The Modern Dating Catastrophe, Sex Recession & Population Collapse - Louise Perry
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Louise Perry is a British journalist, author and podcast host. She is the author of the best-selling book ‘The Case Against the Sexual Revolution’ and the host of the podcast ‘Maiden Mother Matriarch’. Perry co-runs the charity ‘We Can't Consent To This’ which campaigns around problems with the rough sex murder defence. She is also the co-founder and research director of ‘The Other Half’, a non-partisan feminist think tank which was founded in 2022.
Louise’s book: www.amazon.com/dp/1509549994/
Maiden Mother Matriarch: linktr.ee/maidenmothermatriarch
#relationship #family #politics
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Stand-up comedians Konstantin Kisin (@konstantinkisin) and Francis Foster (@francisjfoster) make sense of politics, economics, free speech, AI, drug policy and WW3 with the help of presidential advisors, renowned economists, award-winning journalists, controversial writers, leading scientists and notorious comedians.
00:00 Introduction
01:02 Relationships Between the Sexes?
03:37 The Signal of Luxury Beliefs
06:34 Why Society Shames Single Mothers
12:22 Society’s View of Unfaithful Men
15:54 Is Monogamy Best for Women?
18:23 Why Are People Having Less Sex?
19:46 Sponsor Message: Cozy Earth
20:55 The Issues Coming From Medication
25:54 Why Natalism is So Controversial
33:48 Is the UK Past the Point of No Return?
42:03 Sponsor Message: GiveSendGo
43:15 Causes of Declining Birth Rates
47:15 Is it Harder to Be a Parent Today?
50:34 The Increase of Surrogacy
57:01 Is the Nuclear Family Still Working?
1:00:29 Why Louise Still Wants Kids
1:02:42 What’s the One Thing We’re Not Talking About?
WATCH *Louise* answer audience questions on our Locals: triggernometry.locals.com/ CHAPTERS👇 00:00 Introduction 01:02 Relationships Between the Sexes? 03:37 The Signal of Luxury Beliefs 06:34 Why Society Shames Single Mothers 12:22 Society’s View of Unfaithful Men 15:54 Is Monogamy Best for Women? 18:23 Why Are People Having Less Sex? 19:46 Sponsor Message: Cozy Earth 20:55 The Issues Coming From Medication 25:54 Why Natalism is So Controversial 33:48 Is the UK Past the Point of No Return? 42:03 Sponsor Message: GiveSendGo 43:15 Causes of Declining Birth Rates 47:15 Is it Harder to Be a Parent Today? 50:34 The Increase of Surrogacy 57:01 Is the Nuclear Family Still Working? 1:00:29 Why Louise Still Wants Kids 1:02:42 What’s the One Thing We’re Not Talking About?
Why? I can get these stupid talking points fusing religion and politics anywhere, they're common as dirt. If I want excuses for hating women I can get them anywhere, I don't need to go to some slimy Brit to get grifted I can support scam artists right here in the good 'ol U S of A 😂😂😂
Too much freedom invites chaos and anarchy. We DO need more ORDER ! ! !
Its hard not to get a bit mad 😅 I'm 28, married at 16.. i could have told you everything this woman said.. without research. Its evident. Its all obvious, just observe facts, look at history. Where's everyones common sense? Where's my podcast 😅😅
@@Yggdrasil1844 No, you're just a Christian who wants to give everyone who isn't like you a hard time. And you'll believe anything that reinforces your biases. You're bait for any scam artist willing to do that.
*"Nationalism" is a euphemism for racial supremacy, always.* Whatever its original meaning was, the word is now used to disguise racial supremacy as a low-priority issue by politicians and the Press alike.
Grandparents make it way easier to have kids.
Supportive ones who think children are a blessing and want to help not just watch
I agree. My Mother was a single Mom (Dad left town when I was born). I was lucky, and my Mom was lucky to have supportive Parents/Grandparents. We moved just a block away. She was able to work and not have to pay for childcare as my Grandmother worked in the home. And I had the stability of my wonderful Grandparents. My husband and I are expecting our first child, and I made the decision to step away from my career knowing that I don't make enough to justify the cost of childcare. I'd pretty much be working just to pay someone else to care for my child. My Mother moved an hour away, still works, and my in-laws live an hour away. While my Mother in law does not work, she is not mentally or physically well and lost her license years ago. Though I am thankful I have my husband, it is honestly scary to not really have a strong outside support system. And my situation really isn't so bad compared to many Women, considering I even have the option to step away from my career.
@@izabellavanryn3531 It really is sad to see the way those familial extended networks have largely gone away. At least that’s what I’m seeing in America. I don’t know where you are but I hear all western countries are experiencing it.
The problem is that people who have kids later also mean that grandparents are on average older and less able to help
It's so true, and I never thought I would see the family shattered by society to this extent in my lifetime. It is sad. I also didn't expect the technological advancements to happen at the rate they have, either. Growing up, I couldn't imagine a future where I'd be carrying around my own little computer at all times!
Louise Perry redpilled me. This woman spoke to my soul when she broke down how the sexual revolution harmed women. It was like all my life I felt like there was something wrong with me that I didn’t love having a successful career and I wanted badly to give it up to have kids. I was ashamed to admit that marriage mattered to me because every guy I dated seemed to think it didn’t matter and it was “just a piece of paper.” Ugggh. I wasted my youth on liberalism.
They weren’t wrong. It is just a piece of paper, if you treat marriage like it’s just a piece of paper.
I mean this with respect. You, and many others your age, men and women, were warned. By many people, multiple times, in different ways that modernism isn't always whats best. You didn't listen, until now. Now that your mind is free, you can determine your life without following societal fads. Humans should create wholesome, simple lives of hard work and family and love. Its what we all want, and its the reason why people shame bad behavior, because it doesn't lead to good. Thanks for sharing, good luck, and God bless. Its not too late.
I was in the same boat. I was steeped in it all my life so I don’t buy the argument that we had a choice. I was raised in a very liberal environment. It wasn’t until I had my first kid that the veil was lifted and I saw clearly all the lies.
If only more women did what they truly wanted instead of listening to feminism women would be happier , I think the guys said it was just a piece of paper because they thought it was what you wanted to hear , a lack of sex would have changed their minds quickly
@@NA1c158 - On the most part, with all due respect, why would I disagree with anything you wrote. Yet, the part about shaming "bad behavior" carries that rather subjective part to it, which I won't agree with. Perhaps I am guilty of assuming too much here. If you are implying that having children should be THE way for everyone, lest the single or married person who never wanted children and doesn't proceed forth with that goal is to be shamed, then my strong disagreement is a pushback on the spirit of your comment. And if you are a Believer, then as one myself, we will remember that Apostle Paul desired for many in the Church to be single, marriage has enough worries/troubles of its own, and it is good to be free to serve the world. ( Maybe you aren't a Christian/Catholic, so my point might not be as relevant to your ears, so think of it in terms of other noble and free options for the variety of individuals on this earth. ) Or how about this: Some people shouldn't have had kids, but did it because "everyone knew it was what you had to do". Please understand, my heart is joyful over loving families, let alone marriages, let alone loving relationships in general. Let us be very, very careful AND consistent in how we treat so-called "bad behavior", for it is simpler and tempting for, say, a married person with kids to look down their nose at a single person without. The former is doing their part to have children, but their character is infected with pride. In the spiritual sense, such sin is bad. Should then the parent be shamed, too?
The elephant in the room not being discussed, is the current divorce legal system that punishes men. The marriage rate in the U.S. and Britain has fallen massively. Add to that the increased divorce rates, where the wife gets the mine and the husband gets the shaft, young men have recognized marriage as a high risk endeavor. Even cohabitation relationships are risky. To attract an increase in fertility, maybe adjust family law.
Exactly!
Men want to be in a stable marriage and have a family just as much as they always have. What they don't want is to get married, have a kid, get a divorce, pay alimony, get pushed out of their children's lives etc. Currently the latter is more likely to happen than the former.
Wish is so nuts since women are being erased everywhere else. Title IX
Men don’t want it and this is why it’s all gone to hell. Men want to lust and watch porn but also pretend to be family men. Doesn’t work. We will die out and probably for good
Exactly, but this elephant in the room is never talked about.
Yes, the women should have skipped the marriage and the dad, and chosen sperm from a sperm bank. Less trauma. Less drama
@@AlmaVasquezjrdarling, a fatherless-children society is a major problem. Many of the boys of single mothers grow restless and violent and the girls end up with daddy issues.
When i was a teenager i was taught that STDs are everywhere and don't have kids till you're ready. Ready means having a secure income, a place to call home, and a partner. Ive managed to secure this now and I'm 45, way way past the point where we want people to be having kids let alone can in most cases. We should structure the government incentives so that people can afford a house, a good job and promote marriage. The focus on GDP at any expense has gotten us here.
I wish you had been taught that being ready is a case of maturity, not financial security. Sure, having kids very young is maybe harder, and if you have the opportunity to grow at a job and get a raise or two first, great. But no one is ever ready for the 24/7 of kids, for the sacrifice, despite any kind of income! Not every wonderful parent owns a "good" house, drives a nice car, or has a "good" job. I had my last baby at 41 as my marriage was falling apart due to my husband's alcohol problem and abuse. Would I go back and NOT have my kids??? There is no greater joy in my life. You are certainly not too old to have a family. If you are a woman, then yes, you are probably not gonna give birth. But certainly there are potential partners for someone looking in the right places. And if you are a guy . . the world is your oyster. There are plenty of women who are looking for a loving, mature guy with good values, not a player. I agree with you that our society should focus on the family, maybe with some incentives, but the "nanny" state is not the answer!! Let's face it -- if good government was the reason people successfully marry and procreate, none of us would be here. LOL
@@lisalapoint7022 I now think that people don't feel ready for kids, but generally will succeed at it anyway.
As a man at 45 you are not past any point. You can have kids. Have them. Women age like milk, men age like wine. This is literally the only advantage, we men, have and ever had. All other advantages are for women by nature. No bitterness here. Just stating simple facts.
@@fffff2521 that's true but I'm married and my wife is my age, too.
@@lisalapoint7022wishes are for ✨
We’ve denigrated the mother role for so long, especially the stay at home mother, I’m not surprised young women aren’t thrilled by it.
It's oppression from evil white males though!!! Motherhood is the WORST!!! Literally the natalist MAGA's forcing their religion upon everyone is the only reason we have the little icks running around in the first place. Working a cubical for 20/hr just to barely exist for the next 50 years and all the ate term abortions you can take is where life satisfaction really comes from.... aren't you a strong and independent wahmenz?? LOL
Yeah, true. And it's also such a surprise how hard it turns out taking care of an infant is. I was like, wow! Everyone did it and I struggle! And no one praised those everyone who did 😂
WHAAAT? Denigrated , it is standard and respected as far as I can see. Also good way for a woman to have her cake and eat it too but that is not denigration.
Maybe women should just think for themselves instead of blaming all their choices on society.
Only women have denigrated it.
If you are going to talk about deadbeat Dad's, you need to talk about the mothers that weaponize the father's time with the children. Also how courts refuse to give equal time to father's.
Unless they're rich like my dad with ability to pay virtually unlimited dollars in attorneys fees as my dad did with every one of his failed marriages. Lost his ass in his first marriage, gained top 1% income which only grew and grew annually because of my shrewd well-connected mom and I learned from him that men CAN get everything they want in court with the right money and attorneys who will do anything to win--not limited to being disbarred in order to win.
@@funDAYsmilingNot everyman has tons of money like your dad. If you are a normal guy or above average guy you will be fucked in the divorce court.
Louise says we don't shame" dead beat dads." If calling them " dead beat dads " isn't shaming then what is?
Louise is still a female, with a female brain.
She said 'less than' and NOT 'don't.'
True
Shame isn’t generally a great motivator for sticking around.
I think the more important point is "who is we"? Men don't shame single Moms. At worst, they don't date them, which is not the same thing at all. Men don't date dead beat Dads, to the point that some of the biggest losers have 5-6 kids with as many baby mommas. All the social pressure comes from women. They have shot themselves in their collective feet, while shaming men in their entirety, and are now asking men to compromise, with no solutions of their own.
Rarely pointed out that the insane cost of housing is a huge suppression on having children.
False. Look around and see how many poor people have kids all over the place. Some even know them.
Right on. Not having a home means not having a place for a family. What is so hard for people to see this?
@@docsavage8640 no. You are false. Poor people (a significant amount in the world) benefit from lot of kids, they use them for labour and money, resource, and security.. And of course future soldiers.. So they get something from that, believe me.
@@docsavage8640 As the other person said it's a difference between being destitute and rural and being poor. Children are a resource when you live in a rural setting and when basic food costs are low. They are "free" labor. In the cities they are expensive pets. In a rural setting they come out with you to the farm they help you do everything and they learn from you. In the modern world I cannot bring my children to my work. They wouldn't be able to learn or understand what I do because it requires complex mathematics and language. The problem is a lot of work is to complicated for most children to grasp. We have specialized so much in a lot of jobs we have become disconnected to our roots. People that live in extremely poor countries really still do all the basic jobs. In most western countries none of these jobs exist, and the ones left say like farming that used to require tons of labor is now handle by complex machines. Where as in those poor countries they still send human labor because it's WAY cheaper there to use a human and child labor force.
@@docsavage8640 And they're doing those kids no favors by bringing them into poverty and uncertainty. I grew up like that and it didn't give me "character", it held me back and made me angry and ruthless.
A big part of lack of babies is that cities are poor habitat for humans, kind of like zoos for other animals.
Before modern sanitization big cities were population sinks due to diseases. Today they are also population sinks but for other reasons. Example Seoul.
@@mattiasdahlstrom2024I think it depends on the nation more so than the city. Lagos, Karachi, Cairo and Kinshasa all have booming populations.
Western cities are healthier places to live than the industrialized countryside.
@@stacyliddell5038 Yes, they have booming populations of poor, uneducated people who then sire the next generation of poor people. The middle class in India typically don't have 5 children.
As someone living on the countryside - I wholeheartedly agree. I get claustrophobic just visiting the city - and even more so when brining my children along. City life is a very limiting way of living when you have children. Adults might enjoy all the cafes and restaurants and entertainment. But children need nature, and more freedom than cities can provide.
We don’t shame deadbeat dads? What planet are these people on?
*Dead beat dads are just shaming language for men who did not want to be Fathers to begin with.* But men are not falling for shamming language anymore. If women get to shun the female role, then men get to shun the male role.
I'd like to point out the Break dancing grandpa as an example of someone shamed for being "deadbeat"' until he pulled out receipts showing otherwise.
He's already paying child support to a woman who broke up with him, he's going to be grumpy.
@@fac3th3wolf Yeah and the f'inist Judge sent him to jail after he VOLUNTARILY gave his wife 90 plus percent of the marital assets because he wanted her and the kids to be comfortable. The EVIL Judge put him in a Supermax jail with REALLY bad dudes as well! The saying nice guys finish last comes to mind but he bounced back amazingly well though.
Thank you, I was thinking the exact same thing, men who owe child support and can't pay often go to prison. Men who become stepdads can end up on child support for kids that aren't even theirs. Often times men who have walked away have been pushed away by the mother, as she uses the children as leverage in any dispute.
My mother-in-law said to my husband one day, "Our family name is dying because you have 3 daughters and no boys." A very old way of thinking about reproduction, in my opinion. Yet, she had 3 children herself. Both of her daughters are childless. I gave my husband 3 children in four years in my late 30's, it wasn't safe for me to try for a boy in my early 40s! I agree that pregnancy is bittersweet. What I've noticed is that the Boomer generation gets on board with pushing kids when it's too late. You raised your daughters to be feminist. Then expect them to have a family of 5 in their 30's. 😮🤯 It's all backward.
Even if it had been perfectly safe for you, if you do not want any more children, why try having one? For the name? Nobody forces any of your daughters to change their name once they marry? I am a woman who did change her name upon marriage (I am in my late 30ies, my maiden name is very common in my country), and I get asked a lot (usually by women in their 50ies to 70ies), usually in a reproachful tone, why I changed my name when I didn't have to.
@@Leo-mr1qz But your mother-in-law wasn't complaining about your name change, she was complaining of your daughter's name change, should they marry in the future. However, your daughters might not even chose to change their name, even if they do marry. Or, had you had a son, that son might change his name, so for this generation, your mother-in-laws comments make no sense.
@andreaweber8059 The common practice in America is to carry the patriarchal name. Sure, women don't have to change their name, but it doesn't mean anything if my daughters keep their last name. Their children will most likely posses the father's name since he is the patriarch of the family. It could be split, but that's more hassle than need be. I'm not trying to raise narrasstic personality disordered adults. My point of my o.p, was the fact that (some parents) of older generations push expectations on their own adult children later in life when they didn't do a well enough of a job in the first place raising their own children to have instilled said values. The last name is basically a mute point. My "lovely" mother-in-law was a horrid mother! She has absolutely NO right to request a school picture of her grandchildren. Let only the audacity to tell me to try for boy!
My mistake, maybe I read too much NYT it maybe it is regional. I was under the impression that taking the husband's name had fallen out of fashion and split names were the norm now. Obviously, you know better, living in the states. Is it legally possible (though unusual) to have the husband take the wife's name? You say with split names, children would usually take the father's name. I would never have guessed that myself! This is because here, in case of unmarried couples, the default is the mother's name and the idea of a family patriarch sounds completely strange ( as in: I would have expected that in the godfather movies but not in real life) to me. Differences are so interesting!
I didn't read clearly enough - she actually told you to try fir a boy? I don't even....
The environmental anxiety, sexual orientation confusion, being told you can wait to start a family, lack of financial support all lead to lower natural birth rate
Interesting. 5 is a good amount. In todays climate, does 5 still seem feasible? The environment, economy, social constructs. Or shud humans not worry, have babies a deal with things as they come?
High taxes, High real inflation rate, High cost of living. If people can afford to have a house, have a car, go on vacation, and - potentially do that on 1 income, having a family is a trivial next step.
We wouldn’t be here at all without generations of ancestors who dared to give birth and raise children through far worse.
It’s isn’t the financial issues nor the economics in themselves, rather it’s them juxtaposed with certain expectations compounded with cultural narratives and lifestyles (especially the nature and form of work; I.e. employment instead of subsistence). These are some of the aspects of modern life in affluent countries that are driving the birth rates down. Despite all of these factors, birth control and abortions also have significant impacts.
All whilst global organisations preach depopulation, perhaps this isn't coincidental.
I'm so happy that I found my husband 2 years after high school. He was a ladies man, but I was a late bloomer and so we didn't have sex for two years, at which point we were so in love and committed to each other. I'm glad I waited until I was ready, and am still with my first love 12 years later and have only been with one man. My friends who are dating around and having casual sex into their 30's seem broken and jaded. I can't imagine having to date now with the expectation for women that we let literal strangers inside our bodies by the third date. No way, I think I'd have to just die alone if anything happened to my husband.
I stopped letting men sleep with me after 3 dates and the result is total single dom with men sulking and moving on when we haven’t kissed by date 3. Insanity. It’s impossible to move slow with online dating. I’ve pretty much given up.
@@xiaomoogle If you aren't offering free sex when looking to date a man then you're nothing to them. They feel annoyed and nauseous at your existence. Men now want lots of free sex, but don't you dare ask them for money or to pay for things or show their material worth. Nope. Fee sex, shut your mouth, who you are doesn't matter, whore, aannnnd then you're ghosted. That's the process. No woman in her right mind would procreate with men today.
@@xiaomoogle quit dating app
@@xiaomoogle this is like going to a zoo and being surprised they don't have any friendly dogs you can take home. dating apps are not where you meet your life partner in the majority of cases.
That's close to my own story. I had a casual relationship with a guy in high school and was so disappointed by the whole situation that I stayed away from men and sex for 5 years. I guess I learn fast. My husband and I were set up by our moms which is surreal to some people, as it happened in the 2010s. We did have premarital sex after a month of talking regularly. The engagement happened soon after and led to marriage months after that at age 22. This entire scenario took less than 1 year. Our 9 year anniversary is coming up soon, and we have two toddlers so far. All the ups and downs have been worth it.
I'm a 59 year old straight woman who has never desired or wanted kids. It has nothing to do with my career, my comfort or their expense. My reasons include: I'm temperamentally unsuitable to the tasks of wife and mother (I'm a loner, creative and a traveller); my bloodline has several physical and mental illnesses that I don't want to pass on and can't care for; given the state of our current western cultural decline, I can't responsibly bring a child into it.
That's fair.
It is of course fair, but who will look after you and who will pay for that? When I hear most people say they've paid into the system I struggle because we have a level of national debt approaching the same level we reached after ww2 so it doesn't make any sense.
@@bertRaven1 having children to have someone to take care of you in your old age is a terrible reason to have kids. How selfish is that, especially when there are some real concerns for why OP didn't. The money you save on raising kids can amply pay for your later years.
@@TheRainbow-us9wx you're still expecting someone to take care of you, you just expect to be able to pay low wages to a poor immigrant
Looking after elders is a community responsibility-not just familial. I look after the elders near me, and folks near my grandparents look after them. …
"How do we stop the decline of our society?" doesn't strike me as the right question to ask. That can only ever go in one direction; it's just a matter of how fast. "How do we rejuvenate/revitalise our society?" is the kind of question I think we should be asking. We have discredited the vision that has brought us here, and we need a fresh vision to take its place.
@@user-cz9jj2em2vit's messy and then it will require self control and discipline after the initial necessary actions occur.
Nationalism
A revitalisation of confidence. Being proud of who we and what we are. It all lies there.
its not gonna happen. No civilization has ever escaped these macro forces. Enjoy the decline.
How do we rejuvenate/revitalize our society?" Robots, kids are obsolete.
One point I think this conversation misses, is the accusation of "Deadbeat Dads" is often levelled at Dads who've been deliberately excised from a relationship with their children, and the "Malevolent Mums" who are financially rewarded by the state for denying contact and destroying the relationship with the absent father. The father's absence is very often not of their own doing!
This is why I'm a rich old man with no kids.
Thanks for post. I spent 8 years in the family courts trying maintain the relationship with my two daughters - their Mum did everything to stop and poison it. So sad. They are in their 30s now but they became strangers who I have only just started to see again once or twice a year.
100%.Privileged men, like Kisin and Foster, never see men as victims or persecuted. They always default to 'poor women'.
Idk who tf these people have as friends to buy that false narrative, unless they only know liberal men? I've know too many responsible men who were denied the right to be a father and raise their own kids. But plenty responsible enough to pay for BOTH their kids and their ex. Seeing their kids only every other weekend is denying men their right to be fathers. This lady needs to stfu, the other two can piss tf off! I'm sure dead beat dads exist, but I've never known any.
Single moms are a FAR worse problem than "deadbeat dads". Save the kids - put them up for adoption and solve both problems!!
Except the problem of withholding sex from men until they've done "grown up things" like getting a stable job and a house, is that stable employment and home ownership are both RADICALLY in decline. The price of homes has gone up, what, 50% in the last 4 years? Are you saying that only top 10% men should be allowed to have wives? Because having a huge amount of frustrated men with no realistically-attainable reason to personally invest in society's future doesn't take us to great places either.
The WEF thinks nothing bad will come of it.
Society can thrive after a revolution. Permanent decline just gets worse and worse.
@@GodwynDi Maybe … eventually. Revolution is easier than rebuilding a better society.
Sexual communism now! @@GodwynDi
I think by “grown up things” she just means that they have a stable job and can afford to live on their own (without roomies or with their parents for example). They are at the point where they would be capable of providing food and shelter for their children. She’s basically saying - society should promote withholding sex until marriage because it incentivizes boys to become successful gentlemen and it incentivizes girls to become successful ladies. A young girl who plans to not engage with sex until marriage will also be much more practical and realistic in choosing a husband…she won’t put it off for decades waiting for a 7 figured 7 foot dude…AND she is going to consciously conduct herself in such a way to attract a HUSBAND, not a boyfriend or a hookup. It’s a win-win for both sexes.
The explosion of housing prices gets a throwaway mention, when it's obviously the single biggest obstacle ordinary, working people. How utterly out-of-touch.
Sounds like we’re just gonna have to go back to long houses
Personally I feel this. I was "casually" dating this Mexican woman (25) who seriously wants a family over a career (unfortunately a rare find in these times). The reason we stopped after a few months was that she wanted someone established already, namely owns a home. I'm doing financially above average for someone who's 30 but home prices right now are keeping me in my apartment. The few houses I have made a bid on all sold for at least 30k more than asking, which is already more than what they're worth. My income isn't keeping up with rising prices or cost of living so looks like I'll have to wait for the boomers to die off before home prices start to get back to normal... when I'm in my 40s
I'm surprised no one mentioned a single word about children graduating from slave labour into luxury item.
I guess that is because it would ruin the argument. I often think about how many people complain whenever this is mentioned, by screaming some sort of miracle of life and blessing of kids. Industrialization and urbanization ruins the incentives. That is why alt righters hate this reply when they say "You can't be too poor to have kids. People in mud huts have 5 kids per woman."
I had 7 children and love them above and beyond, if I could I would have them all over again, what a wonderful time that was
That's incredible! I will have seven if I can!
I'm the only son with six sisters. So go figure. My sisters left a legacy of boy bands and movies with decent female characters (from the 90/00s)
I will have 90 children. You red pilled me madam!
well done! that's fantastic. We need much, much more women like you. This might sound like an exaggeration but you are truly a credit to your country.
what's the secret? move out of the city into a rural area?
Lord of the Rings is not popular by accident . The Shire is the archetype of the village life and we love that.
your love of the halflings leaf has clearly slowed your mind
@@analog2481Beat me to it. Well played
Men like small cities and villages. Comraderie, nature, work more outside, interaction is more limited. 95% of women hate village life for the very same reason.
True !
Watched the trilogy again last week; with older eyes it's the brotherhood story between Frodo and Sam and Sam's undying loyalty to Frodo and his mission that stood out as to why men like it.
What she's not saying about the safety net, is that it transfers the consequences of bad decisions from the person who made them to others who did not.
The safety net is the tax revenues paid by ordinary men.
But that would be a POLITICAL statement, and we can't have that!
@@alexmuenster2102 Actually you can make political statements if it about taxpayers paying for the genital mutilation of children.
On the reasons not to have kids, which she calls “not rational”: - cost of living - anthropogenic extinction of species - condemning a child to a lifetime of suffering they didn’t choose She didn’t explain the thinking behind any of these or offer a single argument against them. How lazy. Also, have you seen how a lot of kids in low-income countries live? They live in poverty. I’m from South Africa. Low-income individuals do tend to have bigger families here because they are typically less educated around birth control. They also can’t provide for their children. It’s commonplace to see women, with their children, begging for money at traffic lights. This is something people from first-world countries haven’t seen and do not understand, yet here they are using data out of context to support their argument. If you don’t believe me, Google “women begging at traffic lights with children in South Africa”. What an ill-informed, one-sided conversation.
Remember fellas. Don't get married. Don't have kids. It's not worth it. My case proves that. Drizzle drizzle.
No, we see that in the US as well. Especially California.
@@sunkissedkhala hectic! And people still make claims that because low-income individuals have children, it is therefore affordable.
They mentioned that schools are restructuring due to lower numbers of children but then equally we are being told we have too many people and schools/healthcare etc is going to be overwhlemed. Which is it? 🤔
The same thought crossed my mind, and now the mainstream is encouraging people to transition essentially sterilizing themselves.
Do your eyeballs tell you we have less people on this earth? Check each decade and compare the population. I doubt it’s decreased.
Both isn't it? Less children in the school system, although it's still chronically underfunded. More elderly (who are living longer - although some say that trend is beginning to reverse) burdening the healthcare system, and a working population that would be insufficient to support pensioners without immigration. Isn't that broadly agreed by all sides to be the demographic landscape?
@@arohanui922 it's certainly decreased where I live, because I live in a rural area. It's hard to find employees to fill positions and for businesses to grow.
@@arohanui922 By the numbers my hometown has been shrinking each decade for multiple decades in a row.
The only reason I didn't have more than 5 kids was I wasn't giving birth to them. My wife was kind enough to give me 5, I didn't want to ask for more... but now that we're both older I think we wouldn't mind more.
The left aren't against having babies per se. They don't have a problem with single mothers or immigrants having as many children as possible. They're just against children within traditional family arrangements.
Grandkids are good too, not the same, but good.
@@stephenalexander6721 Old friend of mine says Great-Grandkids are even better. So much so, he says it's a wonder he didn't start with them.
❤
You had plenty. Go golf. Lol
Francis, WHY would you assume that fatherless households are the result of fathers walking away?!? This is a terrible, totally out of touch take
Absolutely, ridiculous bias there. There are fathers taking care of their children without the mothers around. Also, for the given explanation, there is a good reason why women are given a larger part of responsibility for such tragic circumstances…
So, how important is marriage and two parent child rearing in minority cultures? Or even “safe sex”?
Because he's obviously detached from reality.
My mom threw out my dad and step dad, they most certainly didn't walk out
Over 90% of divorces are initiated by women, so it's more about men being exiled from the family.
There is absolutely no benefit for men to get married these days.
The risk is too high.* Fixed it for you. I want to have kids, but divorce and having my kids STOLEN from me is too high a toll given how high the risk is so I abstain. It's the sole factor that they lack loyalty and gratefulness.
@@de14jabs You can have kids without a contractual obligation between you, a woman and big daddy government. Fixed it for you.
Select wisely and there's a benefit
@@doesntmatter7485 Name the benefit.
@@de14jabs You can have children without getting married. And still get dragged through the family court system. There, fixed it for you.
My wife knew me before we started a relationship. When she heard that I was newly single, she swooped immediately and went “all in”. We have been together for 30+ years, we have grandchildren now and my love for her wanting me keeps her very special.
You didn't slut shame her for moving so fast?
😂
This is horrifying...
Sir, this is a Wendy’s
😂@@alst4817
I've seen a lot of commentary from men online that they assume women who don't sleep with them on the third date, the woman must not be attracted to them. I don't know how we will get anywhere close to six months if the former attitude is common.
Thisssss. I stopped sleeping with men I barely knew a while ago and the result is men, nice, sensible men, getting passive aggressive or ghosting me. When I managed to get some of them to communicate it was because we hadn’t kissed or had sex by date 2 or 3. Year ago when I got to know men as friends first and then dated, then ok, I may have slept with them after a few dates. But complete strangers from dating apps? No way! I stopped that madness many years ago when I ended up in some horrible situations
Because we know that these women have slept with other men on the third date.
@@xiaomoogle There's also this unfortunate phenomenon of man who demands a traditional woman without being a traditional man. It's like they want all the benefits of marriage with none of the responsibility. Why would we date men like that?
@@xiaomoogle I think you have to consider the environment we are in, it's kind of normal for a man to think you may be using him
LMAO y'all are having dates?
I'd like for my taxes (money stolen from me by force) to not go towards funding the top 10% of men having all these kids. That'd be a great start.
I wonder how often this actually happens. The thought of this happening is definitely upsetting to say the least. How could you be expected to pay for someone else's kid when you can't afford your own?
It's the bottom 20% of men having all the kids, not the top 1%.
@@troyguenther7572 France banned DNA paternity tests because they thought it would be catastrophic to society. It's that much. Baby trapping and paternity fraud.
Its both @jamesferguson536
Taxes aren't stolen from you. They pay for the society you live in. Don't like it? Try Oh Idk... Somalia maybe?
One reason we don’t shame deadbeat dads: It’s usually not the dads who walk out on the kids. The women force them out. Look at divorce statistics. 80% of divorce filings are submitted by the wife. Afterwards, the mother gets custody.
What about dead beat women..
While that's true, last I checked 'unreasonable behaviour and adultery' were the top two most commonly cited reasons for divorce in the UK. Just because women initiate divorce more often, doesn't mean to say they are the reason the marriage failed. Also that's no excuse for fathers to be 'deadbeat dads'. Plenty of men are great fathers and role models without being in a relationship with their children's mothers. Personally the deadbeat Dads I know of, they had every opportunity to be involved in their children's lives, but they just moved on to a new relationship and left their responsibilities behind. Or rather than plan fun experiences and spending quality time with their kids they turned up late (or not at all) or just took them to their grandparents and sat around watching TV or staring at their phones. The kids eventually get bored of being let down and decide they no longer want to spend time with them. But they will tell anyone that listens that it was their mother's that 'turned the kids against them'. Not saying that doesn't happen, it absolutely does and that's disgusting. All of this only goes to reiterate how pivotal picking the right spouse and mother/father to our children actually is.
@@tempsoda How do you explain 70% of female homosexual marriages end up in a divorce for only 30% for males? Are you blaming the man there too?
@@marcoprolo1488 I don't think I'm blaming men for anything, other than those that chose not to show up for their kids. I never said divorce was the man's fault, I merely said the one that files for divorce isn't necessarily solely responsible for the breakdown of the marriage.
I mentioned this on another post. I don’t think its that deadbeat dads are not shamed. They are simply ostracized by their normal circles and forgotten. Hence most deadbeat dads have friends who also have very volatile lives, its the only people that overlook it. While women may be “shamed” they are still broadly met with sympathy. Men are not. And they are not talked about anymore. They lose the respect of the portion of societys men that hold them up and are weened out of their social circles inevitably to join the circle of society that is willing to overlook it. In many ways, thats worse than public shame followed by sympathy these days. Men that can make waves can’t trust other men that can’t follow through on responsibilities like that. They just turn their cheeks in them. But the groups that accept it are volatile and loud. So it seems like they have social support. But most see through it, we just dont care about them anymore. Hence the other poster mentioned they will tell anyone that listens it was the mothers fault. Its because noone wants to listen, and those that do are not the type of men you want to surround yourself with. Just my own observation.
I don't regret my decision of not sleeping around. I am probably lucky I married my husband at 23 and already have my 3 kids before the age of 38. I did work which I liked but I also like staying at home with the kids. There is no way I would be a single parent.
Part of u must regret it because u have started the sentence with it
@@cryptoguruguy8965 she just convinced herself into it:)
@@cryptoguruguy8965 sit down. you red pill a-holes are always baiting at this stage.
One of the problems with the pill that doesn't get mentioned much of how it has set back the science of women's health. Many young girls are put on the pill because of heavy periods or other issues they have around their cycles, all without any investigation into the root causes of the problems.
You should look up the St Paul IV institute, it's run by catholic doctors who have made several key innovations in women's health and fertility specifically because the Catholic Church is against birth control and IVF.
"They haven't found the right man" They haven't found the 9 or 10 that doesn't mind that they're a 4 or 5? Yeah, not going to happen. To be fair, they're told that their career raises their value -- which is one of the biggest lies modern women are told. If anything, overcommittment to a career is a huge turn-off.
No, women are told that motherhood has no value and they cannot rely on a man to support them so they must have a career to support themselves.
I wouldn't call a career a minus so much as it is not a plus. Feminists should have promoted careerism simply as a form of equal rights and achieving independence and NOT as a marker for attraction; guys simply do NOT care.
@@marlonmoncrieffe0728 Ever had a relationship with a woman who worked 100 hours a week?
...No, @@jimluebke3869 . And does ANYONE? That sounds dangerous and masochistic.
What a delightful person you seem to be 😂
"Money isn't the most important thing," -KK. But you literally need it to live. If you can't afford housing and food, how can you afford a kid?
You do realize that 100 years ago people had a lot less money and yet successfully reproduced? The societal lower birth rate is certainly not about money.
The fact that we who comment have a need to reach out to complete strangers with our innermost thoughts says it all. A connected, isolated, lonely breed we be.
indeed. Thank you for sharing this moment and these thoughts w/me.
@@belaad 🤣
I absolutely loved being pregnant and despite living a very full life, I consider motherhood to be my most meaningful experience. While pregnant, I experienced all the same discomforts as other pregnant women, but I felt happy - even euphoric - almost the entire time. My sister was the same, and between us we have six children. Pregnancy isn’t always the awful experience it’s made out to be.
My mother also told me when I asked her whether it was hard or a shock to be pregnant again after a gap of 13 years that no, it was nice because at that point my parents were settled into their house, paid off, and she didn't have to work while pregnant. Granted, she was blessed with uncomplicated pregnancies, but still. I think it's just important to be honest and paint a realistic picture. Don't romanticise it, don't paint it black.
Feminists use pregnancy - something men can never experience - to gatekeep the rights to suffer, to be a victim, to be worthy of support, care, attention and investment in society. They good it over men and have weaponised it. That's why it's always made out to be a bad thing, a hard thing, a challenging thing etc.
@Edabee, this si something I look forward to once I've found the right man. Thanks for giving me hope ❤
KK and FF, do a show about the power of positive grandparenting. Our grandkids spend countless hours with us as we work our small produce farm and bakery, and some day they’ll grow up super skilled at life with the solid knowledge that their grandparents literally loved them every day of their lives. If that doesn’t prepare you to navigate this world then nothing will. It gives the parents a huge break during the day and takes so much of the pressure off them.
We shame single mothers more than "deadbeat" dads? How many of those fathers wanted to live with their children, but were denied it for no other reason than being male? How many shelters for single fathers and their children exist in the world (hint: It's less than 1)? How many single fathers are on the street? Our entire welfare system is built around supporting mothers and blaming fathers for it, either by forcing them to pay for all of it or shaming them when they can't. I love you, Louise, but you have a lot to learn about the experience of single fathers, at least in the U.S., where they are relegated to sperm donors and ATMs the moment the family court system gets involved.
When men fight for their children, they often get them. This is because the courts look at which parent is financially capable of providing for the children. The problem is men do not want them. This applies to my own father who walked out on his 4 children to start a new life.
@ethxo6734 please ask your dad his side of the story?
We don't shame single mothers, the media and brothel entertainment industry elevates them.
@@ethxo6734 not true, talk to divorce lawyers. Most men that fight for children DO NOT get children. Most states view mothers as best opportunity for children.
HUSBAND comes from the viking HOUSE-BONDED. The man who is now settled.
Neat. But so what.
@@docsavage8640Knowledge is its own reward.
I love tidbits like this
Vikings who spoke English instead of nordic|frysian? Sure bud
There is literally no etymological evidence for this claim and it’s definitely some schizo “white Hotep” shit 😂
The biggest correlation on population decline is stagnant real wages but massive inflation in the cost of living & housing affordability collapse. When married couples cannot afford to buy a home, how many kids do you think they are going to have?
I have 3 boys and sometimes I’m sad we stopped at 3 when I hear about population decline. But I’m determined to be a fantastic grandparent so my kids will be more likely to have children.
I think it was Chris Williamson that basically laid it out like this: the point of people is to be grandchild optimisation machines. That really made me think. what if all the actions we took were informed by the first principle of making everything about having the best and healthiest grandchildren we possibly can?
Being a grandparent changes everything. They become your whole world.
A lot of Boomers aren’t interested in being hands on grandparents. They want to travel and focus on themselves and just swoop in for holidays and birthdays.
Why not 'saving the planet?' We’re so self-important.
@@katiez688Not this 70 year-old Gramma. I’ve had 20 years of developing a close relationship with my grandson. He lives in the city, and we’re an hour away. We travel periodically, and keep ourselves fit. Perhaps there are some parents that expect the grandparents to act as “daycare” for their babes. My role as Gramma is precious, and I’ve already raised my children. Now we help with uni costs.
7:35 is this a joke? The legal system absolutely wrecks men on tje grounds of protecting the child. This is just Louise's typical "women most effected" nonsense.
She's still a feminist
Yeah and dead beat dads are absolutely shamed whilst single mothers are seen as heroines in the media. What alternate reality are they referring to here?
Heard that and thought the exact same thing. We don't just shun deadbeat dads, we often imprison them.
Read all the comments from the men on this thread that are happily married. Children ARE more important then parents. Obviously those "single mother heroines" are pieces of work often themselves, but those "deadbeat" fathers should have thought of the consequences of having sex with a wrong woman. if you honestly think the person who actually stays with the child has it easy, you obviously don't have (or left behind) kids
@@belaad I don’t think many people thinks raising a child on their own has it easy whether the main carer is the mother or the father. I don’t have children and I certainly don’t think that. That’s why having two people raise a child is better than one in ideal circumstances. The thread is about how the narrative is framed around the fathers and the assumption from many people is that if the father is absent or pretty much absent, then he’s a dead beat dad. There could be many reasons for his absence but too often people think the worst of men in general with the woman blameless. The issue is that single mothers are not shamed to the extent of dead beat dads. There’s no dead beat single mothers for example. The label of being dead beat is a shameful one. Just ask that breakdancing dad whose influencer daughter branded him a dead beat dad when he was no more that 10 minutes down the road, providing plenty of financial assistance for his kids because he didn’t want them to go without. His daughter, no doubt influenced by his ex wife framed him as a dead beat dad for all to see on the internet.
I generally agree with her, especially in the broad conclusions she reaches, but she's being wildly absurd about dead beat dads and single moms.
Can we please stop labeling men who had their kids taken away by our broken family court system as dead beats? There are so many guys who want to see their children but aren't allowed to because the mom gets more child support the less custody the dad gets, and the court pushes it because they get a cut.
She's close but still missing the mark. She acknowledges that at the end of the day women are willing to share a highly desirable man which is correct. Or maybe more accurately a man more desirable than she would normally be able to get. But she doesn't understand she just contradicted herself in the previous section. Many single mothers and many women who date Rich and powerful men, even if they're fooling themselves, really ought to know what they are doing. The fact that from the outside looking in we know what's going on means that the people in the situation really ought to know as well. It's really not productive to attempt to shame men for what is effectively a female behavior and let women off the hook. Either everyone involved is that fault or it's okay.
The same Beauty and the Beast narrative that initially motivates girls to seek out unsuitable men in the first place is the same Beauty and the Beast narrative that eventually causes them to overlook the flaws of previously designated "lesser" men and compromise. The women you describe are just living out different stages of the same fantasy story, but without having first hand experience of the pitfalls it's very hard for many to imagine the downsides.
Men need to understand tis and understand it well: DO NOT ask women to be accountable. THEY ARE NOT CAPABLE OF IT. Psychological studies show that if a man feels guilty about doing something he will attempt to change his behaviour, if a woman feels guilty, she attempts to change her perspective, and gaslight herself that she was right all along. This is the core reason why men have to be the leaders. It's not something that can be changed.
I love the Beauty and the Beast story because of its positive and conservative message, @@MrXaphus: An ordinary woman became a princess through the sheer power of her simple femininity that tamed a horrible beast-both inside and out.
Self deception is extremely powerful. Most likely works into the harem situation.
Right on, man!
"High status opinions are left-wing, low status opinions are right-wing." ❌ "High status opinions are left-wing. High *value* opinions are right-wing." ✅
Opinions are like assholes, we all have one.
She's making reference to luxury beliefs. I get the distinction, but I think her statement is still more accurate because when you're poorer, you have to be more grounded to survive or be comfortable.
You Nazi bastard. How dare you. Well done.
@@bobapeck594 *Wrong.*
@@hulkhatepunybanner i could be, but do you care to make an actual argument?
I get tired of Louise's arguments centring around high-status men, which is what most feminists do.
19:10 "I think its definately the case that when men are not allowed to have sex before marriage, and when they can only get married when they have done various 'adult things' like 'you got a job, you got a house, you got x-ammount,' they are going to be extremely motivated to do those things."
I agree.
And low-status women. Rich women aren't particularily put out by being single Mom's. They have aupairs, nannies, extra-curriculars, etc. It's poor women who suffer. In the same way, poor men suffer. If your poor and can't afford a lawyer, and your wife leaves with the kids, you're either paying child support, financially crippling you, or you stay so poor that she can't get blood from a stone and youbhave no incentive to improve your station.
@@Beatnik59 men always had sex before marriage, even if it was in secret ... it is now they are not having sex at all
That's because she only mixes with high status men.
We also don't talk about dead beat women who have left their male partners as single fathers with their children. I also think that our society began to experience the consequences of rejecting family values introduced by Judaism and Christianity. We tend to forget why those values were developed. And we don't need to force or brainwash people to have more children, we only need to begin to value motherhood and fatherhood ,children and family instead of vilyfiing it as "right wing" or removing words such as "mother" and "father " and looking upon people who have more than one child as "dysfunctional ". Or telling people that they will have "no life" if they have children.
It is really interesting that this conversation started with a mentioning of the idea of waiting 6 months until intimacy. Just the other day, I was thinking abou, that where I am from, the standard is that people sleep with each other for 2-3 months before deciding if they want a relationship.
Easily one of your best guests ever. I bought her book after watching your first interview with her and it's a brilliant read, her podcast Maiden Mother Matriarch is absolutely fascinating too. She's great at speaking eloquently and gently but also to the point, which is why so many people on X and Reddit absolutely despise her. The MMM episode she did with Katy Faust is fantastic.
Ain’t no way Chad gonna wait 6 months for her to give it up. - when they’re only selecting the top 4.5% they inherently know who has the leverage.
If he's husband material he will.
Yeah, @@darkangel10001000. Any quality man will respect a woman that will not put out till marriage (or, at least, engagement).
@user-cz9jj2em2v enjoy a meaningless existence then. Just sex gets old. Eventually, most people want something more. that being said, the kind of woman is worth waiting for is hard to come by now a days.
@@user-cz9jj2em2v but as you get older, the meaning of life becomes having a kid
@@darkangel10001000”wife material” was never a hoe in the first place, so “husband material” never felt like he was being treated worse than her previous boyfriends.
Japan hurts the pill argument, it was only introduced in 1999 and they saw the same sharp declines in birth-rates beginning in the 60's. Welfare likely played a bigger role in changing societal norms.
Although I do know a lot about Japan, I fail to see how me or her can compare anything when Japans culture and mentality of the people is so alien to us.
There's also scarcity of space. In many apartments, particularly in Tokyo, there's hardly enough room for a family.
Overpopulation in urban centres probably leads to lower birth rates, might not be a cultural but rather a natural response
The drive of progressivism, of abandoning religion and tradition instead regressed us to our basic animal instincts of sleeping around like animals. Its just that the pill with abortion is able to curb physical consequences (but not societal)
>>Japan hurts the pill argument, it was only introduced in 1999 and they saw the same sharp declines in birth-rates beginning in the 60's. Welfare likely played a bigger role
The reason deadbeat dad's are no longer shamed, which they certainly use to be, is that in the post sexual revolution world there is no apparatus to do so. What would you appeal to? You would have to have a traditional outlook on sex and marriage to do so. Deadbeat dad's are the closest equivalent to an elective abortion for women.
Nope, because on per capita basis deadbeat mums easily outnumber deadbeat dads, i.e. there is a higher percentage of deadbeat mums.
Are you calling a woman that feeds her baby every three hours a dead beat mom because she doesn’t have a job while doing so?
@@lelamaciolek1166 If she's not with the dad, then yes, definitely. That's her problem.
@@lonewaer You don't know what a deadbeat dad or deadbeat mum is. The terms refer to people who have parented a child and intentionally fail to pay child support ordered by a family law court or statutory agency such as the Child Maintenance Service. Mothers required to pay, dodge their duty at a higher rate than dads.
@@lelamaciolek1166 Another thing you might be surprised to learn is the on average outcomes for children of single mother households are significantly worse on every metric, than the on average outcomes for children from 2 biological parent households or single father households. The outcomes for children of single father households are on average a match for 2 biological parent households.
The reason we don't talk more about 'deadbeat dads' is because if we did, we would have to acknowledge how important fathers really are. That would lead to some uncomfortable conversations around families where the father wants to be involved but is prevented from doing so. Most women are not so keen to have that conversation - it is just so much more convenient to just bank the cheque every month and believe it is OK.
There are a lot of men who leave because their parenting is undermined and destroyed by the mother, who slowly isolates him from the children's trust. They often leave to try to save the kids from the lies and manipulation... and them being used as weapons.
Don't waste your breath on these simps, their balls are in their gf's purse.
"often" yeah sure
Really? What I’ve seen is that the men in that position don’t step up from the beginning,
@@HerWanderlust Some don't, I grant you, but not all - by a long way.
Let us be honest now. Most men that leave is because they regret they had children and found a more attractive mate somewhere else.
Interesting to see that not just those in the "manosphere" are noticing that we are (slowly) reverting back to a tournament species where a small percentage of men monopolise the dating market and the rest of the men work and pay taxes to fund welfare in order to raise the children. We're still predominately monogamous as things stand according to the statistics on relationships but I suspect things are slowly changing.
A small percentage of men don't monopolise the dating market, what a strange way to put it, all the women in the dating market are choosing to sleep with the same small amount of men, most men aren't even aware of the fact.
@@gavinwilson2071 Ultimately it is those men who get to pick and choose because of supply and demand. There's far less of them compared to the women who want them.
@@tgheretford What about the large amount of men not getting any? Are they ultimately choosing that? The women in the dating market are the ones doing the choosing and that is why only a small amount of men are doing well in it, because they are the only ones the women want. Women swipe positively much less than men do in any given dating situation so they get more of a choice and they choose the outcome, it's not rocket science.
Which means when Islam takes over, you will all be fine. I expect men who are anti Islam to do a 180 when they realise it might benefit them. lol.
You don't need to go looking at the animal kingdom to see how things go. Just take a look back at tribal societies and those that focused on hoarding resources at the top. It's all well and good collecting all the wealth in the world and 300 wives in your palace until an army comes to your doorstep. They were all conquered because why would the young men fight to defend something they get absolutely nothing from? Many tribal societies, particularly in Africa and India welcomed and fought WITH colonialists against their former rulers because of the resentment at having nothing.
Just. Change. The. Laws. Its not about the sexual revolution. Its about the risk of marriage having exceeded even the most deluded idea of its rewards. Get the State out of it. Put it under contract law, and this mess will sort itself out in one generation.
Interesting that Konstantin talked about feeling that he was 'wired for monogamy', and that only 20% of human societies are naturally monogamous. I wonder whether this might be influenced by the statistical distribution of monogamy genes, like the oxytocin receptor genes in the different species of prairie voles?
The deepest underlying consequence of the 2nd wave feminist revolution is the insidious loneliness. I've wanted closer, intimate genuine connections with people and the alienation between the genders has created a sexist, lonely, foreign wasteland to navigate as lost wanderers. Being in a less sexist and gender-segregated culture was warm, loving and liberating for me. Seeing women be kind and trusting to men, and have genuine friendships with men, was healing for my trauma.
Word.
I've long had a theory that people in really poor countries treat their kids as their retirement investment, hoping that maybe if they have enough kids, it's more likely that at least one of them makes some decent money and takes care of the parents. Rich people have the confidence of being able to afford paying someone to take care of them when their old. Plus they can afford good doctors to make sure they're as healthy as possible.
If you are a subsistence farmer, where land is abundant - kids are a labour force that multiply the amount of harvest your family can bring in once they get old enough to help out. And even young kids of 5 or 6 can assist in various ways. When you live where housing is costly, food is costly, taxes are high, and so on - you are screwed: Barely able to afford to live. Couple that with high inflation values, that are lied about through doctored - read fixed - CPI numbers, masking the inflation rate when officially reported. The way we fix the problem - is deal with the core of the problem, which means we need to actively attack inflationary monetary policy.
Yep. Having lived in China where there is no welfare state, this is the case. As the country gets wealthier people are opting to not have kids.
Not only in really poor countries. Before the welfare state, children were generally expected to care for their parents in old age, in exchange for their inheritance.
I think is too economic a view of people. People don't have children as an economic investment but as a social phenomenon. There is a social factor. When people are poorer, their social net is more important and children are an important part of that.
I'd also add that a good chunk of the rich people are insanely greedy and/or individualistic, and cannot comprehend sharing those resources with someone else. On top of that, they also tend to be busy with careers/business/whatever gets them the money.
I think the honest reason there's less shame/discussion about deadbeat dads is simply the fact that you can see a single mother but a deadbeat dad looks like any other single man
More like: many of these men are forced out of their children's lives and seen solely as a financial subsidizer. Why pay for kids being turned against you? Why pay for kids you don't get to see and are being estranged from on purpose?
@@docsavage8640take it to court.
Stop projecting…. There are many young, unmarried men, especially those under 20 who want no involvement with their spawn.
@@docsavage8640because you love them regardless of your relationship with their mother. Also, always put yourself in the strongest position possible to fight for custody, a father who has contributed financially is always a better look than who hasn’t contributed to spite the mother
@@docsavage8640 This doesn't happen
So Louise is just going to gloss over what brought about the situation in Rome? How convienent.
That's a lot of factors and it's own episode.
80%+ of divorces are driven by ladies. Not surprising that the fathers are thus absent, as the ladies who broke up the relationship wanted out with the benefits, without the husband. In the 1950’s 1 income could support a family with 3 children and house. Now to achieve the same you need 2.5 incomes. Ladies always want the “now” with power, position and money. Men want the “future” harmony, stability and to build. So ladies always looking for the next stepping stone (guy) to give them more until they cannot get the next as their allure wains. Guys want a lady who will be the growth support. At the moment these are mutually exclusive.
25 minutes in and everybody acts as if condoms don't exist.
what's a condom?
@@jr6200 it flies around and it’s endangered
Or non hormon based coil.
@@michaelleone9931 Yeah, that bird has never got the respect it deserves
@@michaelleone9931😅😂
It feels like a significant reduction in the cost of living would help to turn the fertility rates. There are a lot of people not having kids, or only having 1/2 kids, because they simply cannot afford to have more. Bigger houses for more space are too expensive for most to access, and feeding the kids is becoming harder.
The single mothers are often single by choice, keeping the child from the devoted father either by court order(-s) or by moving long distances away; I'm not claim universality, but astonishingly often.
Big percentage of men simply not stepping up as well. We live in times of Weak men and thus hard times
@@evilpuck6100 that's right, my point was that we're heavily dis-incentivizing "stepping up" as you call it by weakening his parental rights and simultaneously enforcing his responsibilities by an iron fist we're also promoting single motherhood both in court and the culture generally
This claim always pisses me off. “WOMEN KEEP THE KID AWAY FROM THE DAD” I’m black, and black women have the highest rates of single motherhood because black men hate responsibility. We also have the highest rates of domestic violence and that goes up when the woman is pregnant? Why? Because these men genuinely hate kids and women.
I was judgemental against so called “dead beat dads.” But after going thru divorce court, I am no longer so judgemental.
That's the sign of a low IQ, not being able to empathize with others unless you actually experience their situation.
In regard to Dicaprio having lots of under 25 y.o. women but no children with them is that he is well aware of the massive financial catastrophe that awaits him if any of the women get pregnant and leave.
IMO those women are his beards - in reality he is getting NO ONE pregnant.
Yep and this is the red pill that Perry has yet to swallow by truly viewing things from a man’s perspective. If 80% of the time women leave and they are incentivized to leave, he can’t afford to risk being monogamous as in marriage, right. I had this debate years ago with someone who said Leo should have married Giselle because look at how great a family Tom Brady has, that could have easily been Leo’s instead. Only a few weeks later she left Tom and latter found out she was sleeping with her personal trainer. That could have been Leo’s humiliation instead. It’s the risk reward, you would be very hard pressed to fine a modern woman who has been loyal faithful and who made their husband look smart for taking the risk. That’s the reality.
@@user-fl9ps8xf2y she asked him to give up on his career and be there for her and kids for way too long. He promissed that too many times and all those times he broke that promise. He wasn't successful college kids with life ahead of him. He was someone who achieved everything that he possibly could and still refused to prioritise family. Giselle cheated on him only if you choose to believe rumours
You ignore a few details. Brady promised Giselle he would retire so they could enjoy the fruits of their labour and he refused. She got tired of being on her own all the time with the children while he was out and about doing God knows what, possibly cheating on her too. Any woman would divorce under those conditions, if their man didn't even want to spend time with them. We and your children are not just some piece of furniture you can buy and forget about
@@ccurrie9672nope
The issue with the deadbeat dads is that they were normally always a deadbeat to begin with and the woman still picked them. And its often multiple women picking the same men.
The problem is that emotions and attraction can be blinding. Not everyone Is a cold hard robot when it comes to relationships, in fact most are based on infatuation.
@@lmonk9517 And yet somehow this didn´t use to be the case before the taxpayer got to pay for their bastards and the girls were no longer shamed for being sluts.
I can't tell you how many times I've seen it. Felon who can't hold down a job for more than a month and has 5 kids with 3 different women already and he's about 26 thousand dollars in arrears for child support which means he doesn't have a driver's license anymore - and what are so many women's reaction? "Hmm.... I need to get me some of that man! Make me a baby, baby!!!!" Talk about a luxury belief - any man or woman who can afford to survive at all with such poor decision making, is doing so on the efforts and toils of the better people who came before them and built the society which they now infest and beleaguer.
Don't criminal men have a 30% higher rate of being fathers than non criminals?
I know a young man who has had two kids to different women and pays maintenance for them. He now lives with a young professional woman who is way above his status and intelligence and she cannot see what a hopeless case he is. I think it must be the sex , I can't see any other reason. She is going to waste her life with him. It is hard to figure it out. Society is pretty screwed up. When we parted way with centuries of married traditions it all started to go bad. I blame women's lib a Marxist doctrine designed to destroy the family.
After having a daughter, the thing I'm terrified of most is her buying into the progressive ideology. Because everything that will hurt her the most is downstream of that.
She is brilliant. And brave. And absolutely right. I'm a man in my 30s without kids. Had several long-term relationships up til now and never had kids. Really starting to regret not having kids earlier. Seeing my brothers and friends building families and seeing the kids grow up makes it clear. For most people, just falling in love and building a family is the main thing in life. Everything else is ultimately a side thing
I don't agree at all that single mothers are looked down upon more than deadbeat dads, I actually think that that is ludicrous, single mothers are looked at with compassion and respect these days by most people and deadbeat Dad's are one of the most looked down upon groups in society, just look at the 2 titles.
I agree. I've heard many women take pride in raising children alone, never heard a father boasting of abandoning his children. Fathers being denied access to their children after separation is far more common.
They're typically looked down on by their exes, particularly after a divorce, but generally society seems supportive.
@@snopure and the dads who no longer have custody of their own children are mostly looked down upon by their single mother exes, what's your point?
Yes, just listen to the media and music too. Single mothers are basically heroines, fighting against unjust odds thanks to those dead beat fathers.
I do think there's a happy medium between waiting until marriage and hooking up all the time. How about only having sex in the context of a committed relationship? I would think that's still going to accomplish a lot of the same goals without pressuring people to get married earlier, before they really know if someone is right.
That I feel is the best.We need to remember divorces are at an all time high,we don't want to create marriages that will break a few months later.Or even worse created more single parent homes.
I disagree. If you're in a committed relationship that's 2 years long from the time you're 18 to 28. That's 5 partners, the research shows those most satisfied with their marriage are virgins and then it craters after more partners.
Of course, that's a woman having her cake & eating it too. Men want variety, not boring serial monogamy.
MALE DISPOSABILITY 10 SECS IN! thanks louise.................🤮
Women get bailed out of all their bad decisions.
For some reason nobody wants to point at this elephant in the room.
Yeah. After the deadbeat dad sentence I stopped the video.
Well, look on the bright side, guys. When society collapses and the hyper-feminist generations die off, relationships will reset back to a somewhat conservative fashion. Because what works is ageless. Progressiveness was just trying to reinvent the wheel...didn't.
This is a huge reason it continues. People feel shame for a reason, it’s our brain telling us what we are doing is wrong. We never should have stopped shaming anyone in general.
@@joshanonline Or Islam takes over...
I think it’s a bit naive to say “oh, it won’t be so bad” - It’s going to be horrible and tough for millions.
I like men exclusively but am absolutely infatuated with this woman all the same. Her intelligence, voice, manner of speaking, sense of humour and that beautiful animated face you could stare at for a lifetime. If I was a straight man and lucky enough to be married to Louise Perry I would listen to her talk of the decline of Rome till the end of my days.
Note from a straight man: If you were man, you would eagerly listen to anyone talking about Rome ;) But I get your point completely!
I don't know why, but I think she would be perfect for a Jane Austen movie^^ With her poise, her intelligence, her voice, her calm, but determined demeanour, and also her brown hair and eyes... I'm getting big Elizabeth Bennet vibes XD
@@owl4260or the mother character in some children's drama that dads just watch the show for
@@owl4260 100%! Although I am of the opinion that Louise is imbued with more grace still.
@@Adomir Haha I'm already obsessed with Rome, though my knowledge is more about the fall of the Republic rather than the Empire. All the more reason why I'd be happy to listen to someone talk about its later days, depressing current day parallels notwithstanding
I liked her first book but she's still got the warped feminist worldview to some extent. Young women are often referred to as "girls" whereas young men are always men. There is no ground given for youth an naivety when it comes to males. Worse, referring to the Vietnam war and the brothels that surrounded GI barracks, I find it strange that the primary target of sympathy should be the women ("girls, really" in her words) and not the GIs, who were conscripts, with an average age of nineteen (so boys, really, in my words), forced to fight to the death.
Yes, she's a complete gender racist and all she cares about is how to leverage things for women. She's just quite cute, so people like her.
You could’ve summed up this entire interview by just saying that feminism is the fault of every problem we have today
Yeah Like literally every social and many economic problems has its cause root back to feminism LOL!
Waiting for sex and having a job and house beforehand is what exactly happens in Muslim countries. And yet, domestic violence and child abuse are common. Same in India. Men in those countries are very sexually frustrated exactly because they have to wait so long. Women aren't really treated the best either.
Correlation is not causation.
@@stormygeo please elaborate.
When I was young I wanted 4 kids. Never did find a girl who wanted to have those kids with me and I cant really blame them because I have never had a job that would support a 4 kid family. The only thing that has kept my head above water all this years is not having kids. It is simply too expensive.
News for you. You don't marry a salary. When TWO people are committed to each other and their babies, they rise to the challenges out of love. Frankly, not having kids meant that you did not need to find the will, nor the way, to support anyone. Sacrificial love is not meant to be easy.
@@lisalapoint7022 True. I have a cosign who has 3 kids with very little money. That being said, his wife left him after 14 years. At least she left him the kids. There's 11 billion stories out there. Not all are happy ones or chosen by their protagonists.
@@lisalapoint7022yep, next time you head to the bank for a mortgage but haven’t got a big enough deposit, just say you’re doing it for love and I’m sure they’ll understand
@@jeran881I knew a guy who had the same thing happen to him. Single father of three kids under 10. He became an alcoholic, a hoarder, went through nannies like water, let his kids eventually invite random strangers into their home while in their teens to party while he locked himself in his room, the grandparents looked down on them, and it kept getting more gruesome from there..
I always thought there was more stigma attached to being a deadbeat dad than being a single woman, but it's by nature impossible to hide being a single mom, and one would often have to announce being a deadbeat dad.
As a single Dad, with a deadbeat Mom, there are significant advantages to keeping the kids. The government benefits I get for having kids more than pays my rent. On top of that, there's a plethora of government programs for raising kids and single parents specifically. I have the utmost respect for any parent who raises their kids alone, but there are plenty of incentives to have custody regardless of the effort you put into parenting.
The reins need yanking in. Otherwise we're looking at 1984 crossed with The Handmaids Tale as a future when the population crisis deepens.
aren't we yet ?! and mouse utopia is lurking either.
People will just off themselves. Nobody cares.
I agree with her on almost everything, EXCEPT, the fact that there are people who would’ve been better not being born. I think there’s no argument saying that there are no such people. Some people just would be better not ever being born, I can think of a million example of people suffering and living a life of hell on earth.
completely agree. with human child/infant mortality being about 50% until the industrial age, i feel this is irrefutable
>>I can think of a million example of people suffering and living a life of hell on earth
@@alexmuenster2102 No, you don't. You are speculating with little thought.
@@abcdfg4281 Here's a little test: Can you think of even only a SINGLE person who would have been better off being born (instead of not born)? Will you concede that there is at least a SINGLE individual who would have been better off being born (instead of never achieving existence)?
I'm an Israeli, a mother of 5, and a grandmother. In Israel, people who see themselves as non-religious also have large families (4 kids is an Israeli norm) because they feel a connection to their Jewish roots and have a sense of belonging to our people and homeland. When you feel you have a heritage , a set of values you cherish, you want children to carry these things on into the future of mankind. In order to have children you must believe that you are a link in a chain and not a wandering atom....
Great perspective I like this
You mean your media doesn't peddle anti-family, anti-natal, anti-human themes in Israel? Hmmmmm.
3000$ for a basement suite. 15$ for a big mac. You have to be crazy. Those who say money doesnt matter end up living in a tent.
Louise Perry's book really altered my thinking. I am a high testosterone man, in many ways I am the dangerous man she describes. In my youth I was in no way actually dangerous, but I was brought up in a society that absolutely assumed women were just like men, are totally fine with one night stands and no commitment as we 'play the field'. My whole sex life was just a long chain of broken hearts and misery for all parties involved, deep down I don't think men even want that, we were just raised in this numbers game and we collect women to impress other people, not for any actual happiness. 20 years later I am married to a 'traditional' woman from Europe, many of my female friends judged me as dating a controllable or docile woman. When in fact my wife taught me the value of family, we now have two daughters and my life in completely transformed for the better. Literally all of my liberal, feminist female friends are single and now in their 40's, drinking and moaning. Ironically, I have now taken the traditional female role as a stay at home dad homeschooling our girls. My wife is a happy career woman even after having the kids.
It seems like fatherhood has balanced you out a bit, it's crazy that men do eventually go through a bit of a hormonal change but its at different stages of life in different circumstances than women
@@kalesmart1 I think very different triggers too. From my experience women tend to just automatically go through that change. Whereas myself and many men I know, actually had to make the commitment, take the plunge, then once the children came and they felt loved and appreciated then it all made sense.
@@wearesebastian Don't be a stay at home dad, it will corrupt your daughters even if not your wife.
Perhaps monogomous societies were as successful as they were because men had an incentive to participate? When 20% of men have access to 80% of women not only does that incentive disappear for the 80% of men excluded but it provides a *disincentive* for them to participate because you're then working to pay taxes to support a societal system that is working against your interests.
Do you have any solutions?
@@marlonmoncrieffe0728 Nothing will change until women are humbled. And that is inevitable, it's just a matter of time.
The thing i hate about this show is that there's never the other side to advocate correctly for their point. People live longer, people have more knowledge about what you can do in the world, they also have the means to do more than breed.
I agree with the caveat that you would have to find people capable of a Socratic vs. Hegelian dialectic. Otherwise, you are just watching people argue with no interest in being changed by the conversation.
Sure, but without breeding, we are all DEAD - a self inflicted TOTAL GENOCIDE
A group of guys will always have to wait 6 months, and another group of guys never have to wait. It has always been like that. Social media just brought this out in the open.
Can't help but notice there's more lighthearted and playful moments in this then otherTrig vids, and that's clearly down to all three knowing each other but, let's be real, if you can make a woman like Louise laugh it really doesn't hurt! That's some gold right there
If you're not willing to invest in affordable housing or address income disparity then why is declining population such a terrible thing? Are we so wired to anticipate war we want to encourage people who don't want to parent to be parents? Why is that the government's business and the tax payers' liability to encourage pregnancies? We used to also have living wages in the 70's straight out of highschool, and average tenure at a job was ten years. The real reason for chasing population growth is economics. Politicians want gdp lines to rise, but that's nonsense. If you have fewer population then a linear decline in economic output is perfectly natural. The richest gain more wealth by more renters and customers; that's the only reason to focus on fertility rates. To make a small number of rich people richer for the next generation is an asinine reason to be preoccupied with other people's life decisions. The irony is those same people peddling antidepressants and porn are part of that wealthy minority who benefit from maintaining demand to maintain revenues streams. Nothing to do with moral decay or nihilism, it's just not a fact that declining fertility is a bad thing unless it lasts a century or more. It's not a big deal. And discouraging sex before 6 months means people 4 months in who were very invested might be inclined to manipulate partners just for some satisfaction before breaking up, such is the motivation of sexual frustration as you rightly point out. Then there's the obvious issue of people not even knowing their partners' sexual compatibility until after having invested a ton of time and energy into a partner that can't satisfy, or doesn't want to satisfy. And then if they have kids soon after starting to couple some partners might lose interest and the frustration kicks in right when they thought they'd cleared the wait. There are so many reasons it's insane to believe everyone is so uniform we can possibly conjecture it makes sense to make presumptions of dire consequences for society, or what others would prefer if nudged by social convention, or that anyone would be better off just doing and living the way I like to live and do things. Where the acknowledgement of preference and variability and expression? How is that anything but fascist to have the government involved in the sex lives of citizens for the benefit of the nation at the cost of the citizen? That's literally what fascism means lol that's why it's considered a right wing opinion, because words have meaning.
There is no such thing as the Marxist concept of a living wage.
The entire social security system is currently dependent on population replacement, once that stays too for too long any form of old age pensions, most medicare and a variety of other services will straight up disappear.
The current generations seem to think that Sex which to me is an emotional as well as physical connection, is merely a Transaction for instant gratification or a bargaining chip/ comodity to scale your social standing against
This interview makes me worry that nothing will ever be able to be fixed. Even though I agree with the identification of all the problems she highlights, but the realities we live in are completely different. 1) She notes that we shame single mothers more than deadbeat dad, which I would argue is not true. 2) She uses the term incel as an insult / dismissive term whilst later painting woman who can not find partners as tragic victims. Surely men who can not find partners they find acceptable are just as tragic as women who can not find partners they find acceptable. 3) They talk about how the nuclear family may be a root cause of this (as it made people visibly struggle more), but the nuclear family did not forbid grandparent involvement. I would argue the breakdown of the nuclear family and the rise in single parents are far more to blame for making children seem like a stressful burden. 4) They talk about us worshipping money in the modern day, I disagree, I think we worship happiness (self happiness) and not contentment or satisfaction is the problem and happiness is transitory and so need continual bigger and better. 5) I also think she downplays the disaster of economic collapse. Its effect on the older lower classes is hugely problematic, death will be the result. 6) I think the fact that she / they shame Leo for his activities without really examining anything and framing it as childish is problematic (either woman and men are both childish following biological drives or no one is). Him having s*x with them is driving the Ferraris, I assume he does not have children with them because he does not want people suing him for his money. 7) I think the concept of the pill inside marriage is crazy, either it has to be banned outright (will never happen) or the current system. You can not put the toothpaste back in the tube, Medical Marjane access proved hat doctors could not be trusted to make sensible decisions. Her main argument for kids is "Trust me, they are great when you have them" and that's probably true once your have children, but do this thing that is difficult for the good of society, and after a while it will be super rewarding, is only case that can be made by older people in close knit families ... and trust and close knit families are at an all time low.
All valid points, but that's why you also need *male* intellectuals, to speak about those issues. Louise will never (truly) understand the opposite gender, don't over-think it.
Looking forward to this. She is an incredible woman.
That's the opposite of what she is ... which is exactly why I like her so much. She's a down to earth, thoughtful and relatable woman.
@@boxingjerapah How is any of that in opposition to being an incredible woman?
I don't think I could have had more than the two children I had, even if it had been on the cards, as my health was massively impacted by pregnancy, childbirth, and the post partum years. PTSD from childbirth is a real thing as well. We need more support for women/mothers AND families - that includes the fathers as well. We are now raising children with almost no support and it can be HARD.
I completely understand this. I have 3 and while I would love to have more, there is just no way to do this alone. I barely hung on as is, and adding more to this wouldn’t be fair to the new child born. This world/communities/society is not family/child friendly. I grew up in a small village in Eastern Europe, and that was wonderful. Once we came to the U.S., it was a major culture shock because the society in the U.S. promotes the “me me me individualism” where ppl aren’t forming the “village” needed to raise children and support parenthood. And the childbirth trauma you mentioned is ABSOLUTELY a thing, and no one talks about it. Postpartum is also extremely traumatic. This is why it’s imperative mothers have all the support needed to start motherhood as healthily as possible. Sometimes I just cry when I think about everything I’ve been through on my own with no support and it breaks my heart us women go through this yet, it’s on us to keep reproducing as if it’s an easy thing to do. No one gets it until they’ve done it and I absolutely understand when women opt out of having children or not having any more. I get it.
I can imagine… My cousins and sister sorta put me off having children by sharing the trauma they went through during child birth and the depression that followed after. I decided if I had kids it would be with a very special and supportive man. I have a chronic pain condition that I now have got on top of. Pregnancy would likely be a huge trigger and send me back into a life of constant pain. My ex desperately wanted children but had the emotional depth of a tea spoon. He saw no issue with me ending up with chronic pain again & giving up my dreams and sense of self to fulfill his fantasy. He ended up having an affair because he felt unloved by me not being as desperate for children as him. I dodged a bullet. I’ve not had many relationships since and haven’t met any men who I felt met the standard in terms of being able to support me emotionally and help me get my physical health back. I grew up with a severely depressed mum who hated being a mother and really would not want to subject children to that. I’m now 40 and kids won’t happen. I’m ok with that.
We used to have this support network it was called the extended family, women once had a pool of female relatives who would come in at theses times and give assistance.
We do NOT need more support for women. What is neede is to stop destroying Men. THAT will solve everything.
This is because the culture has changed. In the 80s when I was a mother, the streets were full of other mothers, we all helped each other.