Dare to Question Why We Are So Afraid of Getting Older: Scilla Elworthy at TEDxMarrakesh 2012

2024 ж. 3 Мам.
298 913 Рет қаралды

SCILLA ELWORTHY is the founder of the Oxford Research Group, a non-governmental Organisation she set up in 1982 to develop effective dialogue between nuclear weapons policy-makers worldwide and their critics. She served as its executive director from 1982 until 2003, when she left that role in order to set up Peace Direct, a charity supporting local peace builders in conflict areas. From 2005 she was adviser to Peter Gabriel, Desmond Tutu and Richard Branson in setting up The Elders. She is a member of the World Future Council and the International Task Force on Preventive Diplomacy. She has been nominated three times for the Nobel Peace Price and in 2003 she was awarded the Niwano Peace Prize for her work with the Oxford Research Group.
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  • Is not the fear of getting old per see, it is the fear of being vulnerable, poor and abused. The fear of being lonely and forgotten and a stranger to everyone. That's the real fear.

    @ariellapper53@ariellapper536 жыл бұрын
    • @barb lee "Mental and physical capacity" are controlled, to a large extent, by the choices we make in life decades before ... choices regarding what we eat, how much we exercise, the folks that we choose to surround ourselves with. If we make wise choices regarding these things, we build a foundation of good physical and mental health. As we age, the benefits derived from the strong foundation become more and more obvious. Good choices in these areas are parallel to "saving for retirement" (financially); keep making "regular deposits" in this account and years down the road you will be "wealthy" (physical/emotional health) beyond belief.

      @karlaelvis9815@karlaelvis98155 жыл бұрын
    • So very well said

      @NinesCatudio@NinesCatudio5 жыл бұрын
    • I think your comment is less about fear and more about these 5 words in my head.. Are we having fun yet?

      @wandareichard3229@wandareichard32295 жыл бұрын
    • @Thomas casidy UNTRUE...

      @_S-O-S_@_S-O-S_5 жыл бұрын
    • @barb lee True...

      @_S-O-S_@_S-O-S_5 жыл бұрын
  • Back in 2002, I won an award from a writing contest with just this simple quote: "I am a firm believer in life after youth"

    @leftykeys6944@leftykeys69444 жыл бұрын
    • Brilliant!

      @undercoverhamster2549@undercoverhamster25493 жыл бұрын
    • Where can we find it?

      @joannahzamora@joannahzamora2 жыл бұрын
    • @@joannahzamora, it was called "A Brief Letter From The Heart" and was hosted by the Japanese. I don't know if it is anywhere to be found, all these years later.

      @leftykeys6944@leftykeys69442 жыл бұрын
    • Excellent!!

      @lisapiccirilli4908@lisapiccirilli49082 жыл бұрын
    • That is a fabulous way to put it🙌

      @mollypinto4666@mollypinto4666 Жыл бұрын
  • I am 61 years young - I care not what I look like, though I "look quite good" - only because I exercise daily, eat well and engage in spiritual activities (and I am an artist). If I die tomorrow, I'm good with that. In the meantime, I will continue to live a "life of service", shining my light wherever I can. I have no children and my husband just passed away - I'm on my own... and that is fine. I will continue to move forward on the path that I feel is right for me, with the knowledge that all will be well. FEAR is a plague that I do not wish to invite...

    @karlaelvis9815@karlaelvis98155 жыл бұрын
    • Karla Elvis I like your attitude. So sorry about your loss, but sounds like you are moving forward with your life.🙂

      @karenkaren3189@karenkaren31895 жыл бұрын
    • I so applaud this reply. Bravo!!!

      @oceanpoet1@oceanpoet15 жыл бұрын
    • You are still young and on your second journey in life. Enjoy..

      @bj77755@bj777555 жыл бұрын
    • Good for you, I'm 30 and only hope to have your attitude when I'm that age

      @gstylez0107@gstylez01075 жыл бұрын
    • @@gstylez0107 You can, but it is no accident; start now by "investing in yourself" via making good choices regarding the food you eat, the amount that you exercise, and the people that you surround yourself with.

      @karlaelvis9815@karlaelvis98155 жыл бұрын
  • I am 77, and getting older is a blessing. Death comes at all ages, and even before birth.

    @acajudi100@acajudi1004 жыл бұрын
    • Getting older chronologically is a blessing, not getting older biologically.

      @korpen3770@korpen37704 жыл бұрын
    • Exactly!! Not everyone is privileged to grow old!

      @Weeflowerofscotland@Weeflowerofscotland Жыл бұрын
    • You're right, people die in the middle of their youth. We have two choices, die young or get the chance to grow old.

      @-simplicity7551@-simplicity7551 Жыл бұрын
    • @korpen3770 Finally someone who says it how it is.

      @dammar117@dammar11711 ай бұрын
  • I've only just turned 24 and I'm panicking about being old. I think I need to chill a bit

    @jackbudgen8858@jackbudgen88587 жыл бұрын
    • I am 27 and going bald!

      @GangiFilms@GangiFilms6 жыл бұрын
    • 17 and I'm worried

      @user-zp8jv2yt7s@user-zp8jv2yt7s6 жыл бұрын
    • Jack Budgen I’m 15 and worried

      @ranstackzz7009@ranstackzz70096 жыл бұрын
    • Yeah. You youngn's need to chill.

      @Upper_echelon_exotics@Upper_echelon_exotics6 жыл бұрын
    • Gangi Films When I was in high school, my algebra teacher was 22 and bald. He was very smart and he was also cute and pretty popular. 😉

      @girlfriday1299@girlfriday12995 жыл бұрын
  • I am 83 and never in my life did I have the courage to be my self I am so sorry about that and that is so sad.

    @TheAllie321@TheAllie3214 жыл бұрын
    • ❤️

      @quarentinedlove2903@quarentinedlove29033 жыл бұрын
    • You can start right now ✨🧚🏼‍♂️💫🌸 I believe in YOU!!

      @Embodied.bliss.somatics@Embodied.bliss.somatics3 жыл бұрын
    • I am 58, but I know what you mean. Sometimes, in the middle of the night - I feel like i am suffocating. And I am already thinking that this is it for me. And it will not happen for me during this lifetime. And it's been a wasted life for sure.

      @normadesmond6017@normadesmond60173 жыл бұрын
    • TheAllie321 You can be yourself now it is again possible try and you will be so happy and in peace with yourself 👍😊 every thing can be change if you really want believe in you trust you

      @sophiebrindeau2722@sophiebrindeau27223 жыл бұрын
    • How was the life in ur younger times?

      @bruh2391@bruh23913 жыл бұрын
  • We are afraid because we can't fit in our society with how much it loves youthful - not necessarily useful people. Because of invisibility. There would be less fear if we lived in an elder respecting society.

    @Technicolor-mother@Technicolor-mother7 жыл бұрын
    • I see what you are saying but the way i feel when we get older we might look at all the young ones like kids. I am 32 and see all these 20 year olds and they are kids to me lol Someone in there 50s or 60 might see me as just a kid lol kinda how it is and you will fit in there will be older people too.

      @Jcandy20012@Jcandy200126 жыл бұрын
    • +Andy Holcroft right on andy I agree.

      @debbieharriman1194@debbieharriman11946 жыл бұрын
    • I agree Shannon

      @debbieharriman4048@debbieharriman40485 жыл бұрын
    • I moved to Asia last year, aged 54. I Less of this ageism...

      @davidpearlactorteacherbizman@davidpearlactorteacherbizman5 жыл бұрын
    • so you are afraid because of what they patriarchy think???? Lol who cares what they think??? have some self respect

      @maneskinnnnn7190@maneskinnnnn71905 жыл бұрын
  • My issue with growing older is how people start treating you different, like you're weak or useless, unneeded. I don't look, in the mirror, the way I do in my head (like I'm still in the 20s/30s), people don't treat me the way they did when I was in my 20s/30s. It's almost like an out of body experience, my mentality doesn't match up with how I look, feel, or how I'm treated by others.

    @andrealehman9566@andrealehman9566 Жыл бұрын
  • I’m 16 years young but I watch videos like this because I’m scared to get older but hearing all your stories makes me so happy to see that I will be happy if I stop worrying so much . this woman is so beautiful.

    @shelly9778@shelly97783 жыл бұрын
    • I'm almost 25 and trust me, you've got a lot of time. Spend it, appreciate every second. Hang on to your friendships. Best of luck.

      @-simplicity7551@-simplicity7551 Жыл бұрын
  • "When we are useful... that emptiness disappears". There is so much wisdom in this Ted talk. I'm 25 and I'm terrified of growing older. This speech gives me great hope that I can feel peace, happiness, and worth no matter what my age and appearance is. That there is so much that I'm meant for that has nothing to do with my appearance. Thank you for this- I needed it.

    @yowee1234@yowee12349 жыл бұрын
    • Enjoy being 25 and never worry about aging. None of us know if we will be here tomorrow, next week or next year. You will regret wasting your youth worrying about aging. Aging is not nice, but it is a long way away from 25. Enjoy every minute and do not waste a moment of it. Worry is like sitting in a rocking chair, it gets you nowhere but gives you something to do. Dont just exist LIVE.

      @teasesquezze@teasesquezze7 жыл бұрын
    • I remember being terrified at 25 too ... I also remember looking back at 30, 40, 50 and 60 saying to myself, "damn! I looked great!" I've finally stopped looking back and now appreciate today and look forward to tomorrow. I am active, vibrant and always learning and growing (at 63). Don't let society set your standards - create your own. Stay off social media BS (it will increase your anxiety!). Stay active and engaged and be interested in other people. Spend time in nature and laugh ... life is truly beautiful and if you feel that it will exude from you at any age : ) xxoo

      @mamalovesthebeach437@mamalovesthebeach4375 жыл бұрын
    • Yowee, google for the u-curve of happiness and you will know that there is nothing to be afraid of, except your own fears and beliefs

      @trainingvisions@trainingvisions4 жыл бұрын
    • yowee1234 hey are you 30 now?

      @megaknight5858@megaknight58584 жыл бұрын
    • yowee1234 omg are you 30? You are 30+10 = 40 omg only 10 years after that you’re unable to be active!!!!

      @megaknight5858@megaknight58584 жыл бұрын
  • It's my birthday today and I'm upset about it, this talk helped me.

    @Lithiel@Lithiel7 жыл бұрын
  • I never put much thought into getting older or dying until my children unexpectedly tragically died... and the world kept moving forward without them in it. It's not so much the dying or being dead... it's the fear of ceasing to exist and going out of this world alone, that is my constant interruption in my mind.

    @motherofangels1710@motherofangels17102 жыл бұрын
    • 💔

      @bethelshiloh@bethelshilohАй бұрын
  • for me, ageing is just another reminder that time has passed, we don't get a second chance, and death is coming whether you're fulfilled and ready or your'e not

    @Ryantravisaol@Ryantravisaol7 жыл бұрын
    • this is depressing

      @MrGuizmoguizmo@MrGuizmoguizmo7 жыл бұрын
    • no matter how much money you have, you'll never defy the law of nature .....aging is real and whether you like it or not you'll get old and die eventually no matter how young you're now .....life is a cycle of birth, living and death.

      @udakangwa6091@udakangwa60917 жыл бұрын
    • Death can come AT ANY age.

      @charlottecarlos6296@charlottecarlos62966 жыл бұрын
    • From all NDE worldwide now we don't die...only our bodies do! Our spirits and souls live on! And I think we do get a second chance. Life is just Life University with lots of lessons to learn and if we don't learn certain lessons,guess what? We have to come back and learn once again! Have no fear...even though I've never had a NDE, I have seen signs from the Other side...we're never alone! Peace, love and namaste~

      @brendadrew834@brendadrew8346 жыл бұрын
    • but maybe your next life is more exciting then this one, you dont know

      @lunafringe10@lunafringe104 жыл бұрын
  • There's no denying that youth is beauty, but there are many other things that are also beautiful that many of us don't notice as readily. Scilla's message, that there's beauty in energy, vitality, purpose, authenticity, and talent, is a breath of fresh air. She's beautiful too.

    @notaclue822@notaclue8223 жыл бұрын
  • I didn’t think as deeply before.. but I’m 28 now and suddenly I realize that I’m about to transition to 30 which seems so old to me. I can never go back to those youthful years and the thought of it freaks me out like nothing else. Getting old is the most terrifying thing we go through as humans. What a weird life.. I hope as I get older I’ll accept it, but at the moment I’m not okay

    @masterperch4246@masterperch42462 жыл бұрын
    • 27 and right there with ya

      @BrittCrescentMoon@BrittCrescentMoon2 жыл бұрын
    • STILL SO YOUNG ! EVEN MM , QUITE YOUTHFUL AND VIBRANT STILL WAS ONLY 35

      @kk92922@kk92922 Жыл бұрын
    • I'm 28 in the same situation. I feel you. I hope I loved being old as the times goes

      @ssvv431@ssvv431 Жыл бұрын
    • I’m 59, going on 60 in a couple months. 29 was my hardest birthday by far. Because it meant the last year of youth. But I’m here to tell you…..it only gets better, My Dear

      @cinditrautmann7228@cinditrautmann7228 Жыл бұрын
    • @@cinditrautmann7228 you are so sweet 😊

      @zitron6416@zitron6416 Жыл бұрын
  • I'm 23 and I'm afraid of getting old because I won't be able to fend more myself. Right now I'm on top of the world. I don't need anyone, but one day I will be old and tired. One day I will be fragile and weak.

    @felixf4378@felixf43784 жыл бұрын
    • Thats why you appreciate it so much though, isnt it?

      @persephones_favorite@persephones_favorite2 жыл бұрын
    • If people at age 20-29 are afraid of getting old it just shows how much this society puts value on youth and it's a problem. I can understand 29 though lot of younger people get so scared of turning 30.

      @bizznick444joe7@bizznick444joe72 жыл бұрын
  • I'm afraid of getting old because of getting fragile and dying!

    @jessicamanees@jessicamanees6 жыл бұрын
    • Well, eat proper food and get daily exercise

      @christopherellis2663@christopherellis26634 жыл бұрын
    • just look at your parents any you ll know whats coming im most cases

      @lunafringe10@lunafringe104 жыл бұрын
    • Me too

      @mitch5222@mitch52223 жыл бұрын
    • I don’t know why I found this comment so funny. yeah I think the same too but like 😂😂

      @mysu3777@mysu37773 жыл бұрын
    • Everybody dies one day. Only when you embrace reality and accept it’s beyond your control, will you finally live a better life.

      @stephaniepersin4145@stephaniepersin41452 жыл бұрын
  • For me aging comes with being ignored in society and it comes with health problems and it comes with feeling like you hadn’t achieved enough and never getting second chances I always had the idea that you can start over but you really can’t after a certain age .

    @quarentinedlove2903@quarentinedlove29033 жыл бұрын
  • $270 Billion dollars spent on fighting nature? Amazing. The true beauty of who we are should be appreciated with our mental contributions. Share with the world your talents.

    @the_film_scene@the_film_scene9 жыл бұрын
    • Yeah. spending money on vaccines, antibiotics were a waste of money! Glad to see you said "NO" to all medical intervention, as it is NOT NATURAL"! You are naturally supposed to die before AGE 30 of infectious disease like they did in the middle ages. BRING BACK POLIO! SO MANY CHILDREN HAVE NOT HAD A CHANCE TO GET POLIO! Follow the path NATURE set out for you! Seeing your grandchildren is overrated!

      @bluejackscanada@bluejackscanada8 жыл бұрын
    • ^ A bit disillusioned. But keep on writing... Someone may read it.

      @MJBrewer@MJBrewer8 жыл бұрын
    • @@bluejackscanada dude! Wtf!

      @abitofeverythingbynastassi6273@abitofeverythingbynastassi62734 жыл бұрын
    • @@bluejackscanada I appreciate your observations & comments as well as those of the presenter. So wonderful that we humans can benefit from such a wealth of science and viewpoints, and then have free will to be-and evolve into-our most authentic selves! Best wishes to all!

      @shamelesschic9491@shamelesschic94912 жыл бұрын
  • I turned 46 and started to feel invisible. Suddenly, people are no longer nice to me, just cold "Yes ma'm", official cold voices, treat me like "elderly" which really caught me off gard because I wasn't expecting that this soon. It's like suddenly I am no longer person that deserves kindness or attention. But that is not even the worst. Worst is health decline which is also sudden and unexpected, then final aknowledgment that I am single and alone and will probably stay that way, that my carer is where it is, and nowhere close I wanted it to be and what i worked so hard for. It's devastating.

    @biljam972@biljam9725 жыл бұрын
    • I am turning 40 years soon and it feels weird..the effects of aging are ravaging my body too and the loneliness and invisibility doesn't make matters any easier..making things worse is the fact that friends and family members are dying right, left and center..the fact that younger guys call me an "O.G" or " uncle" just gives me the chills..aging is definitely not for sissies!!!

      @issamanganga7681@issamanganga76815 жыл бұрын
    • @@issamanganga7681 so true. But there is no real acceptable alternative so we have to adjust. I dunno this sudden transition is awful!

      @biljam972@biljam9725 жыл бұрын
    • @@biljam972 I feel like there is no alternative because I did my apprentice at a nursing home and at a hospice and to see how the end will be, I just had to stop working there because of the emotional trauma of seeing people "passing"...the transition from middle-aged to old is really traumatizing and don't start on job searching..oh! I see on your job application that you are 40 years old oh! we will call you soon or soonish! 😂

      @issamanganga7681@issamanganga76815 жыл бұрын
    • I feel the same all I hear is yes sir. When I started hearing people simply call me by that moniker it made me feel pretty bad. It's like no one wants to be my friend and treat me like a distant uncle or something.

      @bizznick444joe7@bizznick444joe72 жыл бұрын
    • Yeah, this is the reality for so many and yet somehow we're told that we should think these awful changes are the best thing that ever happened to us. Theres no sympathy and no support for those who hate the ageing process-only sternly wagging fingers and harsh judgements for being so 'negative.' It's alright for the ones who are healthy, good looking and who have sailed through the menopause-what do they know about the suffering the rest of us have had to endure?

      @superfreakmusic7681@superfreakmusic7681 Жыл бұрын
  • I could care less how I look, what brings me anxiety is losing my health.

    @ceoptimist@ceoptimist2 жыл бұрын
  • I remember I was a caregiver for an 83 year old woman and she wanted to buy a jar of Olay wrinkle cream, and I just knew it wasnt going to make a lick of difference for her. It broke my heart because it made me think of my own futile efforts to hang on to my youth as well. Even 40-50+ year old women that get facelifts and Botox look nothing more than a 40-50+ year old woman with a facelift or Botox. We can NEVER erase years from our face the way we think we can. And in my experience, most people that say “Wow! You don’t look that old at all” are simply just being nice. The best way to handle growing older as a woman is to eat a healthy diet, exercise, use a good sunscreen and just accept the fact that time rolls on for EVERYONE and there’s nothing you, nor I, can do to slow it down. It’s perfectly normal to look like you are 47 if you are 47, etc. The most demoralizing thing you can do to yourself and to wreak havoc on yourself is to NOT accept your age and to try to hang on to youth that is so fleeting for everyone. Embrace the wisdom and stability you have gained over the years. Youth is a short fleeting ride for everyone!

    @brittanysapology9528@brittanysapology9528 Жыл бұрын
    • Except the ones who have had great work done so you dont know theyve actually had anything done. Everyone thinks that theyre just 'ageing gracefully'

      @superfreakmusic7681@superfreakmusic7681 Жыл бұрын
    • I'm so glad I banged the hot chick while we were young. It was awesome! Memories.

      @Peter-uo9km@Peter-uo9km Жыл бұрын
    • You said everything I think on this issue to a T 😊 Yet I don’t know why I’m so sad that I have to accept ageing. Perhaps it’s because I have to admit that I’m not immortal and I will have to leave my children and if I live long enough my grandchildren also. It’s a really horrible feeling . I’m Hoping it will pass quickly like the dreaded menopause I keep being warned about .

      @luluah1198@luluah1198 Жыл бұрын
    • I have a different view. I think she got to 83 cos she tried to be the best version of herself even at that age. I hope you got her the Olay.

      @DECCA789@DECCA78923 күн бұрын
  • im 15 but i have anxiety over this shit and its a HUGE influence in my life...😔

    @evachris1211@evachris12117 жыл бұрын
    • same, im 16 though

      @KieranLehaneJ@KieranLehaneJ7 жыл бұрын
    • mrsmoonkiller Christodoulo in 22 and feel like this so don't feel too bad... wish I was 15 again 😞

      @musicluver71@musicluver717 жыл бұрын
    • 18 here. I hate being worried about this. But maybe we can try to be healthy and less old, idk

      @Myllkka@Myllkka7 жыл бұрын
    • no matter how much money you have, you'll never defy the law of nature .....aging is real and whether you like it or not you'll get old and die eventually no matter how young you're now .....life is a cycle of birth, living and death.

      @udakangwa6091@udakangwa60917 жыл бұрын
    • What word would you use to replace "shit" that would reflect on you being thoughtful and desire your comment to be read?

      @vistagraphsnet@vistagraphsnet7 жыл бұрын
  • Society is quick to judge and dismiss people as old and 'past it' .

    @opheliagrove666@opheliagrove6662 жыл бұрын
  • She hit the nail on the head with the fear of invisibility. I'm a photographer that started out as a model. I get invited to shoots still, but not as a model. I'm relegated to a position BEHIND the camera, capturing the beauty of other people instead of having a photographer capture MY attractiveness. That bothers me to no end.

    @southernarts4443@southernarts44433 жыл бұрын
    • It's about time the world sees more modeling agencies that focus on only the seniors.....that'd be so great!!!

      @sebentilezanini1085@sebentilezanini10853 жыл бұрын
    • But somehow you're expected to laugh it off and say that it doesnt bother you. Just because SOME people arent bothered by it, doesnt mean that everyone isnt, but somehow because a minority think ageing is wonderful, the rest of us are expected to go along with it and get judged and criticised if we dare speak up and tell the truth about how we really feel about it

      @superfreakmusic7681@superfreakmusic7681 Жыл бұрын
  • Absolutely amazing speech. Since I've turned twenty i started freaking out seeing wrinkles on my young faces. I am afraid of aging. Everybody is but we don't talk about it enough, and we aren't taught how to live with it. People prefer to remove eveey sign of growing older with bigger or smaller medical surgeries. Thank you madame for this fantastic presentation. You are an inspiration❤

    @agata2778@agata2778 Жыл бұрын
  • We love good looking people so much Just imagine a person's funeral. He's lying in his grave but it's just his body. He's gone forever. What's left is just his body that the world adored so much. Damn it gives me chills

    @Yo-n2751@Yo-n27515 жыл бұрын
  • Most people who hate their birthdays hate where they are in life. I remember being so depressed at turning 30 because I was in a bad marriage and saw no way out. If you are happy in your space/life, you don't think about age that much. Having said that, I try to live with my death always before me.

    @grannygoes7882@grannygoes78825 жыл бұрын
  • The fear is of getting close to end of life. Nor everyone have a chance to have full life. Things slow down and the rest of the society looks at old people as burden. I belong to a dance group with mostly retired people and they are incredibly talented and energetic. Learned so much, developed friendships and life doesn't look as scary. 🙂

    @slim2178@slim21784 жыл бұрын
  • This is so beautiful. ❤ Greetings from a buddhist woman in Germany, 51 years old.

    @minimalista2023@minimalista20234 жыл бұрын
  • Only two things you can be sure of in this life. 1. Some morning you will wake up and see an oldie in the mirror. 2. That day is not as far away as you think. BTW a lovely woman and brilliant and important talk.

    @jimsimpson1006@jimsimpson10064 жыл бұрын
    • Thanks. Made me feel much better😕

      @josephphotiboi4681@josephphotiboi46814 жыл бұрын
    • Most uplifting, cheers! 😏

      @CandiceNitschke@CandiceNitschke2 жыл бұрын
  • Because the patriarchy dismisses women over the age of fertility and our culture is obsessed with youth and beauty.

    @grapiken7766@grapiken77668 жыл бұрын
    • +Gra Piken It's not limited to women, you know?

      @websurfin2010@websurfin20108 жыл бұрын
    • websurfin2010 I realise... But it's mostly directed towards women. Watch television tonight and see how many make up, skin cream and anti ageing products adverts are aimed at men. Advertising is saturated with the message that women need to keep looking young.

      @grapiken7766@grapiken77668 жыл бұрын
    • LOL! Every culture values fertility and youth and symmetry. It's actually more nature than society. Men are conditioned by nature to go after the young eggs. Society can try to change this, however trying to fight nature is not a battle you can win.

      @bluejackscanada@bluejackscanada8 жыл бұрын
    • Why do night clubs have a "ladies night" and not a "men's night", why can girls play on boys hockey teams, but boys cannot play on girls hockey teams? Why when the ship goes down its "women and children first?" Why is almost all pornography viewed by men? Men biologically are attracted to the visual, while women tend to be attracted emotionally and to resources. Hunter gatherer societies shaped human being long before there were marketing agencies. Your attempting to fight NATURE.

      @bluejackscanada@bluejackscanada8 жыл бұрын
    • bluejackscanada Those examples you cited are examples of discrimination against men and you should shout it out. We are not solely animals any more. We have human intellect too. That's why a brain surgeon can be a woman and a hairdresser be a man.

      @grapiken7766@grapiken77668 жыл бұрын
  • Once my actual Birthday day has gone I don't even think how old I am. I still feel and act about 25 even though I'm 68. I dress smartly and always put make up on when I go out, not for other people but to make myself feel good. I just use Nivea cream. None of these face serums or moisturisers work, it's just a big con. You cannot stop getting old and even if you have face lifts, eye lifts etc you can still tell how old you are by your hands. Grow old gracefully is the best thing. As long as I can still get out and about I'm happy. You can't stop the hands of time. It's personality that matters, nothing else. Wisdom also comes with age, if it doesn't you've lived a very sheltered life. My thought is if only we knew what we know now when we we're younger we wouldn't have made any mistakes in life haha.

    @susan9188@susan91882 жыл бұрын
  • Lovely lady! You are so right!I am working on my vanity. You are so far ahead of us!

    @pinabarryscott@pinabarryscott7 жыл бұрын
  • "When we are useful... that emptiness disappears".. . beautiful!!! thank you!!!

    @caanchui8955@caanchui89555 жыл бұрын
  • I'm turning 25 this year and I'm starting to get scared of turning 30

    @skysamples1879@skysamples18792 жыл бұрын
    • My 30s were my best years.

      @bethelshiloh@bethelshilohАй бұрын
  • I think getting old is a fine thing.

    @soulmutiny4411@soulmutiny44119 жыл бұрын
    • Ahhh. I hope to lie to my self as well, but myself does not believe me. How do you believe the lie?

      @bluejackscanada@bluejackscanada8 жыл бұрын
    • bluejackscanada sad that you think it's a lie.

      @laspilly@laspilly6 жыл бұрын
    • So many r not lucky enough to enjoy ripe age

      @gurpreet7970@gurpreet79705 жыл бұрын
    • Me too.

      @karenkaren3189@karenkaren31895 жыл бұрын
    • @@bluejackscanada When you believe it is true an actually feel it then the lie is defeated.

      @mjohnson1741@mjohnson17414 жыл бұрын
  • The media lies about everything. We all want to look good and there is nothing wrong with wanting to look good at any age. The fear in getting older is losing our looks and strength, etc. but also our parents, friends and partners. Its fear of illness and nursing homes. And these are legitimate concerns, that we must deal with and prepare for. But its also time to reflect on what we have done or accomplished and take more time to enjoy what we have passed by in our youth. Its like the rest of your life, old age, its what you make it.

    @jewelleryaddict@jewelleryaddict Жыл бұрын
  • I'm so thankful for this speech. Today there's a lot of enfasis on being "young", fast, "updated" to the newest technologies, but few years ago I started fearing we're all loosing something precious in this big fast race. The wisdom one can aquire through their lifetime is not something you can obtain with reading a book or watching a tutorial. I'm happy someone could talk about this (in this elegant way) and share it here. I hope it will reach tons of people. Thank you :)

    @maryvila5141@maryvila51413 жыл бұрын
  • Wat is it you've always thought was wrong and do not speak out about?... Make yourself useful! Beautiful lady. Wisdom & experience can't be bought.

    @thearodriguez8268@thearodriguez82686 жыл бұрын
  • Loved the speech.... I'm a Carer work with elderly... And I really do Care... And I really do feel Love about my clients... But normally they don't accept your efforts/ your tenderness help ...Different reasons for that happens but most of all they don't accept their selfs, their age..they are angry . they did not "prepare " themselves to get old.... if is that possible ( I don't Know)

    @marisaalvares2685@marisaalvares26854 жыл бұрын
  • thanks so much for a powerful thoughtful courageous talk , we tend to fall in the pitfalls we unconsciously created

    @raftal08@raftal088 жыл бұрын
  • If you have peace of mind and have had a lifetime of happiness and if you have lots of great experiences then you dont fear old age. If however you feel like you are missing out on life and you havent had a life of great experiences then old age is a dreadful thought because you feel the pressure of time, you are aware that you dont have much time to turn things around and a life of regret. Agree ?

    @justmadeit2@justmadeit26 жыл бұрын
    • absolutely

      @RababaInc@RababaInc4 жыл бұрын
  • i’m 13 and i’m not scared of getting old i’m scared that i’m gonna be poor and homeless and that my parents will die one day and all my family will die and i’ll be the only one left:(

    @lys1955@lys19554 жыл бұрын
    • honestly both for me

      @zenzti5620@zenzti56202 жыл бұрын
    • @@-galaxy-2750 for real but I try to move away from it and enjoy life while dying slowly but knowing I’m still young😓

      @zenzti5620@zenzti56202 жыл бұрын
    • @@-galaxy-2750 I’m mostly not ready for my parents to go yet

      @zenzti5620@zenzti56202 жыл бұрын
    • @@-galaxy-2750 lol

      @zenzti5620@zenzti56202 жыл бұрын
    • @@-galaxy-2750 lol

      @zenzti5620@zenzti56202 жыл бұрын
  • I’m 11 and getting scared of getting older I’m crying and worrying the reason why I’m scared is because I know I won’t be able to go back and relive a moment and more

    @redtrevino87@redtrevino873 жыл бұрын
    • Oh wow. Don’t worry about things like that when you’re just 11! Trust me, live life normally 😂 I’m 18 and life’s great, I look back on memories like that and smile!!! Just be yourself

      @mysu3777@mysu37773 жыл бұрын
    • My sister is 9 and feels like that

      @cristian7470@cristian74703 жыл бұрын
  • Its all about the feeling of purpose and celebration of aliveness - life is multidimensional and you have to live with a purpose of giving yourself to life and joy of life -

    @lisengel2498@lisengel24986 жыл бұрын
    • this speaks to me so much. I'm gonna be 32 this year, sometimes I'm so concerned when I'm thinking about aging, the reality where you might get so weak that you become so dependable to others and vulnerable, I dunno, but thanks for the beautiful word.

      @nandananda8059@nandananda80593 жыл бұрын
    • At 72 I was not enlightened or uplifted by this video. However, your comment is exactly where my spirit is!

      @graceliljeblom1436@graceliljeblom14362 жыл бұрын
  • Very good!! Yes, it all starts with self-love! I'm a senior citizen who lives alone with two cats after 42 years of marriage. But I love being single again and luckily have grown daughters and two granddaughters and we all try and stay as close as we can. They've flown the nest and I don't feel that lonely because I'm connected to community, write in a gratitude journal and also meditate. Being close to nature also helps and having lots of interests. I have MS but just use a cane and am a partially blind professional artist and I'm enjoying painting after retiring...keeping busy helps along with helping others if one can ...we can all donate old clothes in good condition and go through our pantries and pass on non perishable food items to others in need. I don't have the energy I used to have and was also a fitness trainer at one point, but MS is an energy depleting chronic disease which can be reversed if one lives a clean life, exercises, takes necessary vitamins and herbs and one doesn't smoke, drink too much and get lots of sleep which is really super important for all..it's very healing as well. My MS was in remission for 25 years and only got a bit worst in the last few years. I had two grandmothers and one of them lived into old age and never had any fear of growing older..one is as old as they feel like they say! KEEP A SENSE OF HUMOR ALSO HELPS BIG TIME!! Thanks for sharing~

    @brendadrew834@brendadrew8346 жыл бұрын
    • Thanks. I am so scared of getting old.

      @mitch5222@mitch52222 жыл бұрын
    • @@mitch5222 Nothing you can do about getting older but you and all of us can adjust our thinking/feeling about it! Some days I hate getting older, my mind is almost as sharp as when I was in my 20s and 30s, I still "Feel young at heart", but the bod has a bit of trouble keeping up with that! Keep a going and keep the faith! Stay as positive as you can! Negativity only brings one down! Don't want to go there! Connect with nature as it's very healing along with all the arts and our beloved furbabies, too! Keep connected with them and friends and family as well! We're all one and in this together. You're not alone in your feelings! Blessed be- peace, love and namaste~

      @brendadrew834@brendadrew8342 жыл бұрын
    • @@brendadrew834 thanks. Honestly i dont see any point in this life. I have some health problems already. Whats the point of this life? Everyday struggling even to wake up and beeing alone for the rest of my life. I wish i have never been born.

      @mitch5222@mitch52222 жыл бұрын
    • @@mitch5222 Hey, some days I feel the same way! Again, you''re not alone in this respect! You have millions of people worldwide who feel the same way. But, these feelings of dread can come and go in waves! Think of the people suffering in Ukraine right now and all those millions of homeless refugees and little innocent children and babies. I'm sure they sometimes feel the same way. They have to all keep their spirits up! Healing music helps! That's in their souls, too! "No one gets a free ride here"! Best wishes, don't lose hope! Keep the faith, no matter what your personal religious beliefs may be!

      @brendadrew834@brendadrew8342 жыл бұрын
    • @@brendadrew834 thanks. At least you are honest. Lots of ppl for example saying not afraid of getting old age but looking videos just like that. I just dont see myself happy in anyway. Nothing interest me. I am tired what ppl have to go through lots of problems in life. And i dont see how can i be happy when old. Isnt old age more complicated? More health problems, closer to death, etc. .. i just cant stand this life really, i tried everything to come from my depression, but i see living not enjoyable in any way possible. Everyday wake up to go to work and trying to keep busy to forget how dangerous this life is. I am just not made for this world and i know i should grow up. I just dont know. I just dont know how ppl can make it and i dont.

      @mitch5222@mitch52222 жыл бұрын
  • Great useful speech and also beautifully delivered, I agree on every thing you said ! Thank You Scilla ✨

    @risateealtrerisate@risateealtrerisate3 жыл бұрын
  • Lovely speech. A lot of wisdom for people of all ages to consider and use if you develop the strategy to become strong and use it

    @hoffmancapote@hoffmancapote5 жыл бұрын
  • Beautiful. Thank you.

    @Oraklet_v@Oraklet_v7 жыл бұрын
  • Beauty is what makes me hate aging. Looking at old photos of girls who once were so beautiful they could make your heart stop, but who lost it as they lost their youth. At the same time, though, since our time here is counted, it makes it more precious to us. That ain't a bad thing, but it does not make up for the downsides.

    @joelbackman8330@joelbackman83305 жыл бұрын
    • Then you don’t get it yet. Nothing is lost. There is beauty in withered hands, beauty in wrinkled, care worn faces because life is so short, fragile and fraught with struggle and danger. None of us ever get enough time and the currency of youth is fleeting. But, those of us who made it into existence are the fortunate ones. Regret is useless, savor every wrinkle and gray hair!

      @sarablakey9445@sarablakey94452 жыл бұрын
  • 53. “Getting old is all about losing all the things that you accumulated during your lifetime.” But I agree with you that old age is the time to speak out, --to our progeny specifically, and society in general.

    @jamesfrancom8100@jamesfrancom81002 жыл бұрын
  • I like her hair! I'm 49 and I decided recently to stop paying a fortune on highlights and stop dyeing my hair! It blew my mind that I'd never considered that this was a possibility. When I was younger, I felt my hair color was too dull and needed more brightness and then as I got older I felt the grey hairs needed to be covered up. It feels liberating to not have to go to the hairdressers to get this done anymore and as far as I can see, I don't have that much grey hair so I'll still be able to see my natural color. The point is there's nothing wrong with showing your grey to the world. It's part of who you are and I don't understand why people don't want to see their natural color while it's still there regardless of how much grey they have. Be yourself!

    @undercoverhamster2549@undercoverhamster25493 жыл бұрын
  • It's odd...we all have some trepidation about getting older, yet if a genie offered that we could go back to 1st grade and do it all over again, few of us would do it. :-)

    @Burps___@Burps___8 жыл бұрын
    • Yeah, not like real life! After a long season of NFL, NBA, NHL, the last things fans want to do is endure ANOTHER SEASON of football , Hockey, Basketball, after they already watched a LONG season of it!!! This was Sarcasm if you couldn't figure that out.

      @bluejackscanada@bluejackscanada8 жыл бұрын
    • @I'mRichAndSkinny Yeah, I think I would too but i'd make out I was a child prodigy or freak so that I wouldn't have to go to school!

      @undercoverhamster2549@undercoverhamster25493 жыл бұрын
    • What about the looks. I am afraid i wont find my partner atractive.

      @mitch5222@mitch52222 жыл бұрын
    • True, what a downgrade that would be. We didn't struggle through all the hard times just to do it over. I never want to take my exams over again

      @-simplicity7551@-simplicity7551 Жыл бұрын
  • Thank you for the heart to heart talk.

    @lilliangray3651@lilliangray36515 жыл бұрын
  • Well, I am so inspired by this gracious lady. Her manner of communication, reassurance and pure wisdom is truly inspiring. I really do want to know you better, Scilla. Thank you

    @dianahughes8729@dianahughes8729 Жыл бұрын
  • Good talk. I'm 34 and going bald, it's is taking over my life worrying about it and really tiring me out. I need to accept it, but it is hard.

    @europa1387@europa13874 жыл бұрын
    • God bless you

      @undercoverhamster2549@undercoverhamster25493 жыл бұрын
    • I guess youve tried things like Manual?

      @superfreakmusic7681@superfreakmusic7681 Жыл бұрын
  • I'm afraid of excitement and the future of my life ending, I don't want it to end, I want to have the future always ahead of me.

    @lunantix@lunantix2 жыл бұрын
  • What a wonderful talk 💛 YES! Thankyou for sharing your insights and wisdom.

    @hellefreude5086@hellefreude50863 жыл бұрын
  • I am 74, and getting old beats death for the moment. Many who died, wished they could have lived to be old. Some are killed before birth.

    @acajudi100@acajudi1007 жыл бұрын
    • acajudi100 do you mean abortion?

      @mz.dfwm107noneyurbusiness6@mz.dfwm107noneyurbusiness65 жыл бұрын
    • I just turned 60 and I totally agree! At least my mother let me live and I've had a wonderful life and my death is ever before me. It's good to be aware that your days are numbered. It helps you make the most of them. NO ONE is promised tomorrow! Have you looked at pictures of the Saints? Often they have a skull close by. Skulls aren't just for Goths or Hells Angels, they are good for everyone. Ash to Ash, dust to dust......for everyone!

      @grannygoes7882@grannygoes78825 жыл бұрын
    • .... and many who are suffering in life, wish they could be dead. Life is not necessarily better than death. Everyone has their own perspective.

      @yippee2000@yippee20005 жыл бұрын
    • Getting older is a fact of life. Everyone gets the chance to be young and those young now, if they live long enough will get old - fact. No one escapes it. So, we just have accept it graciously, take the best care of ourselves that we can and enjoy the ride while doing our best to prepare and get ready for the journey into elderlyville and once we get their keep living and enjoying life as we have it the best we can. Oh, and be thankful that we've made it thus far.

      @realrosesforever3847@realrosesforever38474 жыл бұрын
    • some? Millions. Liberitarians destroy life before its time

      @lunafringe10@lunafringe104 жыл бұрын
  • I fear my husband not wanting me anymore. Beauty is awesome but youth always wins when it comes to attractiveness. And maybe it’s also pstd from my husband also having inappropriate relationships with younger women at work.

    @gypsytears1785@gypsytears17852 жыл бұрын
  • Great advice: meditate for peace of mind and self love, capacity to smile. "I am never lonely although I live alone" Great woman with power. Thank you!

    @womenwithpower@womenwithpower5 жыл бұрын
  • I loved your TEDx speech, I love the way you think and speak, and how you have put it into words.. such a beauty of a life.. Thank you ....

    @shelleymarjerrison8517@shelleymarjerrison8517 Жыл бұрын
  • I love this woman's talks.

    @Ruby_V_@Ruby_V_11 жыл бұрын
  • Such a great talk and an even more amazing woman!

    @skiliminy@skiliminy11 жыл бұрын
  • You don’t need to look younger just look the best you can for you’re age.

    @gailcrowe727@gailcrowe7272 жыл бұрын
  • Beautiful message. Energy never gets old.

    @NinesCatudio@NinesCatudio5 жыл бұрын
  • Omgoodness! Bravo Thank you

    @lovebythemoon5230@lovebythemoon52305 жыл бұрын
  • This is beautiful!! Thank You!!!🙏💕

    @revsararobin@revsararobin2 жыл бұрын
  • thank you for your honesty and transparency...

    @stephaniedegange2737@stephaniedegange27376 жыл бұрын
  • Thank you Scilla for sharing your beautiful light and wisdom with us. Your words touched a deep core in me. I've begun to start to feel the invisibility as I age more. I bought into the beauty myth at such a young age, but it's not the truth for any of us. It is our energy, our vitality, how we animate our body that matters most. It is our thoughts, words, deeds, and how we move through the world and connect with our inner wisdom and light. Yes, it is so important to be true to ourselves and to speak this truth. Many Blessings.

    @emilythesongbird2306@emilythesongbird23067 жыл бұрын
    • Thank you for your sharing.

      @jinchen8859@jinchen88593 ай бұрын
  • very beautiful woman. .inside and outside

    @desertrosedesertrose8696@desertrosedesertrose86967 жыл бұрын
    • No she's hot af.

      @shanenelson3863@shanenelson38634 жыл бұрын
    • @@shanenelson3863 LOL!

      @undercoverhamster2549@undercoverhamster25493 жыл бұрын
    • @@shanenelson3863 no for real!

      @circumcizednun1814@circumcizednun18142 жыл бұрын
  • Thank you Going grey is very liberating as it knowing we have a purpose and our time here on earth 🌏 is very very short Make it count

    @heathermarykell3063@heathermarykell30636 жыл бұрын
  • Wow! Such words of insight and modern day wisdom

    @deboradavidson9123@deboradavidson91234 жыл бұрын
  • Brothers and Sisters work not too hard on our image, but instead work on a deeper understanding of our characteristics,sharpen to enlighten our moods & energy, also work on personal insecurities to let go of our past .

    @scaoticvlogs7238@scaoticvlogs7238 Жыл бұрын
    • Wonderful! Best comment yet. Still scrolling. Yes, I feel our 'Mental' Health is most important. Growing/evolving never ends while we're still here because we've lived longer and our ideas about everything do change also. It's also a lot of work to leave our past in the past, if we feel empty inside/not really living alive~ sometimes we tend to keep reliving all the memories, especially when we no longer have as many goals towards the future. But, if we've witnessed these things happening in our life- that our thoughts do create our reality, than it's much easier to change the thinking/thoughts that are not making us feel good. It seems as we get more 'seasoned' in life (I've come to like that word better than senior or elder😊) on releasing Fear and giving ourselves as much Self-love as possible really works. It's so much easier to see others and also the world, in a much better light & spread more love~ When fear turns into love. This is a daily practice in my own life. It's not always easy to get it right, but what we 'think' about (Mostly focus on--good/positive or bad/negative) we do get more of. Our thinking will definitely affect how our outer world looks and feels to us. And if we can make a daily list of whatever is working right in our life, (simple things we get enjoyment from) 'Gratitude" can be a game changer. Let's choose to FEEL good right where we are, and whatever age we may be! Love & blessings to all ~💗🙏💞

      @tina74166@tina741663 ай бұрын
  • Brilliant, thanks

    @Planet_Jeremy@Planet_Jeremy6 жыл бұрын
  • I am afraid to look in the mirror as an old man and regret how i lived my life. - I am 17 :/

    @hai21iko@hai21iko3 жыл бұрын
    • Same

      @SmashGamerHD@SmashGamerHD3 жыл бұрын
    • YOLOOOO

      @mysu3777@mysu37773 жыл бұрын
    • I think about being in my grave, being 80, I am 16 😐

      @spongebob8157@spongebob81573 жыл бұрын
    • Exactly the same for me :/

      @Bitrey@Bitrey2 жыл бұрын
    • @@spongebob8157 same but 13

      @Tvtardy@Tvtardy2 жыл бұрын
  • Vibrancy and energy is important.

    @keepaneyeonspring6328@keepaneyeonspring63282 ай бұрын
  • I’m 50+, I take care of myself for myself..... I’ve never cared what others think.... I’ve never cared about being a certain image of being seen in the world. So there are a lot of confident strong women who take care of themselves for themselves not to portray a certain image in the community

    @shanze5591@shanze55913 жыл бұрын
    • Love this!

      @laurenharper2789@laurenharper27892 жыл бұрын
    • Im gonna cry right now..I am not handling it very well

      @cellardoor6016@cellardoor6016 Жыл бұрын
  • Great message , thank you

    @paulinewhalen6761@paulinewhalen67615 жыл бұрын
  • cant stop listening this TED talk, so much valuable and the message is just great..

    @Sirius13jhp@Sirius13jhp11 жыл бұрын
  • “There is no greater illusion than fear, no greater wrong than preparing to defend yourself, no greater misfortune than having an enemy. Whoever can see through all fear will always be safe” ― Lao Tze in Tao te Ching

    @tjmulligan@tjmulligan4 жыл бұрын
  • beautifully said

    @mohamedk3541@mohamedk35414 жыл бұрын
  • If you fear age you really haven't came full circle in life. When you are TRULY happy, tears of joy happy the first thing that goes is age and money. I no longer think about age at all. Iris Apfel who is 97 says she does not even think about age at all! I don't fear age, the only thing I fear is not being happy.

    @mjohnson1741@mjohnson17414 жыл бұрын
  • It is not bad to age...what is bad is the attitude of the younger to feel entitled to abuse the older

    @fruitfullane9805@fruitfullane98052 жыл бұрын
  • I just turned 18 and im scared that growing up will make my lose all the hobbies and interests im into now

    @awesomeaaron369@awesomeaaron3692 жыл бұрын
  • This was beautiful, like a poem or a sermon from a wise elder. I learned alot and gave me perspectives new to me. Thankyou madame. 😊

    @thekajalflaneur@thekajalflaneur Жыл бұрын
  • She's a wonderful speaker. You are compelled to hear her. And she's not invisible at all.

    @senamit202@senamit2025 жыл бұрын
  • Wow, what a wonderful way of looking at growing older, I really enjoyed this!

    @greatruaha@greatruaha5 жыл бұрын
  • well done! Scilla

    @giuseppev6872@giuseppev687210 жыл бұрын
  • I'm gonna try n embrace this.

    @missredumbrella@missredumbrella6 жыл бұрын
  • Im worried cause i know some of our loved ones, friends etc., will be gone. It hunts me every goddamn day. Im making a lot of memories rn so i have a lot to remonisce when i sit in that rocking chair.

    @sillyj698@sillyj6983 жыл бұрын
  • Don't freak in the future I am 60 and I take it one day at a time everything in moderation and realize everyone you see is going through something so be kind and understanding .Life is short.

    @missadda8890@missadda8890 Жыл бұрын
  • Amazing talk. You are gorgeous inside and out! When my Nana was sick in the hospital she enjoyed being taken care of and waited on hand and foot in there. My parents were trying to figure out how to get her out of there & My mother said “just tell her, her roots are showing”. I am just like my Nana… Lol

    @mulliganstew72@mulliganstew722 жыл бұрын
  • She's right, everyone wants to be useful.

    @lavenderhearts101@lavenderhearts1017 жыл бұрын
    • useful to whom and what?

      @lunafringe10@lunafringe104 жыл бұрын
    • @@lunafringe10 I think that's different for each person.

      @lavenderhearts101@lavenderhearts1014 жыл бұрын
  • Brilliant.

    @margueritecurtis2168@margueritecurtis21684 жыл бұрын
  • The fear of Going gray and getting wrinkles is so big inside of me. Like i am terrified so much that death seems less scary than becoming old..

    @user-sv4vi2iw4g@user-sv4vi2iw4g5 жыл бұрын
  • This gave me chills.

    @ah-dn7mt@ah-dn7mt2 жыл бұрын
  • She is great.

    @MrSudsawat@MrSudsawat6 жыл бұрын
  • Interesting and informative! Thank you for sharing 👏

    @dzovigounjian6372@dzovigounjian6372 Жыл бұрын
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