Change Your Closet, Change Your Life | Gillian Dunn | TEDxWhiteRock

2018 ж. 17 Шіл.
3 226 295 Рет қаралды

We live in abundance, but suffer from a scarcity mindset. This talk was born out of a candle melting in the closet before the chance of being lit, and sent Gillian on a journey of discovering why. This talk takes you through why we, as humans, stockpile stuff, the mindsets that drive this action, and why it is imperative that we change before it's too late. Gillian utilizes research, personal experience and stories from the Emergency Department to remind us that we must choose everyday what kind of life we want to live. Gillian Dunn works as a Registered Nurse in the Emergency Department. She loves the fast pace, interacting with people from all walks of life, and putting structure and organization into an environment that is often chaos. She often receives two responses
when she tells people she works in the Emergency “I could never do that!” and “Oh man, one time I was in emerg and...” She is very interested in a simple and intentional life. In the last year, she has really tried to simplify her life so that she has time for the things she enjoys and wants to focus on. This has left more room for learning, growing and challenging herself. She believes it’s the little things in life that turn out to be big in the end, and she is trying to focus on those little things. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

Пікірлер
  • Before my mother died, she was having a conversation about her life and regrets etc. She said with all sincerity that her biggest regret was not wearing her 'good clothes' every day. In the months before she died, she wore a chunky, glitzy rhinestone necklace every single day, that had previously sat 'in a safe place' in her drawer for almost 60 years. This small act made her last days so much happier.

    @BlackCoffeeee@BlackCoffeeee Жыл бұрын
    • Glad your Mother left you with this memory. After my Mom passed I found many gifts she felt were too precious to use. Wish she had put her self first.

      @ilax4244@ilax4244 Жыл бұрын
    • Damn

      @Hasnain1F@Hasnain1F Жыл бұрын
    • 🥺

      @camanou1430@camanou1430 Жыл бұрын
    • @ladyfitness67@ladyfitness67 Жыл бұрын
    • Same hppnd with my mom She only saved money for us. For our good future

      @reefa5345@reefa5345 Жыл бұрын
  • "wear the dress you never have a reason to wear" is an awesome idea for a party theme

    @PumpkinMozie@PumpkinMozie4 жыл бұрын
    • You're so right!

      @kori8077@kori80774 жыл бұрын
    • Ikr :-D

      @ziia_zoozoo5231@ziia_zoozoo52314 жыл бұрын
    • 😁😁😁😁 lol.

      @lauralunaazul@lauralunaazul4 жыл бұрын
    • I would wear my wedding dress 😁

      @annaturba@annaturba4 жыл бұрын
    • My mom and her friends used to have "all dressed up and no where to go" parties when they were in their early 20s in the 70s and the pictures are FABULOUS!

      @opalcourtney6437@opalcourtney64374 жыл бұрын
  • I had a friend who dined every night with his partner using the good china, the crystal, and candlelight. He died in an accident when he was 36. I am so glad he used "the best of everything" and did not save it for a special occasion

    @pamelap.123@pamelap.1232 жыл бұрын
    • Wow, this is a powerful reminder Pamela. So good he chose to live fully when he had the chance. Blessings.

      @emilythesongbird2306@emilythesongbird23062 жыл бұрын
    • Thank you for this lesson!

      @daranadine7711@daranadine77112 жыл бұрын
  • My grandmother gave me 5 paintings and my grandfather argued that they were too expensive to give me to which she said, "I rather have these paintings hung in her room than in my attic rotting."

    @MarinaAlbarracin@MarinaAlbarracin2 жыл бұрын
    • I gave my sister an art piece that was expensive because it was not on my wall and knew she wanted it for a while.

      @acer4237@acer42372 жыл бұрын
  • My friend and I identified that sometimes we buy clothes for the life we wish we had, rather than the one we have 🤣

    @merrywalsh2809@merrywalsh28094 жыл бұрын
    • I did that one time, instead of buying a t shirt I bought a shirt that I always felt good when I wore... but still didn't wear much, and I wish I'd worn it more. I donated it or lost it when I moved. The moral of this story is to go shopping when you're a little bit high (it's legal now here in Canada) and... ok maybe that's not a very good moral at all.

      @theoldaccountthatiusedtous6767@theoldaccountthatiusedtous67674 жыл бұрын
    • So true....

      @lexaon1@lexaon14 жыл бұрын
    • Actually, it hit hard.

      @snehalparab8499@snehalparab84993 жыл бұрын
    • Shopping for my aspirational lifestyle 🤦‍♀️

      @amylebeau2490@amylebeau24903 жыл бұрын
    • That's why I have clothes 4 sizes down. Sigh

      @FutureCommentary1@FutureCommentary13 жыл бұрын
  • I just light my candles and now my two year old is singing happy birthday 🤣

    @ajohonly3721@ajohonly37214 жыл бұрын
    • Aww that's so sweet it's a happy BIRTHDAY to something great in your lives,stay blessed 😍

      @quinetteadaobiartsofanapos9756@quinetteadaobiartsofanapos97564 жыл бұрын
    • Quinette Adaobi yes 💕amen 🙏

      @ajohonly3721@ajohonly37214 жыл бұрын
    • @@ajohonly3721 🤗😘

      @quinetteadaobiartsofanapos9756@quinetteadaobiartsofanapos97564 жыл бұрын
    • So cute!

      @pamelamarshall3726@pamelamarshall37264 жыл бұрын
    • Ajoh Wong so cute

      @fabqatv5824@fabqatv58244 жыл бұрын
  • This talk made me think of my 5 year old. She likes to wear/use her special stuff “because it makes me extra happy” (her words). I tend to keep my special stuff in my closet. I should be like her more.🤔

    @exoticwallflower@exoticwallflower3 жыл бұрын
    • From the “mouths of babes” as the Bible says Kids have more insight than we give them credit for

      @sisterlove2733@sisterlove27332 жыл бұрын
    • Kids teach us so much! Let's listen to our inner child more often (and clap our hands too :-))

      @aniapolaczek1470@aniapolaczek14702 жыл бұрын
    • Yes you should hehe

      @dphnvllrb7379@dphnvllrb73792 жыл бұрын
    • Learning this from my little girl too

      @eminitemi4513@eminitemi45132 жыл бұрын
    • ditto with my kid. i have figured out i like pajamas d best.. :D

      @shirukk1234@shirukk12342 жыл бұрын
  • “The reasons to stockpile stuff are based on two mindsets: I am not enough, and I don’t have enough.” That hit me hard for sure.

    @iceeirony@iceeirony Жыл бұрын
  • My mother-in-law taught me this concept 40 years ago. She said that beautiful things were meant to be admired, used and enjoyed. If you have to keep in put away to protect it, then you really don't need it. Get out that dress, use the good china and light the candle - celebrate today for the present that it really is.

    @dianereinert4552@dianereinert45524 жыл бұрын
    • My daughter has both my mom's "good China" and a set from her husband's grandmother - both pulled it out for holiday meals, and so do we. It's always fun to see those pieces between times as well, when the "daily" dishes are in the dishwasher, and we need plates for dessert, "special" or not! That said, yep, I have stuff that's ready to be pulled out or passed on! 💖

      @1Lightdancer@1Lightdancer4 жыл бұрын
    • i just bought a new handbag faux leather and have yet to change handbags. do not know what is stopping me. the new one looks to new to use i guess. lol

      @susieinthecountry4434@susieinthecountry44344 жыл бұрын
    • Irma Bombeck said the same thing in a hilarious column back in the 70s or 80s.

      @ebriggs3498@ebriggs34984 жыл бұрын
    • @@ebriggs3498 She's one of my all-time heroes!

      @dianereinert4552@dianereinert45524 жыл бұрын
    • So true!

      @ksc743@ksc7434 жыл бұрын
  • I bought this overpriced candle because it smelled like my boyfriend who passed away. It is even his favorite color. It sat on my shelf for two years. A few days ago I took the wrapping off. I decided to light it for the first time yesterday. I came upon this video today. Thank you for the confirmation.

    @melinatrevino1250@melinatrevino12504 жыл бұрын
    • @Melina Trevino, that is so beautiful. The speaker really focused on talking about the candle! A sign that your Love is watching over you. I pray that your heart is healing.

      @elizabethfoward9027@elizabethfoward90274 жыл бұрын
    • @immadolphin181@immadolphin1814 жыл бұрын
    • 💝💝💝

      @peacei4920@peacei49204 жыл бұрын
    • 💕💕🙏

      @ajohonly3721@ajohonly37214 жыл бұрын
    • beautiful synchronicity

      @hazelhall9203@hazelhall92034 жыл бұрын
  • When I was a little girl my mom read me a Dear Abby letter sent in by a widow. She had kept her china and crystal put up. She fussed at her husband to take off his shoes and not lean his hair against the unholstery lest he make a spot. She kept the house immaculate and her good things in perfect condition, saved for special guests. Her husband was killed and she realized that he was the most special guest of all. She wished she'd served his meals on pretty plates, let him put his feet on the couch and let him enjoy everything his hard work had provided. That stuck with me and I enjoy spoiling the people I love every day. The woman who wrote that letter is probably gone now but her message lives on

    @kissedbysun2517@kissedbysun25172 жыл бұрын
    • Thank you so much for sharing. It was really touching and hopefully transformative of how I will be on my future. 💖🙏 Thank you and may you be blessed for it. Amen. 💖🙏

      @HelloDecember525@HelloDecember525 Жыл бұрын
    • What a powerful story. Thank you for that reminder ...

      @ivonalatu4363@ivonalatu4363 Жыл бұрын
  • That’s why I love the idea of minimalism so much. Don’t spend time and money on mediocre things. Choose the best, have little and enjoy using the best every day. I don’t have a lot. I just have what makes me happy

    @natalya5525@natalya55252 жыл бұрын
    • Way to go!

      @MrRobotmaster101@MrRobotmaster101 Жыл бұрын
    • I applaud you!

      @conswaylolindsay@conswaylolindsay Жыл бұрын
    • I’m 65 now and am in the slow process of ridding myself of “things”. I want to reach the point where I only have things that I need/use or simply enjoy. I do burn my candles, I buy and use pretty disposable napkins, I no longer buy clothes/shoes/jewelry for a life I don’t even have. I am well on the way to not keeping things just because it was given to me by a friend or loved one. I can now get rid of those things so someone else can love them. I’ve finally truly accepted that my son does not want my stuff when I die…..he’s been telling me this for years 😅😅. With only the work I’ve done over the past few years, I feel more at ease and calmer. ✌️✌️☺️

      @heidimeigs5192@heidimeigs5192 Жыл бұрын
  • Thought she was a bit theatrical at first, didn't expect it to hit me this hard. She's right, my house has become a shrine for things that never will happen.

    @omsnaga@omsnaga4 жыл бұрын
    • ditto.

      @lakshmiramakrishna9255@lakshmiramakrishna92554 жыл бұрын
    • I love the party idea!!! Great message.

      @svaught1@svaught14 жыл бұрын
    • She's sending a great message and even though I personally don't like her way of speaking, you can tell she has a great talent for it. I think her whole talk was studied and rehearsed word by word.

      @stridery@stridery4 жыл бұрын
    • @@stridery was thinking of the same thing!

      @paulinewho5071@paulinewho50714 жыл бұрын
    • Uh i thought very shortly it's too exagerated and then I thought it's so wonderful like somebody playing a role in Disneyland. Beautifully done and beautiful story. :)

      @yanzi8543@yanzi85434 жыл бұрын
  • My Grandma always used the good china for any meal not at the kitchen table. "I'm not saving it for [my grandfather's] second wife," was her mantra.

    @rebeccamoroz336@rebeccamoroz3364 жыл бұрын
    • @Rebecca Moroz I love this story, and grandma's quote! Smart lady.

      @CatgirLinKC@CatgirLinKC2 жыл бұрын
    • ahah that’s so witty

      @andromedamaxima1543@andromedamaxima15432 жыл бұрын
    • AHAHA, that's awesome.

      @GoldieHoffmanComedian@GoldieHoffmanComedian2 жыл бұрын
    • Love this!

      @MJ-vf1im@MJ-vf1im2 жыл бұрын
    • Excellent!

      @nisebiggs6572@nisebiggs65722 жыл бұрын
  • I live in Ukraine and now we have a brutal war in our homes for four month already. Being able to wake up in the morning is already a miracle and because every day could be the last one. So, when I have a chance to go out with my friends I wear my things I usually wear on vacation because there might be no tomorrow for me. And me alive wants to enjoy wearing pretty clothes. And that's good you don't have a war hitting you with harsh reality, but life goes on until it stops. And NOW and TODAY is the only moment we are alive. So use it with love to yourself and the world 💕

    @olharymarchuk3369@olharymarchuk3369 Жыл бұрын
    • We are hoping for peace for you every day. Sending you love from Raleigh, North Carolina, USA.

      @DebbieCarraway-NCState@DebbieCarraway-NCState Жыл бұрын
    • @@DebbieCarraway-NCState thank you❤‍🩹

      @olharymarchuk3369@olharymarchuk3369 Жыл бұрын
    • Heartfelt Prayers for peace for Ukraine and all oppressed. May you have peace in your heart, mind, family community and may the world be at peace.

      @abidafarid6030@abidafarid6030 Жыл бұрын
    • Olha, my heart has been broken for Ukrainians' suffering during this terrible war. May God keep you safe and may the end of this devastating destruction and oppression be forthcoming. Many of us in the USA are praying for you and asking our government to send more and more assistance to your country to help end this war.

      @glendaoverstreet5144@glendaoverstreet5144 Жыл бұрын
    • The hopes and desires of freedom from this terror go out to you Olha and all the people of Ukraine!!! No person with good sense would have ever taken these actions. Please know that SO many want this horror to end for you and all of the people in your country. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

      @angelajohnson4245@angelajohnson4245 Жыл бұрын
  • I am watching this for the third time and have to say it is perhaps the very best talk I have ever listened to. At 78 with a house full of stuff, I am finally wearing all those clothes and using all those things that were "too good". Thank you!

    @rainwoodgrace6286@rainwoodgrace62862 жыл бұрын
    • Good for you! :)

      @mireiallamasbejar1345@mireiallamasbejar13452 жыл бұрын
    • Yes I used to tell my friends this but I have not been exercising it lately. I am going to now and just purge my house.

      @doreeb6314@doreeb63142 жыл бұрын
    • Great! And you may also start getting rid of 80% of those things, giving them to people that need them and will gladly use them. And you'll feel so happy!

      @mariacelestebustillobarraz3583@mariacelestebustillobarraz3583 Жыл бұрын
    • 💝🙏

      @Vikingshop@Vikingshop Жыл бұрын
    • That's so beautiful. 💖

      @GypsyGirl317@GypsyGirl317 Жыл бұрын
  • Welp I started watching random ted talks and now im putting on the dress I wore for my brothers wedding to clean the house 😂😂😂

    @BurlierBard@BurlierBard4 жыл бұрын
    • Because why not right? 🤣🤣

      @meridalucy6823@meridalucy68232 жыл бұрын
    • You do have a great sense of humor 😁

      @KumariKumari-fw7nc@KumariKumari-fw7nc2 жыл бұрын
    • You need to create the special event too haha

      @aniapolaczek1470@aniapolaczek14702 жыл бұрын
    • 😂👍✨

      @BellaandTB@BellaandTB2 жыл бұрын
    • Hahahaa.... that's the spirit.... 😂

      @prernamore9022@prernamore90222 жыл бұрын
  • I bought a ton of clothes when I was with my ex so I could wear on date nights. He hated going anywhere other than to his parents house, and I never got to wear the clothes I bought. Needless to say, he’s gone, I take myself on dates, and I get to wear my clothes 😊

    @l3l3Cakes@l3l3Cakes4 жыл бұрын
    • Good for you! And I hope that you feel WONDERFUL wearing those clothes. You probably look fantastic in those outfits, because you most likely spent a lot of time poring over each piece, to make sure you would really shine (and I am sure that you do!) THAT is the reason we should buy clothes -- because we know we look and feel really good about ourselves and our choices.

      @sandramac60@sandramac604 жыл бұрын
    • Fabulous!

      @freedonx@freedonx4 жыл бұрын
    • Good for you girl!

      @noornord1359@noornord13594 жыл бұрын
    • We do this as women!! We buy for our fantasies and shop for our dreams.

      @smrk2452@smrk24524 жыл бұрын
    • Alone? I never see woman going out alone.

      @flyingcat2054@flyingcat20544 жыл бұрын
  • A symbolic message, do not hide your life away while waiting for a better time.

    @skooliecatwilderness6346@skooliecatwilderness63462 жыл бұрын
  • “The mindset that we are not enough keeps our clothes in the closet and the champagne in the bottle” - Dang, she hit my soul

    @candykandy@candykandy3 жыл бұрын
    • I really haven’t felt like I wasn’t enough in myself…..I just really, really liked pretty stuff. And if one of something was good, that more was better! I declutter and lean toward a more minimalist lifestyle now to save my son from having to deal with decades of useless-to-him things.

      @heidimeigs5192@heidimeigs5192 Жыл бұрын
  • I was wearing my best makeup and favorite earrings yesterday, after watching this vídeo. I’m a stay at home mother and I have nowhere to go, but when my husband arrived he said I looked beautiful and sure I did feel beautiful. :) thank you for this beautiful message.

    @FranciscaSilva-bm4md@FranciscaSilva-bm4md4 жыл бұрын
    • Oh!! So very nice 👍 your husband noticed how beautiful you are ♥️💕♥️

      @bellaperuana64@bellaperuana643 жыл бұрын
    • Keep doing that! He will appreciate it and so will you!

      @gmoni2456@gmoni24562 жыл бұрын
    • YAY, Francisca! 👏👏👏🌹😊

      @leanaaymorejacob1211@leanaaymorejacob12112 жыл бұрын
    • aw, that's awesome! do it as often as you want! we used to 'play dressup' as kids without actually going anywhere outside, so why do we stop?

      @GoldieHoffmanComedian@GoldieHoffmanComedian2 жыл бұрын
    • Your comment has made me so happy 🧡 Thank you. Enjoy feeling good

      @lailaayan306@lailaayan3062 жыл бұрын
  • Yup this is true. Gave away 90% of my stuff and my life couldn't be better. QUIT shopping. Best thing I ever did.

    @kauigirl808@kauigirl8084 жыл бұрын
    • Awesome!! 👏

      @paula9197@paula91974 жыл бұрын
    • 🥰🙏

      @kauigirl808@kauigirl8084 жыл бұрын
    • I gave out a lot too! Shopping just pieces I know I need for A REASON! Feels much better

      @dhianaf@dhianaf4 жыл бұрын
    • kauigirl808 it’s so liberating! ❤️

      @soniakabir7@soniakabir74 жыл бұрын
    • I miss my days of living out of my suitcase. That was the most liberating lol.

      @kauigirl808@kauigirl8084 жыл бұрын
  • Last year,my 7 yr. old granddaughter got a new Halloween custom three weeks early. She wore that custom everyday before Halloween and enjoyed every minute she did. She taught me a lesson, to celebrate each day to the fullest. Thank you for this wonderful message.

    @Nita90026@Nita900262 жыл бұрын
    • My kids too! They - in February this year - randomly decided to put on something special for our event. They appeared dressed as a dinosaur and Spider-Man. I shrugged my shoulders and said “let’s go!” 🤣

      @eringrey9297@eringrey9297 Жыл бұрын
  • I learned this the hard way when I had a terrible house fire and lost all the special china and glassware and things I had been saving. Now I go by the motto "Things are meant to be used." Every day is special, so use the special things everyday.

    @jessicajaffeweinberger1419@jessicajaffeweinberger14192 жыл бұрын
    • So use your special day everyday :-)))

      @aniapolaczek1470@aniapolaczek14702 жыл бұрын
    • Exactly! Another day is a great excuse to enjoy the day and the good things around us. Always!

      @Leahrloo@Leahrloo2 жыл бұрын
  • "I have enough. I am enough". Great affirmation

    @user-60267@user-602674 жыл бұрын
    • My bestie use to say, "I am enough, I have enough, I do enough"

      @Thrivebeyond65@Thrivebeyond654 жыл бұрын
    • Usman Riaz true

      @fabqatv5824@fabqatv58244 жыл бұрын
    • If you like this, you may want to check Brene Brown talks (she has books too). I was amazed by her speeches and her book "Daring Greatly"

      @-nusechkin7786@-nusechkin77863 жыл бұрын
    • - nusechkin Thank you for the recommendation. It’s funny you mentioned it, I was actually about to buy her book one of these days.

      @user-60267@user-602673 жыл бұрын
    • Uh, there's a clear problem with that saying..

      @mostafazahid1710@mostafazahid17103 жыл бұрын
  • What this talk made me think about is less tangible things - like my talents and what I spend my time on. Why am I waiting to pursue a skill or hobby, or read all the books I have piled up? Why am I waiting to let myself shine through, to dance in front of people or be silly? I should live in abundance, do all of the things I want to do, and not waste my life not being myself- aka being someone else.

    @sallyreid151@sallyreid1514 жыл бұрын
    • So true ... Wanna do the same :)

      @HoNdUrAsxxAngel@HoNdUrAsxxAngel2 жыл бұрын
    • Absolutely!

      @lydiaphang792@lydiaphang7922 жыл бұрын
    • @Sally This is a far better interpretation of that talk than the talk itself. Completely agree. x

      @5cree@5cree2 жыл бұрын
    • What a beautiful response! Yes, we are here to pursue our deepest dreams, to explore, experiment and do what brings us joy! Be the unique divine spark of love you are.

      @emilythesongbird2306@emilythesongbird23062 жыл бұрын
    • Rings my bell too!!

      @aniapolaczek1470@aniapolaczek14702 жыл бұрын
  • After 19 years in an abusive marriage things got so bad I had to leave. My ex insisted we sell the house, though I would be the custodial parent of our four wonderful children. He informed me he wanted certain things that were his and he came to the house during our absence and took them. When we returned, our son's furniture was gone, our queen size bed and dresser and mattress, oriental carpet, and china hutch were gone. My four children looked at me shocked and dismayed. "Where will I sleep?" my son asked. "Where will we sit?" This was the couch where I read to them every night. My son's room was the biggest shock. Gone was the single bed, dresser, side table and comfortable chair where I used to sit and sing to him at night. It was literally empty except the clothes in his closet. All the shelves in the house were gone. When a home inspector came to the house I had placed my china from my first marriage, which amounted to 5 sets of china and some water and wine goblets, a crystal bowl and vase, into an old cabinet my sister gave me. The inspector tried to move it away from the wall, for whatever reason and a leg came off, tumbling the china, vases, goblets, and bowls out. When I returned home after the inspection I found a full box of broken crystal in the middle of the room. I've never been a things person, but now I realize that these things we receive, live with, secret away, use, don't use all hold memories. When we lose these things we feel keenly the loss of something intangible. Usually we feel regret that we didn't live life more fully while we could. We watched through the window, we let them watch TV while we cooked and cleaned up. We rested while they played. They are 18 and up now. I raised them alone from the time my youngest was 7. I quickly wrestled up a bed for my son. The cabinet that held miscellaneous dining room stuff, seasonal stuff and candles was promptly emptied and became my son's dresser. I've been so lucky to have the kids. I have so few valuable things. We have been in poverty since the divorce. But I have felt very very grateful that my children love me. Remember it's not just stuff that we say we will attend to later, or spend time with later...I have always told my children, "People first not things." They are close to each other, my three daughters and one son. While they appreciate they have grown up mostly without, they knew I did my best to provide. When I get a hug or a kiss on the cheek I tell them, "That's the good stuff." or, "That's the best thing to happen to me all day!" Remember, don't let the candle melt, but even more always say "I love you." and don't forget the hugs.

    @chrisl418@chrisl4182 жыл бұрын
    • 💖🙏💖🌅🌅

      @HelloDecember525@HelloDecember525 Жыл бұрын
    • Your husband "gained" a lot of "stuff" to be spiteful, but he lost the respect of his family. Furniture can be replaced, but his reputation and dishonor are permanently diminished. You win.

      @monicacollins8289@monicacollins8289 Жыл бұрын
    • What a beautiful. message

      @kennatouye3644@kennatouye3644 Жыл бұрын
    • Enjoy reading your story, thanks for sharing. You are a very strong human being.

      @MrRobotmaster101@MrRobotmaster101 Жыл бұрын
    • @@HelloDecember525 Thank you for sharing. Your mindset on life is very inspiring, especially the one "People first, not things" sounds wonderful in a world where things are often treated as more important than the open, warm and loving person they could have been instead. Loving and deep relationships with mutual trust is one of the most precious things you can achieve in life. I wish you and your children a wonderful life with much strength for all the difficulties life brings along with again and again. All the best, a stranger from the internet :)

      @minidini4000@minidini4000 Жыл бұрын
  • This is a powerful message with different meanings. Not letting your candle wax could even be not giving excuses for the unused talent or ability because you think you are not enough yet. Amazing! Thanks for this TED talk

    @abena7826@abena78263 жыл бұрын
    • Yes, good point! I've met many people who keep their ideas/creativity/talent to themselves, as if they'll run out. But I feel confident in saying-as a lifelong artist who has made thousands of things and wants to make thousands more-no one ever runs out of creativity, talent or ideas. Exploring and enjoying your capabilities begets even more possibilities.

      @kstreet@kstreet2 жыл бұрын
    • Great talk, great nurse!

      @giocondawooden5245@giocondawooden52452 жыл бұрын
    • ❤️

      @Peace-tk3gr@Peace-tk3gr2 жыл бұрын
    • That’s a beautiful thought

      @meou_meou@meou_meou2 жыл бұрын
    • Just when I was thinking I couldn't really relate to this talk😅... Yeah, I've DEFINITELY been doing THAT thanks for making that connection!

      @chiu8159@chiu8159 Жыл бұрын
  • My father passed away suddenly a week after mothers day. This video struck me in ways that I thought were healed up. Please, everyone. Don't waste your life.

    @stephaniec8816@stephaniec88164 жыл бұрын
    • I'm so sorry for your loss, Stephanie! :'(

      @JanaINJax2@JanaINJax24 жыл бұрын
    • So very sorry for you.

      @nadegearmour9378@nadegearmour93784 жыл бұрын
    • 🙏

      @susannal27@susannal274 жыл бұрын
    • So sorry for your loss. My Mother was stolen from us suddenly,by the big corrupt pharma. Don't take your loving parents for granted.

      @thewideawakeclub4843@thewideawakeclub48434 жыл бұрын
    • I’m so very sorry for your loss.

      @randimichelle2810@randimichelle28104 жыл бұрын
  • When late Erma Bombeck knew her cancer was terminal, she wrote a list of regrets. One of them was "I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage." Thanks for reminding me, it's great advice

    @TomThacker@TomThacker4 жыл бұрын
    • Such good advice!

      @Leahrloo@Leahrloo2 жыл бұрын
    • I didn’t know Erma Bombeck had passed from cancer. I wager she was still a beacon of humorous hope even in the end.

      @bootscatsbootscatsboots@bootscatsbootscatsboots2 жыл бұрын
    • I actually have a pink candle sculpted like a rose, and avoided lighting it for many years. It became very dusty sitting on the shelf just being pretty and when I finally did light it the decades of dust burned and smelled terrible.

      @blacksheep6365@blacksheep63652 жыл бұрын
    • I thought about her right before I scrolled to your comment.

      @mhharley@mhharley2 жыл бұрын
    • At that point in her life ,she also said,” I don’t buy brown bananas.”

      @lauramitchell6725@lauramitchell6725 Жыл бұрын
  • I watched this one before, and between that day & today I have sold my house, my car, and given away all of my THINGS except enough that fit into 2 large suitcases and moved to a different country across the ocean, married the Love of my Life, and am determined to lii Live here & Be Happy and FREE! 💙💛💞

    @anitawebster9450@anitawebster9450 Жыл бұрын
  • When my Grandmother passed, we found several items in her closet with tags on them. Things she was saving for "good". After that, I utilize all the things I think are special because each day I am alive is special.

    @lndylu2002@lndylu20022 жыл бұрын
  • I always set the table and use "the good stuff". My mother's home was bombed in WW2 and she has used all the good things ever since.

    @kjwalt6@kjwalt64 жыл бұрын
    • The first time I think a bomb can do good things too, though rarely. 😜

      @weip9328@weip93284 жыл бұрын
    • Wow thank you for sharing. What a life lesson. Thank you, it really hit me! 💖💖

      @HelloDecember525@HelloDecember525 Жыл бұрын
  • Today I gave away the "unworn dresses." Someone else can use them and they no longer match my lifestyle. Feels so good!!

    @dianebalch5369@dianebalch53694 жыл бұрын
    • I'll be doing that!

      @ialibugirl@ialibugirl4 жыл бұрын
    • @@ialibugirl I must do that too!

      @mioangel1227@mioangel12274 жыл бұрын
    • Did that! There's suddenly so much space!

      @disturbed1013@disturbed10134 жыл бұрын
    • Diane Balch that’s awesome 👏 you never know who might enjoy them.

      @miaridi6699@miaridi66994 жыл бұрын
    • I did that.. still do. And I always get news ones as a gift.. sorry mostly :) its about making space to welcome more.

      @devicetablet9305@devicetablet93054 жыл бұрын
  • She is very good at telling stories. I admire her. She is completely right. You do NOT need to buy more, you just need to deal with what you have :)

    @jennagordon4556@jennagordon45562 жыл бұрын
  • "When you put excuses on hold the other side of that is Joy." HOW TRUE!

    @mercyprinzess@mercyprinzess3 жыл бұрын
  • Years ago my mother visited an auntie of hers and was alarmed that she was living in a cold house and her sweaters were like rags. She bought her a beautiful, thick wool sweater to keep her warm. When she went back on another visit she found her still dressed in rags and the sweater she'd bought carefully wrapped and stored in a drawer. She asked why her auntie wasn't wearing the sweater she bought for her and she replied 'Oh it's far too beautiful to wear every day. I'm saving it for a special occasion'. After her aunties death, my mum found the sweater, still wrapped in the drawer. It had never been worn.

    @SueMoseley@SueMoseley4 жыл бұрын
    • Sue Moseley, that is a very sad story.

      @wallihaley5194@wallihaley51943 жыл бұрын
    • Thank you for sharing your story, Sue. I recently was told a story from a personal stylist. She said we have to buy our clothes not thinking of special occasions. She shared she knew someone, like a friend of a friend if hers, who would always be nicely dressed. When she was asked, she said she would wear her clothes because “What if I die tomorrow?” Thing is she did pass away young :(

      @nydianunez2690@nydianunez26902 жыл бұрын
    • How pathetic...

      @KumariKumari-fw7nc@KumariKumari-fw7nc2 жыл бұрын
    • 😢💔

      @deborahr3732@deborahr37322 жыл бұрын
    • Same here. I bought my elderly precious Auntie a beautifully embroidered bed jacket. She was ill and was spending her last days at home. After she passed my cousin gave me the bed jacket with the tags on.

      @sherrieabraham6885@sherrieabraham68852 жыл бұрын
  • My mom wears all her nice things all the time . She dresses up whenever she goes out, even to go to the grocery store or just to have dinner at our house.

    @adrianaalfaro9254@adrianaalfaro92544 жыл бұрын
    • Your mom is either french or italian😂

      @fleurdavril1465@fleurdavril14652 жыл бұрын
    • @@fleurdavril1465 my mother did the same. Not French or Italian, but old school. Teachers talked about her and thought she was an heiress living a slum-like life due to being in love with my "workman" father. She really only had 3 outfits but wore them with confidence, which is free.

      @suancarey809@suancarey8092 жыл бұрын
  • I live in a hut with a solar panel and a rain capture water tank . In the middle of primary rainforest . I have one drawer for my clothes and half of it is for bedding. I could live in a mansion and have a fancy car and an expensive watch. Just more stuff to maintain, pay taxes on, worry about and fill space in my life. I am 66. I have been learning these lessons fir a long time . I am living my dream right now. I teach sustainable living . Not everyone will choose to live like me, nor a problem. I just want people to see how small changes add up to a huge change in the quality of our lives. Great message ! Thank you ❤️

    @robbiePlanetaSano@robbiePlanetaSano2 жыл бұрын
  • I re-watch this every so often. All year (2020) I purged my home. Every cabinet, closet, drawer, etc. Sold all the clothes I don't need/wear even if I loved them and yes, it was hard to let certain things go. I feel happier and lighter and funny enough, now that I have half my wardrobe, I feel like I have MORE to wear. This all feels good!

    @og6920@og69203 жыл бұрын
  • This made me feel emotional...my husband passed away the beginning of 2019 at 28. Life is too short to wait to dress up or do something you've always wanted to do. I'm 31 and this is the greatest lesson I have ever learned.

    @childoflight3388@childoflight33884 жыл бұрын
    • Child Of Light -- What a beautiful response. It brought tears to my eyes. Bless you.

      @deborahsauter9794@deborahsauter97942 жыл бұрын
    • I'm so sorry. Blessings to you .

      @ananse77@ananse772 жыл бұрын
    • Sorry for your loss dear. I pray your hearts healed a little since you wrote this.

      @syzygy4365@syzygy43652 жыл бұрын
    • Praying for you during this difficult season 🙏🏼

      @LiveFit4eternity@LiveFit4eternity2 жыл бұрын
    • Sorry for your loss, but you still very young...move forward...life keeps going... don't let the candle melt in your closet. My best wishes!! Child of God

      @patriciacuan3707@patriciacuan37072 жыл бұрын
  • When my mother died, clearing out her closet she had tons of clothes with tags on. Saving them for a special occasion. That occasion never came. I swore from that day I would wear all my best jewelery, watches that I'd usually keep for a special night out. I also use all my candles, and get rid of anything that doesn't light me up.... Haven't mastered the notebooks yet tho, 🎊🎊🎊😊

    @Lisa_Fernandezhomeandlifestyle@Lisa_Fernandezhomeandlifestyle4 жыл бұрын
    • Oh yes! The endless paper trail!

      @jacquiet6040@jacquiet60402 жыл бұрын
    • The notebooks are the most difficult ones I'm telling ya. So I figured, the best way to tackle this to not buy pretty notebooks.

      @kingdomofthecloudsthestars1086@kingdomofthecloudsthestars10862 жыл бұрын
    • Same here. I was in tears when I was cleaning her stuff after she left. There were many things unused. .sad

      @nbanu2296@nbanu22962 жыл бұрын
    • Use those notebooks, consume them and make the best use of it 😊 I am also learning this.

      @faabihakhan@faabihakhan2 жыл бұрын
    • It's that notebook thing man!!!!🤦🏻‍♀️😬

      @evereign9385@evereign93852 жыл бұрын
  • successful people don't become that way overnight.most people you see as a glance-wealth, a great career, purpose-is the result of hard work and hustle over time. I pray that anyone who reads this will be successful in life..

    @ronwenthapelo3818@ronwenthapelo38182 жыл бұрын
    • I urge everyone to start somewhere now no matter how small, this is literally the time for that, forget material things, don't get tempted,i became more better the moment i realized this.

      @eseieanas2475@eseieanas24752 жыл бұрын
    • you're right, but any Investment without a proper guidance and experience is suicidal

      @aliciabennett9216@aliciabennett92162 жыл бұрын
    • Profitable Investment one can do convenantly at this moment are

      @nancydis4050@nancydis40502 жыл бұрын
    • : Estate : Share : Stocks market

      @nancydis4050@nancydis40502 жыл бұрын
    • @Funmi Tejeey you're right Forex trading is surely a lucrative way to invest whether you want growth, leverage, stable income or something in between.

      @Soboj-oy8me@Soboj-oy8me2 жыл бұрын
  • Just watched a video about minimalism, this makes me know how to start, get rid of everything except for the 'too nice items' and BOOM you are the person you thought you didn't deserve to be.

    @frostsavannahcat7633@frostsavannahcat76332 жыл бұрын
  • Too afraid to paint because my empty canvases and tubes of paint have so much potential, it’s almost better to keep them wrapped up and stored away in a closet. But every once in a while when i have the random days where I follow the urge to take them out and paint, I love it so much and think “why don’t I do this more often?”

    @sarahlevine2397@sarahlevine23974 жыл бұрын
    • Sarah Levine I’m an artist and my grandmother gave me tubes of old oil paint that I use whenever I make paintings as a way to honor her memory. If you don’t want to use them you can sell them or donate them. If you can’t bear to part with them, just do your best and make a painting that you’re proud of because you tried.

      @cecilyerker@cecilyerker4 жыл бұрын
    • @@cecilyerker Excited to let you know that I recently just picked up my paint again and impressed myself with an image of my boyfriend's dog on a snowy hike. Just gotta keep painting :)

      @sarahlevine2397@sarahlevine23974 жыл бұрын
    • Somebody once told me... “we don’t relax when we’re paint, we paint when we’re relaxed.” :)

      @saram2533@saram25333 жыл бұрын
    • OMG ! I TOO wh the Canves n the colours

      @limmingming4022@limmingming40223 жыл бұрын
    • @@saram2533 That is amazing. I wondered where my inspiration to paint was, i buy hobby supplies but never make time for the hobby. This is "my" melting candle.. and I always have an excuse of other things I need to do so this Ted talk made me think I need to just do it but painting has to come from within and I just don't have the urge... because I am not relaxed at this point in life. I need to change current life to enable relaxation to be able to sit down and pant. If I dont make the change it will not happen on its own. Thanks for that comment.

      @willm59@willm593 жыл бұрын
  • My mom told me once about a story she had heard about how there was a woman who had a dress for a special occasion. She had it for years and never wore it. Then she only ended up wearing it once. At her funeral. That struck me so deeply I still remember it to this day. I'm not sure where she heard it from but the message is still clear. Enjoy what you have when you have it, because you never know when it will be gone or you won't be around to enjoy it.

    @Neonravekid@Neonravekid4 жыл бұрын
    • This hits me deeply. Thank you so much for sharing!

      @MilouAT@MilouAT Жыл бұрын
    • @@MilouAT hope it inspires you 🥰

      @Neonravekid@Neonravekid Жыл бұрын
    • My mom told me too. A woman save her money very tightly..she never dressed up or had treat herself well. And... The money goes to second wife ..because she passed away too soon. We never know when our time is up. So enjoy and be the best

      @sparkdorable@sparkdorable Жыл бұрын
    • @@sparkdorable yep exactly! Enjoy things while you can. ✨️

      @Neonravekid@Neonravekid Жыл бұрын
  • I found a vintage bag recently and said I would only carry it when it was a special occasion, until my friend said to take it when I shop for groceries. I haven’t put it down since! I love this.

    @jail.6000@jail.60002 жыл бұрын
    • That’s just awesome. That’s how it is meant to be.

      @lizziebkennedy7505@lizziebkennedy7505 Жыл бұрын
  • I bought these beautiful drinking glasses in Venice and my mother says don't use them for they might break and I said to her I don't care if I break them, I don't want for someone else to have them when I am gone and they get to use them and break them 🤷🤦🏼

    @myragold3213@myragold32132 жыл бұрын
  • "When you put excuses on hold, the other side of that is joy, confidence and freedom."

    @user-60267@user-602674 жыл бұрын
    • I wish that were true for me. Maybe one day.

      @someonesomeone25@someonesomeone253 жыл бұрын
    • Realness

      @user-se7lw6ew7r@user-se7lw6ew7r3 жыл бұрын
  • She has a very developed and distinct articulation style as if she's been speaking for a long time. Glad she didn't keep it in the closet and conveyed a powerful message.

    @imaginativegirl126@imaginativegirl1264 жыл бұрын
  • This talk is timeless. I am glad to be reminded to enjoy the present and stop waiting for that big moment.

    @JoyceLuna@JoyceLuna2 жыл бұрын
  • I SO agree with this. I used to save my favorite pieces of clothing for special occasions, so they would hardly get worn. Meanwhile, the clothes i don’t care about, i would wear every day. One day i was like, this makes no sense, so i started dressing up more, and wearing things more often that i would usually save because they’re nice. I have this weird thing about not liking to be way more dressed up than others around me. But i don’t know where that comes from. I should feel good knowing i look good af!

    @SafeSpacewithSierra@SafeSpacewithSierra Жыл бұрын
  • My mother taught me to "save the good stuff for special occasions". One day about a year ago I decided to heck with that. I have a necklace that I had made from my mother's wedding ring when I got married and I hardly ever wore it. It was just sitting in my jewelry box. I decided to take it out and now I wear it every day and I love seeing it on my neck. It reminds me of my mother and it is so beautiful. It makes me feel good. Excellent talk Gillian Dunn. Well done! . ❤️

    @sharonjessen3585@sharonjessen35854 жыл бұрын
  • I'm feeling a little bit called out here, with all the notebooks sitting around that will never be finished or even started. They're too good to scribble in.

    @yogawarriorgirl@yogawarriorgirl4 жыл бұрын
    • I hadn't even considered the notebooks. I totally thought that I don't have anything I don't use regularly. I just want my nice notebooks to stay nice. Or to only have extremely organized thoughts in them. I almost wrote in my only empty one today but was like, nahhh.

      @TamaGalactica@TamaGalactica4 жыл бұрын
    • Start scribbling :) waste the first page on doodles. No excuse left. Then start writing down your most precious memories. Pick one and carry it with you every day 🌹

      @nadjak3410@nadjak34104 жыл бұрын
    • omg YES!!! i had to stop mself buying things like that when I realised it was turning into hoarding.

      @jadiecakes3241@jadiecakes32414 жыл бұрын
    • I call that "blank paper fear" Haha. I know how you feel. I have gone so far as to use mostly lined paper for artwork I find not "perfect" enough for blank paper. Looking back, a lot of those I wish were on blank paper because I did put a lot effort into those beautiful works.

      @rocsiali4092@rocsiali40924 жыл бұрын
    • I held on to a sophisticated coloring book for 4yrs bc it was too pretty. I didn't want to mess it up.

      @smrk2452@smrk24524 жыл бұрын
  • I am a retired CERN after working in a busy trauma ER in the southside of Chicago for decades. We dealt with life and death issues every single day. So this speech coming from a fellow ER RN is absolute wisdom loaded. She has all the credibility to make this topic front and center on TED. Have you watched an injured young child dying in front of you from domestic abuse despite all your efforts to save him/her? That thought can rearrange your priorities to the basics of living life today as if its your last day without the frills reserved for tomorrow.

    @tazg349@tazg349 Жыл бұрын
    • There should be more likes for this comment, and for the video.

      @andrearae264@andrearae264 Жыл бұрын
    • 🥺deep… I can’t imagine how it’s impacted your psyche to experience that. rip to that precious young child and I hope you find peace. Thank you for sharing.

      @raspberry_dreams@raspberry_dreams Жыл бұрын
    • I have been a paediatric nurse, and yes, I have held an 8 year old boy in my arms as he died from cancer. 😪 I have held babies in my arms and poured love on them who were dying, and unable to be cared for by their parents 😪 I have nursed many people dying too young of various causes. 💖 I have also seen many triumphs! 😊 I am now a stage 4 cancer survivor, and every day is a gift. I love using my best things! 🥰

      @GypsyGirl317@GypsyGirl317 Жыл бұрын
    • ❤️

      @carolgeorge6409@carolgeorge6409 Жыл бұрын
    • Thank you for your care and work all those years. Not every person can or should be a nurse. You made a difference in a lot of lives. ♥️

      @heidimeigs5192@heidimeigs5192 Жыл бұрын
  • After listening to your delightful talk I went immediately to the display cabinet and took out my late mother-in-law's beautiful Bristol green sherry glasses and for the first time poured myself a glass of sherry in one, not into one of the usual charity shop ones. It not only looks beautiful but the rim is smooth in a way that feels soft. It has made me so happy!

    @sandrapicton6349@sandrapicton63492 жыл бұрын
  • I've also had this "wait for better times" mentality with my body. For example, "I'll use my good skincare once I lose enough weight". "I'll stop tobacco/nicotine when my physical disabilities become cured". "I'll start back up on my art when my whole house is perfectly organized". I've been holding myself back. I don't deserve less now just because I'm not "where I want to be in life". These things I hold back on, if anything, won't be wasted but instead, at least somewhat enjoyed in the present, and in a way, help me on my path to other changes I'm striving towards.

    @rocsiali4092@rocsiali40924 жыл бұрын
    • you understood everything

      @valeriaponce9768@valeriaponce97682 жыл бұрын
    • Yas, girl! Let's do this! 🤗

      @blackcatcoffeeshop9566@blackcatcoffeeshop95662 жыл бұрын
    • Ugh I can totally relate... you must be a perfectionist procrastinator like me🤦🏽‍♀️

      @sisterlove2733@sisterlove27332 жыл бұрын
    • You will not get to where you want to be in your life if you don't start today.

      @kingdomofthecloudsthestars1086@kingdomofthecloudsthestars10862 жыл бұрын
    • Thank you 😊 I needed this

      @mariac6751@mariac67512 жыл бұрын
  • I love this talk and the comments. I love how some people find joy in wearing their comfortable, casual clothes and they are inspired to get rid of their nice clothes because they just never feel comfortable in them. I love how other people are inspired to wear their nice clothes more often because it's what makes them feel like themselves. We are all unique and we should celebrate that with the items that we buy and surround ourselves with!

    @miramorel@miramorel4 жыл бұрын
    • Mira Cordell yes! You said it well!

      @FruityUnicorn17@FruityUnicorn174 жыл бұрын
    • And that's one reason why people don't wear 80 percent of their wardrobe. It doesn't feel good. Pay more attention to fabric content. Close your eyes when you try something on. Does it FEEL good?

      @waynestaats9072@waynestaats90724 жыл бұрын
    • exactly,me too.There's room for everybody's way.

      @lisagale8992@lisagale89924 жыл бұрын
    • Thank u for this comment. I'm the type who enjoys wearing out there, luxury clothes and I've been trying to enforce this on my mother. Keep telling her that if she dresses beautifully she will feel beautiful, but alas she likes dressing casual and I only now realize this so thank u!

      @ghostsheet777@ghostsheet7774 жыл бұрын
    • I thought this would go more towards "stop buying stuff you don't feel comfortable with and that you never wear!", But I also enjoy the message "Just wear them!". Only by doing that you have the chance of becoming that person you once dreamed you could be. Or maybe you discover you're already a good enough person and that's not the dream you should be focusing on, and you through that stuff away!

      @AliceDamnation@AliceDamnation4 жыл бұрын
  • It was me 10 years ago, postponing Life till a car accident I barely survived. After that went to 30 countries and lived my best Life. Great talk.

    @comedypets214@comedypets214 Жыл бұрын
  • My mother-in-law had a beautiful green velvet dress that she loved, but hardly ever wore. One day, her daughter visited and saw the dress in the "donation" pile, resulting from my mother-in-law's "clearing out the wardrobe" efforts. "You're not giving away the dress, are you?" "Yes. I don't wear it. I mean, where would I wear it?" "Pfft. You wear it shopping, mother!" My sister-in-law has always been unashamedly herself. If you don't like what she's wearing, that's your problem, not hers. This was all the encouragement needed. My mother-in-law wore that dress til it was unfit to be in public, then she wore it as a "house dress" until it fell apart. And now any time I'm deciding what to wear, I think of "you wear it shopping, mother!" and I wear what I want. (Practical considerations, of course. Can't really wear the ball gown when you're going hiking, and so on) Another thing I found was that I had "nothing to wear" a lot, despite having a wardrobe full of clothes. Then I found Marie Kondo and worked out that it wasn't that I didn't have anything, or too much (though I kinda did), but that I had nothing that I felt like me in. I had a wardrobe full of clothes that other people liked. So I culled. Savagely. And now I struggle much less when putting together an outfit. My wardrobe is all "me" clothes now.

    @Luubelaar@Luubelaar2 жыл бұрын
  • People I’m wearing the dress on a normal Thursday and it was really cool because I have been wanting to do this for 5 years

    @MaybeM00dy@MaybeM00dy4 жыл бұрын
    • Congratulations dear !

      @vanitabara6452@vanitabara64524 жыл бұрын
    • Laureen Dudink very proud💜

      @inferno8115@inferno81154 жыл бұрын
    • That's awesome

      @SuperNatalie234@SuperNatalie2344 жыл бұрын
    • Cool. Wanna it too

      @natalliak4914@natalliak49144 жыл бұрын
  • That's it, I'm wearing my wedding dress to the Area 51 raid.

    @isabellag.2147@isabellag.21474 жыл бұрын
    • 👽😂

      @mimaprilgonzalez43064@mimaprilgonzalez430644 жыл бұрын
    • Yeeeessss

      @cassandrac8849@cassandrac88494 жыл бұрын
    • Isabella Zamora yessssssssssss💕👌🏻😂

      @SoftSpokenReviews@SoftSpokenReviews4 жыл бұрын
    • Lol

      @tashiming1082@tashiming10824 жыл бұрын
    • Isabella Zamora 😂😂

      @khinh1515@khinh15154 жыл бұрын
  • This was so refreshing, I really appreciate watching everyday people reflecting on their mindsets rather than KZheadrs / self-help gurus doing these talks. Nothing to sell, just pure insight from the perspective of someone that is relatable. She did a great job.

    @doctordonnanoble@doctordonnanoble2 жыл бұрын
    • Yes! This! 😊 💖 🙆🏻‍♀️ 🌿 👍🏾 Excellent observation and I agree.

      @GypsyGirl317@GypsyGirl317 Жыл бұрын
  • My sister lived by the theme, she used everything she had. Once I told her I saved my good coat, she asked, "is it better than you?" She died at 58.

    @wandawanda9027@wandawanda90272 жыл бұрын
    • Wow. Wise words! Thank you!!! 💖💖💖

      @HelloDecember525@HelloDecember525 Жыл бұрын
    • I’m sorry you lost your sister so young. I’m glad she seems to have lived fully.

      @misterfat4613@misterfat4613 Жыл бұрын
  • I was about to give up listening because it started off slow, but I’ve been practicing to be more patient and today it paid off.

    @joan-sayahdixon4216@joan-sayahdixon42164 жыл бұрын
    • Patience is such a good thing to teach yourself

      @freya5902@freya59024 жыл бұрын
    • just a suggestion: increase the playback speed for any speech focused video u find slow and if you're a fast English reader, switch on the captions... and you'll be done in half the time

      @clo6476@clo64764 жыл бұрын
    • I was listening to this as I looked for parking at work, I found a parking spot by the time it almost ended, then I looked at the car parked in front of me and the plates are YLO 47, I work at a high school and teens are very creative, perhaps that spells YOLO 4Ever and rubbed out of space? I don't know, but I will take this as a sign!

      @g.guevara6075@g.guevara60754 жыл бұрын
  • Yes. That's why, ever since my near-death experience, my motto is now "I have all that I need."

    @evazigon5288@evazigon52884 жыл бұрын
    • you should do a vid of it and post a link!

      @meyersonfire@meyersonfire4 жыл бұрын
    • What happened?

      @Zoe-dr5ps@Zoe-dr5ps3 жыл бұрын
  • They say third times a charm, I have pass my step 1 finally🎉🎉 for all my repeat test takers don't give up and don't be discouraged.

    @tianahill4528@tianahill45282 жыл бұрын
    • You will pass Every one has their own season,just keep going pray and believe you will receive

      @nancydonna3895@nancydonna38952 жыл бұрын
    • @Clifton Willard I'm sorry about your plight my friend but i was once in your shoes before i was recommended to Mrs Catherina Moore and that's how i passed My USMLE Steps exam

      @sarahmatt1176@sarahmatt11762 жыл бұрын
    • I only studied a lot when i went for the first time last year but the second time was so easy, all thanks to my aunt who introduced me to Mrs Catherina Moore am really grateful

      @marykings2894@marykings28942 жыл бұрын
    • Wow. I was only thinking I’m the only one she help pass nclex too.I really Don’t know how she work this out but Mrs Catherina is obviously the best, i studied her questions and answers just in 5 days and I passed, the materials she provided was exactly the questions I saw on my test day. Thanks to my friend who recommended me to her because she pass through her on her first attempt.

      @southerngabito3311@southerngabito33112 жыл бұрын
    • I have sat for USMLE Step 1 Exam for the 4th time now and still failed, i guess licence isn't meant for people like me😭😓😭😭

      @lorientheresa4844@lorientheresa48442 жыл бұрын
  • I realized something. I watched this 2 years ago and started using my good wedding china. It was delightful, and it felt so special, and we've done it regularly. I just watched this again... I *hate* using my wedding china! It's bulky, it's hard to clean, and deciding when an event is "special enough" leaves me with stress and doubts. I love my everyday china. I can dress it up and down, it's beautiful, it's durable, and I'm at ease with it. ...Like myself. *I* don't need to set out a different version of *me* for special occasions. I'm getting rid of that baggage. Thank you.

    @EC-xc9gy@EC-xc9gy Жыл бұрын
  • I love all the positive comments on this video--it's such a change from what one normally finds on KZhead! My grandfather was always of the same mindset. He believed every day was a special occasion, and so I inherited a collection of chipped crystal and tarnished silver, but I didn't mind. I saw some gorgeous earrings while on a trip to Greece, but they were too expensive. Still, I couldn't stop thinking about them, even when my tour moved on, and actually found a way to go back to that island and get them. But I have I worn them? No. They're "too nice" for every day. That stops now. (One of the things I teach is public speaking, and Gillian was perfect. No fillers, no looking down or at the ceiling, no hesitation, using pauses for impact, no distracting gestures or movements. One of the reasons it seems unnatural is it's flawless, and very few people can pull that off.)

    @j.h.moncrieffauthor@j.h.moncrieffauthor4 жыл бұрын
    • I wondered how she could remember what she had to say.

      @bannergirl1@bannergirl14 жыл бұрын
  • I wear my fancy clothes around the house when I need to improve my mood. One of the best things I started doing because how I dress for my Netflix or my dinner is my buisness. Such a great antidepressant to feel pampered. :)

    @AmbiCahira@AmbiCahira4 жыл бұрын
    • Yessss great I do this too!! To boost up my mood and to look nice in front my own mirror, its therapeutical ❤️

      @romy3582@romy35822 жыл бұрын
    • I will definitely try this! Thank you!

      @daniellecherry4834@daniellecherry4834 Жыл бұрын
  • I full time in my RV and I love the simple, minimalist life. You have inspired me to wear my designer dresses to the grocery store.

    @carolynjaynes36@carolynjaynes36 Жыл бұрын
    • yes! go for it! i'm sure they'll look lovelier on you than on a hanger :)

      @flairy1661@flairy1661 Жыл бұрын
  • It's crazy how true this was for me!!! Today I wore a cute outfit and necklace to work that I'd been saving for when I go out with friends...I felt more cool, confident and I even made a new friend! Definitely applying this in my life

    @kathy582@kathy5822 жыл бұрын
  • I recently got into the habit of wearing my best shoes and my favorite clothes on a daily basis. It's such a nice feeling, stepping out looking great. Why save it? What am I saving it for? Is feeling like I look good something I'm supposed to be rationing? No way! So now all my clothes are my favorites and all my shoes are good ones. (I saved a few mediocre things for yardwork) The rest got hauled off to charity.

    @candicewaller403@candicewaller4034 жыл бұрын
    • I know I bought them all

      @carolineward5153@carolineward51534 жыл бұрын
  • Yesterday my friend said, you’re the only Person I’ve seen all day that has on a skirt and high heels. I Looked around and everyone was in yoga pants, sweats pajama type pants and jeans. We should wear our nice things.

    @carolesteinberg7463@carolesteinberg74634 жыл бұрын
    • I get such comments all the time too. I am always dressing up; every day of my life. Don't even like looking sloppy when indoors. Life is too short y'all; let's wear all our nice clothes! 😊😍

      @CherieDeDieu@CherieDeDieu3 жыл бұрын
  • I use all my stuff and I always honored the principle: wear everything you own. So a I wear gala dresses to work. ☺️

    @JolienVDH@JolienVDH3 жыл бұрын
  • My (abusive, physically and emotionally) mother was a hoarder. She had an even more abusive mother and not much as a kid. And her mother would take her things and money. Growing up in that environment made me a minimalist. I don’t even like paintings and pictures on the walls. I don’t do knick knacks. I find having less somehow makes the things I have even more important. They don’t get lost in the clutter and blend into the background. I love my things and I use my things. I only have clothes I wear and *like* to wear.

    @wishingonthemoon1@wishingonthemoon1 Жыл бұрын
  • My aunt married someone who was sick all his life. It was a society wedding, and was featured prominently in an international paper. They were in their early twenties, and were married a little over a year, when he died at 24, a couple days before his only child was born. She used the fine crystal and china every day, and she said she was never as happy as she was that brief time. I saw a similar thing on Oprah, where she asked Luther Vandross for a drink of water, and he gave it to her in a crystal glass, saying it was meant to be used. She later did a show, where audience brought their "saving it" things. It was hilarious and universal, polyester yellow daisy comforters from the sixties, still wrapped, etc. Final story- I had a friend from another country, who came from a wealthy family. I went to school with her, and later we became roomates. The first time I saw her, in class, she was wearing a 1950's necklace, a literal BIB of one carat diamonds. I said, "Oh my GOD! Those DIAMONDS!!" She said, "Shut UP! Everyone thinks they're fake! I don't want to get KILLED!! Everyone makes FUN of them for being so TACKY!!" And sure enough, she was right. She wore it, and other pieces, all the time, on the bus, bicycling in the middle of the night, and people DID make fun of these nonpareil treasures.

    @opalfishsparklequasar8663@opalfishsparklequasar86634 жыл бұрын
    • Such interesting stories; thank you for sharing :)

      @jordanxfile@jordanxfile4 жыл бұрын
    • I have 2 sisters who do something similar; they were real gems mixed in with some FABULOUS faux and no one can tell the difference!

      @ebriggs3498@ebriggs34984 жыл бұрын
    • Funnily enough, you could own a designer handbag nowadays and everyone would insist it's fake 🤣

      @Schrauberella@Schrauberella4 жыл бұрын
    • Such interesting stories. TFS!

      @lynnmking3008@lynnmking30084 жыл бұрын
    • opalfish sparklequasar thanks for sharing! Interesting stories!

      @fabqatv5824@fabqatv58244 жыл бұрын
  • Hmmm. I once bought a 400 euro coat. I kept it in my closet for 10 years. Now that I'm a student again, I sold it for 100 euros and bought some food. That was extremely useful.

    @mkivts@mkivts4 жыл бұрын
  • I made my 9 yrs old daughter watch this presentation so she does not let any of her “Candles” melt in the closet… and It’s 10:25am in San Francisco.. she brought all her leftover Birthday candles out and wants to celebrate her birthday today.. (very cute!).. she has missed celebrating her birthday party 2 yr in a row with her friends.. not sure we will be celebrating her next birthday with people as Delta variant cases are rising up here and she is not vaccinated. We are either making cake today at home or getting from outside. We will light the candle, get the dress, shoes out that we have bought for “Someday Special Occasion” to celebrate her birthday. Awesome and inspiring presentation…🙏🏻

    @gallakochar4245@gallakochar42452 жыл бұрын
  • As an intorert, I can truly say that I relate to this; as I am always, waiting for the right time before doing something in my life. The 'clothes and candle kept in the boxes' reflects our ideas, goals and skills that have been kept due to some excuses laid into our heads to always wait for the right moment. And little did we know, those skills, goals, and ideas we have in mind will eventually be forgotten. If we always wait for that right moment to come, when is it going to be? that's why I also am trying to iply the quote "Do it when you're not ready". The message of this talk really hits hard on me:)

    @m3rra_@m3rra_ Жыл бұрын
  • "I am the Candle that will not melt today . I am the Stiletto that will dance on the street . I am the fine China that will break at a happy Greek wedding ( Opah ) I am the the nice suit that a boy will wear to a bar mitzvah . I am the present .

    @michellescarf8656@michellescarf86564 жыл бұрын
    • Me too. I recall buying a beautiful yellow dress and a scale to match. It waited 5 yrs for that special day. When I went for it, it was faded and didn't fit...

      @carolineward5153@carolineward51534 жыл бұрын
    • So nice x

      @chiaracastania6110@chiaracastania61104 жыл бұрын
    • michelle Scarf lovely x

      @chiaracastania6110@chiaracastania61104 жыл бұрын
    • monthly rituals to moon candle

      @61757@617573 жыл бұрын
  • Just went and changed out of my track pants and put on the funky trousers that have been unworn in the cupboard for the last 18 months. Feel better already. Great talk! Thanks!

    @larneyful@larneyful4 жыл бұрын
    • Awesome for you :)

      @m4ri5a8@m4ri5a84 жыл бұрын
    • larneyful wow this is awesome

      @fabqatv5824@fabqatv58244 жыл бұрын
  • This video made me laugh and cry at the same time; laugh because Gillian is so articulate in telling her story and cry, because it's the story of my life. I have saved things my whole life for my one day house, my one day partner, my one day garden, my one day child, my one day holiday, my one day dinner party, my one day wedding and now after 25yrs of my "one day" savings in a storage unit, which have never materialised, I have decided to give it all away to charity, as that one day I hoped and dreamed of never came, however, I did learn a few lessons, highlighted even more during covid and lockdown.

    @watersprite333@watersprite3332 жыл бұрын
    • But, you can still materialize dreams with each new tomorrow.

      @deborahsauter9794@deborahsauter97942 жыл бұрын
    • May our Maker touch your heart and life and make your life more beautiful than you can imagine. May His grace be prevalent in your life - May you know it's because of HIM, not because of us. May He comfort your soul. In Jesus name amen. ❤

      @HelloDecember525@HelloDecember525 Жыл бұрын
  • I had this happen when I was in my youth. GEL GLITTER. Saved it all up and when I went to use some it was all dried up. I was devastated and thought never again!

    @rachelmrosla4048@rachelmrosla40482 жыл бұрын
  • This talk was so inspiring!! I used to be more bold and confident in my younger years, now I tend to dress in accordance with the style of the people I work with, my group of friends or guys I date because I don’t like feeling “out of place”, not realizing it is my right to look and feel good about myself and for myself exclusively.

    @anacorona2527@anacorona25274 жыл бұрын
    • Absolutely... I second you... I had been doing the same and over the years something started dying inside me... Couple months ago I gathered myself up and reinvented myself... This talk just boosted me up big time.

      @karunasharma1883@karunasharma18834 жыл бұрын
    • Absolutely!

      @peachymamma732@peachymamma7324 жыл бұрын
    • Ana C wear your style! Whatever you love. That’s what makes you unique!! I’ve always wanted to be taller (I’m 4’11) I used to always wear very high heels. I hurt my back so now I wear much lower heels or even flats. And I wear my really nice lower heels whenever I want & really enjoy them. 😉

      @ginamiller6754@ginamiller67544 жыл бұрын
    • It is definitely your right to feel and look good. Don't dim your light to accommodate anyone. May you shine brightly!

      @daleallen5575@daleallen55754 жыл бұрын
    • Gina Miller Absolutely! I too, put my body under a lot of pain and pressure, or putting layers of makeup every morning. Now I feel more free and beautiful with a comfortable, yet beautiful everyday look that is sustainable and shows my true essence!

      @anacorona2527@anacorona25274 жыл бұрын
  • I am now wearing that necklace that I received as a gift for my 16th birthday that I have never worn before 🥰

    @morganscott7480@morganscott74804 жыл бұрын
  • Fabulous..can’t wait for tomorrow. i watched this late at night…changes will happen in the morning!!! Thanks a bunch

    @jeannettegodwin4268@jeannettegodwin4268 Жыл бұрын
  • Excellent talk and level of confidence. I will always remember this.."don't let your candle melt in your closet..live in the present" my new mantra for every single item I've been piling up at home

    @alinahMQuantum@alinahMQuantum Жыл бұрын
  • For me it's the fabric in my sewing stash that I never feel like I can figure out how to use - because it's too nice to cut.

    @zoeitzaify@zoeitzaify4 жыл бұрын
    • Zoe Pateman ...ya the one with the most fabric wins!

      @Jraymiami@Jraymiami4 жыл бұрын
    • Yes!!!!!

      @angeliquemaez5569@angeliquemaez55694 жыл бұрын
    • If you love looking at it uncut, there's nothing wrong with keeping it that way. IMHO.

      @catherineallen6024@catherineallen60244 жыл бұрын
    • Zoe Pateman I am so guilty of this! I try to combat it by telling my sisters that if I can’t come up with a plan for something it’s theirs to use (...the horror)

      @julesh1335@julesh13354 жыл бұрын
    • I'm an accomplished seamstress with an associates in fashion designing. Measure twice and cut once. You've got to learn to just rip into it or you'll never create what you want. Trust me, it's fun one you let go and won't understand until you do it.

      @TippyPuddles@TippyPuddles4 жыл бұрын
  • I wasn't sold on her speaking style at first, but this was such a great message, and reading through the comments has ever so slightly restored my 1:00 AM faith in humanity. Thank you for putting this into the world.

    @TheStephanieAnnFoster@TheStephanieAnnFoster4 жыл бұрын
    • Ironically this is what I am doing right now

      @miranda27895@miranda278952 жыл бұрын
    • That's exactly how I feel

      @rjcaliber3261@rjcaliber3261 Жыл бұрын
    • This is me!

      @FitOutsideTheBox@FitOutsideTheBox Жыл бұрын
    • This talk was written to be read, not spoken. Sadly, I couldn’t get past the delivery and posing despite the importance of the message

      @susanbartlett8418@susanbartlett8418 Жыл бұрын
    • @@susanbartlett8418 she was clear, concise and perfectly TEDX delivered.

      @dnmagcon@dnmagcon Жыл бұрын
  • Minimalism helps greatly, it slowly becomes joy when you own the things you need, love and feel cosy in. A form of using your energy wisely.

    @ladymarycrawley6613@ladymarycrawley6613 Жыл бұрын
  • I've enjoyed reading the comments more than the catalyst (no disrespect to the speaker). It's a great anecdotal message to me as I literally cleared out my whole wardrobe using the pandemic quarantine time to revamp the way I dress since becoming disabled. I sometimes think " why did you buy that if you've got nowhere to go,?" But now, look good, feel good has become my new mantra and I refuse to "not light my candle" and will let it shine brightly no matter how many stares I get 😊

    @acertree1980@acertree19802 жыл бұрын
  • This is the most life-changing 15 minutes of my life. Like wow, "Life gives you a present and the present is Today" time to unwrap my present 🎁 ✨

    @jeszlyn16@jeszlyn164 жыл бұрын
  • I saw this in someone else’s life at a garage sale. There were nicely hand-embroidered linens. Clearly, someone had put them away for something special, only to never use them. They ended up being sold at a garage sale. If they had been mine, the truth is that I probably would have done the exact same thing, because they were “too nice to use for everyday.” So I used them and enjoyed them. This video makes sense. I plan to try do the same with my “nice” things.

    @kristenhernandez6243@kristenhernandez62434 жыл бұрын
  • A fire was threatening where I lived in CA a couple years ago. My sister in law said - don't worry about packing clothes - just take the full laundry basket since that is what you actually wear. So true - instead of cleaning out my closet - I need to Gillian Dunn wear it!

    @debi4229@debi42292 жыл бұрын
  • This kind of mentality is especially present in the post-Soviet areas, where our grandparents and parents had to go through war hunger and then absence of normal things and no capitalistic variety without the ability to buy even the existed things. This beautiful china sets in a cupboard in every house were the greatest metaphors of this absence of love to yourself and constant fear of tomorrow. It's very hard to nurture it inside yourself even now once you learnt that in childhood. But such small steps are really a good remedy for growing dignity and cherishing the present moment.

    @cybersn9zhka@cybersn9zhka2 жыл бұрын
  • "When you put excuses on hold, the other side of that is joy" My 2020 mantra

    @LifeWithLeigh@LifeWithLeigh4 жыл бұрын
  • Thank you, Gillian Dunn, for reminding me of what a man said, who was born in 1923. "Yesterday is a cancelled check. Today is cash on the line. Tomorrow is a promissory note. Hank Stram That's why right now is so important. It's all we really have. Yet, we forget, and need this brilliant lady to remind us.

    @auberjean6873@auberjean68734 жыл бұрын
    • Looks like a lot of people keep promissory notes in their wardrobe. Who knew?

      @waynestaats9072@waynestaats90724 жыл бұрын
  • This talk was much deeper and more significant than the title would lead one to expect.

    @rosenajia2384@rosenajia2384 Жыл бұрын
  • It’s absolutely true you shop for what you don’t have. I didn’t grow up here. I grew up very poor. I am well off financially but I derive a used car, fully own my house, be debt. I wear every thing I buy the same day maximum the same week. I might not wear my expensive stuff for an event but I do at home with full make up and nice hair do, just for me and my husband. I can come home and I didn’t eat all day, and I will eat a peanut butter sandwich and it feels great. Most of my nights I pull the cover and I thank Got for what I have. I don’t have a single item with the tag on. Everything that I don’t wear I give away old or new. I don’t pass on life because it’s gift from Got, I don’t buy what I miss in my life. I find what I miss in my life by sharing what I have.

    @user-yy6uw2kf4i@user-yy6uw2kf4i2 жыл бұрын
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