Yesterday marks two months since I brought my little Cavapoo puppy home, I am 60 years old and doing it all on my own, the first few weeks were really hard, I cried a lot and really regretted my decision to get her, I watched a lot of videos about puppy blues and they made me feel a little bit better but it always seemed like the people got over it in just a few weeks, well to be completely honest I am only just now starting to feel very happy with my decision to get her, I think that her being about 90% potty trained plays a big part in that, having to watch her like a hawk in the beginning was exhausting, I still look around my house that is a big puppy mess right now and just remind myself that it is just temporary and that one day I will probably wish that I could have one more day like this with her. Don’t feel bad if it takes a little longer than you think that it should to get over the blues, that can make it even more stressful, just give it as much time as it takes and know that it does get a lot better!
@kellycollins34279 ай бұрын
Same same... I'm also 60, haven't had a puppy in 20 years, and never did it alone before. I was well prepared for challenges but the thing I didn't anticipate is the EXHAUSTION. I think 20 years older doubles the energy challenge, and so does not having a partner... so it's about 4x harder! I haven't regretted getting her, but being so tired makes everything much harder. Thanks for your post!
@lyndagabriel65398 ай бұрын
I am in my 40’sand raising a new puppy alone. I knew about the puppy blues ahead of time, but I still experienced the anxious, sleepless overwhelm and panicked feeling. I have anxiety, and I found the hyper vigilance you need to have when you get a new puppy was a bit triggering for my anxiety and I too found myself spiralling a bit and feeling out of my depth. Each day gets better, but I wish I had other people around and I too was feeling tired. I was wondering how you are feeling about your dog now and how are you coping all these months later? I love having animals in my life and I wonder how I will cope when I am at a different life stages and different age points, because this is quite an intense experience.
@mt1745Ай бұрын
I am in the midst of going through the puppy blues right now and can relate to everything you are talking about. to make matters worse, i'm doing this all alone and work full time. it's just a lot
@ilovepickles495Күн бұрын
This video is so precious! Thank you
@annafabian8552 күн бұрын
This was so helpful,Thank you it’s me and Sophie she’s 4 1/2 months our 4th day together so you can imagine what I’m going through,but she really is a lot of fun she already knows her name now we’re potting training😃🐾
@fortunateadventures36648 күн бұрын
Oh this was really helpful. We collect our puppy in a few weeks. I know it will be hard work, and I’m a bit nervous, it’s such a responsibility. Thanks for being realistic and honest.
@CherylsCreativeWorld337 күн бұрын
I've never heard anyone explain first time puppy parenting so well!! I got my first puppy in 2001 and I had these same feelings that your describing...fast forward to May of 2023, my husband and I got a havapoo and it had been a long time since I had a puppy. We already had a fur kid that is 10 years old and our routine was very consistent, and with our 10 year old everything has been easy. And just like you have said having an adult dog, you cannot and should not expect a puppy to be anywhere as calm and easy as a puppy. However, just to let everyone know that whatever anxious, regretful feelings you have right now, they will pass, it is temporary. This time around with our puppy I haven't had the blues, however, it has been something different to get used to, but I'm in my 50's now and you just don't stress as much at this point in your life as you might when your younger. Just remember, stay calm, stay peaceful, pray about it, and it will pass...I promise.
@tht89169 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for this video, I’m going through this right now. I love my puppy, but I’m struggling with feelings of isolation and struggling and anxiety and needing sleep and this made me feel so much less guilty and alone❤
@cairomoon9457 ай бұрын
Ok I’m bawling as I watch this. 😅 Thank you so much for this!!! This timing is impeccable. I’m with my 3 month old goldendoodle who literally peed 4 times within the last 10 minutes and lost my mind. I will definitely come back to this video again and again, so thank you!! ❤
@JohnsonAllie8 ай бұрын
Wish I could hug you! It really does get so much better ❤️
@backtobreeality8 ай бұрын
Honest opinions are the best! Thank you for sharing your experience :)
@txusytxus37423 ай бұрын
i love when you post!!! Always appreciate your content
@mikaylapoon75409 ай бұрын
Giving it a year, and taking it a day by day is good advice.
@ericaaubie8602 ай бұрын
Wonderful information! Thank you, very helpful!
@annamarsh5 ай бұрын
Hubby and i are just entering 70s, retired, and pup is almost 6 months old. I highly congratulate you at your age and stage for handling a new puppy. We had no clue about puppies although i grew up around dogs and lots of farm animals. Hubby only had a rabbit growing up. I so relate to your guilt feelings because I insisted on a dog. He insisted on a house dog. My advice before puppy is really really investigate all the possible problems and rewards. We would not trade her for Anything!
@s.h.7679 ай бұрын
I have a puppy for a week now and it’s been intense. The same thing: I had a dog and really wanted one and my husband never had a dog. I’m feeling overwhelmed and depressed and questioning my decision. I’m afraid that I did the wrong decision and we will have to take her back to the kennel. I don’t know when this will get any better. It’s a full time job to take care of her and I feel this is the only thing we talk about now. It’s really hard. Thanks for reading this with compassion and not judging.
@IsagraceloveКүн бұрын
That sounds like a really normal first week of having a puppy. The questioning yourself, the talking about the dog full time, the loss of freedom - all SO normal feelings, even for the first few months! You’re still finding your new normal and your puppy hasn’t grown up or adjusted yet. I felt just like you the first few months and now, 2 years later, my husband dotes on our puppy even more than I do and she is a natural family member who lives seamlessly in rhythm with us. That hard work you’re doing right now pays off. Time works wonders!
@backtobreeality21 сағат бұрын
You are so no rest and realistic. Thank you for this post.
@brendadusterhoft61179 ай бұрын
Thank you ♥
@xxxnoxxxnamexxx7 ай бұрын
Wow, thank you for the video. Never heard of the puppy blues.
@sj90668 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for this video. It’s been a struggle and your insight helped us not feel hopeless.
@peggymcdowell4498Ай бұрын
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us ! That’s really helpful to know that we are not alone in this situation ! Thank you for your advices ! I can’t stop crying since we brought our puppy home and I feel less guilty and less anxious because of you thanks ! 🙏
@karlvaopa38714 ай бұрын
I’m getting a miniature schnauzer in November and I’m so glad I found your channel beforehand! I’m sure I will find helpful information here. Thank you for sharing your story!
@meagan_g7 ай бұрын
your channel has been such a big reason to calm some new puppy nerves, i get my havanese pup tomorrow and im super excited but very nervous. it’s so great to have your channel out here :’)
@priscillamoradel53279 ай бұрын
Good luck! You’ll never have a moments peace
@sharonb34298 ай бұрын
@@sharonb3429 🥲he’s been such a good puppy so far but im so anxious all the time worrying for him
@priscillamoradel53278 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing this experience…i so wish i had seen this video before i got mine.
@mercedesozuna71243 ай бұрын
Thank you for this. Getting our little dude on Friday and all of these thoughts have crossed my mind and I know it’s going to be hard and I’ll have to work through my impatience! But I love having a doggo. So I know it’ll all be worth it down the road.
@smittenkitten449 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing. I've never had a dog. If I ever do have a dog, I'll be more prepared because of your video.
@TimeTravelReads3 ай бұрын
❤
@crearoosje8 ай бұрын
You have no idea how much this has helped me, I’m week four into having a puppy and I live alone, I have no one to share the load with and it’s killing me, I know it’ll be worth it in the end but I’ve never felt this way. But this helped me so much, I’m currently doing exactly what you said, put her in her pen with food water puppy pads and toys and I’ve come upstairs for some alone time I thought she would have been screaming but a few whimpers and now she’s fine I can’t relax I’m watching her on the camera but at least I know I can do this now! Thank you so much you’ve no idea
@Moonmoose.Ай бұрын
This makes me so happy! Especially when you don’t have a helper, taking some time for yourself to recharge while your puppy is safely practicing some independence is awesome. I know it’s hard. You’re doing great!
@backtobreealityАй бұрын
I never considered puppy blues as a thing until now. I'm considering a Havachon pup and glad I found this message to mentally prepare myself. Being open to possibilities and lack of sleep is what I'm planning on, but anything can happen. Thanks for sharing your experiences!
@scottdorsey82206 ай бұрын
I went EXACTLY through the same thoughts!!!❤ thank you for this video. Nearly gave the dog away after the first three weeks. Now I could not be happier and we are a real packie 🥰
@theglittercorner8 ай бұрын
I have severe depression already and anxiety which is now so much worse. It’s improving a little bit. I have no help. I’m alone.
@Kat-pm7nl5 ай бұрын
Hello my Dear, has it improved? I'm going through the same with my little rescue dog.😥
@thebachifamily4 ай бұрын
Im with you right now. Its tough!
@drlehman732 ай бұрын
Wow you’ve nailed this experience on the head!!! Thank you for sharing. “A problem shared is a problem halved”. Not I don’t feel so horrible about my experience!
@atinivyear76173 ай бұрын
This was a great video! I had this feeling about 2 weeks with my little boy Silver. I say 2 weeks because I had to keep looking to the future and knowing it was going to be fine. I say that because I had puppy blues years ago when my husband and I got dogs each one we returned. I felt like a horrible person and only lasted a week to month with most of them. I did ALOT of research on the breed as well as dogs in general before I got my boy havanese who is a 1 yr and 4 months now. I refused to let the puppy stage get to me and enjoyed every moment. Some moments were tough and my husband like yours would help me out! Neither me nor my husband had dogs growing up so it was a learning curve for us both. When we decided to get a girl dog 4 months after getting my boy ( a havapoo sky, which havanese poodle mix is amazing, gem lol) interestingly I had puppy blues for a month wondering "Did I bite off more then I could chew"? But they got along and feel like brothers and sisters and I got out of the blues when I realized because I got them so close in age basically I only had to deal with the puppy stage once with them being babies together. Now my boy is 1 yr and 4 months and she is exactly 1 yr this month! The great memories you make outweigh the hard moments. I LOVED THIS VIDEO, THANK YOU!
@4everilldance9 ай бұрын
OM G! I thought I was the only person who felt this way about my puppy Nova-Bella when I first brought her home! I LOVE animals! Dogs, cats, birds, horses, etc!! So…I thought I was a failure in not being able to take proper care of her and her needs. I was alone, so raising her by myself became more “work” than play at first….yet I LOVE her. and I wanted her to LOVE me. Your experiences have helped validate my feelings, questions, fears, (am I doing this right?) and you offer suggestions that have helped me so much in training and anxiety issues, that I thought I was suddenly not equipped to handle. I have had dogs my whole life….yet my little Havapoo was suddenly the most challenging puppy I ever remember having, Probably because it is her nature to WANT to be with me all the time. Learning how to train her to be more independent of me (without both she and I feeling bad), has helped so much! I hope you will continue to share your experiences and “trials and errors” with us…so we too can learn how to raise a happy, independent yet loving puppy/dog that will have the best life they can have with us. THANK YOU SO MUCH! I look forward to watching more and more of your videos! -Val
@eagle97622 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for this honest video. I have been going through the same thing myself. First time dog owner never mind puppy! It’s so refreshing to see these videos and realise that it is completely normal to feel this way. Sick to death of watching romanticised first week puppy videos where everything is seemingly perfect 😏 this video will help so many! ❤
@judehamilton73809 ай бұрын
Yeeees, I had the same! I thought: am I the only one who is not in bliss with her puppy??? Everyone else is just having a blast and I fin every day so difficult and exhausting 😢. Luckily I had some very honest friends who told me about their first months with their puppies. That helped tremendously ❤
@theglittercorner8 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for these videos! Your whole channel is so wonderful! We just brought our Havanese puppy home a week ago and we’re going through major blizzard conditions and I feel the puppy blues starting because everything is overwhelming. I adore our puppy so much and am so anxious about everything being perfect and I worry that every little thing is going to end up being a permanent trauma (going outside is cold and icy and snowy! The kids are loud and restless! Etc.) Anyway, thank you so much for your videos!
@kbrennan76123 ай бұрын
Thank you so much! I don’t know the climate you’re in, but hopefully the blizzard winds down soon and there will be plenty of time left for positive associations with outside time! These are all things that your puppy will adjust to - they really are adaptable.
@backtobreeality3 ай бұрын
You're very gracious toward parents and PPD at the beginning of this video, and it's true that bringing a puppy home isn't the same as bringing a baby home, BUT as someone who experienced PPD, I wanted to reassure you that what you described is very similar to new parenthood on an emotional level. I could have written your journal entry in my early days of parenthood almost word for word, just about my daughter instead of Pistachio. In fact, every single part of this video was very familiar. Even the part where you spoke about training is similar to when my daughter started to be able to speak and we could understand each other. It seems like the common parenthood phrase "the days are long but the years are short" applies to puppies, too. ❤️
@kunibob22 ай бұрын
Thanks for saying 4 months of blues! I'm on day 20 and my normal reaction is always, "why is it taking me so long to adjust to this situation?! I remember last time I raised a puppy, 20 years younger and with help I don't have now, saying to my husband at one point when he said he was inviting people over, "what part of 'I'm having a nervous breakdown' don't you understand!?" Hahaha.... that was likely months into it...
@lyndagabriel65398 ай бұрын
Wish I found your video earlier. Regrettably, I rehomed my puppy as the puppy blues hit me hard. The consolation is that I know I rehomed him to a loving family. Hope to have a puppy again in the future and will be more prepared for it. Thanks for your video.
@Qannik7 ай бұрын
I would recommend getting a dog up for rehoming thats past 2 yrs! You can def help separation anxiety of they get it
@k03ryu74 ай бұрын
I'm loving your videos I get my little girl havanese tomorrow xmas eve she is 8 weeks .I'm so excited and nervous we have a 13 yr old maltipoo and she is our most concern lol Daisy is our new puppies name and I'm sure we will all be fine ..pray for us lol
@dawnpayne42274 ай бұрын
Poodles are very much like small children. Separation anxiety can be big for them even after adulthood. Goes for the hybrids as well. I’ve raised many pups and my Maltipoos were more of a challenge. It was tough in the beginning you need time to bond with her and they respond well to consistency training is a must I’m glad you found your rhythm with her.
@pmscalisi6 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for this!!! I’m currently experiencing puppy blues w my second dog and I know it will get better with time and lots of patience. You give me hope. ❤
@rebeccamasangkay2836Ай бұрын
It takes time but it certainly is worth it! 🩷
@backtobreealityАй бұрын
I been waiting
@sairalisageorge41609 ай бұрын
Thanks! Three weeks into my puppy and OMG I'm a mess! Appreciate your comments. Finger's crossed.
@hilukasz-20233 ай бұрын
Cryingggg! This is me right now with my puppy. I thought it was just me. I feel like a bad person not being able to handle my pup. I can’t eat, I keep throwing up. It’s been pretty bad. Thank you so much for this video. I have hope♥️🙏🏻
@sonyamartinez30427 ай бұрын
How are you feeling now? Did you come out of it? I'm having puppy blues and wondering if it gets better
@SarahJohnson-sn3ug6 ай бұрын
@@SarahJohnson-sn3ugIt totally gets better! I feel so much better now. I’ve had him for 4 weeks now. I still get stressed from time to time because it’s hard to take care of a puppy but my blues is gone I’m able to eat again etc. 😊
@sonyamartinez30426 ай бұрын
phew really good video! im having massive puppy blues! i have 8 week old shiba baby to looks after. really nice to know that im not alone!
@derp7476Ай бұрын
Thank you for this honest snapshot. Ive been debating for months if I should get a puppy, studied all different small breeds. I have an 8 year old chi mix male who is a dream. I had a Springer Spaniel female who was his companion for 7 years ( and was a big problem) but she died 6 months ago. So I thought to get my boy another companion. I dont want to do the whole puppy thing again, Im 65, alone, have depression and I dont really have the patience. But I was considering it. And almost got a 4 month chihuahua or a 5 month Cavalier king charles spaniel... Your video here has convinced me, NO PUPPY. I’ll to be patient and wait for the right older dog from a shelter.
@wbl56493 ай бұрын
I'm going to be getting a havanese puppy soon. He'll be 8 weeks old.
@carla_shipp68 ай бұрын
Thank you for your video! As I feared before getting my Havanese, even if I knew what I was going into, I totally recognize myself in your experience, and it's only been two days since I had her... I knew she wouldn't be as I dreamed of, but I did not realize how violent the arrival of a puppy in your life can be. My first puppy was so easy to educate and live with from the beginning that I didn't realize that it could be otherwise...! I live in a flat and even if since yesterday I've been working on separation anxiety, Ulla still barks like Satan after a few minutes alone while all the neighboors can hear hear and I will have to go back to work in 3 days... Disapearing for more than 20minutes ! I feel terrible, useless, alone and anxious that I can't manage and bond with this dog with so much more qualities. Damn, I already saw your video before having Ulla, but now I'm rewatching it hoping my experience will get easier and better like yours did. It makes me feel a bit understood and gives some hope.
@bryorbrie38535 ай бұрын
Give it a year, I say!! Those first days/weeks/months can be so challenging, and do not represent your whole future with your dog. And in the interim, if you have anyone you trust who can watch your puppy for a bit so you get a break, reach out to them! You’ve got this, the worst parts will pass.
@backtobreeality5 ай бұрын
What a wonderful video this is! My puppy arrived a week and a bit ago and while my boyfriend has adjusted just fine I’ve been in meltdown mode. Your video has helped immensely more than the other articles and videos I’ve come across which, while validating, primarily focusing on the time cure: just get through it. Your advice was much more practical and I really appreciated the emphasis on doing whatever needs to be done for your mental health and quality of life. My other half has been so helpful in trying to lighten my load, particularly in the night and early morning when my anxiety peaks. I felt keenly guilty accepting his offers of help until you reiterated that it is perfectly okay and necessary to ask for help-I have a desperately horrid resistance to asking for help. And I never thought I’d be the sort to do such a thing, but I’ve purchased a puppy stroller (arrived tomorrow)! We live in a city so taking an unvaccinated pup onto the pavement is about as high risk as it gets and he’s a bit too big to put in a bag. I’m looking forward to having the stroller for walks to the vet and around the neighborhood so we can all get some fresh air to clear away the cobwebs. I selected one with a removable carrier to use as a car seat until he can be trusted to keep still. Ours is a 10-week old half Bernese Mountain Dog, half Cavalier King Charles Spaniel-very goofy, very cute, and very mouthy! Enforced naps are a must as his self-regulation is nonexistent, but we’re fortunate he’s a good sleeper once he is out! He’s doing better not biting our hands, though now to work on chewing where he ought not to: carpets, furniture, clothes!
@remyshirley5 ай бұрын
Thank you so much - it makes me so happy to know this helped you. Definitely let your partner help you - help from a support system is so so essential in any big life transition! You’re doing great and this is a normal struggle to have.
@backtobreeality5 ай бұрын
It’s a reason why some choose to adopt an older dog
@beverleycumming18762 ай бұрын
Omg thank you for posting this!! This is so relatable. Our 10 month old Havanese has definitely given my wife and I the puppy blues. We love him so much but he stresses us out completely. We have a 10 year old senior doggo who is so easy and had an unrealistic expectation for a puppy. How do you handle all their energy? How did you teach her recall? Sometimes he ignores us…
@jaredbotelho8678 ай бұрын
10 months is still a puppy in my book! But things really do get better each month. I feel like even the difference between 10 months and 12 months was huge with Pistachio. For all that energy, try to set some basic energy-exerting goals for the day so you can feel like you’ve met their needs but also stuck to some boundaries for your own mental health. Maybe a couple puzzle toys throughout the day (a frozen kong can work their brains for a good long while), and 2 good playtimes or walks - something that leaves them panting heavily. Look into a flirt pole - perfect for intense play without much intensity on your own energy. I had to create play goals like that both for her own expectations (when do we play/when do we relax) and also for mine! It helped a lot.
@backtobreeality8 ай бұрын
Well honey don’t stress .. wait till you have children hahahha this is a great start of you and I learning ! I just got a puppy and a one year old to look after .. it’s all about control our selves to stay strong and calm . Pups and kids needs that from us the most more then any thing .. strong and calm and understanding. Done ✔️ you can do it
@heididay63648 ай бұрын
Im 15 year old and my mom wasnt allowed me to get a puppy, but i convinced her and told her I'll be the one who responsible to clean her poo, and she finally agreeed, once i bring the puppy home my mom was like so happy and kept playing with the puppy lol 😭😂 But the first week Is so tough cuz the puppy slept with me and literally kept bitingg my hand cuz he wanted play with me but its in the midnight... And like im so tired... And also he would pee on my bed... The first week i literally cried and regret my decision, and questioning myself do i really want a puppy... I was expecting a nice loving puppy but it turn out to be annoying puppy who kept biting my hand and pee on my bed... So i kinda regret it ngl, but at the same time im scared to tell my mom that cuz im pretty sure she would be hella mad cuz i wasnt listening to her before i got the puppy... But anyway i didnt tell my mom that i regret it, and now its been a month since ive adopt the puppy, and im glad that everything does get better
@anonymousstranger16793 сағат бұрын
I had this and still sometimes do are puppy is 7 months now
@kimhoffman10715 ай бұрын
how long did it take for your pup o be fully potty trained?
@DisneyAbigail9 ай бұрын
About 10 months to be “100%”. By 6 months we were having the occasional accidents, but she those became once a week, to once a month, to fully gone.
@backtobreeality9 ай бұрын
Hello @backtobreality Love your channel, just started watching it. We are a family of four, have a wife and to girls 8 and 5 years old. We have never had a dog, but are planning on getting one. But after seeing this video and watching alot of videos on getting a puppy i get a bit afraid. Me and my wife are teachers and can not work from home like you do. Can we have a puppy? My oldest daughter are back from school 13:00, so the puppy will be alone from 08:00 - 13:00, five hours. Will this work? Should we get a cat sand box for the pup to use when we are at work?
@andreasjohnsen82367 ай бұрын
Thanks so much. 5 hours alone will be just fine! I have a video on separation anxiety that I’d recommend you watch for some tips on how to make those 5 hours less stressful for your pup. It sounds doable to me :)
@backtobreeality7 ай бұрын
@@backtobreeality thank u so much 😊 The dog breeder is going to call any minute and we are so excited! And as I said, a bit afraid 😅❤️
@andreasjohnsen82367 ай бұрын
My big depression is the potty traning…is being hard, i hope she become a dream dog
@mytube13338 ай бұрын
It is hard, but don’t give up! They do figure it out eventually!
@backtobreeality8 ай бұрын
@@backtobreealitythank you so much, best whishes for us ❤️
@mytube13338 ай бұрын
Hi, is your puppy fully potty trained now? It is so hard for me with my 5-month old baby Havanese
@AdaJess5 ай бұрын
how did you crate train her? did she still keep up with the crate training after her 1st year of being with you guys?
@syrilvelasco34197 ай бұрын
We rewarded her every time she went into the crate on her own or we put her in there ourselves. We also left treats in there for her to discover as a special surprise, and gave all high reward things to her (like her daily dentastix) inside the crate. It's all about making the crate the coolest most amazing place to be for the pup! She is still crate trained today and goes into her crate on her own every night for sleep. She also goes there on her own when she's feeling scared or sick. It's her safe place :)
@backtobreeality6 ай бұрын
How often did you put her down for naps?
@selahsstorytales99573 ай бұрын
It was probably 3 naps a day, about 2-3 hours each in the early puppyhood stage. Her last nap was usually shorter.
@backtobreeality3 ай бұрын
I iterally told myself yesterday that i'm not a dog person....
Yesterday marks two months since I brought my little Cavapoo puppy home, I am 60 years old and doing it all on my own, the first few weeks were really hard, I cried a lot and really regretted my decision to get her, I watched a lot of videos about puppy blues and they made me feel a little bit better but it always seemed like the people got over it in just a few weeks, well to be completely honest I am only just now starting to feel very happy with my decision to get her, I think that her being about 90% potty trained plays a big part in that, having to watch her like a hawk in the beginning was exhausting, I still look around my house that is a big puppy mess right now and just remind myself that it is just temporary and that one day I will probably wish that I could have one more day like this with her. Don’t feel bad if it takes a little longer than you think that it should to get over the blues, that can make it even more stressful, just give it as much time as it takes and know that it does get a lot better!
Same same... I'm also 60, haven't had a puppy in 20 years, and never did it alone before. I was well prepared for challenges but the thing I didn't anticipate is the EXHAUSTION. I think 20 years older doubles the energy challenge, and so does not having a partner... so it's about 4x harder! I haven't regretted getting her, but being so tired makes everything much harder. Thanks for your post!
I am in my 40’sand raising a new puppy alone. I knew about the puppy blues ahead of time, but I still experienced the anxious, sleepless overwhelm and panicked feeling. I have anxiety, and I found the hyper vigilance you need to have when you get a new puppy was a bit triggering for my anxiety and I too found myself spiralling a bit and feeling out of my depth. Each day gets better, but I wish I had other people around and I too was feeling tired. I was wondering how you are feeling about your dog now and how are you coping all these months later? I love having animals in my life and I wonder how I will cope when I am at a different life stages and different age points, because this is quite an intense experience.
I am in the midst of going through the puppy blues right now and can relate to everything you are talking about. to make matters worse, i'm doing this all alone and work full time. it's just a lot
This video is so precious! Thank you
This was so helpful,Thank you it’s me and Sophie she’s 4 1/2 months our 4th day together so you can imagine what I’m going through,but she really is a lot of fun she already knows her name now we’re potting training😃🐾
Oh this was really helpful. We collect our puppy in a few weeks. I know it will be hard work, and I’m a bit nervous, it’s such a responsibility. Thanks for being realistic and honest.
I've never heard anyone explain first time puppy parenting so well!! I got my first puppy in 2001 and I had these same feelings that your describing...fast forward to May of 2023, my husband and I got a havapoo and it had been a long time since I had a puppy. We already had a fur kid that is 10 years old and our routine was very consistent, and with our 10 year old everything has been easy. And just like you have said having an adult dog, you cannot and should not expect a puppy to be anywhere as calm and easy as a puppy. However, just to let everyone know that whatever anxious, regretful feelings you have right now, they will pass, it is temporary. This time around with our puppy I haven't had the blues, however, it has been something different to get used to, but I'm in my 50's now and you just don't stress as much at this point in your life as you might when your younger. Just remember, stay calm, stay peaceful, pray about it, and it will pass...I promise.
Thank you so much for this video, I’m going through this right now. I love my puppy, but I’m struggling with feelings of isolation and struggling and anxiety and needing sleep and this made me feel so much less guilty and alone❤
Ok I’m bawling as I watch this. 😅 Thank you so much for this!!! This timing is impeccable. I’m with my 3 month old goldendoodle who literally peed 4 times within the last 10 minutes and lost my mind. I will definitely come back to this video again and again, so thank you!! ❤
Wish I could hug you! It really does get so much better ❤️
Honest opinions are the best! Thank you for sharing your experience :)
i love when you post!!! Always appreciate your content
Giving it a year, and taking it a day by day is good advice.
Wonderful information! Thank you, very helpful!
Hubby and i are just entering 70s, retired, and pup is almost 6 months old. I highly congratulate you at your age and stage for handling a new puppy. We had no clue about puppies although i grew up around dogs and lots of farm animals. Hubby only had a rabbit growing up. I so relate to your guilt feelings because I insisted on a dog. He insisted on a house dog. My advice before puppy is really really investigate all the possible problems and rewards. We would not trade her for Anything!
I have a puppy for a week now and it’s been intense. The same thing: I had a dog and really wanted one and my husband never had a dog. I’m feeling overwhelmed and depressed and questioning my decision. I’m afraid that I did the wrong decision and we will have to take her back to the kennel. I don’t know when this will get any better. It’s a full time job to take care of her and I feel this is the only thing we talk about now. It’s really hard. Thanks for reading this with compassion and not judging.
That sounds like a really normal first week of having a puppy. The questioning yourself, the talking about the dog full time, the loss of freedom - all SO normal feelings, even for the first few months! You’re still finding your new normal and your puppy hasn’t grown up or adjusted yet. I felt just like you the first few months and now, 2 years later, my husband dotes on our puppy even more than I do and she is a natural family member who lives seamlessly in rhythm with us. That hard work you’re doing right now pays off. Time works wonders!
You are so no rest and realistic. Thank you for this post.
Thank you ♥
Wow, thank you for the video. Never heard of the puppy blues.
Thank you so much for this video. It’s been a struggle and your insight helped us not feel hopeless.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us ! That’s really helpful to know that we are not alone in this situation ! Thank you for your advices ! I can’t stop crying since we brought our puppy home and I feel less guilty and less anxious because of you thanks ! 🙏
I’m getting a miniature schnauzer in November and I’m so glad I found your channel beforehand! I’m sure I will find helpful information here. Thank you for sharing your story!
your channel has been such a big reason to calm some new puppy nerves, i get my havanese pup tomorrow and im super excited but very nervous. it’s so great to have your channel out here :’)
Good luck! You’ll never have a moments peace
@@sharonb3429 🥲he’s been such a good puppy so far but im so anxious all the time worrying for him
Thank you for sharing this experience…i so wish i had seen this video before i got mine.
Thank you for this. Getting our little dude on Friday and all of these thoughts have crossed my mind and I know it’s going to be hard and I’ll have to work through my impatience! But I love having a doggo. So I know it’ll all be worth it down the road.
Thank you for sharing. I've never had a dog. If I ever do have a dog, I'll be more prepared because of your video.
❤
You have no idea how much this has helped me, I’m week four into having a puppy and I live alone, I have no one to share the load with and it’s killing me, I know it’ll be worth it in the end but I’ve never felt this way. But this helped me so much, I’m currently doing exactly what you said, put her in her pen with food water puppy pads and toys and I’ve come upstairs for some alone time I thought she would have been screaming but a few whimpers and now she’s fine I can’t relax I’m watching her on the camera but at least I know I can do this now! Thank you so much you’ve no idea
This makes me so happy! Especially when you don’t have a helper, taking some time for yourself to recharge while your puppy is safely practicing some independence is awesome. I know it’s hard. You’re doing great!
I never considered puppy blues as a thing until now. I'm considering a Havachon pup and glad I found this message to mentally prepare myself. Being open to possibilities and lack of sleep is what I'm planning on, but anything can happen. Thanks for sharing your experiences!
I went EXACTLY through the same thoughts!!!❤ thank you for this video. Nearly gave the dog away after the first three weeks. Now I could not be happier and we are a real packie 🥰
I have severe depression already and anxiety which is now so much worse. It’s improving a little bit. I have no help. I’m alone.
Hello my Dear, has it improved? I'm going through the same with my little rescue dog.😥
Im with you right now. Its tough!
Wow you’ve nailed this experience on the head!!! Thank you for sharing. “A problem shared is a problem halved”. Not I don’t feel so horrible about my experience!
This was a great video! I had this feeling about 2 weeks with my little boy Silver. I say 2 weeks because I had to keep looking to the future and knowing it was going to be fine. I say that because I had puppy blues years ago when my husband and I got dogs each one we returned. I felt like a horrible person and only lasted a week to month with most of them. I did ALOT of research on the breed as well as dogs in general before I got my boy havanese who is a 1 yr and 4 months now. I refused to let the puppy stage get to me and enjoyed every moment. Some moments were tough and my husband like yours would help me out! Neither me nor my husband had dogs growing up so it was a learning curve for us both. When we decided to get a girl dog 4 months after getting my boy ( a havapoo sky, which havanese poodle mix is amazing, gem lol) interestingly I had puppy blues for a month wondering "Did I bite off more then I could chew"? But they got along and feel like brothers and sisters and I got out of the blues when I realized because I got them so close in age basically I only had to deal with the puppy stage once with them being babies together. Now my boy is 1 yr and 4 months and she is exactly 1 yr this month! The great memories you make outweigh the hard moments. I LOVED THIS VIDEO, THANK YOU!
OM G! I thought I was the only person who felt this way about my puppy Nova-Bella when I first brought her home! I LOVE animals! Dogs, cats, birds, horses, etc!! So…I thought I was a failure in not being able to take proper care of her and her needs. I was alone, so raising her by myself became more “work” than play at first….yet I LOVE her. and I wanted her to LOVE me. Your experiences have helped validate my feelings, questions, fears, (am I doing this right?) and you offer suggestions that have helped me so much in training and anxiety issues, that I thought I was suddenly not equipped to handle. I have had dogs my whole life….yet my little Havapoo was suddenly the most challenging puppy I ever remember having, Probably because it is her nature to WANT to be with me all the time. Learning how to train her to be more independent of me (without both she and I feeling bad), has helped so much! I hope you will continue to share your experiences and “trials and errors” with us…so we too can learn how to raise a happy, independent yet loving puppy/dog that will have the best life they can have with us. THANK YOU SO MUCH! I look forward to watching more and more of your videos! -Val
Thank you so much for this honest video. I have been going through the same thing myself. First time dog owner never mind puppy! It’s so refreshing to see these videos and realise that it is completely normal to feel this way. Sick to death of watching romanticised first week puppy videos where everything is seemingly perfect 😏 this video will help so many! ❤
Yeeees, I had the same! I thought: am I the only one who is not in bliss with her puppy??? Everyone else is just having a blast and I fin every day so difficult and exhausting 😢. Luckily I had some very honest friends who told me about their first months with their puppies. That helped tremendously ❤
Thank you so much for these videos! Your whole channel is so wonderful! We just brought our Havanese puppy home a week ago and we’re going through major blizzard conditions and I feel the puppy blues starting because everything is overwhelming. I adore our puppy so much and am so anxious about everything being perfect and I worry that every little thing is going to end up being a permanent trauma (going outside is cold and icy and snowy! The kids are loud and restless! Etc.) Anyway, thank you so much for your videos!
Thank you so much! I don’t know the climate you’re in, but hopefully the blizzard winds down soon and there will be plenty of time left for positive associations with outside time! These are all things that your puppy will adjust to - they really are adaptable.
You're very gracious toward parents and PPD at the beginning of this video, and it's true that bringing a puppy home isn't the same as bringing a baby home, BUT as someone who experienced PPD, I wanted to reassure you that what you described is very similar to new parenthood on an emotional level. I could have written your journal entry in my early days of parenthood almost word for word, just about my daughter instead of Pistachio. In fact, every single part of this video was very familiar. Even the part where you spoke about training is similar to when my daughter started to be able to speak and we could understand each other. It seems like the common parenthood phrase "the days are long but the years are short" applies to puppies, too. ❤️
Thanks for saying 4 months of blues! I'm on day 20 and my normal reaction is always, "why is it taking me so long to adjust to this situation?! I remember last time I raised a puppy, 20 years younger and with help I don't have now, saying to my husband at one point when he said he was inviting people over, "what part of 'I'm having a nervous breakdown' don't you understand!?" Hahaha.... that was likely months into it...
Wish I found your video earlier. Regrettably, I rehomed my puppy as the puppy blues hit me hard. The consolation is that I know I rehomed him to a loving family. Hope to have a puppy again in the future and will be more prepared for it. Thanks for your video.
I would recommend getting a dog up for rehoming thats past 2 yrs! You can def help separation anxiety of they get it
I'm loving your videos I get my little girl havanese tomorrow xmas eve she is 8 weeks .I'm so excited and nervous we have a 13 yr old maltipoo and she is our most concern lol Daisy is our new puppies name and I'm sure we will all be fine ..pray for us lol
Poodles are very much like small children. Separation anxiety can be big for them even after adulthood. Goes for the hybrids as well. I’ve raised many pups and my Maltipoos were more of a challenge. It was tough in the beginning you need time to bond with her and they respond well to consistency training is a must I’m glad you found your rhythm with her.
Thank you so much for this!!! I’m currently experiencing puppy blues w my second dog and I know it will get better with time and lots of patience. You give me hope. ❤
It takes time but it certainly is worth it! 🩷
I been waiting
Thanks! Three weeks into my puppy and OMG I'm a mess! Appreciate your comments. Finger's crossed.
Cryingggg! This is me right now with my puppy. I thought it was just me. I feel like a bad person not being able to handle my pup. I can’t eat, I keep throwing up. It’s been pretty bad. Thank you so much for this video. I have hope♥️🙏🏻
How are you feeling now? Did you come out of it? I'm having puppy blues and wondering if it gets better
@@SarahJohnson-sn3ugIt totally gets better! I feel so much better now. I’ve had him for 4 weeks now. I still get stressed from time to time because it’s hard to take care of a puppy but my blues is gone I’m able to eat again etc. 😊
phew really good video! im having massive puppy blues! i have 8 week old shiba baby to looks after. really nice to know that im not alone!
Thank you for this honest snapshot. Ive been debating for months if I should get a puppy, studied all different small breeds. I have an 8 year old chi mix male who is a dream. I had a Springer Spaniel female who was his companion for 7 years ( and was a big problem) but she died 6 months ago. So I thought to get my boy another companion. I dont want to do the whole puppy thing again, Im 65, alone, have depression and I dont really have the patience. But I was considering it. And almost got a 4 month chihuahua or a 5 month Cavalier king charles spaniel... Your video here has convinced me, NO PUPPY. I’ll to be patient and wait for the right older dog from a shelter.
I'm going to be getting a havanese puppy soon. He'll be 8 weeks old.
Thank you for your video! As I feared before getting my Havanese, even if I knew what I was going into, I totally recognize myself in your experience, and it's only been two days since I had her... I knew she wouldn't be as I dreamed of, but I did not realize how violent the arrival of a puppy in your life can be. My first puppy was so easy to educate and live with from the beginning that I didn't realize that it could be otherwise...! I live in a flat and even if since yesterday I've been working on separation anxiety, Ulla still barks like Satan after a few minutes alone while all the neighboors can hear hear and I will have to go back to work in 3 days... Disapearing for more than 20minutes ! I feel terrible, useless, alone and anxious that I can't manage and bond with this dog with so much more qualities. Damn, I already saw your video before having Ulla, but now I'm rewatching it hoping my experience will get easier and better like yours did. It makes me feel a bit understood and gives some hope.
Give it a year, I say!! Those first days/weeks/months can be so challenging, and do not represent your whole future with your dog. And in the interim, if you have anyone you trust who can watch your puppy for a bit so you get a break, reach out to them! You’ve got this, the worst parts will pass.
What a wonderful video this is! My puppy arrived a week and a bit ago and while my boyfriend has adjusted just fine I’ve been in meltdown mode. Your video has helped immensely more than the other articles and videos I’ve come across which, while validating, primarily focusing on the time cure: just get through it. Your advice was much more practical and I really appreciated the emphasis on doing whatever needs to be done for your mental health and quality of life. My other half has been so helpful in trying to lighten my load, particularly in the night and early morning when my anxiety peaks. I felt keenly guilty accepting his offers of help until you reiterated that it is perfectly okay and necessary to ask for help-I have a desperately horrid resistance to asking for help. And I never thought I’d be the sort to do such a thing, but I’ve purchased a puppy stroller (arrived tomorrow)! We live in a city so taking an unvaccinated pup onto the pavement is about as high risk as it gets and he’s a bit too big to put in a bag. I’m looking forward to having the stroller for walks to the vet and around the neighborhood so we can all get some fresh air to clear away the cobwebs. I selected one with a removable carrier to use as a car seat until he can be trusted to keep still. Ours is a 10-week old half Bernese Mountain Dog, half Cavalier King Charles Spaniel-very goofy, very cute, and very mouthy! Enforced naps are a must as his self-regulation is nonexistent, but we’re fortunate he’s a good sleeper once he is out! He’s doing better not biting our hands, though now to work on chewing where he ought not to: carpets, furniture, clothes!
Thank you so much - it makes me so happy to know this helped you. Definitely let your partner help you - help from a support system is so so essential in any big life transition! You’re doing great and this is a normal struggle to have.
It’s a reason why some choose to adopt an older dog
Omg thank you for posting this!! This is so relatable. Our 10 month old Havanese has definitely given my wife and I the puppy blues. We love him so much but he stresses us out completely. We have a 10 year old senior doggo who is so easy and had an unrealistic expectation for a puppy. How do you handle all their energy? How did you teach her recall? Sometimes he ignores us…
10 months is still a puppy in my book! But things really do get better each month. I feel like even the difference between 10 months and 12 months was huge with Pistachio. For all that energy, try to set some basic energy-exerting goals for the day so you can feel like you’ve met their needs but also stuck to some boundaries for your own mental health. Maybe a couple puzzle toys throughout the day (a frozen kong can work their brains for a good long while), and 2 good playtimes or walks - something that leaves them panting heavily. Look into a flirt pole - perfect for intense play without much intensity on your own energy. I had to create play goals like that both for her own expectations (when do we play/when do we relax) and also for mine! It helped a lot.
Well honey don’t stress .. wait till you have children hahahha this is a great start of you and I learning ! I just got a puppy and a one year old to look after .. it’s all about control our selves to stay strong and calm . Pups and kids needs that from us the most more then any thing .. strong and calm and understanding. Done ✔️ you can do it
Im 15 year old and my mom wasnt allowed me to get a puppy, but i convinced her and told her I'll be the one who responsible to clean her poo, and she finally agreeed, once i bring the puppy home my mom was like so happy and kept playing with the puppy lol 😭😂 But the first week Is so tough cuz the puppy slept with me and literally kept bitingg my hand cuz he wanted play with me but its in the midnight... And like im so tired... And also he would pee on my bed... The first week i literally cried and regret my decision, and questioning myself do i really want a puppy... I was expecting a nice loving puppy but it turn out to be annoying puppy who kept biting my hand and pee on my bed... So i kinda regret it ngl, but at the same time im scared to tell my mom that cuz im pretty sure she would be hella mad cuz i wasnt listening to her before i got the puppy... But anyway i didnt tell my mom that i regret it, and now its been a month since ive adopt the puppy, and im glad that everything does get better
I had this and still sometimes do are puppy is 7 months now
how long did it take for your pup o be fully potty trained?
About 10 months to be “100%”. By 6 months we were having the occasional accidents, but she those became once a week, to once a month, to fully gone.
Hello @backtobreality Love your channel, just started watching it. We are a family of four, have a wife and to girls 8 and 5 years old. We have never had a dog, but are planning on getting one. But after seeing this video and watching alot of videos on getting a puppy i get a bit afraid. Me and my wife are teachers and can not work from home like you do. Can we have a puppy? My oldest daughter are back from school 13:00, so the puppy will be alone from 08:00 - 13:00, five hours. Will this work? Should we get a cat sand box for the pup to use when we are at work?
Thanks so much. 5 hours alone will be just fine! I have a video on separation anxiety that I’d recommend you watch for some tips on how to make those 5 hours less stressful for your pup. It sounds doable to me :)
@@backtobreeality thank u so much 😊 The dog breeder is going to call any minute and we are so excited! And as I said, a bit afraid 😅❤️
My big depression is the potty traning…is being hard, i hope she become a dream dog
It is hard, but don’t give up! They do figure it out eventually!
@@backtobreealitythank you so much, best whishes for us ❤️
Hi, is your puppy fully potty trained now? It is so hard for me with my 5-month old baby Havanese
how did you crate train her? did she still keep up with the crate training after her 1st year of being with you guys?
We rewarded her every time she went into the crate on her own or we put her in there ourselves. We also left treats in there for her to discover as a special surprise, and gave all high reward things to her (like her daily dentastix) inside the crate. It's all about making the crate the coolest most amazing place to be for the pup! She is still crate trained today and goes into her crate on her own every night for sleep. She also goes there on her own when she's feeling scared or sick. It's her safe place :)
How often did you put her down for naps?
It was probably 3 naps a day, about 2-3 hours each in the early puppyhood stage. Her last nap was usually shorter.
I iterally told myself yesterday that i'm not a dog person....