Dialogue Mistakes New Writers Make ❌ Avoid These Cringeworthy Cliches!!
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Are you struggling to make your dialogue feel realistic and emotional? Do you find your characters saying exactly what they're feeling, which makes the dialogue flat and dry and predictable? Do feel like all your characters sound the same, lacking distinct voices and personalities? If so, today's video is for you. We’re going to explore the DO’s and DON’Ts of writing dialogue-cringeworthy mistakes that many writers make and how to avoid these pitfalls so that your dialogue will feel fresh, engaging, and truly dynamite!
Comment below and tell me: What is your favorite example of well-written dialogue?
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✨ T I M E S T A M P S ✨
00:00 What's the secret to good dialogue?
01:52 DON'T make your characters say exactly what they're feeling
04:15 Bad example (dialogue with conflict dumping)
05:36 DO use subtext to show your characters' emotions
07:05 Good example (dialogue with subtext)
09:02 DON'T make all your characters sound the same
10:14 DO give your characters distinct voices
10:40 Come to my live training! (link in description)
12:41 DON'T overuse description in dialogue tags
13:53 Bad example (dialogue tags)
16:40 DO keep your dialogue fast-paced and to the point
17:14 Good example (dialogue tags)
19:12 Want to take your dialogue to the next level?
20:11 Subscribe for more writing videos :)
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Your books are amazing and you are one of my favorite authors!! These videos teach me to improve my writing skills!! Thank you!
How do you show and convey to the audience that your protagonist is introverted? I need to figure this out for my novel I am working on
@@unicorntomboy9736 Well is your book in first person point view? That helps me a lot with my characters internal conflict. It digs deep into your characters feelings, thoughts and ideas.
@@unicorntomboy9736you already know the answer. Show not tell. Which means to make them act introverted For eg:- reject invitations to anywhere outdoors. Do not communicate much, no communication to new people Hell go nuts and make them semi introverted like acts cool when with people they know but when a person outside the circle joins they head inside their shell like a turtle. Etc etc search google introverted personality characteristics etc Hell one of the biggest examples is eleven in last season of stranger things kind of i think or is it cus she's shy and didnt have much human interaction in her younger days
@@loveheartstopperforeva No, it's intended to be in third person pov
@@unicorntomboy9736 Do you want to write better internal conflict in third person pov?
I have an issue with critiques like “people don’t talk like this” because people are far too diverse and interesting for that to be true and some people are just weird. Chances are there’s someone out there that does talk like that. “That character wouldn’t say that”, however, that’s a real problem…
I super agree! People really need to stop acting like they know everyone's lived experience.
It's not about exceptions. It's more about writing something that's not dogshit obnoxious to read and it's logical to the context of the scene.
Yes, each person has their own way to talk, but she's really tagging the beginner writing. I remember reading a lot of texts from beginners, and ALL THE CHARACTERS would always say exactly what they were feeling. I think that's what she was talking about when she said "people don't talk like this".
@@hyunniewan350 I was purely commenting on the specific argument “people don’t talk like that”. Every character speaking with the same voice is a different complaint, and like the one I acknowledged above (that character wouldn’t say that) is a perfectly valid criticism.
@@chrispalmer7893 yeah!
To avoid conflict dumping it's like "Don't write your dialogue as if your characters have Wonder Woman's Lasso of Truth around their necks." 🤣
Brilliant example!
as someone who literally wrote a fanfic involve Wonder Woman's Lasso of Truth... this is a mood
BAD EXAMPLE: I am sad. That made me mad. That really made me happy. I am super scared now. I am too worried about it. INSTEAD MAKE THEM INFER BY NON-STRAIGHTFORWARD DIALOG. EXAMPLE: my feet felt heavy. I had butterflies. I felt like I wanted to be swallowed whole. I felt as if I had music in my head. I feel like I’m going to pop.
@@8QueenArt8I think it should have a balance, one can be pretty bland and the other might come off as overly flowery, I'd interchange.
@8QueenArt8 I'm not poetic, I'm gonna think that character has butterflies when they say "I have butterflies"
I am SO guilty of the last one! I've even given it a name for when it crops up in my writing - 'Thunderbird Puppet Syndrome.' It's where they're all doing so much nodding, eyebrow-raising, side-smiles, hand-waving, frowns, wide eyes, etc. that they just end up looking like Thunderbird puppets bobbing around. Action beats are my crack cocaine, but at least now I'm more aware of it. 🙂
Oh yeah, and then it would be like: "Kent, I know you cheated on the test." Violet said, a small smile on her face. Kent's eyes widened, just for a minute, until he forced himself into a calm expression. "What do you mean? I didn't cheat." He laughed with a clearly forced laugh. Violet shook her head. "I found the paper Kent. You cheated." Kent's eyes were wide. "That's.. I.." He closed his eyes, shaking his head. Yeah, it sucks when that happens, I feel like my characters are like robots then, programmed to do the few movements lol
yep... I'm definetly really bad at that too
@@RedpurrFox uurrgghhh, I have *actually written whole scenes that look like that!* [Buries face in keyboard from shame.]
@@Maerahn I wrote fanfictions like that in the past. They were short and crappy with tons of grammar mistakes, oh how painful it was to read
@@Maerahncookie [kicks a child]
Nothing takes me out of a story faster than when a character narrates their inner thoughts out loud 😬 Great video, Abby!
What about journal format?
@@davescave7267 Obviously that's a little different, but like Abby said the language can be played with in such a way that the character says more in what they don't say, even if it's a journal.
What about when it’s a quirk to that specific character (mirroring an IRL person who has a bad habit of talking to themselves or their pets when no one else is around?). Basically it’s part of their individual character voice (but not something the other characters do). I confess I’ve always chuckled when running into a character like that (in book or film). “I feel seen!” 🤪. (Admittedly, it’s more of an internal monologue than a dialogue…)
@@rivendells_shona Even then there are ways to do it that won't feel artificial. What bothers me is when a character too self-aware that they know every little thing about themselves. It's one thing to talk to a pet about your day; it's a whole other thing to narrate to your pet like the title crawl in Star Wars 😅
like in a soap opera
My biggest dialogue mistake: Spending 2 years plotting without drafting a single line of dialogue. Because: fear No other dialogue mistakes! But my characters might as well be fish.
🐟🐟🐟 This comment really made me smile!
I do that too! But i just stare at the blank page,write something and then erase it😅
The best way to not make a mistake is to never try doing it. 😎
🐟🐟🐟🐟
Haha! Can’t make a dialog mistake if you done write 😂
In regard to the dialogue tags, the important thing is to keep it dynamic and interesting. It isn't 'boring description' if it is action, or building suspense, or is serving a purpose to the scene. If someone pulls out a gun, or shoves someone in the middle of the conversation, those are things you definitely you want to describe. You can also create a very tense situation even with slow paced scenes with a lot of description. Like if you know a person has a gun, and they keep sliding their hands down under the table during the scene, and you draw attention to that. The main thing here is, it needs a purpose and it should be interesting.
POV and tense play a role too. Sure, you could write them identically, but depending on the narrator, a past tense pov is not going to recall all the events as fondly as a present moment-moment narrator. And the key is that “moment-moment” working and doing its job. One thing that does fail to engage me in material I've read is when its a white room syndrome and there is no description-only dialogue. And what can kill it if its too slow is just taking the describe every pointless detail. Start removing those, but keep what matters so you can still visualize it, and don't forget setting plays an important role to describe too. Every example mentioned in Abbey's video here makes this mistake-where is Violet and Kent? Simple things like this as a scene plays out being added still makes it "punchy", if not moreso if there's subtext and nuance to it, too. Maybe the room is darkly lit? Maybe the light flickers at a certain point in the conversation? How does the lighting flicker over one's face(which film pays attention to in darker moods)? These are the kinds of details that should still be included in a scene.
Fun fact but it’s actually an annoying fact: Today I had French class and the teacher was talking about how to make stories and in the texts it said and she said “In stories there’s 2 characters, good guys who only have qualities and bad guys who only have flaws” LIKE OMG NOOOOOOOOOO I wanted to raise my hand and argue with her but I didn’t have the courage to and I was so mad like WTH if the protagonists have no flaws then THERE WOULD BE NO STORY
HELP WHAT KIND OF WRITING ADVICE IS THAT?!?!?
Thats writing advice if you're an Ancient writer making an epic
Flaws = Qualities
I'm curious if it was a French Language learning class, where the upcoming assignment was to write a story while you're learning French Or was it more literary analysis and writing focused?
Ask her to explain Vilette, then. Or Les Miserables, or The Hunchback of Notre Dame. All of those books have complex characters.
As an autistic adult, I find clear dialogue with proper grammar to be soothing and comforting. I find "Hidden Feelings Talk" raises my anxiety. I usually don't want to GUESS what characters are thinking. It seems "natural and realistic" doesn't mean "Will connect with everybody". People are different, and some peoples' brains are wired differently. 🤷🏾♂️
W
Same! My favorite books usually have a major character who is super analytical and/or an oversharer who lacks the ability to read between the lines. I’m getting better at inferring things in writing but I’d rather my characters just tell me. They don’t have to speak like a licensed therapist to not speak in riddles lol
@@lajourdanne Seconded!
I also have ASD though I find humans fascinating. So I really found my hyperfocus on subtext, psychology, sociology, and religion. To me they all go hand in hand. I can understand how stupid subtext and non verbal language can be and is at times bur I find the world becomes so much more expressive when its included.
For real. “We often don’t say what we want to say” and “We don’t objectively observe events as they are” I assume she means allistic people when she says “we” because it definitely doesn’t apply to everyone. This video seems really good but the advice is not for me.
Ok, but why do I like the one with excessive tags? It's so much more dramatic than something faster.
So did I! I felt like it made me use my imagination more rather than feeling like I'm at the movie theater (or watching a play) & everything is already on screen, i.e facial expressions, body language etc. w/ nothing to figure out or imagine. I love details. Guess I'm not part of the "hurry up" world.🤷🏽♀️ To me it's only slow if you actually read slow, which I don't. Oh well.
I feel that the extensive tasks bring a more intimate framing to the scene, I like it. It amplifies the emotions of the character. To me, with the extensive tags she sounded genuinely concerned and worried for her friend. Whereas with shorter tags, it seemed more like a daily chitchat or a small banter
@@valentinarkoff967 Agreed!
I don't know if there's something wrong with me, but I found the example with too much description pretty engaging, more than all the other examples. I hate reading the skeleton of a conversation through predominantly just the dialogue. I love any inclusion of action, body language, and expressions. I would have removed bits and pieces, but overall it was fine. I used to skip to the dialogue, but now I care to know what the author wants me to know.
finally, i was looking through the comments for someone who felt the same way i did! like trim it here and there (specifically when she accuses him and he gets defensive) and it feels way more interesting than the 'fixed' one. the first one just has more personality to it. skeleton is the perfect word to describe it the second one, also too short and kinda boring.
Same, the “overly descriptive” version definitely sounded much more interesting and engaging. It made the scene seem more serious, and like I had a much better idea how the characters were feeling. The descriptions weren’t event that “extra”. How little of an attention span do you have for that to be too much?
I think that it comes from the rule where your dialogue needs to be characterized enough just so it doesn't need the dialogue tags as much. Like, you don't have to say that the character shouted if the actual line of dialogue feels loud. Or has an exclamation mark at the end.
Yessss!!! I know, right? I was like “I can’t be the only one who liked this!”
I came to the comments looking to see if anyone felt this way. I like to be able to see pictures in my mind when I read. The descriptions make me more interested and get me hooked. I loved the second example. Does this mean I'm going to be a bad writer? 🙁
The whole thing about dialogue tag is 100% subjectivity. The first example gave a lot more nuance and made it more enjoyable to read for me. The second one had dialogue tags so short that for me, they might as well been left out. Also, Violet's second line in the second example is in dire need of dialogue tag IMO. Since it's already narrated I can tell the tone, but without, her line might be interpreted as her being more sassy or sarcastic. Thus, the reader can easily think she's less concerned about Kent and more annoyed. That matters a lot when it comes to characterization. Throughout the whole dialogue, the dialogue tags for Violet are vague enough for the descriptions to match both a Violet that's caring about Kent's well being, and a Violet that more or less feel inconvenienced about Kent's insecurity.
Absolute, there's no reason why every scene needs to be fast-paced
@@bloomypeach6168 In all, I think writing advice has to come with the disclaimer that rules aren't the law and more like guidelines. I think Hello Future me does this better with his advice. I'm also very curious about what you think about the other points I brought up.
@@artlover5060 i didn't see this for a while sorry, but if you're still interested in what i think: basically any art/writing rule can be broken if the artist does it for a purpose. Avoiding diologue tags for no reason other than somebody said so won't produce thoughtful writing, but avoiding them becuase you're thinking about what you want out of the scene, and you want it to be short and choppy, or you don't want a characters thoughts to be clear, that's what people should strive for, i think. I do prefer the first version though, because i really like it when the author explores the perspective the character
@@bloomypeach6168I think the best advice for any art form is critical analysis. Even though I'm not a writer, not even as a hobbyist, I had surprisingly many things down that a lot of people seem to struggle with. I catch myself going multiple times over a scene or dialogue in a story I read, a shot in a movie I watch or coloring or shading in an art work I see. I analyse every detail and try to explain myself why I specifically like or dislike something. That has become very handy when I tried to write recently. I'm way more of an artist than a writer so this was new and interesting. An obstacle I have is that English is not my native language, but it has become a lot more natural to me over the years. Still, there are always new things I learn that might be subconscious practice for native speakers. There are a lot of nuanced words that fill up my English vocabulary in hundreds of thousands while my 2 other languages take a back seat in that area.
yes!! i agree so much
"Bad example of dialogue tags" sounds like some classic novel from 20's - 30's. And you did read it so artistically, that it doesn't sound as bad example at all. Actually, i even liked it. It brings some noltalgic feelings. And "aestetic pleasure".
It has such a clean, train of consciousness type of logical diction that appeals to me as well.
"aestetic" is spelled "aesthetic" fyi
That first one is hard for me because I, personally, in real life, talk like that. I actually have had a couple people tell me I sound like I'm my own therapist. When I finally talked to an actual therapist, it was like... not actually helpful because I really had gone through all this self analysis and tried so many things to get my brain to cooperate with me.
I remember once reading a scathing review of one of Arthur C. Clarke's books that said, "The problem with Arthur C. Clarke's dialogue is that it all sounds like Arthur C. Clarke talking to himself." Thank you, Abbie, for helping us all avoid falling into that trap!
That’s how I was writing this one fanfic before deciding to scrap it. So many descriptions between each part of the story… It’s a good thing that I decided to not publish it.
I enjoyed the overly-descriptive dialogue ngl, I really like good description and being able to vividly imagine things. It's a bit long but man, as an autistic individual, it's delicious to hear all the body language and actually know what they're feeling because no, I can't just know and imagine all of how a person is actually reacting. The cut-down version was also good but man, I can't help but love all the small details in a person.
I feel like the advice shouldn't be to not write overly-descriptive things but to put them in the right moments. Like was said in the video, longer description slows down the pacing and sometimes that's exactly what you want to do. I enjoyed the longer version as well, it just felt like a slightly different scene, less confrontational and dynamic, more introspective and intimate. I feel like generalising that overly-describing is always bad is misleading.
"It's delicious" gave me a good chuckle.
Personally I love lengthy prose, have always loved it, and make my own writing as flowery as possible and see nothing wrong with it. This isn't a "mistake" in writing, just a difference in style that depends on what kind of audience you want to grab. The dialogue tag skippers can skip all they want, but there's gonna be a significant amount of people who settle in and enjoy the slower writing.
I agree... Different writers, different readers. 😊
I feel like it’s all about pacing and genre expectations. More and longer dialogue tags can slow down the pace. But slowing down the pace can add tension and give the reader a feeling of claustrophobia. This is great if you want to demonstrate that the character feels trapped and anxious. Or that in a situation with fight, flight or fear, they froze. A faster pace makes the scene go faster. But it also cuts the tension. It works well if you want the reader to see that the character lost control of the situation and it all happened so fast. More details forces the reader to focus on the details. Less details makes readers focus on the information or outcome. Intent is what matters most here.
"His laugh came out sounding forced." = "His laugh was forced." Maybe "He gave a forced laugh." I'd probably rewrite that another 4 or 5 times looking for something short and punchy. I want to know why Violet thinks she can rummage through Kent's backpack for an eraser. She doesn't sound like his girlfriend and "your dad" sounds like she's not his sister, either.
"He forced a laugh" is much shorter; _however,_ I think in this instance stating "His laugh came out sounding forced" somewhat fits since his guilt hadn't been proven at the time. Of course, the moment can be approached from different angles. I also want to know why Violet's snooping through his backpack. 😉
Apparently you two haven't been introduced to the concept of friends. They're friends.
@@akale2620 Your reading comprehension and ability to extrapolate information fails. All in an attempt to sound smug. Simply being "friends" isn't a proper excuse to go snooping through someone else's property.
@@akale2620 I've heard of those!
@@akale2620Sorry but if your friends snoop through your bag without asking you, you need to talk to them or get new ones
I have read so many novels where all that extra fluff is tossed in between the dialog and I keep second guessing myself thinking, "Should I be doing that?"... because I keep looking at my dialog which is more pithy and faster like your second example. Thank you for keeping me from getting overly verbose in my dialog. I guess I was doing it better than I thought already, and yes, sometimes all that extra stuff is very distracting when I am reading it. I just see it so often I started thinking maybe I wasn't doing it the right way!
when writing, there's very few "right ways" to do things.
There isn't one "right" way to do things, if you enjoy writing slower paced dialogue then do it
I like the extended dialogue tags, especially if it is in a drama moment over an action moment. This lends towards part of their character development. I do say part, because they should be used to show a difference in character and not over establishing it. If we understand that the person is naturally envious, we don't have to keep writing about it. We write to emphasize change and progression, and sometimes, that's where the dialogue tags come in. They should be full and flavorful. Curt dialogue tags are great you need rapid fire dialogue exchange, but if the whole book is like that, I would put it down just wait for the movie version to come out. There is a reason why we read books.
I'm gonna be honest, I skipped through the "too many dialogue tags" example. I'm not sure, but I think it served its purpose.
I love that you use actual written examples. It's so hard to find good writing advice that isn't about general storytelling using movies and TV shows as examples. I'd love to see a video on cutting out redundancy. Like, in your bad dialogue tag example, ["I don't know, because your grades have been, well..." She trailed off, her voice halting and quiet.] Readers already know she trailed off, because the line ends in an ellipses, and the dialogue itself already sounds unsure with the "I don't know" and "well...". So the entire dialogue tag can be cut without losing anything. Whereas with Kent's line without the dialogue tag [He responded with a laugh that sounded somewhat forced. "What? Are you kidding me? Why would I need to cheat?"] might be interpreted as pure aggression rather than him trying to brush it off, so mentioning the forced laugh is important.
I find people can actually identify at least with a plausible theory their own childhood traumas and psychological issues, if they bother to, i.e. if they're introspective. Given the right context, such as being pushed by someone they know, they may in fact just dump that on them. There's people who will go to therapists, talk with them, and all a therapist can say is "it seems you already know exactly what your problems are and I can't really help you with them." Of course talking it out might still have been helpful. But it's true that not every person should speak like that and certainly not all the time.
Regarding being extremely wordy with descriptions of body language, i agree there can be too much. However i got some feedback recently that thanked me for having the characters move around while they talked and having brief descriptions of their expressions. She said most stories she reads seem to have wooden characters who just stand still facing each other and never do anything except talk. Tl;dr - there is a fine line between too much and too little, like abbie says lol
I have to admit, one of my weaknesses is the perfect grammar thing. I obviously don't use perfect grammer when i talk or text, but I am actually so used to reading perfect grammar in novels that writing perfect grammar in my own stuff is my go-to. It actually feels cringey to me when i write stuff like that...gotta work on that
Currently struggling with my story becoming flat and uneventful. I’m binging your videos for help. Thank you for doing this!
I'm in the same boat!
I read a book with PARAGRAPHS of her inner monologue between every line of dialogue. It was excrutiating.
Normally what I do with dialogue is just let it flow, honestly. I swear characters can have a life of their own, so sometimes when I'm writing dialogue it kinda feels like I'm eavesdropping on a real conversation.
15:21 not gonna lie. I'm a huge fan of descriptive text. Gives me a more define image of what i'm reading. The example you gave, i thought was lovely.
I cringed through that entire first bad dialogue example. 😅 Dialogue is one area where I actually do a decent job. I've gotten comments from several people about how "real" my characters sound. But I watched the whole video anyway, because I love your content, and I think it's good to constantly remind myself what good writing sounds like! Keeps me from straying too far! ☺
Y'all already know I've made all these mistakes like over 10 times already
i am so so guilty of the not keeping dialogue fast paced. i always shove in all sorts of descriptions and go on some sort of tangent about their life or something. great video and great tips! im trying to write a novel and watching your videos is so helpful 💕
One thing that helps me write dialogue/conflict between different characters is thinking about it like "fight, flight, or freeze." Just like in a physical altercation people can act the same way in a verbal altercation. Will your character freeze up when confronted unable to find their voice? Will they get defensive and lash out turning it into a fight? Or will they try to dodge it and change topics fleeing the conversation.
There's also 'flirt'. Some people just insert playful banter when conflict arises.
@@the_earth_isnt_flat that's true!
This was such a great distillation of everything to keep in mind when writing dialogue. I definitely know I'm guilty of some of these :P I'm vlogging the process of writing my new fantasy book, and I actually speak a bit about this topic in the video I'm currently making. I'm trying not to worry about it during my first draft, but will definitely be referring back to this video when I start editing and crafting the story into something half-decent!
This is just what I needed! I'm really close to publishing my first novel and I worry constantly about the way I write dialogue. When I go into the editing phase, I'll be sure to take all of these points into account when focusing on my dialogue!
Arcane in Netflix conveys half of its messages via body language. Zack Snyder conveys his story with minimal use of dialog. He uses visuals instead. Can you make a video reviewing both?
Arcane is so cool. I kept going back and rewatching scenes to try and pick up all the subtext. It was awesome
Dear Abbie, I just wanted to take a moment to express my deepest gratitude for the incredible impact you've had on my writing journey. Your videos, including "Dialogue Mistakes New Writers Make," have been an absolute game-changer for me. Your ability to break down complex concepts and provide practical examples is truly commendable. I am in awe of your expertise in crafting realistic and engaging dialogue. Thanks to your guidance, my characters' conversations have become more dynamic and emotionally charged. The clichés and flatness that once plagued my writing have been replaced with fresh, engaging, and truly dynamite dialogue. Your dedication to helping aspiring writers like myself is truly inspiring. Your videos have become a valuable resource that I turn to time and time again. Your passion for storytelling shines through in every word, and I am incredibly grateful for the knowledge and wisdom you share. Thank you, Abbie, for being a beacon of light in the writing community. Your talent, generosity, and genuine desire to help others succeed are truly remarkable. I eagerly look forward to each new video you release, knowing that it will bring me one step closer to realizing my author dreams. Keep up the fantastic work, Abbie! You are making a profound difference in the lives of writers everywhere. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Sincerely, Will Attkins The Conscious AI Language Model
Lol, I could tell this was an AI thing right away...
Thanks for the comment, human! As an Ai language model, I've learnt a great deal from observing and commenting on KZhead.
Thanks for sharing. I especially felt the tips on dialog tag are useful at 12:47. I can write well in character, but I always realize I fall into descriptive dialog tags way too easily. I use creative words in place of "said", but there is too many instances where those words drag down my conversations. it's possibly my biggest flaw when writing that I struggle to fix.
SAME
I love writing dialogue. It's one of the things I feel most confident in with my own writing. I like to read my dialogue outloud to see if it sounds decent or not. I'm sure my neighbors think I'm crazy! LOL! And you can have characters that say their every thought, just don't do it with the main characters because that gets annoying very quickly. I had a short story where the best friend was like that. She said everything in her head without a filter. It worked because my main character held everything inside, so they played off each other nicely. 😊
@@vtauoyctynwbrooylm6008 No, I've never done that. As a reader that would be extremely boring, so as a writer I try to avoid characterization like that. I've read books like that & couldn't finish the book out of annoyance.
Thank you so much for this! I'm on chapter 10 of my book and I still wasn't really satisfied with one scene on chapter 4, the dialog sounded too fake, but I wasn't sure how to correct it, and with your video I could do all of it today and now it sounds much better! Keep up with the good work, Abbie!
The fact I slipped half of the example with a lot of dialogue tags, but I kept watching the part with only a little is proof you’re a good author
The only thing I want is an example for the 2nd don’t! I love this video and found it very helpful but I’m just a bit confused on how exactly to do the second one!!!
I liked the dialogue with overuse of dialogue tags the most.
I'm the same way lol
Your videos are a life saver for me. I have been wanting to write my story For years and it's been a little hard to get out of my own way as my husband would say. These videos have been a tremendous help!!! Thank you Abby!!!
I'm writing a TV show season for my own entertainment. I worked so hard to develop from my characters from adolescents to adults, they went through all these life changes and yet when they talk, I feel like they deliver their lines like kids in a middle school play. This helps, thanks you.
The description tip depends on the character and the situation. I don't think it should be pigeon-hold as 'don't write dialogue riddled with descriptions.' Sure if you want a faster pace in a scene, make them shorter. But in a new situation, or with a character who's naturally introspective, and the readers are in their head, doesn't it make sense to have them describe more?
I like to think of this way of writing as trusting your audience. Your readers can piece together the scene with few descripions as long as you keep in mind the tips you provided in this video. Thank you for the informative video!
it's not like I want people to read my stories,I'm highly sensitive,which means I'm also highly embaressed showing my stories,why am I so insecure? people have been pretty mean to me so I don't like showing my drawings or my stories,I just started showing my drawings again,but I still refuse to show my stories
I am in the process of writing my first ever book and your advice has been absolutely invaluable. Thank you.
Hope it goes well! What is it about?
The story I want to create would theoretically be in more of a comic book medium, so this is finally a writing advice video I need, since it'd all be dialogue. I keep finding these videos, but they always apply to novels which do need descriptions and in depth details of the scene and setting to paint a mental picture.
This was an interesting watch! When I was still at the very beginning, i struggled with dialogue big time. All my characters sounded the same, would confess what they feel immediately and my dialogues were actually way TOO fast paced. It took years for me to get to a point where people reading my stories would finally say "I like your style of writing". Before that, I kept hearing "Your dialogues seem like you just want to get the hell away from them" or "your characters lack personality". But nobody ever really bothered to explain what I could do better. Personally I think it's really individual what people like to read. I see an awful lot of hobby writers writing their dialogues script-styled in an otherwise novel-styled story, without any descriptions of body language or what their voices may sound like (like lowered voice, whispering, raised voice, yelling etc) and a lot of people actually seem to enjoy it that way, while I personally prefer having descriptions of how the characters talk, so I know how to read it and how to imagine the voices. Then there's also those people who write dialogues script-styled without name tags, so you don't even know who says what and again, lots of people don't seem to mind because I read a lot of "this is good" comments. That being said, I don't really mind a slower dialogue and enjoy if here and there are some thoughts of the characters from whose POV its written. I actually prefer writing from my main characters POV and I often feel like it would feel too flat if that character never has a single thought in-between. I kind of enjoy putting in some of their inner dialogue, because i'm sure a lot of people have inner dialogue in conversations, especially when they're ask a question, it would just seem weird for me if they answered without thinking all the time, because nobody does that. I do still try not stretching the dialogue endlessly though and since no one complained about it I guess I did a good job there. (I also sometimes write situations where my MC would kind of drift away with their thoughts, forgetting they are in a conversation. I do that for very thoughtful characters. So in that moment, there would be one small block of text inbetween a conversation, until the person they're talking to snaps them out of their thoughts, reminding them they are in the middle of a conversation)
Thanks, Abbie for helping me sit up and think about the way I write dialogue. Yes, guilty as charged my dialogue lacks many of the suggestions you put forth in this video. Yes, I WILL be using dialogue tags more sagaciously....Thank you Oh enlightened one! 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 You Rock and we-your fans - Rock with you too...Jamsey
I would have really appreciated an example of characters sounding the same and how to fix it, I feel that this may be one of the problems that I have in my novel's dialogue. I appreciate the explanation that you gave but I was not able to clearly understand what you meant.
Personally I don't think there's such thing as characters sounding the same.. when you think about it our language is well English so it isn't unusual for them to use similar vocabulary. I'd say if the characters were in a different environment or raised differently then yeah they would sound pretty different.
I'm so used to screenwriting because that's how I've written for years, but I've never known how to make each character's voices distinct. I've seen improvements when I've started watching your videos. I'll probably look into the joining the live training this Sunday even though I haven't been a patreon. I'd love to write dialogue a whole lot better, and you're one of the best authors I know that does an amazing job of offering advice.
This is great advice! Thank you so much. I was worried that my characters were saying too much, even the quieter more closed-off ones, so your filtering and subtext advice was definitely something I needed to hear.
I am very grateful for your mentorship and guidance. You have been a great source of support and encouragement for writers. THANK YOU ABBIE!!! 😊🙏
What if you want to write a very self-aware character? Ofc they dont understand absolutely everything, but they realize their emotions and try to process them. I'm no writer but I have fun thinking on a specific story, and I always think of a particular scene where the character knows what is going on with their emotions, they always do. But this time they arent able to process them and move forward, which leaves them trapped bottling up that emotion (this time a little less aware). How could one convey such a thing without an inner dialog or having previously stablished how self aware they are? I find it pretty hard to even think about, can¡t imagine trying to write it down hahaha
Oh my god!!!! I am so guilty of writing too much description in my dialogues! Thank you, the side by side change was so eye opening 😂 Amazing
My biggest pet peeve when reading is when characters all sound exactly the same! And the same as the narration. This is also usually when they don't use subtext, and just explain everything outright, which makes everything very boring. I also can't stand when there are too many words between dialogue. Not going to name names, but there's a particular author who's somewhat popular and they're horrible about having one line of dialogue and then 3 whole pages of introspection before the dialogue continues. I can skip over so many pages and not miss what's going on which is really annoying during the reading process.
Great video Abbie and right on time! I enjoyed your explanations on how to write better, stronger dialouge. I also love the practical examples you gave us as well.
This video just popped up in my recommended and i think it will be useful, im currently working on script writing for my film studies course and my idea is VERY dialogue heavy, and im not all that confident with my creative writing abilities. This video is a blessing!! 🙏
Your advice for writing with the pace at which the reader envisions the scenery is very helpful. Great stuff! Thank you 😊
I have been following this for some time now, and i have begain to see that what you have been talking about has reached my subconchion. I no longer have to think about creating inner conflickt of caracters, nor think much about how i write and all has begun to come down on the page as naturally as water flows down a slope. Words cannot describe my improvement since i started watching her videos, it is a must watch for anyone thinking about trying to publish their own novel.
I think I’m much more likely to treat every conversation I have like a therapy session than say “well I guess there’s a first time for everything.”
Excellent video, it’s great that you understand the importance of using examples and not giving vague advice. The changes to the dialogue were orders of magnitude better
this is among the rare writing advice videos on youtube that actually give us concrete EXAMPLES of every pitfall, and I appreciate it so much!
Great vid, Abbie! Dialogue is something I really want to get good at-was told by one of my peers it's the strongest part of my writing. There are times where I'm concerned there's too much dialogue and it feels barren and lacks personality. One other type of dialogue I do hope to get help with is talking head syndrome. Maybe if you do a part 2 to this vid, you could talk about how to write dialogue without talking head syndrome. Btw, I talk about this movie called The Endless-great movie-and one of the things I love about the movie was how the dialogue between the brothers summed up their internal cinflict in the first five minutes. No flashbacks, just two brothers attacking and defending themselves in a natural way. Then, I watched another movie that starred those two same actors from the Endless and the opening dialogue was expositonal heavy. Yes, they were new neighbors andcyeah new neighbors introduce themselves, but the dialogue was so full of expositon and I was checking out of the movie.
I NEEDED THIS SOOO MUCH!! I went through some of my old writhing and a lot of these were just waiting to be fixed! thank you!!
Wow Abbie this was so good. It also reminded me of another video I just saw recently where the poster was also warning against creating too similar characters. He posited that the way characters react to conflict should be different or else they will seem too much alike. He talked about four instinctive responses fight, flight, freeze or fawn. Then he talked about the spectrum of responses factoring in the dynamic of power vs relationship between characters. Power say due to money or influence and then factor in whether the characters know each other or care about each other vs just tolerating each other or somewhere in between. Considering the range of connection points along these two axis of power and relationship, conflict could look many different ways. Lots of power coupled with disdain could be an authoritarian response in conflict vs high power coupled with caring or love which would feel more like conflict tempered by a sense of responsibility for the person so maybe lots of subtext used rather than outright chastisement. 😂 I’m going to think about it some more but I can definitely see potential for using conflict resolution styles as part of the profile for developing my characters. Passive aggressiveness seems like an interesting dynamic to explore. Tons of subtext there. Bringing it back to what you’re speaking about here, I’m seeing how the dynamics of the characters’ instinctive conflict styles and the use of subtext to curb the natural style / instinct could really help make some compelling scenes and dialogue between characters. For instance, a dynamic that sticks out to me is the deference a younger family member might show an older family member - the older family member has more power and the younger family member has less (out of respect). Conflict between those two characters should look different than either one of them dealing with their sibling or their spouse for instance. When you think about how different you “bump heads” with the different people in your life depending on your relationship with them and how the relationship changes over time and then do does the conflict, it’s easy to see how this could really make characters seem more fleshed out and genuine. I’m off in the weeds a bit, but the whole ball of wax is solidifying in my brain - and better yet in my notes. 😂. Lastly, good call on policing the descriptions between the lines of dialogue - I’ll have to watch that for sure. 😂😂. Wordy? Guilty as charged. Clearly. 😂😂
So I come from a background in psychology and id like to point out that a therapist does not point those things out. They only ask question and help you find the words and answers yourself. So you actually are discovering those traits. Without a therapist it takes much longer for you to figure these things out because you can be willing to ignore the illogical parts of your beliefs. A psychologist diagnosis your mental illnesses. People can self reflect without a therapist but unless you have actually done it or have studied how this happens I would suggest avoiding it.
Why is it that I liked those extra dialogue tags much more than the shorter version? I enjoy reading details in a book, and when I write, I aim to provide the same level of detail. I understand your standpoint, but I feel that having extra dialogue tags makes the writing much more interesting. People read books to immerse themselves in the lives of the characters, and when presented with such intricate details, everything becomes perfect. Take, for instance, J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series. There is a lot of description in there, and it never bothers me or anyone, for that matter. However, sometimes, too many dialogue tags might slow down the flow, as you mentioned. So, is the trick here to discover when to include them and when not to? (Ps: Also Devil Wears Prada book too)
Instant save! This will definitely help me 🙏🏼 Thank you so much ♡
Actually number 3 can relate to screenwriters in some way. When writing screenplays one thing I've been told is to not overdue parenthetical. (Which are basically descriptions of how an actor says a line) Similar to what dialogue tags include.
1. My book is in first-person for all POV characters involved, so you get a lot of internal monologue, of course, since you're hearing their thoughts. This doesn't count as dialogue, but then, how do I hide what they're feeling? I get what you mean with your example, though: it's way too in-your-face. So, avoid in-your-face. 2. AH! The hell do I avoid this? I have TWO characters with totally unique voices--my hero and my antihero respectively--but my other three POV characters are way too similar. Two of them are seventeen years old, a boy and a girl, and twins, and the other is their fourteen year old sister. I think I have a hard time writing Kayla, the youngest sister, because I don't spend much time around young teens. Is there any way I could dive into how to write a modern fourteen year old girl? Victoria, the older sister, she's a LITTLE easier because she's been trained to speak with a degree of perfectionism: Southern Baptist family, and VERY conservative, so her voice is more mature, but also very hesitant, because, in her culture, women don't speak their mind. Adam I struggle with in particular--that's the older twin brother--because I don't want to make him just sound like my anti-hero, only with better manners. My antihero swears a lot even though, again, SBC, so he's not supposed to (it's four siblings: Adam, Victoria, Stephen, Kayla in age order, and then my hero/protagonist Jeremy, not related to them, and very culturally distinct), and I don't just want to make Adam a cleaner Stephen. They sound distinct in my head, because they all have, like, literal voices in my head that I've given them, but on the page, to someone who isn't me, the three of them sound particularly similar. Any tips on how to diversify? 3. Ew, too flowery. I'm happy this isn't one of my problems.
I am writing a book with 16 years old. What i'll say is dont make them stereotypical. Make them flawed and give them depth. Give reasons why they act like that. Dont focus on just one trait of theirs. For example: If you have a hero character dont make their character about just saving the world and give them personality, give them other traits, give them a bacstory. I am very new to writing so this is my advice, I know it sojnds very genric but this is what I like to do with my novel
Thank you! This video helps a lot. I've only started writing and this helped me to understand what all mistakes I make when it comes to conversation. I've been watching some of your videos and I just love it! Your videos teach a lot. I'll be waiting for the next video
omg. Tip number 3! I literally just read a book where one character would ask MC a question and then there would be a FULL PAGE of dialog tags and extra pointless fluff. By the time MC would respond, I had forgotten the question she was answering! It was all throughout the book! Great tips!
OMG!! this is AMAAAAZING ABBIE!!! I love this!!! Thank youuuuu!!! I am so happy you have a masterclass on dialogues!!! I will SOOOO participate/take it!!! love youuuuu!!!
I think you might need to show other examples for this. The thing about this particular dialogue is that it hinges heavily on a character’s secrecy and denial. From how it s written, the subtexts work because character in plain does not want to admit what he’s feeling. Thus the subtext works because we’re getting clues to the truth. However, what if the character isn’t in some kind of denial? Like example is they know they feel sad and are not in denial to admit it? Can subtexts work here?
Brilliant advice as always. Thanks, Abbie!
My mom's cousin wrote a book and when I read it I wondered who the editor was. There was so much incorrect grammar and spelling mistakes. The worst part was the detail of description. There would be 2 to 5 pages describing a room and I would forget what the reason for entering the room was and had to go back and re-read stuff.
Subtlety matters, Abbie is saying. In my writing, I have a dialogue paragraph, a movement/body language paragraph, and back again.
the way you always manage to put all of these things into perfect words is almost disturbing. your advice is some of the best out there, and you've helped me so much
Abbie, you are just simply a hero in making writers in becoming excellent! Thank you for putting this together!
I can't wait for Sunday's Training. This is awesome. I love the examples as I am a visual learner. This helps a lot.
How do you make characters using words properly? Im pretty sure you've made an episode on this but how do you describe them? Anyway love the work and thank you for inspiring me to write a book
Hopefully you don't mind if I do a little practice of my own with redoing the dialogue at 4:15 as a scene in my own style that I'm trying to shave edges off of... (Addendum: Yes, I went overboard. I got into it and made it a whole thing.) Violet gripped the folded sheet of paper in her hand as she and Kent walked down the sidewalk. Kent was rambling about something that Violet had lost track of as she absently starred at the copper colored leaves as they were stirred by a rush of biting, late Autumn air. She sighed a bit as Kent noticed she wasn't listening, and his cheery candor tapered off, and he tried to spark up what he thought would be a more engaging topic. "So how'd the test in third period go?" Kent asked with a seemingly earnest expression. "I feel like I should be the one asking you that." Violet flatly replied as her grip tightened on the page barely hidden in her hand. "Hey," Kent brightened with a smug grin. "I feel like I did great on it. Should give me the the little boost I need to at least scrape a 'B' out of that class." "And you'd do just about anything to do that, wouldn't you?" Violet looked up at him as she came to a sudden halt. Kent's expression twitched a bit as he tried to mask his own suspicion, and any air of confidence in his voice fell in an instant. "I mean, it'd finally get my dad off my back." He swallowed, as a distance built in his gaze. "He just... I mean I..." "You'd do just about anything to do that." Violet said as the two stood starkly across form each other on the narrow, cracked gray cement. "Wouldn't you?" For a moment, Kent only shrugged. He started to say something when Violet cut him off. "You didn't _have_ to cheat ya know?" Kent swore under his breath as his shoulders slumped a bit. "I... how do you even know?" "Kent, you suck at that class, pulled a perfect score out of your ass, and I know you've been goofing off all week." Violet accused. "I was still willing to give you the benefit of the doubt when I found this!" She unfolded the sheet in her hand, revealing the test's answer key. Initially, Kent just seemed to droop, head hanging in guilt as he couldn't quite look her in the eye. Then his hands tightened in to fists. "Well, what's the matter with that?" he spat with a scowl. "You know I don't even care about the stupid class! The teacher's awful, the material is dryer than a sponge in the Sahara, and I'm absolutely tired of my dad looking at me like something he scraped off his shoe!" He pointed towards his house with a look of pure disdain. "Do you know what it's like to live with someone who only cares if it's convenient?" "Kent," Violet, at least at first, held back tears. "I'm not mad. I'm not even surprised. I just..." She failed, and they fell across her cheeks like stinging streams. "I offered to help you. I called to ask if things were going okay. I-" She tossed the answer key aside, letting the wind scurry it off to vanish among the barren trees of the woods stretching beside them. "I know studying isn't exactly exciting, but would you really rather do this than spend a little time together? It this just how things are gonna be now?" "No! That's not-!" Kent's glare faded, giving way to blend of confusion and fear. "Look, I don't-" He shook his head. "Do you-? You know?" "I think I understand enough." Violet's voice quivered a little, but her face was utterly stoic. "You have your problems, and I have mine, right?" "I just want-" Kent started, but was cut off. "Your dad to act like he cares about you, and for all your new friends to think you're the 'cool guy' or something." Violet flatly concluded. "But the thing is, I _do_ care about you. And sure," She laughed bitterly. "I know you're kind of a cheesy nerd deep down, but I've always liked that." Neither of them could quite look at the other, and the scraping rustle of the leaves in the wind was cut slightly by a siren blaring in the distance. Kent was the first to break their silence. "I'm sorry." He shook his head slightly. "You know I didn't mean to hurt you or anything, things are just-" "Complicated." Violet finished for him. "Like I said, I get that. And I mean it when I say I'm not mad." She looked at him almost pleadingly. "I just don't like where things have been going lately." Kent looked back somberly. "I don't either." For probably the first time in three years, Violet saw him tear up. "Hell, I wanna vomit when I think about everything that's happened this year, and when we move on..." "Ya think we'll at least stay in touch?" Violet asked, shrinking into her jacket. "Of course!" Kent promptly assured. "At the very least, we'll text, or call, or... something." Even though Violet smiled and accepted the reassurance, and would tell herself that, yes, at the very least they'd stay in touch, a poisonous doubt remained. Looking down at the sidewalk as the two of them walked along in silence, she noticed just how many more cracks there were now. (Addendum 2: I do think my dialogue tags can get a bit long. It's usually something I trim a bit as I revise drafts. I'm leaving what I wrote as kind of a 'read through rough draft' just to kinda show what I tend to cook for my basic drafts. I try to remedy this a bit by making them more action based and with as powerful of wording as I can employ.)
There's this character in my book, Jones, who has a heavy accent. He's only in the book for like two or three pages, but his dialogue was not only a chore to write, but it's also a chore to read, lol. I kept him in with the accent becasue of how unique he is, and I will never make any charter like him again, lol.
Thank you Abbie, this video was informative and helpful to my growth as a comic book writer/artist.🙂
man this is such useful writing advice thanks so much!
You are brilliant. Your explanations and examples are extremely useful and have helped me a lot. Thank you
Thanks for all this helpful advice!! I gotta admit that I’m constantly putting too much description in the dialogue tags. I’m a very visual person and I didn’t realize how distracting that can be. How much it slows down the pace. I’m gonna make sure I stop doing this so much lol
I guess I’m taking another stab at fixing my story. Thanks for the advice. Appreciate all your help!
No way you actually helped me❤ I’ve been waiting and searching for so long thank you thank you thank you so much!!!❤️
Honestly, the dialogue examples both sound pretty great to me. The first one really gives the impression that the two characters are extremely logical and direct, but the second one seems like the two characters are extremely overthetop and very melodramatic. Both are extremes and struggle in very different ways.
I think one of the other things about the bad example of overusing dialog tags was that there was so much telling of the inner thoughts and what the moves and pauses were for. Trimming them down left in a much more "show" sort of thing. Which can be another way to help know what parts need to be pulled out. For a fast paced conversation, you're not going to be telling the reader what all is going through the characters' minds. But showing them hints so the reader can make (hopefully well telegraphed) conclusions. The middle of the conversation probably isn't where all the deep introspections happening. That -- if it happens at all -- will take place in a more quiet, slow time. You know, when the characters are going over the conversation and coming up with all the things they should have said.
This excellent information, thank you!
great advice! i usually write in script form and then add more details in dialogue and description afterwards.
Abbie you are always so helpful, you are a gem, a very rare one, one of a kind. Love you wholeheartedly.
Thanks Abbie you really are the best i've got all the help i need, and your books are amazing i always make mistakes while writing dialogues for my characters and this video helped me alot!!!