12 Ways to Write Better Sentences for Creative Writers
2024 ж. 14 Мам.
547 112 Рет қаралды
12 Tips for Writing Better Sentences as a Creative Writer:
1. Avoid confusingly complex sentences
2. Set the Tone with word choices
3. Avoid passive voice
4. Remove Filtering
5. Set the pace with sentence length
6. Avoid body parts taking action
7. Reduce "was -ing" construction
8. Keep the wording natural
9. Cut unnecessary similes
10. Use vocabulary level strategically
11. Avoid starting actions
12. Cut out unnecessary words
The Hemmingway Editor: hemingwayapp.com/
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I'm an older man who grew up reading mostly 19th century authors. I've struggled to understand why my writing voice felt so unnatural and formal. Your tips opened my eyes. Thank you.
Same
From personal experience, having once or twice magic mushroom “trip” greatly helps to make a speedy mental transfer into the new century.
Same! read almost entirely pre-20th century authors for the first 20 years of my life, now finding it quite difficult to break out of the wordy, overly formal style.
but why do we have to avoid this?@@maryk5375
Hah! I was [remain] a Henry James enthusiast - understand the problem. Reading contemporary plays (especially Mamet) cured me. Hemingway's work trains sentence structure too [I've never heard of the Hemingway editor / app]. Great vlog Ellen Brock!
I don't understand almost anything you say but I try to watch your videos almost every day to learn English. I send you a virtual hug from Argentina ♥
I live in America. The country is so large, many places only have English speakers for hundreds of miles. I live in one of those places. Learning a new language is something I really want to do, and seeing someone learn my language inspires me! Good luck! :)
You write well.
"When in doubt, cut it out" is a motto that has saved me more times than I'd like to admit. If I re-read my work and feel that a sentence is too complex, I cut it out and rewrite it in a simpler way.
I tried this with my bad sentences. Ended up with a blank page.
The filtering aspect is one I always struggle with and something I have to edit out later (when I remember to).
Thankfully that’s what drafts are for.
me too because the narrator isn't necessarily narrating only the main character's POV, so when it's a direct thought the MC has, i like to point it out
@@Terik17 That's a tricky balance to strike that doesn't get talked about much. More literary works really don't have much of the character's direct POV and the more genre stories are much heavier in it. I find amateurs tend to use character POV narration far too heavily. MC direct thoughts are something I used to use way too much and had to minimize. It's not a bad thing, but it doesn't play well for readers in most instances unless the story is really focused in that way.
Because the mind thinks in filters
@@MST3Killa So you write your stories with actions mostly? Actions, descriptions, and dialog mainly?
In all my years writing and consuming writing content, never have I heard passive vs active voice explained so succinctly. Maybe I have, but it finally made sense where as every other explanation had failed. "Is the subject performing the action?" It's so good. Thank you as always for your great work.
So glad the video helped!
A funny tip that helps me identify it is to add 'by zombies' at the end of the sentence. If it makes grammatical sense, it's passive voice. 'the kettle was poured...by zombies'. Vs. X poured the kettle. Adding 'X poured the kettle... by zombies' doesn't make any sense. I think I found this tip on Reddit and it's helped me a few times now.
Cool! Thanks for sharing!
@@KanadaJin oh thank you so much! that actually helps a lot! Haha and it's kind of cute as well
@@EllenBrock thank you very much, this video was indeed really helpful and I will come back to it!
Love the tip about avoiding unnecessarily complex sentences. It's easy to write a bad sentence if you force that sentence to do too much
I’am a Peruvian filmmaker and scriptwriter. I have started to write a novel picking up a script of mine. I am going thru hell. You can’t imagen dear Ellen how useful and illustrative your videos are!! I thank you so much!!
Hi guys! I forgot to wait for the HD to finish processing before I published the video, so if it looks blurry to you, just wait about a half hour before watching. Also, typo at 16:48. It should be "set" not "sat." Sorry! I checked my cards a dozen times, but I always manage to miss something. Dang long covid brain fog! Thanks for watching and for your support!
The content can't be delayed. Blurry or not!
So very helpful to go through all of your tips and videos. Editing is hard work.
No worries! You take care!
Another brilliant, essential video. Thank you 😊
#13: watch out for typos! :)
Guilty of all 12. It took me over 10 years to break most of these habits, but old habits die hard. What I've found useful is whenever I use a starting action, like in the example you shared: "Elizabeth started to laugh." I find a starting action helps when you want to have it interrupted by a character. "Elizabeth started to laugh... until John gave her a death stare. Then it wasn't funny." I also wholeheartedly agree on cutting unnecessary words. In one sentence it's not a big deal and is easily forgivable. In a 90,000 page novel the work feels bloated for no reason. If a word is going to be included, it should be a detail with a specific purpose. When I had to write a tribute to someone who had passed, I used a sentence: "And taught her daughter how to calculate sales prices at Dunham's." I could have just said and "calculate sales prices." The sentence can survive on its own. But I added Dunham's so the people local to the area might remember the time period when that store existed. I would have left Dunham's out if it had been a generic chain like Wal Mart. But because this particular Dunham's was a specific store during a specific time period, I added the detail for those who remembered the store. Since I manage a website, I also found using a plugin called Yoast SEO helped improve my writing significantly because it has tools to identify passive voice and wordy sentences. It's mainly geared towards marketing articles and website traffic, but I find it's also useful for improving your own writing style when you force yourself to be more concise. Great video, I also love the graphic and font selection. Very easy to read and extremely educational.
You may want to look up the word concise.
Yikes. I was just about to comment that instead of "creative writers" this title should say "novice writers", as these tips are all very basic.
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Giving examples after every suggestion was the best choice you made in this video. It made a significant difference for me. I'm dyslexic and I'm trying to improve my writing ability as I tend to write on the messy side. This was excellent and thank you doesn't feel enough!
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As a not native english speaker, -ing verbs vs the past conjugation of the same have total different meaning. "She was walking" is she doing the action. "She walked" is already finished. Also, as someone with pretty high aphantasia, I think I experience the writing and reading completely different as someone that can visualize normally: "Yes," she said, walking. // She walked. "Yes." // "Yes." She walked. // Each is 100% different to me.
From an applied linguist's/ language teacher's perspective": I agree with you completely. Those constructions are the simple and progressive aspects and indicate actions either being habitual (simple) or unfinished (progressive). The simple aspect (I write) is also often used in narrative writing for actions happening in the narrative's "now", for example "I put my teacup down and pick up my pen". It's one of the peculiarities of narrative tenses.
@@alexengland-shinemercy thanks! I thought it was just me 🙌🏻
From someone with vivid imagination, yes, all those 3 are different to me. I think it has less to do with visualising it and more to do with breaking down the action in a detailed way.
In English, the phrase "was walking" ALSO describes something that occurred IN THE PAST: "was" is past-tense. Definition: "first and third person singular past indicative of be". So in third person narrative it is infinitely better to use the *active* verb "walked" than the *passive* "was walking" in probably at least 99% of cases.
Walking is not the past tense verb in your first example, "was" is, but they are both past tense meaning you can just write the simpler sentence. Lots of readers will have a harder time visualizing the world when you use filter words like "was" instead of just writing what's happened in the story
If “disconsolate” is a ninth grade word I’m in big trouble.
Yep, same 😃🤧
Excellent rundown. Professional (nonfiction) editor myself and I'm still guilty of some of these. A tip I've given some of the writers I work with (especially ESL): If you're worried a sentence is getting into run-on territory, read it out loud under your breath at a normal pace. If you find yourself wheezing by the end, split the sentence roughly where you started running out of breath. Punctuation is meant to replicate on paper the pauses we naturally take when speaking. Also, could I possibly request a video about how to jot down the first page or two of a novel? Not just the opening plot beat, but literally the first few hundred words. Do you have any advice as to how to get past those first few paragraphs/how to make them count?
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nice tip :)
Great process for a run-on sentence! Maybe you could write the beginning later in your writing process. Some recommend this for content blog writing.
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I am a begginer so take this with a gracious grain of salt but i can give you a technice that worked for me with writing chapters and filling that dreaded blank page. Set a timer for 5-15 minutes and write without a paus untill it rings. Dont pay attention to finding the right word repetition or using cliche similies or anything like that, just write. I find that once you have something in front of you it becomes much easier to write. If you write something later in the chapter that you think would work better you can always change it later. This only works if you alredy have a vague idea about what do you want to have happen in that chapter and it can be hard jumping straigh into it. I usualy go for a walk and listen to music befor doing this because that helps me relax and get into the mood for writting. I hope i could help. Have a great day.
Passive voice has been a struggle for years. A whole editing pass is needed to get that out of my writing…🙃 You can also hit “smelled” and “tasted” with other verbs. “The stench of aged garbage assaulted Jim as he rounded the alley corner” or “the luxurious sweetness of the berry juice coated Joira’s mouth. It lingered. A moment later, but a moment too late, Joira noticed the background bitterness of the arsenic.”
I truly appreciate how clear your examples are. A lot of writing advice doesn't come with clear examples or information on how to improve specifically, but your advice is fantastic!
Passive voice can be really useful for creating tension, subtext or being efficient with words, particularly when it leaves out the person doing the action altogether. This can be because we don't know who did something: 'The jewels were stolen sometime before dawn.' Or don't want to say (eg avoiding blame): 'Dad, your favourite mug got broken!' Or we're building suspense: 'The door had been left ajar. Voices were hushed as she called out, "Hello?". Or it's just not necessary to say who did it: 'The house was painted a flat, dismal grey that matched the rain-filled sky.' It's a really powerful tool that we often don't notice we're using, so not always bad or a 'no'. 🙂
Yeah I think we're forgetting to emphasize that despite avoiding these techniques, we shouldn't necessarily remove them all together.
Absolutely 🎉❤ know the rules, to break them when you want to 😊
i've been removing filter words for a years now and it's SUCH an incredible way to strengthen the connection to the character's POV. another tip would be removing "filler" type words like just, really, very, kind of, etc. or whatever kind of common word you use a lot that could be removed for the same meaning, or replaced with a more specific word. i never considered how vocab choice could change the reading speed, that's very cool! also i found your example sentence "he ran across the yard like a soccer player running for the ball" very funny for some reason. thanks for another great video!
I often try to remove very and really and I just can't!
i like using really tho. especially when im writing from the point of view of a young character. i feel like thats closer to how they speak.
Can you give some examples of removing filter words from first person POV? Please :) I struggle with just changing "I" to "my"
@@megbennett107 filter words are extra verbs like thinks/wonders/sees/looks/feels etc that add an extra layer between what the character is experiencing, making it feel less immediate to the reader. ex. "I see him walk outside." without filter words, it's "He walks outside." or "I hear music playing" turns into "Music fills the room." or instead of "I think that my mom's gonna be mad if I'm late." you can write "My mom's gonna be mad if I'm late." or even better "My mom's gonna kill me if I'm late again." a lot of the time, we don't need to be told that the character is experiencing a sense or a feeling--just write the experience, without the filter of narration. hope that helps!
@@Katranga thank you so much! So if I understand correctly, filtering refers to more verbs of the senses, so if I said "I stood on the sidewalk" I wouldn't necessarily need to filter it to "The sidewalk was under me"? I have a habit of changing "I" to "my" when I try to filter, but is filtering used for sentences with actions in them too or mostly just feelings/senses? Thank you, Kat!!!
Thanks Ellen! You do such a good job of 1) giving "best practices" 2) pointing out specific times where exceptions may apply, and 3) acknowledging that the sound and flow of the writing and what the author wants to accomplish trumps all =) Thanks for another informative video!
I also feel (hehehe), that in case of filtering, removing the "unnecessary" ones can help adding weight to the places where you do want to use "felt", "saw" or "realized" etc because the feeling or realizing was the relevant part. If every other sentence is dotted with the filtering words, then there is no difference.
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During the early years of my education, I was embarrassed by my writing, but as I matured and became less sensitive, I learned to read what I had written out loud. That made all the difference, and many errors were avoided.
I was embarrassed by my writing at first but later read my writing out loud. By that one act I avoided many errors. - There, that's better. Reduce redundancy and use the active voice.
Why have I never heard of Hemmingway Editor before?! This is gold! Thanks for the recommendation, and for all your tips! They're things that I (generally) knew already, but sometimes forget in the heat of writing. Definitely a great guide for what should be on a sentence-level "cheat sheet" for an editing pass.
Also check out Grammarly and Pro-Writing Aid. All three are very good on-line editing apps, which come with free versions. I use all of them at times, for different 'looks'.
Thank you, thank you! This is the most helpful video on writing I’ve ever watched. Your advice is actionable and the examples you provided really helped solidify the concepts you discuss. I’m such a visual learner so it was great to see things laid out so clearly and plainly.
I follow most of these tips already, but I've never considered my use of -ing words. A glance at the first few pages of my latest story, made me realize I can do better. Thank you, Ellen! A great video with excellent examples as always.
The examples are so helpful. They take the point out of the abstract and make it concrete and more easily understandable. Wish all writing advice was like this.
21:30 I'd like to add something about Vocabulary that I learned on test readings. Using a term correctly can lead to confusion if the reader doesn't have the same understanding of that word. It's interesting that now it's trivial to look up unfamiliar words immediately, before going on with the next sentence. When I first read the original Sherlock Holmes stories, I wrote down words to look up later. Now, reading on a tablet or e-paper reader, I can point to a word and get a definition (or translation) instantly. This should remove the barrier toward using a higher vocabulary or highly specific terminology, pushing some readers to learn, and not talking down to those already more familiar with the subject.
Yes, and some writers seem to be doing that on purpose, putting one or two rarer words in a chapter instead of using the simpler word that means the same thing. But you really need to be careful about that, I've also seen writers putting in lots of rare words in a chapter, like one or two per sentence. And at that point, you get so pulled out of the story that you feel you might as well read a text book, it'd be both more efficient and enjoyable. I gave up on chapter one of a story for a similar reason, every item mentioned was described by brand name instead of what it was. I'm not a wine connoisseur, nor do I know high fashion, and so on. Having to choose between looking up every new brand or just guessing what is inside a cabinet when it's written as "a Lenox Madeira." It's the same problem but with brand-awareness instead.
I usually resort to my dictionaries because the writer used what appears to be the wrong word, according to the context. But maybe it was meant that way, which leads me to read other writers' work instead of patronizing the same would-be author.
Thank you for the examples in your video! Watching this video not only gave me insight, it helped me with the imposter syndrome issues I've had recently. I also loved the differences between third grade and ninth grade novels. The examples hit home better than reading technical editing books. Thanks again!
Thank you Ellen! Especially for the vivid examples and compromised explanations - great video!
This was really helpful! The way you explain things so effortlessly and easy to grasp! Active and passive voice! Wow!
wow this all makes a looot of sense.. thank you for being so gentle in the way you conveyed it too.
Great tips! I need to work on my novel and now I have a clear idea on what makes a great sentence. Thank you Ellen.
This video definitely made me rethinking about how I have been writing my sentences. I appreciate how Ellen was able to give examples of strong sentences vs weak sentences.
This is genuinely the best video I’ve seen. I love the proper examples on screen!
Fantastic. This is so good. I could listen to these all day. Super helpful.
This video is nicely put together. Clear and precise. And great tips entailing examples. Thanks. .
Just found you - thought this was one of the best easy to understand videos I’ve heard. Looking forward to hearing your others.
I just want to say, you've done the best job explaining everything in this video than anyone else I've seen. Plus your voice is so easy to listen to. I just subscribed and plan on playing catch up with your videos over time! :)
This was extremely helpful. I’m a newer writer so the in-depth examples and description was Mitch needed. Thank you 🙏
Thank you for another helpful video. I knew some of these but others I haven't heard explained so well.
Incredibly helpful content. Thank you for the clear examples and explanations. I can already see my writing improving with this advice.
I really love that you use examples when giving tips. I truly enjoyed this video. Thanks a lot!❤
All the line level tips I needed in one video. I'll be sharing this with my CP's.
I'm glad you mentioned filtering in this video. I use filtering a lot in my writing, but I never knew there was a name for it! These tips for avoiding filtering were very useful to me! I think we as writers tend to underestimate how smart our readers are! I, personally, find the need to add on those extra words to clarify, but if you think of yourself reading something with fresh eyes, you can infer many things without the add-ons included. Thanks for the video!
This is possibly the best video I've seen on sentence writing (or even writing in general) Incredible. So helpful, thank you!
This video would be a great addition to most Jr/Sr High writing classes. Well done, Ellen.
This is such a great list. I love your explanations... especially of passive voice.
this is one of the best writing technique videos I've ever watched. Thanks!!!
Wow - so many of these are game changers! Thanks for breaking them down so clearly!
Your ability to relay information quickly and straight to the point, while also being super thorough is something I am so thankful for! Thank you for sharing these amazing tips that are most definitely helping so many authors achieve their dreams of writing and publishing one day!!
This is, without a doubt, the best writing tips video I've seen so far. I've seen dozens, perhaps hundreds at this point. And yet, this has proposed a set of simple, common, and fatal issues and mistakes, then presented a coherent explanation and provided fluid examples. Thank you very much!
Agreed!!!
Great video! I'm a screenwriter and essayist and this video helped me see some major challenges I have been facing. Thank you!
Ellen, as always, you are super helpful. I hadn't thought filter words were that deep. Now I'm looking at my own writing going "Uh oh!" Thank you for real in depth writing advice.
I have never come across filtering as a literary concept but as soon as you explained this is clicked! This has been one of my biggest issues with my own writing I just couldn’t put my finger on it. Thank you!
I just found your channel and I can’t love it more!!! English is not my mother tongue but, anyway, your tips are incredibly helpful and I enjoy listening to your explanations. Thanks so much!!
Extremely valuable points, particularly for largely self-taught writers. Thank you.
I cannot put into words how helpful this video is! People need to see it. 👏👏
This was extremely helpful! Thanks for keeping it simple and easy to comprehend!
Thank you so much for your videos! I'm writing more of a mindset and how-to book to help people begin homesteading, but I'm reviewing my communication and how I deliver a message. I can be spunky and firey, and I want to convey my personality without burning or scaring off my audience. Ultimately, I want my message to be received, and your videos are helping me to refine my style of communication. I appreciate you!
Wow! What a great video. I just threw this on and viewed it as a reader, not a writer, and appreciated the content. Thank you. Great job.
Probably one of the very best writing guides I've seen & heard. So precise and succinctly explained with excellent do/don't do examples. Also very, very thorough. Superb Ellen, thank you.
Just love this video. From time to time I come here to refresh my memory about those tips! Tks a million!
Fantastic lesson with great examples. Saving this to my writing folder.
Hello!!! This is a great video filled with excellent examples of writing problems along with clear examples and instructions for improvements. Thank you.
Great tips! I think I'm gonna look extra close for these during my last edit of my WIP. The Hemingway Editor is also one of my favorite tools to check the pacing and flow of my stories. I always use it while doing finishing touches (deleting filter words) and using my text-to-speech naturalreader.
Awesome video. I've been writing for over fifteen years and made a few of these mistakes. Especially the 'started to' and 'began to.' Thanks.
Ellen, you're a gem. Thanks for your insights and lessons.
This is excellent and very helpful, Ellen. I appreciate your disclaimers regarding style choices. With Historical Fiction, it's challenging to find the right balance when creating a period feel. It's easy to slip into the heavy verbiage from the classics. I read a current novel that was so full of unnecessary similes and metaphors I skimmed to the end. The story took place in the 1800s and every other thing was 'like' something modern or far outside the POV character's world. Totally blasted me out of the story. Over and over again. I remembered your old video where you read bad metaphors/similes from your own writing. :)
I just loved it! Definitely I needed to simplify my writing! Thanks a lot!
Thank you! Amazing video, thanks for helping all of us!
Thank you! This really helped me to be more aware of some mistakes that I make in my writing. And it is great that you gave specific examples for each one. 👍
Just found you. Great info that’s well delivered!!! I have on 2 books in the works. I know I have some corrections to make in areas that didn’t flow. Now I know why. Thank you. Please keep it coming.
I had no idea that filtering was called filtering XD Thank you so much for explaining this!!! I didn’t understand why my story didn’t sound as immersive. I finally understand that I have to remove the character feeling these things to just having these things exist on their own for the character and reader to feel!!!
I found your channel just now through this video and I am hooked! I am in love with your content. It is very very helpful. Thank you so much!
Thank you, Ellen. Well done and extremely helpful. Merry Christmas!
Excellent specific but relatively uncommon and useful information. Keep it up.
I tried the Hemingway app and found it really useful. I didn’t realize how complex my sentences were and this really helped me tighten them up. The passive voice in one chapter I struggled with as the protagonist was reminiscing, but I suppose it’s ok in this case. I was worried that I was doing it wrong. Great tips, and video, thanks so much ❤
Thank you so much for sharing. So glad I found your channel!
I've been following your channel for years, and have to say, your content is GOLD DUST.
i'm excited for the paragraph video, it feels like few people talk about structuring paragraphs.
These are the most helpful tips I’ve seen!! Thank you so much :)
i love how you provide examples with each tip
First time watching your videos. First time sitting down to remember or relearn how to write and everything you said was awesome and understandable. Great video. Thank you.
Such a great video with so many helpful tips. Thanks so much!
Thank you for conveying clarity, this video was easy to watch
This was so helpful! I'll definitely be coming back to this video.
I have watched this video six times and for me, it's been one of the most important videos That I've watched. I have typed up the principles into a document that guides my editing processing. So, thank you.
Thank you! I really enjoyed your video. You explain things so clearly and engagingly. My writing is often too wordy, so all your tips are very useful for me.
Just wanted to say thank you for this video, it was so helpful and well made! 😊
Great advice. It was easy to understand and extremely relevant. Thank you.
I took your 'was -ing' tip and discovered an infestation of them in my writing. Probably the best insight to come my way in years - thanks!
This video was so thorough and helpful. Thank you!
Thank you so much for this! I've felt something "off" with my writing recently, and I realised that I've been using a lot of filtering words which was really holding me back.
An amazingly dense and pragmatic set of tips. Have to admit, I was dubious when I saw the bold video title. :) For me, the section on filtering was the most pertinent as it's an easy trap to fall into when a book encompasses many POVs, as mine do.Thanks very much!
Some great tips. Thanks so much. Makes so much sense.
Thanks for this video. It pinned down a lot of issues I had.
This a very informative video!!! It is exact things I want to learn but can't learn from "The element of style" as a non-native English learner. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you, Ellen! It’s always a joy listening to your explanations and examples and your videos have developed over time and are so exquisite! I‘ll never get tired of your advice. And besides, as one of your patreons, I know you‘re also a wonderful person so again: Thank Thank Thank you!
You are so welcome. Thanks for your support!
I never even realised how much filtering I was subconsciously putting into my writing, until I watched this. A real Eureka moment, this will help bigtime with my redrafting, thank you!
Thank you so much for this video. In the middle of editing my first draft and this was just what I needed :)
The Hemingway Editor. Thank you for that! This video blew me away. Very well done. Your explanations and examples helped me tremendously.
Thank you for your tips! As someone who writes business communications, these tips are helpful, too.