Lisa Swyer lived her entire life as a white woman until a DNA test shattered her sense of identity. In her early 40s, the kit revealed that she had African roots, which ultimately led to her mother to privately admitting that she had an affair with a Black man. Lisa joins our episode titled “My Family Secret” to talk about how her life has changed since discovering the truth.
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Okay, so as a Black person, I instantly knew this woman was mixed with Black because we have so many shades of colors. I'm in shock that she's in shock :)
Exactly
It was indoctrinated in her that she was white even though she wasn't sure why she didn't look like her white siblings. It sounds like she knew deep down she wasn't 100% white.
I saw it immediately too.
It's obvious.
Me too!
I did ancestry DNA looking to match a cousin. I found ....a half sister. We're meeting this Friday. Her mom who's in her 70s said she prayed for this day. She just turned 53....and I'll be 52 in 10 days. We're both so excited
How did it go??
@@Marcel_Audubon GREAT!!!!
@@sharonbell6728 so happy for you!!! 🥳
@@Marcel_Audubon and we're so alike. That's the crazy part lol
Glad it went well Glad y'all got to meet for the first time
Mom’s nasty response you will never know who you are or where you come from, sickens me to my core. Making her daughter feel as if it’s your fault for the stolen waters she was conceived in.
she is a sociopath. and in true fashion did what was deem best for HER. She was pregnant and had no clue if it was the husband or someone elses. just based on the results she had sex with 2 men with wedding bands.. 🤜🏿 🤔 if you listen to her story.. she DID this DNA as a present 🎁to her dad. A SIGN she wasn't doing any favors for her mom. The daughter knows her mom is trash on many other levels. she clear loves her dad more
Mom is a piece of crap for handling this the way she did. She was cruel
It's not a good background to begin with. Maybe the mum was protecting herself but also the whole family
Mom felt attacked, and probably suspected someone else in the family put her daughter up to it. Keep in mind, too, that Mom was the one who would bear the brunt of public judgement for her actions and the consequences, especially so, then more than now. People rarely are at their best when they are scared. It was a horribly cruel thing she said, but I am thrilled to find that she was able to bare her soul to her daughter at a later point in life.
the mom may NOT have meant it the way you are putting it. she may have tried to dissuade her from doing the DNA test, to keep the family waters calm and not cause a tornado that could ruin her daughters relationship with the current dad and ruin the family altogether.
I did the Ancestry DNA test a few years ago. I wanted to verify my parentage to disprove the lifelong rumor that I am not my father’s son due to my lighter skin tone and red hair. DNA confirmed both parents and found known cousins on both sides. No surprise relatives. No surprise lineage. Although both parents have passed, it is good to know that the family information I have believed all my life is correct.
As a therapist it's crazy for me to see how many parents still lie to their kids. How sad.
It literally happens to us adopted people all the time, yet society somehow says it’s OK because we’re adopted
@@DezaRay24Since when does society say it's "okay?" Yes back then many parents hid their identity, but "okay" is not the right word for what they did.
Some 20 years ago, DNA tests were not available to the average person. Now anyone can get it done. It has also unearthed many secrets. The DNA companies actually have teams of people to handle those calls because it rattles people to the core. There are also countless support groups for those that are finding out the truth.
I mean I know that my friend's mother had to lie about who her father was because her family was extremely racist and she had her at a young age and still lived at home with her family so she grew up not knowing but not really because her mother told her the truth just not the rest of the family
Family secrets can ruin people.
When looking to meet a biological parent keep in mind it’s not always a fairy tale. At 13 I was told the man I thought was my dad was not my biological father. At 19 I reluctantly met my biological father. His wife preferred he did not have a relationship with me and I never heard from him again. That was 25 years ago. The rejection still hurts to this day.
You're better off without him, he's no good type of man to let his wife tell him to stay away from His own child and he actually agreed with her, did what she said and is still with her They Don't need you and you definitely Don't need them
I wish I could hug you. I always knew who my dad was but he cheated on my mom divorced her married the other woman she never wanted my sister and I in their lives and made our lives here miserable I’m 58 my father still alive my mother is deceased and I have no relationship with my dad because apparently his wife and their son is more important so I get it it really and truly hurts when your real parent can’t give you love
@@EmpressAshe This is probably true but it hurts really really bad and a day does not go by that you don’t think about it speak from experience unfortunately
I'm sure it's his lost...
@@EmpressAshe ♥️🙏🏻
Hard to believe that nobody in her family knew she was biracial, it's very obvious. They knew, they just kept their mouths shut about it. She's a beautiful young lady, and I'm so happy things turned out well for her.
Although shows like the 'Jerry Springer Show' never detail this information: I would like for all of you commentators & fans out there to understand that (as can be easily seen by simply reviewing your closest relatives bodily hands) It is no coincidence that we are all genetically fingerprinted - coded differently. Although within four children (of the same biological mother and father), one child may be somewhat different by the leg - muscle structure, the hair texture, coloration of eyes & etc....; nevertheless, The hands represent the only body structure whereas 1/2 of the hands appearance is taken directly from the mother whereas the other half is taking directly from the father; thus, in general, if you as the biological children all have the same exact biological mother and father then your hands will be basically identical. Corruption can appear when one or more of the children have hands that are totally different from the hands of the other siblings. It's sort of like a DNA checklist.
@@wr066Interesting.
I do not agree that it is so obvious, plus as a child you trust your parents!
@@sandraruland3846Did you miss the part where "friends and family stared at her"? It was obvious to them. Did you see her pictures from her childhood? Apparently she always had an inkling, but the topic was never discussed. "Trusting your parents" has nothing to do with it.
Parents not only ignorant but cruel as well. That mother is no mother.
At the age of 40, I found out why my father´s wife who I was told was my mother, hated me. I was shorter than my siblings, the only one with blue eyes and every time I asked questions I was beaten. My mother was Colombian I was told, they had no information on her name or anything else. My father came to Colombia and had a long affair with a Colombian woman who gave birth to premature twins. My sister lived only 3 days and my father a military doctor smuggled me back to Canada in a shoebox. I am well past 60 years old now and I still have dreams of hearing my sister and my biological mother singing to me in Spanish. I have been in Colombia now for a decade looking for someone who looks like me and nothing. There is a huge mental toll and I struggle to feel wanted, loved or able to love. I thank this young lady for being bold enough to share her story. I do not feel as alone as I did just 15 minutes ago. Thank you
Upload your DNA to Gedmatch to have the best chance of finding a relative. It's how I found a first cousin.
That kind of hateful projection from your dad’s wife must have felt awful. Please know that you are so loved. Have you done a dna test? I know many in Columbia probably can’t afford a test, but you never know there may be a link.
I am so sorry you had that experience. No child should be hated by those who raised them. 😢
Although shows like the 'Jerry Springer Show' never detail this information: I would like for all of you commentators & fans out there to understand that (as can be easily seen by simply reviewing your closest relatives bodily hands) It is no coincidence that we are all genetically fingerprinted - coded differently. Although within four children (of the same biological mother and father), one child may be somewhat different by the leg - muscle structure, the hair texture, coloration of eyes & etc....; nevertheless, The hands represent the only body structure whereas 1/2 of the hands appearance is taken directly from the mother whereas the other half is taking directly from the father; thus, in general, if you as the biological children all have the same exact biological mother and father then your hands will be basically identical. Corruption can appear when one or more of the children have hands that are totally different from the hands of the other siblings. It's sort of like a DNA checklist.
❤
Her mom handled this so poorly. No matter how you feel, as a parent, you put your kids first. I'm so glad she did that in the end.
People generally do the best that they can in difficult situations. Few are malicious in their decisions.
If you are with a partner that you are afraid will abuse you or the child, you do what you have to in order to keep you both safe.
This wasn't even about being honest with her child. This was about hiding an affair.
Medically it is important to know about ethnicity. For example blacks can have Sickle Cell Anemia.
My mother did too smh
My niece was given up for adoption and we finally found her and we are so thankful.
Is she thankful too?
@Ali Bumbiye as an adoptee myself, I ask because I didn't want to be found. But go off attacking strangers and making assumptions. I was not happy to be reunited. I hold that pain everyday while they are all excited and THANKFUL yet ignore how it makes me feel. People like you assume the feeling is mutual.
Mine too.
All adoptions start with trauma and loss so hopefully you give her time to grieve all she lost being taken out of her bio family. I hated being adopted and I do still hate being adopted. Family that was kept will never understand
@@JenJHayden I was an adoptee as well it is still your position to tell them how you feel, tell them that you felt overwhelmed by their excitement-hold some accountability
Great story. It's basically my story in a nutshell. I took a DNA test in 2019 and received my results in early 2020. It was a shocker. None of my immediate and extended family members were listed. Also, I saw reference to North Carolina and the Bahamas. So, I proceeded to reach out to some of the DNA relatives and received some responses. It's only when I received a call on New Year's Eve in 2021 from a lady revealing that she is my half-sister. After an lengthy conversation, it was revealed who my biological father was. Fast track to last month, I visited my mother in Miami and she confirmed who my biological father was. So far, I have just talked to a couple of my siblings on the phone. Hopefully, I will meet them in person.
Good luck and I hope your future meetings go well.
@@stephanieyee9784 Thank you. 😊
So happy for you! Congrats and good luck!
@@jtidema Thank you so much.
Hello from The Bahamas.
My mom was adopted at birth and found her bio mom when she was in her 40's. Also found two half sisters who that same bio mom birthed. Over 20 years later my mom and I both did DNA tests on a couple different sites and AMAZINGLY found a half sister from her bio father's side. And the kicker? She lived only 20 minutes away from us here in Washington my entire life (they were both born in California). They are the best of friends now, I am so thankful for this new technology bringing families together!
Thank you for having a diversification of guests. Not only are celebrities welcome, but every day people. We needed these moments.
❤❤❤
Yes...
And she is a very lovely woman. Admire her down to earth poise .
I think everyone should get their DNA test done. I found a brother I didn't even know was missing. My father passed away years ago not knowing he had another son who is a pastor. It's been the greatest joy of my life. Best wishes to her!
The problem with that is a great loss of privacy. That's why many people restrain from this test.
2020 bought us a new aunt. It's crazy how much she looks like our family especially my mom and her daughter is the spitting image of one of my other aunts.
I have a sister that I can't find. What DNA test did you take?
@@pattielaine2931 We did ancestry. My lost aunt matched with some extended cousins and then they did a DNA test amongst the siblings.
I can clearly see she has African blood.
My dad was adopted and didn't know his heritage so over the years we decided that because of his skin tone, tight curly black hair, etc.. that he was creole. He was born at the old charity hospital in New Orleans so it made sense. We looked nothing like our other cousins. I lived most of my adult life as a mixed race person. Got my DNA done a few years ago and found out my dad was French and Eastern European Jew. Total identity crisis!!
Things to dna, we found the two children my grandmother gave up for adoption. My mother got to have two more siblings in the last few years of her life. Her older sisters had died and she was feeling lonely. So she got to know her long lost siblings. I feel it is the best gift I ever gave her.
This woman clearly looks biracial, especially without her hair straightened. At first glance, I thought she was Black. I'm absolutely amazed that no one close to her thought she had Black DNA. It seems quite apparent. Her dad who raised her had to have known.
Well it seems that everyone was minding their own business. They stared (the adults) but never dared to say a word to her. Many children in that situation are not as fortunate.
Even with her hair straightened she looks biracial. Her hair texture is definitely more on the African than European side.
@@FG-xc5qj Right. Clearly biracial and not black passing.
@@nicollettenyob absolutely!
Everyone knew. that's why they stared at her.
Girl! A blind man can see you were not just white🙄😏😏
Exactly but when you've been brainwashed as a child she could have thought she was a chicken, cow,you name it. That was a poor mother.
Y’all must have a DNA lab cuz y’all always have all the answers when it comes to race and who is black and who isn’t .
@@real8551 A personal DNA lab isn't necessary when we have eyes. At first glance, she looks like a light-skinned Black woman. It was even more apparent in her childhood photos, with her curly hair. I can see how some could think she was Hispanic but just looking at her, my assumption was she was mixed race, Black and White.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@deejacks1 but Australian aborigines phenotypic ally look black but are identified as being Melanesians descendants of a Eurasian group. So looking black or having some black phenotypes mean absolutely nothing
I have an adopted cousin who sought out his biological parents. The biological father slammed the phone down and said, "Don't ever contact me again." The biological mother was at first very loving -- then my cousin discovered that he'd used his name without his knowledge and entangled him in a legal issue that cost him thousands of dollars to unravel. So... not every story about biological parents being discovered by their offspring has a happy ending.
when your DNA test introduces you to your real family ... The McShadys 😯
So very sad for your friend.
Hopefully he appreciates his adoptive family.
My sister and I are both adopted in the 1960's, and from two different birth mothers. We have always known that we are adopted. However, the adoption agency told my parents that my sister is German heritage. Keep in mind, my sister has green eyes, and a pretty caramel colored complexion. About 10 years ago, my sister discovered that her birth Mom was Native American from the Turtle Mountain tribe in northern North Dakota. That is, she is Metis/ Ojibwa. That means her birth Mom's family is a mix of Native American and French Canadian. My sister's birth father does have German roots. However, the adoption agency had lied. It was very common for adoption agencies in the United States to lie about a baby's health or ethnic background, anything to get the child adopted.
Parents just tell your children the truth.
I know that's right ..I made mistakes in my life ..And I never lied to them .. Because I never want them to go through what I had to .. NEVER.. You have a wonderful day 🙂🤗
I'm 73 and in the last 7 years have been in contact with my half sister (thank you Ancestry) who is 3 years older than me. We share a father. She was raised by the man her mother was married to and never knew he was not her father until the day I called her and told her I was her half sister. Both her parents and our shared father had passed away at the time but my mother was still alive and filled in a lot of blanks for us. We're in touch every day and live near one another and are so delighted to have one another in our lives. Fortunately a happy ending.
I am freckled with red curly hair, I did the DNA test and found out that my family had a plantation, and I'm related to a very sweet black women. We embrace our heritage. ❤
I dug into our family history and found out my family owned slaves in this small town ..I just wish I knew names. Possibly kin to people I know!
Her mother is full of it. This is a horrible thing to do to a child
i onno but i think her momma didn't want that beat down . we don't know that she had the finances to escape after a possible fall out. the older i get the more i understand some people's fears
Both of her biological parents were wrong. They conceived her through an affair. And he had to pray to find out that he had children in the world. That’s reckless behavior. You should know exactly who the mother or father of your children are.🤦🏽♀️
@@moniquej369 The Father didn’t even know she existed..so, that’s all on her raggedy Momma..
It is, but unfortunately, this is really common.
It will come out!!. Now her husband knows his wife slept with a black man.
I did my DNA test. Now I have 9 half siblings. What a blessing it’s been
Which dna test did you use?
@@Tflyisme I used Ancestry
@@Allengo2 Thank you. 🙂
I went through this exact same thing, found out I was Spanish not white…same story my mom lied 32 years later still won’t admit to it even though my dna and entire ancestry family tree proves it… terrible terrible growing up wondering why the void inside was still there…I feel you girl! So glad you received this peace and can be entirely you!! Shine bright..❤
Spanish is white lol
@@Lulu-hq8mx i will add a disagreement the only true white human are albino. and there are not many of them. what we call white is a crayola crayon color flesh tone. the reddish skin color called the first white men and women palefaces. and as mentioned there are very few people of african decent that are truly black. they are of a variety of chocolate color. the lightest color is white chocolate colored like megan markle. megan's mom is a tad off white so she is very light milk chocolate color. then there are milk chocolate folks, dark chocolate folks and then last but not least are the those hershey special dark chocolate folks. i look toward the piano with ebony and ivory keys. (black and white) or the north american skunk with tru black fur and tru white stripes. on a ethnic scale my best guess is i am a whitish skin color. but i do have a very light reddish birthmark on my left hand on my wrist skin. and there is a bright red microdot on my right hand arm. if i am not careful and stay in the sun to long i turn in to a red neck boy. and if i were a nudist in the sun to long i turn lobster red and my genitals will be sore to my touch and will scream for sun burn lotion. food for thought.
Another howler, Spain is European nation and citizens are white . I am Spanish not white reads like Texan not American 😮
Are you okay? Lol. Spanish not white? What is white then?
In all seriousness, are Mexicans (deep toned) who are Spanish, white? Are Peurto Rican, who are mixed with pretty much everything except Asian…I think…white? And why is ethnicity only divided into Hispanic or not Hispanic? Is that the only ethnicity? It just seems like more recently “Spanish” people are trying so hard to be “white”…and I’m not saying some aren’t predominantly of European descent. Why not embrace who you are and be Spanish? It’s ok…it’s not a bad thing. All races, ethnicities have beauty and worth.
I have a similar story . I found out when I was 22 that I was biracial and not legally adopted. At 35 I met my bio mom and a few years later she told me she didn't want me to contact her again because she feared her family would find out. After she died , her granddaughter found me and I met my brothers who are still in contact with me. I am now 62 , and have found my bio father through some ancestry research. Unfortunately he has passed. I know that he remarried and I am hoping to find any siblings.
I met my dad at age 40 after thinking he was dead before I was born. My story is so juicy I’m writing a book about it. Glad you found your biological dad and I pray for a successful relationship with him and your siblings.
Please put the name of your book in this thread. I’d love to read it.
@@LovelyCeee didn’t finish writing it as yet. I will though. Thanx!
Me too!!! I’d rather read then watch TV.
You're mum probably told you that to protect you
@@atarabat-yah2437 my story is so weird and twisted it’s like a lifetime movie. His brother was the one who actually died.
"You'll never know who you are or where came from," how can a Parent deny their child that. I'm sure she had her reasons but man...that hurts. I'm glad she finally came around
Exactly 🎯 that's a disgusting thing to say
maybe the mother was raped and chose to keep her baybe.
The mum is a liar, and that's the harsher truth.
She looks black passing...I have prople in my family lighter than her
Sadly, some parents feel it's ok not to let their children know anything about their history because they're too busy hiding their own shame or acting like it never existed if they experienced a traumatic past with their family.
The same thing happened to me. I took a DNA test and found out that my father was not my biological father and that I am 31% African. But it's not that big a deal. She is only 41 and can talk to her parents. I'm 69 and just found out a month ago and I have no one left to ask about it. I was told that I was part native American growing up.
At the age of 38, I too found out my dad was not my biological dad, via Ancestry. Devastating is an understatement. I found and connected with my biological father and he is a wonderful man BUT I'm so blessed to have been raised by MY DAD. It does rock your world though.
She doesn’t need her mothers blessing to look for her father. She’s grown
Your comment strongly suggests to me that you were raised by your biological parents, or believe you were. Those of us who know we were adopted, struggle with of/when we should try to discover our biological parents. I once asked my parents what they would think of me trying to learn who my biological parents are. I could tell from the short pause, then a quick reply, they had anticipated the question, but had hoped I would never ask. They said they would support me, and I believed they would have, but their answer showed that my question had hurt. I didn't try to learn about my bio parents until the state in which I was told I was born in, responded to my request for my original birth certificate, there there was no record of my birth. My only way to learn where I was actually born was to see what a DNA test would reveal. Now I have relationships with all my living first cousins and a younger half-sister. I have had a good long conversation and communicated on several other occasions with a younger half-brother, and have exchanged several messages with my oldest half-sister. My birth father never knew about me. I lived in Scotland from ages four to seven, and was very vocal when I learned we were going to move back to America. I insisted Scotland was my home and I wanted to stay there. Biologically, through my birth father, I am a Stuart, and descended from Robert the Bruce and Bonnie Prince Charley. Although nothing I knew about my life, nor anything my parents knew about me, provided any evidence that Scotland was my home, but genetically, I knew. Many other aspects of my life and who I am make sense to me now that I know who my bio ancestors were, and much about their lives. I am whole now.
And yet...if you're a child with a decent enough relationship with your parents...you kind of do...want their blessings.
@@musicalbenches There’s a time in your life that you have to take responsibility for your life. Your parents raised you to have a mind of your own and make decisions for yourself
I’m biracial and I have dark skin but straight hair. I can look at her and tell her she’s biracial. One time I told my friend she was biracial and she didn’t know 🤦🏽♀️
Most people are multiracial. very few pure anything.
Congratulations?
Blessings to you
You can't always look at a person and tell that they are biracial. Black people comes in many different skin hues, eye color, hair texture, etc.
That’s great for you however she was literally lied to her whole entire life, so you can kind of see why she would think and feel that way don’t question people unless you’ve walked in their shoes. I’m a biracial adopted by wyt people I knew from a young age I did not look like my family but that didn’t 100% tell me my racial make up
My ancestry DNA brought out lots of family secrets. My parents and grandparents all died by the time I was 27. I'm an only child and was curious about my heritage. My father had a paternal half brother born a few months before he was. Someone I grew up with on my maternal side is my 2nd cousin. It's saddening how families hide so many secrets.
yes ma'am! I'm one of those secrets. It hurts.
@@raejae5491 I'm so sorry. I don't know why people don't ever think of the lasting impact family secrets have.
I'm really surprised and saddened by some of these comments regarding her ethnicity. She grew up white, she had no reason to believe otherwise as a child. The insensitive comments are just downright hurtful.
This is adults living a lie and making a child feel ashamed and insecure.
Exactly!👍
Hi! That was a great story. I had a similar experience growing up. My mom and Dad had olive toned skin and dark brown hair and eyes. I am blonde with green eyes. People made comments about me not really being part of the family. An uncle was particularly cruel. Strangers would say where did she come from, etc. The simple answer is that my parents took after their Mediterranean moms, and I took after my green- eyed grampas. It does happen. Why can't we just rejoice over the amazing complex workings of our genes.
I have two Maori Great grandmothers, my sister, eldest daughter and second grandson have the olive skin and softer features of my Father, I look like my maternal grandmother who has Scottish and Spanish blood.
We can but we also have a right to know who our parents are.
Your comment reminds me of two siblings I know. The father is Asian/black mix but looks black with a touch of asian around the edges, the mother looks black. The kids came out looking like the Asian grandmother whom I know. They look mostly Asian with an extra touch of 'exotic' prettiness that an onlooker may not be able to put their finger on. I find it amusing that these kids may have a hard time explaining why they don't look too much like their biological parents.
My sister is dark and I am light. We are full blood sisters. It does happen.
the same with my daughter. I have hazel eyes brown hair and my husband dark haired and green eyed. Our daughter had strawberry blond hair and blue eyes. My husband 's sister made little digs at me but of course I knew he had to be her father since I had not been with anyone else. Fast forward 30 years and we do DNA tests really for fun as my husband never questioned her. The catty aunt (hubby's sister) found out they share 1900 centimorgans. I have to add too. I have known white people who had unusually tight curly hair, tanned easily, etc. and yes, they were their parents' child. Now, that DNA tests are around many people who believed they were white are finding out they are part black. It was not that their mother cheated, it was simply their great grandmother or grandfather who claimed French and "Cherokee" turned out to be Creole from Louisiana or a similar story to that. Somebody passed for white in their ancestry.
As an adopted person, I can say she did everything right.
What a sweet lady. So glad she was able to process her pain and that she gained a second dad and more siblings.
This story is so unique because her father prayed to the Lord to reveal if he had any child in the world. Two weeks later, the Lord answered his prayer. Believe in Him. Amen!
Amen!🙏🙌
Honestly he shouldn’t have had to pray to find out if he had any children in the world, because he should already know who his children are.🤷🏽♀️ That just shows reckless behavior.
@@moniquej369 lol if the mother kept it from her daughter what makes you think she NEVER told the daughter’s father!
@@moniquej369A mama's baby, father's maybe?
Science did it, not jesus
I learned the father i was raised with was not my father after adulthood too. I have never heard anyone express the same devastation and loss of identity that brings. Thank you for this story.
Sorry to hear that Stuart. I hope you're able to get some sort of closure and peace of mind out of the experience.
I still don't know which brother is my real dad.
Same! My mothers husband is not my father. I suspected for years as an adult because I don’t look like either one of them. I just found my fathers family at 50!
I was told that the father I was raised with was not my biological father when I was 13. In September, I met my biological dad for the first time (I'm now 46). None of the elders on my mom's side of the family have said a word about this, and neither has my mom. Family trauma runs deep and even if it's done with good intentions, keeping the true identity of someone's parents from them has long lasting repercussions.
Going through the same myself, and parents are deceased, so I may never know. ☹️
I read somewhere that 25% of all DNA test come back with a surprise relative. Usually either a different bio-father or an extra sibling. I ALWAYS tell people that a DNA test is not always fun and games.
I agree and would never give a DNA test to anyone as a gift because you never knew what 'secrets' it might reveal. So many people have found out that the dad who raised them was not their biological father and that can destroy families and a person's sense of identity.
I can see that many comments are down on those who keep secrets from their children ( & often they also keep secrets from the biological fathers, & their families). I do believe the truth should be spoken, not lies, BUT having done a lot of family research in small communities, there are many who genuinely think they are protecting the child, & saving marriages. They never envisioned a time when all could be exposed. One of the worst case scenarios - child whose father & grandfather were the same person.😢
Happened to me when I was 69. I often thought I was adopted because I was that different in temperament. Finally I did the AncestryDNA test and instead of half Irish/half Canadian German I came back 100 percent Irish. My birth father, like my mother, was born in Ireland and I was not related to the man who raised me. Took only a few days to figure out who my birth father was and I left a message for a remaining half sister. She called and said hello little sister! I cried! But my brother stopped talking to me once he knew I was not related to our father. Both our parents are long dead now. Mom took the news of her affair to the grave. Never even suggested it to me even though she continued to see my birth father for years.
Wow - you are still his sister- he has other things going on in his mind that are unrelated to you. Best wishes.
i found out at age 50 that my dad is not my bio dad.....i was stunned at first but then, i thought about how much my dad loved my mother and me, my three younger siblings....he worked hard, we had a good home, always what we needed and lots of extras too...he has always been proud of me and never treated me any differently than the other kids....when my dad's mother died, i was given my grandmothers jewelery, out of 30 grandchildren....but then i took care of nona in her elderly years, i was the only one that cooked with her, she taught me all my needlework skills and she told me all the family secrets, except that one....he is my dad...it is not the squirt that makes you who you are, it is the love and trust ..i know who my dad is and i don't care who the squirt was....my dad is 90 and mom is 86...i will, along with my siblings care for them till the end.......
Did your father know that you weren't his biological daughter?
You are right! Who loves you as dad is your dad.
That's wonderful. Although it is fine today have curiosity about one's genetic roots, it's appropriate to be loyal to the family that loved and cherished you.
We can't hide the truth from our children. Telling them the truths about their real world is the greatest gift you can give them. Hiding secrets from them so emotionally fragile, are best shared with a gentle, patient, kind, and understanding way.
The greatest "gift" to give to any child is to NOT bring them into this sick world in the first place! Seeing as how they never asked nor chose to be here to begin with! Just saying!
Baby Boomers and the Silent Generation definitely kept these types of secrets. Her mom more than likely is from those generations. If not, the very beginning of Gen X’rs group. But she was clearly raised with the mindset of those from the 1st two generations I named.
Adoptees are lied to all the time.
God😒 yes! we can as long as there is no proof 🙄 Here the mother had sex with a man from another race, so of course the truth will always get out🙄
I think it depends on the child
I know genotype is the truth, but her phenotype screams mixed heritage.
I agree with you. However, my son is black & his wife is white & my grandson has straight blonde hair & blue eyes...he did get a DNA, bcuz he had so many people online saying he was stupid & being played that there's no way he was the father...& he absolutely is the father. Now, I help raise my grandson, who's 5yrs old, & his personality is exactly like my sons...so I knew he had to be his but I'd be lying if I said there wasn't that tiny percent of doubt in me based upon his looks because I personally just have never seen a biracial child mixed with African American heritage that had straight hair, not just blonde hair. But I'm talkin not a curl or wave in sight. So my point is, with DNA, you just never know.
& I'll share this...My son was on the interstate bringing me his son before he went to work & had a wreck , a car hit him from behind...police were called & the officer kept questioning my son as to who's child he had with him & if he had any proof that he was his son...even asked him if he would have a problem giving him the mother of the child's name & phone # so that he could verify....my son was so upset I thought he's gonna lose his mind. But that should give u an indication of just how different & unique his looks are. Honey, if it wasn't mine I'd probably be looking at the situation as suspect myself. But when talking to family members who are in the medical field, one a physician & one a obgyn nurse practitioner, they said it happens more than we would think & honestly dk why it doesn't happen more often considering how DNA works...& how no child is guaranteed to get more of the fathers genes that shows up regardless what race the father is. But , makes you think ....honey half these evil people we got running around here that speak all that hatred & racism towards African Americans & Jews ...prob would be surprised to find what they find when doing a DNA test...in fact, I think it should be mandatory for all racists to be given one...😂😂😂...bet we would see a lot of folks losing they damn minds. Lol ...but God Bless you & your fam & hope you have a wonderful rest of the year.
She looks like a Louisiana Creole.
@@bluckyjones Exactly. Your experience is limited to you. Ask a geneticist. It’s probably not as rare as we’ve been led to believe
@@MiniM69 so true
Thank you for sharing your story. I just faced this revelation yesterday and I'm still spinning.
This is a great story. I have struggled with this since I was between 3 or 5 years old. My mom finally told me who my real dad was when I turned 50. She also informed me that she never planned to tell me. If I had a dad in my life I would've understood a little more but just not having anyone in my life was and continues to be hard now being 59. Many blessings to this young woman.
I have a similar story. My baby sister I found each other via DNA. I was 50 and she was 40. We’re so happy we’ve found each other.
i could have saved her that money lol but there's a doc called "Little White Lies" that tells this exact story
I've seen that doc, very good!
I agree. She totally looks like a woman who has genetic ties to Africa.
I saw that doc a few years ago, it was really well done. On a related note, I've heard several stories like this now. Home DNA tests have been revealing family secrets for quite a while now, to the point where there's an online support group for people who have been affected like this woman.
Where can I watch this documentary?
I just watched the trailer and it looks go good! Thx for the tip!
Awwwww..I'm so happy for her and how she can begin to heal and deal with the truths she has received!!! Blessings upon blessings upon blessings
I am very happy for you. Congratulations. I met my daughter’s biological dad when I was young in my country. He is from US. He left when I was expecting the first few weeks. He told me he will come back soon. I waited for him and he never came back and never wrote to me. I write to him and he didn’t answer. We came to US in 1972 when she was four years old. Three years ago, she took a DNA text and found her biological dad who lives in Florida. They called each other on and off for a few months. She was 50 then. He asked if she needed any financial help, she said she just wanted to know him. After a few months, he did not call or wanted to meet her. It has been like this for 3 or more years. I advised her to call him but she declined. It is a sad ending.
He is probably battling emotions of embarrassment, regret, sadness, excitement and not knowing how to handle the situation, all in one. Maybe his wife or family don't want him involved. It could be so many contributing factors. Keep trying, is my encouragement.
I pray that 1 day she realizes she didn't lose 1/2 of her identity. Rather she gained her true identity. Bless them and I'm happy they are building a true relationship.
If the man that raised her loved her and treated her like his other kids THAT IS HER DAD.
Yes, but he mother should have told her from a very young age that her father's black. Kids are very excepting and she would have grown up knowing she was mixed race instead of trying to pass her off as white.
Me and my sister are adopted as twins. We took a test ( we actually took multiple + a forensic one ), and it showed that we are half sisters !!
I went through a similar situation, albeit growing up in the ‘60s and 70s. I had been adopted to my BM’s family. I was able to find my birth father a year before he passed, searching for a couple of years - 55 years after I was born! I met my sister, cousin and found out about other relatives as well. To anyone wondering about doing this, all I can offer is that knowing is better than not knowing. You are not a mistake and you are loved. ❤
Hello 👋 Beautiful Lady 🌹... how are you doing today and how is your weather condition like?
Well said, Mary. God bless you for your encouraging words.
“BM’s family?”
@@mrflynn01 BM - Birth Mother
not always. had a cousin who found out he was adopted a year before he died. his birth parents were already dead. it upset him but there was nothing to gain in his knowing.i was shocked that nobody had told him. we knew for over 50 years but we assumed he knew.the way he found out was at his dads funeral my oldest brother mentioned it. we didn't visit much cause we had a dairy farm and they lived 100 miles away. he was actually my aunt's sisters baby that she had very young. my uncle not only raised him but also about a dozen foster kids who showed up at his funeral with their families. he was 92 when he passed.my uncle was a amazing man that gave millions to his church.
Almost the same thing happened to me. I found out at 15 that my dad was not my dad. My mother was pregnant when she married to my dad. I was never told who my real dad was. I went to ancestry and I found him. Unfortunately he had died. But I am getting to know my distant family. I waited to do this until after my dad who raised me had died.
Thank you so much for sharing this story.
Thank you so much for sharing and encouraging others as it is not a shame to be who you are. I do appreciate the father who raised.
There are so many Lisa’s out there, I could completely relate to everything she said.
So happy that this had a bright ending and that she was able to find out the truth and be welcomed into her family. I pray for her complete healing. God's Love and Blessings!
It's extremely traumatizing and alienating being a child who is othered by people around you as you grow up and continually have to explain your reason for existing. I know she will continue to find out who she is and find home within her family.
I've sat here and listen to her story and read the comments as I am moved to tears because I too have been suffering mentally of a similar topic which has indeed affected parts of my mental health. Hearing her and thanks to Tamron, you have given me a part of release however with still a deep yearning for knowing. I have isolated myself so much in life that it has become the norm and don't really have anybody I can talk to that gets it/ support. I'm going to try to reach out to a support group here in my city but this is plagued me for over 40 years.... Sorry
This sounds really tough. Finding a support group might be really great to help you deal with your history and these issues. All the best for you 💟
About 10 years ago , I found out I have a sibling my mother gave up for adoption at birth. My daughter was looking in to genealogy records and came across this, she tried asking my mother about when she had lived in and area. My mother lied and said she never live there. I had known she had lived in this place from the time I was a child, so for her to start lying now was out of character. She was adamant about hiding the truth. She is now in a nursing and taking the truth to the grave, she has alzheimers. I have a half-sister that she pushed away because she got pregnant when she was a teen. Lies do not promote trust. You can go beyond if you tell the truth. Be honest. Blessings to this family.
It is insane to me that "parents" don't feel as though kids have a right to know what their origins are!..I am going through a similar situation, and getting nowhere within "family"...smdh...it's despicable.
Yes it's so sad what parents make their children endure. I'm 72yrs old and my mother has refused to tell me who my father was. She's 92 yrs old and still of sound mind . As a result. I've never had a proper mother/daughter relationship..there's always been something missing ...
@@sandraking8945 ..I'm so sorry to hear that. I would think if something traumatic occurred around the child being conceived- that may be a reason for the parent to keep silent, for a time at least. However, when the child is of age and asking questions, you are owed and explanation.
Continue to hold on to hope. I get a feeling that one day you'll get closer to the truth and find your other relatives. You'll find them much sooner than you'd expect.
@@sandraking8945 what if you're a product of incest or rape. She's not telling you for a reason
@@TheQueenIsWithin Thank you dear friends I do keep the hope alive that one day before I leave this fading scene, I'll get closure on this matter
I think everyone should do their ancestry dna. We are all so much more than our melanin. This was a wonderful story, you now know where you belong. We had almost the exact same situation in our family. I’m so grateful that we had a happy ending. My brother in law didn’t and it’s bittersweet.
I can’t imagine what this feels like. I’ve had the complete opposite experience being my father’s clone but having a rocky relationship. Genes count for a lot more than we assume in these things. Glad she found a loving extended family!
Yes! My father and I were so alike we shouldn't ever have been in the same room - we just pushed each other's buttons. I definitely got my temper from his side.
Shame and guilt born out of lust and deception. Negative emotions the mother transferred to her daughter. This is really heavy. I’m glad the daughter was able to see the positive and realize there was some love there that created her too.
I’m confused about that part. How was she made out of love and not out of an affair? And how is it that her dad was having an affair with another woman, but her mom wasn’t having an affair? Is it where they were both with someone else, but fell in love with each other and conceived this young lady? If someone could clarify for me please. Thanks
@@blairmackenzie898 I wish I truly knew the full story, but from what I gathered, both her mother and biological father were married to other people when they had an affair with each other. Seems her mom’s husband was a bit of a nightmare and her mom found solace in another married man. That’s why I think she said she was conceived from love.
Love or lust! I'm just pleased her father prayed that prayer - a man willing to receive whatever children he may have fathered outside of his marriage.
@@rosahacketts1668 I must say, that’s a novelty. You usually hear men joke about not knowing if they have any kids out there. But he prayed for that knowledge. That’s truly wonderful. However, it did make me wonder why he prayed for that specifically in the first place. How many affairs did he have?
@@c-light7624 We don't know the whole story..My great uncle had a affair with a married woman he knew she had a baby ,but he wasn't told it was his until her husband died.
She should watch Little White Lies. Excellent movie about the exact same situation. You're beauty and spirit is not based on the false "race" we label ourselves
Agreed, excellent movie!!!
Loved the guest and her story. So uplifting, and she's so lucky that it worked out. As she said, sometimes it ends in more rejection or confusion.
Her mother had no right to do that to her daughter! She should have been honest when the daughter found out.
*Wow... That brought a tear to my eye. If you're Black and an older person it really hits, because it's coming from a different place based on our history, etc. Thousands of cases like this exist in the history of the world. She just happened to be light enough to "pass". What would have happened between the man who raised her and her mother had she come out DARK? Her mother was really taking a gamble! Just looking at her kid picture - that's a "Black" girl*
Watched a movie called Passing on Netflix last night. This is sad.
She looks black, but in this country, if people say you look white, they want you to be white, and will make any justification to keep you that, especially family.
Do you know how many black people looked at her down thru the years and knew? White people often seem kind of clueless about knowing ... But the pics of her as a little girl, I knew. Thank God for DNA. A lot of lies have been told. And every person born wants to know & deserves to know, where they came from.
Leslie H, I grew up wondering why I had aunts and uncles that were colored. After I grew up I researched my family and found colored from my paternal side and Native from my maternal side so I can claim blood from three races!
@@thomastolbert6184 you still say "colored"...
Wonderful Enlighten Story🙏🏼 THANK YOU 💎💙🦋
what an absolutely incredible story. Powerful because it diffuses shame.
My family ended up finding two siblings through Ancestry who we never knew existed. One of which lived less than a mile from me. The other who used to live in the same city as I do and my niece who I never knew existed would go to a church weekly, also less than a mile away from where I lived at the time 😩 Needless to say, our family has grown unexpectedly 😅
My brother has a different father he never met found out he had siblings just a block away and my have been in the same class at school.
@@therealz360z7 oh wow 😲
❤ ii ugh hi hi hi hi
My sister and I did 23&me for fun. Within 4 months I log on and see a 27 year old niece pop up. My sister and I have one brother. So we reached out to her. She was looking for her biological father! We did the math and figured out our brother had been stationed rear her home town where she was born. She’s so wonderful to know. It was by chance we all took the same test. My sister and I have since done a few other dna test out there in case our brother has any more kids he doesn’t know about.
You brother sounds like a real prince 🤔
I also found a 25 year old niece my brother didn’t know he had ! You gotta love these DNA tests
My oldest brother was a real scamp. He found out he had a daughter that he didn't know about until later, she got a hold of him somehow. Then later a man shows up on his doorstep and says he is his son. Turns out the man's mom never told him who his real dad was, but when she died his aunt told him because she didn't think it was right for him not to know the truth. It was a different mom from the daughter. As I said, my oldest brother was a scamp. We weren't surprised to find out he had unknown children.
@@tessmoore3762 I don't think "scamp" is really the right word for that kind of irresponsibility -- "enabler" is the right word for you, though
It's interesting to find out where you're from. Celebrate you!
I am so thankful we have the ability to scientifically prove who we are, who we come from and where. People being dishonest about one’s paternity inflict a level of pain that they may not comprehend. My mother lied on my birth certificate, claiming I was a child of a different man than I was. I had a horrific childhood that may have been much different if I was with my biological family. My mother had 5 kids, 5 different husbands and didn’t raise, take care of nor support any one of us. I am the only one who half way survived, my older brother has never been a productive member of society and is a mooch and a thief, my younger brother died of liver failure from alcoholism at 49, two younger sisters are both addicts that have been to jail and prison many many times, both who had children that were given or taken away. My siblings and I were completely failed by MANY adults, society, schools etc.
Forty odd years ago I worked with a guy whose wife had their third child. They both had medium brown hair as did their two other children. His hair had some wave and his wife's was straight with body. Their new baby had a head full of dark brown tight curls and dusty skin. Since he'd witnessed the birth he knew there was no baby switch. He was really quiet for weeks because everyone but him believed that she'd been unfaithful. (He and the new baby had the same blood type.) Finally her Grandma came forward with an 80 year old family secret about her own grandmother. Great great grandmother was a light colored black woman. The family had never spoken of it because she passed as Italian. Grandma came forward to save her granddaughter's good name. Great great grandma had some strong genes! Other than coloring and hair the baby looked like her daddy and has his nose and chin. A lot of people had to eat crow for gossiping.
Those ancestry test will dig up those family secrets. My family as well.
My brother and I got a shock after our father passed. The undertaker was going through things to organise the funeral. He said to mum, father ( our grand father ) unknown. We looked at mum, she said I will tell you after. Our father was conceived out of wedlock. We are talking 1920. A lot of things began to add up. But why did we have to find out this way. So sad. Much better to have told us when we were much younger, late teens or so. I don't hold any grudges. My brother would like to know who our grandfather is. I am not too concerned.
What mystery? As soon as I saw her face, I said, "Black is in her background".
Y’all kill me with the olive skin 😂
They live in the denial. 🤣😂🤣😂🤣
@Coco Butter 💯
Coco Butter, and wonder who came up with that terminology anyway. Whenever I hear people describe someone's skin color using the word "olive," I immediately get a pic of an olive in my mind, and an olive is either green or black. SMH!
Me 2 it’s crazy
Mediterranean
Maam, you definitely belong to our little Mixie Community! Welcome!!!
Great story. How do I find Ms Hall's blouse?! Love it!
I’m Black and immediately recognized her as Black. I’m surprised SHE was surprised just like many here stated. Wow!
You cannot recognize her as black because she's clearly nit, but mix with black. A black person wuthout admisture does not look like her.
She was told that as a child. Things like that stick with you. Its extremely easy to indoctrinate children and affect their entire life view. This isnt any different
She doesn't look black at all lol
Shame of the parents for hiding her true self that’s awful
No shame! They protected her to the best of their ability!
@@vanhughes Naw, That didn't need to happen in Washington DC. And actually this woman is not so old that biracial children were taboo. I can't stop laughing 🤣😭🤣
@@jaiyabyrd4177 Exactly! It isn’t the 1930’s
@@vanhughes You mean the Mother was protecting herself! She should have kept her legs closed 😂😂
@@mobutter2879 she didn’t abort her. She didn’t give her away. She kept her and didn’t have her “othered” by anyone. Things were not the same on a wide scale. A little insight and reasoning will lead to a different conclusion.
God bless you. I am very happy that you found out who you really are.
Love your show!
I think it's beyond pathetic that her mother hid this from her. If you didn't want a black biracial child, why get with a black man??? Lying to your kids is disgusting. Bottom line, nothing is wrong with being black. Looking at those pictures, you can tell something was different. Trying to pass her off as full white.... Wow.
I don't think that was the issue. It was more she was afraid of her husband who thought her daughter was his. Maybe he was abusive and maybe he was racist. Only after he became ill (and no longer a threat) did she not fear him and tell her daughter whom her father was.
@@peachygal4153 Yes, it was the issue. If not, why didn't any of the family members know that the daughter was biracial? Her stepdad, believe me, he wasn't stupid. He knew something was off, and I believe that's why he wanted to find out his heritage. Him saying something like that leads me to believe he needed to know as well. The mom was embarrassed that her daughter was half black.
It’s so easy to judge someone else past against them. It was difficult for the mother. Race is a man made concept. It’s not a real thing. It’s a social construct that we build a world around. She wasn’t rejected, she was protected.
@@vanhughes please stop with the gas lighting.
Her mother gave birth to her and loved her. That's what I see period,and with that she found more love. Sometimes we have to stop judging life. Blessing to her in the future.
Huh? Hispanic, Middle Eastern, Hawaiian...??? Very interesting take by those onlookers. You looked like a beautiful Black woman to me before I even watched the vid. Most of us can tell right away w/out even knowing the person. What a beautiful, heart-touching story. God bless you!
She's mixed --not black. To call her black is racist!
@@deangreen8110Who told you that? That it's racist to call a Biracial person Black? She's only half Black, but almost all Biracial people take no issue with being called Black, they tend to identity with that side of their heritage much more deeply.
She’s not beautiful, she’s actually weird looking🥴🦷
She looks like my aunt and we are from South America...Everyone tends to see in others what you are familiar with.
She look Mexican not black . Black people stop gene 🧬 claiming everybody !!!
Mine wasn't a happy ending but yours being happy makes me happier. It took me a long time to come to terms and heal but I did! I'm Traci ❤️
My mother came from the deep south and was very prejudiced. When I took a DNA test it revealed that I have a small amount of Nigerian DNA and a small amount of North African DNA. Having done my family history it didn't surprise me as there were several of my mothers ancestors who had plantations with lots of slaves. So now I find myself wondering which one of my ancestral grandmothers doesn't belong on my family tree. And if I'm descended from my ancestral grandfather or one of his male relatives. It's a question that I don't expect to be able to answer, but it would be interesting to know. And, of course I don't anticipate being able to discover who my black ancestors are either. It would be nice to know who they were and where exactly they came from. As I understand it, it was not uncommon for the males in a family of some plantation owners to impregnate the female slaves in order to increase the value of their "property".
Stevie Wonder could see that she’s not just white.
some people cling to lies
...child ...PLEASE !!! 🍾 🥂 🍾 🥂 🍾 🥂...I 👀 👀 I watched 48 seconds of this 📹 video and saw your hair and knew you were ⚫️ BLACK ⚫️ I am glad that you are no longer in denial. You are a beautiful woman and I hope that you find peace & grow comfortable with your identity .
Cheating is a real problem now a days ।Seriously
Nowadays??? This girl wasn't born yesterday. Cheating has been going on since people....
I love Tamrons hair here ! It’s suits her wonderfully.
I'm still stuck on the age 41? she looks crazy young. Thanks for sharing your story Lisa. Cheers Everybody. Be well.
She looks younger because of her black genes...Black don't crack!😅🤣
@@TheBiblicalDreamInterpreter I clicked to say exactly this! 🤣
Lol. It's not 1980. Most 41 year-olds look like this, unless they completely let themselves go. Your face really shouldn't look much different than your early 30s if you're under 45. At 45, it becomes more noticeable who has bad genes for aging.
I get late 20s a lot. Lisa and I are the same age.
@@emem2863 no they don’t. They really don’t.
Honestly, before even clicking on the clip, I knew from the screenshot that she was mixed with black. Her childhood photos demomstrate that even more clearly. It's surprising that she did not think she was mixed. Either way, I'm sorry that she had to experience the betrayal from her mother.