Narcissistic Abuse | The Signs
Learn more about narcissistic abuse here: my.medcircle.com/43VKcT1
Have you ever been in a relationship with a Narcissist? Would you be able to spot the signs of Narcissistic Abuse? In this video, Dr. Ramani and MedCircle host, Kyle Kittleson, break down the five signs that you may be suffering from narcissistic abuse and how to handle them and improve your mental health.
They also discuss...
How narcissistic abuse affects your simple daily choices
How narcissistic abuse affects your mental health
How being in a relationship with a narcissist can affect your social life
How narcissists view relationships
#Narcissism #Relationships #MedCircle #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #narcissist #narcissistic #narcissisticabuseawareness #narcissistabuse #narcissist
Have you had a relationship with a narcissist? Whether it's with a spouse, friend, mother, father, sibling, boss, or even a coworker, spotting the signs of narcissistic abuse will help you improve all areas of your life. Access full, exclusive mental health series featuring Dr. Ramani HERE: medcr.cl/kco
Yes, been dealing with it for a long time now, except now I'm lashing out and treating the other person poorly when they treat me poorly. I never used to be like this. I feel as if the other person will use this to make themselves the victim when in reality this has now become my response to years of how they've been treating me. The part Dr. Ramani said about how they basically only know you when they want something is so true. I haven't really told anyone what I've been going through for years because I don't want it to get back to him and then it'll make things worse. :(
My father narcissist I was under his abuse for 18 yrs. This healing process is so hard and I see how far I have come from being in that environment these videos help a lot thanks
I have felt ALL these feelings from a friend narc. I went no contact a year ago but this person enmeshed into my family of origin. My family sees how this destructive Rasputin like person is in my family, but because they feel an obligation to this person AND receive favors, food, and hotel discounts my family can’t give up the goodies. It’s still stressful.
I was watching the video and when you guys said "please post in the comments if youve had a relationship with a narcissist." I wanted to post that I have but I imediately doubted myself and feared that someone would tell me im wrong. Then the first sign was self doubt. Crazy.
Oh yeah- mother, boss, ex-spouse, 2 friends. Went no contact with mother in my 60s, divorced spouse in my 30s and moved away to get away from his hoovering and smear campaigns, quit my last job (retired early) to get away from a new (abusive/narcissistic) boss that was a raging narc and driving her entire team to suffer from panic attacks and depression. I went no contact with the friends once I figured out what was going on- I am embarrassed to admit that it took me about 2 years to figure out that these "friends" were really just manipulators, chronic liars and exploiters with no empathy for anyone. Fortunately, your advice means I figure this stuff out much faster now, and I completely avoid new relationships where my spidey sense tells me these folks may not be what they present themselves to be.
When you’re hurt by something they said or did but you end up apologizing to them 😑
Yes. I remember doing that at first. Or when they did something hurtful and turned around and blamed me or guilted me to make me feel sorry.
@@ARD7177 This used to happen all the time with me and my narcissistic & abusive mother. It’s like they make u feel like u owe them something when in reality u don’t.
This has been a consistent pattern in my marriage. 😕
Oh god, every fucking time
Yessssssss!!!!!!!!!!
The narcissist takes away a person’s ability to trust their instincts because of the constant lying and gaslighting involved.
Mary Smith And how dare we question them when we catch them in a lie, because they’ll find a way to make it our fault 🙁
Mary Smith i hate them
Mary Smith Yes so true 😞
nail, meet head. My personal favorite is when they play the victim once called-out.
You described my childhood and even things inwas doing to some people that i loved or seemed to have loved.
There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at Digitalinvestigate@gmail. com, where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........
If you ever doubt that you are in a narcissistic relationship, distance yourself from them and write down your thoughts on that situation. The more time passes the more you realize how disgusting and manipulative their actions were.
Sometimes it's difficult to identify if that makes sense. In my own situation my mother is definitely NPD, and my first wife ticks the boxes as well. When you've been conditioned to it being brought up you don't realise how wrong it is. Whilst my mother is the classic emotional blackmailer and easy to spot these days the ex wife was a gaslighter, which is sometimes very difficult to negotiate e.g. managed to convince me I was a sub standard person and failure as a husband, neither of which were true, but I went through a period actually believing it and fell into a deep depression as a result. I found that more damaging than anything. With these people it comes down to power and control in the relationship, whether parent child or husband wife. That's what it was with both.
This is what led me to finally leave. I always knew things weren’t right, but it was easy to dismiss each day and just move onto the next. It’s survival mode. But a little over a month ago, something triggered me to start writing things down. I created a secret email and started emailing myself memories. Events. How he behaved. How I behaved. Situations, discussions, every little thing that popped up. The email list grew so long within a few days, that the decision I needed to make was clear. I started looking into narcissism, and realized he is almost word for word a narcissist. Coupled with significant spiritual abuse, I couldn’t stay. Thankfully most of my younger kids wanted to come with me, only one chose to stay with him (though I suspect it’s more work related than dad related). My older kids see his behavior as normal, and I believe that he’s “helping” them realize how “crazy” and “unstable” I am. My daughter is coming around… but the boys…. :( But back to the point, I agree. Write everything down. It feels super petty at first. But that’s what has been drilled into your head. You aren’t allowed to bring up your hurts, because they’re such trivial little things. But their hurts are of epic proportions.
@@DahliaBrynn 😊❤❤😊
@@DahliaBrynn....oh my Gosh. I had to look at the author of this comment twice because it sounded EXACTLY like my story, even the way I write. Wow
I did this last night. The cons was over 50 the pros was 2 🥴
Yes,it's brokenness. Like one commenter said. "They don't break your heart, they break your spirit." I'm free from it now, THANK GOD
I send u my love. I know ur pain. Someone in ur timeline notices you, and values you regardless of wether or not you respond to me. No strings attached, I send you love ❤️💕.
🙏🏽
My God ALMIGHTY is over a my Spirit NOT a Freakin narc
I snapped my fingers after reading your comment. Yes yes and yes it's about getting your spirit broken
Hope you can now leave that part of pain in the past and heal and strives from this insidious taunting pain of being treated poorly by npd loved or close ones.
My covert narcissist husband. My 5 signs: 1. You constantly walk on egg shells around him. Always careful what you say or do. 2. He pulls into the driveway after work and you suddenly feel dread or anxious 3. You literally don't believe any word coming out of his mouth. 4. Drained, depressed and anxious all the time. 5. One minute you want him gone the next you don't because you're not sure if you want to be alone and some part of you will still miss him. So you're constantly conflicted
Very very true. I never want to feel any of that ever again.
@ Jennifer Hall Gosh Reading down the list it's sumed up exactly how I felt and I couldn't explain how I felt. I was so confused.
Your signs are closely like mine. I didn’t know what narcissistic tendacies were until I found Dr. Ramani 8 months ago. Some days I do really well ( he’s a pilot ) when he’s gone. Her videos have helped so much! I sneak and listen to them when he’s home so I can cope! Just try and stay true to you! I walk away from him when he tries to gaslight etc! Maybe you could try that! Stay strong!
@@farm2facebeauty514 I have left him, after 24 years of physical and mental abuse I couldn't take it anymore. I became numb and walking shell of my previous self. He tried so hard to poison everyone around me and make me look like I was the one who making him miserable and I was giving him a hard time. He has got married again and I really wonder how he treats her.
This list is on point!!! Things had gotten so bad, my doctor was trying to put me on meds.... that's when I realized I had to break free.... there had been the darkest cloud over me for 8 years. Suddenly, when I left everything thing was 100 times better. It's scary to think of all the sick manipulation I was enduring!
For me, the best way to explain what people with NPD do to victims is two things: 1. Drain your energy/motivation 2. Alienate you You start to lose the notion of yourself, your passions fades your projects start to look bad or not worth to try And then you cannot live fully because it seems you have a facade, you "pretend", that's what narcissist do, so basically they drag you into their world of pretending for external validation
This! so well put together, thank u for making this statement i couldn't vocalize everything you wrote and it's actually comforting to know that that's what's happening. my family has given up on me a long time ago and they keep trying to show as if they actually care but those nights when i was alone, hell, the days i spent alone in that dark room just crying on my pillows nonstop will never come back to me. all that time and potential i couldve actually done something with myself had they just rushed through that door and sat there or lied there with me. i really feel like that's all that needed to happen for me to actually feel like i cant give up on myself despite what he did to me, like all i needed was to have that external validation that my life actually matters to them, how i feel, think, perceive people after what i've been through, that it actually matters. i know it doesn't and that the world dgaf about how you feel. but thank u anyway for i guess externally validating how i feel on the inside.
Brilliantly analyzed and put.
@@shakiid7 You DO matter. Love yourself as a categorical imperative. Develop your talents, create what makes you happy.
@@JudgeJulieLit This is necessary to do, it just feels strange because we come from having been pushed by the narcissist. They know how to validate what we need, and they give us the amount of (validation) dose they believe we need in order to control/manipulate us. That should why going back to the real world hurts or becomes so difficult, because they made us dependent on them or their way of living (getting validation from external sources). Loving ourselves goes beyond “feeling the feeling”: it’s now about the QUEST and odyssey of revisiting everything we lived with the narcissist and starting to “resignificate” what those memories/moments were really meant for.
This is happening to me. Also the 5 points they speak. I've been wondering if it's me the one who is narsisistic and abuser. I got speak paralisys and extreme social isolation. Damn.
When dealing with narcissism, you should know that it’s not personal. “It isn’t personal” is one of those cliches used to cushion all kinds of bad actions taken by people who need an out for being immoral, but in this case it actually gets near the truth. Narcissists don’t know how to love or be a friend; they can’t afford to spare the energy to learn, because they’re always in a state of high emergency, cataloging potential threats and redoubling their defenses. When they claim to love you, it means nothing. They may even think they mean it, but they don’t understand the concept - they can’t feel it. They never attach to you or anyone else. Other people are paper cut-outs to the narcissist, like those cardboard figures of celebrities you pose next to for a selfie. Narcissist value their own children only as mirrors of themselves. When they destabilize you or attack you, it means nothing. They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves. When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle; when they try to reel you back in, it only means that they tired of the new drug and need a hit of the old. None of this is personal. They’re too terrified to have personal relationships, opting instead for extraction of admiration from a subservient partner whose range of action they strictly constrain. This is not personal. None of it. The narcissist does not know who you are - it doesn’t know how to know other people. Like the vampire or the chainsaw-wielding creature in the horror film, it’s from another world, bereft of the concept of human connection. Additionally, My ex narc managed to never get caught! However , he was “ hiding “ in plain sight! You notice the strange behaviors ( tilting phone screen so you can't see what they're texting , needing privacy for all calls and hanging up quick if you walk near them , telling insignificant lies when there's no need to , etc ) and you just feel a bad vibe! They have all sorts of tricks because they've been doing this stuff for so long! I later found out he was cheating on me with his ( 5th ) ex wife and another girl who worked at a nearby restaurant! through this forensic expert *Metaspyhub@gmail. com* ...
Thanks for this. 10 years coming to the end. Ive never seen her so nasty, vile and pure evil. The threats are getting more and more severe and the rate of threats are becoming more frequent
You are just a suit in their imaginary life. There is nothing you can do to escape their awful script, if you don't say your lines the way they want, it doesn't matter. They will accuse you of saying them anyway.
Really appriciate this
It couldn’t be more personal. There are people in her life she treats with decency like the man she had an affair( tall handsome “endowed” her words to me) her father ( who spoils her with money as does her new senior citizen husband. All these men get her adoring sweet side and/ or sexual side. I sat alone while dying of cancer. Because I chose to call her out when she lied Since then I’ve been ostracized in every possible manner. Even when I’ve fought for my life. I’ve known violent ex cons , schizophrenia and bipolar sufferers that were infinitely kinder to me.
When you are young and married your mind doesn't go there but as you get older the observations are poignant. My ex always seemed to cut down the way I looked. I was insecure after he finished.
1. Difficulty in making simple decisions 2. Feelings of helplessness 3. Social withdrawal 4. Anxiety specific to the relationship 5. Chronic sense of second guessing & paralysis
Damn. I need a divorce
I need a divorce too, but I dunno if divorcing oneself is even a thing...
I'm going through all of these
Haley Lucas wow talk to me because I need someone rn with all this crazy stuff lol
@@douglang5568 please do. Or, you'll end up scared and abandon your children. My dad was my life and did it. I have no family. Narrascists target and abuse the kids they have of their own sex. I am 30. She ruins every aspect of my life.
You're going to drive yourself crazy wondering why this person who says they love you would treat you so badly. The answer is that they simply didn't love you. It's deception. They say they loved you only to get what they wanted.
You're so right. I had to accept this truth and walk away from my fiance who I was supposed to marry in a couple of weeks.
Too true, they never loved you in the first place. Love bombing which soon turns into gas lighting. Thankfully I only experienced it for 8 months or so but that was enough, the long term impact is real but every day that passes I’m recovering
That's what I told them. They love me but act in validating and invalidating ways, silent treatment for days, blameshifting, gaslighting, sudden break ups, threats to turn off relationship, no accountability, gaslighting and justifications don't make me feel loved.
:(
This ones hitting today!
The only way to take control from a narcissist is to get yourself from their domain first. You wont be able to figure out anything until and unless you are out of the hellish world. I will tell you one of my favourite stories. Once a King was too disturbed by everything that was happening around him. He felt as if no one was loyal to him and he was always afraid of his kingdom being attacked by perpetrators. He lost his sleep and his life had become hell. So he thought of taking a brief sojourn in the countryside. He passed through lush green fields and picturesque landscapes. The silent breeze that brushed through his hair filled his heart with joy. That is when he saw a farmer who was putting fence around his farmland. But his farmland had weeds all over and they hardly had any crops. This intrigued the King. He asked the farmer as to why was he putting a fence around the farm when the farm itself was covered with weeds. To this the farmer said that the farm was his own so he could get rid of the weeds whenever he liked. But he cant stop the stray dogs from running over his fields and destroying them. That is why he was putting the fence. To stop the stray dogs from venturing into the field. Once he was very assured about the security of his fields he can work on clearing the weeds and planting crops. On hearing this the King somewhat got the answer which he had been searching for. The human mind is also like the field. You cant control assholes from fiddling with your mind or saying bullshit. But you can definitely put a fence ( figuratively) so that these assholes cant influence you. And until and unless you dont put a fence you can never work on yourself. Once you have distanced yourself from toxic people then you can work on the healing process. Same is the case with narcs. Narcs are these stray dogs who suck your energy emotionally. They play mind games for fun because their mind wants melodrama. They hurt the very people who love them. So total isolation from these narcs is absolutely essential for the well being of your Mind. Once you are out of their mind games you can take decisions rationally. Narcs try to drain you emotionally. So everytime you respond to their low vibrations you tend to come to their level. But when you react confidently without panicking and without responding to their negative vibrations that is when you Win. When someone realises that you arent being influenced or being manipulated by their actions they will get tired of it. And after cutting them off completely from your lives you should work on your healing process. Work on clearing your mental clutter and keep yourself preoccupied. Read books and most importantly try to find your Purpose in life. When you find your Purpose you will be able to bear any pain in this World. Most importantly help others in need. When you find someone else who is stuck with a narc help them to get out of that. I feel this is the way to take control from a narcissist. P.S: I hardly find people around me who know about emotional abuse. But I think everyone should read and know about it. In today’s mean world you will find a lot of people who try to influence you or demoralise you using the sweetest of words. Its about identifying these covert manipulators and distancing yourself from them. I have immense respect for people who have survived narcissistic partners. They happen to be the most strongheaded and emotionally stable people you can come across. I learn a lot of things from them. Truly the broken will always be the most beautiful. What ever you do, don’t attempt to tail your spouse in the hopes of catching him or her cheating. Get a professional to do it for you Metaspyhub@gmail. com Ethical remote App - particularly if you need this evidence to file for divorce and damages.
It’s kind of contradictory to say that a narcissist ex admitted that to gaslighting. One of the behavior patterns of a narcissist is that they won’t admit fault on their own, and that they use gaslighting to convince you that they were never at fault. I can tell you what behavior of my narcissist ex led me to believe that I was being gaslighted though. Gaslighting is a real insidious way of manipulation- to make you believe that there is something wrong with you, that the actions/words of your narcissist weren’t really what they seemed to be. It makes you question your judgement, leading to you ignoring your instincts and senses. I swallowed all of her gaslighting for years, mostly because I wanted the relationship to work- like most people who have been the partner of a narcissist. I started realizing that something was wrong 6 months before I was discarded. It was actually this revelation that I had that led to the discard- once I started seeing through the illusion that she presented, I started to see all of her actions for what they really were, and I started to question her on everything and stood my ground on issues that I previously gave in on. We had gotten into a really bad argument. Tensions between us had been building for a few months. We had to move from our rental and find a new place to live within 2 months, in a town that was going through a surge in prices for rental properties. It was difficult finding a place to live that was within our budget, and still live in the town that had come to be our community. Between that and all of the normal logistics in moving cause a lot of minor arguments and stress between us- more than what was normal with her narcissistic and selfish behavior. We found a place, moved in and was in the process of bringing the final things over from the old place to the new place and cleaning the old place when we had gotten into an argument about something minor. All of the pent up tensions and resentment came out. During the argument, she was dismissive to me and told me that everything was my fault and if I didn’t like it then I could pack my shit and leave. I was so frustrated that I knocked her external computer monitor down (so she would face me and not continue to argue with her back turned to me). She got up and in my face and told me that I probably wanted to hit her. I said that I didn’t, I just wanted to discuss the issues. She said that if I wasn’t man enough to hit her she would give herself a black eye and call the police on me. I turned and left the room, because I knew the argument was escalating to a place that I didn’t;t want it to go. As I turned to leave the room, she jumped on me and started punching me. I told her if she was going to hit me, I would call the police. She started punching me again, so I left the room, went to the master bathroom and called the police. They came, interviewed both of us and arrested her for spousal battery. Afterwards she only blamed me for the incident and never, never acknowledged that she hit me. A week or so later, she asked me to write a letter to the DA requesting that the charges be dropped. I said that I would write a letter but that she would have to acknowledge her actions and to apologize to me first. She said that she was sorry that I felt that way. I told her that I wouldn’t write anything to the DA, and she stormed off, giving me the silent treatment for a couple of days. I knew what happened, and have a very clear recollection of the events. I’ve been punched before with closed fists, and I know what it feels like- and it doesn’t feel like a “shove”, what she insisted was what she did (her story was that she shoved me only after I shoved her, which was nonsense). I got a copy of the police report, and one of several reasons that they arrested her is because they found her knuckles red and swollen. I tried to move through this, but she kept trying to change the narrative of what happened when I was very clear on what happened. I felt crazy, but knew that I wasn’t. This led me to question everything else that she told me. Once I started realizing that most things she told me (when it came to disagreements or things that I had an issue with) were lies, and I believed the illusion that she created to trick me. That’s what the narcissist does- they present an illusion to you. Just like looking at an optical illusion, once you see that it is a trick of the eyes, you can’t look at it again without seeing the trick. Once I started seeing through her illusions, the house of cards that she built started to fall down and I slowly started to realize the type of person that she was, even though I didn’t want to believe it. I started enforcing my boundaries and that drove her crazy and caused more fights and gaslighting, which is what I believe led to her finally discarding me 6 months after her arrest. She never admitted to gaslighting me though. Even after confronting her with things from years previous that I realized she changed to make me the one at fault, she stays with her story. Even with indisputable proof, she stays with her version of events and says everyone else is wrong. Don’t expect any type of satisfaction or closure from a narcissist, because you won’t get any. You have to believe your judgment and instinct, and not tie your self-worth and self-esteem to anything that they say to you. Moreover, Catching a cheating spouse might be difficult, and knowing what local laws say you can and cannot do might be even more difficult. To simplify the process, consider hiring a private investigator to do the sleuthing for you I genuinely appreciate how incredible you are and your work! Thank you for a job well done Metaspyhub@gmail. com,,
Very well understood and explained
They don't take accountability for their negative actions against you.. they just shut you down, and could care less about your feelings. They lack empathy.
they never show remorse they just ghost you and say you are weak
True
I feel helpless and cant cope alot and cant make choices..
@@donnabuckton2800 are you away from them or still stuck with them. try to get away
OMG YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It’s never safe to love a narcissist. There is no emotional security. Their verbal abuse is detrimental to your mental and physical health.
Too many brainwashed sheep fell for the covid BS and now they KNOW they have us! Their latest test, which we AGAIN failed miserably, was surfside, that was a planned implosion just like the towers! We collectively are nothing but brainwashed fools who don't think for ourselves. I'm madder than hell right now. We COULD have prevented this PLANDEMIC if it weren't for the SHEEP and KARENS. Anyone who took the jab will now have a compromised immune system which will be difficult to survive the upcoming flu season, and it won't be from covid or the fake Delta variant. To those who took this, They are also chipped! This has never been about covid, it's been about genocide and getting us all chipped. We have surpassed one million deaths from the VACCINES!! A verifiable FACT! Catherine Austin Fitts Planet Lockdown,,, type it in just like that. Riveting truth!
I’m glad I stood my ground when I was gaslighted. But boy, did it feel like I’m going insane! I’ve had enough, and left. But turns out, he doesn’t even care if I stayed or not. It’s as if I was FORCED to leave.
💯
Omgawd YES!!!😡😡
Agree. No contact is the only way to go
He asks a wonderful question that I’ve had to ask multiple times. “Why would they do that to someone they love?”
I'm still asking the question to my wife who refuses to take any responsibility for her actions towards me, so I've walked away and now filing for a divorce
Because it is not a shared emotion. It's entirely one sided, and not about their partner.
They don't love they just don't want to be lonely .....and don't want to lose a person who deals with their crap
I can really relate to the struggle against the confusing mind games of a narcissist. It's like walking through a maze where the walls keep shifting. Your story resonates deeply because, like you, I felt so isolated, doubting my own reality, as if my confidence was slipping through my fingers.
I completely agree
He made me feel like I was being the narcissistic one. I thought I was going crazy. Keep questioning myself.
I am going through this! My brain hurts! I feel so stupid and childish!
Same! When he was accusing me of things it felt like he was describing himself.
Oh my god! Yes! Im going crazy right now!
Yes! If I had a dime for every time she called ME selfish, I'd be rich.. Unfortunately, I started to believe it.
@@JoMama123451234 Omg, yes! I used to get that all the time...
1) self doubt - Daily choices . Can’t trust judgement 2) helplessness- nothing works 3) hopeless , depression, irritability 4) social withdrawal - judged, embarrassed, ashamed, afraid to share 5) anxiety , eating, sleeping, overall sense of worry 6) chronic second guessing, paralysed
So how do you heal from it once you’ve left?
The symptoms are their victory signs.
Hi
Spoiler alert
@@joesnelson8287 #DUKOMMSTNIEDRAUF🥹
My childhood was surrounded by narcissism on my dad's side. Dad, cousins, uncles, aunts, and even Grandma. Gaslighting, triangulation, and I'm just now understanding it all.
I think there is a little Narcissist in everyone
My dad too, it hurts to realize that we let them do that to us
I'm a 58-year-old male and in the last year I've come to learn that I was raised by a narcissistic mother. Interestingly, I started a medication for epilepsy a year ago and that really opened to door to understanding what was going on. It's been an amazing year. Thanks to all the doctors and therapists trying to help folks with these situations!
Communication=starting a fight because I’m always wrong
Any communication about questions concerning decision-making together, issues to improve the relationship, your concerns/feelings/sadness will not be addressed. Their defensiveness, stonewalling or outright walking away will slowly destroy you. You'll have material things and gifts especially during hoovering. Your heart, soul and spirit die a slow death. It took me a year of separation, intensive PTSD and relational therapy before I was even ready to rebuild me.
Communication in my house means I listen to HIM talk about HIM. If I speak, if I dare have on opinion, I'm accused of 'starting a fight'. "Why do you ALWAYS want to fight?" If I say something he doesn't like, I'm a liar. I'm coming to understand that anything I say that doesn't conform to HIS reality makes me a liar. Ironic that in order to NOT be accused of telling lies, I have to lie.
@@julianndavis9415 WOW julie you just explained my life
@@Kimby28 I wish there was a support group for those of us who are trying to survive this torment. Just knowing someone else is living my hell is a comfort.
Yes oh good yes
Yes, one day my husband was just screaming at me. I stepped back and looked at him screaming in his rage at me. I said, OMG, I married my mother. I was very confused and deeply hurt. I grew up with it and then married the same dynamics of personality. At 21 I left home the married for 21 years. In prison for 42 years and then was freed. I have been divorced 14 years now and still learning and discovering more items of myself needing to heal. Gained a lot still have a lot to heal. But finally love myself at 55.
Yeah I had the same pattern and realizing I was going for people that remind me of my mom made me sick to my stomach. I just gravitated towards emotionally shut and unavailable people. Never again if I ever even date that is
Proud of you! Your strength is inspiring 🙏🏼
I pray God gives me discernment to escape the pattern 🙏♥️
Wow.. God bless you with strength, peace, and happiness ❤🤗🙏
I'm so happy that you've learned to love yourself. That's amazing. All the best xx
We have to get our minds wrapped around a plan to discard the narc/addict. In my circumstance I had to monitor his phone,make screen shots etc The day I showed him my proof I got his suitcase & sent him to a motel. I vowed he would never be here again. I packed his belongings & put them on the front porch. It was my rightful healing journey. 24 yrs married,recovery,relapse,betrayal,deceit. His lovely social media supply helped me. I hope he wraps his phone around him at night with is new gals & guys. 6 months out divorce papers signed. I’m 72 and fearless on my journey. And he knows it!!!!!!! Life is returning on my terms. I sent a thank you to the narc for my release.
My adopted grandfather was a narcissist. From age 4-25 he tried to control every aspect of my life. Wasn’t interested in things I actually enjoyed- just wanted to push his own narrative on me. He passed away recently and everyone saw him as such a wonderful person but I believe he’s the reason my dad took his own life (he’s my paternal grandfather) when I was only 4 years old. My whole family is unsupportive of me because I didn’t see my grandfather as a good person and I called them out on social media. It was in the most respectful way possible but they don’t care. You CANNOT see him as a bad person.
♥
I relate to this heavily … I lost my father to Narcissistic Abuse
When your mother is a narcissistic you can't even explain the abuse to your friends, which is very subtle unlike physical abuse.
get some other thinking friends too
I have experienced this. Your mother seems normal at first glance. Friends won’t understand. If you’re fortunate enough to have another parent and siblings who acknowledge the problem (like I am) it helps alleviate the fallout of all the gaslighting she does. People shamed me for years for “abandoning your mother” but time has told me that my mental health is more important that having a persistently damaging relationship with her. It’s something I’m not sure I’ll ever be at peace with. No matter how many times I’ve cautiously expressed my feelings about our relationship to her, it always turns into her playing the victim, name calling me, slandering my siblings and other parents, and a spiral of very personal and painful attacks. I’m sorry if your experience is anything like mine. I hope you learn the power of setting boundaries and never wavering or compromising. You can gain control of your half of the relationship. I encourage you to eliminate situations that have triggered this bad behavior in the past. My mother loves to argue and back me into a corner when I’m in a moving car with her, or we are somewhere without and easy way to leave (vacation, shopping in another city, etc). The common denominator? She knew I couldn’t go anywhere so she could act however she wanted.
Yes they'll say you're overreacting
@@Nokss87 my mom cursed at my friend because she keeps telling to leave my narcissist husband... i was on the phone and she said "leave my daughter alone bitch", thats when i realized she has no idea how evil my mother is, my mom is MASSIVE narc.
@@NicolonCancer I find out a month after my mother died. She was a pretty messed up person.
- Trouble making decisions - A feeling of helplessness - Social withdrawal - Anxiety - Chronic sense of second-guessing about bigger issues
Thank u
👋😔
I have all of these
I have all of these!
@@CameraShii86 same I want to do something about it but I am just too young, I keep my mouth shut even when he hits or curses at me I show no emotion so he doesn't get the satisfaction he craves I am just working on myself and trying to do good to the world and even if he hits me or curses at me I try not to make him upset because I believe in this saying if you throw wood in to a burning fire that fire would just get bigger I hope anyone who is going through my situation or any issue in their life you can do it never lose hope... (sorry for my bad English)
3:28 & 3:50 - This CONSTANT feeling of paralysis is unfortunately incredibly relatable...
Yes, my mom is a covert narcissist and would twist my words, gas light, make me self doubt and play victim cards. She also told me that she has little to no empathy for others feelings, that was a warning sign that rang in my mind and heart. She loves to control people and she loves codependency. I have watched her use my siblings words against them and she has personally divided us and pitted us against each other. It’s taken me years to realize how much control she had and how little respect and empathy she has for anyone, but herself. Know the warning signs and if they are screaming at you listen to it!❤
Sorry you went thru that . I hope your sisters can see it isn't any of yours fault.
Your mom: I have no idea why everyone won’t come together as a family, this is hurting ME. Put your differences (that I caused) aside for ME!
Mother. Husband. Friend. Ended all those relationships. I've learned not to be so empathetic. I've learned to like living alone. It's a lot safer.
Truth.
AMEN Jeanette!
If all your relationships are broken, you need to look within. Not meant to be totally alone. Were they trying to help you or control? Most often people are trying to help.
Yep! I never married and I don't date. I do have a few close friendships though. I'd rather live this way and I have lots of interests and hobbies.
@@Solidrock-jq6rp Not if they're narcissists. Once you've been abused by a narcissist, it's very hard to trust anyone. Maybe in YOUR life most people are trying to help but not in everyone's life.
Never being sure if your feelings are valid or if you’re being “emotional” or “annoying”. The more distance you make, the more you realize their interactions were not normal and were more cruel than you would and should expect. Stepping into normal relationships feeling so confused. This is the hardest mental health battle I’ve ever faced. 😥
this comment hits. You are not alone and you are stronger than you know. We will get thru this
This.
been separated for a little over a year now. Initially I knew it was unhealthy but now the memories are coming back in but under a microscope and i see exactly how unhealthy, literally sickeningly so. I'm having a very difficult time realizing I put up with it
🎯
I have been living with a narcissist who was a cheat and was planning on leaving me all the while and i never knew, At first the journey was smooth but it later was hell. He doesn’t eat at home only on few occasions. I felt powerless with him, no gut for me to leave because he made me dependant financially, he wouldn’t let me work. just on this platform i saw an ad about a software expert who can clone partners phones without notice,I doubted the process at first but then my best friend and cousin encouraged me to try it and see, off course I was scammed but then it didn’t matter because it wasn’t alot just a little. I didn’t stop there i wanted closure so i kept searching. My best friend then met another who came highly recommended, i was scared but anyways I decided to try again and God so kind he turned out legit. He helped me get all the closure I needed i was able to see all text conversations, social media, and mails in my husband’s from my husbands phone, we both saw the illicitness in his endeavors, I gathered the proofs and I confronted him but he was defensive and physically abused me. I have sign for a divorce already because I’ve got proofs adding to the fact that he physically abused me. Narcissist don’t deserve some of us. You can just contact him if you have similar issue 👉 chart me on WhatsApp +1 (303) 943‑6132
My mum is a major narcissist and I didnt have the vocabulary to to really understand our relatioship until I watched some of Dr. Ramani's videos and read "Yo'u're not Crazy It's Your Mother: understanding and healing for daughters of narcissistic mothers." My life has been totally changed and these resources really helped me in my emotional healing journey so far.
I think there is a little Narcissist in everyone
I've been married to a narcissist for 17 years, but finally started taking action to strengthen my aupport system about 4 years ago through family and friends while having to co-parent our 2 children.
It took me 17 years to figure out I was married to a narcissist. This stuff should be mandatory teaching in all high schools. I'm embarrassed to admit at 66 years old, I had no idea what I was dealing with.
@@dwilliams7384 My heart hurts for you Diane. It is so unfair to feel like your life has been robbed by your spouse, the one person on this Earth you should be able to rely on. How will the next generation learn of this without having to learn by experience. Hugs and God Bless my friend 🙏
Diane Williams this is the first step in a new journey! it’s so hard to be objective about seeing how much time you invested into a crumby return BUT you have today to take stock of how you can do better in honoring yourself tomorrow & more fully in the future you are currently creating. let yourself feel that grief & let it go when you’re ready. you will feel weird at first but happiness is a learned emotion when you’ve been engaging in learned helplessness muscles. be patient w yourself! good changes take time 💞
Yes. I agree thousand times. This has to be mandatory teaching at high school.
Im 55 & although we have been in separate bedrooms for about 3 years I still live with him. We have 2 adult children together. Im disabled now & on a very limited income so I haven't had the money to move out even though that's what I want more than anything in the world right now! So I feel ya hon! But it's not our fault! These people know how to keep us around. They know just what to say & do at the right moment to keep you from leaving! And it has happened many times in the 30+ years we have been together. I feel I should have seen it myself many many moons ago & moved on so that by now my life might be something I could be proud of. But instead Im stuck & no way out! Almost everyday is a day from from hell! I leave to go shopping & don't want to go home cause the minute I walk in the door it starts! I just don't know how Im getting out of this! I feel so trapped! Now our adult children are having problems with life issues & I feel it's my fault for not seeing it sooner & getting out for their sake!
Carla Kool don’t be embarrassed, your a warrior and survivor ♥️
Narcissists definitely leave you scarred ,dealing with.them is so draining and painfiul.
Never give them money no matter what. Don't give them your time ever. Don't want anything from them. Reject, refuse and deny them at every opportunity.
@@Tethloach1 yes Very Good advice. 😛
YESSS DRAININGGGG!
@@elizabetqueen7566 yep ..
yessssssss
Yes! This why I finally said good bye to my marriage after 22 years! I literally had an epiphany while we were arguing and said oh my god, there’s nothing I can do to make him happy…ever! And I asked for a divorce that day and started the process and saw it to completion this time last year!
Agreed, no matter what you do it’s never enough. That is because the deficiency is within themselves. I can’t imagine how free you feel! My relationship was 4 years. As soon as I ended it I felt instantly lighter and relieved. I’m sleeping better and taking better care of myself. He’s already looking for his next victim. I wish I knew about this before I met him.
Good for you ! You must be independently wealthy or have a good job and good friends and great family to back u up! I on the other hand, l have none of those things or people! I envy you! If I had just one of those I would of been gone years ago! So it’s either (for me) to go to a shelter and give up my precious little dogs or live in my broken down junk car without anything at all or stay where I am! I do envy you! I’m happy for you too! Best of luck!✌🏼
@@jennyblankenship1419 Good for you! Seriously, it must feel like a huge weight is lifted off ur chest! You too I envy! My blood pressure is at an all time high. How did you get out ? I’m married for almost 36 yrs and about 5 yrs ago he changed it I woke up? Can’t figure out which one it was but He has me to where I have no one or nothing to count on! I mean zero dollars. Zero credit(he ruined) Zero friends & Zero family. Plus 2 little dogs I absolutely love & adore with all my heart! He really has everything for himself and I have nada. Any advice? Not getting rid of my babies🐕🐕that’s for certain! I’d rather be dead. But you must feel amazing! God what I would give to just be able to walk away 🤦🏼♀️!
Same here my wife just wanted someone to be her parrot and slave. never got a present on bdays or Christmas but iwas expected to get her gifts yeah well i cut her loose two weeks ago and im homeless and still happier than married to her
My narc always said that if I ever tried to divorce him he would "Spend me into a tent." That might be a better place than all of the abuse I have endured. Narcissis are sick. Not much different than a Psychopath.
I'm going threw all these symptoms from a narcissistic best friend ,at times I didn't even feel worthy to eat, witch caused me to lose weight witch made problems worse,I still feel like nothing I ever did was enough ,that I'll never feel back to the way I use to before I met them,I remember my aura was so bright when I walk in a room,now I feel it dim and blinking.I never wish this type of abuse on anybody,the threats,the stealing from me,the constant worry that if I even said something wrong,their would later be consequences,and I was forced to push my feelings down if their ever wqs an issue, ext,and I still miss them the spark of how quickly we became friends and related with each other never really left my heart, I'm not a person who makes friends easily,but the way she started changing shocked me,it hurts my heart. Like a
A narcissistic mother; stepfather and two narcissistic sisters. I moved to another country! It’s a miracle I’m alive
Wow my mom and two sisters do all of what the lady is saying too me I was scared to move far away but it's hitting real different now I'm just gonna do It my 19yr old been wanting to leave. she just said to me yesterday mom when was we the happiest I said when we weren't around any of them but I started missing my mom but I'm about to get on it.
@@iceberg9223 praying for u🙏🏻 I’ve also dealt with a narcissistic mother and left at the age of 17 to then only go back by force and still ended up moving out when I was 19. The best thing to do when dealing with people like this.. is to LEAVE. These people don’t want to change and u can’t keep sacrificing you and your child for them when they aren’t even seeking to change.
A narc mother and a psychopath father. I know what you are saying.
I'm so glad you got away. Nightmare situation.
That’s what I’m trying to do! Happy for you.
I had a narcissistic "best friend" for 3 years. Haven't spoken to him in 9 months and life has become calm and beautiful again
Curious. How is the patterns for a friend? And how he/she slip under the radar?
Zac Adam Morrison sign 1) they love gossip 2) they hate others 3) controlling 4) lacks empathy 5) blames you 6) gossips about you 7) irritated you 8) doesn’t have other friends cause they only talk about themself 9) always underestimates you 10) never asks how are you
Me too
I just ended a friendship 3 months ago with my now ex bestfriend. I got tired of gaslighting, silent treatments instead of communinacting, one sided friendship, it's always your fault, never admit her mistakes or say sorry. Has no remorse or empathy. Hates me for who I am. Always busy finding faults in me when I'm busy excusing her toxic traits. I'm still going through the trauma bond. But I hope one day, I'll get over this. I can't wait to be healed.
@@SabaFrida This was an insight man :D Thanks you :)
I am 32yrs of age and I have finally come to the realization that i was raised by a Narcissist. And now beginning this journey of healing
My childhood was very very traumatic because of two female narcs who raised me...I had very low self confidence and didn't do well on my studies because of them
@@lilac624 i am very sorry that you had to be raised in this type of situation. I feel for you and many that I have read stories on. I wish you strength, healing, and prosperity. There is so much that is taken from us that many don't see or fail to realize or flat out don't want to hear. But as long as there are other ppl who have similar experiences that can come together and supprt each other it will help us all not feel alone.
It’s my mother who’s the Narcissist & at 53 I broke down. She’s 85 and your videos are so on point with how she behaves, especially the rage when I don’t do as she demands and lack of empathy, selfishness and entitlement. Your videos have been a huge source of therapy for me.
ended a friendship with a narcissist recently and I couldn’t be more grateful
You got this and are definitely on a true path to peace happiness and productivity.
Same here!!!
🤔👌🇬🇧
My mom was a narcissist and she gaslighted me so much that when i was in a bipolar mixed episode, I felt I was going actually crazy that I thought I had to kill myself to escape and the psychosis I had just added to the fire. When I was about to hang myself she caught me and she was immediately loving and non manipulative, but when I got stable, she would start again. It was hell. I was losing my mind, but I decided to trust myself and I moved to another country. Best decision of my life.
Wow that takes a lot of courage and spirit. I'm glad you are in the world to tell your story. I almost committed suicide once but when I thought it through, I decided to live instead of die. Things changed for me then.
Omg..terrible..glad you got out..and away from her..
Wow I’m glad you didn’t give up on yourself & found peace.
Sending kind healing thoughts your way, it's so horrible when someone you depend on for empathy treats you that way.
Thank God!! Be well!
I'm a narcissistic abuse survivor, the main narcissist being my mom. I'm 33 yo, I've been the only one working and paying for everything for over 5 years now but I've only just escaped. I finally found the strength thanks to 2 things only: 1)me being on an antidepressant for a year and going to therapy, 2)meeting my lovely girlfriend who *actually* helped me to get away - by being there, sympathizing, supporting me, organizing and physically helping with the move. She was the first and the only one to do so. It's been a month after I got away. I still dissociate and can't believe I survived and this is not a bloody dream.
Yes, my late husband was a narcissist. He was abused, humiliated and berated when a child.
Sign #1. You feel crappy when you’re near them. I dedicate this to all who have been abused. As they say in the movies, “Live long and prosper, and may the force be with you.”
If a narcissist is giving you attention, they can make u feel on cloud 9.
Exactly
@@thiscommentor2858 If you've felt the abuse long enough, you can spot the next one and their compliments can make you feel dirty. You know they want to consume you and it just makes you want to flee for your life. Or it goes in one ear and out the other. My mother used to get so mad when I would shoosh her when she would try and compliment me. That was my way of letting her know that I didn't need her approval for my decisions.
Yep.Live long and prosper...
@@saraho9568 I am not the one on cloud 9. His "object" of desire is someone else. On her own, she is light enough not even to jump a feet but with my husband she can reach cloud 9. Cloud 9 is heaven, she is coming to our home for 10 days, so it is more like hell for me.
Something I've noticed is that it carries on to other relationships, especially if you grew up with it. You have no gage for how you should be treated and are thankful that anyone is willing to spend their time on you.
So true! What’s interesting is how this plays out when validation goes hand in hand with a career.
yep, me too. Being overly grateful isn't a great attractive quality, and I do it all the time when someone I like spends any attention on me. Also the over apologising for nearly everything, apologising for just being. The new person in your life doesn't have the same low opinion of you the way the narcissist has, but my filters can't see that. Bollocks to all that now!!!
@@robertgd3429 thank you for sharing
@@robertgd3429 Ditto. I finally got rid of a 5 year 'relationship" almost 3 months ago BUT it took, and continues to take, a LOT of therapy. I almost fell on the floor when I was handed an exercise on do-dependency-only a handful of the 50 items did NOT apply to me. Now finishing "Co-Dependency No More" by Melody Beattie. Again, it is like she wrote it for ME and with this guy.
Oh gosh that is very true. I feel like I don't have a clue how to be myself.
At the mention of the chronic sense of self doubt...I crumbled. I feel so validated.
17 years with a BPD who appeared to have overlap in covert narcissism, factitious disorder and possibly Munchausen and Munchausen by proxy past 40 years old. She also has auto-immune syndrome which is sometimes connected to BPD. I’m fighting her in court now and I’m very close to getting mental health evaluation approved by the courts. I’ve spent $38,000 to protect my child and it’s been an uphill battle royal. Please wish me well… I’ve been through so much. It’s only the love and desire to protect my son that keeps me going some days. It’s really hard. 😞
Holy crap, I didn't even realize. I was wondering why I struggle so much to make decisions and form my own opinions or have my own dreams.
its cz gaslighting they did to ruin ur brain
Same here
Take my hand. Let's reject humanity and go back to monke
@@abbeyb.4596 I even get PTSD from their horrific abuse , u can only get some sense by talking to a survivor or someone who has been in the same shoes
@SSR Blackbird This is exactly what needs to happen
I just want to remember that feeling of breathing peacefully
Fight for your peace of mind and don't allow people to penetrate your force field. It will feel so much better that way. And remove yourself even if it's just into another room. Peace.
@@dianecfranich my name is Jess I have to use his yt account. Thank You for reaching out, it really gets overwhelming sometimes and simple things I don't know why I can't think of it on my own sometimes it means alot to hear from someone who isn't in the tornado and can see clearly
@@jontoering7792 ❤
Dude, yeah, I freaking feel you Jon. The only reprise I get is after 30 min of meditation, but it’s kinda unfortunate cuz I’d prefer it to feel less breathless ALL the time. I hope you’re hanging in there buddy, and best of luck getting rid of those wackos
composer same to you Friend GOD Bless
This has been my life beginning 1981. I left the quite abusive, angry narcissist in 1995, but married another “nice one” in 2002. I have believed that since he’s a “nice guy”, a “good man” (as my aunt frequently emphasizes) and not overtly physically and verbally abusive, the deception, cheating, withholding, stonewalling (he’d win the silent treatment trophy), neglect and sarcasm were often my doing. I never even considered that he was narcissistic until a few months ago.
My sister and my ex was sleeping with each other the whole time. Very depressing and hard to deal with.
Something Dr Ramani missed is this: Suspicion of the motives of everyone a person meets once the narcissist has gone. Difficulty in ever trusting again. Development of a thick protective shell that is hard to dismantle and prevents the sensitivity and vulnerability required in being in a new relationship. She was right about withdrawal. Faced with what I have just described, that withdrawal is a refuge. A lonely one. Making a person feel as if they are out of the running, in life. Imagine if some genuine good person approaches you and the first thing that comes to your mind is: What is this person up to? What is their motive? And so relationships can fail before they even start.
You are so right. Especially if you have had a narcissist in your life for a long time. My mother and ex were narcissists I have no idea what a loving relationship is - seems way too much of a risk to even try.
I agree that I stay away from the people around me. Trust issues, same ole crap again, can't love again, and the list goes on. At some point I either have to give up or take a risk that scares the hell out of me
I also had ex and grandmother who was a narcissist. The marriage almost killed me. I didn't have the agency or money to go to therapy. I was left broken and bankrupt. My dad says an alcoholic so went to twelve step for families of alcoholics in desperation. I found out the tools and support they use saved my life. Progressed alcoholism shows up similar to narcissism. Five years later in able to trust, be vulnerable, date, etc. There's hope. Even if you go to therapy or start your own support group. Helping each other understand what we've been through is invaluable. I wish you the best.
@@cinnflowergirl Are you saying go to alnon? Or addict meetings? There are no help groups in my area for narcissium. . for the abused.
Feel the same. I know this is not healthy but dear god I cant risk it to go through this again. I guess you have to get a certain amount of self trust, that youve learned, and all the bull the narc said about you is not true. I speak to myself here when I say, self love and self confidance is needed and needs to be worked on. Giving yourself enough self love and recognition that you will bounce quicker away if anyone mistreats you, and self confidance/ trust, that you know the signs and trust your judgement. So Ive heard, "love is not meant to hurt" yes we are not all perfect, but being more clear on your boundries what you will or will not tolerate, cuz from now on your gonna treat yourself like a 5 star queen, and will not except anything less. I think thats where we go wrong, our good people pleasing hearts that borders into disrespecting our self worth. Figure out what past demons are keeping you there, once you face your past demons one by one, feel the feelings, until the narc has no buttons left to push and you see them for who they are... Im way beggining of this journey, so all Im doing is talking aha. Best of luck. Take back your power at all costs! 💛. Love.
I burst into tears when she said the 5th one...that's the stage I'm currently in and I can't explain how horrible it feels to be misunderstood by everyone around me, especially my loved ones. I guess it was validating that I'm not alone or abnormal for struggling like this.
That’s were I am too. It sucks. I’m leaning on Jesus Christ and I think that alone is the only thing from keeping from completely losing my mind. I pray for you and all the other victims of narcissistic abuse.
OMG!!! Me too! I started crying because the paralysis is terrible. I don't trust myself at all and I feel so stuck. I have questioned my intelligence and have wondered what is wrong with me for years. This is definitely the issue. I was raised by narcissists and all my relationships have been with them. I know nothing else and I need to figure out how to function for myself in health.
You and me both, after 4 years with a psychotic psychopath sociopath I’m free but broken!
I’m in the exact same place also! 40 years and just woke up. However I find myself very confused and I just wander around the house without accomplishing anything! So sad because I had such a great childhood and was a very strong person before I met him and I am mad at myself for ending up with a person like this!!? But then I ask “why me”? I usually feel everything has a reason but now I realized that I have been forced to live in the shadow of his shitty childhood.. I’m done!
This must be so hard for y’all to endure. I don’t know what to say except what helped me get through which is: YOU KNOW YOUR TRUTH! Even though no one else may understand, please trust yourself. Again, know your truth, it’s valid and very real. Your feelings are very real and you deserve peace in your heart. Sometimes I felt so alone and in the dark but I had to keep reminding myself that I even if I am the only one who can understand what’s really happening, that’s enough. Hold on tight to your heart and keep watching dr ramini everyday. Best of luck ❤️❤️
Overcoming the web of a narcissist's manipulation is a journey no one should walk alone. Their strategies can shatter your sense of self and reality, leaving you to question everything, including the help of family and friends. The emotional, mental, and even physical toll it takes can be overwhelming.
I am currently going through a divorce with a narcissist. It's been a hard emotional process but I am staying strong
That’s why I always act strong because I know people can tell I’ve been through abuse and other narcissists have been attracted to my weakness. People don’t know how much of a warrior you have to be to survive this stuff.
Hopefully, you’re only “faking it till you make it,” because you’re ALSO doing the inner work to ACTUALLY become strong. 💪 As you reconnect w/ yourself by honing your instincts and developing strong, healthy boundaries, you can actually be NONCHALANT (i.e., not overcompensate) because you’ve transformed ENERGETICALLY, and everyone can tell…even narcs, which means that they won’t be hovering around you, like the vultures that they are. Monitor your healing progress by testing or observing how people react to you. I always saw my breakthroughs reflected in who I attracted (or didn’t attract), and how people treated me. My behavior also changed, but it was all organic to who I’d become. Take it all in stride, and CELEBRATE EVERY TEENY, TINY VICTORY! 🎉 You’ve earned it thru blood,sweat & tears, so never minimize anything you’ve worked hard towards, that means anything to you-as a bonus, you know it’ll upset every single narc who’s ever wanted to see you suffer & crumble.! 😂
Unfortunately I think my strength was one thing that attracted my ex covert narc. However he spent the next 7 and 1/2 years convincing me that everything we had was because of him. Therefore for the first two months after our separation I was panicking because I didn't know what I was going to do without him. It's been a little over a year now since our separation and I mentioned this to my daughter the other day and she laughed. I raised her and her brother for 25 years by myself and as she said, there's no one stronger. I just allowed him to make me think otherwise. What I'm saying is just being strong does not repel them. They are attracted to people with the qualities they want and are envious of
@@SLS61959 He USED your strength (and talents) to benefit himself, but he, like all narcs, are tapped into people’s VULNERABILITIES, and he saw that you didn’t know your own worth-no one who does would believe anything a narc says, because all truths are self-evident, and it’s obvious that narcs live in a world that’s comprised only of delusion. Your narc ex wouldn’t be able to convince you that HE was the powerful one, if you already knew the truth. At least you’re coming to realize it now. Life can be amazing, if you understand just how powerful you are-as you heal, any trauma-bonding or codependency will simply slip away from your programming, and you’ll feel REBORN. ✨
Please help me
@@munterboy1744 You have to make sure the narcissist in your life doesn’t know that you know. I have to play dumb even until this day around my parents. Please have compassion for yourself because Holiday weeks and weekends are particularly hard when you’re experiencing narcissistic abuse. Narcissistic abuse and tactics is really spiritual warfare. You have to battle in the spirit just as much protect yourself physically and mentally. Even if you are an atheist, I genuinely recommend that you go into a safe space today and pray out loud to God. My relationship with God, asking for help to God, and asking Him to heal me and help me survive this is the only reason I’m still alive. He will help save you. Listen to the Bible, don’t be afraid to cry and be honest about your situation - God will find you and make a way. I’m sorry that you’re experiencing this. Listen to Lisa A Romano who helped me understand what I was experiencing - she’s on KZhead. It’s really really hard and you have to accept where you are in order to start making changes and getting your strength and energy back. I will pray for you my friend
1. Walking on eggshells.
Pfsif YES!
oh thats how i realizied it in my relationship!
That feeling applies with other personality disorders. My sister had Borderline Personality Disorder and I never new how she was going to twist my words or actions into something I couldn’t recognize.
Absolutely
Always fearful. Everyday was planned according to how he felt that day
This breaks my heart because i hid from the world, i avoided being around family and friends, I lost any faith in myself ever making a choice that i didnt regret later. I hated being in this body and how alone and pathetic i was standing still and having shame and anger and most of me buried under the carpet…. I always felt like being in this relationship was an everyday reminder of how i was worth so little, and they are the crazy ones for being here with me, and settling for less..
I have had realtionships with narcs that were not intimate ones. They toy with your mental health. I am glad that I don't deal with any of them on a daily basis anymore
I cried when I watched this video…for 15 years I always thought this is not a healthy marriage, but to find out that I was abused for years.. is truly devastating
I am crying with you.
I cried when I started watching Dr. Ramani's videos as well. Everything finally started to make sense. It also took me 15 years to realize my marriage is like this. I am still married and trying to navigate it, but Dr. Ramani's videos have really helped me. You're definitely in good hands watching her videos. Don't lose hope and I wish the best for you!
It’s normal to cry and feel sad for our selves after this kind of mental abuse. But don’t let it drag for long time. After discovering his true narcissistic mentality, I was hurt even more for a while. I felt back stabbed. but somehow after the puzzle was completed and I saw the clear picture, he cannot hurt me anymore. I became immune to his manipulation. I wish you all the best! Be strong and make the narcissist plans indifferent to you. Look after your self and heal🙂
Me too😢
28 years for me. As a male I wasn't on the receiving end of physical abuse but a mountain of emotional abuse from someone who became a completely different person the day after we got married. All about power and control in a relationship. I wanted a better life and got that even being single, did not want to pass that point where it still wasn't feasible to exit - which I see is really sad considering a relationship should enhance your life, not put you in the depths of depression. It has upset me for the time I wasted and what I accepted when I should not have. 10 years on I have remarried and have a beautiful kind woman as my wife who truly loves and respects me, as do I with her.
In the aftermath of the narcissist abuse, I feel sick when I hear see or feel the narc is nearby. I am an empath and have never felt this repulsed by anyone.
Yes I believe you 🙏
Your not alone 💔❤️
Same here! I ran into an ex bf narc a few years ago and I was shaken up for days.
I’m currently having a situation with my family. every time I see them I shut down for a few days. It’s terrible. I would legit get sick to my stomach and have sweats etc. I distanced myself and received horrible guilt messages. I’m contemplating blocking calls next.
i think i was best friends with a narcissist for a couple years that i’ve lost sense of who i am. i doubt everything i do and i now believe i’m a narcissist myself. i have mental breakdowns over this and idek if what i’m feeling is normal :/
I spent more than 40 with a covert narc for sure because mostly everything I've recently and gratefully stumbled upon is soo comforting to know even though I have lost everything and living with my son.
Narcissists are incapable of loving themselves or anyone who loves them, They are not capable of loving anyone not even their own child!! feel so sorry for them, Me & My Ex Narc was Married for several years with Children. I did all a good and responsible wife should do to be faithful wife. My narc Ex still threatening to file a divorce and take custody of my Children with false charges because I knew he was cheating on me with his colleague at work and also painting me black to my own children. I had no papers sol cleaned to have money, my cousin told me about this American Spy Expert, who could get into his cell phone and all drives. I found Dirty things on his phone that really helped, real dirty things. All deleted Message, chat, Video, Call from 4 years back where unveiled to me. This was really helpful cos he worked my papers for me and all report are legally used in court, Don't let your narcissistic partner abuse you no more, follow them on instagram @superfix02
I have had to deal with this in several family members including a parent, a MIL and 2 siblings. Those relationships are soul crushing for a young person trying to figure life out. I developed so many life altering issues from this. Luckily I decided over a year ago to explore what was causing me to be so emotionally stressed all the time. Once I found out all the symptoms just kind of lifted. Over time some of these folks have passed on and sadly that is a relief at times, because most of us could have done without the bad memories of feeling strip mined for our emotional resources.
I had a narcissist dad and recently ended a narcissistic relationship when I realized I was in the same cycle that I was in with my dad growing up and what my mom went through with him. I feel so free now
So happy for you!
Thank God
That's really great! I'm only just realising now that my dad is narcissistic simply because I've now met people who are very similar who really frustrate me. My last boss always made me feel like I was less than I really was in order to keep me down and made him feel more powerful. It reminded me of my dad.
That was trauma bonding
Same
When I told my daughters that I was divorcing their narcissistic stepmom, their exact words were " Good! We get our dad back!!" I did not realize how much I had pushed them away!!
happy for u man
awesome! you never pushed them, you were very close to them and children are smart if you let them observe. You made the right decision and your children response is good sign 😃👍👍👏👏
I was worried about my teen daughter when the divorce papers were filed and I asked her how she felt about it. She said she liked it so much better after he moved out because there's no more yelling. There is now peace and quiet, no fear, no oppression. You don't fully realize how much in "fight or flight" mode you were in until there is calm and you forgot what that was like. It's a drama-free zone now ! We celebrate our new freedom while we heal from our wounds. The regret of giving any amount of time to that man, never mind DECADES, is a tough load to bear. Good luck to everyone here. Be kind to yourselves.
My daughters said the same when I left after more than 50 years
My father has stayed married to his narcissistic wife its unbelievable
My Mother was a Maligant Narcissist as well as my Sister and my ex Husband. I didn't know what Narcissism was until I was 50. I am older now and understand why I isolate and don't find it comfortable to travel far. My anxiety and phobias I believe masked the fear of the abuse I would get from my family members. I had to protect my spirit and identity from them crushing it. It goes on and on and now I am without any of them and I am working on peace within.
I was raised my a self rightious/communal narcissistic mother and was essentially handed over to a sadistic malignant narcissist in high school. My future husband and father of my children. It was so hard to break free and keep my kids safe. Never EVER looking back
always think someone is out to get you: constant state of PTSD
All their lies to others about you, that usually we never find out abut but sometimes you get a snippet here and there then suddenly one day you realize why things went weird with your best friend, or sister..then 10 years later you find out your hubby was hitting on her all the time in your home even, it was all .to keep everyone away from you so that you wouldn't have anywhere to go to when you finally hit your rock bottom with them. But that's why you feel out of touch with people, the narcs mean to make you that way. Best thing to do is get just a bi of righteous anger in you, for them trying to do this to you. Refuse to let him win... Rebel against the programming of lies he shoved down your throat all the time and realize that even after you went through so much, you are still a good person with a loving heart. Say .f u. to them every time you feel any bit of fear,and outloud declare you will be protected, happy, safe and a strong survivor of a woman !!
@@KathyHussey063 Thank you! those are great words. Narcissists will eventually fall on their own swords. just a matter of time.
@@ZetaCancri it sounds like hypervigilance, always being on the watch out!
I am in a state of hypervigilance all of the time, it feels. Waiting for the: WHAT'S NEXT !?!
Exactly my feelings about both my parents! Lots of fights, guns , in fact any weapon! I was beat with a belt from a young age! Got last one at 18 years. ALOT OF PTSD and lack of trust. Not knowing what or when they would go off the hook with each other or me!
social withdrawal is also because no one understands or if they know the narc themselves, just doesn't see them as anything other than a lovely person
Also because of self doubt abd confusion, we lose confidence
This is my husband's dad. His dad left when he was young and moved far away and remarried. A few years later my husband moved in with his dad. My husband noticed a difference in how his dad treated him and the adopted family. The adopted family was getting all the love and my husband was nothing but a bank, object to treat like shit. He never got any praise, nothing he did made his dad happy. His dad never treated his own grandkids as his own, the adopted family was more important. His dad just passed about a week ago and the flood of comments on Facebook on how loving he was was surreal. Nobody saw the other side of him, that he was not seeing or loving his biological family.
Yes, it's horrible. And you feel so hopeless, lonely & depressed. If I had not become a Christian at age 15, I would not have made it. (I had been contemplating suicide since I was 10.)
The social withdrawal happens because of the smear campaign set up against you. Once smeared, you feel unwelcome by your peers, very standoffish vibe other people give off towards you, which leads you to feel anxious and a need to socially withdraw
And they always befriending them and admiring them. These narcs are so enmeshed in your life everywhere you are they are including in your friendship circle. Then those friends think you are a ingrate because to them your mom is such a sweetheart, heck even better than their mom
I'm going through this now, I feel so valueless, hopeless, anxiety and sometimes I just feel I'm scared to make decisions. My partner made me feel I'm always the one who is at wrong. Even when I found him cheating he accused me of checking his phone. He sleeps outside and accuses me of being paranoid and insecure. He would never compliment me and compliments his work mates all the time. I'm really hoping to get the strength to leave soon.
I would advice you to leave as soon as possible before he breaks what is left of you completely, I got help from the name on my Gmail. Now am happy.
My father was a narcissist; my ex-wife is a narcissist; a close "friend" defines narcissism. Very tough to deal with and get over....
I felt like I had PTSD from my relationship. I was also ashamed to tell the truth about what I was being put through.
M m i feel you. Im a 46 year old man and have been divorced 14 years Have 2 kids with her. My feelings for her were always so strong. She wants me back but im now more aware of narcissism
Shame on them not on you
M M, if you do tell them most people won't believe you anyway. You have to live it to really know it.
im with you 100%!!! maaaan it was terrible getring over her abuse and then inlet her suck me back in and bam into the arms of another lover of lesser quality as she says. i dont deserve you so id rather be with lesser quality men… wth does that mean?????
@@eloisem3214 don't tell them that. Most sane people would believe someone when they say they're being abused.
All of these symptoms continue after you leave. Actually that’s when the real work begins.
Yes please, do tell me how to overcome....
Pete Farmer you first must find your spiritual anchor. Mine is Jesus Christ- not the church one, but the Bible Christ. Find a Bible with a good concordance. Focus on how you feel. Find that feeling in the concordance and read every verse until you find the one that resonates with you and meditate on those words. When I first left, the most difficult part was dealing with loneliness and knowing I made a choice to be alone. I found strength from the word of God in the middle of the night I clung to God’s word and the more I did the more peace I found. My whole goal was finding the positive, confident person I was before dealing with the soul snatcher, my narcissist. I got back into school. That really helped boost my confidence when I earned my AS in Communications. There was a time when I first left I did not have the confidence to cut hair and I had the only five star salon in La Jolla on Yelp. The self doubt is hardest to deal with, sometimes paralyzing. And that’s where the studied verses if the Bible saved me. “No weapon formed against me shall prosper.” Steer away from dating until you can fully date yourself- be comfortable in your own skin. No fear in going to an art show, a play with an old friend. We have to fall in love with ourselves again. I really did not like going to therapy They only wanted to fill me with drugs and keep digging into my childhood instead of helping me live today. They only wanted to deal with my mind when my spirit was aching. Be careful of groups, sometimes I found myself absorbing someone’s low energy. My best advice is to get back to nature. Walk on the grass barefoot. Sit at the beach and watch the sunset. Appreciate the little things. Enjoy the wind blowing through your hair, the sun shining on your face. Little children playing in the playground. Taking care of a dog is nice. It’s a lot of work, but caring for life that gives you unconditional love is very healing. Love and respect yourself and God will bring you through. God bless you Pete. It’s not easy, but you can do it. Trust yourself that you can.
Pete Farmer The fact that you used the word “overcome” is our true purpose here on earth. We are all born into some ungodly situation that we did not create, but we must “overcome”. And we do when we tune in to our creator and reconnect our mind, body and spirit. I’m excited for you Pete. YOU WILL OVERCOME!!!
@@petefarmer3514 I recently had hypnotherapy, my MY REAL life has finally started 😊
@@imanitrobinson9485 Thank you, as it is super difficult. Changing perspective. Working on it. This will take some time. Really appreciate your understanding. God Bless Everyone
I'm a man living with the reality of this from an older sister. Her words pierce through my skin right into my heart breaking it into millions of pieces. My self esteem is ruined and I've cried so many tears I could fill an ocean
Cut her off - my brother is a Narc - l cut him off nearly ten years ago - phew - l feel much better, l know he doesn’t though, embarrassing for him as the rest of the family are aware of this ! But me, l feel free and a sigh of relief 😮💨
I have been married 47 years to a narcissist that has been abusive to me and our sons. I am ending the relationship this year. I am in legal counsel. Thanks for your help
Good on you... taking your life back, when you finally understand what YOU want, is empowering. 36 years for me, 4 years out, my issue at moment, may not be the same for you... I'm still in litigation but been no contact for 4 years, heaven! ... do lots of research, Richard Grannon is also really good, stay true to yourself (learn to listen to your instincts again), understand they are going to do everything they can to push your buttons and make you look like the crazy one... have patience with yourself, be kind to yourself... and when it feels like you're taking a step back, you're not... because you're learning all the time and you are actually moving forward.
... and stay safe!
Please do
Good luck to you. You will be so happy not to be around that toxic energy
Good for you!!!
He convinced my family, and myself, that I’m crazy... I’m not crazy...
Did He pick You or did You pick Him?...You are Crazy, it's Healthy when You admit that. ""Alice in the Rabbit Hole'..everybody's Crazy Nuts. Your freedom is Owning You! The Standards of living are subjective to Your freedom.
Br8king Tha Silence see I'm worried about that because when you warn other people or family especially the ones you need and want in your life you almost feel guilty for messing up the family more or that it's your fault and then if you try to confront the narc that's tiring just thinking about explaining everything and then you just get confused for real especially if that gaslighting shit starts like in my case I've been going thro it all my life so far so trusting myself and instincts is so tough sometimes you know
My ex tried that too.
TheCreatrixs12 I understand. That happened to me. My family were upset with me. I was the bad one. I was blamed. “How could Simeon leave which a good and Godly man?” You cant explain it, you can’t talk about it.... the gaslighting, the twilight zone experiences.... you will drive yourself crazy. You just stop. You stop and stay or you stop and go. He will continue to try and ruin you..... he will try every way:character smearing, financially, put u in the dig house while he is flaunting all of his acceptance with friends and family.... it will be awful. I experience being dropped or ostracized and literally alone. I kept telling myself “it will be ok”. “It will be ok in the end”. “Everything is always ok. I already get through it”. “I don’t know when it will be ok, but I believe it will be.” I told myself, “if I’m disowned by my family, children, people... that I will find a place I belong. There must be people out there who would be happy to see me when I walk in a room, to be glad I came...... I will be open to that.” And in the process, I showed love and attention to my children and tried to keep my mouth shut. Sometimes it took time to see them again because I felt like their punching bag, being cut ti pieces, one child talking terrible about me to her friends... saying things that are not true.... it kills me. But, I’m told, in time, truth comes out. My other daughter has come around and isn’t so hard on me.... anyway, I could write a book... I’ll stop here.
Michelle Blair wow I don't know what to say but stay strong and maybe try to show them these videos but I understand it's so complicated Shit I was sexually abused by my narc and didn't say anything for years I still live with them and everything I even talked to my Mama and them about it my Mama comforted me and now it has to turned to forgive and forget since I'm the strong one like she says who can handle everything even tho I have shown to be very mentally unstable yet still be there for everyone but and this abuse is so muti layered and My narc barely knew what to say no sorry or nothing and they just went to ramble about themselves and the issue has just magically disappeared but I'm sick in bed for almost 9 months so now I have to come up with a game plan when I'm better thats not gonna rip my family more apart and or myself which is hard and I'm waking up to all of this and realizing the reasons I've been sick and it's just so much for me too imma stop because we both can write best sellers lol
Only found these videos in the last 10 days. SO grateful. Thank you. I am finally coming to terms with a narc mother and ex husband. 58 years of abuse since conception. I always felt like Cinderella - helper, invisible, truth teller and scapegoat all rolled into one. Now I know I didn't imagine any of it. I finally am able to let go of the hurt and confusion and I have a new clarity and new expectations about life. SO grateful. 🙏
Yup,30+years of developing the 5 (++) signs- used the ‘need to know ‘tactics I learned from him to ‘ghost’ myself away.Now after 4 years of therapy,am able to feel like I’m finally clawing my way out of the ‘quicksand’
I couldn't even place my feelings. I felt it was me. I even apologized. Hearing this makes me feel I'm not crazy after all, I have actually been abused!
I have been questioning my feelings too... When the time is right for you, walk away...
Same awakening I've had one literally been abused and I didn't realise it. Energy vampires man 😐😩
I was just engaged to a narcissist. I was with him for 2 years and always knew something wasn’t right and did question if he was a narcissist or had BPD. I finally cut him off 3 weeks ago and I’ve gone no contact. He’s currently out on a smearing campaign, which I was prepared for. I can’t be happier than I finally pulled the plug.
Good for you. And you proved to yourself you were right, an adult would be disappointed but find a way to part respectfully.
Good for u! congrats! 😊 the smearing campain is painful but u can make it. my ex used to threaten me and than tell his family im threatening him. it hurted than. but now it just shows i will be better without him.
He will never stop trying to get you to respond. After one year, today he left a message again! He is Blocked. I never ever reply. All I have to do is remember his treatment to me a year ago and I press delete!! Be on guard.
How are you coping? I have the same amount of time ...as you since I called him out on all his shit and he inevitably "discarded" me because he avoids looking within.
You’re so lucky you had that strength!
The more I watch these and the more my hatred sparks and my trauma bond weakens. Thank you so much, these videos are helping my healing.
Thank you Dr. Ramani for helping us with such meaningful interviews. I can say that I've been and am being narcissistically abused by my parents. Med Circle is an eye opener for many like me who think that the fault is ours all the time while the narcissist is right and apparently, we get into thinking that we're a mistake. But, in these videos... I know that many like me get an opportunity to see proof that says we were right all this while and that we, were being abused without our knowledge. I cannot thank this team enough. This is extremely important for everyone today.
The narcissist makes it difficult for the significant other to even think.
Raised by two and married to one. I'm over these people.
Same. Also my sister, brother and now step mom. Grandma, and Aunt.
Theres alot of them..its disgusting..
Wow. I’m sorry , that’s a lot to deal w/ at once. Hopefully you have some great friends to keep you sane.
What's your mental and physical health now? Is there any sickness physically or mentally?
Be careful. We are hard wired to use our opposite sex parents templates for mate seeking. I kept looking for a girl just like the girl who married dear old dad. Yeah, a girl who didn't like me and never would.
As a teen my fathers 3rd wife, my half step sister and recently my son has partnered to one. Only discovered that it wasn’t my fault losing people close to me because of your KZhead clips. Thank you 💔🙏🏼
You are absolutely correct on all the points. My father is the victim, the enabler. I've observed for years my stepmother abuses. I refuse to let her win, it's a tough battle.
The most difficult hurdle for myself in the beginning was simply regulating my emotions again. The narcissist create such emotional highs and lows, that it truly messes with the chemicals in your brain.
mike pepper facts omg especially if you've been with them for years or all your life so far you almost feel like a new person when you wake up but also so horrible and lost
Omg it’s the WORST THING EVER! and than being told that YOU need help! Wth
Omg yes, I just broke up with the narc AGAIN, and yeah I'm trained basically to freak the fuck out because little tiny things have meant disastrous consequences for so long. I haven't relaxed in four years. I've been in fight or flight mode for four years. Hopefully in time it will go away
This is not an easy thing to figure out. If you ever do, it sure is a sign you're a genius.
@@MicsDown2Nonsense The comment section has helped me get over that person.
Low self worth. You are at first drawn to the person who seems to lift you up, but then they dismantle any self worth you had until you feel or do all these 5 things Dr. Ramani talks about.
Correct
I was married to a narcissist for almost 10 years and we had 3 sons together. They are grown men now and altho I got out and had to cut off the relationship with him entirely but unfortunately my boys are still affected by his constant abuse. I have shared ur videos. I am so thankful for ur work!!!
My first two relationships were with overt narcissists (I didn't know about it at that time). The 2nd gave me PTSD. Got to know someone in August last year after my break-up in April. Turned out he was a covert narc with schizophrenia. Extremely worsened my PTSD although it was only 2 months. Craved physical intimacy so I got with a man (police officer) who I've been acquaintances with for 8 years. He started playing mind games (breadcrumbing, future faking, gaslighting). I confronted him & he ghosted me. Had 2 weeks of severe panic attacks, nausea, insomnia. I don't feel like myself anymore. I used to be someone with a shining bright aura, loving attitude, always up for a laugh, cocky, smiling a lot. I'm none of that anymore. Due to other things in my past + the abuse I don't really have any friends. But now I don't even wanna deal with people anymore, because I never got anything back. Only keeping to myself... don't trust anyone anymore, especially not men. Feeling lost in life.
My ex boyfriend was a narcissist. Still makes my heart race with anxiety thinking back to the stress the relationship gave me during, and after it ended.
Exactly the way I was feeling. The constant anxiety, stress, hopelessness destroys you. So glad you are out❤
How did you leave?
I feel that way too. It's been a year since I ended things and I am revolted by the thought of him, but still woke up this morning remembering a particular time he humiliated me, and then I thought of another time, and another...and even though I didn't have to be up and about for another hour, I just called it and got my coffee so I could just end the cycle in my head. It wasn't a break up where I felt loss. It was the humiliation that kept playing in my head that plagued me.
kzhead.info/sun/m8-rk8loaXOGpGg/bejne.html
God will intervene for us through prayer really
I cut the narcissist off a year ago July 2019. Today on my blocked messages there was his this morning! I have never returned his calls. Today, he sounded so sweet. “I have a million things to tell you!” All I have to do is remember his horrific treatment to me a year ago and I push Delete!
That’s how you stay strong
I haven't blocked him yet, but I do see the messages and I think the same. I actually do talk to him and it reminds me why I kicked him out. It's only been 2 months, but this is the last time in 28 years, I can't waste anymore of my life. After this long, he'll never change for me, and that's all I need to tell myself now.
Crazy how skilled they are at manipulating and charming others under their spell. It tricks the mind into thinking that maybe this time it is different and it can be pleasant. Those times are rare and even when they happen you know it’s going to be super soon before their true ways manifests toxicity right back into your life. That’s why I proud to see you steadfast in your boundaries. It gives me hope.
Congratulations, that's the only way to get rid of them and it takes a long time but you will do it!!!
I kept forgiving over and over til i shut down....it took 2 filings for divorce. First time, 2 daughters decided to get married and I knew he would not show up for the event, blaming me. After divorce, he did not show up for another wedding, "fearing my reaction!" Always, my fault for his deeds-- they were brainwashed, groomed; that is why I am very empathetic with Mallory & Mace--they are in such horrific pain! I ache for them! I hope everyone around them super- love them 24/7!
3 months out of a year long relationship with a covert narcissist and it has been the most destructive relationship I've ever been in. I was ashamed to tell anyone but in the end my sister and brother supported me and helped realise it wasn't my fault. The sex bomb and love bomb are the most confusing stages of them all.
When someone intentionally hurt your feeling, you react to them, then they call you "overreacting" for your reaction to their action/word(s).
Having a dog there is one of the most calming things. Thank u 💖
I wonder if it's Kyle's emotional support animal 🤔
Yes! Who cannot feel better just by the presence of such a doggy? :-)
Thats his baby ❤ my white cat is at my side at all times when im home and has to be at my side just like that with that same expression 😂. This is an emotional support human situation lol.
Fluffy kitties
I was a wreck that he was going to start licking his butt.
My mother was a narcissist. I didn’t have a name for it until I went to a therapist in my 50’s.
Susan Crook my mom is as well. What’s the type of narc that loves to the play the victim? Always saying what everyone did to her but not what she does to others? I’m in my twenties now and I’m glad that I can figure it out. I’m just mad that I couldn’t completely figure it out sooner. I’m glad that you finally free and hopefully get the healing that you deserve and need.
My "mother" too. I only figured it out when I was 36. It completely shaped my thinking and it's really hard to re-train my mind. But I've been free a year and it's getting better.
Same here. It's crazy that it took such a long time to put the puzzle together. Good luck to you!
My “mother” is a vindictive narc. Went no contact for 15 years, had a no contact relapse and went back,,,, of course the abuse continued... that’s when I found out that she’s a narcissist as well as my sister, who was her golden child and severely codependent on my mother ...and my sister’s daughter as well ...they keep it going from generation to generation ...I only found out my mother is a narcissist at the age of 51
@@youtuber-vb7qi my mum was also malignant covert narcissist, (say my psychologists when I describe her behaviour to them) I only realised what was going on when I was about 45, she died about a year after I got a good understanding of what was going on...I have many psychological issues as a result of a lifetime of targeted yet covert malicious abuse that nearly destroyed me...
I LOVE Dr. Ramani ❤ I wish your interview with her was more closeup on her face like her own videos. She's so expressive and makes you feel like she's speaking directly to us!
Was in a three year relationship with such a person. Thanks for making this situation make more sense. Your videos have answered some questions I had about myself and why I stayed in it so long. I will say men do go through this too.