" I Feel Like I Don't Love My Partner" & MORE - ROCD Q&A
* ROCD Q& A Form*
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ROCD is TOUGH! I am so proud of you for finding my channel. I have suffered from ROCD or Relationship Obsessive Thoughts for two years now! It has almost torn apart my relationship but I have found a way to push through it. You DON'T have to leave!
I'm here to share my advice and insight on your most common intrusive thoughts.
RESOURCES:
Black Mirror Episode Review:
• What Black Mirror's Ha...
My ROCD Instagram:
/ rocdandme
Here are the resources that saved me:
Sheryl Paul:
conscious-transitions.com/
HIGHLY recommend her courses (they're pricey but worth it)
conscious-transitions.com/bre...
The OCD Stories:
theocdstories.com/
Chrissie Hodges:
www.chrissiehodges.com/
My FAVORITE ROCD channel, Awaken into Love:
kzhead.info/tools/xNj.html...
What is ROCD?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLr04...
Follow me on Instagram (@jazzminlauren) to keep up with my recovery and journey with ROCD!
09:10: I get so frustrated because there will be days/times when I really feel the love and feel so sure of my decision and then, almost as if it is because I've had that thought I freak out and start doubting, finding problems and all sorts. IT IS SO ANNOYING.
Milly Tills same same😭😭
The finding problems is your brain nit-picking flaws out of protection for you. It’s trying to find red flags and will point out every flaw that your partner has, even the smallest things. That was a big trigger of mine and still is from time to time, but not as much as it used to be.
THE QUESTION AT 11:50 IS SOOOO IMPORTANT!!! I guarantee that’s why breakups and divorce rates are so high, especially because people see love as a feeling and not a choice!! And people with anxiety, when they feel symptoms of ROCD but have no idea what it is, they just run because they think their gut is telling them something. But as I’ve learned, gut feelings and anxiety don’t mix. When I get on a plane, my gut tells me that it’ll crash. So it’s similar to that in a sense! Love this video and I’m subscribing lol.
And a successfull landing takes us each time by surprise :D
Vida CK are we living the same life!!!???
If you’re making a decision out of fear, it’s the wrong one.
I also get sad when people ask me how its going so I tend to just avoid the conversation. (Even though everything is okay in my relationship).
I understand!!! Everything will be fine but the moment someone ask I freak out!!
Lets connect on instagram guys we need to help one another
Yes!!!! Somebody asked me about my boyfriend and im Getting so sad.. or i get a lil anxiety attack.. its like a trigger when someone ask me about my boyfriend..
Omg same!!!
@@m.i8276 I have the same issue and also the fact of hating it when happens. How did you solve it
I have been suffering with ROCD for 7 years in the same relationship and only realized it was a thing last month!!! I finally got.the courage to google "Why do I feel in love one minute but not the next" OMG I can't believe I have made it this far without even knowing what was happening to me...i had convinced myself I just wasn't in love anymore and was staying to avoid the the heartbreak it would cause him...so not the truth now know...just knowing I have this disorder is enough to get us through anything our relationship can encounter...thanks so much for your video...
How are you doing now ?
am i the only one that somtimes gets thoughts like “do i see her as a friend?”
this actually happens to me all the time
I have this as well.. I keep asking myself what is love actually? Are we just friends and call it a relationship? And I have many more other thoughts that keep me from doing things with him, I avoid kissing him too much because I start overthinking if I actually like kissing him. Same with sex, I avoid it because I doubt my intentions,.. Idk how to get over this
@@tinaxvp you should look up rOCD, the advice could really help
i have many times had this thought!!🥰
Thank you for posting this. You have helped so much.
Oh my God, you helped me so much! Thank you Jas
Tip: If you’re making a decision out of fear, it’s the wrong one.
Not helpful
@@hammadahmad6312 it was helpful to me 🤷🏾♀️
@@hammadahmad6312it wasn’t helpful to me either lol
Can you elaborate a little more because this wasn’t helpful for me.
@@Itsjennaaaay Never make a decision out of fear. Step back, take time to evaluate the situation, and if you’re going to give in to your compulsions because you’re afraid of what happens if you don’t, try your best to wait it out. I did when I was going through relationship OCD. Everything told me to leave him for irrational reasons. We ultimately got married because I knew this is what I wanted, and my anxiety went away. We’ve been happily married for over 2 years now. I went to therapy right after getting engaged. Did that for a year and trusted God’s plan for my life. Those two things saved me.
Thank You so much for all!! ❤️
This really helped knowing that there are others going through the same thing. I suffer from ROCD and HOCD. It's so difficult to cope with but I'm pushing through. I always feel anxious and tense.
Jazz, you’re amazing! Thank you!
Thank you for being so candid about this stuff--hearing your experiences is so helpful!
Not only are you super vulnerable and amazing, but you’re funny too and have been making me laugh which doesn’t usually happen when I watch serious KZhead videos like this! I want to be your friend 😂 much love girlfriend! ❤️ I needed this video.
Jazzmin, let me just say that this is the BEST KZhead channel I have ever stumbled upon. I swear you just saved my relationship. I’m so thankful I found your channel, because it has completely reassured me and changed my outlook on my relationship. This is a true blessing and the world needs more wonderful people like you in it. I’m praying for anyone struggling with RODC or OCD, because it is one of the most difficult mental challenges in the world. Congratulations on your engagement!!! And good luck everyone remember you are NEVER alone. ❤️❤️
God, i was going through this completely without knowing what it is. I'm so glad i found this video, my girlfriend and i literally just had a really hard discussion and i kinda revealed these thoughts i had and she and i started to assume we were gonna break up, but i really didn't want to because our relationship is amazing. God this seems like the best decision of my life, hope my relationship continues to take me places.
This was legit therapeutic for me. I had no idea people felt like me. Ive been with my boyfriend for two years and ive never doubted anything and after the quarantine happened and i couldnt see him or anyone for a while i started having obsessive thoughts abt me not loving him but they made me incredibly sad! Hope you all find relief 💕
Ines Assal this is the exact same thing for me I’ve been with him 2 years almost 3 and it happened over quarantine too :/ god bless you man
Im so glad im not the only one that it happened during quarantine, its still a struggle but im finding some relief
Same!! Honestly all this got even worse when the quarantine started and my thoughts just WOULD NOT stop. Its so weird because I miss him in most days but then when I see him I feel like I want to distance myself from him and it annoys me so much that I feel that way:((
Yooh! Thank u so much for this darling. I just relate 100%
Thank you so much! Helped me out a lot!
Omg!! Same feelings! I’m glad I’m not alone in this crap 😭. I feel so bad when they ask me about our relationship....When I just want to cry and I’m so unhappy.
My big struggle is that I go by feelings alone. In my brain, feelings=facts. It’s something I’m working on.
thank you for this video! this is a topic is looked upon as bad and this video truly calms my nerves
Thank you for this video. It’s so hard but I have faith. And one thing that helps me is “if it makes you uncomfortable it’s probably an ocd thought”.
I have this thing where i can't look at other guys in the face because im scared that i might flirt with them and they'll think i like them
Hi Bertha! This is SO common! Hang in there! You may believe you will lose control but you won't.
I have the same thing. I know I don't have the self esteem to act upon it but sometimes when I see other men I say what if he asks me out? what if I made a move right now? And then spiral. You are not alone. You haven't acted upon it. They are just thoughts.
Thank you for this video. My fiancee and I have a very loving and faithful 8 year relationship. I proposed last year and she accepted. Over the last few months, she's felt confused and questioned whether she loves me or our relationship anymore or not. She's requested space and we're currently on a two month break. It's so painful, but I love her and am willing to give her space and time to figure this out. Thank you for insight into what I feel she is currently going through. From the other side/SO's point of view, this is very insightful. I wish you and your spouse nothing but love in your marriage. Again, Thanks for the candid video.
I used to have hypochondria and other catastrophic thinking. I learned to stop the thoughts. Like, literally stop. If thoughts about some illness come, I think to myself, I must be tired and I do to sleep. As I observed they come mostly when I get tired. That is it, no second thought. I am totally new to ROCD topic but it sounds like of the same principle, non stop thoughts about something anxiety provoking. I tried a couple of times and it did work. Very soon as I managed to stop my relationship anxiety provoking thoughts I started thinking nicely of the person within minutes.
Thank you for sharing. This is literally my life. Thought I was just crazy. I fight so hard for the love of my life and feel so guilty for the thoughts I have. I was in therapy For three years in and out of different relationships... all I could say is “I feel like God said he isn’t the one” WITH EVERY SINGLE GUY. They wouldn’t even have to say a word to me before I met them and I’d have that thought. NO ONE UNDERSTOOD MY THERPIST SAID TO LISTEN TO IT. I refused. I fought. I found a psychiatrist and FINALLY I was diagnosed with OCD. People don’t get OCD. It’s not just about pencils being in a roll and cleanliness, ITS THOUGHTS. Weird ass thoughts. Anyways waited three years to know I’m not crazy, never thought I’d find a “why” anyways DO NOT GIVE UP. There’s an answer. ALWAYS AN ANSWER
Thanks so much! These videos are helping many people, myself included. I’m finally making good progress on beating my ROCD after nearly a year of struggling. Thanks for helping to spread awareness of it.
Thank you for the kind words! The first step to healing is awareness!
ManTownProductions how did you start beating it
Ive been so anxious around my gf because of this. It makes me not want to talk to her because of my anxiety, I just know if i leave ill regret it. I love her and i think she's perfect for me in every way. Im scared i don't appreciate her enough and i dont like her like i should
ikr like you know mentally you love them and want the best for them but then it's like a feeling of anxiety and allat makes you wish to leave
Your glasses in the added video are SO cute!
Beautiful video- new sub 💛
This video is so helpful. Wow.
Thank you for this!
Of course!
9:07 I have that thought all the time, it's only a relationship why am I putting myself through all this pain? Other people are able to just move on. For this question I always say it's fight or flight. Instead of facing the problem (Your intrusive thoughts) you are running away from them by leaving the situation. I like to think i would be a coward if I left but a warrior if I tried.
I’ve been suffering from rOCD for about a month and a half now and it is slowly killing me. It began with me questioning if I love my boyfriend enough, to morphing into ‘did I cheat on him or do i want to?’, and now it’s evolved into questioning whether I deserve my boyfriend. All i can really do is cry because I want and love my boyfriend so much, all I can feel is sad and guilty and scared. You make me feel less alone though, your personality is so bubbly and adorable and you’re so sweet and even though i’ve only suffered a short time and you a long time, I can relate so much. Congrats on your engagement, I hope your rOCD lessens up further, you deserve to live your life with your boyfriend without worry!
You are so sweet Jordyn. Hang in there!
Hey ! I’m in the same boat right now:( i feel hopeless. What happened?
@@cherryliils hey!! I actually got on medication but was unable to find an OCD specialist in my area. That was my first bout with relationship OCD, and i actually started to feel better on my own over the course of a few months, to the point of where my OCD didnt bother me. My bf and I are still together and we live together and own a cute dog. I lived ROCD free for about four years almost, but over this last winter I actually had another meltdown for the first time in a while after being attracted to someone else. I got back on medication and I'm seeing a therapist through NOCD and i'm slowly getting better! My anxiety has improved quite a bit. I'm sorry that you're having to hear that i'm not completely better, but with OCD it's never linear and its a pain. I'm so sorry you feel hopeless right now, but give yourself some compassion. OCD is terrifying and you feel like you don't know yourself. Medication and therapy have really helped me take my life back. I hope my story of feeling okay for 4 years helps you feel more hopeful. I hope you feel better dear, you deserve peace
@@jordynbassford6893 I’m extremely happy to hear that you did beat ROCD and that you were able to share more beautiful moments with your partner:). And same here! I can’t find any ocd therapist where i live and going to usual therapy doesn’t help me, instead it makes me feel worse. I was considering taking medication as well. May i ask which type of medication you took and how long did it take to make affect? I’ve been like this for exactly one month and it’s super debilitating. My boyfriend is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I’m grateful for having him in my life but these thoughts are super scary and i feel really anxious around him because i can’t feel anything and I don’t know who he is anymore because of this horrible thoughts. This started as “what if I don’t love him” to multiple & awful nonstop thoughts… Good luck again with your recovery!! You’ll get through this 💞 wishing you the best! Thank you for telling me your story:))
@@cherryliils i really suggest NOCD if your insurance takes it! it's online therapy and they take quite a few insurances. I love my therapist she's such a hoot we laugh a lot and she helps me feel seen. For both times I had a bout of ROCD, i started taking lexapro 10 mg which I believe is a pretty standard dose and med for anxiety/OCD. I honestly started feeling differences after a couple weeks but the major differences happened after a month or so. The first few differences were just less anxiety overall, and the major differences that i noticed were me just being able to get back to doing the things i love. I swim for my college club and i was skipping it so much, and i love going to class but I wasn't doing my homework. I started doing those things again and just having more energy. Something that really helped me was thinking "i dont have to make a decision right now" and just sitting with the uncertainty. I know you're probably feeling a lot of guilt, shame, sadness, and doom. But you can choose to be with your boyfriend, thats something you can control! OCD latches onto what you love most and makes you feel like you have no control. You can't control your intrusive thoughts, but you can control what you choose. Tell yourself, I'm having these really scary thoughts but hey, maybe they'll turn out to be something but right now, I'm deciding to stay with him. I know you got this, ROCD is genuinely so awful but I believe in you! It really can and will get better. Reach out to your general practitioner for getting on some medication if thats what you wish! I am also on buspirone which takes away physical symptoms of anxiety and hydroxyzine that helps anxiety/panic attacks and to sleep so its more take as needed. All the meds i listed might not help you specifically but with our mental health its always worth a try to find what works for us!
Thank you very much... You're amazing. 💕
Thank you!
I just discovered what ROCD is like a week ago after searching for a reason for these specific feelings for so long... it was depression, then BPD, then extreme anxiety... not to say that i dont have those, but reading an article on ROCD.... i felt my body just breathe such a sigh of relief. i was so afraid of my feelings. thank you SO much for these videos. youre doing a great justice to those dealing with this ❤
Kari Bennett that relief is what drives ocd on and on cause u seeking reassurance in order to recover u have to do no reassurance
Kari Bennett imagine your thoughts throughout the day as different small boxes .Each box contains a thought.your brain doesn't doesnt know what is in each individual box but you dig in,pick out one box and say ""this one is important !this is one scary!""your brain puts a red flag on the box and says"ok whenever i come across anything similar,i will warn you in the news in conversations in anything.i will even make things up just to warn you"then when a triggering situation comes up it gives you this same box along with automatic fear .it does not understand what is inside the box .it just reminds you of it .you view it as if it means something and fearful.the brain sees your fear and puts a bigger red flag.next time it will send you more fear.this is why is important to not react.you have to "unflag" the thought.that text is from a specialist in ocd recovery Ali Greynond!she has fully recover from ocd and helping other people recover as well.you can watch her videos here in youtube at KZhead
@@panagiotapoliti8906 thank you for taking your time to respond, ill definitely have to look into her! and while i agree, it was more so like an epiphany that i now can find specific tools to help me, rather than a quick sigh of relief :-)
@@kb4253 no problem 🙂 .
It feels so good to know that I’m not going f***ing crazy, the flood gates opened when I watched this it explained everything to a T I just lost it and I cried harder then I ever had in my life, I’m not alone...Thank God.
I’m also about to be a new dad too and maybe it has a lil part of what I’m feeling as well yeah that sounds awful but keep reading please let me explain...I kept having thoughts like f**k this I’m out; like I want to run away, disappear without a trace I hate it because it’s not how I truly feel I love my wife and son more than life itself. It’s so infuriating that I’m letting these little thoughts crumble me. I just want to yell at the top of my lungs like LEAVE ME ALONE!!
As soon as my boyfriend leaves in the morning I panic as if I'm going to lose him and we'll never see each other again and I'm going to lose him. I feel guilty about my own thoughts, I start thinking that I don't deserve it, that he's going to end up leaving me, that it's selfish of me to make him live my Hat, that it's going to end up ruining my relationship or even that I'm going to end up panicking and not leaving him because I don't love him because the fear and doubts that come into my mind tell me to do so. I tell myself that if I want to get rid of anxiety this is the best thing to do but it's not true because it constantly follows me in every relationship. I have always seen love as a fairy tale everything must be beautiful, I must have butterflies, it must always be passionate love, if I don't want to make love or if I don't think as much about it as usual one day I leave in fear and I still think this famous question !? Do you love him? Are you afraid to lie to yourself? Are you afraid of being alone or hurting him or yourself if you end the relationship? Is it really an illness that I have or is it really my feelings or is it even that I come to believe it by thinking about it! It's almost 1 year since I've been in a relationship and everything is perfect we laugh together, we have good communication, I like him physically and we have good sex and we are happy when we are together. We had some small bickering but nothing serious it was mostly my fault I have already had small fits of jealousy about him and I am very dependent and insecure. Just the thought of losing him makes me want to throw up. But I want to understand why I think the worst is the worst? Why always see the negative? Sometimes to relieve myself and it feels good for a while but it doesn't last, I watch videos of people doing the same thing as me and supposedly it's the ROCD in English I believe 90% that I have this intrusive disease because it did the same thing to me in my other relationship I was 7 years in a relationship, and when it was 5 months ago I started having little thoughts like.. Do you think it's true love do you think you really love it? And one morning I woke up and started having an anxiety attack and going to vomit and cry and I didn't understand anything at all because everything was fine. By impulse and fear, I started to leave him and my mother came to get me I started crying as if it was him who left me as if it wasn't really what I wanted but that my head was telling me you'd be better so you won't have any more questions about anxiety so I was three days crying and not seeing him anymore I was afraid to see him I was afraid when the seeing it again I thought it was a lost cause but at that time, I didn't know what I had but these thoughts followed me all the way through my relationship for the 7 years except that it was much worse when I took medication but the thoughts were not always there from time to time and at one point I tried to look for the spark we had lost when we went flirting but it only made me miserable. I cheated on him once in the south it was 5 years since we were together and I cried so much after doing it I was afraid to lose him and I didn't know why I had done that it wasn't in my values I had never cheated before. But compared to my current relationship the sexual understanding was not good, he was flat didn't want to let go of his computer, there was no good communication and I had the impression I had no future with him so after 6 years he came to live with me and my mother and it was going more or less well but it was starting to get worse but I was no longer happy and there was no anguish at that time nor any toc and while working I started to be attracted by a colleague and I cheated him with him. I felt bad, guilty, I felt sorry for myself, but I really knew at that moment that I didn't love her anymore and that it's not questioning and crying like at the beginning. So I ended up leaving him and I didn't feel any pain or insecurity just a little bit of pain because I felt sorry for him and I was nostalgic after 7 years but I will never regret my decision and 4 months later, I meet the man of my life and I am super in love and everything is fine it is fusional and I have never loved anyone so much. After the magic phase I thought I had gotten rid of my problem, but as soon as I saw it and I didn't have a butterfly, I told him why I didn't feel a butterfly, and sometimes if it was 5 days ago we didn't know because I didn't have these butterflies I questioned myself and it started again and that's when I clicked and said no wait... There is more in the story ! All I know is I want to heal...
I really love my girlfriend with all my heart and soul. I’ve really been plagued with intrusive thoughts I feel like I want to cry. I lose my appetite and stuff thinking about this. I love her I really do :( ...... really really do 😔..... I’ve dealt with anxiety my whole life I never want to lose her I wish I was normal I don’t like these thoughts I fear the future I don’t wanna mess up
This comment stood out to me because I can relate so much. Just know that it’s not your fault at all, and your mind is trying to convince you to believe the opposite of what you know in your heart. I understand OCD very well and it truly is an uphill battle, but you are not alone and it’s completely normal to experience these thoughts. But remember they are irrational. I wish you the best and I pray for you and everyone else!
Alexia Chochos hello. It’s been getting better. I been focusing my mind on things that keep me productive such as working out and such. It hasn’t been too bad but it’s human to feel doubt. Always remember your actions reflect what you truly want and it’s not always your head. Spend time with your partner and tell them how much you mean to them. There will always be good days , bad days, mediocre days. But love is being there everyday for each other emotionally , and physically , etc. always be positive and remember feelings pass like anger , sadness, even happinesses. Love is the choice of not giving up on someone and being loyal. You can do it !
MLG_PANCAKE 310XD I’m so happy to hear you’re improving I’m so glad I found this video because it has really helped me feel better now that I can put a name to it and you’re absolutely right thank you so much!
Alexia Chochos I wish you all the best stay positive 🌲🍂
MLG_PANCAKE 310XD thank you so much I wish you the best as well you’ve got this! :)
Is it normal to question wether you you want the relationship anymore? I’ve found myself stressing and thinking about this over and over along with other things. But I always want to talk to her, always miss her and have even sought out help to see if it could help out a little. I try not to think of that question in general because even when I tell myself I do want it, I convince myself that I don’t
I'm a guy and I still found this helpful. I may have ROCD. There arent many men talking about ROCD on youtube that I've seen. I think the single biggest cause of ROCD for me is believing (without realizing) what I see on television and in movies. When we see someone get shot in an action movie we know that's fake but for some reason I've always taken the relationship model presented in these films as real when it is instead completely false.
Hi Mark! I know a few men who suffer with ROCD - In fact, a lot have reached out to me! Stuart Ralph is a huge advocate for OCD, as he once too struggled with ROCD! The Hollywood love model is truly the most detrimental to this disorder. It's hard, but we have to un-learn everything we've thought about love our entire lives. Detach from this fantasy, and you'll discover that true love is more like a warm bowl of oatmeal than a firework. ;)
@@jazzminlauren Thank you :)
Thank you - I unfortunately have the same condition and its extremely exhausting. I love my partner but I have severe road and my god just people who also have it understand me. I feel so alone with it.
This was very helpful Jazzmin. All this happened to me and I was weak and ended up leaving my partner because of doubts 1 year ago. At the moment I having a hard time thinking what if this breakup thought ruins another relationship?
10:00 mins in - 'BOOM' - nail on the head lady. Honestly, I'd pay you to do a zoom meeting with me so I can discuss what I've gone through since the start of the year. It's been a nightmare.
Hey! Thank you so much for posting this... It's so needed as there are not enough resources out there for people with OCD/ROCD. I wanted to ask about the last question, where the listener asked "did his name and people asking about your relationship trigger sadness" because this sounds like what I experience... Is this common?
Hi Jenna! Yes this particular worry/obsession is very common! If you're struggling with ROCD thoughts, you're essentially tricking your brain into believing you don't love your partner. If people ask about them and your relationship during this anxiety, of course that would trigger sadness! In your head you truly believe you aren't in love, so you begin to act like you aren't. For me, the trick was to act like I WAS in love! Even if it felt 'off'. It acts like an exposure and teaches the anxiety that YOU are in control!
i am struggling with this big time. i know i love my boyfriend and i know that i want to see him down at the end of the isle and i know that i want to have a family with him and pretty much spend the rest of my life with him. anyways, every time i tried to think of things to tell myself to tell myself i love him my brain just always jumps to oh well your just saying that he because you feel bad for him and don’t want to break his heart. did you ever deal with that?
Does anyone else ever feel hesitation to show affection to their partner or focus too much on their bad physical features and/or some quirks they have? I have never felt like this b4 and i wanna know if anyone else struggles with this?? Im obsessing over it bc i want to love my partner the best way I can but my feelings feel uncomfortable and idk why....
Oh my god your puppy !!!❤️
He's my favorite!!!
Can you get ROCD symptoms after two weeks of dating? I was having the time of my life during 2 days, when it suddenly kicked in. The anxiety took over and I panicked. Since then I haven‘t felt anything for him anymore and I left the situation. I keep on thinking about it, because I once had feelings for him, but that was a few months ago. I‘m still wearing his sweater he gave me, because he didn‘t want it back. I came out of a relationship that ended in the same way, that was in January this year. I thought, it‘s not possible that this happens all the time. I have general anxiety since I was 12, now I‘m 18. The same problem ROCD-like is happening with my friends now. I question everything about them, about me, I have literally 0 certainty about anything. I thought, and still am, thinking that I was going crazy.
Thanks❤️
Thank you
You talked about the acts of love you do even though you doubt your love for your partner.. I am also struggling with this right now and I'm constantly asking myself if I love this person or even like them and yet I do acts of love, but.. Then I start overthinking. Are those acts of love compulsions? Am I doing them because I'm trying to convice myself that I do love him? And so on and on. It's a vicious cycle
Second this. Like I make him a cup of tea and question myself am I doing it out of love or am I trying to convince myself that I Love him?
I read a horoscope and it’s saying separation and change in sex and love. I do not want that. It triggered all of these negative thoughts in my head and triggering these feelings of having to break up with my boyfriend and finding faults in my relationship. I really want them to go away cause I didn’t hav these thoughts before I read that. What do you have to say?
Oh god!! I am freaking out what if I was never in love with my partner!!? I am scared!! I don’t wanna break up with him!! What if I am bored with him!!? 😖
I found out about ROCD after i broke up... i’ve told her i want to start from square 1 *after* ive talk to a professional and gotten help cus even if i suffer from OCD/ROCD i still have other problems in my head. Dont know if anyone here cares just needed to ventilate a little
I seen my ex and now he’s in my head and I feel numb towards my boyfriend I hate it. I know I love my boyfriend but my Ocd has been triggered please help
this video is making me feel SO much better but...i have a question: is it normal if this has started in the precise moment i have found someone attractive? i always have that boy in my mind because i am scared that i like him and this makes me suffer (like CRYING, even throwing up). sometimes i even think “i like this boy” or when i am with my boyfriend i think about the other one, but this makes me SUFFER because i am so scared that what i think/feel is real. Is it ROCD or i do really like this boy and i don’t love my boyfriend anymore? i feel so bad and scared because i don’t want to lose him... pls help me 😖 starting therapy tomorrow and i hope that will work
Yes! This helps so much!! Question: Did you have anxiety when he proposed? If so, did that trigger you even more? Do you think that's normal? How did you get rid of those thoughts?
Hi Tatiana! When Arthur initially proposed, I didn't feel all too anxious. I was a bit in shock, and kind of riding the high of attention from family & friends. Once we arrived back home and kind of got back into our routine and regular life, the anxiety hit me pretty hard! I somewhat had known that whenever I did end up getting engaged, I would have a lot of doubt and intrusive thoughts. The fact that I kind of prepared for it and knew it was coming helped me not be as triggered by it! It's definitely normal too! Getting engaged/married is a huge transition, not to mention the stress of it all! The key is to not 'get rid' of the thoughts, but to allow them to be there but not attach meaning to them. Imagine they're in a language you don't understand. Once you can detach yourself from the thoughts and refrain from the anxiety it causes, you'll start to notice a decrease in the thoughts.
You're heaven sent! THANK YOU SO MUCH! My bf and I have been talking about getting engaged for a while now, so I think the question is coming soon. Thank you!!!!
@@tatianaivan8363 Congratulations! Talking about marriage is a big step, but it is so worth it. Feel the anxiety and know it is completely normal! Expect it, prepare for it, and brace the storm. It is SO rewarding!
@@jazzminlauren Thank you!! Okay, I'll try not to shy away from the convo next time! Thanks again!!!
So I've gotten pass the hump of rocd and now must get pass the hump of hocd. Before the rocd I dealt with big hypochondriac I sent myself to the ER like 3 times thinking I was having a heart attack. Before that I'd been living in a cult that still lingered on my mind even though I left it, basically my whole child hood was pretty fucked and my mom was a single mom who unfortunately wasn't the best in the past but it's better now.
I get so much thoughts and when I am like maybe I don't love him my brain goes like Oh then why don't you break up if you don't? Then I don't know what to do. Do you have any tips?
Anyone else seem to not feel as connected with their partner?
When we have ROCD is we felt jealously or not ?
Thank you so much! I have a question tho. Do you ever feel like you are scared to make effort, because you feel like your relationship is not gona work out and you just get doubts? It’s bugging me that I feel like this. I’ve been in my relationship for nearly 10 months and it feels like I’m not wanting to make effort anymore.
Hi! I was definitely scared to take action into healing. It's essentially just the fear of being "okay" again, and what that will mean for your relationship. One way I like to look at this situation is as follows; Are you really not wanting to make an effort in your relationship, or are you really just not willing to make an effort to fight the anxiety?
Jazzmin Martinez Jazzmin Martinez thank you for the reply! I’m going for help tomorrow. But I meant, my gf talks about moving in together and having an amazing future, but when I think of it, I can’t see this future, like I think it’s not gona happen, and it feels like I don’t want todo it. But then it might just be the anxiety, because I’m thinking that I’m going to break up or something?
@@typical_taurus1938 When we spend so much time in our heads preparing for the worst case scenario - it's often all we'll see! Just because you can't envision the future together, doesn't mean it isn't there!
Miss Tornadomeg how are you doing now?
@@typical_taurus1938 hey girl i sooo relate!! give me you instagram or snap.. i really need somebody to talk too:(
For 5 months now... something triggered me badly. I’ve constantly obsessed for 7 years if I love my partner, if I wanna be with him forever, my head constantly nitpicking, obsessed about people judging him.... I felt love randomly and felt happy but it only lasts about 2nds... I know I love him... but lately it just feels like I know I’m not in love with him... but I know I wanna be with him.. even in the past I showed my love to my partner even though I obsessed... now I constantly feel like I really don’t love him and that he’s a stranger to me now.... I wanna have sex but I can’t bc of the feelings I get when I have sex with him... I show that I wanna have sex.. I feel like I don’t find my partner attractive.. 😭 I feel like I don’t love anyone.. or I just don’t care about anyone... I’m on Zoloft 50 mgs I’ve been with my partner for 10 years... 😞 he knows I’m suffering and he’s been so patient.
Today I was watching videos on how to stop the compulsions, then I saw that exposing them would improve, and suddenly when I saw that it would improve I stopped feeling the compulsions, it seemed more like my brain saw that I found the solution, and now that I'm not feeling the compulsions anymore it seems that I do not care about my relationship, and I really want to care, someone help me? has anyone gone through this?
how are you?
hey, i don’t know if your still on this page. if you can reach out that would be great.
Did you also have the problem that on the days when the thoughts were not quite so present you felt even worse? So on the days without ocd those were missing?
Lilly 2610 I feel this a lot today! When thoughts are not there, I am looking for them because my mind is convincing me that I found my truth
HOCD - Homosexual OCD is when you constantly question your sexuality. You do tests to see if your attracted to the same sex. You have triggers too. This combined with ROCD makes it ten times worse. Coz now I think I'm gay and I think my boyfriend's gay and im doubting our relationship constantly.
How are you doing now?
@@Nicole-yx8ms much better now I have much better control over it now.
@@chelsigorridon this makes me so happy! What has helped you get to this place? Did you ever lose all attraction to your boyfriend, and to men? Did you truly feel gay?
@@Nicole-yx8ms I never lost attraction to men at all. It was finding women attractive that triggered me and finding men attractive because I thought it was wrong. I thought appreciating women's beauty must've meant I was I gay and if freak out about it so much that I wanted to avoid being around them at all cost. Now I've come to learn that I just love the female body and it's mesmerizing to the eye. And it's okay to appreciate beauty in everyone. I never truly felt gay because I knew I liked men and I still do. I'm probably 90% straight 😂 on the spectrum. The other 10% leaves room for exploration.
@@Nicole-yx8ms there were times when my OCD would make me think my partner was even gay because he was comfortable expressing his masculine and feminine traits. That freaked me out.
When I wonder if I am monogamous or polygamous is part of ROCD??
It gives me anxiety the fact that people with ROCD have married their first partner 😂 or at least that what I've seen
I have a question. Is normal with ROCD question your sexuality and think you maybe can be bisexual ir lesbian because you dont turn enough with your bf?
That's HOCD . Homosexual OCD when you constantly question your sexuality. It's a bad one. I suffer from it on a daily basis.
Also suffer from it and it intensifies when you try to avoid the same gender so don't do what I did and think if you avoid it and run it'll be fine lol. The brain is a bitch and I went through 21 years not questioning my sexuality even attempting to long distance with a girl I was close friends with until I broke it off cause A) I didn't actually care for it B) I fell in love with my current bf even though it was months before he asked me out lol. Btw there was a period of time I did try to identify has lesbian because EVERYONE kept thinking I was but I just didn't like it, I like men lol I fall for men but I do think women are just as attractive and that's okay lol. OCD is like "STOP YOU THINK GIRLS ARE CUTE YOUR GAY FAM." False lol 100% false 😂
Did you ever have the thought "I have to break up with my boyfriend?" And how did you get through it? I am so stuck
Having that thoughts rn. How are u now?
I am stuck too and really scared that I might really wanna break up.
@@shirayuki6119 I am a lot better since therapy thank you for asking!
@@fobluv2011 May I ask some advice how you overcome it?
@@shirayuki6119 my therapist taught me to think of it as a monster bullying me and when I get thoughts to say "thank you, brain" and go in with whatever I was doing or planning to do. It seems simple but it takes practice and is hard.
Anyone suffering this message me and we can speak about it? I feel so alone even though I know other people have it💕
I'd like to talk with you :c
how are u now??
I know this comment is late and this question is kind of stupid but am I allowed to contact you about some advice?
You can search all ur questions at youhaveocd .Ali Greynond is a specialist at ocd recovery !she had ocd and fully recovered you can watch her videos and do the work for recovery
Okay thank you lots 😀
@@DijhaMarie21 no problem 🙂
Hi! Yes you can contact me if you'd like. I cannot give advice but sometimes it can be very therapeutic to talk to someone who has been through what you have!
Thank you so much i suffer with it for like 8-9 months, and one more thing i am scared about finding other attractive and having crush i am scared becase when i see stranger or person in school that i feel attracted to i am then scared i love them and that i dont love my boyfriend, i cant then get rid of other boys our of my head and it makes me so much guilty and certain things just pop in my head and my head start to make fantasies and it makes me incredibly anxious. Have you ever had like this? that you find other attractive an question feelings for them and your boyfriend. I hope you can understand what i am talking about because English is not my first language.
Hi! I have definitely had that obsession. Take a deep breath. It is COMPLETELY normal to find others attractive! It's simply a part of human nature, and it does not mean you love your partner any less.
queenofhades 0 don’t worry about it! I’m the same as you, I even sometimes have dreams of other people who I found attractive. It is normal, and your head just makes a big deal out of it.
I thought I had a crush on a guy ( thats how it all started)... It felt teeerrible so I can completely understand how you feel.. Rocd isn't easy so hang on.. It's all in your head!
Thank you everyone for support its very lovely and i appreciate Your time 😊
Katerina Bosnakidou my whole ROCD story began with ‚ crush’ either so my heart goes out to you
😢
Can I ask is it normal in rocd to feel a sense of relief thinking about breaking up? Most people say they feel anxious but for me, I want to be with my bf but if my anxiety would go away I would consider leaving him. Is that bad? I'm just at a point where I'm exhausted and just want the anxiety to go away so I can get on with my life. It's only been a few weeks, but it's very draining. If I leave him is that just giving into a compulsion? I'm not even sure what my compulsions are, I'm just anxious most of the time. I have been distracting myself and not arguing with the thoughts and that has helped,but I still dont feel that glowly love feeling for him like I did before. Its different to my other OCD. My other OCD I had urges but the thought of doing them made me extremely anxious, but this urge it's almost relaxing because I know If i do it i will be at peace. I'm so confused. :-( can someone help, anyone been through this, is it still rocd if I get urges to break up and the thought of that actually gives me relief, becuse then I know the anxiety will be all over?
How are you doing now? I feel the same
@@xmitka hey how are you doing now.
@@lamahaytham908 I am good, it was just illusion. After a few months I knew that I love my partner and now I am confident in my decision to stay
@@xmitka How did you overcome? Did you feel she wasn't attractive anymore?
@@paulinacicha455 widzę że jesteś z Pl więc odpowiem po polsku😉 zaczęłam godzić się z tym wszystkim co czułam w tamtym momencie, przytakiwałam na wszystko o czym pomyślałam czyli że go nie kocham, że powinnam zerwać, że nie podoba mi się i nagle po jakimś czasie zaczęło być wszystko tak jak kiedyś. Akceptacja jest najważniejsza i dopiero po tym będziesz w stanie stwierdzić czy to wszystko iluzja czy naprawdę go nie kochasz. Warto też dodać, że rocd i inne zaburzenia skądś się biorą i w moim przypadku to była kolejna odsłona mojej nerwicy. Jeśli u siebie widzisz jakiekolwiek zachowania kompulsywne to bardzo prawdopobnie ze to właśnie twoj następny konik do kolekcji🤪
Is it ever too “early” to feel rocd in the relationship been dating for 1 year & 8 months
Kpop Lover There is no such a thing as “too early”. Relax, it’s ok:)
Honeymoon phase dies off 6 months to 2 years later so it's very possible to face ocd after it ends
@@AllieBee00 I've always struggled with terrible anxiety, which I now know is actually BECAUSE of my OCD (and also sort of its own thing... complex), and the second time I hung out with my now-boyfriend (13 months), I had a panic attack so bad I dissociated and turned white... and the ROCD thoughts began right after that. (Actually, they were present beforehand, but I just didn't realize it.... very minor ones, without the resulting anxiety, including "Is he cute enough?" "Do we actually like the same things?" "Will he judge me if he finds out i love to go shopping?" etc.... They're in my journal as evidence lol). I believe it starts as soon as there are "Stakes" to the relationship... i.e., fear of losing the person or fear of anything "bad" happening because you care about/love this person. Once loss is on the table, ROCD kicks in (in my experience).
mins started when I realized I liked him, now we're dating and it's worse but I'm trying to be strong
How do I know if I actually have it or if I’m just unhappy in my relationship
The million dollar question! Often, we believe doubt means don't (which it doesn't!) So try to take a step back and look at what you are telling yourself in your head! In addition, if these thoughts and feelings are making it physically impossible to live your average every day life, then there's often more to the story!
And is it normal that after months of questioning your love for him you just feel and believe that you don’t anymore?
Mary Cerda Omg this is me right now :( I feel you. I'm at that 5 month mark where I've gone through the bad phases of anxiety and no longer am in shock with the intrusive thoughts. They're always there, so I guess I've just gotten sort of unfazed by them. They still cause anxiety and now they're making me think and feel it means I truly don't love him snymore since I'm not as anxious as I used to be. But I believe this is normal, it's a part of recovery. It won't always be pretty and we won't feel 100% ourselves the minute you start getting better. I believe what we're going through is just another type of intrusive thought throwing us off guard. Our reality has been distorted for a long time and now it's going to take a little more effort to bring us back to it. We can do it! I hope you're going to an OCD therapist. I think it will help wonders. Start with mine next week. Wish you all the love and clarity in the world.
Isabel sel thts how I’ve been I’m about to have 3 months feeling like this that I haven’t had any breakdowns about the idea and that even makes me believe I don’t love him anymore
Isabel sel do you think that once you think about something daily that becomes a reality?
Mary Cerda i try not to rely heavily on what our "instincts" are telling us. Our minds are not equipped to handle that type of information and take it without freaking out right now, if that makes sense. If you think that since you're thinking it every day that it will become a reality, that in itself is a type of intrusive thought. It's easy for someone who does not suffer from these intrusive thoughts to make a thought become a reality. But we're not people who can go by this rule. When people tell us to "trust our instincts" we don't know what to trust. Is it our anxiety talking or is it our instinct? So it's better to remind yourself that this exception doesn't apply to you. What's important is that you have the power to choose what you want your life to be.
Isabel sel do you think I can personally email you and talk about this more?
What do you do when you just feel and believe you don’t love your boyfriend anymore?
I would say to remember that love is an action, and to really look at what exactly you are "feeling".
My best friend explained it to me like this. with ROCD you are constantly thinking, constantly thinking whether you still love your partner or not. Through all this thinking, the brain and you can believe nothing more than that. But! don't let these "beliefs" overwhelm you!
Right now that’s me... I miss how I was with him... 😞 I want to love my partner..