I spent a day with INTERSEX PEOPLE
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I spent a day with intersex people to learn the truth about being intersex and the misinformation surrounding this group ▸ This episode is sponsored by Betterhelp - go to betterhelp.com/padilla to get 10% off your first month ▸ Go to joinhoney.com/padilla to get PayPal Honey for free.
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0:00 INTRODUCTION
4:09 VARIATIONS OF INTERSEX
7:18 FINDING OUT I’M INTERSEX
10:10 FORCING SURGERY
13:00 INTERSEX VS TRANS
15:32 SPONSOR
17:32 COMING OUT 4 TIMES
19:19 TELLING OTHERS & DATING
20:41 TO INTERSEX PEOPLE…
21:57 BLOOPER
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HOWIE MANDEL LETS GOOO
Awesome.
It’s crazy to me how it’s normalized to do surgery on a baby but when an adult wants to get it done its “unnatural”. A baby cannot consent to surgery, an adult can.
they think they own their children
Frr
Yep, that’s what’s fucked up about it.
It's all about controlling others
Fr like if it's threatening a babys life I would understand but if it's fine then leave them alone and save them some trauma and self-hate
A friend had an intersex baby a few years ago and had a WONDERFUL doctor! The doctor explained everything and told the parents that the child seems like it may feel most comfortable as he/him based on the doctor's previous experience, but could absolutely end up being trans or non-binary. The doctor said the best option is to be mentally prepared in case that happens and let the child decide for themselves when they grow up rather than taking a guess, doing surgery and being wrong. It was awesome! You hear so many horror stories, but there are docs who understand and do the right thing!
oh my god im so glad to hear that. this story is really heartwarming and i hope your friend and their child have beautiful lives. their child will thank them when they're older.
That's awesome, there's hope that times are changing for intersex kids!
I really hope that in our days, the majority of doctors are more informed than 20/40 years ago. We have solid data, and more knowledge about intersex people growing up and going through adulthood, I'm glad your friend had a doctor who was able to explain in a reassuring way what could be her child's options like. And that your friend has the open mind to give her child the space to figure themselves out!
That's Amazing! However it feels a bit unfortunate that I have to think of it as 'Amazing' because that how it should be across the board.
@@misscrackwood ”Figure itself out” The poor kids that has to grow up trying to define themselves from something no one can give an answer to… No wonder we have kids with gender dysphoria today at such an extent 😅
People are calling kids choosing to go on hormone blockers mutilation and then are completely okay with actually mutilating a child’s body to fit what they want. It’s disgusting.
what does that have to do with intersex people?
@@ollie_202because doctors often force their opinions about sex change surgery on intersex individuals, but say it’s mutilation for trans teens and adults
@@ollie_202doctors do non consensual surgeries on many intersex people at birth
You think it’s ok for a child to decide what gender they want to be and block their natural hormone cycle? From this comment I’m going to infer that you also think it’s ok for a child to decide to mutilate themselves through surgery. Do you even know what hormone blockers do the person that takes them?
@@louiedoyle3711 yes, I do. I know the dangers. Doctors don’t just “give away” stuff like this. They have to evaluate you, and for reliable doctors, there’s an age bar that you must cross. Majority of the time, it’s teens that are ages 14-18 using blockers. Anything much younger, it’s more dangerous, and the doctors sanity should be questioned. If surgery on bodies is mutilating, then I guess you won’t be getting vital surgery to fix a broken leg, or cancer 🤷♂️
Anthony: "So, could you explain what goes on with being intersex?" Hayden: *Biology teacher mode - Activated!*
Almost 1k likes and no replies? Lemme change that
@@jadenbeta346replies are only valuable if they offer substance
This is frankly normal for people who grow up with stuff. I can tell you a crap ton about Autism just because im autistic. He grew up intersex, so he probably had to learn a lot becasue he was both curious about his condition, as well as had to learn that stuff because it affects him and he needed to know why it is, and how to deal with it. Unfortunately, not everyone is privy to that info.
@@sterlingodeaghaidh5086oh of course, but it's not just the amount of information they have but how effective he is at describing it in a simplified and engaging way
Yess
I’m against having babies getting ear piercings. The idea of messing with their genitalia sounds insane.
Saaaaaame
i think that surgery on a baby should only be done if it is medically necessary. It is clear in the above stories that the surgeries were for conformity... not medicine.
Tell that to circumcision/fgm
@@en2p187 that too!
@@en2p187 what's that last one in full?
It’s always really fucked me up that doctors perform these surgeries on *INFANTS,* literally some of them days old, for nothing other than cosmetics, even though they’re fully aware the surgeries cause all sorts of medical issues later in life, lifelong trauma for intersex people, and more often than not they “choose” the wrong sex and the person ends up transitioning later in life, or at least not fully identifying with the sex they were *literally* assigned at birth. A lot of times parents are told by doctors that their children *need* these surgeries and then they need to never talk about it again. It’s absolutely insane. Performing surgery of that magnitude, surgery that alters someone’s life to that degree, *requires* consent and infants cannot give that. Any doctors performing these surgeries should be in prison.
Cosmetic surgery on infants and children should be illegal. The only surgeries that should be performed on a person who cannot consent are ones required for health and survival.
Not to mention the surgeries that are done without the parents' consent or knowledge...it's horrific.
Same thing with parents that make their kid transgender. It litterally discust me.
Ya, like there are people who are born a sex but it doesn't match their gender (trans), and people who dont feel they identify with the main genders (non-binary and genderfluid). And obviously the parents won't know until the child is older, so it makes most sense to treat them as their sex until they say they don't feel their gender matches. But then intersex people, who are born as a different sex (not male or female), are still shoved into one of the boxes by their parents! People who are Trans can have a very difficult time receiving these surgeries, yet they will give them to babies who have no sign of wanting to be that gender? It is so crazy! It needs to be normalized that having a kid should not be because you want to have someone to raise or feel you succeeded in life. You should have a kid if you can truly raise a child and have the patience and dedication needed, and you will be chill with them having any looks, traits, gender, sex, sexuality, etc.
it's like practice , testing on idiot or poor people kids , trial and error on childrens,
fun story: i found out i was intersex at age 20(currently 23) when i got my first ultrasound screening for a routine ovarian/uterine cancer check(runs in the family). while i didn't have any sign of cancerous tissue in there, they did however find a testicle, just vibing in there. i guess it never fully developed, so it's not functional at all and it doesn't cause any issues, it just be chillin, so i chose not to evict it and have inevitably pack bonded with it. like, there's just a lil guy in there💛
I’d imagine for some that’s they only way they find out. Or when they go to have kids because even if they have fully functional reproduction system I heard it can cause infertility or make it hard to conceive. Due to things like only having one overy, low sperm, hormone issues, not ideal shaped uterus. But for some who don’t want children, they probably never find out. I’m female but I guess my mom always wondered if I was Intersex because I didn’t I guess conform to typical gender norms. I grew up with brothers so I was both girly and tomboy I guess. I got in a motorcycle accident as a teen and when I got a body scan. My mom nervously asked the doctor if my reproduction system looked normal because it was a tissue scan. Nothing was different. But wow my mom 😅. Also she always was weird about me showing bi characteristics at a young age and throughout my life. I never really confirmed that, but I just say I’m just not putting myself in a category. But I guess that might be part of why she was so fearful.
Pack bonded lmao!!
Your descriptions are gold
you just have a little guy there
I discovered when I was 23! Currently 25. I randomly came across a Wikipedia page for genital variations and got like "wow mine looks like that one that is not on the end of the spectrum". Which is such a random way to find out... it explained a lot of the body differences I had and didn't even question about. Being autistic (only diagnosed at 24, suspected by me since 9), having a ton of mental health issues, being bisexual and identifying as non binary I was passively taught to think "well, I'm just weird I guess!" It took a really long time to get things to eventually make sense.
We just found out my sister is intersex at age 26. Apparently she was born "closed up", so she had a surgery done on her as an infant. My mother was an immigrant from another country, spoke a different language and the doctors never talked to her about the ramifications of doing the surgery that young. I don't think doctors should be doing "normalizing" surgeries for babies.
Hi I hope you don’t mind but can I ask you some questions. Does intersex mean you’re born with a penis and vagina? And what would happen if your born intersex and you don’t get surgery to assign you to a gender like what would happen? Would you just have your period and also have a penis with sperm? Because I understand the argument of not performing surgery on intersex babies but then if they don’t what would happen? Also can all intersex people who didn’t get surgery get pregnant? And when you’re intersex at birth with no surgery how do they decide if you’re a girl or a boy? Or are you just neither just floating in the middle with a under developed vagina and penis. Also since intersex exists does that mean there are 3 genders not 2? Or is there still 2 because intersex people eventually go to a gender. I hope this doesn’t come across as rude I am just genuinely curious as I’ve only learnt about this in the last year when someone told me there was 3 genders/sexes. And I’ve never met an intersex person. I’ve only relied on google but hearing it from someone firsthand would be amazing
@@whym3689jeez thats a lot of questions. Im not sure about most of this but ill do my best. From my understanding, being intersex means you have genetalia between a penis and a vagina, or a penis and a vagina, or you have hormones that are different from what the rest of your body is, or multiple of these things. Basically its having a partially male and partially female body, whatever that means for the specific person. 💛💜💛
Hopefully we can get around to not mutilating the 50% of the population that is male sometime.
If she was closed, she medically had to have something done or it wouldn’t have been a healthy life for her. She wouldn’t have been able to pee or have sex depending on what hole was closed off.
@@whym3689 not everyone who is intersex is born with both genitals, more often then not they are born with regular generalized, or none like OCs sister, but will retain the other sex organs such as gonads or a non functioning uterus. Sometimes they are born completely normal of 1 general or the other but their chromosomes can look different, like XXY for example. So it presents itself in many different ways like they said at the beginning of the video. No not all intersex people can get pregnant even with a functioning uterus they may be infrrtal due to a severe hormone imbalance. Most intersex babies dont need surgery at all in ed as they are like OCs sister but most of the time it's simply cosmetic to "look normal". For the ones that dont get surgery if they look normal enough they will be assigned the gender closet to their genitalia or in the case of chromosomes, XXY specifically, a doctor told me they will always be classified male regardless of genetalia. Soo yeah hope that answers some questions. I'm not intersex but have been learning from them for almost 10 years I want to say. It's not exactly classified as a 3rd "gender" it's more like being genderless(?) If that makes any sense. But yeah intersex comes in many many different forms 😊
I’m amazed by Hayden’s empathy for the community/background that wrongly judged him. Also an excellent educator!
Yeah he is actually what a christian is supposed to be not what the "christians" in his town were
I could watch so much more of him
@@KonzTheOne Amen to that!
@@MommaBear87 Agreed! He could definitely host his own KZhead or podcast series!
My thoughts exactly!
anthony is the most understanding, chill and welcoming person ive ever seen
LOL no he is not
@@ville__ and why's that?
i always forget his smosh days, he was always one of my favorite youtubers no matter the content hes such a cool dude
@Don't Read My Profile Picture i read your name, profile picture, banester and the video!
So hard to hate the man
This is so interesting to me because my son wasn't considered intersex because his body parts were female but when he was 11 he had to go to an endocrinologist and they said hormonally he was pretty much male. His female hormones were so low they wanted to put him on them. He was so sick though, and it wrecked him emotionally and it didn't help his health issue at all. So by age 12 he said he was male. He felt male, he really honestly looks male other than those reproduction organs. Speaking of, of course in Tennessee he could not get gender-affirming treatment but they'd be happy to keep pushing female hormones on him.
We love their "protect children" laws :D
This hypocrisy is heartbreaking 😭
He doesn't have a stick?!😭
The irony of it all!!
Hi I hope you don’t mind but can I ask you some questions. Does intersex mean you’re born with a penis and vagina? And what would happen if your born intersex and you don’t get surgery to assign you to a gender like what would happen? Would you just have your period and also have a penis with sperm? Because I understand the argument of not performing surgery on intersex babies but then if they don’t what would happen? Also can all intersex people who didn’t get surgery get pregnant? And when you’re intersex at birth with no surgery how do they decide if you’re a girl or a boy? Or are you just neither just floating in the middle with a under developed vagina and penis. Also since intersex exists does that mean there are 3 genders not 2? Or is there still 2 because intersex people eventually go to a gender. I hope this doesn’t come across as rude I am just genuinely curious as I’ve only learnt about this in the last year when someone told me there was 3 genders/sexes. And I’ve never met an intersex person. I’ve only relied on google but hearing it from someone firsthand would be amazing
I remember hearing about a guy who did a radio interview after he found out he was intersex. They had sewn his uterus up as an infant and because he was in his 50's or 60's he had never been told about the surgery. When he worked out that he was intersex he realised when he was a teenager the pain in his abdomen had been his period & his body was reabsorbing the blood.
That's a horrifying thought! Damn I hope he's doing ok
@@spookyaliens6286 he was quite lucky and didn't have any complications. P.S I heard this story on the radio about five years ago. He was a middle-aged to old man.
That's fucked up. He could have died from TSS.
Holy shit… he’s lucky to not have gone septic! Disgusting that the truth about his own fucking body was kept from him for so long…
Wonder if he/they would have menstruated from the urethra? May have been safer to keep the blood in the uterus 🤔
I don't know if, as a parent, I'd ever feel comfortable choosing which sex my kid should be. So many times, they choose one for selfish reasons and end up mentally harming the kid down the road. I love how open they are about such a sensitive topic and really helps bring light to other parents who may have to deal with this so they can hopefully make better, more informed decisions and be more open with their kids about the topic as well.
What if I told you that it’s the kids themselves that hurt themselves through Tumblr dysphoria. And intersex is just a very small amount people with mutated genitalia that has crossed a bit but they’re more the one sex than the other which is their true sex.
@@dannejoon Go touch some grass
@@dannejoon there's no "true sex" if they're intersex
@@dannejoon intersex can mean a mix of organs, there is no "true sex". There's no way to know which sex they will lean toward as they develop.
@@dannejoon Considering most of these kids knew something was different way before being old enough to be on the internet, I doubt that's true for every case. I've seen mother's blatantly ignore doctors suggesting that their child may more align with a certain gender because their chemistry leans more a certain way but they WANT a girl or a boy and force it on them, then make them feel like trash for not accepting the role THEY chose for them. That is selfishness, plain and simple. Your child's happiness should be the most important thing, not what reality you want for them.
It’s amazing how these are ordinary intersex people, and not necessarily doctors, but I’ve learned more about sexual anatomy from them than I have from sex education in school.
fr. my sex education didn't even mention intersex folks
@@septanine5936 so lucky my biology teacher taught me! he is a great man and a great teacher
@@mckaylyc2322 that sounds like it's more on the system than on the teacher, but I'm glad you've got a good teacher who also taught you about intersex individuals! I was not taught in school about intersex people until high school, it would have been a lot better to cover in health / puberty unit or presentation, when kids are still figuring themselves out and trying to understand their experiences. I think boys should learn about girls' puberty, and girls about boys', and have everyone learn about intersex puberty/traits as well. It would create less misunderstandings not only about oneself, but about the opposite sex and intersex people.
I don't see how it's shocking?
"We removed part of your body because you had cancer" is the world's worst cover story for "We weren't comfortable with you being in a sexual grey area so we had you altered to fit our expectations."
Damn
Im intersex and i wanna infodump to strangers about it!!!! Im too scared of doctors to know what “type” i am but i have genitalia w ambiguous traits and luckily never had a surgery done on me. Basically i can pee standing up and im also able to get preggo to my knowledge but i imagine it would be more painful than normal (which is saying a lot obvi) I dont identify as anything because gender feels unnecessary and too fictional for me to take seriously. People are actually more understanding of it than they are of trans people in my experience, ig because they have a bioessentialist view of gender that completely breaks down when they have to consider me in their argument. Growing up was tough because I was socialized as a girl but i had to hide an adam’s apple and pitch my voice up, so I felt ugly esp when my mom kept pointing my masculine traits out to me. Ive taken both testosterone and estrogen. Testosterone gave me hypersomnia and I had to quit using it because I’d sleep 20 hours at a time. Estrogen didnt effect me outside of minor weight gain and boobie growth, but I went off of it because I wanted to be more natural with my hormone presentation for a while. The term Hermaphrodite only bugs me because I’m a huge greek mythology nut and I know that Hermaphroditos wasnt even intersex he was fused with a woman named Salmacis- what bothers me the most is that there are plenty of greek/phrygian gods that ARE intersex like Phanes and Cybele. That’s all ❤️
This was very interesting to read! Thanks for sharing ❤️
Thank you for sharing that!
Hi I hope you don’t mind but can I ask you some questions. Does intersex mean you’re born with a penis and vagina? And what would happen if your born intersex and you don’t get surgery to assign you to a gender like what would happen? Would you just have your period and also have a penis with sperm? Because I understand the argument of not performing surgery on intersex babies but then if they don’t what would happen? Also can all intersex people who didn’t get surgery get pregnant? And when you’re intersex at birth with no surgery how do they decide if you’re a girl or a boy? Or are you just neither just floating in the middle with a under developed vagina and penis. Also since intersex exists does that mean there are 3 genders not 2? Or is there still 2 because intersex people eventually go to a gender. I hope this doesn’t come across as rude I am just genuinely curious as I’ve only learnt about this in the last year when someone told me there was 3 genders/sexes. And I’ve never met an intersex person. I’ve only relied on google but hearing it from someone firsthand would be amazing
I don't know where are you from or how is your health system, but maybe looking for an endocrinologist specialized in development could be a safe way. And nowadays you can take the opinions of other patients before in evaluations. They understand the "types" you refer, and they aren't surgeons to force a surgery. They could evalute if there is a better hormone treatment for you. Or if they are risky and could cause some body reactions you wouldn't know (Well, now you know 😅). There are some intersex that can get pregnant, but the labor is risky to the mother and/or the child, others that can't. And there is some that have internal organs that remains that can become tumors. I am a health practitioner, but not a endocrinologist, so I cannot ascertain the details. I hope I am not being prepotent or invasive with my points, just a worried person here. 😅
I didnt know for cybele and phanes! Thanks you for sharing your testimony ❤ I wish so much I find people who accept me the way I am... people who consider that interdex is actually a thing 😓
It just appalles me that people are told they can’t tell kids that they’re intersex before they’re 18. That somehow they won’t be able to comprehend this before that age. You don’t automatically become more mature when you turn 18.
The human cognitive mind doesnt fully develope till the age of 25
@@jesseramirez9062 And even then, it's closer to 26-27.
@@jesseramirez9062 that doesn't mean that people can't comprehend anything before that
@@jesseramirez9062 thats a myth. Your mind doesn't suddenly "fully develop" when you're 25. Your brain continues to develop and grow throughout your entire life.
my parents and doctors didn’t tell me that i (cis woman) had xy chromosomes until i was 18. frankly i don’t really blame them, since when i was younger i wasn’t sure how private & secrets stuff worked and tended to overshare. that’s probably on the then-undiagnosed autism tbh. if i had told the wrong person, i probably would have been excluded and bullied more. heck, none of my extended family knows, since i’m not sure how they’d react. but i’m probably an exception to the rule and most intersex people would probably benefit from being allowed to know about their conditions before 18.
Hayden explained the science so clearly, perfection!
Thank you! 😊I can get into a real rabbit hole when explaining. The editor did a great job condensing a lot of what I said. 😂
@@haydensoto3780 as a biologist with a great interest in intersex conditions it was VERY appreciated :D
I appreciate how they didn't explain the biology as either being a default. Both the mullerian and Wolffian ducts have features that need to be turned on or off by pro-female or pro-male genes/hormones to get the features of females and males fully expressed
@@youtubeuserremainsanonymou9022 Agreed!!! This is SUCH an important concept, and it completely shattered my view of a "strictly biological binary" for the better!
@@haydensoto3780 as a latinamerican biologist interested in queer activism, you explained it beautifully and I love to have such a good educator like you in our lines 💙 you were a great choice for this
Its should be illegal for those surgeries to happen until theyre adults and know what they want. So unfair
They deserve to decide whats comfortable ugh i wanna cry
Maybe it’s so they’re healthy Becuse it’s a birth defect? So at least they should tell them
@@RoadtoStick Intersex person here Oftentimes the surgeries are completely cosmetic and have no medical purpose 😔
Like infant circumcison.
Agreed
Remember everyone: gender identity, gender presentation, genetic makeup, genetalia, and biological sex are all different things, and not everyone is built the same. Be a kind person with anyone and everyone's identity. You never know their whole background, and frankly, it's not your business. Just be respectful. Period.
💜💜💜
This needs way more likes
Some people enjoy being disrespectful. Unfortunately, that's almost half the population in the current political climate.
@@prodbyperc404 literally search it up. It's right there in science articles
@@prodbyperc404 even in nih
I found out from a intersex person(really nice btw) that they ended up being confused as they grew up because during their puberty years they didn't know that they was intersex or what it was especially since the doctors changed his privates since he was a baby. The parents also put him on different medication like testosterone forcefully as a young kid because he couldnt choose. Let your kids be and let them choose to want this kind of surgery when they're older stop making choices for your children people.
they put him on testosterone when he was a kid? where do you live that that is allowed?
@@ADarnSmore it's considered "corrective" by most medical law in nearly every single state. It's most common in conservative ones. Gosh I wonder why.
@@ADarnSmore testosterone for anyone who's not ftm is handed out like candy, I've heard multiple ads that are selling testosterone so old dudes can lift more at the gym, its ridiculous.
@@AvaNightingale "NO GENDER AFFIRMING CARE FOR CHILDREN THAT'S PEDERPHILLIAA!!!!!!! unless it's gender affirming care that i like -insincerely, conservatives."
@@ADarnSmore lol YUP Like their heroes who are on all the hormones and steroids... Buddy, that's actual gender dysmorphia lol
I was born intersex and assigned male at birth. I never felt like a boy growing up, and it always felt right to be grouped with girls. I had my first period at 16, and I started hormonally transitioning at 20, back in October. Great to see my fellow intersex family so well represented in this type of content! Keep up the great videos
thank you for sharing! so do you identify as a trans woman in addition to being intersex?
Wow that's actually really interesting, thanks for sharing, so they assigned you male but you got your period, were you able to change your sex on birth certificate and stuff? (I'm sorry if that's too personal, as a trans person I'm just genuinely curious how differently they treat intersex people)
@@emikawaneru666 I actually haven't gone to change my birth certificate yet!! That's all the way in California where I was born and I'm living in Tennessee right now. Looking to do it this summer though!!
@@mxrporchids6411 yeah! I use the term transfeminine/transfem to describe my gender identity because being intersex is such a big part of who I am
I'm glad you were able to transition:)
Once, an intersex person was an airhost/ess on our plane. I don't remember much, I was like 6 at the time but I remember I thought they were hella pretty so I kept staring at them and my mother thought I was doing it because I noticed they were "different" 😭 She rushed to tell me that there's a lot of different type of people and I shouldn't judge them or something alone those lines, which at the time I didn't realise but is actually quite amazing. I will always appreciate my parents for raising me to never be biased.
I mean unless u asked them u don't know for sure they were intersex, they could've been trans or gnc or something else
Purely out of curiosity, how did you know that they were intersex?
@@canoncorgi I don't really remember because I was so young and it was so long ago, I think I just went with what my mother said but I'm not sure how she knew either ig?
same, I am LGBTQ+ and I am so, so lucky that my parents support me because I know that some people like me don't get that.
As a Geneticist, I can say that Hayden explained it pretty accurately !
as an intersex woman who grew up watching smosh in my early preteen years, i appreciate you for this, anthony :) it makes me so happy to see that someone who helped build my childhood is so supportive of who i am. you're amazing, never stop fighting for what's right ❤️
He fights for conversation but doesnt shove anything but reality down your throat. I appreicate how he does things it is so respectable and he creates a platform that is kind, understanding and wants to listen. We need more of this so people can have conversations and learn so we can better understand eachother. It makes me happy too because anyone no matter their background can watch his videos and learn without arguing. He is an incredible interviewer and i love that he is also helping viewers with a variety of experiences feel heard and accepted. It is so important especially today ❤
It must be wild to see a part of you like that represented on a show you like, especially when it’s so rare to see anything else like that
you just want the attention, I dont believe you are "intersex"
@@ville__ Have you seen their genitals?pretty sure you never did and never will so shut the fuck up weirdo.
I'm happy for you and I hope that you have people in your life who support you :)
This video makes me incredibly happy to see. I also have an intersex condition and for a long time we have been all too invisible -- many of us keep it a shameful secret as we go about our lives trying to fit into the societal norms. Doctors saw me as a medical curiosity or an exotic animal and I was often shamed or humiliated for my difference by peers and relatives. This video, coming from such a large platform, is a big step to allowing intersex people (people with DSDs) to be seen as humans who are just as normal as everyone else. Thank you so much for doing this interview, this means so much for spreading awareness and education to the general public, as well as letting intersex people feel seen and heard in a humane way!
I'm so sorry you were made to feel ashamed for this. Thanks for adding your story here.
You ARE just as normal as all of us :-) Everyone is different in many ways. I wish you all the love and happiness in life xx
Your perspective is so important
Sorry for your experience. I was born with a rare genetic mutation that caused my leg to look very different. I know these are different situations, but the judgment I got from that, even from grown adults as a child, was horrible. It’s so sad to see that anything that is “different” about us is shamed.
This was my experience as an intersex person growing up. ,Medical staff are never ready to deal with something likde this.
I used to go to church where they preached homosexuality was wrong. Then I watched a documentary on intersex and sent me on a 10 yr roller coaster on my spirituality. So glad I watched that video and am who I am and always question authority. 😊
Interesting how they claim it’s wrong and not who god made these people meant to be… but then there’s intersex people who are literally born this way… it makes zero sense. Because like “god” chose this to happen and created them perfectly.. so I don’t understand why these people are so against LGBT+ and intersex people… I know not ever religious person is like that but still. makes no sense.
So you’re intersex?
There’s more to religion than this. Everyone seems to place emphasis on this. The people featured in this video were “born this way” In the truest sense of the term.
it makes my little intersex heart happy that they included hormonal conditions
same here and i had to get those injections that have both estrogen and progesterone that stop you from menstruating and those shots are the reason why my boobs are still pretty big
@@notanormalcivilian65I’m confused are you a female intersex person? And if you are why would they want you to stop having your period if they wanted you to be a girl
This is absolutely a topic that people need to learn more about. Some of these stories made me tear up. Everyone in this video needs their story heard
Yes! Like we watch videos about people who exhibit a trait seen only like 5 times in recorded history. This is the type of stuff we should watch! 1/50 people is actually a very high number and people can't go believing sex and gender are so rigid.
@@18puppies91 XX and XY are always treated as the only two chromosomes we can have, but there are so much combinations and make and female certainly aren't the only sexes. It's really great to hear about people's experiences that audiences otherwise wouldn't know about
Look up Chloe Cole
@@jesseramirez9062 is it like Victor Victoria?
I have a friend who found out he was intersex in his 40s. No one knew. They found an underdeveloped uterus.
Did he have very wide hips and narrow shoulders?
@@jeremyud pretty sure, physical changes or looks doesnt always mean their intersex/female. There's some males out there(fully male, born and assigned as male at birth.) Still have wide hips and narrow shoulders.
@@Va0zzi3 don't think they were suggesting all men will wide hips and small shoulders are intersex but it is a common sign of xxy Klinefelter syndrome so that might be what their hinting at with that type of question
@@Va0zzi3 i read this little reply section and was about to take it seriously and drink the information in, but your username didn't allow me to do that. i am now laughing at how this would go if it was said irl. thank you
@@jeremyud Not all cis people fit in stereotypical body standards like these. What is your point?
"The I is for Invisible" That was so relatable as an asexual; another part of the QuILT BAG that is usually overlooked. So many people think the A is for Ally. It just isn't.
exactly, as an aroace i feel that 2 fold
I had never heard QUILTBAG+ before and tbh its my favorite next to the alphabet mafia
@@lelalu101 "skittle gang" speaks the most to me tbh smth smth skittles, i keep confusing it with "crayon munchers" lol
god hayden is SOOOO RELATABLE. I even identified as bi before I came out as trans and found out I was intersex (and now am gay) 😭😭😭
funnily for me though I also have an intersex brother with pretty much the opposite intersex experience lmaooo
@@adventureinthesea if your gay do you like other intersex or people of your own gender (not sex just gender)
@@user-gq6bp6gm1c likely the latter. Most intersex people identify as men or women. Only a minority (approximately 15%) of intersex people are non-binary. Assuming the OP is an intersex trans man, if he is gay, it means he likes other men. Or vice versa if they are an intersex trans woman.
wait so what gender(s) are you attracted to? How does "gay intersex person" work in terms of attraction
@@akpokemonthey’d be attracted to the same gender as the gender they identify as. gender isn’t the same thing as sex so
As a trans guy, I GREATLY appreciate the education that Hayden has shared. I've been trying to explain analogous parts to people for so long and no one seems to understand the science. People act like cis men and cis women are two separate species, and entirely forget about intersex people. I'm sending this video to everyone I know
same, ima trans man as well and how little people know about the subject seem to be the loudest for some reason. people need to educate themselves more on just how expansive sex can really be besides just fools going "only man and women thats it!"
Someone should also send this to Ben Shapiro and Matt Walsh lol
Id do the same if i was brave enough 😭
@@Malvm666 they dismiss it as “anomalies”
So this is where the transmasc's are hanging out? Cool, *pulls up chair* how is everybody doing?
That’s crazy how doctors and parents allow for surgeries on infants that cause tears and body issues growing up :0 like the damage that causes just to fulfill the status quo is not okay
they don't care about children, they're just selfish
@@fl3m1n9o4 maybe they agree to it because they do want their child to lead a normal life.
Its mainly the doctors fault.. the parents don't get the time to understand the situation and the doctors just tell them they should get this surgery because its the "better choice".
Right? That would be traumatising for me even as an adult. Imagine having to undergo something like that in the most vulnerable years of your life and nobody will tell you why this is happening and why it isn't happening to others. Awful.
@@tinashe9967 physical body tears due to non-consensual surgical scars isn't exactly a normal life either
As a med student i wanna thank them for their time and amazing explanations, hayden you killed it!!!
You should do a "spent the day" with people with POTs. It's a chronic illness I suffer with daily, and it's underrepresented, many people have never heard of it despite it being so common. It can be completely debilitating for some people and often takes years to be diagnosed, or brushed off as something else. It'd be cool to see it talked about more and to have more awareness brought to it.
Salt gang ✊️🧂
I felt that part about it being brushed off as something else, my sister has been suspected of having it not too long ago, and yet they keep brushing it off as depression/anxiety, it’s real awful when doctors just… you know, don’t do their job well anymore because they choose to play god instead 😢
What is POTs?
@anaiyahluther I'm quoting healthline: POTS is a blood circulation disorder. It causes your heart to beat faster than normal in an effort to move blood around the body. This usually happens after sitting up or standing up, and most often within the first 10 minutes of those movements. Symptoms include dizziness, lightheadedness, shakiness, and heart palpitations, among others. While it’s not deadly, POTS can cause symptoms and complications that interfere with daily life and tasks ... It’s not entirely clear what causes POTS. There’s also no cure. But, doctors have a series of treatments that can help people with POTS live a typical life and avoid complications or life-interrupting symptoms.
I know I’m just on a tangent here but at @12:54 the circumcision thing. I’m genuinely angry that I wasn’t given a choice. I asked my dad why THEY chose that. He said “because hygiene.” That it’s easier to clean and deal with. SURE it is. But that’s like saying I cut off two of your fingers because it’s easier to wash ur hands. Fuck that. Some guys can loose up like 30% of sexual feeling and stimulation. That’s fucking ridiculous. And to assume it’s THAT HARD to wash your dick? (Ok yes some guys are gross af) BUT STILL! It’s beyond me bro. I have a friend who I talked to about this and he said. “Bro it’s gross, I do not want to teach or show my son how to wash his dick. Even explain it or spell it out. Gross.” First of all. Ok?! Man up and do it. It’s ur kid. Second of all. I have two sisters and our parents are long passed away. I’m dad. Me and grandma had to teach them and help them thru puberty. Periods, hormones, all that. Was it a little odd for me? Yes. Was it gross? Not really. It’s shit you gotta do man. Ladies of the family and friends are in the know of all that and usually take the lead and tell the girls what’s up. Dads should do the same for the boys. If you’re too grossed out to tell ur kid he needs to wash his dick? Shame on you, grow a pair and explain it. And if ur so scared of doing that that you would CUT OFF PART OF YOUR SONS DICK AT BIRTH?! I don’t even want to know you. Also I absolutely know this comment is off topic. But to end, we shouldn’t be cutting into baby’s if it’s not life threatening unless it’s for good reason and it absolutely should be fully documented clearly, so the person can know wtf was done to them. Common sense is getting rarer every day.
As a mom who fought with her husband to make sure her son wasn't mutilated at birth and finally wore him down - I have no idea what people are going on about with hygiene. The aftercare of having an infant with surgical wounds would have been way harder than the absolute nothing we have to do right now. When he gets older I'll teach him basic hygiene like every parent should. I'm sorry your parents made that decision for you :(
@@WhiteTrapeze thanks! And I’m glad you fought for that! It’s so antiquated and pointless!
It has to have levels, though, right? Are there different variations for different "cuts"?
@@REALPEDROGAMEPLAYS to that I’m not sure. I haven’t read about that. I definitely should. But the studies I have read are clear about it being “up to” 30% it’s definitely case by case as I understand it. But it’s very clear that it’s not necessary and absolutely is harmful.
I genuinely didn't know any of that about circumcisions. I was always told that it was disgusting and wrong if you didn't do it. Really wish I would've been told all that (thanks american public school system)
I recently read “The five sexes” and the “The Five Sexes, revisited” by Anne Fausto-sterling and I would highly recommend if anyone wants to read more about intersex people
Adding to my to-read list!
Adding to my list, thank you!!
thank you!
I loved Anthony‘s comment on every penis/every vagina looks different, „Every nose looks different!“ To be honest, i haven’t seen a lot of penises in this life, and even less vaginas (only my own). But i can absolutely understand the nose reference, and it kind of calms me to understand that there is such variety. There is no normal.
Right? It's pretty weird realizing that after being told your whole life that there IS a normal, and that there IS an average that most people belong to. But there's no such thing. Weird world, huh.
Society is strange... If you are born without good kidneys, you can have serious health issues, but with "normal" apperance, externally you wouldn't be judged and just you or your family have to deal with it. If you are born without a finger, society would find you strange even if it doesn't change any of your functions. If your genitalia and hormones are different, maybe it changes about your relationship or fertility, but even if you are healthy it's a so big question that all people have to judge and even the laws have to approach it. Just a thought here... 🤔
Some penises are mutilated at birth and some aren't.
@@nicrevenThat's almost the exact revelation that a lot of circumcised guys have, often in late childhood/early adolescence. You are going along thinking that this is the natural body you were born with, and then suddenly you realize you had half of your infant penis cut off. It's shocking.
sex worker here-- there is a huuuuge spectrum of penis colors, shapes, sizes, to the point that they barely look like the same thing!
I had a friend in college that was born male and 4 days later made female by the doctors. This friendship opened me up to others who are part of the LGBTQIA+ community. It also made it much easier to accept my daughter for who and what she is when she came out to her dad and me. Just remember a soul is a soul and we are all humans.
Thank you so much. I just wanted to share my story and to remind people that a soul is a soul. Treat everyone as you wish to be treated.
Why did the doctors make them female? If it's a sensitive topic then you don't have answer
They cut off his penis. Just like they cut off parts of the penises of most infant males in North America.
It’s not the same.
Hayden is a polyglot (from their TT, they know at least Japanese and Spanish). He seems like such an intelligent individual, just absorbing information like a sponge! He's clearly very passionate about what he's saying. So cool 🤩💛
what is TT
@@kikicauseschaos i assume it means tiktok (I don't use it so I might be wrong lol)
And possibly ASL because he was fingerspelling, too!
Isnt a polyglot knowing 7 or more languages? polyglot pŏl′ē-glŏt″ adjective Speaking, writing, written in, or composed of several languages. Containing, or made up, of, several languages. Versed in, or speaking, many languages. noun A person having a speaking, reading, or writing knowledge of several languages. A book, especially a Bible, containing several versions of the same text in different languages. A mixture or confusion of languages. A book containing in parallel columns versions of the same text in several different languages. One who understands or uses many languages.
One of my favorite things about these Anthony Padilla videos is how much joy and humor there is in these interviews, even when dealing with incredibly personal and challenging topics.
This dude gave us an entire sex-ed lesson, thank you so much
Also I want to say that I really admire Anthony’s ability to use comedy to defuse awkward tension in a way that doesn’t demean the maturity required for the present discussion.
I’m a proud mom of an intersex child!!! 💙
May you and your child have a lovely day :)
This makes me happy!
People like you are what our community needs, thank you!
Is it a frog?
@@howiegruwitz3173tf?
I hate that people always target fully-grown trans people who get bottom surgery instead of the horrible doctors that literally perform unecessary surgery on BABIES. INFANTS. Yet we're the ones being yelled at for 'trying to make kids get surgery and hormones'.
@And so it begins In what way? One is doing it for themselves, one is doing it for others. What do you mean by both are bad?
@And so it begins okay sex based sports is a whole other can of beans I dont want to get into but its not about "loving the body that you have". To Trans people the body they live in feels fundamentally wrong. Okay, you know how when you hear your voice recorded for the first time, it sounds not like you? Like you hear it and you go 'thats not my voice'. There isnt anything wrong with that voice its just not theirs. Trans people feel about their body like hearing our voice for the first time but 24/7 on repeat forever. And they never get used to it, they try and try and many of them want to get used to it but they just. cant.
@@andsoitbegins_ No they're really not. One is a consenting adult who has thought for an extremely long time about their decision and eventually decided to get it. It's no worse than any other cosmetic surgeries. The other is an unconsenting infant who got zero say in the matter despite it being their own body and may be effected in a negative way long-term.
@@andsoitbegins_ First of all, nobody mentioned little girls in this. Again, this is full grown adults. Also, it's not really toxic when you're getting surgery that will improve your self esteem and help a lot with dysphoria (it is dysphoria, btw, not dysmorphia. its a very common mix-up. and it doesn't feed the dysphoria, the majority of trans people who get it have far less dysphoria afterwards. not all, but a whole lot). while i get that you clearly don't understand this, please take some time to do research and find the difference between harmful surgery and helpful surgery, even if it is only cosmetic. you're *almost* getting the point.
@@andsoitbegins_ I feel like these surgeries are better than just letting somebody live in a body they hate. Saying "just love the body you're given" is dumb, if it was true nobody would exercise, nobody would wear make up and trans people wouldn't exist. (Tho I still agree with you on the fact that some people do surgery at a young age and regret it later but we can't generalise everyone)
SOOOOOO much of this conversation can be applied to infant circumcision. My husband almost died from his and he started ripping and bleeding from puberty until restoration.
Just an FYI, many intersex people hate the word hermaphrodite and it is considered a dehumanizing slur. It's not meant to refer to humans, it's to refer to plants and animals in a scientific context. Plants and animals can be hermaphrodites. HUMANS are intersex. IF an intersex person wants to use that word to refer to THEMSELF, ofc they can always take back that slur and try to take the power back for themself, but nobody should be referring to others that way. Just like any other slur, really.
intersex people aren't recognized enough, I'm queer and many people are unaware that intersex people are accepted in the community and intersex people are sometimes nonbinary or trans, but being intersex isn't inherently being trans. anyway, thank you for doing this topic. love yall ❤️
It’s LBGTQ I A+ for a reason
@@cinder7258 exactly!!
@@cinder7258 i agree, but most people dont feel the need to include them yk
just because you are trans does not make you intersex. Intersex is something that can be genetically tested for. Just claiming that you feel different from the body you are born with just makes you delusional, NOT intersex. You are disrespecting and downgrading people who are actually intersex with your trans sh*t.
@@cinder7258 many argue it shouldn’t be. A physical development disorder it’s kind of out of place with sexual orientations & identities. It’s like clumping Down’s syndrome with personality types
Being intersex, this was good to see. There needs to be so much more awareness, and acceptance, of intersex people... and protections of intersex babies. "If they can pee, let them be" was (and maybe still is, idk) a phrase I heard a lot in my younger years within the queer community. I fully endorse it. If there's no actual medical harm in leaving an intersex infant alone, leave them alone. Educate them as they grow up about their condition. And when the time is right, let them decide what to do with their bodies.
Everyone wanna scream "protect the babies" until it comes time to protect actual kids then it's all about what society thinks
As a biologist and sex ed teacher I thought I knew it all.. but boy did I get schooled today. WOW!
This is really interesting to me. How long ago did you study biology?
@@anaiyahluther not that long... but stuff like this is not taught for general biology. You need to be specialized to get there.
I'm a retired science teacher. That is why I'm here - to learn about ideas that I never heard about in classes years ago.
I didn’t find out about my intersex variation until I was 33. Ultrasound imaging showed a benign cyst in a duct that technically should have dissolved shortly before or after birth based on my assigned sex. If I hadn’t gone in to be checked for a completely separate issue, I never would have known as the cyst itself was not causing any discomfort
Omg that's so crazy that you didn't find out till you were 33!
I am intersex (I have XXY chromosomes) . I am very happy you made this video. Although I am an abnormal case of intersex, I found myself relating hard af to these people. Despite being XXY, which I like to think as “super male”, I was born with fully developed male parts and half developed female parts. I had a vagina and a penis (my testies were hidden up by where my ovaries would’ve been) and am a rather small person (both are REALLY weird for XXY people). Anyways, thanks again for making this vid. Intersexism is rarely talked about, I a really appreciate you talking about it.
same !!! im also someone thats a XXY chromo intersex person :D
@@miscellaneouscode yeaaaa
I can’t believe the Soviet Union was intersex all along… right on comrade
@@dawert2667 Surprisingly Wholesome T-T
@@miscellaneouscodend another one 🎉. Always knew I was different to the other boys at school like when they’d hit each other in the nuts & writh on the floor in pain whilst doing it to me bore no results it didn’t hurt it was like my superpower but sucks as obviously means I’m infertile like most of us are. I also sometimes had times where I’d look in the mirror & see what could be a girl looking back. I’ve never grown much facial or body hair. And I’ve always had a high nasal voice. I wasn’t diagnosed with XXY until I was 22 because a doctor wanted me tested cz he noticed something about me. I didn’t go for anything related to that I actually went cz I found a lump on my testicle which obviously is very worrying but that ultimately came back all clear & now they say theyre like small cysts or something but they shouldn’t cause me any pain or problems at any time. I always wanted to be a Dad but with XXY I kno I can’t but I’m glad there more people here in the comments with the same intersex condition. Like I know factually 1/500 men have the condition but Its nice to know other peoples stories & to know without doubt that I’m not alone.
Happy to support this, it’s a great video!
Gay
@@taisonbertalam2832 nice
@@taisonbertalam2832 no, intersex, not gay
@@taisonbertalam2832 Intersex*
@@75388 thanks for finding an emoji to describe yourself
You should do a day with triplets, it would be interesting seeing how the experiences of fraternal triplets, fraternal-identical triplets, and identical triplets differ and how they think about issues such as being paired up in classrooms, underrepresentation, the fraternal one feeling left out, and common questions and responses to being a triplet.
I’m a triplet and would love to see this!
I know identical triplets who were born on February 29th. I NEED to know the statistical odds!!
I’m an identical triplet! We are an interesting case study. One of us is left handed, right handed and the other ambidextrous
As a person who studies biology, the way how Hayden told about intersex was SO interesting. I love it
I can't imagine having a surgery for something so important and not even knowing what was done... good lord. I also can't imagine having my mom say something like Hayden's mom had said. I could never imagine telling someone else that, let alone my own child. Both of these two are amazing for stepping up and explaining things, and bringing forth their experiences. Thank you both!
Let the people choose what they want to do with their body for themselves, without forcing your ideals on them! Thank you for teaching us once more about intersex reality.
Learning about the existence of intersex people in AP psychology broke my religious shelf and started me on a journey to leave the cult I grew up in. Knowledge is powerful and speaking up about this doesn’t just help intersex people, it helps society as a whole take down the binary. Thank you!!
I didn't go too far but the comments are a breath of fresh air. Just supportive and positive. No twitter a-holes screaming "DSD" or "that's an outdated term!" Just a bunch of people being supportive and that is great.
wow, hayden is such a knowledgeable and understanding person. props to him!
Yes lovely
I had to stand up for my son in daycare. He was getting changed by a fellow teacher and she pointed out to me how he looked…. And said that being “in tact” must have been my husbands decision because he is Mexican. Honestly, it was mine. We had complications at labor/birth so my son was unable to get surgery. But I’m honesty so glad he didn’t because after being told he couldn’t have it until he quarantines, that gave us more time to do our own research and vote against it. Now I call myself an “ IN TACT-avist”
Yeah being intact is risky in the US, with people being so ignorant about it and having so many backwards beliefs. You can't trust anyone (even doctors) to not tamper with it in some way. Like why are people so concerned about infants genitals? Just leave them alone ffs.
Are you talking about circumcision? That's not even close to the topic this video is about. What's with the attention seeking?
@@LovesGaming37 The assumption and rudeness - lmfao you can leave byee.
Same
@@LovesGaming37 they brought it up its why they are on it
As an intersex person, this video made me so happy! It was so well done! Congratulations. Thank you for championing us in such a wonderful way!
Hi I hope you don’t mind but can I ask you some questions. Does intersex mean you’re born with a penis and vagina? And what would happen if your born intersex and you don’t get surgery to assign you to a gender like what would happen? Would you just have your period and also have a penis with sperm? Because I understand the argument of not performing surgery on intersex babies but then if they don’t what would happen? Also can all intersex people who didn’t get surgery get pregnant? And when you’re intersex at birth with no surgery how do they decide if you’re a girl or a boy? Or are you just neither just floating in the middle with a under developed vagina and penis. Also since intersex exists does that mean there are 3 genders not 2? Or is there still 2 because intersex people eventually go to a gender. I hope this doesn’t come across as rude I am just genuinely curious as I’ve only learnt about this in the last year when someone told me there was 3 genders/sexes. And I’ve never met an intersex person. I’ve only relied on google but hearing it from someone firsthand would be amazing
I rly appreciate that they use the terms sex and gender separately. A lot of ppl use them interchangeably which kind of contradicts the message that gender is separate from and isn't dictated by sex😩
It’s not a “message”. It’s a basic fact that has been recognized since the creation of the English language and only in the past couple centuries has it suddenly for no reason, other than to politically undermine trans citizens, has the word “gender” started been seen as the same as “sex” even though it ain’t at all the same thing
Classifying medical records for the patient??? That’s absolutely insane
btw these clowns faked it 🤣
@@ville__ why do you think that?
@@ville__ faked having a dick and a vagina? how?
This is one of those topic I wish weren’t so glossed over in biology classes. Even just learning about chromosomes was glossed over in my HS
I had 2 intersex great-uncles! They never talked about it because back in the day they probably didn't even know what was up, but my father, who's a doctor, was very close to one of his uncles and accompanied him to his doctor appointments and that's how he found out (he had ovaries, even though everything else was "male passing").
XXY intersex here! Thank you for this video!!
woah are you a calico :0
@@nicreven yep, We are all special in our own ways. Hugs!
That's horrible for a parent to keep a secret about a child's own body from them like that and not even let them know what certain medicines and surgeries are for. Who knows what kinds of medical issues could arise from that down the road, especially if the treatments were purely cosmetic.
i love how he never insults anyone and still lets us see into other peoples lives
I am one of those who have been ignorant this whole time about intersex people. Whenever I asked about it I was always pushed aside or laughed at or whatever. This is very educational for me, especially if I want to have children in the future. So thank you very much for bringing a light to intersex people 💜💜
Thank you so much for making a video about this! I am a young intersex person who has recently found out I am intersex and so so many people don't know much about it and if people just did it would make intersex kids just like me have an easier experience with finding out they are intersex and maybe doctors would take us seriously too. I don't even think some doctors know about it or even think of it, when I was younger I would see the diagrams of what a typical female body should look like and think "oh I don't exactly look like that but I'm sure what I have is just normal" well now I know it's not. My condition is more physical but I do have some really bad hormonal issues such as a never ending period that I had for over a year (I was 10 when it started and doctors didn't take me seriously) luckily for me it only really started to become noticeable as I got older and I never had surgeries forced on me (atleast from my knowledge) but I am slightly scared of doctors as a young intersex person because I know many doctors have made young intersex people go through surgeries and hormone treatment which I really don't want
Every few months I find myself looking into stuff about intersex people, and every time I end up learning more new stuff. This video was great :)
Edit : the further into this it got the more I understand that these surgeries on these babies should be illegal. I would never do that to my children. It's their choice when they grow up. Just like with transitioning, they don't allow children to do that until 16 it should be the same with this. I've done a lot of home care work and I can confirm from all that experience with different ages and sexs that no private parts has ever been the same as another's. My friend is a obgyn and they've never seen any parts that were the same. It's silly to think they would be.
Anthony makes me feel so safe. He's so welcoming and open-minded. This video was so educational for me and interesting to listen to.
As someone who is intersex with an intersex child... thank you 🥺
Hi I hope you don’t mind but can I ask you some questions. Does intersex mean you’re born with a penis and vagina? And what would happen if your born intersex and you don’t get surgery to assign you to a gender like what would happen? Would you just have your period and also have a penis with sperm? Because I understand the argument of not performing surgery on intersex babies but then if they don’t what would happen? Also can all intersex people who didn’t get surgery get pregnant? And when you’re intersex at birth with no surgery how do they decide if you’re a girl or a boy? Or are you just neither just floating in the middle with a under developed vagina and penis. Also since intersex exists does that mean there are 3 genders not 2? Or is there still 2 because intersex people eventually go to a gender. I hope this doesn’t come across as rude I am just genuinely curious as I’ve only learnt about this in the last year when someone told me there was 3 genders/sexes. And I’ve never met an intersex person. I’ve only relied on google but hearing it from someone firsthand would be amazing
Weirdos
For my understanding being intersex is rare. I don't mean to be rude but how do you have an intersex child and your also intersex yourself? Is it your genetic make up? Or is your child adopted? I'm just curious because it would be interesting to know if being intersex is genetic.
@@GodlessFiend that is not nice
@@GodlessFiend chill
This interview was honestly so enlightening! I learnt so much about the spectrum involving being intersex, as well as the immeasurable impact it can have on a person growing up. Thanks so much for bringing this type of content to KZhead Anthony, I think it helps to make a more empathetic and aware online community :)
I'm intersex and my condition is hyperestrogenism, but I also have PCOS which confused people but shrug. My hyperestrogenism caused my chest to grow so big that it's genuinely almost a quarter of my weight, I am considered "obese" in weight because of my chest. If my chest was gone I'd be average weight. Having hyperestrogenism is really hard since I'm a gay trans man as well, even with the help of the heightened testosterone in PCOS and HRT combined I will probably never pass. It hurts, but I'll figure out a way.
By the way, I put quotations over obese because that's what my family calls me. There's nothing wrong with being fat, I still would be fat myself even with top surgery, I would just be average weight since I'm also 4'10/145cm.
You've got this and you're valid
have you considered top surgery?
@@Anonymous-54545I was wondering the same, not sure if it would be safe in this situation though
I've been wondering if I'm intersex for awhile. People ask if I'm a man or woman, and I remember my mom being told I produced more testosterone and the guy at the clinic looked concerned! She didn't want me knowing about it, but I definitely heard it. There's other things I won't mention that make me think I could be. I'm happy this video exists!
Definitely check it out, you totally could be
This is such an interesting topic that really deserves more awareness. As someone in the lgbt community, I really haven't heard much about intersex people and I wish I had sooner. Everyone was so sweet, funny, and knowledgeable! Great video thank you to all involved
Anthony, you should do an interview with people with PCOS, I have it, and I'm strictly "technically" on the intersex spectrum
what is it?
PCOS isn’t intersex? It’s cysts on ovaries
Completely not intersex 😂
@@edwardnashtonsglasses PCOS or poly cystic ovary syndrome - like other people said is caused by cysts on the ovaries. This leads to increased testosterone production (note both male and female people produce testosterone and estrogen just in different amounts) which can give rise to secondary sex characteristics like different body fat distribution, increased body hair, facial hair, hair loss aka a toned down version of a typical male puberty. It can even lead to things like the clitoris growing. I don't know what's expected for testosterone levels from pcos but the levels of testerone that trans men get can lead to growth of 1-3 inches. Typically speaking pcos isn't classified as an intersex condition, but it can present similarly and some people are trying to get it classified as a type of intersex. Aka once again labels and categories are bad at getting into 100% of the nuance.
This is probably my favorite interview yet. You all have such a great time. Anthony is becoming so much more versed in communicating with people on such personal topics in a way that shows humor and maturity. I mean, that's what this channel has been about for a while now, but he's able to navigate those different tones so effortlessly now. Like he'll do his classic sarcastic bit, but he doesn't let that slow the momentum or depth of the discussion. It's almost like a check-in to see if everyone's still having a good time, then they keep diving deeper without missing a beat. Well, I gotta give credit to the editors too right? But to be able to do all that while still maintaining a safe space for the guest is really special. And btw does that say Howie Mandel? This channel is reaching wider and wider every day.
A television host from our country was born intersex. They presented as female up until a few years ago when they revealed they had surgery as a baby to present as female. But they felt intersex described their genderidentity best. They changed their name to a gender neutral one, and although not everyone understood, they could continue their career without trouble.
Wow, I want to know more! What's their name?
As an intersex woman, it's so great to see other people like me represented in a KZhead video. Whenever you make videos like this, it spreads not only awareness, but acceptance. Keep up the great content, man! Cheers
The way my jaw dropped at the genius idea of QUILT BAG omg!!
what's the U??
@@janine2957 unlabeled
@@janine2957 I'm pretty sure he explained that it stands for undecided and unlabeled
I really wish it, or something similar, was used instead of LGBT+! I personally just write LGBT+ because there are literally infinite letters so whether or not I'm writing the QIA part I'm still not including everyone. So it makes more sense to me to just write LGBT+. But yeah QUILTBAG makes way more sense.
Kinda sad the shout out portion was removed, Hayden and Maria both seem like a great people, so kind, understanding, and genuinely care.
Thank you. 💛 I was kinda bummed about them taking out the shoutout portion too. I thought I was very brief, but maybe that part was in the portion where people suscribe. I have an online memory program to help people learn languages faster. At least the link was placed in the description. 😂 lol
@@haydensoto3780 Really glad you got back to me, thats super cool ngl. I didnt even think to check the description lol
Hey!!! Intersex lady here, it did affect my relationship with gender and I can thank it for that. When I found out I was intersex during puberty, it changed my life and I am so much more confident in my own skin. It came with cancer and two surgeries, but I wouldn’t change a thing. Major awakening in my life :)
I discovered I was intersex after complications with HRT, found out my chromosomes are XY but I was assigned female at birth. Swyer Syndrome Intersex is the term. My natural testosterone is higher than normal so my HRT had to be adjusted. Please remember that not all intersex folks are okay with the term Hermaphrodite as it's definition is "someone with both sets of gonads" which is a small sub category of the community, kinda like calling all lgbt people gay. I personally find it a slur term but we all are different so ask first and when in doubt, just call us intersex. Thank you Anthony for shedding light on our community
i was gonna say, the h word is kind of like the word dyke. its not often considered a slur, but its definitely a word you should NEVER call someone unless they specifcally state its okay to call them by that term
It's a slur why? If the definition is someone with both, isn't that the same thing as intersex?
@@xer0cide881 because herm means/implies: having "two different sets of visible gonads" as they said...
@@DivineLightPaladin that didn't answer my question
@@xer0cide881 not all intersex people have both sets of gonads. Which is why it's rude to call all intersex people hermaphrodites. Like I said in my original comment. It would be like calling all lgbt people gay, which is definitely rude to those with asexuality and gender identities in the community as it counts towards erasure. Intersex does not equal hermaphrodite but hermaphrodite does equal intersex.
These two crushed this interview! Extremely well informed, intelligently explained, and just seemingly awesome personalities! Wait to educate the community and me :D
As a religious conservative who has always been strictly female, these guests are absolutely wonderful and Hayden's compassion for the the kind of conservatives who might fear what they don't know is so wholesome. That's the kind of love Jesus taught about. He's someone who can inspire others to be more compassionate towards their political opponents on both sides of the aisle. I know a lot of conservatives don't like most leftists for being so hateful but leftists could say the same thing about certain conservatives. We all need to have compassion and empathy for one another and that empathy begins with the facts which he brings in full. 🙏
Really nice and refreshing to see a conservative with empathy. Have a good day and keep spreading that compassion :)
Well said! Bless you ❤️
As someone who took biology as minor in university, some of the things brought up here caught even me off guard and I was surprised in a positive way. Like it's so fascinating that basically we're just all really similar on the inside and some parts are just either smaller or larger and function differently due to the endochrine system doing wacky things
As always, it’s so fantastic to see Anthony providing such an accepting and empathetic place for these people to share their thoughts and experiences :)
AIS actually runs in my family. I have 3 cousins who are intersex. My older cousin, she found out when she never got a period. I remember learning about this when my cousin “got surgery to remove her ovaries because they can cause cancer(due to them not connecting to a uterus)”and in turn cannot have children. I was so confused by this- because I knew something was unsaid. Come to find out, she has AIS. My other cousins are little - 2 and 6-7 months. I’m curious to see how they will grow up and how my Aunt will raise them…
People with AIS isn't an "interseggs" condition. People with it still fit the definition of a "female".
@@soundsdankfx7765 That's a very uneducated view. How are you even defining female in this case? People with AIS range from having "typical" male genitalia to "typical" female genitalia, with many things in-between. It is very much an intersex condition lmao This is coming from an intersex person btw ;)
My aunt had a very similar situation to Hayden. It was the late 50s, early 60s so they assigned her male at birth (boys are better mentality 🙄 rural Indiana/Illinois) and did some surgery. She was on hormone therapy for a long time. She decided to stop taking her hormones in her 40s and her body totally changed. She was a very skinny man but she is very voluptuous now 😅 Like Hayden and the trans experience, she always felt like she was the wrong gender. And she's a lesbian. After she transitioned and came back into our lives (family drama and my mom was very religious so our aunt didn't want to add stress to my mom's medical conditions. Jokes on her tho, my mom gave zero shits, as long as you are a good person), she told us her story and my mind has never comprehended the anti-trans bills. It's okay to take the choice away from intersex kids but giving teens choices is bad? Supporting kids wearing whatever they want or having whatever hairstyle they want is bad? But doing cosmetic surgery of babies genitalia is A-Okay so they "fit in" better. WHO IS LOOKING AT JUVENILE GENITALS?! Kinda seems like a surgery that can wait...
Yesterday I read of a man who was 70 when he found out he is intersex. Then that 75% of people with his condition NEVER find out. It’s sad how much complete rubbish is in the mainstream, when intersex people are writing and making films and setting up groups, and the majority of us never come across sensible information. Thank to all intersex people who provide info that anyone can access for a mature adult comment on the subject.
i honestly learn more about puberty and health related things from these videos than i did in public school health classes
Anthony could you do a video with kids who survived troubled teen programs (for example: provo canyon, Columbia girls academy, Elan school…)
Don't forget the Judge Rotenberg Center!
yes please!!!!! troubled teen AND jrc!
Really grateful that Hayden and Maria felt comfortable sharing their experience/knowledge here (and people in the comments!) 💛💜
such a nice thing to see people spreading awareness on this!