📝 Show Notes
Some of these jokes may test you! We weren't even sure that lots of them should make the final video but then we realised... they are jokes! It's the third episode from our teams edition!
Captions are available and they took so long so feel free to use them 😂 keep dropping your best jokes in the comments! We love reading them.
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#wegotthechocolates #podcast #jokes #dadjokes
My local baker was arrested for drug dealing. Incredible. 5 years I was a customer and never knew he's a baker.
Ssshhh! The cops will come after you next.
@@gurjindersingh3843 Is that before or after my priest cums after me? *joke intended, not sure how it's gonna land.*
Bet he had a high turnover
What seems to be the officer, problem?
thanks for the laugh
A woman places an ad in the local newspaper. “Looking for a man with three qualifications: won’t beat me up, won’t run away from me, and is great in bed.” Two days later her doorbell rings. “Hi, I’m Tim. I have no arms so I won’t beat you, and no legs so I won't run away.” “What makes you think you are great in bed?” the woman retorts. Tim replies, “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”
That was deep.
I'm so sad that nobody laughed when Eloise said "mine are dry, I'm not gonna get much response tonight". That was the best unintentional joke of the night XD
It cracks me up that Michael laughs at so many of his own jokes. That would be me after drinking like they do. Once the giggles start, there is no stopping them. Glad i found this channel. Keep up the good work. Laughter can make a bad day good.
It took me 100 steps to get to the bar and 1000 steps to get home.... the difference was staggering.
A man is going through customs entering Australia The man behind the desk asks him "Do you have a criminal record?" The man replies "No, I didn't know that was still a requirement."
That made me wheeze, that's a good one 🤣🤣🤣
"Do you have a criminal record?" No, but I've got a Police CD.
@@PhilMeUpBaby Every breath you take, And every move you make, Every bond you break, Every step you take, I'll be watching you! 😜
that's where i thought it was going - something about vinyl @@PhilMeUpBaby
LOL Good one!! Thanks!!
These videos are helping me slowly build up an arsenal of dad jokes to whip out whenever. Great content, I love the channel! Please keep it up 😂
whip it out? there's a joke right there...lol
I will second that ,😁
@@leo7630 BYOING!!!!!
Just as long as that's all you whip out...
Maybe be original?
I wanted to adopt a kid, so I went to the orphan website. And there was no home page.
Michael's (slightly delayed) reaction to the Cinderella joke is PURE GOLD! We Got the Chocolates is the best group of people!
I feel like his partners reactions aren't helping him at all with the not laughing part.
I am disappointed he said gag instead of making a gagging sound
@@franknagle617 yeah that what everyone else does when saying this joke.
“Thats exactly the point, yeah. Thats the joke” had me in TEARS 😂😂 a masterpiece of a video guys, thanks!
HHhaha I needed some help there 😂
I always love it when they have to explain the jokes to each other.
It’s a tradition every once in a while to come back and watch this video. Great work team! 😂😂
I love this channel and especially this format BUT... 10 years of English lessons in Germany didn't prepare me for a bunch of relaxed and chill australian dudes because unfortunately I only understand roughly 60% of all that's said... And therefore I miss some jokes... Anyways! Keep on doing what you're doing.
..especially because they are aussies too.. …oi…
Don’t feel bad - I’m a native English speaker from the US and I understood about 75%. I’ll definitely be adding ‘the giggly Aussie’ to my list of hard-to-follow English speech - along with ‘the irritated Scotsman’, ‘the drunk Bostonian’, the ‘excited southerner’ and the ‘SoCal surfer bro’.
Don't feel bad. Back in the days I did an exchange year in the US and no less than three "English learning trips" to England. After university I lived in the US for two years. I consider my English to be rather good to say the least, especially for a German. Yet, I still have trouble understanding everything these Aussies here say. I have to focus on what's said and the problem is not vocabulary - it's difficult for us to realize when one word ends and the next one starts. It's a bit like chewing gum, a bit like the southern US - but worse. That said, I hope they never change. Any more effort in clearer English would just reduce the hilarity of videos like this and thus is not an option. 'straya gon' be 'straya.
Don’t feel bad… I wrote the captions for it and there were parts I had to listen to 12 times
Grape wall of china
What's worse than having a dead squirrel on your piano? Having a diseased beaver on your organ.
😮😂
@WeGotTheChocolates You guys really need to put out more of these Team Challenge videos, especially the adult edition. These are by far the best you've ever done :D
Laughter is infectious! You guys have made the natural endorphins flow in my brain and made today just a little more bearable. Keep up the good work and Thankyou
E
Please stop. I'm still getting over an infection.
I saw a one-armed man at the second-hand store the other day... I had to tell him, "I don't think you're gonna find what you're looking for, buddy."😂
Warrior: I swear I will have revenge for the death of my brother Elf: You have my bow Dwarf: And my axe Necromancer: And your brother
😂
Who would've thought a bunch of friends sitting around telling Dad jokes could be compulsory viewing. Love it guys & girls,keep them coming.
That Guinness book of record joke always cracks me up 😂😂
That's the best joke I've ever heard in my life).
@@gourabbisoi2849he initially said he's dick is in guiness book of world record. You will initially think that he has something in his d that broke a record but then when he said the librarian asked him to take it out. It means he literally put his d inside a world record book in while in the library
@@user-qm7ds6nh9dJOKE: For years my friend thought he was straight untill he realised he's been making love to a man eversince puberty...I really have to HAND it to him...
@@gourabbisoi2849 He took his penis out and laid it in the book. Then the librarian saw it and told him to take his penis out of the book. Do you get the joke now?
@@gourabbisoi2849No. No I cannot.
"Kobe shouldve flown Air Jordan", so fucking good haha and how it was too soon for the crowd, perfection.
Haha goodness me I have been waiting for another episode to pop out, and you blokes do not fail to make me crack up. Walking the plank cracked me up so hard. Well done boys.
I got it as well! But can you explain it to the rest of the audience?
I didn;t understand that one.
What's better than roses on the piano? Tulips on the organ.
What has four legs and one arm? A Rottweiler in a children‘s playground.
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I’ll be damned if I know how they got in there.
Eloise not understanding the assignment was adorably charming!!😂
You'd have to say 🛑😮 "Stop in the name of love "😅
It'll be a hard time tonight. I'll never live it down. It's a tough row to go on tonight.
To the lady of the night, who last Saturday night, applauded me for my performance in the back of my car, thank you for the clap.
I’ve suffered with depression this year but your videos remind me of myself love it. I’ve even robbed the Liberian joke. It’s a winner all walks of life. ❤
Just discovered this channel. Absolutely love it!! Hilarious and such a nice vibe. Feels like I’m invited to your living room just to chill and have a laugh…or ten…😂🙌🏻
yeah funny sturv
What do you call a magician who’s lost his magic…… Ian
An elderly man goes into confession and says to the priest, "Father, I'm 80 years old, married, have four kids and 11 grandchildren, and last night I had an affair and I made love to two 18 year old girls. Both of them twice." The priest said: "Well, my son, when was the last time you were in confession?" "Never Father, I'm Jewish." "So then, why are you telling me?" "I'm telling everybody”
Explaining their jokes to each other was funnier than the jokes themselves.
this was awesome, worth the wait, please keep doing these, so funny words can’t explain, nice work all :)
If you did two hours of these a day, I’d binge watch every minute. Even the bad ones make me laugh. I’m a sucker for a really bad pun. I’m not satisfied unless I’ve gotten two or more people to cringe! 😆
Amazing to hear legend!
I love dad jokes, that's why Norm Macdonald is my favorite comedian.
OK then, what’s the difference between a baked bean and a chickpea… I once had a baked bean on my face, but…
@@roberthardy2013 😂🤣. That’s a GREAT one!
Dwarf in our office kept getting sent to HR for sexual harassment. Every time a woman walked past him he’d say “your hair smells nice”
Came across this at 1:30 AM and instant subscribe.....bruh these r too good lmao
Two nuns are riding their bikes through St. Peter's Square. The first one says "I've never come this way before" and the second one says "It's the cobblestones"
Two nuns in the bath. One says ‘Where’s the soap?’ The other replies, ‘Yes, it does, doesn’t it’.
@@nickc4716 ?
@@heavysleeperassclapper6054 the second nun thought the first had said “Wear’s the soap”. Doesn’t work so well written down.
Three nuns sitting on a park bench when a streaker runs past. Two nuns had a stroke, the other one couldn't reach.
Two monkeys in a bath. One says ooh ooh aah aah, the other one says ok put some more cold in then!
I told my parents I wanted a watch for Christmas… …so they let me
Oldie but goldie… ‘Snow White thought 7Up was a soft drink until she met the dwarves’
I had a fantastic time watching that. Thanks guys!
A cheeseburger walks into a bar and orders a beer. Barkeep says, “Sorry. We don’t serve food.”
American sergeant yells at Aussie recruit:" DID YOU COME HERE TO DIE???" Recruit from Down Under:"Nah' mate, I came 'ere yesterday." I hope I got it right. Greetings from Germany.
😂
I am a multiple cancer survivor and that first one was freaking awesome, I am going to use it at a conference I speak at next time, you guys are FF!
You guys are the best I’ve almost finished watching the dad jokes series, wishing you guys a Merry Christmas from Canada
What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you use a feather, and perverted is when you use the whole bird
You can't fix crazy. But you can have some amazing sex with it!
Tf🤣
What do you call a deaf gynecologist? A lip reader
Finally the world record joke is here! That got my laughing bag to burst!
That last joke, really cracks me up! 🤣
That's the best joke
🤣Oh my golly, that was a good one!
That "ball for his dog" one got me.
I send you guys to a lot of my friends to watch. I really enjoy this. Hello from north east Montana, USA. 10 miles from the Canadian border.
I rewatched this 3 times already lol so funny. Thanks everyone lol
I've watched this one around 7 times now. 8 including tonight.
I love you guys telling these jokes, keep 'em coming :)
Cmon over, we can come too ! 😋 yummy
I bought a Lottery Ticket today. If a win, the next time I go to McDonalds when I buy a Hamburger I'm getting Cheese on it....
-What happen when you put an egg on the microwave? -That explode? -No, that you pinch the other with the door.
Ouch!
Christmas time I bought a tree from a local shop. The young lady asked if I was putting it up myself? I said, no I was thinking of putting it in the lounge😅😄😃🤣
Love your stuff, been watching for a few months now over up here in Texas. Here's some for you guys "The oldest computer was owned by Adam and Eve, it was built with limited memory, one bite and everything crashed". and "I joined the gym and asked my trainer which machine would help me get girls. He said I should try the ATM machine inside."
Found this channel late last night, and it’s my new favourite 🤣🤣🤣🇨🇦
Two guys walk into a bar... You'd think the second guy would've ducked. lol
Lol love how Charlie delivers all his jokes from memory lol
Watching Mick, often in vain, try and hold back laughter can often be hakf the fun of this. 😂😂😂
A baby seal walked into a club...
Michael trying to tell jokes, but laughing before getting to the end of the joke…funniest thing I have ever seen 😂
the worst hotel I ever stayed in was called “The Fiddle”. It was a vile Inn I was kidnapped by mimes once. they did unspeakable things to me My great grandfather got his tongue shot off in the war. he never talked about it though when I was little my dad would put me in a tire and roll me down a hill. those were good years
Thank you so much for your funny and entertaining Videos. My englisch is getting better and better with your Content. 🤣 BTW i'm a Huge Fan of Jana. She is so beautifully cynical and has a dry humor. Take care guys and i hope you go on with your genius content ;) Cheers from Austria
Love the “why there is no pregnant Barbies” works perfectly fine in Swedish to.
I've just found this channel and this is purr gold
When Meatloaf died, my wife wore his knickers in his honour. On the front it said “I would do anything for love”. On the back it read “ But I won’t do that”
1:50 the immediate moment where in every human brain the joke unfolds in picturing it. is there anyone who cannot picture this? i think thats what makes the joke also that great.
Love it! Keep it going lads!
Michael just can't keep it together. Love him hahahahahahaha
we, the fans, need an edit of just Michael's reactions. god bless him.
He's the best. I might get him to edit that up himself 😂
Did you hear about the guy who dropped glitter in his lap while he was naked? Pretty nuts.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
"It's a good NOTE to end on"- that's even better ending to the Samsung joke 🤣
omg you guys are legends, I'm dying!
That drug dealer joke got me good. Michael may have laughed at everything, but that joke was great and had excellent delivery!
I'm in a theatrical performance on puns, it's a play on words
What do you call a dog with no back legs and steel balls??......sparky!!!!😅🤣😅🤣🤣😅🤣
Very good channel 👍☺️ Keep doing what you are doing now. May you all be successful!❤️
Febe's smile and laugh are contagious. New subscriber as these videos are hilarious.
Beethoven didn't only decompose in his grave, he also rolled over ...
And that what you get for thinking. Nothing but a chuckle.
Props to whomever captioned the Terry Wrists. Legend.
My therapist said my dyslexia problem was not as bad as first thought. This was music to my arse.
This was funny less because of the jokes themselves than because these blokes are hammered and find getting the jokes wrong hilarious. I can't help but join in :)
Hilarious. Loved it 👍
Love all your vids!
0:25 I heard this joke on the radio of all places, and it got the DJ's into big trouble, It was one of those morning comedy programs and they were having people call in with jokes. They had a delay of a few seconds in case someone cussed and they should have bleeped this jokes punch line, but because the woman who called sounded really sweet and innocent the DJ's took longer than the delay to get the joke. This program was really popular with kids and they would typically listen as they were getting ready for school. It was even funnier because they sat there for several seconds trying to figure out why Ken coming in a different box would keep Barbie from getting pregnant before one of them said a word that also should have been bleeped when he realized that the box Ken came in was not made of cardboard. It was a really big deal in the area. It made the news, the DJs nearly got fired and the station was fined by the FCC. The DJs went from having a several second delay to a several minutes long delay.
I know that’s inappropriate for a kid popular station and unprofessional but I would of been pmsl 😅
(translated from german, hope it works) A catholic priest and a Rabbi were hiking in the Mountains. It was hot and so they decided to take a Bath in the small Lake. Since there was no one around and they didn't had bathing Boxers they went in all naked. just as they left the Lake a Group of female Hikers came along. Quickly the Priest covered his best Bits with his Hands, only to realise that the Rabbi covered his Face with the hands instead of his Bits. As the female Hikers passed and went out of Sight he asked the Rabbi: "Why on Earth do you cover your Face instead of anything else?" "Well," the Rabbi replied, "I don't know how your Part of the religious Business works, but my People know me by my Face..."
I love to eat out at Wendy's, i just hate all the guys staring at me while I'm waiting for my turn.
Hahahahaha good 😂
This is my favorite video. Some good jokes and reactions in this one.
One of the best Dad jokes ever this one… Hope you guys like it and try it out in a video. Sooo, a few years back I was doing it tough and needed to make some money quick sharp. Decided to set up a chicken dating website. Had to give it away after a while tho…. “I was struggling to make hens meet”
What's green and smells like a pig? Kermit's finger.
Hahaha boom 😂
Why did Santa and Mrs. Claus never have any kids? Because Santa only comes once a year.
And that's down the chimney...
Came here for the Gilchrist book on the shelf, stayed for the jokes and awesome people!
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey But then I turned myself around
From the late great Norm MacDonald: A woman has been in a coma for weeks. The desperate husband finally asks, "Doc, there's gotta be something we can do...what can we try?" Doctor replies, "You could try having oral sex with her. I've seen it work." Man was aghast but agrees, "Well, I'm willing to try. Modern medicine and all that, sure" He goes into his wife's room. But he soon comes right back out just 2 minutes later. "Doc! She keeps choking!"
Hahahhahahahahha
On the Barbie theme... What is the most expensive Barbie? ......................... Divorced Barbie . She comes with Ken's car, Ken's house, Ken's......
Did you know that the guy that invented the knock-knock joke, won the no-bell prize?
here’s a dad joke i found: why shouldn’t you tell secrets in the garden? because potatoes have eyes, corn has ears and beanstalk
That’s good! I’m stealing it :p
I love to watch leigh laugh It is so genuine
The cricket trophies at the back reminds me of my dad's wall, he is a cricketer too, I love this channel for one more reason now 💟
Love your channel! These videos are a delight. Here's a joke for you. So my girlfriend found out she was adopted recently. She's devastated. After comforting her a while she asked me to make love to her, but she just cried even more. On reflection, banging her from behind and shouting, "Who's your Daddy", was a bit insensitive.