The power of seduction in our everyday lives | Chen Lizra | TEDxVancouver
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With nearly a decade of experience in the animation industry, working on projects for MTV, TVA, Alliance Atlantis, Mainframe Entertainment and Radical Entertainment, Chen Lizra's intellect, imagination and creative thinking evolved her into a branding expert.
In 2009 & 2012 Chen was nominated as one of the "YWCA Women of Distinction in Vancouver," and was recently honored by the Australian government with a Distinguished Talent Permanent Visa for her international achievements in the arts. As the international author of "My Seductive Cuba, a unique travel guide", Chen has won two awards in the US, including the prestigious IPPY Book Award. With a passion for dance and creative movement, Lizra offers students seduction workshops and focused lectures and seminars about the art of seduction in our everyday lives.
In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)
Everytime I watch a ted talk video it feels like that it's the most urgent and important issue in life to work on.
Hahahahaha
Lol
PURITY N IMPURITY BOTH ARE TRUETHS OF LIFE WHICH YOU FOLLOW IT BECOMES UR BENT OF MIND
Lol
Genuinely yaar
"Seduction isn’t making someone do what they don’t want to do. Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already."
Like giving all their money to someone?
No, that wouldn't be seduction. That would be manipulation/abuse
id vs ego. good observation
Well said , I agree
WOW 🤩 Thanks for sharing ❣️😃🙏🏽
Someone needs to give a talk on how a man can seduce without either coming off as a creep or getting charged with harassment.
Hahaha
Jason Katsanis: you gotta PAY for those.
It depends on how good looking he is and how crazy she is.
Then don't be a creep or harass anyone not that hard
@@monroejordan2299 the best way to not be a creep is to not be creep? Thank you! Gosh, why didn't I think of that? 🤦♂️
Main points : 1.Seduction is a skill that you choose what to do with it. 2.Seduction is about charm, self confidence, pride and appeal 3.Seduction's formula : - Desire (keeping the "maybe" alive is the skill of presenting potential possibilities and then fueling them with desire) - Confidence - Body language - Arousal (waken up the desire in someone and lure it out) 4.Everyone has the power to seduce but it's different in how you use it and when to do so.
good one
saved me lots of time ty
i love you
❤thank you
Thank you for saving my life. I couldn`t stand her talk beyond 5 minutes.
Three hours ago I started watching these Ted Talks about college depression. Now I’m here 😂
Austin Williamson hahaahha
Lol
Ahhahahahahhahahha me too it’s 3:07am flm
Guanine C5H5N5O that KZhead rabbit hole son
I started watching a video of cheating in college for a discussion board project and ended here. cheating, seduction, whats next!!! lol
The Take Away Note from the entire conversation: " I really believe that seduction leads to self-confidence, and self-confidence leads to success in all area of your life" - Chen Lizra
After all; she did get a Ted Talk…
Mine is that this sometimes works if you're attractive enough, otherwise you'll end up in jail soon
Thanks, you saved me 12 min. Now I can close the video and go work on my school assignments.
Exactly such powerful insights !!!!! What a load of BS the worst one I’ve ever seen but then I only Managed like 6 minutes!
Thanks for saving me 12:48 mins. 👍🏾
"A NO turns into a maybe into a yes". This did not age well. A NO means NO.
She kinda normalized harassment too
I mean, she talked about the "distinguishability" (not sure if that is a word, but okay) of the "no that means no" and the "no that means maybe". Most of the times we can understand this through body language, context and speech tone, we are humans after all, we comunicate in various complex ways. As she said, "the last thing we want is to insist on a no that means no"
No still meant No in 2013.
@@Pedro-tl8zw if you think someone means yes when they say no, and they really meant no, that’s not gonna defend you if they take you to court for harassment. 9/10 times, no will mean no. Unless they’re clearly joking, there’s no reason for you to assume otherwise
@@brandonm1708 "unless they're clearly joking" And how can you know that? Through body language, context, voice tone... we have complex systems of communication, we are biological humans that communicate our complex emotions through these systems, not a machine that needs to be programmed with the logical statements every time. it is a matter of well manners, you should notice when you are bothering or anoying someone (and we are capable of noticig it)
I can't get enough of TED talks, I try to be good and kind and I forget about myself. TED teaches me that I am more and deserve my own kindness. Thank you for helping.
I will only say two things: 1: I'm Cuban 2: she understands us perfectly
What did she mean Danny? From this speech I took that as a writer I can seduce people with words to make then want to continue reading and eventually buy the book after finishing their coffee. Is that a good example?
American women are masculine.
What happens in Cuba.....better stay in Cuba unless you're okay with jail time.
@@kizito8888 That shows how Americans are not free in the land of "free". Life is micromanaged to the extreme.
Danny Villarroel: mira. No te engañes. Una cubana mulata me dijo una vez. Nos acostamos con mas negritos que nosotros, y nos casamos con más blancos que nosotros. La seducción no está lejo del interés de cada uno. Parece lindo lo que la señora dice, pero la verdad es mucho más prosaica. Un saludo.
Seduction is all good and fun until someone unattractive is doing it to you.
lol
Looool😂😂😂😂
lol
Lol
FlezzDurjis i so swear
I see her point, but I feel like the examples she offered to some elements of claiming seduction are kind of problematic because they lack consent and look like harassment. Concerning body language, calling after random women on the street "Linda!" "Preciosa!" sounds more like a form of street harassment - cat-calling. Moreover, seduction shouldn't include going for what you want blindly, ignoring others' limits and dignity. There is nothing charming in men ignoring "no"s. There is nothing right in insisting on getting someone after they've made if clear you are not welcomed.
Did you watch the full video?
different culture
@@nicholaslandry6367 pretty sure she didnt, or didnt get it
The western way of thinking is applied here and it’s quite selfish and unfair to the example that was offered by the speaker… I’m sure calling someone Linda has a different connotation to what catcalling is
This is before the Mee Too movement.
"the youtube effect"....Start somewhere and end up watching something completely different. Thats how I landed up here
She isn't talking about tricking people or playing games. She is talking about realizing your own self confidence and beauty and bringing that to the surface. Everyone has great qualities and everyone is capable of enhancing those qualities. MORE BEES WITH HONEY :) LOVE IT!!
The best perspective in these comments by far. I love the way you think Dani! :)
🤝🤝
yeah everyone even Charles Manson i guess?! /shrug. Everyone is beautiful , love peace and freedom mindest
@@Volkskomissar Way to misunderstand the assignment.
You guys have to understand that she doesn't mean it in a sexual sense. She means it in a charming sense. Getting people to like you, and being confident in yourself. I think, as a confident charming guy, she has a terrific point. It is a very useful skill, really.
Well said!
CJWarlock you are obviously forgetting that she started the talk by grinding all over a guy.
You are obviously forgetting that she immediately went on to say that "The word seduction has been sexualized so many times that we can't even imagine it as a positive skill-set." You were obviously too busy checking her out to hear what she was saying, lol. It seems she's a little too good.
readyrepairs She actually didn't touch the guy except around his head. I agree however that she is swine upon the intelligent people and talks I come to TED for.
After seeing so many misunderstood comments, I just have to thank you for getting it. Thanks Doc!
Ok so I just watched a TED talk on "An epidemic of beauty sickness" so this is like the next end of the spectrum. What was valuable to me from this is the fact that in Cuba, there is no advertising so your self esteem and self worth isn't dictated by the media. That is very important in the self confidence aspect. I understand what she's saying and I feel like that was the teenage maybe even twenties me. I just don't feel like it's healthy in some other cultures around the world for a married couple to be this randomly seductive unless it's with each other. What do you guys think?
Very well said. "I just don't feel like it's healthy in some other cultures around the world for a married couple to be this randomly seductive unless it's with each other. What do you guys think?"
Loyalty and integrity are a thing. Seduction also has its place and it is not always the only way or the way to be used to express your confidence. Confidence comes from self acceptance and integrity comes from holding oneself accountable to the right ethics. That talk on confidence and body language is all good. Seduction is not bad as long as it is presented formally within the limits of your environment, to be balanced with the yin and yang of both people again.
Married or unmarried the power of seduction; also the power of persuasion, suggestion, etc. all align.
@@Shyamazha I don't think it's very healthy to have her vision of self confidence. If your confidence depends on your power of seduction it means it essentially comes from outside. But when you get lonely, when you loose yourself and don't get to go to many events anymore, you understand that confidence needs to come from within. What you said is so true : "confidence comes from self acceptance and integrity comes from holding oneself accountable to the right ethics". For me, as long as the seduction isn't a need for you to feel confident, it can be fun in your everyday life :)
well yea a married couple... it's good to do it on one another, someone could even make a claim that it's necessary for an exciting marriage - because the passion in marriage always fades away into something else... but if the most important point is being seductive in a way that I see myself as beautiful, as attractive, if I love the parts in me that give and recieve pleasure and intimacy, and I'm free to play and dance with these parts, then it's the same as in marriage. Is it more difficult to seduce a stranger than someone who already knows you and have a lot of history with? That's an interesting question... What if the partner doesn't respond, doesn't see you? that can be disappointing and can lead to even insecurity, anger... and here comes the art of seduction again, but it takes two to tango...
Here is a simple truth: seductiveness is related closely to attractiveness (which is subjective to the viewer). Someone can enhance their appeal to you by acting in a seductive way; but if you simply don't find the person attractive, then there is nothing they can do to change that. Ask yourself - if someone who you did not find attractive was dancing like that, would you be seduced?
As she sais this a product of advertising, maybe we would be attracted if we didn't idolize the "perfect" body?
@@rhyswollaston9146 It's a product of humans having eyes. We see someone and we know if we're attracted to them or not. The "perfect body" is in ads because it is viewed as "perfect", not the other way around.
"A no turns to a maybe turns to a yes. That's damn sexy." Instructions unclear, have to show up to court at 9.
Ha!
lmao
Hilarious haha Well played.
that's basically it. but kissing is the first step and rapist go straight for the intercourse
You were either A. a white male. B. a black male or C. an asian male. She clearly said Cuban.
I really liked this talk because I went to Cuba and all that she said it is true. You can see seduction at any time, people do not care of the body type, instead they know how to talk and they are not afraid to go for what they want.
@@Michael-bf1dt the comment was 6 years ago lol.
@@jelll4063 LMFAOOO
Decades of communism will do that to ya. I mean if you have issues with poverty and supply of almost everything, what else is left than to play games?
Great speech! That "I did get a TED talk, didn't I?" was presented in such a harmonic and sympathetic way! Awesome 😍
Summary: 1) desire 2) self-confidence and pride 3) body language 4) arisal or fearlessness of failure
"The word has been sexualised so many times." Like in the opening sequence.
dance is also to much sexualised, not all seduction (or dance for that matter) ought to lead to that direction, but possibilities are keeping tension and connection in a two way relation
Seriously. She’s offensive.
cringiest opening ever
wrr
Mihail Stoyanov lol I thought so too.lol
Haitian Girl94 what does it mean cringiest, sorry im a spanish speaker
get over yourselves hah
Mihail, were you at the physics department at Catholic University in 1984?
She is unleashing her seductive charm. That's post probably why I watched the entire video.
I am glad that I watched this video. Being an Indian classical dancer, I believe that I always had this natural seductive behaviour/body language. As I grew up, I questioned myself on why am I like this or is it too much or should I change myself? Over the years I embraced this art and kept on getting better at this, however, wasn’t sure if it was right and always named it “elegance” Thank you so much for this talk and explaining about seduction, it has given me a sense of validation and makes me feel more confident!
Me too. I suffered for it tho. I am healing tho. I will overcome this.
Shut up
can you tell me how it's helpful in day to day life
@@inainaty171 People will be drawn to talk to you and pay attention to what you want and want to get it for you. That is what seduction does. It makes people cater to you because THEY want to do that for YOU.
Before I watched this video, I checked all the comments. It gave me an idea how people perceived the message of the video. It gave me different angles so I could decide on my own if those had some truth in them. So I started this video fearing the worst, I had read some pick up artist articles and those made me very depressed about humanity. Their sole purpose was sex, lots of sex, just sex like an animal, artificial manipulative sex, wich grossed me out a lot. I can tell this video wasnt anything like that and the comments surprised me. The message of this video was, that in cuba, people are very confident. Not only confident in their sexuality, but also about their body, self image, and because of that they are not afraid to show interest or express what is in their heart. That confidence and fearlessness plays into all aspects of life. Arguably cuba is not a very succesfull country, ofcourse depending on what you label as succes, happiness is harder to label then economic numbers . But you cannot argue successful and happy people are usually confident about themselves or ability to do something. Sometimes the line between narcism and being very self confident is thin or subtle. This woman speaks rational about seduction and the aspects of it, such as an very important one, how you were raised and how it plays into your self image. The factor height for example, is an aspect wich can affect your confidence, and a research showed that managers were more then not above the average height. I can talk about some more truthful things she told, but I conclude this video is not bullshit. If you think it is I feel sorry you can't think rational because of emotions, intelligence, hypocrisy, denial, delusions and small-mindedness.
Thank you! I was going through these comments and starting to think I was the only one who didn't immediately see sex when they watched this. She even says early on that seduction isn't just about sex. I guess people want to go with the easy conclusion instead of stopping to think about what she's saying.
Well said.
Nikki Berry regarding the "easy conclusion" - and this is just a thought I just had and didn't follow too deep: maybe fear plays a role too, along with knowing to be one of the repressed people that society spills out way too often. So hating her is easier than admiting to be inhibited - even easier than to change yourself to be more open-minded. So hate her instead and maybe find someone else, who's just as thick, to join and hate together. It's a way to connect to others, too - just not as pleasing as seduction. As said, just a simple thought. On the other hand I would advise against too much sexual seduction within our culture - people aint used to it and many would certainly get it wrong, being pissed afterwards. So when going to charm someone, always make sure not to deliver the wrong message. Finally regarding myself: I'm charming to people I meet over the day; in the store, on the street, at my workplace. So much that I've ben called "someone who twists people around his finger" (translated German saying - don't know if that fits in English). But I dont "use" people and I'm very confident, that the people I met live a happier day after seeing me, because they always leave with a smile on their face that wasn't there before we met. It's not getting to something I wouldn't get otherwise. It's not exploitation. It's just being sociable and nice. There's nothing wrong in seducing someone into sharing a simple smile :-) ...and I'm happy having found D Jnsen s comment in contrast to the weird one that received 107 likes and 113 answers O_o
POWERPOP The information on
Confidence and fearlessness have nothing to do with being conceited, manipulative, and self-serving. She advises being deceptive and fake in order to manipulate others. There isn't any way to put a positive spin on that. What she's describing isn't seduction; it's faking seduction.
First she says seduction shouldn't be seen sexualized, but then ALL she talks about is sexualized seduction. This was a 12 min talk of thin air. It feels like a lot of Ted talks have become the opportunity for self-centered people to talk about their lives and play it of as if they are giving valuable life advice.
Right on the button. I felt like it was complete narcissism disguised as education. What she was really trying to do was to get us all to re affirm her own views of herself. I Have heard the same thing said a hell of a lot better by better speakers 100 times.
100%
TED talks have become like a 3-D blog.
I think y'all just missed the point lol
Then tell us what we are missing dude
Seduction with loyalty and integrity 😂 Someone give this lady the bad news already
Seduce / dance her way to becomin a pm 💄moved well though catchyyyyy
Whoa! That little bit of info on Cuban self confidence blew me away!
"Seduction basically comes down to who you are inside." Classic wordplay.
LMAOOO
I know this was supposed to be about seduction but damn she makes a really good point on communism and advertising (or lack thereof)
Not communism. Just lack of certain types of advertising possibly being a good thing.
Adverts are evil :D
Libra Cayes absolutely !!!!!! She is a Genius, a very hot sexy smart one!!!!!!
Libra Cayes maybe 😅😅
Libra Cayes eu
I am Cuban and was explaining my upbringing growing up to a friend. This is what I was talking about. Love it!
bro do u know the name of the song ?
@@RohitSharma-zj6ox se me va la musa by Osmany Garcia
I think this went in a different direction than I was expecting.
Her anthropological observation of seduction in Cuba is spot on but I don't think she should angle it into how other societies could copy it to get what they want. Different societies have different reading into it and it will cause different perception and ends.
Lilian Budianto thank you so much! You literally voiced my thoughts.
I agree, you'll get arrested and/or fired at my job.
@@mimimaddyworld6517 You'd get arrested for being charming/self confident at your job? Think you missed the point of this
@@mimimaddyworld6517 ofcourse you will if you do exactly what Cubans are doing. They seem to have evolved when it comes it character and tapping into emotions. In fact the exact opposite might happen if you do it the right way. Even people hidden in rocks like to check out the confident sun pouring in
Yeah true that
GOOD NEWS for most of us here! I'm a 50 year old, medium height, slightly pot-bellied, brown skinned, black haired, ugly faced male! (sob!!). I often hear women say about me behind my back, "yikes, what an ugly pig". But now I have hope, she said that "everybody has in them the power to seduce, you simply have to unleash it". I'm gonna start unleashing it first thing in the morning, at work, with my female boss who is half my age, blond and beautiful. Thank you so much Ms Chen Lizra. If I don't post the result on here by tomorrow, it's because it didn't work and I lost my job. And one more thing, two of my best friends are equally ugly (that's why we stick together) and I'm gonna, like a good friend, pass on your advice to them too. So far, the three of us have always believed that the world is broadly comprised of two groups of people; the ugly (like us), and the not-ugly to beautiful (like them). Just for the record, my last (and only) girlfriend dumped me because she found me very ugly and unattractive. So now you see why I'm brimming with new hope after watching this video. Jackson, Mississippi.
perikaveera, you are totally right as for seduction part. However, trust me, there's still bunch of girls that don't really care much about looks and are interested more in personality. Women are generally built to be less visual than men, and not to mention the fact that tastes vary sooooo much that what may be considered unbelievably ugly by one culture or a person, it could be considered pretty attractive to another culture or person so don't lose hope bro! Trust me there's always someone waiting for each of us :) Patience is not one of the best virtues for nothing!
well if you think your looks are really out of the norm and you suffer from that fact, then maybe you should take some actions. Go to the gym, at least you are not short, being medium height is good, you can be fit and not look like the "short guy that's trying to make up for his shortness with being muscular". Have facial surgery, a facelift, a nose job ? Maybe fix your teeth, work on your breath if it's not so fresh. you're not bald so praise the lord. The pressure to look attractive weights down so much on women, it's crippling, I know, I am a woman. It consumes your life, you have to spend hours to shave, pluck, brush, straighten, curl, anoint, hydrate, moisturized, conceal, enhance etc...etc....We lose hours every week in a pursuit of a perfection that can never be attained. It is exhausting, and mentally damaging. I have accepted that I cannot compete with other women if I do not shave or put on make up, because if I don't I look bland (no, my cheeks and lips are not naturally rosy, and my eye lashes are not naturally that dark and thick, and I actually do have dark circles, under that coat of makeup) Worse I can look "gross" if I don't shave like other women (when females become women, they grow hairs, I don't understand why society shames us for becoming adults and try to make us revert to the bodies we had when we were 10...sick sick world we live in). So, when I want to "see" a man (casually, like in finding a sex friend), I start dressing a lil bit more feminine, no more large tshirt and sneakers, I put on a nice pair of skinny jeans and some heels, and a lacey blouse. I used to date men, but not anymore, I never want to get stuck in a relationship in which a man tells me "my friends tell me you are ugly, but you are pretty when you put on make up so put on make up when we go out". I know I am not good enough as I am and I need enhancement when I go in public with my partner, but I don't really want to be good enough anymore. This is the society we live in Perikaa, you have to accept it and change because society won't change for you :/ It's hard for every body and remember, we are all struggling. Good luck to you. XXX
Rosumisorimu Thank you dear.
perikaveera You are welcome.....btw just so you know, I'm a male ahahahaha...and a straight one at that :D :D :D But what I've said stands! Many girls I know are obsessed with the sense of humor, intelligence etc, and care little to none about looks. Or the ones that do, they have rather weird taste that would be considered by many cultures and other people as "very ugly". So chin up bro! ;) I'm not the most handsome guy either, but it doesn't stop me from living my life to the fullest ;)
Me encantó esta charla! Preciosa mujer, llena de carisma e iteligencia. Orgullosa de ser Cubana. Gracias ❤🙏🏽🌹
I relapsed after 7 years of sobriety after watching this cringiest of introductions to ever hit planet earth
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Let me remind you not to watch this video
for some people, this can be a promotion for sexual harassment. but for they WHO could see the beauty within, this is really fascinating, a deep interpretation of human energy, much more than sexuality. I think this is humanity, and the good news is we can use it for everyday lives.
I genuinely think people who express their desires probably have more control over them than countries which attempt to shape and mold their instincts (America)
If that how you understood it. I understood it as an attitude.
She does preface with it can be used for good or for bad
Harassment is not respectful , it says I want you whether you want me or not. But being charming is like an invitation, it says I like who you are and my door is open to you if you change your mind. There is a huge difference
so this woman wrote 1 book and now gives a TED Talk? they need quality control on TED Talks, even if it means less revenue, or else people will stop caring about TED talks.
LOL. Says the shirtless guy with no head. How many books have you written?
Jess Gee bio2020 is just saying (if you can't understand plain English) that she shouldn't be on TED after only one book! What has him writing a book to do with this valid opinion? That's a bit of a snarky, facetious comment you made there. It doesn't change the appropriateness of what he said. Have another try! Was that the best you could do?
So writing books is the access way to TED Talk...? I don't think so!
Jess Gee super funny and cynical of you but the guy has a point …
That's one of seduction she had that succeed. So shut up.
It seems fairly clear to me that if the goal is authentic and open engagement in life, seduction is neither necessary nor sufficient. To practice it as a means to open doors or gain power can be an introduction to meaningful interaction, but seduction cannot be that in and of itself. To use any form of power and avoid its inherent corrupting influence requires a discipline that most lack. Otherwise, the ability to push that button can come to own the button pusher.
Apart from the discipline people also lack the ability to attract rather than be desperate
I had a blur idea of what Chen is saying but today only I understood the real meaning of word 'Seduction' in +ve sense in life. Indeed, she is abs right. She has clearly made me understand , what I was missing in life. Thanks Chen, hats off to you !
I'm still waiting to hear how seducing my coworkers with a rumba in the break room will help my career. Poorly titled.
Lmbo! Without getting arrested and fired.
🤡🤡🤡
I think she went right over your head. She’s talking about something that is very natural, beautiful and powerful, something as ancient as humanity itself, and you’ve reduced it to some ridiculous corporate thing.
take it, own it and use it. your skills, your proposal, without caring whether it is accepted or not cuz you know how good it is..
She used the body language, dance and Cuba references as an analogy to seduction in its pure meaning, which is "enticing". That's why she mentioned many times that seduction is about knowing what a person wants, or presenting something in a way that makes it attractive to others. It's all about knowing what you've got and using it in its best way to get what you want. It's totally plausible to put this definition in a professional environment, exposing your ideas and projects, for example. I'm pretty sure that by "seducting" she didn't mean "dancing in someone's lap to get shit". When she said people should learn seduction in a young age, do you really think she said we should sexualize ourselves? Open your minds a little bit more. --'
Love this!! I feel your spot on.
Exactly!!!🎉
PERFECT
Essentially, it's the power of charisma that gets you far in life (this may go hand-in-hand with the power of seduction)
No should always be interpreted to mean "no." Enthusiastic consent needs to be the priority.
So, to save your 12 minutes I've conclude that there are four important elements needed to do the seductionn successfully : 1. DESIRE 2.. CONFIDENCE 3. BODY LANGUAGE 4. AROUSAL
better than watching all the 'rumba' video , thanks !
Thanks, adhd
And being able to express it. :)
Yes this can work very well for a beautiful and curvaceous 25 year old woman but for a homely and portly 60 year old man, not so much. 😁
@@rm-jl8wy if that's what you want to think
Even though I didn't necessarily agree with what she was saying, I'm still amazed. Her level of self confidence is astounding. I can't even begin to imagine what that feels like, to be that sure of yourself and your image. I have respect for her based simply on that
what didn't you agree with, out of curiosity?
Seduction in your speech is more like inspiration to passionate pursuit of something we love - it could be art, science, sports or culinary skills, or romance.
i lost it when she called herself classy
Classy Chloride (i.e. Cl minus)
Did anyone else noticed that the man seemed uncomfortable when she danced crazily in front of him?
Because he is not sure how to act . In today’s society are confused . Will she flip on me if I make a move and accuse me of harassment. If she says yes will she regret the yes later and say she really did not want to but you the man should have known this!
Yeah if this was a guy doing that to a girl this video would be taken down in seconds
Exactly.that is basically harassment.
Honestly I think it was staged. No pun intended.
This rollercoaster of TED talks about flirting and loneliness and seduction and hot-apeing is killing the few social skills I had left. I just can't keep up with all that's being said, damn.
Music Films & Bastille story of my life but hey try everything and keep doing whatever works for you!
Because most speaks are unready to make that speach...
Hot apeing 😂
Music Films & Bastille they're purposely trying to make you Fusion in the United States it started that way a long time ago with propaganda and now that the internet is flourishing propaganda of emotional confusion psychological confusion of the human body and men and women and how people should and could and possibly get along it's all about that just messing with people and turning them into cattle
I'll save you babe. Let me get my cape.
A financial system free from many of the burdens and pitfalls created by trusted intermediaries and powerful masters sounds like a beautiful future we should all want to usher in.
The best to do with your money is to invest
True though unfortunately mine always end with losses
You do not really need someone to tell you how to invest your coins, you can make research on your own and trade with expert to guild you through
I have heard of many brokers I do hope they can help me
People are scared of investing because they are scared of been scammed of their hard earn money
Anyone here after watching Scott Kramers video?
Yup. Hi 👋
ok everything she is talking about is fine if its at the beach or a nightclub. If you tried any of this at the workplace or at the grocery store then it becomes sexual harassment and you can criminally convicted. Seriously not many people going about their daily business want people around them trying to seduce them, what is the point of this talk?
If it works in Cuba or outside the US. Don't do.
You’re right , but she said “often she’s visiting Cuba” Well I know people from Cuba living terrible 😞, so they know is the only way that they have ...
Plus she's a woman. She has the luxury to talk this way cuz she's not the one who has something to lose in such a scenario.
that is the thing: my impression is that there is no point of this talk. It confused and she appears to be the judge in her own case. It's all over the place and makes no greater sense.
😂😂😂
I liked it but I was expecting she to talk about that non-sexual seduction that she mentioned
True. A bit deceiving
Same she starts by introducing the power of seduction in our everyday lives and it just became a list of how to seduce someone
OMG YES.
It's making people like you and gravitate towards you. In other words being a leader
@@Angela-hx4eh ll
I danced Cuban salsa, rueda and rumba guaguanco for 3 years now, there’s something about it that makes you feel so confident. Didn’t know this ted talk would be the one to break it down. I know exactly what she’s talking about! 😱😱😱
What is the name of the song at the beginning of the video????
Thank you Chen Lizra....i check in on this every once in awhile when i need to remember me.
Holy fuck that was the most awkward opening I've seen.
Sean the Prawn the whole talk is awkward. seduction, arousal, shes weird
***** i dont doubt shes a real good person irl. but this talk is weirder hhhh
piero
Sean the Prawn I was looking for this comment lol
Cringe!!!
People who say this message doesen't make any sense....U didn't get anything of what she was saying. The idea she is carrying is just amazing .I have many things to think of since now.
do u want play the game of seduction with me? i'm sure it will be just amazing
***** I see ur point .I can't completely agree with you though. I believe(as soon as I understood her), she treats seduction not only like the means of getting what u want,not only like the way of manipulation. She says that to be able to seduce someone,u have to be self-confident first,u have to love urself and believe in yourself enough to be able to accept your nature and be satisfied with just who u are,when you feel powerful,you can make others obey to ur power,when u are ready to keep on going without fear of failure ,without fear of being rejected-if u have all of this pieces of jigsaw puzzle put together,you are self-sufficient enough to seduce someone. It's not only about playing games,it's about necessity of self-belief,self-pride,about being accomplished. Don;t u agree?
***** "It's onto the next person who is willing to play along"..hmmm..well,I believe there are different ways to seduce (depending on what exactly u want to get from that one who u are attempting to seduce),that's why I think there is a big difference between "seducing" and "playing". If two people don;t mind ending somewhere in the bedroom ,then yeah, they just start " playing" with each other,to make "the game" more interesting and such a game won't last long,But anyways it is mutual consent Seducing is another thing.Of course,u can seduce instantly by getting naked or dancing striptease which would be simply to do,but the real power of seduction is to "get what the other person is missing and give it to them",to get into someone's head and heart ,to possess their thoughts,to learn them "from inside". Manipulating is to make ppl believe everything they do is their decision To be Seduced means to be tempted,means to lose ur head and not being able to resist,even if u realise the other person can use u.
***** |What do you think of my previous comment?
Anastasia Аre you neglecting me huh?)
"Domine a arte da sedução e você terá tudo o que deseja na vida"
Fact is, after seeing this and wondering how great it would be to experience what Chen Lizra talks about, this feeling of desire publicly, and measuring how embarassing it would be makes the difference between our culture and theirs ...
I wanted to see this is as a useful talk but no. She said that seduction is overly sexualized and then went on for 10 minutes focusing on sexualizing it. Well focus is a strong word because the talk seemed to lack focus. Just a lot of fluff about how you can have anything if you master the art, yet not telling you how to. Ok great, what now? Do I have to move to Cuba?
Probably wouldn't hurt to go to Cuba
It reminds me of the KZhead ads that say "You can become rich with these 3 EASY steps" then you check out the ad further and then it says "Pay us $3000 to learn these 3 steps". All Charlatans.
@@superjayman6 I'm not knocking this, as one may spend one's time in whatever way one wants, but can you seriously teach something complex in 12 minutes?...Unless getting on a plane to a climate change threatened country and immersing myself in a culture is a simple matter. And I suppose I'd better start studying chicken coop videos to acclimate myself to the process. Ta-ta, oops, double entendre...Yuck
The crowd was dead after that "seductive" dance lol *crickets*
😁
The comments made me walk away from the entire video.
Awesome job. This resonates and was what I needed to hear.
For the haters: Her whole point was that flirting is healthy if you approach it right and understand it. Getting attention from an attractive person feels good, doesn't it? Right. So now you understand.
And yes the concept of flirting is what she used to prove the importance of seductiveness. However, I advise that we think about these TEDx talks a little deeper to receive the full benefit of their knowledge, by applying all of these topics to life in general. Seductive pretty much means extremely attractive. Kind of like when you can't take your eyes of something. Now the strength of seduction is all about the presentation, which is why she stated that it is like an art. We have to open our eyes to see that we are being seduced and are seducing as well every single day; at work, home, online, church, with family, friends, kids, everyone. Its not all sexual. See Americans tend to take things at face value, and never give it a second thought, which is very judgmental, unfortunately. That's called stereotyping...
Yes both of you! What's interesting is that all these comments are about sex as advertising (or as used in advertising). She said off the top it was not about that. It also seems that point about learning yes from no from maybe was missed entirely.
For me she's using the word seduction to explain something way more complex as persuade. Using an urban word to try to explain how self confidence most of the time is the missing piece between wishing and getting...good talk. 👌
Wow! Im cuban and everything that she’s saying is so true! I miss my country so much 💔
Thanks, Chen. At 74 and dancing and teaching Rumba, yours is such an uplifted conversation… Where could I see more of your talks or performances? Gracias
hmm ... I missed the part about how/why to implement the power of seduction in our everyday lives :-/
Seduce using body language, harass and that persons desires to get what you want, show confidence and people will be more open, be the boy/girl you want, be your boss who you want to not hate you.
your photo says you didn't
It's sad to read, that a lot of people didn't get even slightest bit of her point
VG
BS
Oh look who is talking to her mirror
So what did you 'get' 'her point' to be?
Confidence and Success begins internally. Nobody can give you a feeling of inferiority without your permission. If you're damaged because of your childhood education you have to grow outside your comfort zone. So everyday you gotta do smt that scares you in order to grow. You are beautiful because you exist, nobody scales your beauty unless you expect them to do so. That applies to your body as also your mind. So just imagine yourself as the child, dancing around the people who love you and just feel loved, appreciated and sexy.
Love listening to a ton of ted talks 💝
There wasn't much to learn from this talk as the information is very subjective and condensed, but I think that's the point. Seduction isn't something that just anyone can learn and use to a huge degree. Some will be much better at using it than others. Sometimes it's subtle and vague. Sometimes people can seduce without even trying or doing it intentionally. Regardless, I'm glad Chen brought this phenomenon to light because it's true when she said seduction is seen as a negative action and feeling. When it can easily be a skill just like any other.
Yes it takes a long time. But I don't understand the "There wasn't much to learn from this talk as the information is very subjective and condensed". What?? Why would more information be less to learn? 😂 rethorical question by the way haha, have a great day.
i agree
"a no, that was a maybe, turns into a yes" and tens of years of feminism flush down into the toilet.
Not even feminism, its Just wrong and harming by reinforcing the stereotypes. 'She said no but she really ment yes', ugh, I hate it 😑
In my humble opinion I think that, the "no"that turns into" maybe", that turn into "yes" is itself a form of sexism, and show us that sexism is in us, in all of us, man and woman.. No one would conceive a no, turning to maybe turning to yes, if we were free from sexism We would simply, once asked, answer what you really feel whether is yes or not... That "no" that the Cuban woman says in the story here, is not an real "no" but is based on a sexist cultural weight that we all have on us that manipulate our behaviour.. Maybe if sexism didn't exist she would have said "yes" as first answer.. Here is what they are talking about, the presenter said that cubans are able to read if a no is a real no, means they go over the first sexism barrier that doesn't allow that woman to say, at first, what she really feels.. Here we are not talking about, manipulating the others with mental strategies, harassing someone, or forcing someone to say yes, here we are just talking about reading between the lines using our inners senses, in that place where disparities and misconception don't exist, reading in that place not made from words, sexism, feminism, here we are talking about desire, and being passionate about life and this is a non verbal language that is not attached to human issues, and it go beyond our society cultural heritage. To me just reinforce the idea that feminism is necessary to make us live our own life as free people, and I didnt feel this video's message was going otherwise..
@@marcotognetti1047 thank u for this text
@@marcotognetti1047 Yes you are absolutely correct. A woman saying no is also a fault of men.
Men also say no that turns into a maybe that turns into a yes. Don’t ignore human nature or you’ll never understand anything. (I work in sales).
Why does she look like Janice from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. ?
OUH MY.... (you know..)
+pooleroes GAWD! ehheheh
oh my gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawd
Both Jewish
yupp!!! hehehehe
Life-changing and wonderful presentation with really good demonstration. Really loved this one! We need to let go of some of our seriousness and be more silly and seductive with some childish charm ❤️
Are you serious what did you watch ? This was the worst Ted talk I’ve ever seen! An over confident narcissist calling herself classy etc telling us to change our perception of a form of manipulation. Her insight was zero she told us nothing!! Total waste of everyone’s time. Life changing presentation Jesus dude get a life!!!!
Apparently he did! So all good ;)
I feel like this Ted talk didn’t really have a point…? Or maybe the message was lost on me
Anybody with a powerpoint and a headset is an expert today
Precisely. We are each each other’s teacher.
I understand what this woman is saying but most Men would take seduction the wrong way and you couldn't blame them. For example, if a woman in a business seduces her manager, then that obviously would make the Manager think she wants to have sex in return for a promotion or something else. Seduction is very dangerous, especially when it comes to different cultures. Can you imagine this woman working in Dubai or an Arab nation and seducing a man? She'd get raped and the man would say she wanted it because she seduced him. Cuba is just one culture, the rest of the World is not Cuba.
not really...it's not necessarily about being openly sexual
Khala, that's what most cultures regard it as and its understandable why: if someone seduces someone else, then obviously that person being seduced believes the seducer wants sex. Its not rocket science.
Jonathan Po
if she worked in arab nation or in Dubai and seduces a man she would get raped ?
Because seduction is advertisement of the body. It is a body language that means clearly come one let's do it. There are types of seduction varying from active to passive, like wearing revealing clothes or doing appealing movements. That's really shame.
Amazingly powerful narrative with the most appropriate vocabulary, approach and delivery.
Thank y'all so much dearest 🌹 Y'all such an inspiration 🥰 Appreciate y'all from the bottom of my heart 💖 Be Blissful Eternally 🙏👼🌈
Wtf is wrong with people
umm what hair products do u use gurl?
She didn't explain anything. I got nothing out of this except she's a dancer from Cuba who likes to grind on dudes.
yap..thats what I was thinking.
HHH
I just wanted her to seduce me :/
I just wanted her to seduce me :/
Fools. Don't listen. That's just fine.
I´m cuban, she is awesome and has drawn a perfect picture of that part of our reality
Hahaha I didn't feel the seduction, it was really awkward
ME TOO..it was cringe
You see gentlemen... it’s precisely that kind of tone and mental perspective that repels women from you. lol and makes sense. You’re here to understand the art because obviously being close minded with tiny egos hasn’t exactly won you the best of life’s offerings. lol
@@Leeohlin89 A lot of wierd assumptions there lol
@@Leeohlin89 god no, that was incredibly awkward sis. So forced and she is really fetishizing Latin American culture. Coming from a Latin American.
@@Leeohlin89 If this creepy works on you, I don't want to date you anyway.
She says "as we grow old we lose our childlike attitude" LAdy please! dont malign this innocence of childhood into your perverse "art of seduction". Her whole idea is shallow , I dont have to seduce my way to get things done. I believe you can have a personal charm, genuine smile and sincerity to achieve great results
Its true what your saying but some people would see flashing a smile as seduction. Think of the pretty girl who get stick for flirting, if a small smile even remotely crosses her lips at the opposite sex... you know for me this subject is 'subject' to subjectivity, and personal perception of the meaning of seduction. It is a bit borderline though the way she is talking, or words she is using, people could take it wrong, but words have different meaning for different people, so its hard not to use your meaning as oppose to the meaning the person who is saying it is.
***** I can see what you are trying to say here :) Thanks for your insight girl Peace
Audrey Adams Your welcome, these talks are interesting though, its good to hear all views gives even more insight as to how people perceive each other and how people place meaning on people's actions or language. And personally I think seduction is a natural non forced thing, if people find you charismatic and are drawn to you, its because its natural not forced, if you force it, your fake.. she seems a bit of an attention seeker unlike the other talkers.
***** "if people find you charismatic and are drawn to you, its because its natural not forced, if you force it, your fake.. she seems a bit of an attention seeker unlike the other talkers. " I second that! And yes I dont like the shallowness of her speech thats what prompted me to comment in the first place. Thanks for your kind feedback :)
Actually, keeping this attitude is called "having a good contact with the inner child". The "inner child" is a term that means inbetween others to be creative, explorative, to have a positive attitude, not to be too stressed and judgemental, and having a courage to realise that positive creativity... with a smile". Your pathological disapproval of that concept tells people only that most probably you may feel socially unfit and tend to convince yourself of being bit by stiffly sticking to artificial rules of artificial behaviour. It must be really gray and cloudy in your small, inner world. Please stop to impose it on the happier and more fulfilled ones. ;)
also, read The Power of Seduction. such a great book about it
Imagine this same talk. ...but a guy doing it.
Ads can harm your self-esteem. Maketing does not want you to be happy but to have the feeling that something is missing (and that they got what you need). This is the dark side of seduction.
The instructive effectiveness of this is equivalent of a lecture on how to swim.
Good comparison.
Thank you so much for explaining this. I am Cuban and seduction, the way it's described here, is something so natural to me that I never think I'm trying to seduce someone. Now everything makes sense. I've been feeling like there's something wrong with me but maybe not 😅
That opening caught me off guard ✨️
Seduction is one of the world's greatest misconception. I believe a lot more people would understand it's impact and importance better if people called it "super persuasion" instead. The ones who can use it effectively are the ones who will fulfill their dreams and hopes by bending people to their will. Creators like Steve Jobs and Bill Gates had this ability and not only bent people to their will but also the world and their future. The ones who commit to learn the art of seduction truly have the power to change the world.
***** Seduction does not have to be sexual. The whole point of this video was to demonstrate that seduction could help people gain in other ways than just sexuality. Yes, the art of sexual seduction may seem shallow but implementing the same principles in business is what makes it productive. Seduction is a powerful tool that can be used for either shallow or beneficial purposes.
Welsh Guy Yes that did happen. Although that was one of her examples, her point was that seduction can be used for other things as well. I wouldn't say her ted talk was shallow, but rather it is misleading and not structured well enough to get her message across
I wouldn't say it like that lol
Florian Melzer Then Lirzra would do well to use a dictionary every once and a while. "Seduction", in its most popular English vernacular, is a deliberate act to charm or persuade in a manner that is specifically _sexual_. Without that keyword, there's no need for the word to even exist. Whereas "seduction" is sometimes used synonymously with the more general terms charm or persuasion in a nonsexual way, this video is decidedly about the sexual mode from her examples of voice, body language, arousal, and flirtatious behavior. Ask yourself, what do you think the recipient expects the seducer is offering when she acts that way? Her platonic friendship? Her life advice? No, it's sex or something related to it, implicit or explicit. If that's the seducer's actual goal to begin with then that's fine, but Lizra's description of seduction as a power to be used in everyday life to "build connections" implies its use outside of that purpose "to get anything". In other words, use the lure of sex to get things you want. That's her message regardless of how metaphorically she flowers her speech with talk of empowerment. According to Lizra, the trick is to know how to use seduction and when. Note how she doesn't answer _why_.
Sylis Vandomeur I think you have a point and I also think her ted talk was not structured correctly to convey her actual point. It's ambiguous because of her "flowery language" whether or not she really is referring to getting things through "sexual acts" or not. She might have been dancing in a "sexual" way but it is ambiguous whether she is using this as an example of seduction as in persuasion to catch her audience's attention or if she is making a statement and telling people to get the things they want with sexual endeavors.
I think she has something to say, but doesn't really know what it is...
Spot on !
Well she didn't say it, she DID it.
Pedro Barbeira the hips don't lie. 😉
Agree with you but do not think this had to feature in Ted talk
Good one 🤣
This was weird - straight up
I am from India and I learned a lot from you. Thanks for sharing this information with us.
um i think most comments are missing the point.
I usually like the open concepts purposed by any TedTalk, but I couldn't like this one. In some moment I just felt she was inciting sexual harrasment. I remember something like "Men in Cuba try to seduce women several times, making their way to their desire. What in a first moment was a 'no', then turns into a "maybe" and then into 'yes'". Maybe that's right in Cuba, but I don't like to encourage people to forget what 'NO' means. In fact, I think that's one of the big issues we have nowadays, many, many people do not understand or remember its meaning.
+Grey Alien u dont? Ur thinking about women like u would about something u want to get, and things can't tell u "no", but a person can and u should respect it without conveniently thinking they're meaning something else.
+Grey Alien by the way, ur way of thinking doesnt suprise me at all...it seems u dont know much about respect boy. Ps: who said I needed to insist?
+Grey Alien said the guy called grey alien who thinks the only way to get a "mate" is by insisting. It seems that the rejected ugly school boy grew older. Just chill Adonis and stop naming unexisting references u cant even quote. Good luck boy
Yes, this is partly because it is TEDx. Most TEDx events have no standards and are generally shitty. She is clearly an idiot as well, Cuba is not a country which anyone should want to emulate.
If you've ever been married you'll know that no means no, no means maybe, and no means yes sometimes. Trust me I've been told no and then chastised for believing it was no. Women are just confusing.
I love how she moves when she enters, its just nice way of entering to the topic she is presenting and am i the only one who's aware that she seems flirting when she talks 😜
best and life changing ted talk ever thank you so much
Not seductive or sexy at all. Seduce me with honesty, genuineness and kindheartedness.
Okay now I am not gonna scroll through the comments more
what she told was the definition of seduction to the people and what it actually meant . As she said at first , the definition of seduction has garnered the reputation of wrongdoing and biased , but it is nothing but the art of influencing someone . That's how politics work . Whole country gets lured with the idea of one person . In fact , that is how KZhead and all media works even . I mean what's click bait for then ? Low key we all want to seduce some group or someone with our idea
Boom! Feel that. And theeeen playfulness has its meaning and purpose.
Those who seduct you with honesty and kindheartedness are kept by you within friendzone borders.
@@user-lr4dy1op3i yup.