That works for a short time but once they realize that that button doesn't work when they push it, they begin to try new stuff. They never just stop. They try new more creative ways to get you worked up. It is crazy. I wouldn't believe it of I didn't experience it firsthand.
@kathleenkathleen6381 Жыл бұрын
I've been dealing with this type of situation for a long time now and it's really disheartening to think that this could possibly be never ending ...more so because we share a child 😞 may God continue giving me the strength i need to keep maintaining my ground and persevere 🙏
@Chachis4207 ай бұрын
Yup
@Photosynthesislove6 ай бұрын
It's disgusting! Vomit!
@JF323044 ай бұрын
@@Chachis420is this person your ex? If they are do not engage.
@JF323044 ай бұрын
This strategy has worked for me, but they try new ways to piss the person off.. My mother never gives up creating chaos. It's crazy stuff. Stay strong.
@user-ty8bq8tn5t4 ай бұрын
Your emotions are their supply
@alextomlinson Жыл бұрын
@Rockyworld444 yep. Until you feel deflated and as a result they feel elated. If you stay elated they will hide and sulk and try and minimise your elated mood so it doesn't piss them off further
@alextomlinson Жыл бұрын
Everything is a question? Why are you sad? Why didn't you do what I said? Why don't you listen to me? His "favorite" aunt who he confided in told me he said he "luuuvvvs fuc##in with " you. So I need to remember that all the time but he blocked me again so I'm not sure he'll be back. He's going to school and has new things to do and has met new people and he's not telling me much. He has dropped a few female names but i really think he's full of crap about a lot of what he says. He lies all the time. He constantly tries to get me jealous and knows what buttons to push to get me upset and give him that over the top reaction which he laughs at routinely. He makes fun of me and knows how to hurt me. He told me he doesn't love me so why tf do I still want him. I'm horribly sad and all I want is to be loved😢.I'm lost.
@pamkay17567 ай бұрын
@@pamkay1756 The only question you need to ask yourself is why do you seek love from someone who hates you. These people are not capable of love. It's a waste of time and energy. Can you do this for the rest of your life? At what cost?
@alextomlinson7 ай бұрын
@@pamkay1756 I feel your pain. I'm in a similar situation. Could you cope alone?
@alextomlinson7 ай бұрын
I need help please I married him 90 days ago and he immediately changed all the sweet emails texts and plans for the future stopped and he started bringing up things from 4 years ago. I beg and cry and he "gives me another chance" and in a couple days he does it again usually after he asks for money and I send it
@dlifetime7465 ай бұрын
They humiliate you, shame you, target you, in attempt to control you and get everyone against you. While they accuse you of their traitorous actions and behaviours and traits. Then feed of off your energy to try and exhaust you and exploit you further into your doom. Never let that happen. Anyone who humiliates, shames or belittles you is threatened by your light and doesn’t want to see you succeed.
@Lightboltmotivationofficial5 ай бұрын
Wow! Thank you for your words!!! I thought he/this was DEMONIC! And it is…I keep trying to talk to him about JESUS! He will not do it! Demons they are! Trying to steal my light??? No No! Glory to God! Always
@kimcarter13834 ай бұрын
They are insane
@ameliac5044 ай бұрын
@@ameliac504not to mention.. it's also kinda sad... imagine how they must feel on the inside if this is how they treat people... I more pity them than anything
@barbooood3 ай бұрын
They want an emotional reaction so they can use it against you and further destruct you into experiencing more harm and suffering.
@Lightboltmotivationofficial5 ай бұрын
THIS!!!
@loseweightwithmealplanning4 ай бұрын
It’s true. I remember when I stopped reacting. They literally went crazy and started throwing things at me. They wanted me to be sad and angry.
@aleeshasarr9 ай бұрын
Same here. Banging doors and everything 😂😂😂
@leigh43263 ай бұрын
Like a 2 year old Accurate 😂😂😂
@cocobenji61233 ай бұрын
It took me a long time to learn this, but as soon as I did, I regained my power...my self.
@Dee-Dee49598 ай бұрын
The problem is once you’ve emotionally reacted to them long enough, they’ll keep upping the ante once you stop reacting… I know mine never gave up no matter how long I went without reacting. I knew jack about narcissism when I was with my ex-husband years ago. And I thought it was weird that the healthier I became emotionally the crazier he acted. I came to realize that he wanted fights or tears. And with a cold shoulder he wanted to make me suffer. Absolutely ridiculous that I stayed so long.
@IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS Жыл бұрын
Leaving them and going no contact is what drives them crazy 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
@shirlspark_stardust10 ай бұрын
Hope so.
@HeismyShepard3 ай бұрын
Right. Don’t react whatsoever; walk away and go no contact. Shedding them and all of their toxic mannerisms is the only way. If you run into them, ignore them and walk away.
@salliegallegos918 Жыл бұрын
I never gave him a chance to even go there He told me I act and fight like a man.I told him someone has to be .
@ceecee4552 Жыл бұрын
😂 my Narc accused me of acting just like my mother. I shot back with- that’s because you act just like my father!’😅
@xefirah87534 ай бұрын
When you ignore them and dont react they come after you with hate, they will make your life triple difficult.
@yocomment47075 ай бұрын
The power of indifference or apathy is mandatory when dealing with a NARC!
@sheallwhimsical3738 Жыл бұрын
You have to train your emotions to go emotionally neutral with them: gray rock. It took me about 2 years of incremental gray rocking, very carefully to shut down emotional supply. He finally left.
@ShrewdWifeLife Жыл бұрын
I have actual palm sized gray rocks all over my house.
@arashigumdrop Жыл бұрын
@@arashigumdrop GREAT reminder!
@lillianthomas9861 Жыл бұрын
No second chance for people. One is enough. Don’t save your relationship. Distance or Disregard or Move on ❤
@kalgishah96344 ай бұрын
YOU EXPLAIN THIS SO ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL!!!!!!!.
@janicemurphy4373 Жыл бұрын
The Bible has the Wisdom needed to deal with them....Peace Be Still....God is Peace, and being Silent/Still emotionally.....Narcissist loose.
@jacquelinefroehle5868 Жыл бұрын
Easier said than done. My soon to be ex husband would escalate his behaviour until he GOT the reaction. He got himself hospitalised twice, once for an overdose/suicide attempt, and once because he was "scared for his safety." One time he demanded my money while verbally berating and attacking me. When i calmly gave him the money, he escalated. Continuing to verbally berate me, he went to take my college work computer. This act got the rise he was looking for and he ended up raising his fist to my face and pushing my adult son into the wall, making a hole, when he tried to protect me. I resorted to calling the police because he wouldn't leave. He escalated that shit so hard that i refuse to go back. But staying calm and self-contained only made him worse 😬 its not safe no matter what you do sometimes. Be careful and get out when you can. Stay safe ❤
@elsh3328 ай бұрын
I watched him smirk when he saw me sad when he threatened to leave me. When I stopped reacting he got upset and started accusing me of men. Even when he physically abused me he got offon it. Day #1im free
@sarah_d.o.z. Жыл бұрын
Thank you for this video those person's are full of evil to put others through hell
@maryg85436 ай бұрын
So true. I am looking forward to avoiding my entire Narcissist family this holiday. They will know nothing about me any more.
@shahadah1451 Жыл бұрын
Amen to that!
@kimcarter13834 ай бұрын
They have already destroyed me.
@incognito5954 ай бұрын
You're amazing. My wife has messed with my head for so long that I'm losing myself. Thank you!
@Morpheus20238 ай бұрын
Thank you for reminding me! This is so important. They come to elicit and feed. Cut off the supply and they will go look somewhere else for awhile. But, they will be back to try again and again looking to feed. They are emotional energy vampires.
@thekeys2266 Жыл бұрын
He was laughing at anything I said. I finally saw it and said you are not worth it. Whatever outcome may happen. I am not doing it anymore. He was acting like a child. It was... shocking
@mapleleaf902 Жыл бұрын
Not safe if they are abusive
@MsMookalate Жыл бұрын
Dealing with a NARCISSISTIC PARENT/GUARDIAN has got to be the worst of them all! As a child is most helpless and vulnerable in that case... Prescription: INTENSIVE THERAPY and or SEPARATION!
@aahmonddelite690 Жыл бұрын
What if the child is one though
@tonhan20924 ай бұрын
So awful for children.
@user-ty8bq8tn5t4 ай бұрын
Exactly. When you understand that whatever they say or do is to get an emotional reaction from you, it means when you understand the way they function and operate, and when you understand their game, then and only then you manage to detach, keep your emotions under controll, show total lack of any emotional reaction 🤷 then you show you are in power 🤷👍😉
@luciapompeiano3220 Жыл бұрын
Amen! Thank you
@kimcarter13834 ай бұрын
When I did exately that I was punished by a narcissist with double dose of toxic poison coz he couldn't get any reaction from me so I don't think it always works They want your undivided attention and patience giving narcissistic abuse in return They want to make you feel vulnerable and down,having a low self esteem most of the time and ridicule you after that for being miserable or not enjoying your life They full of contradictions and it's all about winning with them but in the end they're the ones who are loosers !
@robertzalewski7607 Жыл бұрын
The ex was criticizing me saying I didn’t have humor, that I was always criticizing everyone, giving unwanted advice to my friend etc… So in May he ghosts me for 8 days.. 15 days prior to our wedding. He comes back and we talked it out… bla bla bla.. The last weekend of May I was outside and he comes over and starts criticizing his mother and I looked at him.., kept looking at him wondering if he would notice the look that said “who is criticizing now”.. so I said “I am not saying anything “.. looked at him deep in his eyes…the look on his face was priceless. I said “you hate me don’t you”… I laughed and turned around and left him standing. On Tuesday he started a fight… big drama, he walked out and didn’t come back. Two months later I moved away and disappeared out of his life., I haven’t seen or heard of him. He doesn’t know where I live. It didn’t even hurt., The smear campaign… I grew so strong it did nothing to me but that’s only bc I saw the red flags from a previous relationship coming out and I knew what I had to do
@jesterstears7578 Жыл бұрын
You are awesome, thank you for validating all the hell I went through.
@NarcissistsAreDemonsFromHell Жыл бұрын
This guy is wonderful to listen to. It has helped me to understand and deal with my narcissist sister. I have cut her off bout 6 times already and it makes me feel so free. . .
@corinarivera8961 Жыл бұрын
Once you interract with narc, in his head he has power after you no matter what, even if you walk away he will continue to interract with you ( snapshot of you in his head) without your presence needed. Realising that is important to start healing. And we have a word to describe this ( take your peace back) addmit you lost in a game you cant access, take your peace back and let the poisoned peace to the narc(cut the loss). This is half victory and the only victory you can have at that point.
@asdwasd5823 Жыл бұрын
Just leave them . Why alter a good person to adapt when u can leave then in evil and misery
@marthamartin119 Жыл бұрын
Your reaction is what keeps them going! That is why they do what they do.
@susanparker9877 Жыл бұрын
I believe who ever is suffering from the hands of a narcissist needs to he very careful about this. Once you stop reacting to their abuse and they realise it they will find other way and sometimes they even become more dangerous. My ex assaulted me with a knife the moment he realised i stopped reacting to his attacks. Be very careful
@TS-iq2rg4 ай бұрын
It’s so hard they know exactly how to get you
@SpongeAddict-gw6mo7 ай бұрын
When you consciously stop reacting, you will actually see their mask falling off.
@kathysanchez5945 Жыл бұрын
Ive done this and its amazing to see
@africacarey8 ай бұрын
Shutting off my Empath valve. Got it in my brain now doing it
@bonnieromick93974 ай бұрын
Stone walling 💯 it works I did it and I am 3 plus years Narc free and thriving than ever before 😊
@AK03705 Жыл бұрын
Very similar to women with borderline personality disorder. They’re always taking note of what upsets you and they are holding that information for future use. Most of the time it’s only spent studying your reactions and making notes of them to use against you in the future
@frequencypaint1858 Жыл бұрын
My narc ex was raised by a mother with BPD. He and his 6 yr old daughter now live with her. I wonder how his daughter will turn out but I'm not stupid enough to think I can fix that train wreck. The NPD behavior you describe is spot on.
@Judygurl33 ай бұрын
Thank you Danish. Yapping is a problem. Trauma can make it difficult to stop. I do yoga now and it helps. Just a little bit. The impulse to talk has been greatly reduced. It's worth it. We just can't sit and listen, we must do. Wonderful podcast.
@lindarosebuchanan1650 Жыл бұрын
This is absolutely true I just tried this the other day and showed no emotion and ignored him. This fool went crazy for hours, screaming to get my attention pushing the bed and grabbing the pillows. I found the secret Kryptonite
@ayishaablake43974 ай бұрын
I don't know if I am Replying the right way here..My sister the narc lost her sanity the other day. It was beyond shocking to me and went on for quite a while. Oh God, it was so awful. But then, she never had "sanity" to begin with, did she? I am thinking she might not know there is something very seriously wrong with her. She was Raving and Screaming, like you see maybe in movies or on TV. This went went on for quite a while. I just sat there in shock. (This was on the phone). I am really afraid of her now. I couldn't bear enduring that again. I am all alone here, which makes this even more scary. I may again have to delete this Comment, too. I did that before...
@incognito5954 ай бұрын
I stopped reacting and it got worse. Not sure what to do
@-Ray_Moon-9 ай бұрын
If you start reacting again it will not improve.
@Judygurl33 ай бұрын
I prefer to terrify narcissists. They always flee, and I save precious weeks or months that they'll spend trying to tear down my passive resistance.
@gavingleemonex3898 Жыл бұрын
Very true. Learn to detach yourself emotionally. It works. 👍🕊️
@jenniferyates81004 ай бұрын
I seriously need counseling for narc abuse. I can't believe how much they have destroyed me...
@incognito5954 ай бұрын
I've decide that being stoical is my best way of navigating through. It's so hard because I've isolated myself after reacting very badly to their insideous ways
@thinkingallowed1st5 ай бұрын
Good advice I myself experienced abuse from my ex narc she expected me to come out of my frame, I remained calm asked her to sit down & talk about it, I then experienced narcissistic rage as a result.
@Cosmic_Ascension Жыл бұрын
They will sit like puppets if you don't respond zero. It will take time but if you master this technique they can't get anything from you and become zero
@rajeevkaul88254 ай бұрын
The day before yesterday, I actually did this, and he threw a fit, because he couldn't make me angry or cry!
@kikikoko6074 ай бұрын
I learned to do this within my toxic family. Avoidant Attachment Style was a necessary protection I used at home. I am glad I was able to use this judiciously and didn’t develop the full disorder version.
@xefirah87534 ай бұрын
They try to push your buttons but If you don't react they become zero. Difficult but with experience and knowledge it becomes easy
@rajeevkaul88254 ай бұрын
Once you stop reacting they punish you in other ways.. silent treatments.. it kills your soul
@ruthrose10004 ай бұрын
Agreed and they’re too weak to stay around. They have to look at for it somewhere else.
@darknessfierce42093 ай бұрын
Oh man. To hear someone speak my truth..
@GretchenAmyReilly7 ай бұрын
You're describing word to word how my sister and aunt are as a tag team. It's so weird!
@tea-chip-cookies Жыл бұрын
Your words are so reassuring. Especially after what I've been through
@Samuraistar923 ай бұрын
Thank you Danish. I found answer after living many years with a narcissistic spouse. None of my 2 previous psychologist could pin him down as a narcissist.all peices of puzzles have fallen into their places.
@nadiaaman89553 ай бұрын
Unfortunately reigning curses to a narc makes me feel better
@Adribloom Жыл бұрын
Yeah... it's up to us to control, that's why they seem to pick people with low emotional regulation like with add, me... I swear, this is really hard, but I've been winning a few.
@PoisonCdr Жыл бұрын
it gets easier with time and practise. I pray and ask God to help me. he'll help me in the moment - 'don't answer, don't say anything'. I still get it wrong but nowhere near as often. make sure you have some kind of outlet though or it'll get bottled up inside. I'm sorry you have to go through this 💕💕
@katyb27936 ай бұрын
Yes, it is difficult, but only way is to come to a place where you are confident that your reality, your thoughts, and your feelings are independent of them. When they deny reality, it’s still reality and you shouldn’t question yourself. That’s only way to overcome the gaslighting. Distance, distance, distance… there’s no possibility of true intimacy in a narcissistic relationship… opening up to a narcissist is like when the frog let the scorpion on his back. It will sting you every time because that’s what they do. When I stopped reacting, my husband’s rages just got worse, like he was trying so much harder to get a reaction.
@yvonnes74129 ай бұрын
I asked my mother if she was waiting for a show... and she was, just wanting a show from my pain no empathy. Dont react just walk away and meditate you are not a real person to them just a puppet show.Enjoy walking away
@cruella55214 ай бұрын
Hide your true feelings,and reactions when dealing with those people.
@teresarasnick5473 ай бұрын
Don't exactly want him to lose his mind, he might try to kill me.
@OffTheWagons Жыл бұрын
I've been dealing with a narcissist mom for 41 years...I'm glad I finally escape
@eugenemairom18873 ай бұрын
True I have one that trys every thing she can do to destroy me I'm learning to control myself and not react 💯
@jacalyntaylor6721 Жыл бұрын
I also have a sister I'm dealing with who is trying to destroy me, so it's nice to know I'm not alone in this craziness.
@corinarivera8961 Жыл бұрын
How? I go from 0 to 100 instantly
@brendalg48 ай бұрын
One day I decided to wear ear buds to tune my mom out. She came in the room and took the bus out just because she wasn’t getting supply. She was used to marking me react with her craziness. It’s scared the shit out of me.
@briand3420 Жыл бұрын
Their demons are irritated by our light
@PsalmsForTheLoveOfJesus193 ай бұрын
BINGO! I never heard this said before. Exactly what I did have done last 2 years. I have better life I am still with him we are not married but I choose to stay for now.
@josieflores8320 Жыл бұрын
I just got tired of trying to make a point that fell upon deaf ears so I just stopped talking altogether.
@jessicadrake6523 ай бұрын
I just did this very same thing
@jessicadrake6523 ай бұрын
Már èn is belefáradtam a beszèdbe,elhallgattam inkább,nincs èrtelme a beszèdnek.
@saban22913 ай бұрын
This is what I done today ignored the emotional abuse even when I was told to s××t my wrists and that our son hates me. I know this is his way of trying to manipulate our child and he didn't get the reaction he wanted. I also listened to your advice and documented conversation. Thank you Danish.
@nat_45754 ай бұрын
She never had power over me this why she would go crazy screaming an yelling
@homelandfreedom3 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for clarifying this! A month ago, not even long ago I broke up with my narcissist partner, he is harassing me still and won't stop. Everyhting you said in this video is 1000% accurate. He calls me the most vile disgusting names now that we've broken up it's even worse. He's obsessed with the thought of cheating which he accuses me of 24/7. Within the past week or two I had thankfully came to terms and really opened my eyes . Just as you said! When you stop taking their insults personal and realise it's not you it makes a whole difference. I blamed myself for so long and now I realise that I was right and it's not me who is the bad person. A month of two I didn't feel this way but I am so grateful for waking up however now he is spamming me (186 unread messages ,60+ missed calls and insult after insult. He is losing his mind!!!
@tamiera_sxox5 ай бұрын
Stay strong! Eventually he'll find a new victim.
@Judygurl33 ай бұрын
@@Judygurl3 Definitely been trying, though it gets tough every now and again 😌❤ Thank you very much hun, I do appreciate that, that's very kind of you to say❤ I'd definitely hope that he doesn't put someone else through it, the worst cause to a migraine as well🙄 but sadly it's a high chance 😔 Hope you are keeping safe, healthy & well anyhow hun ❤ ❤
@tamiera_sxox3 ай бұрын
It's their fuel. Good Lord that's disgusting!
@JF323044 ай бұрын
So true but so much easier than done when they push and push… one person can only take so much
@psychzone494 Жыл бұрын
Yes, like a kid who gets told no when they ask for candy.
@IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS Жыл бұрын
Think of it as a boomerang coming back to them, if you don't react.
@loekiekanters42959 ай бұрын
@@loekiekanters4295love this statement
@kimcarter13834 ай бұрын
For the last 4-6 weeks I've been gray rocking him? Takes practice! 100% zombie from me. Today he's hinted he's moving out. It was all i could do not to cartwheel through the living room 🤸🏼♂️🤸♀️ Texted my girlfriend from the bathroom... IT WORKED! I may not have to sell my house to get rid of him!!!!
@patriciatoomingtheplantpar2558 Жыл бұрын
It was all I could do in the car real through the living room… hilarious!!!😅
@kimcarter13834 ай бұрын
It was all I could do to NOT cartwheel thru the house! HILARIOUS!!! 🤣🤣🤣
@kimcarter13834 ай бұрын
Good luck!!!
@Judygurl33 ай бұрын
I didn't realize it at the time!! I did all of that there at the end!!
@mercedezdeleon91394 ай бұрын
His mom said that all the time. She knew before I even came around. She said he don’t listen to me and I’m his mommy. Basically saying so who tf are you❤ she said either buckle down and put on your big girl panties or walk away. She said that’s why she left his father. God rest his soul.
@kimberlymcneal8195 Жыл бұрын
It is very difficult to live with them i have lived for 32 years at last he died
@madhumathiv85984 ай бұрын
Ok but how do i stop reacting… i CANT just shut off my emotions. WHAT NOW 😮💨
@mikasame4 ай бұрын
Best way is to leave and stay away. Including mentally. It's the easiest (often not easy!) and definitely the most effective. They will do whatever needed to keep you interacting. Quit.
@jeankipper69543 ай бұрын
Once I stopped emotionally reacting, he became physically abusive. I have lived in a shelter once and he has been to jail recently. He is currently in a batterer intervention program and living away from home. I worry he is manipulating his way through the program to fulfill the terms of his bond. I have an escape plan for if he hasn’t changed when he comes home this summer…
@GloryyyyyyyyАй бұрын
When I stop reacting to my narc MIL she took all control over my hus
@abishaiyan16283 ай бұрын
Thank you for the reminder. Sometimes I have let the situation control me. A month later I will see what supply they were after. And I once again ALLOWED IT!!! I can do this. ❤
@Lesl68 Жыл бұрын
It's really difficult
@amyk9126 Жыл бұрын
I've learned NOT TO CRY.... SUPPLY ENDED...
@jananabanana31804 ай бұрын
I had this ex narc keep preaching about wanting peace and quiet (while telling my I was the agent of the chaos for reacting to their lies, inconsistency and manipulation) and then proceed to push every single button in order to disturb the very peace and quiet they were asking for.
@sayvanity5 ай бұрын
❤ I might put one disclaimer on that comment to "stop making comments". I do respond, but not emotionally. I also respond in writing with logic and evidence of their lies and manipulation to EXPOSE them and then I copy a whole lot of people with my response. A narcissist hates being exposed.
@JohnSmith-zo6ir4 ай бұрын
A ballbat works pretty well also
@stevenhuckaby2902 Жыл бұрын
It is their Fuel ⛽️
@amyshoneye54553 ай бұрын
I feel we need like an example
@twigityful7 ай бұрын
Fact's.
@Nicolecooper961 Жыл бұрын
Not only narcissists… manipulators
@sunnyforester3474 Жыл бұрын
I read a statement you made about grieving a living person is more complicated than grieving a deceased one. Someone moving on from their own delusional relationship could never compare to losing a loved one. This is simply a disgusting statement!
@believer2388 Жыл бұрын
I can to some agree understand why he said that, because such a relationship is traumatic. Every trauma is super hard to deal with. Grieving a deceased person differs from person to person. Generally speaking, one grieves a deceased person in approximately 2 to 3 months. Dealing with a trauma can go on for years and years.
@nabilc1667 Жыл бұрын
Insensitive to those suffering from complex grief perhaps, but disgusting I think is a little bit much and not quite fair. Although I understand why you would feel that way as someone who is dealing with complex grief after the death of my partner last year close to a year after ending a horrible relationship with a narcissistic psychopath.
@TheSevonne Жыл бұрын
Complicated grief. 🙏🕊️
@jenniferyates81004 ай бұрын
No contact for 4 months now. One unfortunate, but pleasant, brush with his new supply who couldn't have known me. I kept close my emotions. He can't have known. I don't feel like I have won. I crashed and burned but he doesn't know. He has a single proprietor business with a revolving door of women all day. He is a beautiful man. And, oh so charming. Somehow I'm off target here.
That works for a short time but once they realize that that button doesn't work when they push it, they begin to try new stuff. They never just stop. They try new more creative ways to get you worked up. It is crazy. I wouldn't believe it of I didn't experience it firsthand.
I've been dealing with this type of situation for a long time now and it's really disheartening to think that this could possibly be never ending ...more so because we share a child 😞 may God continue giving me the strength i need to keep maintaining my ground and persevere 🙏
Yup
It's disgusting! Vomit!
@@Chachis420is this person your ex? If they are do not engage.
This strategy has worked for me, but they try new ways to piss the person off.. My mother never gives up creating chaos. It's crazy stuff. Stay strong.
Your emotions are their supply
@Rockyworld444 yep. Until you feel deflated and as a result they feel elated. If you stay elated they will hide and sulk and try and minimise your elated mood so it doesn't piss them off further
Everything is a question? Why are you sad? Why didn't you do what I said? Why don't you listen to me? His "favorite" aunt who he confided in told me he said he "luuuvvvs fuc##in with " you. So I need to remember that all the time but he blocked me again so I'm not sure he'll be back. He's going to school and has new things to do and has met new people and he's not telling me much. He has dropped a few female names but i really think he's full of crap about a lot of what he says. He lies all the time. He constantly tries to get me jealous and knows what buttons to push to get me upset and give him that over the top reaction which he laughs at routinely. He makes fun of me and knows how to hurt me. He told me he doesn't love me so why tf do I still want him. I'm horribly sad and all I want is to be loved😢.I'm lost.
@@pamkay1756 The only question you need to ask yourself is why do you seek love from someone who hates you. These people are not capable of love. It's a waste of time and energy. Can you do this for the rest of your life? At what cost?
@@pamkay1756 I feel your pain. I'm in a similar situation. Could you cope alone?
I need help please I married him 90 days ago and he immediately changed all the sweet emails texts and plans for the future stopped and he started bringing up things from 4 years ago. I beg and cry and he "gives me another chance" and in a couple days he does it again usually after he asks for money and I send it
They humiliate you, shame you, target you, in attempt to control you and get everyone against you. While they accuse you of their traitorous actions and behaviours and traits. Then feed of off your energy to try and exhaust you and exploit you further into your doom. Never let that happen. Anyone who humiliates, shames or belittles you is threatened by your light and doesn’t want to see you succeed.
Wow! Thank you for your words!!! I thought he/this was DEMONIC! And it is…I keep trying to talk to him about JESUS! He will not do it! Demons they are! Trying to steal my light??? No No! Glory to God! Always
They are insane
@@ameliac504not to mention.. it's also kinda sad... imagine how they must feel on the inside if this is how they treat people... I more pity them than anything
They want an emotional reaction so they can use it against you and further destruct you into experiencing more harm and suffering.
THIS!!!
It’s true. I remember when I stopped reacting. They literally went crazy and started throwing things at me. They wanted me to be sad and angry.
Same here. Banging doors and everything 😂😂😂
Like a 2 year old Accurate 😂😂😂
It took me a long time to learn this, but as soon as I did, I regained my power...my self.
The problem is once you’ve emotionally reacted to them long enough, they’ll keep upping the ante once you stop reacting… I know mine never gave up no matter how long I went without reacting. I knew jack about narcissism when I was with my ex-husband years ago. And I thought it was weird that the healthier I became emotionally the crazier he acted. I came to realize that he wanted fights or tears. And with a cold shoulder he wanted to make me suffer. Absolutely ridiculous that I stayed so long.
Leaving them and going no contact is what drives them crazy 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Hope so.
Right. Don’t react whatsoever; walk away and go no contact. Shedding them and all of their toxic mannerisms is the only way. If you run into them, ignore them and walk away.
I never gave him a chance to even go there He told me I act and fight like a man.I told him someone has to be .
😂 my Narc accused me of acting just like my mother. I shot back with- that’s because you act just like my father!’😅
When you ignore them and dont react they come after you with hate, they will make your life triple difficult.
The power of indifference or apathy is mandatory when dealing with a NARC!
You have to train your emotions to go emotionally neutral with them: gray rock. It took me about 2 years of incremental gray rocking, very carefully to shut down emotional supply. He finally left.
I have actual palm sized gray rocks all over my house.
@@arashigumdrop GREAT reminder!
No second chance for people. One is enough. Don’t save your relationship. Distance or Disregard or Move on ❤
YOU EXPLAIN THIS SO ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL!!!!!!!.
The Bible has the Wisdom needed to deal with them....Peace Be Still....God is Peace, and being Silent/Still emotionally.....Narcissist loose.
Easier said than done. My soon to be ex husband would escalate his behaviour until he GOT the reaction. He got himself hospitalised twice, once for an overdose/suicide attempt, and once because he was "scared for his safety." One time he demanded my money while verbally berating and attacking me. When i calmly gave him the money, he escalated. Continuing to verbally berate me, he went to take my college work computer. This act got the rise he was looking for and he ended up raising his fist to my face and pushing my adult son into the wall, making a hole, when he tried to protect me. I resorted to calling the police because he wouldn't leave. He escalated that shit so hard that i refuse to go back. But staying calm and self-contained only made him worse 😬 its not safe no matter what you do sometimes. Be careful and get out when you can. Stay safe ❤
I watched him smirk when he saw me sad when he threatened to leave me. When I stopped reacting he got upset and started accusing me of men. Even when he physically abused me he got offon it. Day #1im free
Thank you for this video those person's are full of evil to put others through hell
So true. I am looking forward to avoiding my entire Narcissist family this holiday. They will know nothing about me any more.
Amen to that!
They have already destroyed me.
You're amazing. My wife has messed with my head for so long that I'm losing myself. Thank you!
Thank you for reminding me! This is so important. They come to elicit and feed. Cut off the supply and they will go look somewhere else for awhile. But, they will be back to try again and again looking to feed. They are emotional energy vampires.
He was laughing at anything I said. I finally saw it and said you are not worth it. Whatever outcome may happen. I am not doing it anymore. He was acting like a child. It was... shocking
Not safe if they are abusive
Dealing with a NARCISSISTIC PARENT/GUARDIAN has got to be the worst of them all! As a child is most helpless and vulnerable in that case... Prescription: INTENSIVE THERAPY and or SEPARATION!
What if the child is one though
So awful for children.
Exactly. When you understand that whatever they say or do is to get an emotional reaction from you, it means when you understand the way they function and operate, and when you understand their game, then and only then you manage to detach, keep your emotions under controll, show total lack of any emotional reaction 🤷 then you show you are in power 🤷👍😉
Amen! Thank you
When I did exately that I was punished by a narcissist with double dose of toxic poison coz he couldn't get any reaction from me so I don't think it always works They want your undivided attention and patience giving narcissistic abuse in return They want to make you feel vulnerable and down,having a low self esteem most of the time and ridicule you after that for being miserable or not enjoying your life They full of contradictions and it's all about winning with them but in the end they're the ones who are loosers !
The ex was criticizing me saying I didn’t have humor, that I was always criticizing everyone, giving unwanted advice to my friend etc… So in May he ghosts me for 8 days.. 15 days prior to our wedding. He comes back and we talked it out… bla bla bla.. The last weekend of May I was outside and he comes over and starts criticizing his mother and I looked at him.., kept looking at him wondering if he would notice the look that said “who is criticizing now”.. so I said “I am not saying anything “.. looked at him deep in his eyes…the look on his face was priceless. I said “you hate me don’t you”… I laughed and turned around and left him standing. On Tuesday he started a fight… big drama, he walked out and didn’t come back. Two months later I moved away and disappeared out of his life., I haven’t seen or heard of him. He doesn’t know where I live. It didn’t even hurt., The smear campaign… I grew so strong it did nothing to me but that’s only bc I saw the red flags from a previous relationship coming out and I knew what I had to do
You are awesome, thank you for validating all the hell I went through.
This guy is wonderful to listen to. It has helped me to understand and deal with my narcissist sister. I have cut her off bout 6 times already and it makes me feel so free. . .
Once you interract with narc, in his head he has power after you no matter what, even if you walk away he will continue to interract with you ( snapshot of you in his head) without your presence needed. Realising that is important to start healing. And we have a word to describe this ( take your peace back) addmit you lost in a game you cant access, take your peace back and let the poisoned peace to the narc(cut the loss). This is half victory and the only victory you can have at that point.
Just leave them . Why alter a good person to adapt when u can leave then in evil and misery
Your reaction is what keeps them going! That is why they do what they do.
I believe who ever is suffering from the hands of a narcissist needs to he very careful about this. Once you stop reacting to their abuse and they realise it they will find other way and sometimes they even become more dangerous. My ex assaulted me with a knife the moment he realised i stopped reacting to his attacks. Be very careful
It’s so hard they know exactly how to get you
When you consciously stop reacting, you will actually see their mask falling off.
Ive done this and its amazing to see
Shutting off my Empath valve. Got it in my brain now doing it
Stone walling 💯 it works I did it and I am 3 plus years Narc free and thriving than ever before 😊
Very similar to women with borderline personality disorder. They’re always taking note of what upsets you and they are holding that information for future use. Most of the time it’s only spent studying your reactions and making notes of them to use against you in the future
My narc ex was raised by a mother with BPD. He and his 6 yr old daughter now live with her. I wonder how his daughter will turn out but I'm not stupid enough to think I can fix that train wreck. The NPD behavior you describe is spot on.
Thank you Danish. Yapping is a problem. Trauma can make it difficult to stop. I do yoga now and it helps. Just a little bit. The impulse to talk has been greatly reduced. It's worth it. We just can't sit and listen, we must do. Wonderful podcast.
This is absolutely true I just tried this the other day and showed no emotion and ignored him. This fool went crazy for hours, screaming to get my attention pushing the bed and grabbing the pillows. I found the secret Kryptonite
I don't know if I am Replying the right way here..My sister the narc lost her sanity the other day. It was beyond shocking to me and went on for quite a while. Oh God, it was so awful. But then, she never had "sanity" to begin with, did she? I am thinking she might not know there is something very seriously wrong with her. She was Raving and Screaming, like you see maybe in movies or on TV. This went went on for quite a while. I just sat there in shock. (This was on the phone). I am really afraid of her now. I couldn't bear enduring that again. I am all alone here, which makes this even more scary. I may again have to delete this Comment, too. I did that before...
I stopped reacting and it got worse. Not sure what to do
If you start reacting again it will not improve.
I prefer to terrify narcissists. They always flee, and I save precious weeks or months that they'll spend trying to tear down my passive resistance.
Very true. Learn to detach yourself emotionally. It works. 👍🕊️
I seriously need counseling for narc abuse. I can't believe how much they have destroyed me...
I've decide that being stoical is my best way of navigating through. It's so hard because I've isolated myself after reacting very badly to their insideous ways
Good advice I myself experienced abuse from my ex narc she expected me to come out of my frame, I remained calm asked her to sit down & talk about it, I then experienced narcissistic rage as a result.
They will sit like puppets if you don't respond zero. It will take time but if you master this technique they can't get anything from you and become zero
The day before yesterday, I actually did this, and he threw a fit, because he couldn't make me angry or cry!
I learned to do this within my toxic family. Avoidant Attachment Style was a necessary protection I used at home. I am glad I was able to use this judiciously and didn’t develop the full disorder version.
They try to push your buttons but If you don't react they become zero. Difficult but with experience and knowledge it becomes easy
Once you stop reacting they punish you in other ways.. silent treatments.. it kills your soul
Agreed and they’re too weak to stay around. They have to look at for it somewhere else.
Oh man. To hear someone speak my truth..
You're describing word to word how my sister and aunt are as a tag team. It's so weird!
Your words are so reassuring. Especially after what I've been through
Thank you Danish. I found answer after living many years with a narcissistic spouse. None of my 2 previous psychologist could pin him down as a narcissist.all peices of puzzles have fallen into their places.
Unfortunately reigning curses to a narc makes me feel better
Yeah... it's up to us to control, that's why they seem to pick people with low emotional regulation like with add, me... I swear, this is really hard, but I've been winning a few.
it gets easier with time and practise. I pray and ask God to help me. he'll help me in the moment - 'don't answer, don't say anything'. I still get it wrong but nowhere near as often. make sure you have some kind of outlet though or it'll get bottled up inside. I'm sorry you have to go through this 💕💕
Yes, it is difficult, but only way is to come to a place where you are confident that your reality, your thoughts, and your feelings are independent of them. When they deny reality, it’s still reality and you shouldn’t question yourself. That’s only way to overcome the gaslighting. Distance, distance, distance… there’s no possibility of true intimacy in a narcissistic relationship… opening up to a narcissist is like when the frog let the scorpion on his back. It will sting you every time because that’s what they do. When I stopped reacting, my husband’s rages just got worse, like he was trying so much harder to get a reaction.
I asked my mother if she was waiting for a show... and she was, just wanting a show from my pain no empathy. Dont react just walk away and meditate you are not a real person to them just a puppet show.Enjoy walking away
Hide your true feelings,and reactions when dealing with those people.
Don't exactly want him to lose his mind, he might try to kill me.
I've been dealing with a narcissist mom for 41 years...I'm glad I finally escape
True I have one that trys every thing she can do to destroy me I'm learning to control myself and not react 💯
I also have a sister I'm dealing with who is trying to destroy me, so it's nice to know I'm not alone in this craziness.
How? I go from 0 to 100 instantly
One day I decided to wear ear buds to tune my mom out. She came in the room and took the bus out just because she wasn’t getting supply. She was used to marking me react with her craziness. It’s scared the shit out of me.
Their demons are irritated by our light
BINGO! I never heard this said before. Exactly what I did have done last 2 years. I have better life I am still with him we are not married but I choose to stay for now.
I just got tired of trying to make a point that fell upon deaf ears so I just stopped talking altogether.
I just did this very same thing
Már èn is belefáradtam a beszèdbe,elhallgattam inkább,nincs èrtelme a beszèdnek.
This is what I done today ignored the emotional abuse even when I was told to s××t my wrists and that our son hates me. I know this is his way of trying to manipulate our child and he didn't get the reaction he wanted. I also listened to your advice and documented conversation. Thank you Danish.
She never had power over me this why she would go crazy screaming an yelling
Thank you so much for clarifying this! A month ago, not even long ago I broke up with my narcissist partner, he is harassing me still and won't stop. Everyhting you said in this video is 1000% accurate. He calls me the most vile disgusting names now that we've broken up it's even worse. He's obsessed with the thought of cheating which he accuses me of 24/7. Within the past week or two I had thankfully came to terms and really opened my eyes . Just as you said! When you stop taking their insults personal and realise it's not you it makes a whole difference. I blamed myself for so long and now I realise that I was right and it's not me who is the bad person. A month of two I didn't feel this way but I am so grateful for waking up however now he is spamming me (186 unread messages ,60+ missed calls and insult after insult. He is losing his mind!!!
Stay strong! Eventually he'll find a new victim.
@@Judygurl3 Definitely been trying, though it gets tough every now and again 😌❤ Thank you very much hun, I do appreciate that, that's very kind of you to say❤ I'd definitely hope that he doesn't put someone else through it, the worst cause to a migraine as well🙄 but sadly it's a high chance 😔 Hope you are keeping safe, healthy & well anyhow hun ❤ ❤
It's their fuel. Good Lord that's disgusting!
So true but so much easier than done when they push and push… one person can only take so much
Yes, like a kid who gets told no when they ask for candy.
Think of it as a boomerang coming back to them, if you don't react.
@@loekiekanters4295love this statement
For the last 4-6 weeks I've been gray rocking him? Takes practice! 100% zombie from me. Today he's hinted he's moving out. It was all i could do not to cartwheel through the living room 🤸🏼♂️🤸♀️ Texted my girlfriend from the bathroom... IT WORKED! I may not have to sell my house to get rid of him!!!!
It was all I could do in the car real through the living room… hilarious!!!😅
It was all I could do to NOT cartwheel thru the house! HILARIOUS!!! 🤣🤣🤣
Good luck!!!
I didn't realize it at the time!! I did all of that there at the end!!
His mom said that all the time. She knew before I even came around. She said he don’t listen to me and I’m his mommy. Basically saying so who tf are you❤ she said either buckle down and put on your big girl panties or walk away. She said that’s why she left his father. God rest his soul.
It is very difficult to live with them i have lived for 32 years at last he died
Ok but how do i stop reacting… i CANT just shut off my emotions. WHAT NOW 😮💨
Best way is to leave and stay away. Including mentally. It's the easiest (often not easy!) and definitely the most effective. They will do whatever needed to keep you interacting. Quit.
Once I stopped emotionally reacting, he became physically abusive. I have lived in a shelter once and he has been to jail recently. He is currently in a batterer intervention program and living away from home. I worry he is manipulating his way through the program to fulfill the terms of his bond. I have an escape plan for if he hasn’t changed when he comes home this summer…
When I stop reacting to my narc MIL she took all control over my hus
Thank you for the reminder. Sometimes I have let the situation control me. A month later I will see what supply they were after. And I once again ALLOWED IT!!! I can do this. ❤
It's really difficult
I've learned NOT TO CRY.... SUPPLY ENDED...
I had this ex narc keep preaching about wanting peace and quiet (while telling my I was the agent of the chaos for reacting to their lies, inconsistency and manipulation) and then proceed to push every single button in order to disturb the very peace and quiet they were asking for.
❤ I might put one disclaimer on that comment to "stop making comments". I do respond, but not emotionally. I also respond in writing with logic and evidence of their lies and manipulation to EXPOSE them and then I copy a whole lot of people with my response. A narcissist hates being exposed.
A ballbat works pretty well also
It is their Fuel ⛽️
I feel we need like an example
Fact's.
Not only narcissists… manipulators
I read a statement you made about grieving a living person is more complicated than grieving a deceased one. Someone moving on from their own delusional relationship could never compare to losing a loved one. This is simply a disgusting statement!
I can to some agree understand why he said that, because such a relationship is traumatic. Every trauma is super hard to deal with. Grieving a deceased person differs from person to person. Generally speaking, one grieves a deceased person in approximately 2 to 3 months. Dealing with a trauma can go on for years and years.
Insensitive to those suffering from complex grief perhaps, but disgusting I think is a little bit much and not quite fair. Although I understand why you would feel that way as someone who is dealing with complex grief after the death of my partner last year close to a year after ending a horrible relationship with a narcissistic psychopath.
Complicated grief. 🙏🕊️
No contact for 4 months now. One unfortunate, but pleasant, brush with his new supply who couldn't have known me. I kept close my emotions. He can't have known. I don't feel like I have won. I crashed and burned but he doesn't know. He has a single proprietor business with a revolving door of women all day. He is a beautiful man. And, oh so charming. Somehow I'm off target here.
When YOU are ready move on...Not backwards...😉
Thank you for your advice. I have to work on it
Turn your volume up, please.
Im coming to terms with this statement.
They must hate the song " sound of silence " 😂😂😂
Thank you so much ❤ Happy New Year 🎇🥂
Yep...That's it.
Modern day vampires