Jordan Peterson - Comfort Will Kill Your Soul
2024 ж. 1 Мам.
1 414 970 Рет қаралды
Watch the full episode here - • Jordan Peterson - The ...
Dr Jordan B. Peterson explains the danger of comfort zones. Does Jordan Peterson think that mediocrity is a curse? How can people pursue excellence? How can you be more motivated? What does Jordan Peterson think is the best way for a mother to encourage her child?
#jordanpeterson #comfortzone #excellence
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2022 A.D. , simply a truth...
I KNOW of a case of toxic femininity. The son literally doesn't know how to roll toilet paper off the roll at about age 10. He blocked someone's toilet by wiping his butt with the WHOLE unrolled roll and tried to flush it.
P@@timmiller7338 -Po[ooooop0pp000000000000o09ppoo[
“Comfort is bad” - says the man who doesn’t do physical work for a living (since “graduating”) , well at least he’s speaking from experience. “Idol hands are the devils workplace” - the owners manual
@@OffGridInvestor What does this have to do with 'toxic feminity'??!
"You might lose your body out there in the world but if you stay here you lose your soul". Damm that hit me hard
Same.. Especially with that close up on his face 4:30
me too
Great quote. Even Dr. Peterson was visibly impressed he thought of that.
Did you cry?
there is no soul
"I miss being good at something." That hurts deep.
Cuz freaks know to look to personality cults and depressing freaks like Jordan?
Take it from me, kid, that’s adulting. No disrespect meant, it’s just the nature of
@@arisaga822 continue living meaningless life lololololollololololololololololloll
One can always get good at something with practice but it depends on priorities.
i have never been good at anything.
I'll never forget watching a video of a toddler falling down, the toddler got up and brushed himself off as if it were not a problem. His Mother entered the scene, and immediately the toddler began to cry. Even in adulthood I myself have been guilty of "unloading" how stressful my life is to my Mother while on the phone. Always felt worse afterwards. Mother's have it tough to be sure.
@DsafdfsDsaf Circumcision should be illegal.
Yep. I definitely don't want to unpack my shit onto people anymore. I know I still give my mom an ear full. Not proud of it.
I KNOW of a case of toxic femininity. Only got worse during the pandemic. The son literally doesn't know how to roll toilet paper off the roll at about age 10. He blocked someone's toilet by wiping his butt with the WHOLE unrolled roll and tried to flush it.
@DsafdfsDsaf If you want to get send to hell, go ahead
@@sethw997 As a mom I'd rather my son talk to me about things that are bothering him than bottling it up and having it manifest in other ways like substance abuse and major depression. My son is only just about to turn 13 and I'll be helping him with school work and he will say " I hate for you to have to take up your time with this" and I'll assure him that there isn't anything more important thay I could be doing with my time than helping him with something or having good times with him.
"I miss being good at something". That's how I felt doing custodial work, until I found an opportunity to work as a tutor. Being limited to something below your true worth, is demeaning.
It's a failure of society that anyone doesn't have a range of options for productive activity that suits both their interests and abilities.
@@havenbastion JP seems to be long on personal responsibility (which is a good thing), but short on critiquing the short comings of society. I take what insights he has to offer despite his rather conservative political views.
@@prschuster society owes you nothing. Who are you to demand to "deserve" your true worth? Egotistical if you ask me. Go make something and deserve that. Life owes you nothing. And in the end will demand even your life from you.
@Despize Perform Not to mention that you never asked to be here.
@Despize Perform In reality you have to take arms against a sea of troubles AND suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.
Be bold when you're young. Find comfort when you get old if you survive that long.
I literally have to force discomforts on myself intentionally in order to fix this shit that is my overstimulated , over pleasurable baby lifestyle . Adults living like babies all hyper sensitive . Gotta force painful experiences on ourselves to save ourselves
@@sandowpiano3826 from what? Lmao. Save yourself from dying
I turn 70 next month. The pursuit of comfort is a trap. My aunt died at 95. My uncle is 94. I can experience and accomplish a lot in 25 more years. And I intend to.
@@richardcollier1912 Old is just a state of mind...
I'm 75, still busy with life. An oldtimer once told me "It's better to wear out than rust out " rock on folks
When I was 19 I got my first “big boy” job out of Trade School. It was a 2 hour commute to my new office in Washington DC followed by 8 hours of work and a 2 hour commute home. It was a shock to me. I hated it. I called my mom and started crying. She always pampered me. I figured she would tell me to come home and leave my job. Instead, my first real adult conversation with my mom and she got real with me. In fact, her tone of voice was a bit angry. I told her I didn’t want to work all day and that I wanted to sit around at home with my friends. She told me, nobody wants to work. She told me she didn’t feel like waking up early and working all day and neither do 300 million other Americans. And told me to go back to work. She passed away from a hard battle with cancer a year later. I am proud to say that conversation stuck with me. Since she passed away I took her words to heart and I work at what I have to every day. While still making time for church, family, friends and leisure. It’s hard. Sometimes I don’t want to do it. Then I remember what my mom said. Neither do 300 million other Americans. I swear I would not be where I am in my career without my mom’s tough love that day. I just wish sometimes she could see the things I’ve done that are inspired by her grit and strong will.
i fully relate to this topic...i'm 27, i still live with my parents and never had a job. I'm an only child and my parents always were overprotective. In my early 20s. I remember them saying to me "you still have time to work not worry about this stuff" . Parents don't do this to your child you will ruin his life.
yea same condition mate, but Dr peterson said here that an overprotective kid still had choice , maybe of 5% , but its still a choice, its our fault for taking bait dude.
My man, I mean no disrespect, but you need to unf**k yourself. Move out, get a job. Do not get married, ever - women are great, but they will rinse you of every dollar you have. Make your own life.
@iNSTAGiB hey man how you holding up so far?
It's been like this for me too,it was a mix of overprotective parents and drug addiction that turned me into a failure of a person. I will finish my nursing degree when I'm 30 years old next year, it's been really fucking hard trying to pull myself out of this hole, but it's really worth it.
Holy shit you are down bad bro, get out and get a life
My wife walked into the room as I was listening to this and I said how much this sounds like our most recent conversations regarding an adult child. They must learn to stand on their own and we must allow and enable them to do so or they will never succeed.
“My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.” - Quentin Crisp
"Are you winning son?"
Lazy adult kids are the worst. My mother has a long time friend. She had an older friend who would do everything for her kids and then she died. So these kids are in their 50s now and ring up my moms friend n her 70s and ask her "we got a phone bill. What do you think we should do?". They're hopeless and clueless
@@OffGridInvestor we do them no favors when they are not forced to figure it out.
@@davidwalker5274 I am one of the adult children you speak of. I find it especially tough trying to face up to the fact I've let myself be "protected", and I've too often taken the route of comfort rather than independence. When I've recently seen Jordan talking about grown-up infants, or read threads talking about how much of a waste of space people like me are, I do find it very difficult to confront and accept the position I've put myself in. I don't know why I felt the need to write this but I have! I think part of me wants reassurance that I've not been a complete failure up until now/that I can change and past failures shouldn't define my future. But I think at the same time, seeking any reassurance in the first place is part of the problem! I guess it also struck me, reading your comment, that it would be good for you to let your child feel that any successes your child makes, is their own, rather than as a result of you pushing them. I've often felt as if when I'm succeeding, it's because I'm doing it to please my parents or because I've forced myself to do it. Whereas I need to find the right structure and self-discipline to do it for myself, which will hopefully breed self-motivation also. All the best with your child, I'm sure parenting is the most difficult balance to strike.
Adventure to excellence... Yeah, that sounds great. I've been stuck in the comfort zone lately, but it's time to start the adventure!
Anything worth doing is worth struggling with or even failing at first. Im in the process of taking my leap. Find your cliff and jump friend
Look up what Navy seal David Goggins says about being comfortable
How is your adventure going mate
@@roscomcneill9370 Well, first of all - thank you very much for asking. My situation is like this: I'm starting a new project that I really want to put my heart into. It is about Spirit/Mind/Body/Emotions development. I invite people to workshops, trainings with meditation etc... but it's just starting so not bringing much money yet and I have a family of 5 to support, so I still engage in other things that gets me money. And having three kids (and wanting to be a good dad) means that I don't have much time. Last year I was going out of anxiety/panic attacks, so there were days I couldn't focus on anything but just surviving the day. Sorry for the long comment and thank you again for reminding me that indeed I've always enjoyed adventures and challenges, so I'm definitely gonna do one more step towards my new project today! Peace!
@@ukaszgrygiel-extremisadven1795 you are great
Very true, I had an overprotective mother and it took me a long time to realize that her overprotectiveness had made me scared of the world. I appreciate everything she did for me because I know she did it out of love but I wasn't at all prepared for the harsh reality of life
This was my story. My dad was neglectful and mom was over protective, I wasn't prepared at all for the world. I was raised to be very kind and sensitive but the harshness of life broke me and my anxiety swallowed quite handful of my years.
Your mother did the best she could
Same situation here. How did things work out for you guys?
@@Brandon_W38 I've come a long way, to the point of the average joe in terms of courage and independence, but I'm continuing to take risks so I can grow beyond that.
I always thought giving your children the tools they need to survive in the world with out you was a parents primarily goal.
It is but most parents are not doing that nowadays.
Yes, but things like toxic femininity occur. I KNOW of a case of toxic femininity. The son literally doesn't know how to roll toilet paper off the roll at about age 10. He blocked someone's toilet by wiping his butt with the WHOLE unrolled roll and tried to flush it.
@@OffGridInvestor give that child a snickers
So true but many parents just want the kid to like him, such as my husband. When mom trains the sons to do chores, dad gradually takes over!!!!!
Some just want to hold them tight- forever
it is very hard to get out of your comfort zone when you live with anxiety. Everything is almost traumatizing. I have to begin a new job next week and it is absolutely painful.
Hard, but necessary. I know what living with anxiety is like. Keep pushing forward, or be doomed to remain stuck.
Look into somatic experiencing/Peter Levine
Thank you to both of you for your comments :)
Hey my man I ain’t no expert but I struggled with public speaking in college. Until, one day it was time for me to talk and I looked up and 99% of the class couldn’t give a fuck. Just like me when I was listening to another student. The light bulb went off. Since that day I can’t wait to speak in front of people and start new jobs and new relationships..why? Because 99% of humans don’t give a shit. Hopefully that helps
@@earlgarcia6106 Thank you for your response :)
"pleasure leads to poverty" "Whoever loves pleasure will become poor; whoever loves wine and olive oil will never be rich." -proverbs 21:17
Proverbs has a ton of good stuff in it.
1 Peter 2:18 “Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to the good and gentle but also to the cruel.”
@@zenon3021 From 1 Peter. Not from Proverbs.
When you seek comfort you will not find truth. When you seek truth you will find comfort. And never underestimate the wisdom that comes from suffering or the lessons of pain overcome.
Seeking truth does not necessarily lead to comfort.
@@cnote3598 of course. If it’s inconvenient to those who’d rather live with the lie. The truth sometimes hurts, but it is that which will set you free.
seeking truth can and will be a dangerous undertaking. coming to terms with having your beliefs shattered isn't exactly comfortable and many people got lost on that path. i don't disagree with the sentiment but that hasn't been my experience at all.
That's beautiful.
I have 2 kids. 13 & 10yo. When I heard "if you go out there you might lose your body but if you stay here you will lose your soul", man... it hit me so hard. Thanks M. Williamson for the interview and Thanks M. Peterson for sharing your wisdom. Thank you both very much.
Very nice
I would have lost my soul staying home, absolutely! Couldn't stand my dad. Joined the Army. Now I walk into fire and thrive!
Of course, the child might go out into the world and lose their body, thus causing the relevant parties to re-evaluate what is the greater error. If a child ends up experimenting with drugs and dies of an overdose, would anyone have said, "Well, at least they won't have attachment problems"?
Jordan has zero wisdom. Jordan is still looking for mental health. Wisdom produces tranquility and Jordan is filled with the opposite.
@@unclekerr4369 who are the most wise individuals you can suggest today?
I am the kid that wasn't held responsible for mothers overprotection and comfort. I'm spending my early 20s trying to kill that part of me. It's very difficult, however every year that passes where I don't address it, it will define who I am and I resent that.
I'm currently struggling with the same thing. I'm trying to continue to humble myself but it isn't easy. Thank you for sharing
I was the same. I’m now 31 and outside of 6 months at 28 and 6 months at 29, I’ve always lived at home. I have severe anxiety and working has been difficult for me. I have difficulty with interviews and keeping jobs. The only thing that’s kept me semi-sane was my artistic pursuits-performing music (one of the only ways I can overcome my anxiety) and writing and self-publishing books of my poetry. I was able to finish a bachelors degree in psychology a few months ago due to it being available mostly online through my college. I’m now working to get a basic job that I can handle (maybe overnights at a hotel or stocking shelves). It’s difficult to explain gaps of employment. All in all, I grew up with the loving and devouring mother and the resentful tyrannical father, but I’m trying to find healthy ground to move away from it, to have a little life to myself. It’s tough, man. Little at a time.
I’ve become majorly depressed by this similar situation, I have a hyper protective mother and a passive father. She had total control over everything , raised and schooled at home, belief system, everything growing up. now I’m 26 and it feels like nothing has changed for me in terms of being independent in society. I don’t know what the answer is to fix this. I’ll blank out for hours and just sit alone and ruminate about dumb shit until my day is gone. Seriously depressed right now. I don’t know how much longer I can do this or what the solution is.. It’s to expensive to live on my own and it’s hard to find decent roommates . I might just live in a van or the woods at this point. Things I’m thankful for : loving parents (regardless if it’s conditional or not), having a car to drive, a place to sleep at night, no major drug issues. A good friend. Shit like that
Atm I'm hoping that one of 4 interviews where I've been at calls back so I can finally have money to move out, I feel so worthless and stagnant otherwise
I'm pretty much the same
Insightful and thoughtful. The world is a better place with Jordan Peterson in it.
SO TRUE 👍🌍❤️❤️❤️!!!!!!
AMEN. Hallelujah!!
Amen to that!
Rubbish 🗑.
yeah... Imagine the intelligence of all the talking heads making him out to "be" one of their own smallminded mental categories. Luckily, they are talking themselves out of existence.
As a mother I feel that. The thing that helped me was reading Khalil Gibran in children before I had kids. The result is powerful adults - it worked. Fortunately they had a father at home. Children need fathers too!!
I remember the most difficult thing I had to do was hand my newly licensed daughter the keys to her car and say, “I’ll see you this afternoon.” I cried that entire day, but it got easier every day. I got to watch her grow more and more independent and pay for car repairs, pump her own gas, check and change her oil and keep herself “safe enough”, at least. Don’t get me wrong, there are times a horrible scene will come into my mind and I await the horrible call that every parent fears. Thankfully, for me that call has never come. But I am so grateful both of my girls are adventurous enough to live their life.
@@onetimeiateanindonesianguy6183 What? My guess is they had no father or a neglectful or abusive father.
@@stellabella6839... XX ;)
Yes, Gibran: 💖 Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of life's longing for itself...
Children need good fathers. Some fathers are definitely better off not around.
Absolute phenomenal piece! Not long ago I have realized what the impact of being raised by a mother Jordan described here, had on me. Although intended and perceived by many as a act of love, keeping your child to close does great, and I mean great, damage to that child. I experienced moving to a different city to study and live on my own like being hit by a train mentally. Now I understand why.
I'd be careful with that mentality a bit. It's very easy to end up finger pointing your insecurities toward other people than yourself. When you yourself choose to take responsibility, whatever it may be,bis when you grow. However your parents raised you, ultimately it's your choices that you make that you need to be able to learn from. Fearing things and learning to overcome them is difficult, but is a choice for example. Or starting a business - it's a leap of faith you need to take if you believe in your abilities. But of course there's risk of failure and you need to understand those risks ahead of time and how to mitigate them At the end of the day, if you're more passive with your learning and expect to be taught everything you need to know, you're gonna get crushed. Being able to be self taught and independent on your own is a skill you can and must develop if you want to get ahead. It's tough, it's rough, and you will fail sometimes. But as long as you keep it in your head to acknowledge where you went wrong and where you went right, you'll learn everything faster on your own
I can relate with this. being overly sheltered has dire consequences for the kid involved.
💯 I can attest to this from my own personal anecdotal experience as well. And one day, I'll be able to use it to help millions going through the same or similar circumstances. People who've overcome great struggles, pain and suffering are able to help those who feel and think there is no way out!
@@bboymunchkin I actually agree with what you are saying. In many cases I expected someone else to do things for me and felt very offended when others pointed out flaws or critized my. Step by step I start to realize that from the moment your alarm goes of, it is me that is responsible for me.
@@bertramvanhouten9916 feels good though. Can have conversations with people who are much older, and there's an exchange of knowledge/wisdom
“The female crucifixion.” Wow. Yes, it’s a complete heartbreak when you know you must let them go. We worry and dwell on their happiness and safety. It never goes away. A mothers tears are always right at the surface.
Let it go Marge
Oh boy .. i was burnt out at my work and profession. Fortunately for me COVID was a blessing.i recently sold my house left most of my stuff and retired a little early into s travel trailer.. i paint , play at guitar, garden but wow i was just expressing to a friend that i miss and being really good-one of the best- at something-book restoration. I never give up hope to become good at something! But after being widowed early i started rock climbing at 56 and I’m on my way to Mexico. It’s brutally unsettling and freeing at the same time. Risk taking, change and resilience are paramount.
"Just because you are offered the bait, doesn't't necessarily mean you have to take it" so simple, yet so true.
Never realised, my narcissistic abusive mother is a blessing ❤
my mother never switched gears, she became more and more protective, even suffocating me
The most difficult part of getting out of your comfort zone... Is finding a reason to. It's not that it's hard to do so, it's just that my experience has made so very disillusioned of people & society in general, that I really wish for once the world would give me a reason or at least encouragement to engage with it. If I beleive in something, i'd risk life and limb in a hearbeat to pursue it. But the modern world , just leaves me fewer and fewer reasons to even bother.
Curiosity, death, anger at yourself or a problem in the world. You just have to find the biggest fuel to start the fire and keep it lit.
Banksy summed this feeling up perfectly by stating: “I originally set out to try and save the world but now I’m not sure I like it enough”
Yeah youthful idealism is the misapplication of globalist, universal ideals to a localized, partisan species. We only want to save the world because evolution has conditioned our brain to expect the world to be a community of 150 people. We're not even supposed to know about the world, we're supposed to think that the stars are 200 feet above us, and there's maybe three other tribes out there in the world, tops. We have to give up on the idea that a human is born for all of humanity. We're born only for those in our community. And in the modern world, none of us have any idea who our community even is
The art of being a mother - I believe - is the balance of knowing when to say yes/no and when to hold on/let go.
Beautifully put
In my own situation, it was the complete opposite. Both my parents played the role of the over protective parent. It was an uphill contest but in the end i made them see the choice was solely mine and mine alone to make. The call to adventure was greater than the fear of any consequences. Individual responsibilities trumps everything. I could loose my body out there but i would loose my soul staying home or around home. Everyman must seize the adventure for himself or die with regrets too many
What did you do afterwards tho?
@@mahkneebro-incelandmisogyn4311 I took a job in another country they didnt want me to go to. I am truly living the aventure of my life. Things are not always easy but neither are they always hard. The point is i am stronger and more courageous. I am always struggling to stay on the line between order and chaos. A man is truly equal to the highest amount of bearable responsibility.
@@ernesttakor2374 lol straight out of petrrsen’s textbook. That’s good tho. I wanna get a job and make money too. Any tips?
@@mahkneebro-incelandmisogyn4311 first are you good at a skill which can be monetized?
@@ernesttakor2374 what kind of skills for example? Like an electrician?
The myth is that the goal is to retire to a life of comfort. Turns out it'll kill your soul. Set a noble aim and be good at something. Thank you,
Directly tied to how many people think of work as solely something negative
I would say retire as early as possible and you can work on what you want after that.
@@jaykay5142 what
@@jaykay5142 you want to wait until you're retired at 40, and then start to think about what to do with your life? I think you're doing it wrong. Think on what to do with your life now.
@@sorenkierkegaard8860 I'm already older than that and what I've found is that you'll never find that perfect life or activity that will 'make it all better'. People will always be pursuing the next thing, retired or not. But if you can retire at 40 or even sooner, at least you won't have to bother with the job anymore.
"The ultimate female crucifixion", I felt that. As mothers we want the world for our kids and no kind of trouble. Dr. Peterson perfectly explained why it's more harmful to not let our children experience anything! Thanks for this great interview!
I wonder how you balance that. Because it’s not like they hit 18 and you never advise or help them again, and you taper down over time; I wonder where we draw the line of just enough help to be age appropriate, and not an ounce more.
💯
@@andreagramckow7111 I think the biggest thing is let them feel the consequences of their choices, as a mom you will always be needed, just in a different way as kids get older, nothing wrong with love and support but you can't be their main support for money ECT.. Let them handle what they can, which is much more then we realize, anyway my 2 cents🤷♀️
Having been on both sides I can tell you that it's a matter of balance. I've lived out my car and all I could think of was, were am I going to stay tonight, what am I going to eat today, what am I going to do tomorrow? When I was comfortable, all I could think of was, I wish I was more free, I wish I wasn't so down, and I wish I had a purpose. So, it's a matter of finding out what you want (your pursuit), and then finding out how you can make it possible in a realistic and sustainable way. That's the key.
I think what is meant by comfort is being content with what you have and not wanting any change, meaning that another person in your position may be comfortable and not wanting better for themselves, so you not being comfortable in your situation has made you drive to better yourself (hopefully) compared to those who have let themselves rot in the situation
Very true…I’ve found there’s two types of people on earth. Those fighting to keep their same lifestyle and those fighting to drastically change it.
Grew up with chronic health conditions that still persist. My mental has been a rollercoaster. Nah im gonna be comfortable as often as i can.
My son is 10 months, I'm in this process of letting him go. He walks and is growing up so much. My husband is such a great dad and I feel so blessed, I've pursued this lifestyle thanks in part to Jordan Peterson's videos. 😊
You raise them to let them go 😊
I wish you all the luck in the world and nothing but health for your child, bless all three of you
i think you should kick him out of the nest age 7, according to Peterson that would give him a great advantage in life. FFS.
@@StrangeAttractor which of his lectures or podcasts or interviews did he say those exact words in? 😊 I'd love to listen in full, as most of his clips are just minutes out of hour long pieces. He doesn't appreciate misrepresented quotes, most people don't, of course 😉
@@minadady9950 Sigh. He didn't say those exact words, in the same way that Priti Patel doesn't say 'I'm a rabid xenophobe in neurotic denial of my own heritage who fantasises about licking Margaret Thatcher's boots.' Anyway. So, at 03:16 'adventure to excellence is a far better antidote to suffering than the mere absence of suffering.' This is errant nonsense. The best antidote to suffering is indulgent parents who do everything short of wipe your ass until you're 25. How do I know? I'm an Oxbridge graduate. 03:40 'the good mother necessarily fails'. The most successful guys I know in the City of London have doting mothers who even still do their laundry age 40.... you get the idea. Peterson is just waffling heavily theoretical bulldung, as usual.
Adventure to excellence… beautiful phrase. A true call to action.
"I missed being good at something." man that hits home. I used to be really good at a lot of things, but I suffered a serious brain injury in 2014 and was in a coma for a month. After I came out I had to re-learn everything, how to walk, talk, eat and drink without choking, dress myself, groom, etc. Driving took a long time. Now I'm pretty much back to "normal" but things like math and visual-spatial relationships and deductive reasoning are much harder for me. I'm still funny and quick-witted, but the things I used to be good at (programming, playing guitar, for example) are seemingly impossible for me now. Luckily I had a lot of "cognitive reserve", so I'm still really good with words and creativity, but it's amazing to not be able to do things that one was once able to do easily. JP's work has really had an incredible impact on my life.
Comfort and " happiness" are being used to tame and neutralize people.They are powerful tools of social control.Discomfort and suffering can push people to take action beyond polítical canons of acceptability and that could endanger the whole social, polítical systems
that's exactly why all the sports stadiums and movie theaters were open during the virus hysteria.
@@bm1006 and gyms closed
@@bm1006 What? What country in do you live at? Cause in America, the only places that were open during the peak of the lockout were supermarkets and other essential convivence stores.
@@aytuz Yeah because there was a pandemic, who wants to go to an pack establishment full with sweaty people touching the equipment with their bare hands in middle of a outbreak? No thank you, but I would rather use the old free weights at my house lol
Comfort comes in many forms. Mine wasn't money or security or even a happy relationship it was drink and drugs. It slowly destroyed the things in my life I cared about until they were gone and I barely recognized myself anymore. Deep down I knew the cost of my actions but was too afraid to be honest with those I loved and change. Doing it on my own has been the best experience of my life and I believe understanding yourself is the key to your happiness.
Did the person you once were come back after you got clean?
@@mikedouglas9863 a think I realised that person was always there and apart of me. Instead of punishing myself I took joy in understanding myself better than I every had. I know I'll always have an addictive personality but I protect myself better
@@leearchibald7064 thanks for replying! Glad you are doing well now!
I'm a person who chased their dream. It's been four years of complete chaos. I was so naive, unprepared, frankly stupid, brash, over confident and flawed. However, it looks like it is turning around now and I finally have a solid footing. I'm still essentially walking a tight rope. I walked away from a $120k job to open my own business. It failed the first two years, had some success the third year and now I'm hoping to take it to the level that's it successful. It sucks, it's hard, it's painful but it's certainly not boring. Maybe it's worth it. Maybe not. But it's a hell of a journey
What business did you open man?
Keep grinding.
@@Shauntomac mortgage brokerage! I was a loan officer in a mortgage company before. It's a good business if you're looking to open one. You just need to have good people skills, conscientiousness and discipline
@@lessforloans will do. It's actually working now which is great. It's harder to be on your own completely than I anticipated. Never realized how much I relied on support from different institutions and people to hold me accountable
@@joenichols3901 yup. I struggle with that as well. I’m fortunate on the money front for my business but I’ve also developed a bad drug and alcohol problem which I just got out of a treatment center for and working steps. That accountability has meant the world to me and will keep me sober
the quality of this podcast and the topics are just spectacular
It's blew my mind, it's amazing and have given me the complete new perspective about comfort zone and how it's killing creativity
My life has significantly improved since i started listening to Dr jordan peterson. We need to find more like you
Paraphrasing here: “It’s not about making the discomfort of life comfortable, it’s about making the discomfort worth it.” Wow!
I've found the "mere absence of suffering " can exist only temporarily. In my life no situation has allowed me to reach maximum comfort. In each case some change or some event or series of events always intervened to diminish the existing level of comfort. So for me life has become a constant search to avoid discomfort. So far i've been able to avoid addiction to hard drugs, avoid addiction to heavy sexual involvement, avoid addiction to heavy drinking, heavy gambling, heavy addiction to junk foods, heavy addiction to hate, etc etc etc. Nevertheless i continually hear, see, and feel the enticements of sinners. The bible (by God's grace ) tells me NOT to give in (not to consent). Wish me luck folks. The bible says *TIME AND CHANCE HAPPENS TO THEM ALL.* Luck plays a big part in life. The bible says so. But we must resist evil. Clinical psychology or no clinical psychology. Thank you Dr. Peterson et al.
Nice, where does the bible speak about luck?
Having an overprotective mother is, in the long run, a curse. When, as a child you are never expected to speak for yourself, and when things don’t work out, there is someone to say it wasn’t your fault, etc., then you will turn into a timid adult, who finds challenges too difficult to cope with. Yes, some children can have the courage to fight back and say they are okay, but yes, it is easier to go along with the mother who ties you to her apron strings and NEVER wants to let you go, particularly if you are an only child. Mother’s do it out of love, but the end result is toxic, and robs the child of self esteem in adulthood.
I find that the hardest times, especially the ones where you question your survival capabilities, lead to the greatest personal breakthroughs and growth opportunities. It might feel awful initially, but the growth is so much more rewarding and healthy than stagnation and complacency is in the long run.
How ironic, that today was the first day I commuted to university. I had to take an hour train followed by a 5 minute subway downtown. It was very nerve racking and scary for me especially since the last 2 years, at least here in Canada, we have had consistent lockdowns and online schooling. So, I was pretty much locked in my house for 2 years with the exception of going to the gym and shopping, but nothing else. Commuting really opened my eyes and I was shocked of how much I missed within 2 years and how vast this world is. Traveling alone without someone holding your hand is truly amazing. Everyone, especially young people, please go out and seek discomfort everyday. JUST DO IT. Take action. Eventually, you will have to spread your wings and fly alone.
Easily one of the best interviews with JP.
the first 30 seconds is literally a synopsis of my entire life. Im nearly 40 and Im the embodiment of mediocrity. and I dont feel the least bit proud of it.
This is very insightful. The Mother, Father and also the Child all have their responsibilities to be responsible and accountable. Thank you!
That statement “I miss being good at something” hits me especially hard because I’ve never really been good at anything. My entire life I just sort of put in the bare minimum without exploring or trying to branch out somehow. Now, as a miserable young adult with few prospects, I realize how stupid I was not to get out there and try stuff.
If you are a young adult you can get into technical school.
It's never to late right now there is a worker shortage and a lot of companies are willing to train or pay for training/schooling etc no better time in history to get free education.
I fear nothing, If my life gets too comfortable I start to worry.. My Mother died when I was 3, and life was hard from then on. 2 Brothers and a father who was a Sgt in the Grenadier Guards. Wouldn't have survived that or, what happened later without the right mental attitude, indoctrinated by my father.. Fight the good fight.
We all need a father or father figure like Jordan Peterson in our lives
He is a depressed freak who trashed his health, Rube.
I don't know about an excess of comfort, but the reason i prioritize comfort is that my spirit can't stand any more discomfort.
There’s a balance to it. Discomfort regularly comes from work, obligations, accidents disputes, etc. It is necessary to get away from that to a source of comfort for healthy living. Issues arise when life is 100% comfort and 100% discomfort. Finding a healthy balance is necessary
@@noidsuper I think the problem is whether it's someone else's choice that you're in it.
Thankfully I had a farmer/rancher father that didn't tolerate whinners. He was a Korean war vet at Chosen Resevoir retreat with 60% casualties. I have taken on many tasks, including semi trucking, banker, insurance adjuster for 34 years managing Hurricane Andrew, Katrina and many others plus towns torn apart by tornadoes and hsil storm. Investigated and settled $million settlement on fatal crashes. Some people have told me I should write a book on my experiences. Dr Peterson is a gift that all should accept.
Just had my first successful bjj competition this Saturday and i learned so much. I also see that i have to push myself through the membrane made of people’s comments (my mom’s, sister’s etc) and go to war with the world and with myself. If it wasn’t for Dr. Peterson’s lectures i would have never decided it was about time to grab the bull by the horns and wrestle the damn thing. Thank you, both Chris and Dr.
blowjob-jitsu. lol joking
All the best man
@@Purwapada i knew that comment was coming 😂
@@samgaspodcast lol. It's good system. Especially the name 😁
Its been 8 days since your comment. You did find at the new job i bet. We all knew you would!
I absolutely adore how whomever did the clip zoomed in on Jorson's hand and lingered there for a bit more than a long time. Those hands do such an amazing job at showing the thought processes going on in that big brain. Thanks for that. It's beautiful.
Comfort does not kill your soul, it nurtures it.
Tank you
after hard work it nurtures it but 100% comfort all the time how it can nurture?
David Choe had said that 'comfort is the killer of creativity'. I really struggle with understanding what the balance looks like between overindulging in comfort to distract from lack of effort towards ones goals and completely facing the pure discomfort of existence and still manage to create. I know there is a middle ground but I haven't yet found it. Would love to hear from anyone's perspective or experience.
Turn your phone off for 23 hours a day and see how creative you become the problem is in peoples hands . One year after I got my smart phone i realised it’s cancer I cannot get a job without a phone . Boredom breeds creativity !
@@Bart-Did-it that’s a great idea, thank you
“We seem to be cursed with the responsibility of our own destiny” The world needs more JP
Hey Chris! I‘ve listened to the whole episode as a podcast and watched multiple clips multiple times. I think you have struck gold with this interview and this production. Such a fantastic thing. Thank you!
yes
6 years! Comfort fucked me. Break up was the best thing to happen to me. Now shredded and smashing career goals
take it from me, constant pain will kill it faster.
I like how he pauses for a second to think before he answers a question.
Man, this is the first one that really hit home. I was at a point a few years ago where I was so comfortable in my position in life that I lost my aspirations for the future….I was totally contented going to work and coming home to play video games, then bar hopping with my small friend group on the weekends. Everything fell apart at once when I tried to make a small change and I had to build myself up from scratch….and suddenly I rediscovered my dreams and aspirations. Now I’m halfway through grad school and I actually look forward to the future.
“I missed being good at something”…nailed it! So true it hurts! Even if you’re in a career that should give you purpose and meaning sometimes doesn’t and you are throwing yourself at it trying to make it matter but you’re not “good at it” and miss the thing you want to be doing (or are ripped away from doing because paying the bills has become the necessity) 🧐
I’m a senior with some physical limitations. I’m so unsettled by having fairly good health, but not finding a situation that at the end of the day I’ve accomplished something.
Me too. I have no meaning, no purpose.
@@pixieheart9303 When we don’t feel we have anything to offer is when prayer is the single greatest thing we can do.
@@gailcarey3597 praying hasn't worked for me.
Bloody hell. So much knowledge.... a great conversation
I base myself in the comfort zone and choose what risks to take.
I've seen a lot of Jordan Peterson interviews or videos with him on a podcast and this is one of the best!
So his depression rubs off on you, Freak?
@@martinkent333 you need to widen your vocabulary beyond the word freak, freak!
@@scottmcdowell27 Bottomfeeders like you love the slime!!!!!!!! Wallow, wallow, wallow!
@Balint Ujvari Did you think that it's ok for teens to drink the "personality cult Kool-Aid" and frolic in fantasyland with the "intellectually constipated," who are seeking a human enema? KZhead and Podcasts are sensationalism and you know it Bottomfeeder. Defending any personality cult by not having a clue makes you a danger to teens and Jordan encourages teen suicides by introducing philosophy to reality. It's just plain mumbo jumbo. Kids need brilliance - not shabby depressed freaks like Jordan who don't know how to eat and so look like shit and depress the teens who worship him, with his "low-level cheesy mumbo jumbo," Cupcake.
I agree to an extent, at the end of the day, everybody needs Comfort just as long as you don't abuse it
Everything in moderation.
Cuz freaks know?
@@james81693 Cuz delusional freaks know?
@@martinkent333 get out of here
@@Larry321ness I use Holy Water enemas for Spiritual Constipation. Jordan is a human enema. Personality cults are totally groovy! Do you spew? He does!!! You must be very, very proud!
You might lose you’re body out there but staying with me you might lose your soul. That hit hard but affirmed my choose to up sticks and not look back. Took another 20 years to really understand why I upped sticks. The past is there to learn from the future is what we make it. So true.
This is really a conversation for men. Women love comfort and I don't think there's necessarily anything wrong for that.
Another point on the independence concept while raising a child: If the parents were to have a second kid, it is critical the parents have already secured independence in the first kid. This is because the first kid will feel neglected, and likely become depressed due to the parents giving comfort to the second kid in its young years. I still have yet to have kids but this is my thought on having multiple children.
Wow you swalllow the personality cult Kool-Aid and shine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Smart. I screenshot this to remember for when I have kids one day.
This is me I’m the oldest kid, and I definitely grew up with the jealousy of my brother getting attention and now I have a bad need for approval and seek others attention too often
Wow! What a hard/unnatural/loving thing for a momma to do. Not easy but so necessary to happen in order for young people to grow into warriors. More moms need to hear this.
Jordan is a depressed freak and you wallow in it!
If it’s unnatural it’s not right. We have followed parental advice that didn’t feel right in every generation and it turned out to create a problem.
"adventure to excellence" resonates with me.
Moved out of my Mom’s basement just before turning 30. Not only out. But to a new city and state. Broke up with an incredible woman who supported this endeavor. The past year and a half has been a journey. Being left to my own devices and having to fend for myself. There’s been doubt, fear, anxiety, loneliness. It’s still ongoing. But there’s greater respect I’m receiving from my family. And things have stabilized to a degree that allows me to act with more courage.
👍 onward & upward, Away we go friend!!!!
I'm on the verge of having to take this road as a 23 year old. It's not fun right now. There's so much uncertainty, fear and anxiety about it all. A small part of me is excited for independance though.
@@Adam-ny5gp make the leap man I’m 27 now almost 28. I felt the same at 21-23. Take the jump find yourself. Done be afraid it will humble you and give you courage beyond any parenting can do. Knowing you can back yourself!!!! You got this man my spirit is with you!
so true about being good at something being a Massive plus in life . Whether a hobby or profession it Sparks something that important that love or drugs never can compete with . I'll say that finding a flow in even a thing you may have hated is a special place . And teaching it to someone or others is Next level
Is no one gonna mention the 20 second shot of his hand
Yeah the camera guy got distracted by his hand it seems lol
Yes that’s the first thing I noticed. No pro cameraman wud do that by accident - it’s a liberal or someone who doesn’t like JP
Jordan handerson😂
The world needs more of these podcasts really....😊
The only way a six year old could make the choice to tuff it out is if the parent has trained him/her to do so from a very young age. It isn't a thought that happens magically when they are six. However, I do agree that complacency kills. If not early on then when you are older and are set in your ways. People who challenge themselves or who live in uncomfortable conditions usually live longer and better lives.
Being uncomfortable is also killing my soul.
how so.........?😅
@@Thank-u-so-much-for-everything chronic physical pain
@@Joshuaversa we all are suffering on different levels unable to understand others pain but we can take any pain as positive not a negative thing..... no pain no growth of mind......?🤗
@@Thank-u-so-much-for-everything I understand & I agree with you. I just don’t want to lose function of my leg, become paralyzed & end up in a wheelchair.
@@Joshuaversa I understand & I agree with you.....thanks😅 people will only say may you heal well....... but who knows ending in a worst condition can be good or bad for us.....
EDIT: I got the job! I’m refreshing my email every 5 minutes because I'm waiting for a company that I applied and have two interviews to respond. I've been working on myself a lot for this past 4-5 years. But it was when I discover JP that I truly understood the key pieces that I was missing, to truly feel like I'm on the right path. If I don't get this job, I'm gonna feel really bad, but I think that at the same time, I'm equally ready rather to get and feel accomplished, as to don't get it and take it in the most healthy mature way.
"I miss being good at something". Damn... Does not effect me personally but the thousands of others. Damn. So true. Father's be so important.
this taught me alot and also made me realise how my siblings and i are the way we are.
This goes deep... Thanks for the insight. Jordan lays it out better than anyone. ❤
This hits me hard as a mom. I can totally see myself protecting my 3 children to a dangerous point. It’s going to go against my instinct and my husband will need to step in.
I KNOW of a case of toxic femininity. The son literally doesn't know how to roll toilet paper off the roll at about age 10. He blocked someone's toilet by wiping his butt with the WHOLE unrolled roll and tried to flush it.
@@OffGridInvestor That could just be mental health issues.
Wow wow wow, powerful. The truth can hurt sometimes. “I miss being good at something “
Enjoyed these conversations.
I did chose to wake up this morning, take a shower, make some workout at home even though I was tucked in my bed and it was cold outside. Thanks for sharing this.
It's strange. My child's mother passed away from cancer when she was a High School freshman and I just brought her to college in Chicago last August. We lived in a small town in Tennessee and learning how to let go has been difficult for me given I am still probably grieving the loss of her mother.
It’s so difficult when a child’s or teen’s parent is taken from them unwillingly, and before their brains have developed
The world needs a David Goggins and Jordan Peterson podcast!
no .........actually not every type of people are not need/want for this......only just people like us need/want that more......
Congratulation for the content.Really liked the cameras angles and how eye pleasing it is the studio
My mother let me pull out of judo because I was nervous about competition. Same with my swimming club and other situations. I developed a give up mentality from a young age which took me years to undo as an adult due to me being unwilling to face my problems or to approach challenge in a healthy way. I'm glad I do the opposite with my son. All parents will make mistake and I don't blame mine but i certainly learn from it and apply different methods to my son. He's nearly 6 and a completely different kid to how i was. Super confident makes friends easily and very active. I am very proud of both him and myself for being willing to provide a healthy environment for his growth. I gave up my job to raise my son. It wasn't easy but it paid off eventually.
Comfort helps when you’re in pain, that could be any pain, physical, and spiritual. When you’re spirit is broken, it’s easy to stay in that comfort.
Fascinating watching Jordan when he is asked a question .He pauses for a bit then responds .You might or might not agree with his response, but he never gives a stupid answer. Elon is the same way when he responds.
Thank you so much! This message was made for me!
Damn. This shit stung cause it's literally where I'm at in my life atm. I quite literally forgot why I wanted to do anything because I got to comfortable with the little pocket world I made for myself. Literally the mice utopia project. Time for me to go clean my room and find something heavy to lift.
comfort all day everyday
Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for breaking this long chat down into bitesize portions. I read 12 years for life but this contains brilliant reminders and insight from yourself. 👍🤙😁
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