The Dangers of Living with an Au Pair: Au Pair Stranger In My House - The Full Documentary
2024 ж. 2 Нау.
39 452 Рет қаралды
This Documentary follows three families and their hunt for an Au Pair.
#documentary #family
This Documentary follows three families and their hunt for an Au Pair.
#documentary #family
An Au Pair is meant to be a parent's assistant, not a replacement. These parents are giving them the responsibilities of a full time nanny, but probably paying them a pittance. Shame on them.
💯 taking complete advantage!
Yes, they want cheap labor. I think au pairs are protected in the sens that they can only work a certain amount of hours
Let´s be honest all these parents want is cheap labour for childcare, cooking, cleaning and walking the dog. They all strike me as people who would be the types to say they would not work for a low wage, but that is what they want to pay that to complete strangers to look after their kids. None of those parents could even be bothered to do a proper handover or spend a few days "shadowing"
Agree!
That's your opinion. I think this is a great documentary, and showcases real scenarios where it works out, and when it doesn't . Seems like one out of three works out, and this is usually the rate of success in general in my experience. The Brazilian young lady is a joke and I would have sent her packing in under two weeks. She's lazy, crying, homesick, whatever. She just got a free place to live for six weeks. If these women had real-world skills, they would be able to get "better" jobs, but they don't so they're going to have to either suck it up buttercup or pack it up and go back home doing whatever it was they were doing beforehand.
Yes I understand what you mean However in this day and age there’s no point in having strangers to look after your children while one you can work around it while raising your children and working from home. I have worked from home since the 1990s and it was the best experience I picked up my children from school we spent time together I personally l can’t imagine other people caring for my children.like I do. The Mother she’s Educated surely she can work and still earn good income.while raising her children
@@summerbright2769 so you watched this just to pat yourself on the back for how great you think you are? Nice!!
Each of those parents were looking for cheap labour. Every household is diff and it takes guidance from the parent as to how the house is run. That girl wasn't even given a key to the house before the parent raced of in the morning. Besides aren't au pairs child minders and not housemaids or dog walkers???
"The dangers of living with a family".....that should be the title. Au Pair has a bloody HARD JOB!
As someone who was an au pair in the past, all these families are walking red flags. They just want a working horse for (preferably) free. Even when i was younger back then i wouldve never even considered any one of these families.
Then they turned the title into the dangers of living with a au pair as if it's the au pair industry that is the problem and not negletful parents 😢
@@lizf1353 absolutely right, that is glaringly obvious
Look at this comment - incredible - these people are being asked to perform basic household duties. I know no one amongst my friends etc who would not have accomplished their chores list and been to work - including feeding kids, school run, turning beds, cooking main meal, shopping, garden. Do you realise when it snows before 8.30 am we by law have to clear the road outside our house or we receive a fine. Stop moaning this is life - get a grip.
@@notbaltic280 So, the red flags that I also see all went over your head ?
It should be called the dangers of living with a family as an "au pair"
Agreed lol
I couldn't live in some of these houses
My thoughts 💭 exactly 😢
Absolutely 💯
literally one second in and my thoughts already!
To the moms: I understand your worries but you can't expect an au pair to think and act exactly the way you think she should think and act.
It’s true and it’s so hard for Moms to not be there for their kids so they see and find problems, worries and guilt at every turn.
Boo fricking Hoo OMG Is this you tube crap all about 30 somethings that don't know WTF they're doing?
"Somebody bright, intelligent, and responsible, who doesn't mind being an indentured servant who is paid pennies and expected to have no life of her own and be at our beck and call."
We have no idea what thay were paid. They also received room and board. However, I am fortunate I was never in the position of needing help to care for children while I worked.
@@cherylk.2474 Wow, room and boarding....so generous!
I was a live- out Nanny for 20 years. Raising peoples kids is rewarding and very tough. Parents should not impose everything on the au pair when the parents are home. If you are home, clean your home and cook for your kids. Care for your kids when you aren't working. People want kids and want help, often for when they are NOT working. Dont be shocked when your kids attach to their caregivers. Also, pay your children's caregivers well. I was fortunate and was paid well and treated well by the families I was with, except for 1 family. When you are a AuPair or Nanny, you are working very hard. Pay well!
The Girl from Texas,....ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL!!! She stood up for Herself,& put the Children in place,Behave or Im Telling Dad!!! Great Job, Young Lady!!!❤
And She can dance!!! Go Taberge!!
I was an aupair. 20 years later and I’m still close to the family. It was an amazing experience. I still work as a nanny
I suspect your 'family type' is not represented in this film. The idea that one person is employed to look after the childrens' daily welfare, act as their chauffeur, and clean the house, (in the case of the 'Chelsea' mother), is purely exploitative. I think the appropriate term is modern slavery.
Sounds as You were very lucky as my experience has been similar bad or worse as those shown
@@1celloheavencorrect
The families are awful I feel sorry for the aupairs
TAB and Anna are amazing both in difficult situations.
Au Pairs r not cleaners or cooks for your entire family, they look after children. if want cleaner and cook you need to hire someone else
I find this terrifying that parents leave their children with complete strangers who don’t fluently speak the same language and have little to no experience with children.
Au pairs do have extensive with children and they have to prove that. They don’t speak the language fluently but they must be able to communicate well to be accepted in the program. They go through a background check and must provide several references too.
@@marianeparsi1323 Yes, from what I have heard all this is true. In my own neighborhood, I have heard horror stories of au pairs having affairs with the husband. We couldn't afford to have an au pair, but I would have made sure she was not attractive preferably a gay unattractive female. I have heard a lot of the au pairs become entitled and demand a car, this, that , the other . Most of them I have heard about have gotten fired. This is just in my neighborhood, but I'm sure there are many happy stories where it actually worked out, but I personally would never have a stranger in my house especially to be so familiar with my family and bring boyfriends over, use my car, etc. No Thanks. The au pair additionally uses it as a pathway for citizenship in the USA anyway, not sure how it works in other countries.
@@marianeparsi1323 How are you going to check someone's background if they're from another country? Please let us know how that works? Anyone can purchase references
Need a qualified English N.N.E.B Who is DBS checked. Children are so precious! 😊
They really don’t care. They’re servants
I was so lucky when I was an au pair, seeing these families I really fell on my feet. They had a chauffeur and a housekeeper so I did no cleaning (au pairs aren’t there to clean they look after children). They bought me a car to use and I really enjoyed it
wow, where was this? obviously a rich family where these parents are average working class
Um where sign me up lol
I thought au pairs were there to look after the house and a nanny looks after children. If they're rich, wonder why they didn't have a nanny?
@@tlee2119 the children I looked after were 9 and 12. They went to an international school. The chauffeur took them to school and I picked them up. I’d take them to music lessons, I’d take them to the outdoor pool in the countryside. I was only 19, I had so much fun. If the parents were away on business I’d have charge of the children. I was there partly to improve my French speaking (the family paid for private lessons) and partly to enjoy living in an amazing area in Europe. It was a life changing time for me
You should write a book! Seriously! 🎉❤
They should be called "cheap labour nannies" because they are definitely not an Au Pairs. Au Pairs are cheap too, but at least they are working legally, because they are provided legal paperwork and visas if needed. Family needs to pay the agency too. But these families don't even want to spend money to go through the legal process. No wonder these girls stay only for few months, they are underpaid, overworked and stressed out. Who wants to work for such a crazy people. I was an Au Pair for real and legally, and I worked for the family for 2 years. I did that to improve my English, and I was treated well by the host parents (aka. my bosses).
Poppy’s mother is a handful! Forget about the child.
Makes you wonder what is wrong with her.
@@AnimaLiberashe’s just used to a very well ordered life, and having a baby at 45 is a shock to the system. They feel by providing an explicit schedule they’ll be in control. It doesn’t work like that, and it causes burn out. If you’re going to hire a caregiver you’re going to have to have some flexibility and trust them. Former nanny and caregiver here..
The children were blessed to have Tab for awhile because Gemma doest seem too into being a mother or cleaning the house and seemed jelous. The brazilian girl Anna did great but the lady she works for seems hard to please. The Turkish woman did well but was clearly unhappy and out of place.
Those parents were separated so it wasn’t Gemma’s house to clean. That tip is dad’s fault.
Mom is giving her princess a finger bowl with "lemon",yet she wants the au pair to "lay down the law." LOL as they say.
That's the first time I ever heard of a finger bowl, and I'm 48😂
I was born and raised in Bombay, 20 years older than your good self, and because of 'finger food' the finger bowl was common practice. We returned to England in 1964 and whenever we ate curry there were always finger bowls on the table...and I recall it was also something offered in restaurants during the 80s. They make complete sense. @@renbrent2314
They are used in Europe a lot and were used by medieval royalty and aristocrats.@@renbrent2314
I wouldn't look after none of those kids , not even for a million pounds 😂
Me too the nightmare would be unbearable 😨😨😨
Agree💯
I was a Nanny 20 years. Some kids are just the result of very poor parenting. Some of these kids have parents who are not involved, yet they buy them stuff to make up for their absence. If these kids get a loving caregiver, it can really be beneficial and life changing.
I would for a million.
Whatttt? I would definitely look after them for half a million dollars 😂. I love children. My mom has 12😂
Gemma is very unusual. Tab did well with that family. Hard job.
If I were Tab I would rather end up with that family then the other two.
Its when he says to "keep the place tidy "he needs a deep clean team in 😮😮
What a 🤡 that dad with the petrol around the child,,, oh it’s o.k he’s a safety officer 😂😂😂😂😂. On the phone while driving 🤬
@phina Very well observed and said. The edges of that huge, wild fire was too near the children and they looked scared pushing back against the fence from the flames.
"what drink do u like"? Ammm...whisky,wine and whiskey...jack danniels....😂..WHAT???a new aupair???wow
Yeah I certainly wouldn't respond to that question with only alcoholic drinks
😂😂😂😂 at least she was honest 😂😂😂
Wonder how much it was edited?
Langage barrier. Drinks mean alcool in many countries.
@@francineleduc3022 true
Andrew’s ex wife is nuts 🌰
Yes, I hate to say it but I think maybe she is a bit slow or something
I had a really nice friend who I met on my tennis team in 🇺🇸. She was from France and such a lovely person. Her niece wanted to come to 🇺🇸, so I invited her to live with us. We had 2 sons 6 and 3. Our daughter was 12 months old. It was extremely awkward because she had been so sheltered. We gave her our largest bedroom upstairs but it broke my heart because we did everything to make her feel like a part of our family. But she was so homesick! I ended up parenting her also. It was heartbreaking that she missed her family so much! But of course we wished her well when she flew back to France.
She reminds me of a drug addict.
The dad is just as insane.
And he is a laid back honey......
Would not work in the engineers house. It’s a mess and they are crazy!!
Even outside the house. It doesn't make sense. Spring cleaning every day until it looks normal.
Jesus what did I just watch! That second family are Feral and I mean the parents.
😂😂
😂😂😂 Lord forgive me, they said it and I hollered because it’s what I thought too
My opinion is that she should work from home instead of getting strangers to look after children.. and then start working when children start school Surely that’s the only way anyone can enjoy Motherhood. Unfortunately lots of Mothers don’t enjoy looking after their own children…..
Tab needs a family that pays and treats her well the mother is dreadful to her. I hope Tab left immediately. She deserves so much better.
They became friends by the end and went out socializing together, even without the kids.
@@gauloise6442 Sounds good lmao
How do all these people live? Looks like a nuclear bomb has gone off in their homes!! What a freaking mess!! Every single one of them are quite a few fries short of a happy meal - scary.
"Where are you from? Texas, Massachusetts?" REALLY? "Texas Chain Saw Massacre"??? Wtf?
it's ironic that she didn't realize how much she was telling the world how ignorant she was....
Agreed
the mother with the glasses.... was so weird.. her singing🤣. this was so bad. they just hire these poor girls so they don't have to pay much. it's shocking really.
the handover from claire was awful what a shit show that poor girl x
omg lady if it makes you feel bad that your kid walked somewhere without you then just stay home and be their mother…🙄
💯 not sure why it's such a problem to make a child walk either
the whole reason you become a parent is to be a parent. You just don't farm out your children to other people because then you are not a parent. I understand when things become difficult and you need someone to help. Perhaps we should be more loving and kind to each other and really respect one another including children and the aged
Yes Jayden was indeed fine. He walked like a little trooper. I think he enjoyed it. 👍😺😊
Yes I was surprised that she was upset, he was outside getting some Sun & exercise. She should want that.
Sometimes it's the best thing when kids are sent to boarding school or with an au pair . That was probably the most spontaneous thing those kids ever did in their lives.
The kid doesnt walk ???? Mpre like mum hates walking so slow and having to hold his hand so she bangs him in pushchair to make her life easy. Sad really
Not the case, it's for safety and small Children need one to be safe etc.
The man they met said it was a 20 minute walk, there and back. That's a bit too much for a toddler to walk, but a short walk around the block would be fine without a push chair. I was more concerned she didn't bring diapers, water or a snack.
The second parents..... I bet even all these years later when somebody says what was your worst job ? I was driven round the garden by a little boy on a child size toy 😮😂
Tab is the best
Would be interesting to have a 2024 update.
I bet these families are looking for more au pairs
@@user-sy6fj2bm1z there hardly any au-pair in England these days, thanks to Brexit.
Thanks to Brexit a young woman can live and sleep free homeless on the streets. It looks completely safe. She doesn't need to take any risks. We are no longer in the 19th century.
@@catepilarr Turkey, USA and Brazil are not part of EU. So what would be different?
Nannies don't do housework. They look after children exclusively. Otherwise it's like asking the plumber to fit the carpets too. 😮
dont know why you would bother having kids
The first woman admitted poppy was an accident and the result of a fling
I'm fed up. First words you learn in England as a foreigner 😂
Lmao
Many years ago when my children were small over a period of years i had 5 au pairs. They were all from a reputable agenzy and the girls had a list to tick off what they were prepared to do in the house,so i knew exactly which one to choose. Luckily i was a housewife and we did everything together with the children. No way would i leave my children alone with strangers,its not fair on the children or the young girls. These girls all cried when they left because they realised that they were treated as part of the family and not like servants or worse skivvies. If i were an au pair i would have run a mile with everyone of these families.
The first couple needs a housekeeper and landscaper and a nanny. Handling a couple of kids and cleaning up that mess the house is in
I don’t think I would be comfortable with a stranger living in my home caring for my children full time 😂
Tab was amazing! I felt so sorry for the sweet girl from Brazil. She did everything and the lady was never satisfied. And the one from Egypt, missing her home right away and I can't say I blame her. Is there a reason they only hire girls that have just come from another country and don't know anyone and barely speak the language? They need the families to take car of them too if they're going to bring someone that's going to just feel lost and alone. If they don't want to make those girls welcome and see that their needs are being met, they should hire a babysitter from their neighborhood.
That would cost more too mean to pay.
Because they look for cheap labour
I can’t imagine having someone who doesn’t speak your language taking care of your children. The family with the American girl, Tab, is lucky. She seems very calm and responsible.
Families will take advantage of girls from another country. I went to Montreal from England when I was 21 and worked from 7 am until 10:30 at night looking after a baby and a 5 year old. I had a day and a half off per week. The family was extremely wealthy but paid me very little. It was the same for all my friends.
"British people refuse to work these jobs" ie, British people require decent pay and decent treatment.
That poor Turkish girl with the couple that looked on the brink of divorce. What a miserable, unhappy home to be placed in. Out of all of them, the whacky dad with the Texas girl seems the best, the only one where the family seemed to love each other with warmth and treated the au pair like a human, even if they were eccentric.
Jill is awful, no wonder she has difficulty getting and keeping someone....treating them like they're servants 😮and poor poor Poppy! Talk about an insufferable micro managing helicopter parent...perhaps the standards she expects would be better reached by sending Poppy to a boarding school. That poor child, I see a word of hurt and a feeling of never being good enough in her future 😢
That list: Poppy wakes up. Practises harp for 15 minutes. Eats Breakfast. So regimented.
Poor au pairs! 😰
I think tab a great nanny.😊
Did I really just see that "Snotty" woman give her very young daughter champagne?!!!
In England you can have alcohol with your family at home when you are five years old. It’s completely legal. Just small amounts but it’s not a crime
It's very normal in Europe to give kids a sip of wine or a very small amount diluted in water.
The European alcohol culture is quite liberal. It's fairly common for a glass of dinner wine, often mixed with water, to be given to the family's children during special occasions. Have known families in the states that do this as well.
@@winterbeaches never experienced that def. Not normal or healthy.
I was an Au-Pair through an agency. The family was vetted as well as I. Everything worked out great. I would recommend only doing it with a respected agency.
And we were in contact for over 3 months beforehand.
A working mum with high standards, will always appreciate the effort, well done young lady, Poppy is a lovely girl. And you rose up to her standards.❤
Once you have no control of your children's discipline, why would you expect someone to come fix your children?
That second family the way the mom looked at her hand like "ugh" ... when the au pair shook her hand. So flippin rude!
Don’t cry love she’s horrible to work for I certainly wouldn’t
What they need are housemaids not au pair
This mother of three boys who aspires to become a Nurse has seemingly checked out long ago!!
what is the compensation for live in Nanny. seems Anna is doing duties beyond Nanny; house cleaning. Cooking for mom. I can understand daughter at lunch. So the pay must be very good, I hope. P.S. Get your own mustard Poppy.
I thought au pairs had a work week of about 18 - 20 hours. This seems borderline servant labour. Low wages and their priority is to be a household conducive to helping the au pair learn English. .. I didnt see that happening very much. Looks like they are low paid nannies/house cleaners - awful
It was used to a rule that Au Pairs legally could work up to 40hrs, so it wouldn't be considered full time, for visa purpouses, but recently I have heard some other info, that they can work even more than 40hrs🤦♀️
You are right they are supposed to get time off to learn English.
Depending on the country and mutual agreement, au-pairs in Europe work between 20 and 40 hrs a week. In US its up to 45 hrs and only a minimum of 1.5 days off.
All these people are nightmares wtf would want to work for any of them? Straight up if you want things done a certain way do it yourself it’s not fair to except someone to be a mind reader and to be exactly like you.
It’s a safeguarding nightmare..
Aww, Tab is great ❤
when she said "oh she must have super powers" to counting backwards, was really heartwarming
She’s amazing with the kids ❤
Why on earth don't they use an agency - who will screen the girls who want to be au pairs? Its much safer!
Because it's cheaper, but comes with risks.
Because the families would have to be checked as well...and i dont know if all of them would get in.
EXACTLY!!!!
I was a mothers help many years ago I got my job with an agency in the magazine Lady
@@olgasankin5899that's a good point, I was just think they were trying to do everything cheap.
No way with that finger water....no f way
🤣🤣🤣 That would have sent me
Whoa Poppys mum needs to CHILL a little :))) As a single mum of 3 , over 30 years or so, I know the value of relaxation in the home. not abuse, not big messes, but calm and fun and gentle teaching of chores and responsibility.
Having kids is not compulsary, i reckon it's better not to have them if you want to maintain a career
I walk all day with my grandson keeps them fit and they sleep well
Some of those kids are WILD! Maybe Claire should stay at home with her kids then.
I also find this terrifying -children lfet with strangers. There must be agencies who specialize in this? l Why did these people have three children when they don't want to be there to take care of them?
There are agencies who specialise in this. They charge families fees, and do background and suitability screenings on all the applicants. These families are trying to do it on the cheap.
@@brookebickley6873they can do it the cheap way, but you have to do all the work yourself, they have not done anything but interview these woman. Who hires people who you have not even done at least a criminal check on, to look after your Children. They didn't only want cheap, they wanted easy as well. Very neglectful in my opinion.
I find it more terrifying for the girls who are alone, barely speaking the language, getting into peoples cars who they only met online and hoping for the best.
I think if just because you decide to cut back on your cleaner dog walker and make that your child cares jobs doesn’t mean it’s fair or right . Wouldn’t have worked with any of these families nightmares all of them .
I didnt know people like this existed 😂😂
Do you live in a bubble?
these ridiculous parents! omg... shockingly stupid
Gemma doing the flamenco on the dance floor 💃
Tab was a great nanny 👏
Poppy’s mom is out of touch and needs to pay for the services she requires. The young lady she hired is not a cook or a maid let alone a babysitter. Make it make sense
Andrew is a Safety engineer!?
Right ??🫣 Proceeds to throw petrol on a fire 🔥 😳
Lol, I thought that too 😅
Yeah let that sink in
🤣🤣
He tries things. If he survives, it's safe. 😂
47:02 the people is clapping to the fact the song is over 😂
Choosing the person who cares for your child because of their star sign... Yikes...🚩🚩🚩 Those poor girls.
The man with the children reminds me of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
On one of these parents Social Services should have been called.. shocking
Who wd take a 2 y old for such a long walk
Tab is amazing! 😊
Anyone who meets these criteria to be an au pair of the kind these families expect, is in a much better paying job than au pairing.
I do not understand. I see working class people hiring au pairs but how much are they paying for the au pair? The reason I ask is because the homes seem to need repair. I would try to repair my home and find more time to rear my child rather than turn them over to an au pair. I would hate to work for Poppys mother.
Au Pairs in the very wealthy areas here only make maximum 250 per week for 11 or more hour days. Yes they get free room and board. They also only get one day off a week. Rarely two days off a week. They also do household chores etc. and that’s through an agency. It’s a fancy way of taking advantage of someone.
Idk...i feel like there is a lot of in/breedin goin on
Wine, whiskey 😂
That look at 40:07 says I am THAT close to grabbing the nearest saucepan and getting rid of some tension lol
2 weeks into my au pair experience I had to have a very tense talk with my host family about what "40 hours a week" actually means. I was waking the kids off, getting them off to school, doing chores while they were gone, picking up the little one at noon, making lunch for the family, entertaining the kids all afternoon and evening, putting kids to bed, doing chores at night. It definitely put me off parenting 😂
She took the two very young children on an actual excursion, for a minimum of one hour, without a single thing, no food, water or even a sweater for either of them. A very poor decision when you have two young children with you.
A whole hour in mild weather without food, water & a sweater? How on earth did they survive this massive hardship?
OOooohhh Lord!!!! A Freaking, LIST! A Minute, by Minute List!!! Oh,& Dont prepare food the Only way You Know How ...You Must Do It My Way!!!! I QUIT !!!😂
The au pair from Texas is so sweet
I think Tab might just be an angel .!
Love the dancing
I've seen both sides of good and bad from an au pair's perspective as well as the parents. I've seen parents in Belgium expect their au pair to do their personal laundry and iron their undergarments. I've seen families offer au pairs a separate furnished cottage with a monthly allowance on top of their regular stipend. I've seen au pairs film the family children and go into a family's personal space and post videos of it on social media. And I've had very random things go missing in my house during an au pair stay- like 16 spoons and other kitchen items.... So you never know.... It's interesting to see that being an au pair in the UK is very different than being an au pair in the US. In the US, they are screened and contracted through an agency for generally one year at a time. The job description does not allow the family to expect au pairs to do regular housekeeping outside of what is directly related to the children's care. And there are strict rules about how many hours and days per week can be designated as work time.
The au pair idea is they should be like kind of older siblings doing some light House work and childcare but plenty free time to socialize and study ect
THIS is how people randomly choose Au Pairs? Really???
No. At least not in my experience. I find this document very bizzare.
I can’t watch this anymore. They treat those au pairs so badly.
These girls are really courageous just showing up in these peoples houses with all their stuff. I wonder how many disappear or are attacked by the fathers. People talk about the parents leaving these girls with their kids, but these girls are just as vulnerable from these random ads they reply to.
100%... There is a story where an affair was murdered by the family she worked for.