After touching a strange summon sign, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 are the one who ends up being sent to the realm of a nameless undead, who is often found sitting by a bonfire waiting for those in need of rest, relaxation, and sleep.
00:00:00 Parry and Riposte
00:00:16 Praise the Sun!
00:01:55 Where Are You?
00:04:14 Why Are You Here?
00:05:23 Wrong Number
00:06:55 This Nameless Undead's Purpose
00:09:50 A Hollow's Dagger
00:14:59 A Word of Warning
00:15:32 The Chainmail Gauntlet Treatment
00:16:49 This Nameless Undead's True Calling
00:17:39 The White Sign Soapstone Tapping Treatment
00:21:09 Remembering an Old Friend
00:23:52 This Nameless Undead's Story
00:28:03 The Iron Helmet Treatment
00:30:39 Riposte or Riposte?
00:31:29 RSTT Red Sign Soapstone Tapping Treatment
00:34:13 RSWSSTM Red Sign & White Sign Soapstones Treatment Method
00:37:41 Care for some Estus?
00:38:22 EFR Estus Flask Relaxation
00:42:47 The Light Crossbow Treatment
00:46:34 The Crossbow Bolt Treatment
00:52:02 The Chainmail Coif Treatment
01:00:20 A Bonfireside Chat
01:10:00 Farewell for Now...
Arkham Sanitarium / Rift World 101: bit.ly/2JxoVcf
Listen to selected works outside of KZhead:
Spotify ► bit.ly/1V23U60
CDBaby ► bit.ly/1AUt3Jj
iTunes ► apple.co/1xIHLNd
Patreon ► bit.ly/1EZgmNi
Website: ephemeralrift.com
"Parry" "riposte" "parry" "riposte" "strafe" "strafe" strafe" "backstab" The guy he's fighting: FUUUUUU-
Sorry but I have to. Riposte, repost is what an unoriginal redditor does.
King_of_ Kicking maybe he’s practicing his reposting
Sorry but I have to. Riposte, repost is what an unoriginal commenter does.
Just imagine the quietest and chilliest guy on the planet like Ephemeral fighting someone who's the complete opposite; screaming in agony. 😂
@@kingleaf2932 damn you beat me to it😭
[ You have been invaded by Dark Spirit xX_Ephemeral_Rift_Xx ]
BRUH
I'd just dip out
Mom! Unplug the router!
It shall be an epic dagger fight of backstabs and ripostes, then!
Me, who has not played a single soulsborne game: 🤨
The perfect asmr doesn't exi- *PARRY* *RIPOSTE*
Strafe, strafe, strafe *_BACKSTAB_*
@@exorjack punishment
@@FA_Machina punishment
@@exorjack punishment
@@sivi1611 BAKING STAB
He definitely could’ve been a character in dark souls, throughout the game he trains and you can either help or ignore him. If you help he’s a summon for a late game boss and thanks you at the end. If you ignore him you find his corpse outside of the boss room
sounds like sigmeyer or solaire
thats literally how all npcs in dark souls are, they end up dying if you dont help them, most die even if you do. Patches is the only one who survives to the end.
Bruh
@@thatchedrooves1204 That guy is an asshole
@@thatchedrooves1204 i wonder how that bastard could survive till the very end of the world
Nameless king: I fear no man Nameless king: but that........ ER: Parry reposte parry reposte strafe strafe strafe backstab Nameless king: it scares me
Nameless can’t be parry’d tho....
Champ gundyr: I don’t fear anything Champ gundyr: but that thing....... ER: parry reposte parry reposte strafe strafe strafe Champ gundyr: it scares me
_ Stars _ when you truly reach divinity nothing is impossible
@@knight6724 ah meet the pyro
At least quote it properly mate. It's "I fear no man"
“Parry, Riposte.. Parry, Riposte” *HE’S TOO DANGEROUS TO BE KEPT ALIVE*
He's also too dangerous to attempt to fight
2 words, 1 legend.
Listen here u little sh**...
Once you figure out the little tricks that parry lords use, they become very easy to attack. For instance, most heavy attacks aren't parryable, so if they are foolish enough to try and parry a heavy attack instead of dodging they might be in for a surprise. Unfortunately tho, they'll just roll away, chug some estus, and sneak a critical hit in that instakills you.
@@procerus4789 u mad bro, im gona parry ur weapon art
Man, Demon's Souls Remake is looking good.
Have you finished it already
Truly
Games are close to looking like this graphically already. I say by 2025.
Trump rule and Biden drools
@@T0mbuc3et why do you have to bring politics into this?
*gives him +5giant's set, mask of the father, and a chaos zwei +5.
THE LEGEND NEVER DIES
GIANTS, GIANTS, GIANTS, BECOME UNSTOPPABLE
WHAT RINGS YOU GOT BITCH?
Don't forget your grass crest shield
imagine a dark souls video where rift just rolls around for an hour straight
69th like
I'd expect a few pots and barrels to be broken for the truest immersion.
Lmao the funny part of it is that it may actually sound good and be relaxing. *various layered sounds of ER rolling around the bonfire in different sets of armor with reverb to make the sound more satisfying*
Wait gameplay or role-play, get it
a bloodring troll host bores you to sleep asmr
He is a true representation of what a parry lord does in his spare time
I'm afraid he might be going hollow...
Peeve is that you...?
E
@tOwOxic what a magnificent purpose
@tOwOxic yes, stomping both the host and invaders as NG+ hodrick on road of sacrifices
Rift : “Ah finally..” Me in my head: “you were trying to cross the border weren’t you?”
Ralof strikes again!
Same as us, and that theif over there.
This really made me want to play skyrim again!
*watching this video to relax while I work* "Good lord, the amount of effort he puts into these is insane. His costume, the fie, the weapons, his dialogue. Its all just so-" *Rift answers a cellphone* "...God I love this man."
I bet the ringtone was the Majula theme.
btw the guy was asking about is another important character from the game bloodborne
Yep, gherman, the first hunter.
@@xleplayVA bruh I thought he said carmen and I actually thought the call was real💀
I was trying to sleep then the invasion sound triggered years of PTSD
Same, visions of giant dad
Im laughing too hard at this
So true 😤😂
I swear to God that I've heard that sound even while not playing.
Kasky Nightblade yea its so weird it happens to me too
Damn, I exhausted this guys long arse dialogue tree, and I didn't even get one gesture
Check the expanded menu, this gave me the rest gesture.
@@vincentpreziuso3597 perfect response
@@vincentpreziuso3597 its a bug, its been updated - you get the Relax gesture and the Snore gesture now too
lol. This is for some reason funny as shit and I don't know why.
Does fire keeper react to this reaction?
When you get an ad while trying to sleep *YOU DIED*
When you get an ad while you are having a dream.*
Praise lord Jesus?
It's really unbelievable how you are everywhere 😂
Tf how u verified
Try BIliBili, an amazing video App without ads
I lost it when he pulled out his phon--I-I mean white soapstone.
iSoap 13
This comment is the best 😂
@@kyousey this comment is perfect 😭😭😭
You’re the npc who’s dialog i wouldn’t skip in a speedrun
Lol an hour long dialogue
@@homiespaghetti1522 true dam
Rip run hello sleep
Riley Kanter heeeell yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*DEEP BREATH*eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Hello brother
4:00 “Yahrnam. That is a tale for another time.” Me: Visibly excited
Hes already done a bloodborne asmr, just in case you didn't know. It's also excellent
@@edwardna156 He's done 2 or 3 for bloodborne!
chagis100 Really? Damn gotta watch those
In fact, he has even done an asmr playthrough of bloodborne
Was corvus in it???
He even managed to make the "Stainless China 440" part fit into the lore, this man is EXTRAORDINARY!
Man said Yarnahm and Germain, I love this so much. He even took the liberty to refer to the chosen undead as "my Lord" and also made himself a lord of cinder
😮
The lack of creepy laughter after every sentence really broke my immersion
Ah I see you've met patches
@@le_mothman or lautrec
@@kiodboi672 does he laugh much? I never found out since I cant hear him from his new home in the bottom of blight town.
Oh... Just you wait till you talk to hawkwood.
@@kiodboi672 or the undead merchant
Just when you think rift can't get better, he does, once again. Incredible
He has not peaked yet
You could say he parried the idea.
You can comment the same in every of his video.
@@NoOne-cs9ws he'll never peak lol he is just always gonna 1 up himself just like my boy J. Cole
No such thought ever crossed my mind yet actually.
"Only in truth, the Lords will abandon their thrones, and the unkindled will rise. Nameless accursed undead, unfit even to be cinder. And so it is that ash seeketh embers..." This leads to my encounter with "The Restfallen man" and our many interactions.
This would make him the most powerful being in the souls universe for the fact he traveled across time, lands and the great ash lake.
Or just patches
@@lucasnorred4198 YOOOOO
He sounds like he could be a character in a souls game, tbh. The dialogue, the voicing, everything is perfect. That’s Uncle E for you.
VA deal when FromSoft?
That was what I loved about the video. The voice acting in the actual game is very similar to this. Mysterious and relaxing voices.
It’s crazy how much he sounds like an actual NPC😂
I gurentee he's played at least played some of the titles. Cause ive played dark souls 2 and 3 and even i feel like like his portrayl is spot on.
@@Ivel94 hes very similar to the guy who steals things
Considering the way Dark Souls npcs talk, this isn't far off.
❤👍🏾
Just needs more chuckles.
It's lacking the laugh at the end of each dialogue.
We need this guy in elder ring, if elden ring exist
@@Miguel-gf7sq what the f... How did you know Elden Ring existed back then? Was It already announced?
This takes me back. I help people in Dark Souls games all the time. I always stumble across an NPC whose voice would make me turn up the volume and listen as if I was actually with them, sitting next to a message some other player written on the ground over a cliff, telling other players to "Hidden path ahead therefore try jumping"
Praise the bonfire and the sites of grace!! \ [T] /
Don't forget the lamps and idols!
i need patches asmr. at the end he kicks you off a ledge.
DaxtonRiggs ‘Patches kicks you off to sleep’
Kicks you into bed
shhhh...a cleric you say? *tap tap tap* well....there's some mighty fine treasure down there there there...why don't you check it out?
Oh my God if he just drop kicks the camera? Oh man I'd be furious.
Would be awesome
I just can't imagine ER getting mad when he loses a lot of souls, maybe he's just like "Ok, let's try again".
ER is a parry god clearly, he never loses souls.
The patient one! exactly he doest even batt an eye....he simply pwns everything when he respawns!
Theres so many ways to avoid losing lots of souls that i cant get mad because i know its my fault most of the time
Once you’ve played enough hours losing souls doesn’t really phase you anyway. I’ll walk around with 100k+ on me at a time just because.
@@ThatRipOff yeah, eventually you just get into the mindset of "I'm Undead, that means death is meaningless" and once you stop caring about dying, oh boy does the game's difficulty obtain a different perspective.
What he's wearing is literally all you'd have to wear in a zombie apocalypse. You'd be fine because they can't bite through that shit.
damn, never thought of that
Screw armor in a zombie apocalypse I’d just smear vegemite all over myself. There is no zombie with a big enough ballsack to bite through a suit of vegemite
@@bigfootwithwifi7569 Id take some of that vegemite
Hell, you wouldn’t even need heavy armor of any kind, just a tough leather and you’re good
@@pencrash9289 ehhhh, i doubt any armor was made with super strong cannabals in mind. Sharkmail would probably be best.
I've watched this specific vid atleast 300 times, and I'm now at the point where I can quote it word for word. This wasn't the intention, I just really enjoy this vid, but alas here we are.
I’ve seen it a few times as well
Parry riposte
"Parry... riposte... parry ... strafe, strafe" Slave Knight Gael: Ok bro, you win. Plz don't hurt me
*proceeds to activate second phase*
you cant parry slave knight gael 😐
@@flimsypillow341 Bruh...
@@flimsypillow341 Not with that attitude
Even the chosen one fears him
Easily the most cinematic video ER has made in a while. That LIGHTING. That COSTUME. I'm loving it.
I wonder where he got it.
He's reaching ASMattR levels of cinematography
@@DarkDashV6 You should check out FredsVoice ASMR. He has multiple roleplays in his character form "Rude English Gentleman". He roasts you and relaxes you at the same time. (He does nice ASMR too also)
@@DarkDashV6 I've seen Jim also. He did a really badass Dark Knight Joker video. Really awesome!
I'm not entirely sure it's a "costume." There's something a bit uncanny-valley about it.
This video is one of my favorites on your channel. My first From Software game was Elden Ring but this vid really makes me want to buy all the Dark Souls games! So good. I'm secretly hoping you make an Elden Ring rp someday 🤞💕 I imagine you as a merchant, playing your instrument while rambling about your wares, before slowly descending into a relaxing madness, talking about your people being exiled, and the yellow chaos flame.
I am now manifesting this into existence
he didn't like ER that much, so I think it's unlikely. but it would be a match made in heaven. ER as an ER merchant.
@@Retro_Rainer I'm glad you agree, it's right down his alley! Hope he snags the idea one day despite his vid about how he felt about the gameplay.
I miss playing dark souls, the calm walks between battles were my second favorite feel apart from defeating a boss.
Is this what he was doing rather than playing dark souls? Ok I’m into it.
Maybe.....just maybe
I don't like these type of roleplay kinks usually but that chainmail got me feeling some type of way
Is that even a question?
He planned to play Dark Souls, but too many calories.
Dude,i was going to say it
POV: Rift is just a giant using a normal sword and shield
I'll take that over my fight with a baby dragon situation
Possibly but thats a big shield if upscaled
** him giant lol.
@Wee Pinbell it's a Great Shield to us
Nah thats a chaos dagger
You have a lot of imagination, I love your videos! Thank you Just a little French "fan".... A "fan" in French is someone who admires a person for their talent, i don't know the word in English... :/
Two little french fan :)
That's a three little French fan :)
We are building a team!
Maybe more will join ^^
Lol when your small and little
5:40 I REALLY thought he was gonna answer a soapstone.
Buckler shield and Thief’s dagger, good choice.
I'm sorry i killed your dog.
I made you read this god damn it not again this is the fifth time...
No prob, wasn’t my dog anyway lol
@@thicctoriasthedogwalker815 it said SIF on the name tag. In fact I've collected several of those name tags. Must just be a popular name i suppose.
Ohhh, THAT dog. I thought he was in the abyss.
Didn't read the title, so when he said "ah" in the intro I thought he'd continue with: "you're finally awake"
Why did this make me laugh so much :)
You were trying cross the border right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush
Same lol
Same thing
Kampfh same as us and that thief over there Damn you stormcloaks! Skyrim was fine until you came along, empire was nice and easy. If they hadn’t been looking for you, I could’ve stolen that horse and been halfway to hammerfell. You there, you and me, we shouldn’t be here. It’s these stormcloaks the imperials want. We’re all brothers and sisters in binds now, thief Shut up back there!
Me: Trying to get to the blight town short cut with the master key The chatty NPCs in firelink:
I like the ambient noise of the fire. The white noise helps block external noises so that I can fall asleep to your calm storytelling. By far one of my favorites, right next to the candyman and repairman series.
ER is the David Bowie of ASMR; no matter how he reinvents himself, he's always bloody brilliant
David Bowie ASMR when?
@@td23asus that would have been incredible! He did a reading of Peter and the Wolf, but alas, not specifically ASMR.
Haha wow, a huge comparation
_"If only I had a humanity... in short, Try using ASMR."_
Humanity Restored.
*Try finger, but hole*
Seraph lmao do u mean the message on the roof of grand archive
@@nitrocyanara thats a message that anybody can put anywhere
Amazing chest ahead.
infinite blessings on your bloodline ive been in love with your content for three years i love that you always make it entertaining its so hard to find content like this elsewhere
I feel like this one is my absolute favorite video because his mix of whispers, soft spoken, and tappings blended with the bonfire is the best mixture of sound ive ever heard in my life. Its merely pure luck that it also happened to be my favorite video game series.
Gracious, Passing fine ASMR thou'st given.
I only hope these tingles content thee
Your pfp, I see you’re a man of culture as well
I am an ASMRTist like thou, although not so charitable as to give my tingles for free
You.... Give me back my kidney!
My my, what WARM umbral ash thoust given me
Okay please tell me nobodies named him yet because I have the perfect one. "The Restfallen Man"
Thank you for your service
Maybe riftfallen man?
@@debatenothing5676 sure but he's roleplaying the Crestfallen man from the dark souls series. I think its a funnier play on that to just remove a single letter
Clever, I also like “rift keeper” lol
Lame
Love your voice and all the attention to detail. It really struck me when I realised your bad memory is an effect from the hollowing!
Out of all of your videos this is the one I find myself consistently coming back too. I think for me it’s the light fire sounds throughout the video.
"Parry, Riposte." Indeed, Words to live by.
If only I could be so grossly incandescent Praise the sun ☀️
\[T]/
Found you just searching and you put in the most work I've ever seen in asmr roleplay it's cool as hell
"Where we are?" Looks like Tomb of the giants
We have to get Rift to a million subs before the end of the year, that would be the only good thing in 2020.
The best way to get him more subs is sharing with others about his channel Sadly my family and friends dont like asmr but even sharing on social media helps
Dont know, this video seems pretty good already.
Black lives matter was good
scooter isn’t burning down cities and ruining livelihoods just the best
@@nocsiou so you're arguing the Civil Rights movement in the 60's was bad because there was rioting that spawned from that, too? Or are you gonna act like you're not racist? Fuck outta here and listen to the ASMR, chump.
This is me waiting for Elden Ring. Praise the sun my brothers.
Don't give up, skeleton
still waiting
Praise the Sun!
Will elden ring came to ps4 or ps5 bro?
Your use of the teleportation sound effect in the beginning is amazing
I love the random call in the middle of the conversation. Got a chuckle out of me
“Strafe” “Strafe” “Strafe” “Backstab” The spy from TF2: *Ah, I see you are a man of culture as well*
But of course
Indeed
Slap my hand
why did i read spy as “pie” lol
@@blitzkrieg7353 This is NOT a trick
Guys, this man is more talented than most hollywood actors, he needs to be in a movie sometime in the future
Definitely
I know this comment may never be seen by you my friend, uncle e, but i must say ive watched this video 3 nights in a row and still havent seen whats in it past 20 minutes because I just cant stay awake. I will forever be grateful for the creative and relaxing ideas you come up with. Thank you my friend
He fought Gwyn so many times he can only think of parrying and riposte.
Rift: “Praise the sun” Me, a blade of the darkmoon: Right
Heretics will be punished you know
You fool, you heretic, you disgrace for the one and only Solaire!
The warriors of the sun are not about punishing, they are about bonds and friendship. If you ever need a friend to help you as the evil stops you from finding your very own sun, you can always count on the warriors to help you out ! May the Joly Cooperations multiply as writen in Solaire's teaching. Long may the sun shine !!
Tis' a shame us Darkmoon brothers and sisters are shadowed buy the Sunlight Covenant.
@@m.g.1725 LONG MAY THE SUN SHINE! *raises SEIGBRAU*
Gotta say this is a beautiful evening down here in the Tomb of Giants
Username checks out
I was wondering where he was, watch out for those skeleton dogs Rift.
The buckler and dagger really add to the representation of a parry god's arsenal.
literally the only dark souls asmr and i respect it, your doing great man keep it up👍
The stainless joke caught me off guard, had to use my last estus flask
"The chosen undead?" *stutter intensifies* *MY LIEGE*
I love your content so much man. Props on the amazing ideas
As ever, I have arrived late to the party. But I must say this is Genius sir! Never did I ever think a piece of asmr would cross over so well with souls haha? As I said, genius man top work indeed.
I hope From Software sees this and adds you in one of their games.
@Nathan Carter probably cuz there wont be any more dark souls games
@@dixiemcgee8535 well as time would have it technically yes but also no...
"Stainless, China" truly a legendary soldier
Must be a close relative of Holy Knight "Made In China"
Enemy of the soldier "made in U.S.A"
Dagger Of Stainless China +5
I literally love this, I'm a dark souls fan and honestly, I'm confused how I haven't found this and subbed
I have got to say I have always enjoyed your work both with asmr and when you speak your mind. Dark souls is my favorite series and to see it mixed with asmr brings me a lot of happiness, thank you 😊
Rift: "This place is eerily similar to another place called. Yeea- yaaa- Yaar- Yarnem." Me: Okay now I'm convinced, this is the entity moving between realms and taking different forms, as he's talking about places from the future. Maybe he's just getting confused and slipping up. Or he's like that one guy you find in DS3 who looks like he's from Bloodborne and even mentions another place that sounds eerily similar to it.
/Chester's laugh/
Who's the guy?
Letsgetgoingin probably either Chester or leonhard
Not to mention the painter girl litteraly made her new world out of blood and the souls of millions of dead people.
I always wanted to know who it was coughing at the start of bloodborne
"Parry, Riposte" Ah, he must be going up against Gwyn.
Or pontiff
or gundyr
Or literally any other boss that can be parried
@@oyfum2638 or your mum
Leet Elite bold of you to assume you can parry a mom
"Ahh, my trusty dagger. I happened upon this...I forget where it was, where was I? I don't remember, but it's very nice. Apparently it belonged to a soldier named...or a Hollow, who knows...but it belonged to someone, for their name is right here: 'Stainless China'." LOL
I love this guy. I can't imagine filming these though. I'd feel so silly talking to myself. But I'm thankful he's so good it it.
It takes true talent to turn dark souls into anything remotely relaxing. Congratulations
@Brendefiler that´s not relaxing it just makes you cry.
_"Traveling undead practices his parry and riposte technique near the bonfire and reminisces of the many lands he's visited with the chosen undead visitor."_ -Circa 20,000 B.A.F _(colorized)_
dude, this comment takes the cake, congrats
I'm actually an opponent of all this ASMR shit, but this video made me relax. Especially the sounds of the fire and chain mail, and also the calm conversation of this man
This Is oddly relaxing. I literally passed out after like five minutes the first time, and then the second time, I just listened... Enjoying his stories, and the soft crackling of the flames... peace in hollow's haven...
"We are...nowhere!" Abyss. I don't see Kaathe, but I'mma assume Abyss.
Kathe?
@@boi5375 Kaathe, my bad.
@@AbyssalPlague no i wasnt trying to correct u im wondering who kaathe is? I seem to have forgot
@@boi5375 He's pretty much like Frampt, but he's at the abyss. The only way to get him to spawn is if you completely ignore Frampt and kill the four kings. I believe you also have to have the lord vessel. *Edit:* You also can join the Darkwraiths with him.
@@AbyssalPlague i remember now thx
would be funny if he actually only did parry and riposte for the whole vid
NPC 100
Sounds like the halflight boss to me.
LKMFAO
I would like if I didn't have slight ocd perfectly at 175
I'd think he had gone hollow
I love this! It would be absolutely lovely to see another Dark Souls ASMR!
i love how you go out your way for your cosplays keep doing what you’re doing
9/10 could’ve been better with Andre hammering in the background for more realism
@Captain Noodle Don't get yourself killed
@@dededeisdosh4450 would hate to see my work squandered
@@disappointedfather5218 Neither of us want to see you go hollow
@@lumethecrow Damn, did I get get my souls games switched around?
@@disappointedfather5218 The one I said was from Dark Souls 1, I've heard the line so many times it's engraved into my crow brain
This background makes me expect a guest appearance from Darkstalker Kaathe
Those soap stones look amazing so cool. I love how you just have all this stuff like the blade and the helmet and the full body chain mail it’s wild
This man's closet probably leads to other worlds so I'm not even surprised
first ASMR roleplay I completely watch and i love it
ER: pulls out phone during dark souls rp Me: *somethings wrong I can feel it*
Stop it
Stop it
@@fakeblue8985 you can’t stop me, my power has ascended beyond your mortal understanding
Ah yes they just came out with a brand new soapstone a shame it didn't come with the charger
@@mottmann2898 if your power is as you say. Then me must praise to.
Ah, ER preventing us from going Hollow. Praise the Sun!
Humanity restored
Full hollowfication incoming
I love that he puts so much effort into his roleplays love your vids buddy keep it up
this is my favorite video so far nothing can compete
I love that he opened with “praise the sun”
This man never fails to impress 😭 You have to rate him for the effort he puts into his videos
I enter the video to the sounds of "perry" "riposte" and I know immediately that: this guy gets it.
This is my all time favorite video. Thank you.