pedrosouza5599@pedrosouza559925 күн бұрын
  • Why are responses getting hidden?

    @vagabondfeet@vagabondfeet26 күн бұрын
  • That bit about Christianity and monogamy was an eye opener

    @HouseOfAliShali@HouseOfAliShali2 күн бұрын
  • Thank you for saying what we as a partner,but first i need to get a partner for this 😅.

    @jerryphilips9346@jerryphilips93469 күн бұрын
  • Very interesting talk, but background music is a bit too loud and competing with my tinnitus 😅

    @x2oChannel@x2oChannel21 күн бұрын
  • With the way inflation, unemployment, and housing costs are looming in everybody’s wallet, soon, these love anecdotes will be what we only dream about and archived. Let’s call it the caveman love style: focus on food and shelter. 😅

    @emydpham@emydpham27 күн бұрын
    • 💯

      @SuperYogagirl@SuperYogagirl23 күн бұрын
  • I can't even imagine how I could have the time or energy to focus on love and sex, lol 😂 I live in a city where rent is $3k for a one bedroom, food is sky high and living expenses. I envy the young people who can live in a high sex drive and put fun as a priority.

    @SuperYogagirl@SuperYogagirl27 күн бұрын
    • Find someone you can split the costs with that you like and you can go at it like rabbits

      @MarketWizard546@MarketWizard54627 күн бұрын
    • Literally move. Life is not worth that level of suffering. Where i live (South MI), 3k is rent, all my bills and all the groceries I could ever want. We choose our suffering, therefore we choose our salvation

      @Skochel@Skochel27 күн бұрын
    • @@Skochel hah I lived in southeast Michigan

      @MarketWizard546@MarketWizard54627 күн бұрын
    • @@MarketWizard546 it’s not bad, I grew up & currently live near A2. Lots of retirement/suburban housing with the focus shifting to family oriented education

      @Skochel@Skochel27 күн бұрын
    • Look how everybody started lecturing what you should and shouldn't do. If she could've she would've.

      @sageofsixpaths98@sageofsixpaths9826 күн бұрын
  • We are in the vanity phase of Universe 25. It's so sad what the dating world has become. I genuinely feel like I left the last helicopter out of Vietnam. Think about what you can provide instead of what you deserve. Providing isn't always in the material. Advice coming from a stay at home dad with 2 kids.

    @sunbather616@sunbather61628 күн бұрын
    • ironically i am living in vietnam right now in my mid 20s and dating has been pretty damn fruitful for me lmao. maybe at this point it's time to get the last chopper IN

      @jamontoast@jamontoast27 күн бұрын
  • Love in the higher power 💪

    @hekam@hekam23 күн бұрын
  • 14:34 why is there Epicuro? Can someone explain me what he has to do with what she's talking about?

    @movimientoinformativo5314@movimientoinformativo53145 күн бұрын
  • Tbh Emily Nagoski could’ve done this whole vid. The others were great but what they resonated with me

    @Justmegaming404@Justmegaming40420 күн бұрын
    • Huh... I felt the same about Helen Fisher.

      @troynix215@troynix21517 күн бұрын
  • How do you know which is which?

    @PetraKann@PetraKann28 күн бұрын
    • whats the context to that question

      @mars_mellow5842@mars_mellow584221 күн бұрын
  • Co create a context that allows both of their brains to have access to pleasure “ amazing phrase

    @estefanianempequemorales6285@estefanianempequemorales62852 күн бұрын
  • 9:00 *Magic trio* 18:00 It’s a brain process

    @alphabeta8403@alphabeta840328 күн бұрын
    • its different views of the same topic from three different professionals. The video is made to show you different views on it so you can better formulate your own opinion on the subject.

      @mars_mellow5842@mars_mellow584221 күн бұрын
  • All it comes down to is a match of personality/temperament and money. But if you have no money you can’t be a provider.

    @c2819fnf@c2819fnf15 күн бұрын
  • Amazing video! Education truly worthy of modern days

    @navineon4961@navineon496128 күн бұрын
  • It's striking the epistemological gaps between the 3 speakers, very telling of the different perspectives culture has assumed in each generation. The first lady sounds very much like a boomer, traditional but easy-going and open-minded, scientifically grounded and optimistic, if too positivistic. I applaud her neurological expertise, but she won't go deep enough if she thinks the brain is what it all boils down to. The brain is but an amazing tool, a wonderful mechanism, a means to an end. The last lady, a GenZer I suppose, sounds like a flamboyant Instagram influencer to me. So mechanistic, schematic, it feels as though she thinks people should manipulate one another with therapytalk for commodifying bodies into sex toys to serve our pleasure for as long as it's worthwhile, idolizing the power of "rationality" (most often, a disguise to manipulation). A shallow pedantic narcissistic faker, or a postmodern psychologist, and a quintessential citizen of the clown world we've built in the West. To me Louise Perry has the ultimate realistic, grounded perspective that rises high above scientism, marketing and ego catering to frankly address human nature and the facts of history. It'd be wise to seek more of her brilliance. There's no healthy sexuality without connection through meaning; human connection is basically a spiritual endeavour. You should feel like you are sharing a common story in which the moment just drags each other closer. Animal magnetism. Sex starts with the gaze and the build-up of tension that comes with honest exchange. Like happiness is an epiphenomenon, sex should be just the cherry on top of a meaningful encounter. A celebration of life and happenstance, ideally consummating and deepening a proper relationship. The moment just happens when you can't help but bond, feeling like a child that's curious and willing to play. Not necessarily because you have found the "right person", but that you both were lucky enough to have met someone you're able to trust, and feel vulnerably and adventurously naked with, caring for and deserving of each other, so you can surrender and leap together into the unknown with true engagement and compassion. Or just someone to have fun and joy with, fully immersed in the moment, not escaping from yourself with the latest drug. Pleasure is not the goal but a bonus, a collateral effect. It's not about mind and thoughts but spirit and movement. Like the poetry of rivers merging, an intuitive erasure of edges and selves, a melting unceremoniously and unpretentiously into one ecstatic dancer that flows seamlessly in-between. Tantra? It's way more an art, or ritual, than a "science of pleasure and mating". Kudos to Louise.

    @vieiradelimafilho@vieiradelimafilho14 күн бұрын
    • Great way to put it.!

      @703390@7033907 күн бұрын
    • Best comment EVER, thanks!

      @gborsonello@gborsonello3 күн бұрын
  • Ms. Fischer saying that she had a great childhood makes me think about Albert Camus saying that happy and healthy people who dominate their lives are the best people to help those in need or struggling. Which means that we should strive to be as healthy and happy as possible in order to be fit enough to help each other. ❤

    @marina-6922@marina-692228 күн бұрын
  • Everytime they mention Brain and simultaneously show a CT of lung and liver, it bothers me..

    @doctordhruv2595@doctordhruv259521 күн бұрын
  • Why didn’t they address other forms of polyamory there other types besides polygamy like polycules or not just one guy a ton of women it’s not allways like that

    @CrescentPaws5000@CrescentPaws500024 күн бұрын
    • Primates dont know how to do monogamy...😂 We are from their family 😉 Was religion and opression men women that obligate a master and a slaver. If today we can transform Patriarchy to Matriarch everyone will be more prosperous happy and no violence😉

      @jmipraimundo@jmipraimundo21 күн бұрын
    • yeah the speaker should have talked about it in more detail

      @mars_mellow5842@mars_mellow584221 күн бұрын
  • Huey Lewis was right

    @johns1139@johns113924 күн бұрын
  • 13:45 wildly untrue that only males of high status had access to women slaves! It wasn’t frowned upon for women with high status to carry the children of their slaves as well.

    @augustbjeilkjr737@augustbjeilkjr7374 күн бұрын
  • The self-reporting in these comments is pretty hilarious, ngl

    @travonomenon@travonomenon28 күн бұрын
    • The incels flocked in droves to this video. Probably got linked on 4chan lol

      @B.Whittaker@B.Whittaker28 күн бұрын
    • ​@@B.Whittaker"if i don't like your take on sexuality that means you're an incel" 😂

      @jurassicthunder@jurassicthunder28 күн бұрын
    • @@jurassicthunder sexuality? No one is speculating on whether you’re gay or not lol

      @B.Whittaker@B.Whittaker28 күн бұрын
    • ​@@B.Whittakerthe whole video is about sex. are you trying to tell us something? don't be afraid I'm not homophobic like you.

      @jurassicthunder@jurassicthunder28 күн бұрын
    • ​@@B.Whittakerthe whole video is about sex. are you trying to tell us something? don't be afraid I'm not h-phobic like you.

      @jurassicthunder@jurassicthunder28 күн бұрын
  • 👏🏼

    @wassabied@wassabied28 күн бұрын
  • Turn down the music please.

    @spencer6683@spencer66832 күн бұрын
  • Turn the freaking music down

    @matthewschuessler4422@matthewschuessler442223 күн бұрын
    • Nah this music hittin rn

      @sencrew5293@sencrew529311 күн бұрын
    • 😂😂😂

      @skinnyprince@skinnyprince3 күн бұрын
  • Ride the fear. Ask her to ask you. QED.

    @thetruther954@thetruther9542 күн бұрын
  • "When you put the neutral and the romantic love on top of each other and cancel out what they have in common, you left on whats going in the brain when you madly in love, " She said. I don't have to be a scientist to know that this idea of encapsulating what romantic love is false. First, it seems too simplistic and idealistic to just deduct from a picture what the complex wiring is the brain doing for "love." I think Helen's idea of what is romantic love is is not complete, it is false to just depend and name love by looking at pictures and cancel each other and whatever left think that is love. It is too easy to be true, from history we have found that thing are way more complex than just simple thesis like Helen's.

    @rodrigocamacho8834@rodrigocamacho88343 күн бұрын
  • My ex left me twice for another partner. Love is a joke.

    @khoakdoan@khoakdoan27 күн бұрын
    • It's just you're a joke, not love.

      @Spaghetti-kun@Spaghetti-kun26 күн бұрын
    • Sorry you went through this, try not to let them kill love for you, its them that's the issue

      @novacaine_@novacaine_26 күн бұрын
    • Never give someone the opportunity of dumping you twice, once is enought

      @FantasmaRadioattivo@FantasmaRadioattivo25 күн бұрын
    • Nah bro the 2nd one was on you. U played ur self

      @adukalu168@adukalu16824 күн бұрын
    • @@Spaghetti-kun😂

      @benfelps@benfelps21 күн бұрын
  • Not sure if I agree with what Louise is saying, but I love the other two!

    @justa_stranger_@justa_stranger_28 күн бұрын
    • I definitely don’t. Polyamory has nothing to do with polygyny

      @LouiseEnriconi@LouiseEnriconi27 күн бұрын
  • Fulfillment I will only find in large scale medieval warfare on a green grass field inside of gothic armor

    @hakijin@hakijin8 күн бұрын
  • Although i hope to meet my soulmate or have a relationship im currently focused on getting a job and on my mental & physical health but obviously back of the mind i dream of going to movies , beaches, or just cuddling nothing else, with that special EMPRESS _idk where the fock is she?_

    @lavatr8322@lavatr8322Күн бұрын
  • Absolutely, sex has a biological function aimed at continuing the species. However, people tends to abuse the sexual faculty. People tends to use the faculty solely for the pleasure it gives. If that will be the case, the faculty is misused.

    @borrico1965@borrico19653 күн бұрын
  • The first guest of three knew her stuf at least.

    @troynix215@troynix21517 күн бұрын
  • Pleasure of Youth ! 🎋❤️🎋

    @RobiulIslam-nj4fw@RobiulIslam-nj4fw28 күн бұрын
  • Fuck I wish I was better looking so I can get what I want and be miserable in a relationship I initially really wanted.

    @bernardthefourth@bernardthefourth27 күн бұрын
    • Then start working out, take care of your hygiene and dress better. You got this

      @Outstanding_Gal@Outstanding_Gal27 күн бұрын
  • "Novelty, Novelty, Novelty"

    @prometheusrising13@prometheusrising1328 күн бұрын
  • I wish I could get a degree to spout platitudes like these speakers

    @alg11297@alg1129728 күн бұрын
    • The first speaker had years of solid research that was backed up by scientific study and conclusions. If all you took away was platitudes, you missed the point. Doesnt sound like you actually care about education or learning.

      @ricardoconqueso@ricardoconqueso28 күн бұрын
  • terrible sound mix

    @namadekisufa@namadekisufa28 күн бұрын
    • Only under-sexed people think the sound mix was bad

      @ricardoconqueso@ricardoconqueso28 күн бұрын
  • If they don't bring up how much resources you need to have in the western world to be comfortable in a relationship then they are missing a big chunk of what makes a relationship successful at beginning, the middle and the end because most relationships change and they may not be romantic but that can be an AWESOME friend!

    @teacake6941@teacake694120 күн бұрын
  • @AliHussein30605@AliHussein3060515 сағат бұрын
  • Using examples of polygyny to explain why polyamory wouldn’t be a good idea seems strange, to say the very least. Polygyny has nothing (or very little) to do with polyamory as it’s being discussed nowadays in progressist groups.

    @LouiseEnriconi@LouiseEnriconi27 күн бұрын
  • @atomafotos@atomafotos8 күн бұрын
  • What if it’s not love , and it’s just a conditional response 😂

    @A861967@A86196723 күн бұрын
  • Most guys, particularly those who self-identify as MGTOW have already bailed out of the dating market.

    @joelharris4399@joelharris439928 күн бұрын
    • More for me!

      @VoteBidentoSaveDemocracy@VoteBidentoSaveDemocracy28 күн бұрын
    • These guys are merely closeted asexuals.

      @Outstanding_Gal@Outstanding_Gal28 күн бұрын
    • ​@@VoteBidentoSaveDemocracy you wish 😂 if you're average looking, you ain't getting any. except when they are looking to SETTLE down. 💰

      @jurassicthunder@jurassicthunder28 күн бұрын
    • @@jurassicthunder 🤑🤑 money talks and money walks

      @joelharris4399@joelharris439928 күн бұрын
    • ​@@Outstanding_Galoh yeah classic "if you don't like me then you're gay" 😂 you just can't bear the idea that men might not be interested in you for your character.

      @jurassicthunder@jurassicthunder28 күн бұрын
  • It’s so strange how so many topics and so many speakers can be presented so one dimensional. Mmmh.

    @drradon@drradon22 күн бұрын
  • Brother is usinf the term "mate" im sure they never touched a women

    @Schweizer_Politik@Schweizer_Politik25 күн бұрын
  • Just to clarify: you don't kill for love...that's not love

    @BerlinaDice@BerlinaDice27 күн бұрын
    • I feel like you can kill FOR love, but not out of love.

      @julesoul@julesoul26 күн бұрын
    • I think it's a situation in which your partner is in danger, and you actually kill the threat to protect them. These so called "crimes of passion" do not represent love. It's jealousy and control, not love.

      @GGFarofa@GGFarofa25 күн бұрын
    • So you wouldnt kill someone who was trying to murder your mom? Can’t relate…

      @samaraisnt@samaraisnt18 күн бұрын
  • Has anyone looked into the way Islam conveys marriage?

    @supremekakarot@supremekakarot21 күн бұрын
    • What makes you ask this question?

      @rmmr1168@rmmr116818 күн бұрын
    • @@rmmr1168 Because it’s almost like Islam has the solutions to these issues 😀

      @supremekakarot@supremekakarot18 күн бұрын
  • Honey

    @MrVisionDPB@MrVisionDPB26 күн бұрын
  • Don't confuse romance and Noble Love ❤️‍🔥🗿🦅

    @tharakabasuru@tharakabasuru24 күн бұрын
  • "Maximize sex & love" ok.. "How to date, mate, and..." Hmph... This is a very nice topic. I would give a damn if I wasn't the lonely ass I am... See you on the next video BigThink (click Next)

    @monsieuralex974@monsieuralex97427 күн бұрын
  • I know all this. I know who i am, what I'm capable of, what I want, what I'm willing to do, and what i refuse to do. Flirting and approaching is easy enough. But guess what my problem is?... I GOT NO FU**ING MONEY! C'mon, how many relationships have you seen fail due to money? That means any relationship i enter won't be sustainable long term until i fix this. I mean unless someone can prove to me otherwise.

    @AceKite00@AceKite0028 күн бұрын
    • Then you actually don’t have the means to connect intimately, or you feel as if you may not be entirely deserving of it, because of the added stress of financial security. Like Louise mentioned the offs also need to be turned off, couple that with possible trauma, and you’re likely less in-tuned than you think you are. Ultimately, you’re still deserving of a loving and sexually fulfilling connection regardless of your financial status.

      @goldenwolf90@goldenwolf9028 күн бұрын
    • Then get a job 🤷‍♂️

      @Outstanding_Gal@Outstanding_Gal28 күн бұрын
    • Money is a construct and it's something the western world has trapped you with. If you already possess the self-awareness of your situation, it would be best for you to attempt to connect with someone sharing your same situation. If you're lucky enough to find someone to share goals with you, then perhaps coupling together and working towards that common goal will help. The problem with western society is that both genders have an expectation when it comes dating and we don't have the self awareness to see that we are all a work in progress.

      @sunbather616@sunbather61628 күн бұрын
    • If you have a good enough personality, you don't need money dude. Even if youre wealthy, most women, if they figure out that youre not much more than just money and have nothing else to offer, will leave. If you can offer something that can't be bought at a store, youre golden

      @ricardoconqueso@ricardoconqueso28 күн бұрын
    • ​@@goldenwolf90cap. women still wouldn't date someone long term if he has no money or is not willing to make it in the future.

      @jurassicthunder@jurassicthunder28 күн бұрын
  • The argument against polyamory didn’t make sense. She was equating a sexist form of polygamy (men exploiting and abusing women as they liked) with modern polyamory. But they are very different things. First is that women are now allowed to have multiple relationships without persecution. We do not need christianization to have morals and justice within our relationships. But we do need to keep moving forward. It cannot be like it was in the past. Women and nonbinary folks will and must enjoy the same freedoms as men. And that can include relationship structures outside of restrictive and gender-roled monogamy.

    @meaganvogel5436@meaganvogel543623 күн бұрын
    • Go for it....❤

      @jmipraimundo@jmipraimundo21 күн бұрын
  • Sex doesn't last that long and it takes for ever to get in the mood for it, either I have low T or I'm just a simple man cuz all I want is to share food with someone and cuddle, I'm pretty much satisfied after that and our clothes wouldn't even have to come off 😂

    @KhalCrochet@KhalCrochet26 күн бұрын
  • Not me trying to learn about sex and dating from a blue hair girl 😐✨

    @archieese9176@archieese91763 күн бұрын
  • I really do not like the implication that polygamy and polyamory are synonymous. it feels similar to criticizing monogamy because of the marriage expectations historically placed on women. polygamy reflects certain very niche groups of nonmonogamists, but many polyamorous people exist in relationships that do not revolve around possession and hierarchy that way polygamy does, often existing outside of the standards and dynamics of step parenting in the traditional sense.

    @elenaburge8801@elenaburge880121 күн бұрын
  • Don't know why, but this video makes me a little sad. So much advice, huge dating business, money spent in vain, addiction, reproduction, Darwin, chemical brain reactions...

    @nias3202@nias320223 күн бұрын
  • I used to like Big thinks videos a lot but this one sort of opened up the door to see that there’s a very institutionalized and traditional perspective to them. It amazed me how they picked female experts to support the idea of a “biological” and “sociological” superiority of monogamy not only using papers and experiments that are over 40 years old but trying to expand the xenophobia against groups of people that choose to live in non traditional ways of relationships, justifying them as more “violent” and aggressive to children???? I see so much judeo-christian bio politics being used here that it makes me sad.

    @ricardocorral6701@ricardocorral670121 күн бұрын
  • „Brain system“ sounds odd given the fact that brains are the most malleable organs of animal life.

    @Namuchat@Namuchat22 күн бұрын
  • Louise Perry is one of the sexiest people I've ever seen.

    @juniorphiri2561@juniorphiri256127 күн бұрын
    • * sexist

      @mateusantoni136@mateusantoni13624 күн бұрын
  • Ah yes, THE SEGGS

    @Sa1ntV1cious@Sa1ntV1cious23 күн бұрын
  • I think in Islam more than complete and spesific how to learn all of think, you must try to reading Holy Qur'an to found the answer.😊

    @achmed_real@achmed_real25 күн бұрын
  • I DON'T AGREE WITH THE SECOND promiscuous woman.

    @linli6012@linli601224 күн бұрын
    • Of course not....but you are a men who had a slave woman who satisfy you.. I have a lot of live for more...and They are so happy....dont be restrain to a so religion ideia....love all ❤

      @jmipraimundo@jmipraimundo21 күн бұрын
  • Monogamy more stable more peaceful,more prosperous 😂....yes when one is a slave to the other... How a women can said that? like in religion this works so well because one obey to other. But for human may be we can be like bonobos Our ancestors... who are matriarchs, there is no violence and sex is free and you can have it with whoever you want without any problems. ❤

    @jmipraimundo@jmipraimundo21 күн бұрын
  • So, let me get this straight: the America of the 'real man' and the 'real woman' needs help on this? Okay. What happened before you knew what to do? Oh yes, you didn't. Possibly time to stop aiming for awards and just get with someone on your wavelength. I am frankly astounded that I need to say it....

    @alexfletcher5192@alexfletcher519227 күн бұрын
    • Who told you they didn't need advice back then?

      @Outstanding_Gal@Outstanding_Gal27 күн бұрын
  • Big think. Nope. This episode feels more like ... Little Willie think

    @__cypher__@__cypher__12 күн бұрын
  • Brace yourselves, incels and virgins are going to ruin this comment section

    @Outstanding_Gal@Outstanding_Gal28 күн бұрын
    • hoes mad.

      @jurassicthunder@jurassicthunder28 күн бұрын
    • @jurassicthunder it's just an observation my dude. Peace ✌️

      @Outstanding_Gal@Outstanding_Gal28 күн бұрын
    • They have already ruined it 😅

      @talkingtochapri@talkingtochapri28 күн бұрын
    • A little late to be making this comment. But you tried.

      @VoteBidentoSaveDemocracy@VoteBidentoSaveDemocracy28 күн бұрын
    • Nice, dehumanize the suffering. I bet you torture animals.

      @ominousbiscuit@ominousbiscuit28 күн бұрын
  • 8:00 Not 'everyone' feels it. There are people who are asexual/aromantic. I don't doubt her research, but she's disregarding some percentage of the population.

    @ManyGhosts@ManyGhosts26 күн бұрын
    • We all feel romantic love...without love you die...but the love we feel due to the mixture of hormones may not lead to sex. But attraction and love we all feel. You feel attracted to art, books, the attraction to an object is as real as it is to art... and its a abstract What you don't feel is sexual desire due to a trauma or difficulty in a relationships... But no one should force you to do that... if you love your work, your animals, your hobbies and can be happy and have friends and live in peace . . Maybe sex isn't that important...even because there are ways to get the endorphins necessary for attachment, like laughing, enjoying similar things, acceptance or in a hug ❤

      @jmipraimundo@jmipraimundo21 күн бұрын
  • Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex!!!! Everybody wants to talk about how much you should be having or how much is too much or how certain kinds are wrong. Jeez, obsessed much?

    @godfreycarmichael@godfreycarmichael22 күн бұрын
    • No but men think about this every minute and you live in their society...so if what they want will be done...as a man I would prefer a different society of love, peace and unity a Matriarch❤

      @jmipraimundo@jmipraimundo21 күн бұрын
  • I hope you guys at big think would change the pfp bc there’s a lot of fake “science” channels that have the same aesthetic and I would want people to know that this is a reliable channel

    @sicknasty44@sicknasty4415 күн бұрын
  • What's the point though? 50% of all marriages end in divorce (another 10-20% are bitterly unhappy) and men are far more likely to lose in a settlement.

    @wnose@wnose20 күн бұрын
  • How to find fulfillment: Don't date and mate. Best advice I ever got. Also, the first lady has her research to back up her claims; the second woman was just selling her book; and the third woman I couldn't take too seriously because I was distracted by her green hair, the ripped jeans, and wrist bands. Shallow, I know.

    @breal7277@breal727727 күн бұрын
    • There's a direct relationship between the first and last sentences of this comment that you seem unaware of.

      @johnwinkowski3154@johnwinkowski315423 күн бұрын
  • Fear not hombres - the AI girlfriends are coming soon!

    @jaythefox@jaythefox23 күн бұрын
    • As soon as it comes to adult content, AI says no.

      @NuntiusLegis@NuntiusLegis19 күн бұрын
  • hhh im the 8 like👍

    @homorobots@homorobots28 күн бұрын
  • ridiculous that you are sponsored by better help.

    @hermoinegrangerful@hermoinegrangerful23 күн бұрын
  • Recycling content ugh

    @jsraadt@jsraadt27 күн бұрын
  • 3rd comment

    @khalidlamlum5097@khalidlamlum509728 күн бұрын
    • But first clown.

      @hallking7441@hallking744128 күн бұрын
    • oh sorry, only the first 2 customers in line are getting sex....

      @ricardoconqueso@ricardoconqueso28 күн бұрын
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