Growing up Chinese Dutch: Who am I?
“Where are you REALLY from? Do you eat noodles every day? Oh wow, your Dutch is so good!"
Yes-these are some common questions minorities get growing up in a western world…but did you know that there are about a million people of Asian descent in the Netherlands? (6% of the total population)?
Many people of color grow up in a society wanting to fit into a world that looks nothing like them. So...what is it like to grow up Chinese Dutch?
Hope you enjoy this conversation about the experience, challenges, and uniqueness of being Chinese Dutch. Enjoy and be kind!
⏰ CHAPTERS:
00:00 Intro
01:11 Growing up in a small Dutch town
04:24 Growing up in a Chinese family
06:23 Discrimination
10:01 What is your identity?
14:30 Stereotypes of Chinese people
16:32 What would you like to tell others about "who you are?"
17:20 Ending
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😁 WHO AM I?
I'm David, a Californian living in Amsterdam. I make videos about life in the Netherlands, hiking/traveling, and the Camino de Santiago.
🔸 If you live in the Netherlands, I'd love to hear your story and interview you.
Email: hidavidwen@gmail.com
#asianeuropean #identitycrisis #lifeinthenetherlands
"Where are you really from?" Have you ever felt like you didn't belong in society based on the way you look? I'd love to hear about your experiences. And remember that we are all human.💙
@Elnaz Afarin Yes and in china we are called white monkeys, what is the point?
I think asians should ask themselves why do they always want to integrate into a white society and what is the benefit of doing so rather than blame others for treating them differently. You don't see the opposite where white people trying to integrate into asian society in huge waves generations after generations because such practices are just not culturally and genetically ingrained in white people that they would culturally removed themselves from their own natural society. And when they see another community intentionally doing so in such scale, they would naturally question such phenomenon. Why don't any asian people explain why do asian people intentionally want to remove themselves from their place of origin and try so hard to integrate into white society at such humongous scale? what's the reason for doing that? obviously they are different and there's no reason to think they are white, it'll be stupid to do somas suggested by asian people that they shd be treated as white. why???
0:02 I’ve loved every one of these interviews! I’m Dutch Indonesian living in Australia and I’m part indigenous too! I relate to these experiences. Would love to see one with someone who is Dutch-Indo!
A Chinese living in the German-speaking part of Switzerland here. But the only citizenship I have is French. "Where do you come from?" is a difficult question for me. It feels weird and funny at the same time :)
That question really shouldn't be asked. Made-up barriers in human society shouldn't get in the way of human unity and cooperation
54-yo Surinamese-Dutch woman who's been living in the Netherlands for 50 years who has known that crushing feeling of not belonging while being a teen: one day I just decided that I don't have to be Dutch or Surinamese - I just needed to be ME. It was only after that spiritually evolution/realisation/acceptance, that I was finally able to break free from all these boxes people tend to put you in (and you yourself) So, yes, I am Dutch and Surinamese, I'm both, but I'm also so much more. What a privilege and enrichment to be so multi-racial and multi-cultural!!! So I would like to tell this beautiful young woman: embrace your uniqueness. You are lightyears ahead of so many people who only know one culture or one identity. Acknowledge and accept your uniqueness, and then you will realise that you have so many advantages as being a child of two cultures! I have friends from all over the world, and they all agree on one thing: I have no problem connecting with all of these different cultures and it often baffles them. Why? Because since my awakening, I started to see and focus more on the similarities that each and every one of us share instead of longing to belong to just one or two groups. Claim your freedom and just be YOU! Much love and happiness to you, you wonderful young lady❤
Thanks for sharing, that’s so important. To finally feel like ourselves and accepting it. I’ll share with her :) Take care now 🙏
This nearly made me cry. In the current days it often worries me how much people are obsessed with group identity. Its so against original western values.
My husband is Filipino, who lives here now 5 years. He faces so much discrimination. Very nice interview. Keep it up!
Thanks for the kind words Sven. I'm so sorry to hear about your husband =/ He sounds resilient though. Sending over lots of positive energy
Great honest conversation. Being Dutch I always thought we were open to other cultures Well apparently that's not what you feel being stuck here. But conversations like this and showing us "the Dutchas we are " is a great mirror. We can do better than this. And , you know most of us, want to do better than this. Thank you for this contribution.
Thanks Ruud for the kind words and for sharing your perspective. I think if we can listen more to each other as humans, we can go a lot further in life and together as a society.
Don't feel bad, it's like that worldwide where the majority are white. It's sometimes subconcious. When your race has held the power and money for the longest time, it feels normal to feel that you are better. It's social programming from the schools and the movies. Even the latest "woke" fad is more the LBGQT who are mostly white than about the Asians, Latinos and even the Blacks.
It depends where you live. In big cities it's not that bad at all. In smaller cities you might get that. For me coming to Holland was a great experience compared to where I came from (UK and Belgium) Sure I did have a few of those interactions, but overall the last 30 years it's been way better.
@sentokigames151 In big cities people are way more likely to scream at you for no reason.😅
Nice to see this conversation. As an Chinese adoptee I grew up in the Netherlands around the area Leiden/ Gouda. In my 28 years here in the Netherlands, I faced some racism and people set it off as 'jokes'. Most of the time I put a smile on my face and pretend it doesn't hurt. But as I grow older, that doesn't work always. Yes I believe in educating people, IF there are genuine with their questions. However, sometimes I am a bit tired of explaining where I'm from, what adoption basically is and what it means. One time I had a really funny situation because of my Chinese look. I really needed to put new fuel in my car, so I stopped at a highway station. I rather not do that because it's more expensive, than in a village/town. I ended up in line between a group of real Asian tourists. Their touring car had a break or needed fuel as well. So when it was my turn to talk to the cashier, he began in English, which I totally understood in that situation. But I talked back to him in Dutch" Ik heb zojuist getanked bij pomp 3 en ik wil graag afrekenen". His face went a split second to 'uh WHAT?! , but he said with a more straight face "dat wordt dan ... euro aub". I smiled to him. And it was all good. xD I would like to come in contact through a facebook page/group with more/other Asian people who live here in the Netherlands.
Thanks for sharing your story :) I can also relate in some ways too. These “jokes” can actually cause long lasting effects on us as adults…so it’s good to speak out and not let them stay stuck inside. Good for you And there is a group called “Asian Raisins”-they have a Facebook group and instagram page. I went to one of their events and it was nice to connect with this community asianraisins.nl/
@@hidavidwen Thank you for your reply. I heard of Asian Raisins before, but didn't look into it. Good reminder to do so now!
what you just described, the cashier shocked at the fact that you can speak dutch, happens to me all. the. fucking. time.
I'm Indonesian dutch. I'm born in the Netherlands, my ancestors were Dutch & Belgium. This girl is a normal basic dutch girl to me!
Yes! Thanks for acknowledging this
You're half-Indonesian? Which side of your parents is Indonesian, and from which region? And can you speak, or at least understand, Indonesian too?
Ik zou je zo graag een moment willen laten voelen, wat ik er bij voel dat je Nederlandse bent en in Nederland woont. Ik vind het vreselijk dat mensen (en misschien ik ook wel) je doen twijfelen aan je gevoel van thuishoren. Of dat nu gemeend of onbedoeld is uit onwetendheid of dommigheid of racisme. Gelukkig ben je een sterke vrouw 🥹
Thanks Carla for the kind words. My friend saw this and appreciated your comment (you are "so sweet"). Thanks for spreading kindness =)
Hoi Carla, het erge is dat sommige (ik chargeer nu) "witte" Nederlanders het nog geen eens zelf in de gaten hebben dat ze je anders behandelen. Soms word je op momenten waarop je niet zit te wachten er weer mee geconfronteerd. Ik zal je een voorbeeld geven: als ik als Chinees in een supermarkt bij de kassa sta dan denkten sommige (meestal jonge) kassieres dat ik helemaal geen Nederlands praat en word er anders tegen mij gedaan dan tegen de "witte" meneer voor mij (dat zijn dus geen positieve reacties). Jij moet je bewijzen voordat er "normaal" tegen je wordt gedaan. Ik betaal ook meestal bij de scankassa om dit soort reacties te voorkomen.
You know, the very first Dutch person I ever met was actually Chinese Dutch. I was working in his lab for the summer. Subverted my expectations because his directness was very Dutch 😆
Hey Chris - haha interesting. Yeah I’ve also noticed that with some Asian Dutch friends. Quite a contrast since Asians are generally quite passive. Yes that’s definitely their Dutch side!
Hi! This is one of the few videos on YT that I can relate to. Thanks for making it and keep it up ❤
Thank you for sharing the story ❤️
Thanks for watching =)
Manlitje, so glad to hear your story and David thank you for sharing it.
Thanks Zhanna =)
Part of breaking stereotypes is also educating the people who ask the question or try to confirm if said stereotypes are true. I think it is good that the girl from that small town/village dared to ask that question. Because it is a subject for a nice conversation and with it you have the opportunity to educate her about you, your culture and that not all stereotypes are true. I have been in similar situations before being an Indonesian/Dutch mix and ever since I became a teenager I have enjoyed those questions and have ended up with a lot of good contacts, friends and evenings because I always tried to stimulate people asking those kind of questions. We should also not squander sincere curiosity, if we do, that will only widen the gap between cultures. Nice video, good talk. Keep up the good work.❤
Thanks! You're right. I think we should engage people when they ask these questions/make comments. Sometimes it's out of curiosity. Or ignorance. Education is key.
On the other hand. The burden of educating people is put on the minority, while the majority don’t need the need to put in the effort to educate them selves.
I like your gentle interviewing style David.
Thanks David for all the interviews your are doing on your channel. Loving them. I live in Japan and most/all "mixed roots" people I know also have issues mentioned in the video.
Thanks Thomas! Yeah it’s a topic I’m interested in as I am Asian American and so I can understand. I love Japan…everyone I’ve talked to recently plans to go there next year hah. Maybe a sign. Hope you’re enjoying Japan!
was a good interview/talk keep up the good work
Thanks 🙏🙏
Thank you so much for this story :D
Thanks for watching 🙏
Hey guys, as a new immigrant in the United States, who is also planning to come to the NL one day, topics like these always make me tick. And brings a lot of thinking! I can totally feel your struggles, and hoping that everything could be a little better tomorrow. Anyway, best of luck!
Best of luck Haiwen in 2023 and beyond!
Very interesting and insightful conversation. Very important and relavent topics that every immigrant would face
Great video David!
Thanks Garrett! Hope all is well
I am from Indonesia, but I am of Chinese descent, and I am currently studying in the Netherlands. There have been times when people approached me and said something related to China, and usually they said "ni hao ma?". Two instances were in the university. One of them was when two Chinese students (like really from China) approached me and asked whether I'm Chinese, and another was when my professor asked whether I'm Chinese (because we just had a lecture about China being one of the largest contributors to carbon emission); I talked to them both that I'm from Indonesia. On the other hand, there were only two cases when people correctly guessed where I'm really from, and they're old people and not even from the university. This video is truly eye-opening as I learned how a Chinese Dutch goes about their lives, something I didn't experience in Indonesia because everyone learns to live with one another regardless of looks, culture and languages (at least in Jakarta, where I'm from). P.S. I kinda share your sentiment, David, regarding your parents' struggles. You see, in Indonesia, the Chinese community was heavily discriminated between the 60s and late 90s, because Indonesia was anti-communist, and my parents couldn't enjoy their lives without someone calling them Chinese or something racially slur. By 1998, the country had huge reforms, especially after the Asian Financial Crisis, in which the discrimination has declined significantly, and that the Chinese culture began to revive. Although my family is also family-oriented, my mother encouraged me to follow my passion, and I too made a big step by studying in the Netherlands. Also, "Babi panggang" is more of a Chinese-Indonesian thing IMO, since it literally means "roasted pig" in Indonesian (the word is even Indonesian).
Thanks for sharing especially as Indonesian Chinese…I’ve also learned to recently accept my identities for what they are…a unique part of Me 🙏🙏
During my time in elementary school, in the Netherlands, during the 2010s, I remember never realising that a different appearance meant a different background or culture or race or experience. Of course I knew on some superficial level that something was an 'asian' or 'black' appearance, but it never clicked with me that that might mean they were foreign. All of the other children were just Dutch to me. I've got two interesting anecdotes to go with this. One is a bit specific to Dutch culture, but I think it should be understandable regardless of your level of awareness. As a kid, I had never seen Stef Bos (a famous Dutch singer), but based on his voice I always imagined he was black. It was just an image, and I never linked it with anything beyond that, it was just like idk hair colour or something. The second anecdote is something I discovered more recently that gave me a new perspective on racism in my childhood. As kind of already stated, I was never aware of any discrimination. So you can imagine my surprise when I read that Petra (not her actual name, but she had/used a Dutch name) had written as a response to the question "What don't you like about yourself?" that she hated her Korean eyes. For one, I had never noticed this sentiment in her, nor had I even known she was Korean (I was in the same class as her for 2,5 years in total). To have an asian person raised in a western country say they don't like the shape of their eyes is such a common thing to hear. And still it was strange to think someone who grew up in/around my environment developed such an image of herself. I wonder why it was formed, how (un)subtle it was.
I grew up in a small town in the Netherlands (Zwolle). I didn’t think people were racist at all there, except for the occasional unintended comment or when you show up with a large Asian group. I coped with it by trying to be Dutcher than Dutch. Dress better, behave better, even talk better. Then I moved to Sydney, Australia and never felt like being stared at again.
Thanks for sharing…oh yeah I know the feeling… How are you doing in Sydney?
I watched and listened with amazement. Unbelievable that this still is an issue in this day and age. There is so much global travel and immigration. For people to still place people in boxes is total ignorance. When you encounter individuals who don't see the bigger picture, as well as being close minded and just travel in their own little circle, you will encounter this kind of stupidity. We are all citizens of this Universe, let's celebrate our differences and embrace one another. 😍 loved the video.
Yet, there are political parties thriving on focussing on differences.
Thanks Ellen for watching and sharing your insights. We do still live in a world where people place people in boxes...and it's unfortunate. But love your message. Yes, we are all citizens of this Universe...and I think being open to learn and understand from one another is a first step to bridging that gap-that hey, we are all people with similar challenges and dreams.
Great video 👍
Thanks Chris!
This is very, very, very interesting. You call her Chinese Dutch . Hmmmmm, what are my adopted daughters then? Dutch Chinese ?? :-) Our daughters were really born in China and grew up in the Netherlands with us (Dutch parents). Our eldest daughter always says: I am a banana. Yellow on the outside, but white on the inside. Just kidding of course. But it's very interesting what this young lady says about what she's been through being Chinese. We live in Hoofddorp, you know that, and they both went to quite multicultural schools there. They have also never experienced any kind of discrimination. Well, we have also raised them in such a way that if it happened that they would say something vicious back :-) When we were in China with our daughters a few years ago, we noticed that the Chinese saw that our daughters were different. Maybe it was the clothes or the hairstyle. We had given our daughter cards that stated in Chinese that they looked Chinese, but that they were not Chinese, but Dutch and that they did not speak Chinese. This caused great confusion among many Chinese. We had to laugh about that every now and then. But this is a nice conversation! Very interesting!
Thanks for sharing Bert. I am now super curious to hear about your daughters' experiences 😁 But glad to hear they've been raised the right way and never experienced discrimination. I know Hoofddorp quite well (well mainly around the train station ahha), and I think being in multicultural environments definitely help. Haha I can understand your experiences in China. My family and cousins all think of me as a foreigner too (with Chinese roots). People also know that I am not from there based on the way I "look" and dress. I think there is more understanding in the big cities...but when I studied in China back in 2008, many people were still confused that one could look Chinese but not speak the language. But yeah...challenging but I'd like to think it makes the world and life more interesting =)
Maybe you do an interview with David as I am an Asian Indian in Europe Italy
I think it really depends where people are. Because I live in a diverse area and there was no discrimination here either. Everybody was seen as the same and I was friends with the whole classroom XD.
In Australia my friends like ABC- Australian-born Chinese. Perhaps Chinese-born Dutch?
Your daughters are still Chinese Dutch. After all they are Dutch (China doesn't recognize dual nationality).
Thank you for this nice video! I did not get her name, but I am so sorry to hear about her experience growing up here in the Netherlands. I think people were (are) so ignorant! The people in the Netherlands with as Asian background never stood out, because they assimilated the best in fact, what meant they kept silent about the racism. It wasn't till I read the book of Pete Wu (De bananengeratie) that I became aware of this. I know that in the small town I lived people loved to go to the Chinese restaurant, but that was also the end of their love. I do not think this family got integreted into the community at all. I am born in the Netherlands, my parents too, but some grandparents came from different countries. I am not tall, blond with blue eyes. My hair, eyes and skin are darker than most people here. When I was a child people assumed I was a "halfblood" because of my skin. A lot of people have asked me where I am from or my family has come from. A lot of people did not ask and assumed I was Indonesian, Asian, Spanish or even afro-american. Sometimes, especially from men, this felt really wrong, as if it was a fetish.
Thanks Mai for sharing your experiences. Yeah I know Asian people usually keep quiet about such things…it’s part of our culture (eg. The need to preserve social harmony and order) but I do think we need to start speaking out especially in western societies where you kind of need to (eg. rise up the corporate ranks). Yeah I also became aware of Pete Wu’s work recently too. I think it’s good minorities and underrepresented groups are getting more attention. Appreciate you :)
I am dutch and i like this vid very much!!! We are all human!!! Respect and love is the best remedie for this world we live in.. Very honest video!!!!
For me she is a Dutch girl , period , we are so many , part of our history , myself , yes , 1.98m tall and sort of blond , but omg I have greenish eyes....
im dutch and korean living in the netherlands but it is so hard being 50% asian in a western country but also in asia bc you feel like u dont belong anywhere like in the netherlands they dont want u there bc ur too ''asian'' and in asia ur too ''white'' so u never really feel like u belong anywhere actually which kinda sucks. At school i also face alot of racism and discrimination just for being ''asian'' im so happy to see that im not the only one and i hope i can help other asians with this struggle and help them stand up for them selves
Hey Amber - thanks for sharing. In many ways, I can relate. It's especially hard being in school...some kids can be mean. But you're not alone. And I hope you get through it. And I hope one day-or maybe you already have-that you get to embrace the uniqueness of who you are...your different cultures...and your identities =) I recently came across a group for Asians in the Netherlands (Asian Raisins) and went to one of their events in Amsterdam. It was nice to hear similar stories and to be in the community. Check them out, they have an Instagram and Discord server too asianraisins.nl/en/home-english/
@@hidavidwen thank you so much for the comment and the link i check it out
I like that phrase. Having some ancestry besides pale northern European, "I am a colorful person." Yes!
Asian people as in Indonesian, are considered Dutch actually, by anyone who knows our history.
Thanks for sharing. And now I've learned that a big part of Dutch culture (and food) is Indonesian too.
In the official stats regarding income, education, crime etc at least, because there is no difference in those stats anyway.
Do you feel any Dutch connection?.
I find that often fighting a difference keeps that difference alive. Just like how trying to battle an emotion keeps it alive. Having a black history month while has good intentions keeps in your minds that there are differences. While it's all nice, some people or even many people in unfavorable situations might use that difference. You connected with her on being asian, which is nice, but this same thing can be used to isolate people in groups which you discuss. Maybe the solution is to see each other only as living beings with kindness, not create groups even if it feels good.
Thanks Max. Yeah I wish we could all treat people like humans…don’t know what the solution is. But yeah the goal isn’t to create more siloes but to create more understanding of each other
@@hidavidwen the solution is more individualism instead of collectivism.
Any "white" person (Dutch, British, etc.) will face the same discrimination if he moves to live in an Asian country like China, Japan, etc, so this situation only tells us about the limited mind of people of mono-racial (monoethnic) societies/countries around the world, not that there is more discrimination in any particular country. P.S. I'm neither Dutch nor Chinese, in case anyone is wondering
Thanks for sharing Gill. True. Not saying there isn't more or less discrimination-just highlighting the experiences of people that many may not understand. And hopefully a better understanding of each other will lead to a better society,.
It wud be less
Wow David, you are talented: I see you diving into someone's psyche and peeling off the layers. Very professional! Bravo! Your friend has the right attitude in a Western multicultural society, now that she is an adult. I guess, growing up in a predominantly white society (and being different) can be challenging for a child and sometimes even damaging. I also have Asian ancestors (who mixed with other races), but I was born in Surinam and lived there for 20 years before I moved to the Netherlands. Being treated differently and experiencing hesitance or prejudice was difficult and strange in the beginning: in Surinam, people (of different races) live together as Surinamese and not as individuals from a subculture. Of course these differences are apparent and recognized, but they never lead to exclusion or hostilities. You grow up together and share happiness and misery. In retrospect: having had these awesome years, while growing up, WAS the enrichment! But I think, experiencing racial disparities makes you stronger and NOT weaker: you make antibodies and focus on your own progress. Once you're independent, secure and happy with yourself and your wellbeing, these things become of minor or no importance. You realize that people who act this way, are mostly narrow-minded, not that happy with themselves or the situation they are in. But I think, this is human behavior which is not exclusively encountered in Western societies (maybe more, when they're wealthy or individualistic). So I would not carry this burden, but use this energy to develop and empower yourself. I think your friend has grasped this and is now focused on her own life, which is very wise! And maybe you should consider switching or expanding your career 🙃. Keep up the good work!
Thanks for the kind words Kenneth and for sharing! Very inspirational. Wow growing in Suriname…I would love to hear more about that. How was it like transitioning to the Netherlands? I just talked to someone Surinamese Indian and will publish that soon. Would love to hear your thoughts!
@@hidavidwen Hey David, thanks for the attention! To get a good impression of Surinam, here is a full documentary of a well presented tour in 2020: kzhead.info/sun/rK6bcdt9n4GAZo0/bejne.html Especially the food and the nature parts were great: I loved it! But there are shorter videos on his channel, though. Transitioning to the Netherlands was not that difficult, because I grew up with Dutch people around me and enjoyed our (Western influenced) mixed culture. Also, in school we were taught a lot about the Dutch history and geography: we had Dutch classes, because it also was (and is) our national language. We were sometimes reprimanded to speak Dutch, when we spoke the native Surinamese language (Sranan tongo) among friends. I also had some “white” friends: mostly descendants from Dutch farmers (we called them “boeroes”: from “boer”). But as I mentioned earlier, I grew up with friends from different cultures and that was nothing exceptional (but all the more inspiring). So being treated differently in the Netherlands, was a real wake-up moment. But you readjust with no hard feelings. And I still have my own values as my guidance: Like any machine, a human being only has a certain amount of energy and a limited lifespan. You can choose to use that time and energy to feed yourself with negativity and become a bitter, grumpy person (“azijnpisser”: peeing vinegar) or you can feed yourself with knowledge to improve your social status or to make yourself useful for the society: the choice is yours. But at the end of my life, I would rather look back with satisfaction on a positive, harmonious, productive and meaningful life. Growing up with different cultures has taught me to never judge a book by its cover and to always treat other people with respect. It has also made me aware, that real friendships between people of different cultures make their “differences” disappear! But making friends is always personal: you get along or you don't, regardless of the culture! My beloved aunt, who sadly passed away a couple of years ago, was mixed race: European and Asian. In her younger years, she was a very pretty European-looking lady, admired for her looks and attractiveness. As she grew old, the Asian DNA increasingly dominated and she became a sweet old, adorable and beautiful Asian-looking grandma: I still miss her very much! Maybe, some centuries from now, the differences between the races will have disappeared when all humans have become mixed race or more inclusive. It took Surinam several generations to get where they are now, and they're still not there yet. So we can't expect this world to change overnight, though we CAN work on it! In the end, we are all just human beings: but as a bonus, being mixed race makes life so much more surprising! Looking forward to your next videos.
Great and interesting video. I can comply to what you are saying. Unfortunately the 'discrimination' does not only happen to people with a different skin colour. For me being born in Amsterdam but from German descent your conversation on this topic sounds very familiar in some senses. Mind you that I grew up in Amsterdam and not in a small village in Friesland. 😁
Thanks for sharing. Yeah sorry to hear that you’ve also experienced discrimination as one with German roots. Discrimination just sucks in general..let’s work to eliminate it
It will always be anywhere.... and of course the German history we have here still sticks with some people.
I grew up and went to school in the province of Drenthe. We have a lot of people here with indonesian and/or moluccan roots. I went to school with them, some were my friends and I considered them Dutch just with a twist just like I see most people who have Dutch pasport but with different roots than most Dutch people. In the end even native Dutch people are not a monolith. I did several tests and I'm not fully Dutch/German. I'm part Finish, scandinavian (Denmark I guess) and English
Thanks for sharing Robin. Oh, was it a surprise to find that you are Finnish/Scandinavian/English?
@@hidavidwen it really was, it's kind of a mystery. The Finnish, scandinavian and english part make up 35% of my DNA and nobody in the family really understands why including me. Must have been fairly recent to be such an amount.
Commercial DNA kits show continental or sub regional "estimates", these were often sourced by early testers and verified, or bought from an already existing database.. It's mostly for fun. The Scandinavian is most likely an oversimplification of modern (mid-northern) Dutch DNA. Frisians, jutes, angles around your area and more north left their area's for England, thus sharing DNA in modern results (English?). Even the saxons did but in less mass diaspora. (This is were "anglo-Saxons" denomination came from) The vacuum (some stayed, ofc) up north got heavily influenced again by the Northman from northern Europe, archeological DNA shows that most inhabiting Frisia after those waves had significant high proportion or almost only Swedish DNA, most stayed and integrated in those regions. (The Swede also have 1/5th Finnish DNA on avg.) There have also been more influx of northern DNA like the Swedes coming for a better life or academics as far as the feudal age till the 1700's.. I really want to dig it out for yourself, I suggest diving into the local church or municipality archive and dig your way back, if you're fortunate you can go further than the 1700's.. It can be a real pain to filter though and Factcheck if they're related and such. But this way I also found out some pretty interesting stuff which I couldn't achieve with a DNA testing kit, like the Swedish immigrant stuff, some nobility, hugenoten from France, etc..
If her parents owned a Chinese family restaurant like there are in many small Dutch towns, it could give her struggles, as her parents would be intentionaly profiling themselves as Chinese. Not her choice. I missed that part about her parents and how she is trying to find her own path.She comes over as a pioneer
I can really relate to this, I was born in The Netherlands. My parents were the first generation of Chinese immigrants coming to Amsterdam. Our family was one of the first families. My dad lived in The Netherlands before Worldwar 2. After he married my mom in China ( he went back there to get married) she came in 1960. At that time there weren't as many Chinese people in the Netherlands as now. I was the oldest, so basically grew up in 2 cultures. It was a real struggle. Thankfully I did not experience too much racism in school,_ except from the PE teacher in primary school. He was a horrible man_and except for the occasiona "ching chang chong" comment . For quite a while my brother and I were the only Chinese children in school..It was a real struggle , as my parents esp. my mom had very Chinese ways of doing things , which were very different from the way dutch people did things. , I think being the oldest was also very hard. The younger sibblings had it a lot easier, as my mom started to accet and understand the dutch culture more.
Thanks for sharing Joanna. Your family's story sounds like my family's story in the US. And also my own upbringing. I can also relate to your struggles in some way-but not all-because I grew up with a lot of Asians in California. But definitely stuck between 2 cultures (3 now with Dutch European?? haha)... you're not alone and thanks for sharing =)
Like racism is never good and we should treat everyone the same but as an ethnic native of the Netherlands with a lot of Asian friends (both international students and "Chinese Dutch") I feel like it is sometimes also some fault of the "Chinese Dutch" in this case themself. Not saying it is their fault people are racist of course! I consider my chinese dutch friend just as dutch. I dont treat her like any different at all. It is often her that points out the differences between us. Yesterday during the liberation festivel she for example mentioned "You are a Dutch guy so you can drink a lot" and some time ago as well she told me "Are you sure you want spicy most Dutch guys can't have that". I personally never make comments like that about her back. I don't mind it, but if she keeps pointing out the differences between her and others, it makes sense that others also treat her differently.
Thanks Kuon. True. We should try to treat people as people (and the same). And I think you make a good point too. Often times…what we say…we don’t think it may offend another person. But it could. Also “how” something is said matters too…i wonder what the “intention” is behind your friend when she says those things. Either it could be nothing and just jokes…or maybe something deeper?
@@hidavidwen Don't get me wrong I am not offended by it or anything and I think it is mostly just joking. I feel like it is something natural for immigrants (and their children) to stick to the identity of their origins. I just feel like if you stick a lot to that identity and make a lot of jokes about it you separate yourself more from the others in your environment and at the same time unconsciously reinforce stereotypes people already had about you. As she mentioned I am not good with spices so she must be because she is Asian, and as a Dutch person, I can drink a lot so she probably can't because she is Asian.
I wonder if David will film a travel series 😀
Hey hey - Oh I'd love to do some more traveling but not easy with a full-time job...but maybe that can be my full-time job one day? =) But yes I have some travel ideas/plans for 2023!
@@hidavidwen I thought Europeans had 30 days of vacation a year? That’s a lot compared to Canadian standards 😀 Where are you thinking of traveling to next year, David? 😊
@@mongoliagolia9172 true people get a lot of vacation and take them in Europe! The challenge is once you get into this mindset of well…having more work life balance..you just want even more days hah. I’d love to go back to Nepal to do hiking or go to the Dolomites in Italy!
My neighbours are Chinese. Although they still don't speak Dutch very well after 40 years, their children are Dutch and I see them as such. I also have no problem with their parents, who are just my neighbours as far as I'm concerned, just like the "Dutch" people in my street. As far as I'm aware, the same goes for my other neighbours. Maybe by just focusing on people's negative experiences you project a somewhat warped image of how Dutch people are.
You do not represent all Dutch people. I rather believe her experiences than yours. You will never understand becuase it never ever happened to you once.
@@joeiborowski9763 Nor does this video represent all Dutch people. I have had bad experiences with Dutch people myself, and I am Dutch. I just wanted to add some nuance. If you only ask people if they have had negative experiences with Dutch (or any kind of) people, you will create a distorted vew.
As a teen, I was shocked to see blond or red haired Hispanic, Italian and Greek Americans, or Middle Eastern Americans with the same colored hair. But then I learned about how each group immigrated to various countries.
True…it’s interesting to hear as I have the opposite experience. I grew up in diverse US cities and so I thought the norm was seeing people of all cultures. But then of course that is not the case
Foreigners often think of Dutch people as open minded but reality is much different actually
Thanks for sharing. Can you elaborate? Curious to hear more...
Just do not confuse directness with tolerance or open mindness. That's all. With time you will know what I mean 😉. In Belgium for instance the Dutch are not considered 'aangename, gezellige mensen' but 'dikke nekken'. You may find this strange because they are neighbours and they speak the same language. But the difference lays deep underneath and is based on the tradition of Catholicism and Protestantism. Oh it's complicated 😕
Dutch are incredibly open minded
My children mixed Dutch, Moroccan, American, Chinese ❤
Great conversation
Thanks!
@@hidavidwenwhy these girl so rascist, she seems to have problem with dutch been white
Your Dutch in my book!
Asian and Dutch mix could be a pretty interesting mix since Dutch people are the tallest country in the world. Asians on the other hand are usually short so you never know what you'll get with this mix.
How do you look ? You look great.
Yes. Dutch Chinese💪🏻. Pokkai. That sounds good.
👍
''Where are you from?'' is a COMPLETELY normal question! People should stop being os sensitive! I am an Armenian from Vienna Austra and you can ask me that as many times as you want I see 0 reason to be insulted
Thanks for sharing. I think it depends like everything…’how’ it is asked and the intention. It could be curiosity but… It’s not being sensitive. Humans have a natural need to belong in a community. And one of the worst things is to feel like you don’t because of the way you look. And people constantly asking you that or not believing you. It’s tiring. I get it as well…
@@hidavidwen well so do I! I am West Asian, I am of Armenian descent and here in Vienna almost everybody ask me where I am from and I don’t make a big deal out of! I am not ashamed of my heritage and I don’t see the problem here
I'm Dutch living in Belgium, previously also in France, Germany and Luxemburg. I get the question almost daily:: "you are Dutch, right?", although "white", blond and, to Dutch standards, small. I never got the question in France or Germany, but in Luxemburg, they always treated me ""Belgian", which wasn't that positive. I emigrated hen I as 14. Before that, I went to a school in The Hague, where I was addressed as the tiny one, or the villager. I don't really consider it as discrimination, it's merely either fear or curiosity in regard to changes and differences. It could as well be your accent/dialect. The worst discrimination I encountered was while travelling in Africa, to be honest. But again....fear of the unknown?
Thanks for sharing Freja. Interesting to hear your perspective. Is there a difference between how Dutch and Belgians are treated? Yeah...I think what's important is the "intention" behind the questions. For some, you can tell if it is out of curiosity or out of ignorance.
I am mixed myself with domantly white and black. I have a really nice Chinese friend. I have never experienced the racism she has faced. I got so mad that I once smacked the door in someone face. People are sensitive about racism and black people, but somehow they feel oke to constanly say stuff to asian people. Some not racist, but just deep cultural brain stopped working, owe shoot that was racist. I wasn't aware untill I hung out with her. I even had to correct my black dad who was convinced he was not rasist, he was! So I am very sorry, apparently awarness comes in level by level
Wow thanks for sharing. I think you have a point...and we're starting to see more people talking about Asian hate crimes in the media (and in the US) because of recent events over the past few years. I think a lot of it is due to Asian culture-keep your head down, prevent conflict, preserve group harmony. There has always been Asian hate crimes...but it's just not spoken about. But more and more are talking about it. Social media also helps for these voices to speak out too. Glad to hear you speak up and also be an ally, thank you =)
I am a Chinese man of 50 and live almost all my live in the Netherlands. I have experienced and still experience the same as what your friend has experienced. Everywhere in the world discrimination exists, so also in the Netherlands. As Chinese person you don't look like the majority of the "white" people in the Netherlands and you will never 100% be accepted. I called it "nuanced discrimination", you are being in a nuanced way treated different. In my childhood I have struggled a lot with it and didn't understand why even if I do exact the same as the other (white) guy I am being treated differently. I can now better handle this but at moments it's still difficult. A lot of "white" Dutch people don't realize that and even think that the Netherlands is a very tolerant country, but in reality as Chinese/Asian you will encounter al lot of "nuanced discrimination" in your daily life. Only based on your looks people (unconsciously) put you in box. You often have to prove yourself.
Hi Boy - thanks for sharing. That is unfortunate to hear (nuanced discrimination)...but I get it and can relate as well. Certainly, I believe most people intend well, but they just don't know. And therefore there are a lot of "unconscious biases." And that is why hearing these stories and yours is so important...to hopefully help others "realize" what others go through. To build empathy.
I personally never said weird stuff to Asian neither to others. I live in a diverse place and had many different cultures in my classroom and I was friends with all of them, but I as a Dutch person witness other problems. I might be white but that doesn't mean that people are nice to me. I was bullied in school because of how I looked and funny enough I was bullied by other girls with a few that were no whites. I would say that its not a white or Asian thing its just bullies do what bullies do best. They will find your weakness and it depends if that is your looks, your personality, clothes, style, the way you speak, the hair colour(mainly red heads) etc. I have seen people being bullied for being a red head. I have seen people being bullied because they had white short hair. To me they said I was ugly and they were constantly staring at me as if I was weird and they spit in my face and they would kick against my back. And still now I am 27 years old I am called a 'boy' which I am not so I don't know why and 'ugly' randomly on the street. I would say that it's the best to ignore those dicks because it's not about you being Asian. It's about them wanting to make you feel bad because most of the times they are feeling bad. They can see what is most sensitive to you. I as a teenager wondered if there was anything I could do right since everything about me was basically being cast down. So I can understand where people come from.
Can a Dutch person call himself chinese
Where is the cat?
Hahaha here 🐱
To me, you are as Dutch as anyone!
:) She sure is, I’ll pass along the message
It feels weird when she says she doesn't feel like she is one of us because I would never assume her as being anything. If I hear her speak dutch I would know she is dutch and never assume she is anything else so I don't know where she grew up but hearing that it doesn't sound right.
Thanks Kelly for sharing-it also warms my heart to hear that too. I think for her...growing up 'looking different' from the rest of the kids...it wasn't easy. Of course there are (and will continue) to be those who won't see her as Dutch but I think over time, she has learned to accept her 'uniqueness' and the fact that she is Dutch, which is what matters the most.
I think it also depends where you live.
Under what circumstances and visa did their families immigrant. Where they refugees
Are you frim Hubei or Guangdong?
You forgot about the infamous hanky panky shanghai ‘birthday’ song. They still do it in elementary schools.
Oh yeah I talked about that in another video, and I went to an event that talked about that too. I hear it's less common now and was a thing of the past but...sounds like it's still in some schools =/
Colourfull person sounds weird to me because 'kleurrijk persoon' means a person with a distinct and funny character.
Thanks for sharing. Yeah I hope you know her intention though (“colored person”)
@hidavidwen it's sounds rather rascist.
It's just like that in all majority white countries. Racial biases is normal, even subconciously. It's just as bad in the US. That's why even in the year 2023, you see very few inter racial marriages, even among American born and raised generations and you see the same race hanging out together in groups at most social events. Racial biases are normal too in non white countries, but the bias there are almost always bias for the white minority. You see that in Asian and African countires when they see an average white woman or man that they considered "pretty", they always want to help them or take a picture with them. We live in a white dominant world where they control most of the power and the resources, therefore the culture of what is considered as "beauty" and desirable.
you see actually more white-black or asian-white inter marriage in the US than asian-black. white are actually the most open one. in germany you have almost no turkish ppl who marriage blacks, actually most are much more conservative anyway and want other turkish people (alevites are more open). similar in africa: its quite common in many countries that they just want that the children marriage ppl from the same country or in case of muslims just muslims (which is not just in africa the case but a general muslim discrimination thing against others). and lets face the reality: 'white' countries are the most liberal ones on the planet ... human rights are made by 'white men' (the hate prototyp of left rasicst - in the tradition of socialist/anticapitalist/antiwestern/antiliberal dictorships). abondoncy of slavery was also a 'white' thing, female rights and so on ... and you had also in 'white' countries often the attidute that they wante be more 'brown' (laying in the sun is still a thing) and all kind of ideals about others - culture relativism included. and we live also not in a 'white' dominated world: there are more countries in which non-whites rule. and actually, one of the REAL minorities in the world are true blond ones with blue eyes or red haired ones with green/blue eyes. and they are even in most western countries an exception. you see by far more with brown or black hair. just in case you never noticed due to your antiwhite racism. in the usa most attacks on asians are by black-american. and in the end of the day the enite racist left wing sorting makes no sense at all, because many asians have pretty much the same or similar skin color than most europeans and similar wealth than 'white' european origins in the usa (the tendency is even more due to their better performance) and most 'black' people are actually not really 'black'. it made sense anyway if people in general move back to true science instead from the racist sorting especially left wing intersectionalist racist try to keep hanging on. this SORTING is the real racism!
@@publicminx A white man like you shouldn't comment about racial discrimination since have never made fun of throughout grammar and high school and since you have never experienced it. The white Asian couple and white black couple thing is extremely rare, less than 8% of the marriages and when it comes to white and Asian, 90% is white boys with Asian women. Whites make up maybe 15% of the world's population but hold 80% of the wealth and you telling me it isnt a white dominated world?
@@joeiborowski9763 don't worry, you will graduate the 1st grade one day
@@joeiborowski9763 LOL 90% get real. Pulling stuff out of yo a$s
@@joeiborowski9763 now the true colors come out
How is she Chinese Dutch? SO, If I was born and raised in China, I'd be an American Chinese?
Curious...what would you call her, if not Chinese Dutch? She's ethnically Chinese-influenced by Chinese culture-but born and raised in the Netherlands (also influenced by Dutch culture). If you were born and raised in China...it would be an equally-if not more interesting question! I think you'd be considered Chinese once you start "speaking" but not everyone will accept you as Chinese I identify as Chinese American myself because I'm influenced so heavily by two different cultures.
This remind me about the first time i saw a black guy. I stared for 2 seconds because how rare it was too see one. Then i continue shopping. I think not looking dutch just make you stand out. Just as if you would wearing a bird suit. Now granted i know a lot of my country man are assholes. But name one country that doesnt have assholes.
Sorry, maar dan hebben we elkaar gewoon nog nooit ontmoet :) Ik heb nog nooit iemand gevraagd waar zij/hij écht vandaan komt. Misschien komt het omdat ik niet blond ben? Misschien omdat ik zelf iemand ben van wie je blijkbaar niet zo makkelijk kan zien dat ik roots buiten Nederland heb? Misschien. Maar ik denk 't niet. Ik vrees dat 't ligt aan de mensen die je tegenkomt. Met wie je omgaat. Dat is dan misschien wel treurig. Aan de andere kant geloof ik niet dat IEDEREEN dat tegen je zegt. Een goede vriendin van me is geadopteerd uit Korea (Zuid-Korea uiteraard) en die krijgt die vraag ook wel. Ze zegt dan dat ze uit Utrecht komt, écht uit Utrecht :) Maar ze krijgt die vraag niet van iedereen. Daar kan ik immers zelf van getuigen. Overigens is t niet iets Nederlands. In Frankrijk vragen ze het mij ook. Ook al heb ik de Franse nationaliteit, spreek ik vloeiend Frans en heb ik Franse familie. Overigens 2: het gebeurt in Nederland zelfs met Vlamingen. Een stad als Amsterdam is inmiddels al zo verengelst dat Nederlanders bij Nederlands-sprekende Belgen overschakelen (switchen!) naar het Engels omdat ze geen idee hebben waar die vreemde toeristen nou weer vandaan komen. Kijk, dát noem ik pas treurig. ps: "have you ever felt like you didn't belong in society based on the way you look?" Imagine this... It is even possible the other way around. I sometimes feel I don't belong to this society because people DON'T recognize me as "different"! And yet I am probably even "less Dutch" (whatever that may mean) than the girl in your video...
15:36 Kind of off topic, but I never understood why they make a big deal about eating dog, yet cows, pigs, and so on are mistreated on factory farms and such. I myself am Asian-American and I'm vegan. I should pretend to be a "foreigner" and ask a non-Asian person is it true that you eat pig? A pig can be a pet just like a dog. I love all animals. And why is lobster not weird? Looks like a giant insect. It's all based on what one is used to seeing. Eating dog may be bad but no worse than eating cow, pig, chicken, or other animal,, including lobster. It's how they're treated or mistreated, all animals are sentient. On the other hand, if animals are free in their natural environment but just hunted and suffer for a little while like in hunter and gatherer days, I don't think there's a problem. Still better to have plant-based diet, though, especially now that there are more options. I eat the same foods, hamburgers, hot dogs, sandwiches, spaghetti and meatballs, etc. but vegan versions.
Thanks for sharing. I think it's because people associate "dogs" with pets...that's why it's like "WHAT?!" But in China, people are no longer eating dogs (except small, small regions). But you have a good point...the "dogs" people used to eat weren't pet dogs...one could have a pig for a pet...and of course, it would be disgusting to hear of people eating pigs
@@hidavidwen Well, I see it from point of view of the animals who are the potential victims of mistreatment from people. From the point of view of the animal, whether it's dog, pig, cow, chicken, horse, all the same. Doesn't matter if it's "pet" or not.
Oh ja, en dan vroegen ze vaak of m'n ouders een restaurant hadden. Alsof ik zou vragen waarom de "echte" Hollanders geen klompen dragen... Afijn, veel plezier in "mijn" land, ik zie trouwens nog nix over daten, lol
I plan to do one about dating (that’s like a whole different crazy world hahaha)…what would you be curious about?
As I grew up in Holland, dating there seems pretty straightforward to me: other countries are strange :) So, what's further your impression about dating in Holland, and: the difference with the States?
Is het racisme of dommigheid?😢
Both? Racism = Stupidity
@@hidavidwen Nee, dat kan niet. Rassisme is iemand bewust (negatief) beoordelen op ras. Dommigheid is gewoon iets stoms doen omdat je ergens niet overnadacht.
Babi panggang? Are you Indonesian chinese? Hehe
Me or her? What do you think? Hehe
@@hidavidwen am sorry, when she Said she was called after a food name like babi panggang I thought that she’s Indonesian chinese hehe So are you Indonesian Chinese from The US?
@@YuzarDecky289Got it. I have Chinese and some Indonesian roots =)
All in all I would say this interview has almost only negative aspects, which I find a shame. As half indo half Dutch growing up in the east, I’ve only experience the ‘where are you really from’ question. Which doesn’t bother me that much, if any it shows that they are genuinely interested in me and my background. All in all I’m positive minded, so maybe I haven’t spotted all negative aspects actively. Just wanted to share I don’t relate myself to this story at all
Thanks for sharing Mélanie. Yeah we all have different experiences growing up. It’s nice to hear you didn’t receive much discrimination growing up as half Dutch. That’s also another interesting topic to explore, the experiences of being half Dutch.
To me, the two examples (call her Chinese dish name or laughed at her being Dutch) she gave are not really evidence for discrimination or racism of Dutch people. First of all, these remakes have no real impact on her life or career. She can just shrug off and move on with her life. If she grew up in China, she would know the discrimination towards its own race is even worse there: age, gender, province where you are from, family background, universities you went to etc which are all used by people in public to discriminate you and worse, they really cause troubles to you life as you lose equal opportunity for your career and school in China. For instance Women who are close to the pregnancy age won't get a job easily. But in the Netherlands, calling you Chinese dish or saying you are not dutch doesn't make you lose anything and they are just being annoying, nasty or ignorant. Second, there are mean children/people of the same race or of different races everywhere. Somehow we like amplifying the inter-racial conflict but ignore that the same conflict exists within the same race (It's just human nature). Also it's true that Asians don't look like typical Dutch people and that's a fact. I wonder whether this eagerness of fitting in and the fear of getting rejected by Dutch is somehow passed by her parents unconsciously to her as her parents might not have had as good career as she does now and feels that others will look down on them. It might be more about social status than the race but they mistook it for race. I hope she can grow out of the race discrimination fear or default assumption quickly as relationship is like force and they are mutual. Assuming others have bad intention towards you to start with is not a great recipe to build relationship with anyone. There is definitely racism in every country but in the Netherlands, this issue is so small to an extent that most of us won't encounter it(% of ignorant Dutch is very small) and even when you do, it won't affect your opportunity to pursue a successful career and a happy life here(there is no systematic racism here) They have no real consequences either. Be strong 🙂 You can just ignore these idiotic remarks and live your own life.
Thanks for taking the time to reply. What I do know...is that each person is different. While one person may not react strongly to being called a discriminatory name, it may be traumatizing for another. I cannot comment on how it may or may not have affected her...but what I do know is that each person is different. Sometimes and often times...words can be more powerful (and harmful) than any type of physical force. At the same time, on the surface level, calling someone a "Chinese dish" or not Dutch may not seem like one may not "lose anything," but it could. And I think one does lose. Think about unconscious biases. Systemic racism. Opportunities one may or may not have later in life (eg. corporate world, etc). And yeah...there is always discrimination within the own race too...let's not even go there haha. It does sound like you are trying to add some words of encouragement and if you are, appreciate that. Let's hope for a kinder world with fewer (none) idiotic remarks =)
@@hidavidwen I think you and I are talking about two different things. Apparently I completely failed to convey my message. But that's fine 🙂
@@Suzan4325 Haha communicating online is not so easy, especially with these types of topics so appreciate you for trying. Have a nice 2023
So what she is saying is, she can't handle being in a country that is white Dutch, and felt uncomfortable where she grew up. This makes her a racist, which is a problem. Her parents' decision to move has meant issues for her growing up, where she does not like Dutch culture. After all, you can't be Dutch and prefer multiculturalism, that is a paradox. It is very sad for immigrants. Their parents made decisions that make their children racist and uncomfortable. They don't fit in anywhere because they don't like being surrounded by white Dutch people. If she didn't mind, then she'd be Dutch in the soul. However, she does mind so she isn't Dutch. She feels disconnected due to race instincts she has. This proves we are all racist. People prefer their own kind evidence suggests. Multiculturalism is the worst of all as it is soulless and rootless - necessarily so, which leads to the destruction of culture and societies and nation states. Crime is higher as is general decline. It is a sad situation for them and for the Dutch whom this lady can't stand so much.
I can relate to this. I grew up in Holland as a Chinese, the Dutch are super ignorant and racist. I'm laughing now cuz I earn multiple times the highest 1% income bracket In Holland in HK and flash the cash whenever I'm in Holland. I see the envy
Thanks for sharing your perspective. You can relate to this...sorry to hear that you experienced racism growing up. Curious to hear more about your experiences growing up in Holland as Chinese and why did you decide to go to Hong Kong?
@@hidavidwen everything your friend said I experienced growing up. I grew up in a small town near Amsterdam, and at the local public school being one of few Chinese I also got called the same names (my favourite is "Ching Chung Chong"). I'd say Holland outside Amsterdam is generally poor and the people aren't cultured. You can live and eat like a king compared to HK. A modern large flat / home outside Amsterdam you can get for €500k, in HK it's just enough for a down payment on a rundown 1-bed flat. I go back to Holland every year to visit family, and I see the Dutch now still hate on me, but for a different reason: I splash the cash. In the 20 years since I was school boy, China is now second largest economy, people are used to associating Chinese with wealth. It wasn't like that before, so there's a newfound respect and envy. There's no more Ching Chung Chong, and now the white girls even want a piece of me
Btw, I like watching your videos since it's like seeing Holland in real time and I'm glad you've found your feet there.
@@legitheat wat moet jij een zielig leventje hebben zeg 😂😭
@@legitheat White girls are like whores, they'll go to anyone that has money, even if you are 90 years old and crippled. We have seen that many times. So if the only reason you feel self gratified because of your money, go for it. But if sh*t hits the fan and you lose your money and/or health, they will dump you like a hot potato and try to get every cent from you. And why do minorities think that white girls are the epitome of beauty and a catch?