How to Deal With a Disrespectful Teenager (4 Strategies That Work Wonders)
Are you trying to figure out how to deal with a disrespectful teenager? If so, this video is exactly what you need.
In this video, I’ll explain how you can get your disrespectful teens to stop being rude and to stop giving you attitude.
I’ve spoken to and worked with over 20,000 teens around the world. So I know which tips and techniques work if you want your teens to speak and behave respectfully.
I’ll share with you what you need to know about the teenage brain, so that you can engage with your teens more effectively.
I’ll also talk about how the online world has influenced your teens’ attitudes and perspectives. With this knowledge, you’ll know how to get through to them so that they’ll be less disrespectful.
In addition, you’ll learn about why your teens probably feel powerless, and how this affects them emotionally and psychologically. You’ll be equipped with the tools to empower your teens so that they’ll become less rebellious.
I’ll talk about the exact type of phrases and statements you should use if you want your teens to be more open to what you have to say.
If you apply the strategies in this video, I’m sure you’ll see positive changes in your teens. Your home environment will become more peaceful too!
🕛 TIMESTAMPS
0:00 Intro
1:07 Tip #1
3:24 Tip #2
5:34 Tip #3
8:37 Tip #4
10:35 Conclusion
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What is one disrespectful thing your teen does or says that frustrates you? Leave a comment and let me know. Also, make sure to get your FREE quick action guide "10 Proven Ways to Get Your Teenager to Listen to You" here ➡ www.daniel-wong.com/guide
I’m I’m 😊
He says I'm toxic, after disobeying anything and everything..I feel yak
He keeps repeating “It's not your business”😏 could you please say what should I do?
He says, I don't care. . . or will not respond to a question.
they say "not you business... what about doing it yourself.... give this advice to yourself..." one really knows how to make me crazy, smiles at me as if she was mocking me, laughs at my words and says hurtful words in wispher when she appraoches me ... that doesn't always happen, only when she is angry at me... i started managing my anger by understanding the psychology in her attitude, i think she feels insecure and her way as copymechanism is violance and aggressivity
Truth hurts sometimes… and people need called out on negative traits. Delivery matters… yes. But too much candy coating does not make them stronger, nor prepare them for the world.
true, like we are tolerating, destroying not building them
Even with helpful information, a good family can still have disrespectful children. The internet, social media etc is destroying today generation at a rapid pace..
Exactly they are being "parented" by every unethical and subversive influence via tech
You are exactly right. My 12 year old granddaughter had a fit when I asked her to put her cell phone down for a minute! She has never had chores , or any discipline. Her mom is an alcoholic and a mental wreck! Her dad do not discipline or give her any kind of duties. I have had enough! One thing I don’t allow is disrespect. She also hangs with another troubled 12 year old. My granddaughter goes to counseling but I don’t see any progress!
As a father of six daughters, one being 42 years old, 4 teenagers and one that just turned 12, I have had a variety of issues over a long span of years and of different generations. My teenagers, who have grown up with internet, social media and the Covid 19 pandemic, are a special generation of kids that traditional thinking has gained new meaning. It's as if they don't need or rely on parents when answers to their questions are fingertips away. What used to be the proper way to deal with conflicts or emotional differences with parents, have become rise to stress and frustration. I agree to a point on some of the suggestions you make on this video, but I also think because there is less parenting going on in the world because of single parents, long work hours, lack of time spent with kids and more access to internet activities that content can be fake information that kids become more confused than ever.
Appreciate your support we are grandparents with our grandson living with us Post COVID-social isolation he did his senior year on line 1/2 his junior yr.. delayed development anger anxiety .. he even graduated cum Laude with AP classes.
😭😭😭 so true
So true indeed!!!
The older I get the more I realize why the older generation acted and raised like they did. Society is unraveling.
It’s a much different world today then it was 30 or 40 years ago
Yes, and those tips give you nothing
So goes the saying: To be young and a conservative is to be insensitive - To be old and a liberal is to be a fool.
Every time my teen is back to calm and normal and I ask if we can discuss something she goes straight back into fight or flight, she is instantly triggered. Meeting doesn't even begin.
😢 they are the most senseless creatures under the sun they don't have any emotion towards their parents
its like tolerating their behavior
I did all of this, but it didn't work with one of my children. All this advice is good, but you have to take into consideration that sometimes the situation is unbearable.I'm not even talking about great conflicts here. I experienced a slow, but steady decline of respect, dedication to family life, a chosen way of life I can't relate to and a frustration that there seems to be a total lack of appreciation for me and my husband. Although a lot of time has passed and were're not living together, the emotional distance hasn't really gotten smaller.Whenever there's a meeting that last for more than a day or two, tensions are running high.
Telling me that I have no right to expect her to do her chores...or anything for that matter, really frustrates me.
Likewise, your kid has no right to expect you to give everything she wants and do everything for her all the time. If she has privileges like internet access or allowance, she has to earn it.
@@walqqr1wow brilliant!
@@walqqr1 that's dumb
I think i have to watch this about 100X more for my step teenage daughter
Hope that helps!
🫶🏽 Blessings to you mama
My daughter is always in her room, she doesn’t spent enough time with her family.
Idk if you’re still on here. My 16 daughter has been on my last nerve. She is 1 out of seven. She is the third youngest. Mother passed away in 2020. My daughter has been testing the waters since. Being rebellious, low academic grades, needing her cell phone to survive, rolling the eyes, sneaking out of the house, vaping, missing school bus and I could keep going. I think corporal punishment would do her some good. However I will try some of your steps first before I get the wooden spoon like my mother use to do me. All of the selective words you gave hurt my head. I am not a God but a mere human with human emotions. So I will keep trying but she is on my short list. You’re more than welcome to stop by my house for a few sessions. We live in PA in the Lehigh valley area. I’ll even do a zoom call. Anything. I also need a vacation. Thank you
The don't have any love towards their parents
I think, as a mother, I demand respect no matter what. I'm friendly, but in the end of the day, me and my husband are paying for them. And I don't accept being treated badly, just because my children's brains haven't develooed yet. I think, as part of the older generation, I don't have to engage in too much conflict, I can simply say no.
As a mother, I feel like we are unappreciated in so many different ways. And I totally 100% agree with you. I demand respect as well as a mother no matter what. You won’t respect from me you must first give it. I am the authority figure. Therefore, if you want me to be able to allow you to do more, and to have more freedom, you must first show me that you can obey and follow the rules. I don’t know what this dude is talking about, definitely the talking thing can be fixed and changed as far as control. Yeah, you are being controlled because you’re a child and if you think that you can make adult decisions as a child, then you need to move out.
@@melissaphillips08 I am really feeling sorry for both of your children. Respect is never demanded but earned. What if your child too think like this? If you can't be merciful and ready to sacrifice your high ego, a bit, for your innocent small child, I really wonder your status of relationship! You are showing power of your authority to that poor fellow who just need a bit more love, a bit more care, a bit more relaxed person to whom they can share things! Shame! Of course, how will this get to your egoistic head!
@@ascoolas_iceso from ur opinion, as adults we don’t have all the needs u just listed right? Because many of us never ask to be here, and our children can say the same, yet that’s not going to solve the pandemic problem right? Some of us grow up the evil way, no basic training, yet we are still able to work n provide for our children, I’m not expecting my child to respect me honestly, just respect my rules, When a child attend school, the leaders at the school isn’t expecting for the child to respect them, but they must follow the school policies, especially as a teenager!
It is so much more effective to mentor and coach. I rephrase what my daughter said and then I ask her how she thinks that makes me feel. I get hugs and kisses and I am sorry daddy, I will try better. Also, work on strengthenong relationships before you need to use the relationship bond to tackle challenges together.
Raising kids sounds like a lot of hassle..why do we even do this to ourselves? So we won't be lonely in our old age?
Talking back and not caring!
Thank you, but sometimes i want to send him to a boarding school, because no matter what i do his is miserable.
I don’t think this tips work at all. We have a teenager that has always being treated with respect, going to therapy and having an open space to talk about anything that could frustrate him. In return we got disrespect, lies and indifference. This doesn’t work. I’m starting to believe that discipline and strictness is the only way to raise a respectful person. Otherwise they just become too entitled. It’s unbearable.
I tell my son to please clean his bathroom and he tells me that that’s my job that I am the mom and that’s my job.
U are a true enabler.
Thankyou so much...concrete and well articulated advice. It's a gradual process,with teens you can just focus on the moment or situation...getting over stressed over how they will turn out or their impulsive behaviours will spoil the current communication. Parents must work on being calm and ready that some things will not be in their control.
14 yr old gets A and B's. We reward him for grades, chores etc. Wifey bought him a phone. This boy still disrespect us and gets mad when we say NO!!
Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry to hear about the frustrating situation. This other video that I've created might be helpful: kzhead.info/sun/h75_aN2Sg31og68/bejne.html
Thank you for this video! Its so important for parents to evaluate their own behavior and disrespect that tends to fuel children's misbehavior. The "traditional ways" of parenting have often left children scarred, perpetuated abuse, and now we have grown adults who don't know how to model humility and kindness for their own children. For those who are willing to lay down their pride and actually contemplate their ways, this videos for you!
My teenage son talks back while I'm talking to him. It becomes annoying when he continuously does that...
Does it hurt your ego? Do you expect or want your son to be a deaf and dumb? Or only dumb? Why do you want to raise your child to be a labour or worker who only listen, get oppressed?
I had a 15 years old daughter,now she lied alot and following the wrong group at school
same😢
Any suggestions on a child disrespectful because the coparent allows it? How can you navigate that when they’re getting away with it majority of the time?
Agreed sir❤
This is a 15yo boy from an online community. I'm not his family. Apparently, his parents doesn't let him use social media, except for our small online server. I am 28. At first, I tried to coach him, I was respectful and all that. He didn't respond much but kept talking about his situation. He displays toxic traits like judging other ppl or saying sarcastic things to them. One day, he tried to do this to me too, and I wasn't having that and changed the topic in a dismissive way. Eventually after some more weeks, idk why but he started judging me, giving me silent treatment, then when I was writing about a bug bite in the server today, nothing serious just little daily life things, he said "...just no." I asked him to clarify what he meant, but he decided to run away with silence. :/ Super frustrating
I'm so glad I found your channel. Really love your parenting tips and looking forward to watch more.
Thank you so much!
This is the best advice I can get. It makes so much sense to me. Thank you!
You're welcome!
Excellent speech 👍👍👍
Excellent pointers!
Glad it was helpful!
Great job !!
Thank you!
I try these and have for years and they don’t work on my teen. I wish. Thank you though.
Daniel, these are excellent tips! My 8-year old grandson was "eavesdropping" while i was watching your video and he remarked that parents of younger children should listen to the 4 tips, too :)
That's great to hear :)
My sons are 13 and 16. My younger one is very stubborn and always challenges anything I say. He will always say I’m not doing much for him and he had a very bad childhood as he was in Creche and he never had mother’s love and was always alone
Saying he doesn't care, refuses to do anything he is asked to do and that he doesn't want to be in our family.
Soo true sir
You are great! 👍 thank you!
You're welcome!
Wow. That crap about being expected to follow rules???...I give my kids more freedom than I probably should, but helloooooo....welcome to the real world!!! We allllll have to learn to follow the rules of life.
You put into words what I’ve been trying to explain to my husband, but you explain it more logically lol😅
Thank you!
I don't know if I can think of just one thing. My son is very disrespectful he lies about everything (big or small). I cant trust him to do the right thing, recently caught him smoking in my home an he tried to lie about it. Its like nothing I do is good enough and I have 3 other kids that need me as well and I feel drained with just him, that i have nothing left for my other children
🙏❤️
Good practical advice. No fluff.
Glad it was helpful.
All this if we cannot tell, it is simply telling us to suffer in silence.
As a teen myself this is interesting to learn
I give him time to behave n take action but he waste time n results are at risk.. As a single mom n financialy weak so i have to remind him not to waste time n preparr well
Nah. I'm just not going to put up with the disrespect. She can stay with her mother and have a wonderful life
I'm sure that is a much better option than prioritizing your relationship with her and treating her like a human being.
Actually because of my child behaviour,I am getting frustrated and getting,dipression,, every min I am thinking of him ,he should be good person,
Bossing me or telling me what to do
My son Ethan is 17 and he always gives me the cold shoulder
When I ask him to be home by a certain time and he's always late with excuses.
I got tons of YOU statements. At 57 years old I was diagnosed with a learning disability they never questioned. It was always me rather than them asking me why I struggled so hard. It was beyond my control and not the expert in neurodiversity. . I was just expected to keep up or get verbally assaulted.
It was a good video.....
This is wild, children and parents are not equals. It's not criticism it's teaching and guiding. This is half the problem with kids nowadays.
Very good lacture
Thank you
i have giving up the teaching . it just easy to do the work and go on. avoid frustrates . they will grown up when turn 18.
I work in a middle school. I understand the comparison to prisoners. I also work with students with IEPs. They are even more under a microscope than Gen ed kids. The one thing rhey have in common is they have no fun in their lives. As school budget cuts dig deeper, the art, music, creating new things no longer exists. I ask kids what they did all time off, they shrug their shoulders and tell me video games, TV and sleep. The parents took them no where and did nothing...just like a prisoner in solitary confinement. When they get punished, they get more of the same nothingness. In my day, fun was taken away. These kids have very little pleasure or fun to take away. Good behavior is not rewarded with fun or acknowledgment. Why bother???? It won't be seen. It also steals their ability to dream of the future , explore who they are as people and see their strengths. They need to see a world out there worth working towards
Telling me I am not her mother, telling me she doesn't wanna live with me...
I’m right there with you
I'm getting the same treatment 😢
why it happened to us evenif we are doing our best to give them the best. sometimes i had thughts of giving up or leave
I am also a pretentious idiot. I watch crap on the media, I am a loser, I can do nothing well. You might think I insult my daughter as well. Wrong! I don't even feel like calling her names.
Trueeee
Teens in the US know they have all the power because they know no matter how they speak to you that you aren't allowed to physically discipline them or you go to jail nor are you allowed to kick them out of the house until they are 18. I can only stop paying for my sons phone, get rid of video games and computer. I cant make him help around the house either because mine is so stubborn he would rather stare at 4 walls and never have phone or games again rather than do what hes asked.
Stop buying anything other than peanut butter and jelly and fruit for the house. Don't work, don't eat good food. Simple.
Can’t listen to them if they won’t talk. 😢.
Playing video games on the phone and talking to parent at the same time.
Don't look me in the eye or try to look at their phone while I'm talking.
She says you guys never do anything for me and never love me
These are probably the worst possible advices. Man , get your kid out of that publoc school . Thats it. Even if that doesn't work. Then just hand them over to child care. In the earlier times there were provisions to take physical actions against kids who are disrespectful. That was the best. Too much freedom is dangerous. In this era if you try to beat your kid for somthing that is harming others. You get called from child protective service and as they wont allow you to teach lessons to these kids/teens, then they should be the one managing them. Parents go through a lot while raising a child and when they grow up to become like this ( disrespecting and causing harm to others), then parents just should leave them alone. It's a small life, if it"s not worth it, dont sacrifice your happiness for shits like this. I am sorry to put things like this but the policy of this country is the one who is responsible.
i feel frustrated when my son use vulgar languages on me, cover his ears when i just want to say something to him, stay in his room most of the time to avoid me ...:( i feel so hopeless on him ever will talk to me anymore....sighz
Yes patents do all that and stull the distespect and entitlement and swearing and refusal to do any chores etc it goes on and on.
Low grades i have issues with them
The words "whatever" or "Ill try" are like a redflag to me
Being 43 I'm confused with some things. I might be wrong, which I have no problem with owning if I am, but what I hear is when i grew up I was to be respectful and accountable, we were raised outside then news had to remind parents they had kids at 10. Being the only child I wasn't the spoiled only child, I was the you are responsible if your friend breaks something in our house then it's on me type. Also if someone disrespects you then try to resolve, then don't entertain, then make them if they insist on harassing. But now I'm an adult I'm supposed to give my kid more power than I have in the only place I have it? When the kids now aren't accountable and believe they just are never wrong. They don't know how the world works because they grew up inside, they never lose because they get rewarded for losing and now can be disrespectful to their parents because they're no consequences? So at what point do they learn reality? In the work force, bosses aren't going to pretend they have power. If respect is not understood early then accountability for actions is not learned because that is respect in the self and from others. If respect is not learned early then understanding authority and power is not learned. So like now we have people who think they can make decisions but not the consequences, they think communication is them saying whatever they want and then ignore the other part of conversation like they do online, while they are being told mean are weak, not needed. My job as a parent is to raise a productive good person, but in order to be that you have to know who they are. You have to lose to overcome the mindset that you win all the time. You have to acknowledge mistakes to learn from them. You have to struggle to know what you are capable of when your back is against the wall. Right now you a society that nobody knows who they are but demands other people to meet expectations that they have but they aren't the weakest version of person they could be. They can't handle pressure now and end up snapping and hurting themselves or others. All because they were raised to be a false level of respect.
Cutting me off in conversation, I know…I know …are you done now.
My son mumbles and swears at me, this makes my blood boil, constantly criticizing my driving…
could you please give some examples?
My Daughter doesn't feel she should do chores and I have to keep repeating myself
my mom and sister narcists , then came ex another narcist now son a soon to be adult who lives with me another narcist, how do i deal with this teenager who will turn adult in few months who is extremely selfish and doesn't care about the struggles of my life to get him whatever he wants
I respect him, no tonting n calm ntry my best but he don't like even I say a single advice... He always blame me for the things I don't say or do... Just to prove his misbehave is right
Disrespect towards teachers!!
Thank you for sharing. I'm sure that's really frustrating.
Using F word so casually all the time..
My teen didn't follow routine
I’m have been staying calm and respectful but her behaviour is getting worse
We remind & they blurt out ; Wait .. Later.. Annoying. Ops..itz when using You....
Constant silent treatment
How do we contact you?
You can contact me via this page: www.daniel-wong.com/contact/
Average 3 hours on tiktok, late homework, lazy, doesn't clean their room or shower. Where do you start with that? Lol
Talk back or walk away
I feel like this dude is promoting social media. This is not OK in my household social media is an influence to the children and the stuff that they’re watching is also influence. No, I will not tolerate my child to be influence by the world..
This is stupid Tough love and hard nosed parenting is what kids need now more than ever. Take the phones and consoles laptops and tablets Tvs and make them earn them back w good behavior. Period
Gaslighting teens my stepdaughter does it all the time and I don’t even know where she learns it from
🎉🎉🎉
clearly you don’t have or live with a teenage child who you’re parenting into becoming a contributor to society. Nothing of what you said is going to get them to respond or be respectful. i.e he complains about eating dinner, doesn’t like anything. you go through the trouble to buy what they like, prepare it the way they like only for them to find something to complain about, or eat a couple of bites and say they’re full or tell you they’re going to a friends house, without having said anything about it as they know it’s dinner time….and that, like I said, is one example of hundreds occurring every week.
I’m scared of my teen daughter she’s violent so I don’t talk to her anymore
When you’re disrespectful and you don’t respect your parents which it’s 12 times in the Bible, you lose your freedom you lose your voice and you lose control. If these are things that are important to the toxic teens, then they shouldn’t be so abusive.
Educating a child is not giving them total control of absolutely everything just because "our woke generation gives more power to children than to parents". This is crazy stupid hippie stuff. When you are already treating them with respect and trusting them, but they still break that trust regularly and still disrespect everything no matter what because it's what kids their age tend to do, hippie suggestions (the ones YT is riddled with, like this one) are stupid and DO NOT (!!!) work.
There is a balance between giving them full control and giving them "more power". I grew up fearing that any little false steps would get me punished and ended up in an abusive relationship because I just felt like that was "normal". Fear-based authority is not a good way to be parented either...
@@Krokador being fear-based and respect-based are two different things. Adults must keep the control over little brats. My sister is using "positive education" with her daughter, and yes my niece is a fun child and whatnot, BUT she feels entitled because her parents rarely say no to her, and when they do there are no repercussions, therefore the child thinks it's ok to keep doing it. The same thing happens with the justice, btw. And one day my niece was poking a dog's eye, I told her to stop doing that because it's bad and she wouldn't want me to do that to her. She stared at me with a grin, while poking the dog's eye again. I complained to my sister, who took her defence. This is bad parenting, period.
Act like they don't care about me or my husband or all. Rolling eyes, being rude, etc. Teen girls, it wasn't a problem with my son
#2….ridiculous….seriously?
Why? Why? Why? Questioning every instruction.
I don't get it how do I get my lazy stealing, breaks 200 dollars equipment out anger teen to realize he's not the victim without saying you are breaking my stuff out of anger. Your being self centered and you are feeling sorry for your self .I'm pretty sure they need to know what kinda behavior there doing is how they will be presevied
You completely lost my interest when you said "you need to show them respect" 😂
You work for 40yrs to have $1M in your retirement, meanwhile some people are putting just $10K in crypto from just few months ago and now they are multimillionaires..
That's great! I'm motivated too! How can we achieve this challenge?
No specific one really, because there are lots of investment plans and strategies littered all over the internet today, for instance, investments like real estates,gold, drop shipping crypto currency and lots more
I've heard alot about crypto currency investments and how effective it can grow your income! Any recommendations on a guide?
@@chrismorgan1054Thanks so much for the recommendation, I will look into it.
For me,I would say Gold are profitable but Crypto has been the best so far
my teen tells me to keep quite
It starts when they are toddlers, not when they are teens. Parents today are their kids little friends, that is why they are disrespectful to you. It is not hard, spare rhe rod, spoil thr child. Even if you don't believe in spanking, there are ways to discipline your children. Lastly for God's sake, quit blaming CPS, they do not want your children!!
Don't have kids
I think you are being too forgiving. Children are herded around because they can't take care of themselves.