What Are Women Actually Attracted To? - Catherine Salmon
Catherine Salmon is an evolutionary psychology researcher, professor of Psychology at the University of Redlands and an author.
Women can be a mystery, sometimes even to themselves. Modern culture is making many proclamations about what women like and why they should like it, but are these new headlines accurate, or even desirable?
Expect to learn why women love erotic stories so much, whether evolutionary psychology is sexist, why Catherine did a study where people rated the attractiveness of faces which had jizz on them, why feminine men are being pushed in media but don't feature in dark romance novels, the role of commitment in female attraction and much more...
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#women #attraction #evolutionarypsychology
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00:00 Intro
00:21 Why People Enjoy “Facial Deposits”
09:44 What is the Psychology Behind Rough Sex?
15:57 Why So Many Niches of Porn Exist
29:02 Is there an Agenda Towards Feminine Men?
35:55 Women’s Obsession with True Crime
46:52 Is Evolutionary Psychology Sexist?
53:23 How Having Babies Impacts Sex Drive
1:02:33 Where to Find Catherine
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Get in touch in the comments below or head to...
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This episode is very interesting. Enjoy! Here’s the timestamps: 00:00 Intro 00:21 Why People Enjoy “Facial Deposits” 09:44 What is the Psychology Behind Rough Sex? 15:57 Why So Many Niches of Porn Exist 29:02 Is there an Agenda Towards Feminine Men? 35:55 Women’s Obsession with True Crime 46:52 Is Evolutionary Psychology Sexist? 53:23 How Having Babies Impacts Sex Drive 1:02:33 Where to Find Catherine
Hi @Chris Williamson , I actually felt embarrassed for your guest's comments and lack of anthropological/psychological studies and researches... to me, she came across more motivated by the "doing", in lieu of the actual core "understanding". 😔
Stay encouraged Chris you're doing a great job
@@leolee8847 No One Cares!!!
What was that study mentioned by Cathrine on mate preference and living area? thank you
Are we suppose to think the angled chair is unconscious !
Love it. There is no escaping our animalistic nature. We can talk publicly about toxic masculinity, male dominated society, etc, etc, but no "romance" novel features an insecure small man as the man of interest.
I'm off on a grape and pillage. Fancy it? If we get hungry we'll eat whatever we can scalp. Please bring some hand sanitiser and facial cream as it's going to be a long journey
True but how would you explain the enormous succes of movies like Notting Hill?
@@thijsg8549 never heard of it.
Love that movie, and sweet men.
@@thijsg8549 She explains it in the first few minutes.
I believe that one big reason women prefer to read is because it's easier to visualize herself as the woman in the story. When they are watching it's much harder to take out the character you see and replace it with yourself.
Is it like painting between the lines? She can fill the picture in a way she imagines?
@@hephestosthalays2700 Nuland Hillary McCain podesta deeply involved start ukraine crisis strike first blood but use woman that put severed finger in wendy chili 2.0 tactic shameless blame russia, recall podesta on putin files when muller charge manafort for things nothing to do with russia hack but let podesta go for same reason =blackmail dc/Britain(thank Blair Iraq france stolen libya gold) to support blame russia to cover up fact 2 party system failed since mccain-hillary all did united fruit company scandal 2.0 but remain rich recall fbi never look at physical evidence just crowdstrike/hillary words, cia break glass 2017 inauguration with media claim russia stolen election left wing media give protest t-shirts to san quan mayor for lying about never receive maria supplies kzhead.info/sun/pL2mc9iRg3dvnmg/bejne.html george bush 14y ago said add ukraine to nato foreshadow nuland f eu coup 2014 support = 1. kzhead.info/sun/obiKY6hpmF-gZWg/bejne.html 2001 pentagon memo kill occupy iraq to syria kzhead.info/sun/ktGreraArpSMenA/bejne.html current ukraine gov is proxy since obama drew red line just like did in syria earlier arming rebels telling russia not to interfere while zelensky ethnic cleanse donbass region 7y= 2. kzhead.info/sun/p8VylLuKmnaLg3k/bejne.html 3. kzhead.info/sun/fKaegqZvqYmhknA/bejne.html
I think it's also that we don't just see the actions we know the feelings and thoughts of at least one character. I don't think many women choose actual erotic novels as opposed to novels with erotic segments. For myself as a young woman I loved historical romance. The wonderful feminine clothes, castles being besieged, horses being spooked etc. And women being vulnerable women. And rescued by brave men who adored them. I do know why women like crime stories. In the Victorian era sex was suppressed. The cheap trashy novels directed at women were "Penny Horrors" about murders. In the more permisive twentieth century they became "Penny Dreadfuls" where sex became the new murder. It's only in recent times that women saw sex with a man who was not their chosen love, as not being almost as horrific as murder. However in both situations it allows women the excitement of danger, without real danger.
Men don't have this problems. We are all William Wallace when he decapitates English head from the body.
It's because woman have successfully projected the whole visualization aspect of sexuality onto men. In read porn he can be exactly what you like, ie literally unrealistic, because it's your imagination.
As a woman, I’m going to admit that women have and will always be attracted to the conventionally masculine man. The praise for Harry Styles and effeminate men is quite frankly BS and women lying to themselves because they wish it were true as it’d fit the world-view they’re comfortable with instead of reality.
I agree.
I don’t think women are lying to themselves. Harry Styles is undoubtedly still good looking. Often the more masculine a man is, the less conventionally handsome he is - The Rock being a good example of this.
Gay men love guys like Harry, though. A place for all tastes :D
@@Alex-cm7hr v true, but I doubt women want men to wear dresses from now on. It could be that Harry styles wearing a dress showcased an extreme level of confidence and security in his masculinity that appealed to women.. just food for thought
@@tjc4085 yeah I wasn’t really aware of that stuff. He does seem to have some gender-fluid nonsense going on right now. Men wearing dresses definitely isn’t attractive. Dresses were designed for the female form and look wrong on men.
Chris, I'm working my way through your back catalog of what might loosely be described as "Interviews with captivating intelligent women who are more interested in truth than any particular agenda". It's soooo refreshing and educational. Thankyou, it is appreciated.
Same situation and can’t agree more, a super refreshing and reasonable show where the real questions are being asked instead of a bunch of propaganda from red pill and blue pill stuff. Like I just want some real conversations with people who actually understand what they are talking about.
I’m on the same journey as you are ! 😂
A few moments to kill is it?
I’d love to know why you think this woman doesn’t have an agenda?
This lady just radiates joy.
No Doubt
And also a faint odour of semen
The more degenerate, the more women love it, introduce children and animals and she will be OOOOOO and soaking her chair, tells you everything you need to know about what women are. Morals ??? Looking for a yellow Ruby in in the Himalayas is more likely.
Do women even exist in hard sciences, every single one that he brings on always always always SELF REPORTED SURVEY, pain to me might be 3 same level of pain to a woman might be a 7 who is right who is wrong, doesnt matter, the data is basura, basura in basura out ! So the statistical regression analyses is useless, no objective measure means that at best its likely but unsure. They have ruined statistics permanently, its not trust-able, when statistically significant was mentioned 70 years ago, it meant something, today its a maybe at best.
Looks fun to hang around with.
It is my suspicion that for many women the appeal of mock "rough sex" is that feeling that they are rendered powerless and not culpable for what is happening. As such they can engage in their more extreme or bizarre sexual desires while maintaining, at a psychological level, an element of plausible deniability for initiating or endorsing those desires.
That's exactly correct . I make her do the things she's too ashamed to ask for. Sine she has "no choice" it absolves her of responsibility
I love this womans laughter and energy
In contrast with Scowls, Disapproval, Bile, Bitterness, Suspicion, Complaining Misandry and Resentment? Ooh, ooh I forgot Entitlement and Petulance and Immaturity and Lack of Accountability and Spite.
Also that when women read something they imagine it happening it to themselves. I've studied romance for a loooooonnnggg loooongggg time probably 13+ years now... A classic trick that most romance novel writers use is that they make the woman in the novel relatable to the extent of substitution. Meaning - once the reader relates to the woman in the novel, she substitutes herself into that role. This is extremely powerful because then she reads the book as if everything is happening to her, imagining herself in the situation. Also the reason why most women fantasize about having a beast like man fall for them is their (women's) hero's journey. "I was able to tame this beast" type of arc.... BUT they hate it if the beast is not tamed in the end. And that actually is the nature of a true beast... it cannot be tamed.
@@joane24 Absolutely! Great point btw, I never thought of it that way. But that is true...
This is why I find myself single, I've never been tamed. Haha
@@eaudedogue safe to say that you haven't experienced a woman's submission then? Its more powerful than any other drugs that exists. I have been more than 335+ dates... stopped counting after that, and I chose to be with my partner we are together for more than 6 years now... The reason I stated the number is because I wanted you to guess how many of them were actually submissive? Take a guess...
@@Monsieur.Nobody. so you chose your partner because she submitted to you?
@@Amit-ey1uj that is one of the biggest reasons, yes. Not the only reason.
I'm 71 years old and am 5'6" I dated a lot of tall women. Many taller women liked me. There were those that felt I was too short, but there were plenty of good-looking women that dated me. This was so much of a thing during my long bachelorhood that I really felt like a five-foot-tall woman was too much like a child. Most of the time, they were an inch or two taller than me, which is what I really prefer. The funniest episode I experienced was a tall blonde woman, I mean 6'5" who really liked me. Her hair was as long as I was tall. She wrote me a couple of amazingly juicy letters. When we dated, we went to a sushi shop, and then she had me for dessert! But for me, she was just too much territory to deal with! I kinda feel bad about it looking back because she seemed to really have a thing for me.
I'm a 5'6" man, and I approve this message.
That's tall, wow. She would be taller than most men by some degree.
Talking about India's breastfeeding addiction, while looking at the evolutionary psych speaker professionally is very hard. Well done Chris lol
What does she say
Haha. I get it. Very male of you.
MAAM PLEASE TILT YOUR CAMERA UP. I CANNOT HEAR YOU.
@@cosmicmuffet1053 that's on you not her, listen don't look if you must. Don't start saying something like that with "ma'am" , the insincerity is oozing. I'm not saying don't look, that would be dumb, I'm simply SUGGESTING that you keep your sexual arousal confined to your personal space.
@@GetUnlabeled She is putting it out there. She is inviting arousal. How can you deny it?
The first segment was the wildest, most egregious piece of information I’ve ever heard. Yet I sat thru it. I am now ashamed of myself, yet weirdly more informed 😂.
Nou la! 🇭🇹
Moun lakay 🇭🇹
"Our students can be fragile." says a lot.
I think there is something about rough sex for men related to "loosening the reigns" a bit. What women really don't understand is that men always have to hold back their strength and aggression when dealing with them, at all times, every single day of their lives, so relaxing a little on the self control can feel incredible.
Yikes.
Speak for your self..
@@elizabethblackwell6242 you seem to be imagining that I mean that men want to be violent with women and have to repress it. I'm not. You're not getting the point.
@@elizabethblackwell6242 All the single ladies all the single ladies
Well this is going in a very different direction than I was aiming at. I was talking more along the lines of difference in strength. Like when you see a puppy that's so cute you want to squeeze it but restrain yourself because you don't want to harm it.
Really enjoyed the cheerful tone of this conversation. Very interesting episode.
La imaginación, esa es la respuesta a tu pregunta entre la diferencia de ver una película y leer. La fantasía es personal, no es lo que se imaginó un guionista de una película de bajo presupuesto. Muy bueno el video!
One of the best yet. Very interesting. Particularly the part about societal ideals vs personal ideals.
Some great comments below so I'm just going to add yet another great show. Thanks for introducing us to these interesting experts Chris.
Already my favorite episode, Chris - my man, well done!
Cannot wait..Thanks for the upload.
Another excellent Vid Chris, great questions man.
I love this woman. She literally treads where others are too scared to walk!
*dances
Some of it comes from her credentials listed at the top of this post. She's studied and is not uptight about any of it.
@@ga8065so she's as legit as they come.
Chris, watching the two of you skip joyfully and tastefully through the first segment cheered me up so much this evening. Also, your description of the desecration of the sacred porcelain of a woman's face is poetry in my opinion. Men's sexuality is too often misunderstood and we need prose like this to set the record straight.
I too found this allegory fascinating. I think the cumshot can have a lot of emotional qualities, for those involved or watching. Like a powerful reminder of the power exchange and sub/dom position. Depending on the reaction, pose, viewing angle and result, everything from just confirmation of the couple's bonding to a deeply felt sado-masochism type of situation, erotic degradation-style. So it's open to interpretations. I also like the mention of the Coolidge effect, which probably has deep genetic roots into human/male behaviour (as shown through the incessant variety in porn and variety in people's beds as well).
Never heard such a beautiful way to phrase the act of : *Furiously ejaculating a high pressured stream of sticky opaque and bitter fluid on a woman's face*
Wow - I’m so glad she mentioned fan-fiction. It’s so common for women and rarely spoken about. I believe fanfic websites are womens pornhub. Very interesting.
I believe women love fantasy and mystery. Part of why if you ever ask a women what kind of shows/movies they watch, it a lot of mystery type.
Most males look good in comics, most males look bad in porn.
Great episode, one I initially didn't think I would find interesting. But I was certainly mistaken, thanks as always!
Chris. Amazing well done. Do more topics like this. Very refreshing.
Chris covers this very often. Go watch other videos on his channel - he is the king of this set of topics
In this scientific context, I think it noteworthy - I grew and maintained a semi through this entire segment
Lmao 😂😂❤❤ best comment of them all
employ the grandma technique
Ha. Impressive my friend. She's definitely a sexy milf but a semi for an hour... Cheers, mate!
Pictures or it didn’t happen.
Loved it! As always great great content
Chapter one: Why People Enjoy Facial Deposits. (I see Chris is a man of science)
I thought that most women ideally want both the Chad and Dad in the same guy .... but finding such a guy isn't so easy as they're not as abundant.
This is my thought as well. Problem is, those type of guys are rare.
I married one, they are rare. Every woman I know is jealous
What is the definition of being chad and dad at the same time?? Just curious
@@atulkrjha has the genetics, perfect level of masculine bad boy appeal, combined with the solid ability to protect, provide, parentally invest, and have the values and such. It’s like a Tesla car owner asking for gasoline. Most people are looking at that persons demands like “tf?” But every once in a while, against all odds, life gives them gasoline
Hmmm guess I need to build a course on Chad-Dad transformation 😆
She is a very effective researcher/educator.
Great episode! Thank you. 😊
Very interesting conversation! Especially the “deposits” and the “screaming/crowds” portions 😅
I'm an old dude out of the game, my experience is that I got pass the first filtering when I had no expectations when meeting woman I just talked to them. I found my wife when my flatmate was hitting on her friend in a bar she looked bored I though she would like somebody to talk to my flatmate when home empty handed my wife didn't. So I tell my sons, meet people and have fun without expectations, your girl friend will find you when she's ready.
Yup, I just got there aged 51. Wish I'd made it a lot sooner, now I just mingle with people, yes, of course I still find a need arising to be with a certain woman but I allow that desire to pass and then get back to just hanging out. I'm content and happy even when women don't find me of interest, there are plenty more of them!
This was a fun one.
Interesting conversation
I found this conversation super interesting... I am interested in the recent fascination about Harry Styles wearing a dress and make-up - it's not new... Bowie was doing that in the 70's and had women flocking at his feet, and Prince was repeatedly counted as the sexiest man in the planet. Both of them very feminine in their looks.
Robert Greene in his book, The Art of Seduction, states, those who gently cross over the border of feminity / masculinity, they will attract a lot. Timothee Chamalet, a very effeminate looking man is enjoying this success. Marilyn Monroe had a slightly deep voice for a woman. I think it's about, they're more attainable? More relatable? More at ease, I think.
Women weren’t flicking to Bowies feet because he wore a dress though !! I don’t think I need to point out what other attributes he had that attracted women. Styles is basically the same character but he doesn’t seem to realize that doing this in 2022 requires little courage .. What I’m basically saying is you take a poor average looking guy and have him wear a dress and he’d scare most sane women away. 😂😂
Btw Prince was not getting any female attraction or attention in high school when he was a pretty short average guy. As soon as he gained mega stardom then the women found him immensely attractive even though he acted somewhat feminine in ways. I hope you don’t find this shocking in any way lol
@@brianmeen2158 exactly, it’s all about the fame and status. Let those same guys be average men walking around the street and see if women want them
@@brianmeen2158 I used to find Price quite beautiful in a feminine way, but never saw him as sexually attractive. I used to like some of the heavy metal guys though, the more strong looking bulky men with long hair lol
This was so eye opening. Thank you
You don't want to keep your eyes open when it happens.
A significant number of people not being able to understand that men and women are "equal in value" does not mean men and women "are the same" is troubling.
Men and women are not equal in value. Male disposability reflects this. Men are left to die but the women and kids get to leave when wars and crises break out That is not equal. But evolutionarily speaking, it makes sense why it’s like that.
Do you listen to SUZANNE VENKER too?
Good humorous exchange of ideas for a change. Catherine see's the ideas for what they are and not for what they are deemed to be.
Great podcast. Although I was having trouble concentrating on the words.
2mins in, this womans ideas are very much needed. Smart lady
2min man 🤏💨🤭🐩🦄🔫🔫
Brilliant show …. As per usual ! A very high bar is being set !
Very interesting topic. Curious how many other people feel this way but, Tbh, the more attractive I find my partner, the less novel I want the sex to be. I find that the most boring sex is the best with the partner I desire the most because the simple contact alone is more than stimulating enough. And I wouldn’t even want any additional distraction. When the partner is maybe not as inherently stimulating is when I find myself wanting to do the more novel stuff.
Could never give THIS (what you said) context… but you nailed it Much more desirable IMO to “hate-fuck” a one-off/purely transactional partner vs your “lover”, which tends to be more sensual. Complete difference in feeling.
Thanks for sharing. interesting point of view
Interesting point. As a guy I can somewhat relate though I never thought about it like that. On the other hand, it seems to me it's the opposite for women (more adventurous the more into the guy they are). So... In general it's probably a counterproductive tendency and one we should actively avoid.
You’re not wrong as a woman I feel the same. I mean it is thrilling to be with someone you actually desire and when they’re likable and you click? OOF. The body is so ecstatic that it heats up to the sound of their voice. I find that’s the best sex to have. Then the novel stuff feels extra kinky because the desire is so intense.
THANK YOU a for sharing this VOICE!
Great episode! I listened to it in one go.
Same here! And I rarely can with this long a format.
"Women who are submissive are still running the show!" - Catherine Salmon. Absolutely nailed it! That is exactly the case. There is nothing a man won't do for a submissive woman. Aka, the control is still with the women. Most people usually think if the woman is submissive she's being controlled by the man. That is false, a real woman knows her power over a man, and that is what controls a man. Only a submissive and powerful woman can keep the beast tamed for herself... Again, it is the nature of the beast to not be controlled, but for a submissive woman a beast will relinquish that control... To the point that even if he knows he's being controlled he'll do it. Not always though, like every think in the world, it is not absolute. "For a beast is not a beast if he seizes to be the beast." - me Those who understand what I mean will understand what I mean... haha.
Facts
Based
Interesting that modern f*minism is trying to make women the "beast".
Boom
Ceases. And agreed
Chris, great podcast as always. Appreciate your work and hope you continue doing the great job you're currently doing. You and your podcast have truly had a life changing effect on me, thank you. Why do you reckon people are so negative about this podcast and the educated woman you spoke to? What's up with the whole "don't ask women for advice about women"?
As soon as you start talking about evpsych or gender dynamics as a guy, you get lumped into the redpill manosphere. Some of the redpill world allow and encourage their audience to behave like brats. I’m not part of that world, and I don’t want that audience.
@@ChrisWillx I love that stance, chris. I’ve been feeling disgusted at what the redpill movement has become. Some are trying hard to justify treating women as objects instead of equal counterparts and disguising it as the “realistic” way of viewing the world.
Women generally do give quite poor advice when it comes to dating though, I mean don't take my word for it, browse and see for yourself.
@@Vladimyrful I think people in general give pretty bad advice. But I understand what you mean because I’d agree that more women act like they have good dating advice 😂. Perhaps experience and age are better categories to judge on.
@@JosephBacons Oh yeah, fully agreed! Because people usually don't have the best grasp of the problem they're trying to solve. (I'm generalizing but you get what I mean).
Love the thumbnail!
I’m glad I came across this episode.
She let the heavies out for this one... well done.
"Don't try to understand women. They understand each other and they hate each other." - Al Roker
yes
Al Bundy
Al Roker??? The weatherman?? 😂
@@sirdiealot53It was said by Al Bundy. and as for the quote, its true (in part) because women are all about double standards, they want one thing, but want the other thing too.. not just bad boy sexually, but nice guy for family, everything. And the 2nd part of the quote, They DO NOT understand each other, (they will however surround themselves with like minded cliques, to support their own style/thinking ; see echo chambers). Its not that they hate each other, they see all other women as competition. so he was right about trying to understand them, because you need a PHD to see it all, and sort of close to how they treat each other.
Great conversation. A title I saw with CW on the cover some time ago makes much more sense now… Modern Jizzdom :)
The time stamp, 'Why People Enjoy "Facial Deposits" ' is absolutely hilarious! I think I just deposited something in my pants as I laughed soo hard at this. Thank you for that, Chris 😅
Facts
Hahahaha…EPIC!!…
I actually asked an onlyfans girl why she actually did that - and she said that she liked the 'degrading' experience.
And certainly saying so during a session earns her more tips, too; win/win
I was 13 when The Beatles arrived to America. I have three sisters. I was amazed at the zombie-like hypnotic state girls would go into. It really cautioned me about females. They screamed for The Beatles, then The Rolling Stone, The Dave Clark Five, and on and on. I felt that they were capable of betrayal and that they were more interested in the image than the person. I didn't know that I was witnessing the Alpha Male reaction in females.
I've seen them at celebrity parties Same scenario.
The Opening was crazy!
In regards to erotica, most women that still read it (the physical books) are older and likely more traditional in a sense, so of course they want the more traditional looking man. Whereas the erotica that younger generations read is not in books but on apps like Wattpad, Tumblr, Webtoons, etc. When cruising through those apps, you see that the “feminine men” have a huge appeal too, hence why K-pop is so popular among younger women. There are tons of k pop (bts in particular) and harry styles and Loki type fanfiction and erotica. It’s a generational thing, not many ppl read books nowadays too, at least physical ones. Loved the video! 🥰
The fem/K-Pop male look usually appeals to younger adolescent women. Adolescent women who have ambiguity & at times fear of traditional masculine maleness as presented in the media. Most grow out of it & have a preference for more traditional masculine men. If an older woman is deep into fem looking men its likely she has negative feelings/ideas about men especially masculine men. Its usually due to some bad or traumatic experiences.
True. We also have to take a look at the generational shift.
@@rosiegomez5809 What are you on about lol? Most of these feminine men, are quite masculine.
@@riririri100 Actually Rosie has it exactly right. Young, immature women women often prefer feminine men because they're intimidated by masculine men. But most women grow out of that fear. And no, feminine men are not masculine, by definition. I gotta say, it's funny how each new generation thinks that they're the ones who invented sex. Or at least the first ones to be transgressive.
@@rosiegomez5809 If I'm remembering correctly, there was a woman who did a Ted talk on how the birth control pill affected the brain, and one interesting finding was that women on the pill were more attracted to feminine men.
Women don't just scream at Justin Bieber concerts. You can be sitting at a Cheesecake Factory at 6 pm on a Friday and if there is a group of young women at a table, every few minutes they will scream in unison....and if they see a friend enter the restaurant, they will scream at each other. I often use this to dispute the myth that women life in fear....people who live in fear do not behave in ways that attract maximum attention to themselves.
By my mid twenties, I figured out to watch what women actually do vs. listen to what they say. Many things I was taught about women growing up were flat out wrong. The problem is that many women are happy drinking the popular culture Kool-Aid until they hit their early 30s.
It doesn't have to be one or the other. Sometimes degrading IS arousing. It can sometimes be both, for both people.
About "facial deposits." I'm almost positive I know why this is so commonly liked by men. It is perceived by society as being degrading, however if someone you're with likes you enough to not only let you do it but also act like they enjoy it it makes you feel more valuable. "Wow, this person likes me so much they're willing to let me do this thing that society considers perverse." However in reality it is a common act that shows love and devotion and has been mislabeled. The funny thing is that it being mislabeled is what gives it its significance. I wonder if YT will let me post this. lol
I’ve never understood exactly what is supposed to be so degrading or demeaning about it. To me it’s more like a man marking his territory, and while I can’t speak for all women, I think many of us find a primal excitement in that concept.
I think you're actually pretty correct there; well done.
@@central_scrutinizrits that very 'marking of territory' that is antithetical to the modern feminist ideal, and therefore seen as taboo, i think. And who doesnt love a bit of taboo? Haha
@@central_scrutinizr and if its several men marking that territory? 😜
Would you wish to do that to your wife? It's disrespectful, an act that should be reserved for concubines or the porn films.
One theory I read many years ago which I found plausible and interesting regarding fetlsh as a biological mating diversification strategy. Two people that share matching fetlsh will be so strong of a match to overcome traditional mate selection cue, and enrich the genetic variety or humanity
And the article also mentioned fetlsh is not hereditary nor socially taught not rather seems random person to person
People will come up with very novel and convincing ways to explain tawdry, sad actions. To themselves as well as others.
Women want a perfect blend of both
'softer, gently, kinder view of guys...' not only in novels that idea didn't work. my entire generation was demasculated by feminist influences and it made no one happy. the men or the women.
Was emasculated? Men are still being emasculated. Testosterone levels are at record lows. “Toxic masculinity” has young boys being prevented from engaging in rough and tumble play. Men and women need one another. Men need to be men and women need to be women. We don’t need to water one or the other down to suit a cultural agenda.
The conversation around Harry Styles and feminine men is interesting. I'm typically attracted to very masculine men (military/mma types) but I don't actually see him as being super feminine, despite the dress ... not the way our culture would traditionally say a gay man is feminine. I feel his appeal is his uniqueness and the balls to go for it and pull it off. The same way it was popular back in the 90s for the alternative crowd to get multiple earrings or paint their nails - but they were different, the bad boys and we still wanted them lol. This isn't new, you've got Johhny Depp, Prince, Mick Jagger and the like who were not only doing traditionally feminine things like wearing make up, but were known for their prowess with women.
In some ways it's an ultimate sign of masculine confidence to dare to play at being feminine. Thing is, you have to have certain prerequisites to pull it off- status, looks etc.
@@fiveleavesleft6521 that sounds like a cope.
@@johnathanmandrake7240 Cope at what? Women are attracted to Harry Styles, fact. It's a cope to pretend they're not.
Slight femininity is attractive on a masculine man. I’m both and it’s hard to describe but when I’m ‘on’ I’m able to attract virtually every woman.
Men are most attracted to a beautiful feminine woman who thinks like a man. Cher or J Lo being a good example. Women are most attracted to a handsome masculine man who thinks like a woman. Mickey Rourke or Depp being a great example.
“Not every woman cares about money” -Every Woman
😂😂😂
I mean that's correct. A 18-20 year old woman will date a broke guy who's tall , has a prominent, sharp square jaw, prominent cheekbones, hunter eyes over a recessed chin rich guy. That' s when we talk about actual physical attraction, not betabuxxing
They don't, especially past the point of some comfort. Yeah, few women are gonna be hyped on a guy making $20k/yr with no prospects but once you've hit semi-comfortable-life income, it's not that big a deal for most.
They want proof of your potential - money can go, good genes and memes, not so much..
You can be broke when a woman is in her 304 phase When she’s washed up she’s gonna turn into the typical most exceptional special woman in the world and deserve a high value man As a man it’s your job to read where that woman stands and not invest time in a relationship when you can level up and get better quality down the line. Women decrease value in the sexual marketplace with high tier men over time Men increase their value over time. Once a man hits his peak the options are endless Women will always have endless options because men will always seek that pump and dump
If women are saying that men are less masculine I would counter that women are also less feminine.
thats poor of you, be more of a man, no excuses rise above buddy
I read that serum testasterone ia higher in US women and their voice is slightly deeper. In stressful environments females are highly adaptive and become more masculine. The female body is capable of shutting down mentruation entirely and putting on muscle. So if females live in a culture that puts more stress on them they do in fact become masculine. I would like to see stats on irregular menstruation but I surmise it is likely these rates are higher in the US as well.
BTW I have tried posting male test and sperm count data which has declined precipitously over the last 40 years but the comments are censored. Perhaps this will be posted.
Delightful interview and I’m totally going to check out those romance covers. :)
Love people with such positive energy!
charming and interesting lady!
I seem to have snatched myself a partner that is both masculine and sensitive at the same time. He's Austrian, I'm German, we got to know each other via online gaming. I moved to live with him, three years ago, after having been in a LDR for five plus years. Engaged now and going to be married in summer next year. He is masculine in the traditional sense of being very sporty, well-built, working out a lot, being a hunter and collector of guns (which is very uncommon here, compared to the U.S) and goes shooting a lot. He is also a very good cook and takes care of our home more than me, because I work full time and he is working part-time. He is as much into cuddling as I am. So. Jackpot? (also considered very handsome by many people) Here is the thing, though: he is 3 years younger than me. I had my reservations at first, because I was 25 and he was 22 when we met, but he was taking evening courses to get is college degree and also doing an apprenticeship as a laboratory assistant, so that seemed pretty responsible and mature to me. He also doesn't drink. Only a very occasional beer, like once every two to three months. Oh, and he is 5,8'. I am 5,2' myself, though. It seems to me like the mating crisis is way more prevalent in the U.S. in Europe, or at least Germany and Austria don't seem to be this affected (yet). I feel like the demands from potential partners and beauty standards are much more severe than here. I have no data to back this up, but from what I see and know, it seems to be true.
European maternity/paternity policies in the workforce suggest a more pro-family stance, relative to the US as well. Perhaps this translates to pro-dating, pro-marriage as well?
The one thing missing in this discussion is recognition that what we fantasise about is not actually what we want. Sexual fantasy is not exclusively related to we want in RL. Not because of social proprietary only but also about the fantasy having a symbolic and mediatory function.
Interesting discussion. It's very apparent to anyone who actually studies evolutionary psychology and understand male to female social dynamics, that men and women are very different in what they find attractive (a lot of times are asymmetrical, eg. men like looks in a women, women like personality/status in a guy). This knowledge needs to be more mainstream, instead of feminism taking over and brainwashing people into thinking men and women are equal/same, because in reality they are not.
Somewhere in a universe far far away, it be like that. Sadly it is not in this one
Women like looks in a guy too, why nobody can admit it?
@@cyberpunkenjoyer3032 that much is abundantly clear with the height requirement alone
@@lordofgingers yeah lmaooooo bro the only difference I can see between men and women is women care sbout every single standard to a higher degree than men do. Women even care about looks more than men but they also care about money, personality etc more than men. It's not that women care less about looks, quite the contrary it's just that they value multiple things. It's maybe when they're very old and unattractive where they may begin to loosen looks standards and focus on the other categories a bit more.
I’m sorry but the mainstream discussion has slid so far that it’s pretty much impossible to talk about male/female dynamics in an open and honest manner .. I just roll my eyes at pretty much all mainstream discussion on this subject
That's one hell of a way to begin a conversation lol
I'm south Indian, but grew up outside of India for the most part. So my take on it may not be fully informed, but I am familiar enough that I feel comfortable speculating. India has a very socially conservative culture. Granted it's modernizing rapidly, but there are still large swaths of society where taboos still exist on women dressing in a scandalous/revealing manner, often reinforced by society and close family/relatives. So perhaps the most likeliest scenario/ "natural" manner in which someone might come across a woman's body being revealed may be in the context of breastfeeding? I wonder if that's why it's such a popular category, because it has proximity to something that could possibly happen in reality, at least more than the other extravagant imagined scenarios that porn seems to typically put forward.
Breastfeeding is actually quite popular in India and has been shown in movies and tv shows and is a relatively common occurrence in buses and trains. This doesn’t happen in other countries as much. I remember having being ‘sprayed’ with milk directly from her breast when I was curious about a bai breastfeeding her kid (as a funny thing of course) lol.
It could be that there is a higher rate of breastfeeding in india so the imprint takes place and thus adult male attraction. In the US many are not breastfeed and after a few weeks of maternity leave babies are sent to a corporate / govt facility for child care. Over all, male attachment to mother and female is broken at critical developmental phases so in adult life there is less attraction to breast and female in general so relationships are more transactional as males are unable to bond with females in the same way if they were mothered when young.
Nice view.
Thears a different in what a person wants, desire. And what we're Told to want
I feel like this is explained to be way more complicated than need be
But then there would be no conversation, and so then what?
It always starts out that way. Then, it eventually takes shape and before you know it we'll have concrete textbooks that concisely summarize it all. Just takes time to get there.
I would caution against drawing conclusions towards what women want from romance novels. While it’s true that about 80% of romance readers are women, romance is only a relatively small fraction of fiction, which again is just a fraction of books overall. Then one has to take into account that about 40% of the population don’t read at all.
And believing fiction will guide you to your love life is a bit immature. Some people may have a hard time separating the two (like "Don Jon" of the movie of the same name), but not the majority. Methink.
51:54 Its Chuck Rhoades from "Billions" not "Suits"
Tom Brady. 6'-4" tall, multi-multi millionaire, 7-time (quarterback) superbowl champ 😂, in good shape, good looking dude, speaks 5 languages, great family guy. Wife dumps him. 🤣🤣 They are insatiable, its evolution. You cannot win, just roll with it!
So he's perfect and she just dumped him without any valid reason. This is how you're presenting the situation. And it's unrealistic.
That’s why marriage is a waste of time. Women are full grown children you can never please.
@@Zebielie Fathers have authority over their children. Men today do not have authority over their wives. You miss this fact. Children do not have freedom to do what they want because parents are responsible. Women are given freedom with lack of responsibility and men are responsible and on the hook. So it’s no longer the same.
@@thehylander266 How do you think it got here?
@@MC-ze8wj Weak men.
Love your facial expression and the brief moment to collect yourself after you say, "Are you dating someone that's six inches shorter than you?" - I feel like I can see your inner Chris going, "really man, six inches? ... for fucks sake.. alright, we said it, we're committed now, push on" - probably all in my head, but it made me chuckle. :)
On the "agenda towards feminine men", I think the force behind this has to do with the proliferation of pop culture into older demographics, people taking with them the spirit of youth of the cultural environment they grew up in, leading to both the phenomenons of later spiritual development in men and women's preference for more androgynous feminine men as typical of younger girls. It's less so an "agenda" but a significant shift in the underlying sociological basis of society to remain as primarily consumers for longer before becoming a significant producer or provider, which is a strong critical feature of adulthood.
I am very curious to see her family album !
As a huge romance reader, I want to know, what book covers you’ve been on Chris 🤔
In my experience with women that I've spoken to after the fact, their like for rough sex is not about the "wow he wants me so bad", it's more about her being able to surrender and let go entirely, almost like letting go of the self or complete escapism for a while
Ring a ding ding!
I've had some who were into bdsm (submissive side) tell me that it absolves them of responsibility and hence also of guilty feelings about sex...
Its both. And it takes TRUST to be able to let go like that, too.
As a woman my first 15ish years of sex was unsatisfying. I enjoyed it but I rarely got "there." I was hung up on "his" pleasure and of if he would "put a label" on me in his head. Then in my early 30s I met my now husband and my not being able have orgasms really bothered HIM! He felt he wasn't "good enough" to please me...and he was "man" enough to tell me so. I assured him it was not him but it didn't help. After a few more weeks he had enough. He told me my sexual pleasure was not supposed to be about him, that it supposed to be about myself. And that my being able to "let go" and enjoy myself would in turn increase the pleasure he got from being with me. Which in turn would increase my pleasure even more etc etc. He was so right! We've been together 21 years now, married 15...and we're still enjoying it together!
@@1twistedcpl6575 That's great to hear - at the end of the day sexual compatibility is not just about 'selfless vs. selfish', it's usually more about how each person 'gets off' that then can come off as selfless/selfish In terms of your husband, he sounds similar to me in that he probably gets off on watching the girls pleasure more than anything else, so it's a core feature of how he then acts
Please bring her back in the show! She's hilarious & very knowledgeable. I LOVED this episode! ♥♥♥♥
I agree. This was such a vivacious interview. She’s enchanting.
A lot of random ideas without much science behind them. But the part about the gladiator frogs was quite interesting.
We modern people are so far detached from our primal instincts that some of these things are alien to us..... Just think how profound this is. How great we've changed as a species in such little time.... Scary stuff..
Very interesting episode. How would she explain the succes of movies like Notting Hill though? Plenty of effeminate men in succesful romcoms
This type of discourse is great. I only hope everyone who watches also realises that for all the women that every discussion point does apply to, there will be tens-of-thousands to billions of women who it does not apply to, and if you assume that a generalization of evolutionary/sexual psychology applies to all women (or men), through your resulting approaches and assumptions in life and love, you might accidentally close yourself off to the women of the world that these generalizations don't apply to. The most general feature of evolutionary/sexual psychology is that it produces variation (in what women and men are attracted to). The best thing you can do is learn how to read people well, learn what they like, and adapt to what their unique psychology is. Some women don't like to be degraded, and genuinely do like nice and gentle men, just like there are men out there who prefer to be submissive. If you meet a woman like that who you like and want to be with, just be willing to potentially accept that she is built that way for real, and not be stuck in assuming that she wants something else or doesnt yet know her own psychology (which is also possible), like many vids and podcasts might unintentionally lead their viewers astray in believing, putting them in a worse off place where they can only ever attract the type of women that gets caricaturized in some of these discussions (extraverted, high-feeling, hypersexual, testy, etc.)
It’s the Devouring Mother concept alluded to during the Babies segment
Raw and inside is my motto.
I love her. I love how she's giving us a little peek throughout the interview.
into her bustier you mean?
lol i think it looks terrible, especially at that age.
@@TJ-vl1ff agreed
@@TJ-vl1ff What age? She's still young and attractive, and her "assets" are in fine shape. But it's highly inappropriate. It detracts from her argument.
@@TJ-vl1ff Nah dude, I enjoyed it lol (cougar baby)
A charismatic dedicated dad with chad-like abilities
Nope, a charismatic Chad with dedicated dad-like abilities. In romance novels, the guy starts off as total non-dad material like Christian Grey and usually does not want or feel like he can become a husband/dad. Only after he falls in love with the girl does he become perfect husband/dad material.
Is this a reupload. Somehow feels like I've seen this one before
I flippen knew I'd seen your pretty face somewhere Chris 😄🙌🏼
This girl knows what she’s doing wearing that low cut shirt. And it’s working
Women want Chad, there is no doubt about it. If he's rich Chad, then even better.
Screaming at concerts exclusively for male performers lines up well with female copulatory vocalizations especially when in large groups
Interesting. Never thought of that before.