What I Would Have Done Differently (Moving Abroad As A Brit)
Moving country is simultaneoulsy exciting and nerve wracking. In this Video I share some of the things which I would have done differently and also some things which I think I did well and wouldn't change. This is not technical guide on how to move country but just a few personal reflections on what I see as some important points.
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About Me:
I am a Brit (from England) who lives in Germany. After completing University in the UK I moved to China where I taught English for two years. I’ve learned a thing or two about cultural integration, language learning and everything else that goes with upping sticks and moving to a foreign country. I make videos about cultural, language and life and tend to pose a lot of questions. Join me on my exploration of life abroad.
#movingabroad #livingabroad #culturaldifferences
Morning all. What are some of your takeaways from moving?
I think, it's more difficult on what things to leave behind or to get rid of. There are often so many memories attached to items. An emotional value. To move abroad you really need to learn how to cope with these emotions. Taking photos maybe. Give things in good hands, etc.
German saying: "Dreimal umziehen ist wie einmal abgebrannt". It's a great opportunity to get rid off a lot of clutter.
Experience and learning about shortcuts.
I moved from England to Germany years ago, and I agree with everything you've mentioned here. I think the main thing that surprised me when renting a flat (in Leipzig) was most of them not having a kitchen, or even light bulbs! This is a significant additional expense, also when trying to move your kitchen into another flat and getting it refitted. If someone's planning to rent a flat only for a year or two, I'd recommend looking for an apartment with a fitted kitchen (EBK).
Definitely. That’s something I decided early on as well. I reduced my search to only apartments with EBK. I just wasn’t interested in shelling out 5-10K when I might want to move in a couple of years time.
@@britingermanylots of people sell their kitchens for peanuts or just give them away but it’s just the whole hassle of it that’s the problem.
I've lived in Germany now for almost 7 years. I found it difficult in the beginning because the people didn't speak how I had learned German in school/duolingo/memrise, and local Platt was definitely another language. Ego is definitely an important point because I found once i didn't care about making mistakes while talking that I could absorb the language and communicate better as I had people around me who would correct me on my mistakes. My struggle now is that I find it hard to connect with my home country and when I visit home I feel detached from my hometown and friends which leaves me in a Zwischenstand as a foreigner in both my home country and Germany simultaneously.
I can certainly relate to that. I think going back regularly (a couple of times per year) can really help with keep the connection if that’s what you want to do
Yes, I recently visited friends and family in UK and it was it was shocking to see in how many ways life is getting more difficult than it was when I left. I think I would find it difficult to cope with living there now.
@@Phiyedough You sound like many of the "10-pound Poms" who came to Oz after the war. Some complained about the different circumstances until they could ship them and their dependents "back home" but then discovered that "back home" was not what they remembered or wanted and re-emigrated back again. I have a good mate (of Dutch extraction) whose family followed this path. 😊
Man these videos just cant disappoint. Great b-roll and editing. Great music choice, not to little, not too much. And the narration is spot on, calm and collected. And very informative. Nobody is truly ever objective of course, but the script seems to be written without a lot of frustration or personal bias, either towards the UK or Germany.
Thanks a lot. I appreciate it 🙏
I have lived outside UK for over 20 years now, (NL, Belgium, Germany, Portugal) and my only regret is not learning the languages to a high enough standard )I 'get by' in six languages). I could get by fine and tended to have non-British friends and colleagues but we always ended up talking in English. Reasons? British laziness regarding other languages when English is the lingua franca plus my age; I moved out of UK at age 51 and found that the older I got the more difficult it was to learn a language. I still wish I'd tried harder!
Maybe you spread yourself too thin. 6 languages is a lot! I’m sure if you focused on one you got get it up to a higher standard. But you’re right it doesn’t get any easier with age unfortunately
Another thoughtful, well observed video full of humility. From someone who lives in Saudi, 8 years in China (married to a Chinese woman), 11 years in Australia, 2 in Korea, 2 in the US, 8 in Australia what you might consider touching on in future is the toll moving takes on not just you but those who love you, and concomitantly what that does to you back. With what little time we are all afforded here, on this earth. Cost/value/who knows England who only England knows etc. Prhaps give us your thoughts on how intense your friendships with those you've left behind have become since you did?
Hi Alexander that is quite a resume. That is a good point. I am not the best at keeping in “virtual contact” with people. I still have some school friends back in the U.K. who I see when I’m there but otherwise am not in contact with. But you’re right it does take a toll and the older I get the more value I place on my relationships which is why I would really think twice before moving again.
Listening to you can be a challenge from time to time, just because you have this extraordinary pleasant voice, that sometimes simply makes me loose track and go off on my own winding paths of thinking and reflecting ... not necessarily a bad thing, I suppose ..., so thank you anyway 😊...
Ok…I’m not sure if that is a compliment or a compliant 🤣
@@britingermany Ok, 🤣you got me there - I apologize for this kind of dumb post. Yesterday I couldn't stop listening, despite dead tired, just because of your - really pleasant - soothing way of speaking. And so my compliment obviously turned out a bit edgy, just because I was mad at myself... sorry 🤭...
@@a.mie.533 🤣🤣no probs
Wow. I just came across this video after watching the video on breaking negative cycles. This is a topic on living abroad makes me feel nostalgic as even though I have lived abroad extensively (Australia, China, different cities in Germany but mostly in the south), I feel like I am constantly learning. It´s not just learning about how to adapt or integrate or not lose contact with family and friends, it´s also very much about learning about yourself in ways you would not have if you had not left your home country.
Totally agree. It’s easy to get complacent if you remain the same environment all your life. Learning languages and changing environments forces you to grow
Mal vom sehr gut aufbereiteten und interessanten Content abgesehen, ist dies eine der schönsten Stimmen der KZhead-Welt! Ich könnte stundenlang zuhören. Wunderbar prononciert, perfekte Sprachgeschwindigkeit! Bitte weiter so! Please keep up the good work!
Awww well thank you that is a huge compliment 🙏😀
Wise words, certainly something to ponder about. I guess you just have to roll with the punches. Thank you and greetings from Latvia.
Thank you 🙏
Moved to Germany towards the end of 2020 as girlfriend had been offered a role in Luxembourg (we choose DE over Lux for cost of living) Watching this video has really shown how completely unprepared I was to move abroad! I confess, there are times i just want to give up and go home, but i'm here and i'm trying my best to make it work. For both of us.
I wish you the best of luck. It took me about 2-3 years to start to feel comfortable. Just give it a bit of time👍🏻
Most Brits are really happy with working or living in Luxembourg. It's a great place.
@@charleskristiansson1296 Oh for sure. We've nothing against Luxembourg, we possibly spend more time there then we do where we currently live! We just did the numbers and found that living over the border was (at the time) ever so slightly cheaper.
@@charleskristiansson1296 I’m sure they are and I think financially it makes a lot of sense
We used to live in Luxemburg and left for the same reason, also I found Luxemburg has an English speaking ex pat bubble and they don’t integrate. I also found Luxemburg boring, such a small country. It’s much easier to integrate into Germany, just one language and culture to learn, and no expat bubbles. Just real life. Throw yourself into German and you will enjoy it more and more.
Hi I moved from Brighton to Gran Canaria over 15 years ago. I had been there many times on holiday. I rented an apartment for 3 months just to make sure I was making the right decision. I lived like a local and not a tourist as I had before. I had a few English acquaintances but made sure I made local contacts and friends to help me adjust and learn Spanish. After 1 month I was bored so found a full time job in a hotel that needed English speakers. After 2 months I decided I had made the right decision and put my house up for sale in Brighton. It sold in 1 week to my surprise and I purchased my 1st place here. I have never lost my friends in the UK and visit as much as possible. I'll be back in Brighton at the end of September. I agree with everything you said in this vlog and it's very important to learn the local customs and quirks of where you move to.
Congratulations on the move👏. Sounds like you did everything right 👍🏻
I had been in northern Italy and in Germany and in the NL as a student and thought Austria can't be that different, and in a way true but not really, and so many things would have been easier if I had come to visit before moving here. Since my husband's family was here, I knew I would have a built in network to start with, and that helped. Best thing was getting a part-time job and joining a group of international ex-pats to make my own chosen "network" of friends here. Having a child here led to a steep learning curve in German. Friends I made at our common stage of motherhood are still around now, most of us with bilingual grandchildren.😉 (English and German)
That sounds great Connie 😀.
Great video! I left the UK (London (10 years) and my native Scotland) for good in 2004 and haven't looked back since I moved to Luxembourg. I managed to buy at the right time and have my dream job. So life has worked out well for me as a fluent French and German speaker (albeit with a Scottish accent). It does take courage but it is worth it. Keep those videos coming! Enjoy them.
That’s great. Very glad to hear it 😀
I'm planning well ahead of my move this time, to remove much of the cost and stress of the move. The internet is a great help for greater access to information and people than when I moved here decades ago. KZhead gives me access to German TV, news, documentaries, talk shows, etc, so I am acclimatising myself again this way, and it has helped me reach several decisions. I am not planning on reconnecting with people who didn't bother to stay connected, as that is pointless.
Very good. Obviously you can’t foresee everything but Planning ahead mitigates a lot of stress
@@britingermany Like typos? But Planning ahead to read before posting might mitigate. 😉 Or has the American tendency to misuse the negative penetrated Krautlish? 😜😊
Good evening, Benikon - thanks for another collection of experiences, reflection and witty explanations! You are so humble not realizing how much of what you tell is definitely philosophical! Please stick to this delightful level! Your experience with the market lady seems to confirm a cliché and is totally credible ... And makes me propose something to you: What about creating a quite huge video on the unpleasant topic of the "Servicewūste Deutschland"? I wish you a smooth beginning of the new week!🌈🌞☕👍😊
Thanks a lot. I wish you a great Monday 😀
Thanks, the same to you ... I hope the weather in Frankfurt is better than here!☔☹️
@@torstenberlin4088 yes the sun is back 🌞😉
Enjoy it - I am in Stockholm right now, and under this sky the city can't unfold its outstanding beauty properly.😢
One of the best advice for succeeding abroad that I ever heard (which came from pioneers in early America) : Don’t drink. (at least not regularly)
Haha really?! I find it can help quite a bit😉 (in moderation of course)
@@britingermany Drinking being helpfull is often leading to addiction. To put it the other way round, addiction most likely starts with drinking being helpfull. I would never recommend drinking as being helpfull to make friends. Being related to a few alkoholics I know how it started.
Well, ok, but in moderation, why not? That is one of the ways I let go of my ego: My Austrian husband, his friends and their girlfriends/wives and I would meet at wine gardens (Heurige) after work or on weekends and after a glass of wine (or two☺) I lost my inhibitions to try and speak German and it helped make friends. We were all young then, just out of university, so it was probably a lot easier to learn the language.
@@conniebruckner8190 I did not say it's not helpfull in certain situations, but sometimes, for some at least, it's hard to draw the line. Even for well educated people with a positive background.
Sure, it all depends on ones personality to handle it. The risk that you lose focus, ruin your health, family and finances should be kept in mind though. I myself used to enjoy beer, wine, a good single malt whiskey etc. but it’s taking its toll, especially when you’re not eating the right foods and/or if you’re smoking and don’t have enough exercise. You get to notice it the older you get.
Living one year in the Netherlands made me appriciate my german culture more and I saw a lot of things I wished to be implemented in my home country, too. (Allowing bicycles in two directions in one-way-streets took decades to get installed here...) Being open minded and embracing the differences can turn all those little things into a win-win situation. On the other hand you can spiral down when you take all that as personal insults. Even high expectations can bring you down cause people are people and behave accordingly. And getting connected is important. Was easy in my time because I studied and joined a sport club and lived with 15 other people together in one flat. I would recommend living abroad to almost everyone. Because you learn about yourself, you learn about the world and you grow. And having all the series and movies undertitled helped both my dutch and my english language skills. 😃
Wow! 15 people! That must have been one big house!
Thanks a lot for making these videos, they're great! Fun, insightful & nuanced. I'm about to move to Germany this November with my family. Have you some Germam language learning tips for an absolute beginner? I'll essentially be starting over with my life too as i can't do the NHS job i do in Germany as i don't have intermediate level German. Nonetheless, I am open to the adventure!
Wow how exciting. I wish you all the best with the move. I would suggest starting with a German language course. Depends where you move to but there are lots of options it’s important at the beginning to get started on the right track 👍🏻
@@britingermany Thanks Ben! I'll be moving to Bremen. Don't know if you've been but it seems cool there. Have you any recommendations re specific language courses/institutions etc? I'm 35, so I don't know if that makes a difference re eligibility with some courses. Any advice welcome!
@@ohnihsi well I did my first language course with Sprachcaffe which I thought was good. If you have the money Goetheinstitue is meant to be the best. There are also online schools like Lingoda which would be a bit cheaper. The important thing to note is that it’s a marathon not a sprint 😉. It took me about 3 years of constant effort until I started to feel comfortable in German.
@@britingermany thanks for those recommendations Ben. Yes I will have to manage my expectations & keep in mind that learning German will be a [difficult] slow burn😵💫, but also rewarding & for me, necessary! Congratulations on the new job btw! Another great video💪
I not only moved to 5 different States in the US but I also lived in Argentina and currently in Italy for the past four years. As I have commented in your previous videos, moving around is not for the faint of heart. Especially when you move to a culture totally different than your own. I planned my moved to Italy a lot better than my move to Argentina which probably explains why it has been more successful. I agree with your sentiments and those of your Commentors below that moving takes a toll on your relationships. However, if you react well, you will have an great opportunity to grow as a person and you will learn to be comfortable with yourself.
Thanks for sharing 😀...I guess you are a pretty seasoned "mover" now. I think it gets easier once you've built up a bit of experience.
@@britingermany One thing I learned is to accept each Country as it is and TRY not to compare with another. Crap and Ice Cream are common to each and all.
I'm from UK but have also lived in Hungary and Croatia. I don't feel that these countries are wildly different in culture to UK but I think if I moved to USA it would be a much bigger cultural adjustment.
@@Phiyedough You could be right. The language would be easier to understand though (well depending on where you go in the US😅😜)
Sounds like hard work in germany, also is frankfurt a friendly city? I would be more likely try slovakia or somewhere laid back. I was lucky enough to fly away to australia when i was in my 20s back in 2001 and it is so different to the uk... i really miss europe but not the uk .. was sort of easy as sharing a home was easy at that age... wish i did china and europe but this is still good financially, and i need to learn chinese as that is my partners language
Yes Frankfurt is one of the more friendly and open cities in Germany. I find it pretty laid back but I suppose it depends on personal circumstances. I think it’s great as a base because of the central location in Germany and Europe…but more on that on Sunday 😉
One possibility you didn't mention.. find a lover, move in with him/her and insist on speaking the local language. That way you learn what's important in your chosen country/town and possibly make friends quicker. Worked with me. Ok, I was lucky with the lover thing. But it is a perfect start even if it doesn't last long. The language might of course need more time. Not for me because Dutch for me as s German was easy
No 4 would be my No 1. Focus on learning the language, first, within a realistic timeframe. Start as soon as you arrive, and give yourself, two years. The longer I learned, the more fatigue I felt. If I had improved to say, a B2, in my first year or two, the fatigue wouldn't have set in. I would have simply continued to acquire greater fluency without noticing, because I would have reached a point where I could communicate in most situations... No 7. would be my No. 2. Having a support group is so important, especially for information in unknown or unpredictable situations, advice, tips.. 3. Do not throw away or suppress your identity, when with Germans. Be you, be with them, but be you. Don't be quiet just because they're quiet. Don't be cold just because they're cold. Be open. Be warm. Be nice. Make fun. Tell jokes. Be quirky. If that's who you are. Your identity is your selling point. If you try to "be German", you will fall short every time. Even Germans fall short of their own standards. Good luck to anyone just arrived.
Wise words👍🏻. Thank you 😀
What would I have done differently? I would not have moved to Hungary in 2011 but I don't know where I would have moved. Hungarian is a very difficult language and I failed dismally in my attempts to learn it. In most of Hungary hardly anyone speaks English, so I felt very isolated. I later moved to Croatia but I would not have seen that as an option in 2011, as it was not an EU country back then.
We live and learn as they say 😉
We used to live in the UK from 2001 to 2017 (guess why we came back). I agree with all you say in this video. We lost a lot of friends due to the "double-zero problem", i.e. in 2001 they needed to dial "0044" to keep in touch with me. Most didn't. Now - and especially since the pandemic - we have regular video calls with at least some of our UK friends. It's amazing how tech changed this. In about 2013, after another family holiday in Germany to see family and friends I told a UK friend that I was thinking of moving back. She replied: "Yeah, of course Germany is looking good when you go on vacation and see friends, family and do fun stuff. But imagine yourself going to work on a drizzly November morning in the dark. If you still want to return then do it." It held me back for another few years, then Brexit happened and we decided it's time. One thing Germans do not have a word for (yet): Being home sick towards a place that is not your home anymore. Like we sometimes miss the UK; Our friends, our house, the sea... "home sick" deoesn't work, but neither does "Fernweh". As we are pining for a place that used to be home. Any suggestions welcome.
Sounds like you made the right decision in moving back. But you will probably always feel a certain something for a place that you have lived in for many years
What apps do you use to record your videos? Buying a kitchen for an apartment that isn't yours and that will stay with the flat once you move out, is insanity.
I don't use any apps. Just a camera
Knowing the local Language do make a hell lot of difference when moving to a different country especially in Europe.I am from India where we have 25+ languages, but if you speak English, life is like a breeze. In fact many Indians speak English more commonly with other Indians if the other person don’t speak the other Indian state language. When I moved to Germany 7 years ago, it was a super shock for me. Though many big organizations in Germany support English as common languages- if you work in international teams. Still if you don’t learn language, you will be thrown back in your personal life as if you are illiterate.
Yes I think it is one of the most important things when moving country
You want to hear our experiences, so I write before I watch your video to say it not- influenced. I moved 2011 from Germany to Austria under the pressure to find a better job and simply shouldn't have done it. The amount of bureaucracy and struggeling to find out how things work here differently cost so much time in the first 1 -3 years, and the feeling to be in parts excluded from society because it's not where you grew up, this disadvantages equals out the advantages you had wished for from the better job. But this, for sure, is not especially a point at the topic of moving, but generally: deciding things under time-pressure, under financial pressure* or/and the pressure of other people is always bad, but often you can't free from this pressure. *and I am talking sbout that you don't know how to pay food the next week
Yes I know what you mean. It can be I credibly stressful. Some people thrive under that kind of pressure but others buckle. It’s definitely not for everyone
maybe one interesting detail is: one of the big problems was, that we had picked an apartment that turned out to be horrible, and we hadn't enough money to move soon again and when daily life, including sleeping, is then really bad very often, then the other challenging things get even harder. Finding a good apartment and good area in the town is crucial for a successful moving to a new country (or having enough money for a second move)