How to KEEP A WOMAN: the past is prologue
If you're a man considering going down the path of marriage and children, it is essential that you learn how to maintain a woman's long-term commitment. This is because the more you invest in any one woman, the more leveraged you are and the riskier that relationship becomes, especially in contemporary society. The key to maintaining that commitment is to understand that everything you've ever done for a woman is irrelevant. I explain more in this episode.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #relationship #women
If you're a man considering going down the path of marriage and children, it is essential that you learn how to maintain a woman's long-term commitment. This is because the more you invest in any one woman, the more leveraged you are and the riskier that relationship becomes, especially in contemporary society. The key to maintaining that commitment is to understand that everything you've ever done for a woman is irrelevant. I explain more in this episode. Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Join my mailing list: oriontarabanpsyd.com/ Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: kzhead.info/sun/itaRct6JaXp6eIk/bejne.html Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: kzhead.info/tools/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw.htmljoin Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #women
I dare to suggest that Dr. O might be mistaken on this. To minimize risks when partnering with a "modern woman," consider someone earning a similar or preferably higher income, committed to their career long-term. In case of a divorce, you may not be liable for spousal support, and there's even a chance she owes you. 😅
Agreed. No relationship equity with a woman - Rollo
Next video on : How to switch / Get rid of her
It sounds like your describing an incredibly ungrateful women if anything. The exception not the rule. I'd think twice before letting this be the hill I die on. This perspective literally spits in the face of long term committal relationships which is what binds are society together and keeps it working. The picture that (from my perspective) you are trying to paint is that ALL women are never fully content with what you've given them. That they'll always want more. Are we even describing a human being with morals and intelligence at this point? I do believe that is a seriously unfair representation of women in general.
KZhead is so insane i bc can't type the word wmn in the same sentence as any negative adjectives so I'm going to start just typing w instead
Experienced divorce attorney here. You can’t imagine the look on my male divorce clients faces when I give them this speech. Even if you are a multimillionaire, great provider, great dad, attentive to her needs and desires, she can leave you at anytime for any reason or no reason at all. “I’m just not feeling it” is all it takes.
This is what psychopaths do, not most women.
I worked as a Primary Educator where most of my children's parents are divorced and I've heard stories from guys whose hearts were broken either from divorce, broken engagement or bad girlfriends. I wont divorce my man unless he is physically abusive towards me or my children for no good reasons. My message here is that there are good women out there (but few)
@@elainer8288 Quite the contrary.....most women are psychopaths.
@@Alice-hp4wo I saw several divorce lawyers say most cases come from the men being physically violent or infidelity. Are you sure none of these happened?
@@elainer8288 i did not ask my children as I did not think it is appropriate, and I did not want to destabilise them when we are supposed to learn (unless they want to talk about it and it helps them be relieved, which is a different case). The world is not black and white. There are more in who is right or wrong, with regards to what your message is getting into. So, it depends on the situation what is the right thing to do - to divorce if the guy is being violent and/or infidele or to stay, which is up to the other person to decide tbh.
"Further, if you're liking what you're hearing".... No, I do not like what I'm hearing, but God, this is 100% true 😒
lol omg this is me almost every episode
Better to say we like the bitter truth
😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂
LMAO 😂
Now I understand why Leo DiCaprio keeps switching up. It all makes perfect sense now
🤣🤣🤣
Thank God my name is Leo. I can do the same lol
The irony of course is they get upset with him or men like him who engage in this mating strategy, using their typical pejorative shaming language to convey their dissatisfaction. But what they never seem to address or just conveniently gloss over is why do these young women continue to line themselves up from the temp agencies looking for a full time position knowing damn well they’ll never make it past the probation period? Deep down, they know the truth about their nature, but the N in S.I.G.N language and their pride will not allow them to concede their weak positions or accept the reality of what it is
Yea Leo clearly is a woman
Leonardo DiCaprio keeps switching up because he can.
"A divorce is the only thing left to give her" - man, that got me going! 😂
And an affair.... women looooove that drama 😆
Sadly true
it's not true tbh. don't get me wrong overall he's right. I'm central european so maybe it's different
Next episode will be on a lighter theme: how to summon demons and keep your soul safe and pure
This episode was exactly about that if you look closely.
😂
Hopefully he'll teach us how to revive the dead, after he makes that video lol.
Hahahahahha. Good Lord man That's the fkked up humor that cracks me up hahha
@@airgin3000We all need the lighter side of life, dont we! something to smile about after dealing with womn's dark side! LOL
“Women are like your stomach.” Damn that’s a good analogy.
Except that when you constantly pay for everything you give your stomach, and take good care of it, it helps sustain your health and keep you alive. Your stomach never tells you that it's tired of what you're giving it and then takes your children away.
Women are in a lot of ways like animals. We are, too in some regards. But it's crazy how animalistic they are.
Sometimes it's good to fast.
@@professor-dad I clicked reply to say the same thing. Your stomach will never resent you or take for granted feeding it at a regular and predictable interval.
Meaning she will never ever be satisfied.she is an endless money pit like Scotty kilmer would call a BMW.
Great video. But to simplify things the answer is self improvement in all aspects of life. Let me explain. The more you improve spiritually, mentally, physically, financially and socially and in all aspects of life the more you have to offer. Do not waste your time trying to make a woman like you or to make her stay with you. You can only control your thoughts and actions nothing else. If you are constantly self improving people will want to be around you not just women because everyone wants to be associated with a winner. Even if she leaves (because women do make bad judgment calls a lot of time) the fact that you are constantly improving will make her regret her bad decisions due to hypergamy. Women want the best man. So you you simply become the best version of yourself. By the way that isn’t just having money, building muscles and being popular. Ask yourself who do I want to be. When you close your eyes what is the version of you you aspire to be, not what anyone else wants and strive to be that man. Once you are at that journey of being that man you only deal with people who fit in your life. Remember you are the producer, writer, director and main character of your life. Stop trying to force people in roles they can’t fit. Have a goal for your life and it’s either they fit in or they don’t. There’s a cool Nigerian saying “I can’t come kill myself”. Focus on being the best version of yourself simple as that. Things will fall in place. God bless you all.
That's the best plan whether you're male or female. Live your own life and be the best version of yourself you can be.
I made a similar comment. The things called life have two versions. A version where the man wants and chooses a woman and the version where a woman wants and the man gives. Second one fails. A man should invite a woman along on his journey of life and have a compatible mate. One is masculine life growth and the other is emasculated life growth. This video helped me in so many ways.
this should be the top comment!!!!
Beautiful 💯 couldnt have said it better myself
Someone, please pin this comment to the top. I started watching these videos because while after 20+ years of marriage, our relationship is still strong and I could easily give my life for my wife, occasionally I go bonkers and run with my head in the wall trying to understand how to 'satisfy' my wife's desires which seem to be contradicted within the same conversation. The answer I've come to is just accept that she'll always be complaining no matter what I do. I just need to work on my mission in life, become the best version I can be, and not be bothered by her complaints. If one day the best version of me is not good enough for her, I'll at least be good enough for myself or hopefully another woman.
Been with my wife for 22+ years. The realization in this video has completely shocked me. Because it all adds up and because it seems to ring of truth. Additionally, it has completely dropped all respect for women I ever had. Suddenly learning that Janet Jackson’s “What have you done for me lately” was not pop culture but a statement as to how all of this works makes me ill.
Tbh it’s very hard to respect women after you learn their true nature. That said, I bet it’s hard for women to respect men after they learn our true nature .. I mean, let’s be honest - human nature is not pretty for the most part. We are animals that are hard wired to get our biological needs met . That’s it Btw yes I immediately thought of Janet Jackson’s song when watching this video as well lol
Never too late to learn how to game your own wife and keep her on her toes 😂😮
Lmao you a good man
Take the Christ Pill
Been watching other people married for 22+ years. Doesn't look good from here either. I used to laugh at the term "ball and chain" , now I shake my head let out a low whistle.
“Everything you’ve ever done for a woman is irrelevant”- That’s Briffault’s Law fellas, before entering a relationship every man must learn this. The conditions of a relationship will mostly be determined by a woman no matter how you look at it, and a relationship where a woman can no longer derive benefits is a relationship a woman considers to be nullified.
It's actually good news cause I constantly blaming myself for all the horrible things I've done to my exes 🌝
If the woman is actively invested in the man and is the adorer, then I think that the man can have an easier go at the relationship He’ll still have to fulfill his manly duties, but the woman will be much more content with less overall
The big question is what equivalent value they're brining to the table?
Didnt knew that a law that exemplifies this existed, thanks for the info
True. And to get into the relationship depends on who you are, not what you do. Your looks, your status, your confidence, your career trajectory, how you hold yourself physically, especially around other men. Are you a leader or a follower? Do you demand respect or even intimidate, or get walked on?
There is no relationship equity. This is 💯 spot on.
I agree but what value is the female bringing ?
@carlospita6442 Sex, companionship with the opposite gender, and the ability to extend your legacy genetically with children who will grow and potentially be assets to you later in life if you raise them right.
@@oneoone That's just the exact equivalent of what the male brings to the female by virtue of biological existence and therefore doesn't count. Think harder. What value that is uniquely female, that the male actually prizes, that the male cannot get from any other source. I'm talking value found in the discharging of performative burdens which equal the numerous performative burdens she's going to be placing on the male.
@@oneoone women don't provide sex
@@oneoone not worth the risk
"Everything you've ever done for a woman, is IRRELEVANT". Solid Gold. This should be taught to all men.
Coming from someone who divorced....this man is spitting facts. Its exhausting.
Welcome to RPA.
Nothing is ever good enough. They always want more.
He's correct about the fact everything you've ever done becomes meaningless. It's true. They literally forgive themselves any 'indebtedness' for the good deed you've done for them instantly. Interestingly however they don't apply the same standard the other way. If they've done you a good turn or performed an act of service you will be reminded of it repeatedly. She will expect it to accrue continuing dividends for her well into the future. Ergo they're more than capable of understanding the credo BOTH people should live by. They just won't allow YOU to have the benefit of it. At the end of the day they mate for personal advantage. They're looking to gain more from the association than they give in return and if they're not deriving a net benefit from it they're gone. While it's their nature and can't really be criticised...it is nonetheless difficult to have respect for a person when you realise they're looking to go through life offering less value than they expect to receive in return.
Maybe you're divorced for a reason? Ever thought of that?
I wish this wasn’t true, but after experience - with many women, it is
Oh yeah
Because it's the wrong way to live life. YOU live your life and invite a woman on your journey. This video is emasculated men
So what happens when he gets old, when he gets sick, when he has a stroke or heart attack and can’t give her anything anymore. I guess it used to be that family, religion, and societal pressure kept her around taking care of him, but the world has changed. The man may be left out in cold these days. How about an episode about that?
Accept it. Nature’s just using you and now that you’re useless, you get discarded
At the start he did say that this applies to contemporary society.
The world has changed but religious community has not. You are all suffering because you are choosing to go without God
@@cosmictreason2242 I see where you are coming from, but its a big oversimplification. Many people of faith can't find partners.
@@caveymoley that's not because the partners who share the same faith are likely to cheat it's bc there are few who exist
Damn, It's an infinite game like business or the gym (Thanks Alex Hormozi). The goal isn't to "win" the goal is just to keep playing. Knowing it's not "win-able" and purely temporary really helps reframe relationships. Thanks Orion.
Everything is temporary. Life, money, health, status, job, even "love". Play until you can't play anymore, then fade to black for all eternity. Life is indeed a game.
Or the Wargames realization: the only winning move is not to play.
No, it's to keep balance and harmony
how many games you play where, if you've invested thousands of hours, you need to restart from zero the next time you log in? yeah, there's a reason no one plays those games.
damn, so true, right?
I don’t really get why this is a hard pill to swallow. This makes a lot of sense. When I paint a potential future with my girlfriend, as in « I want to have this, and this, and do this, this is the life I’m looking forward to », I can see her eyes shine. Firstly because I’m very confident in doing so, but also because they are very ambitious projections. So it projects a mix of risk taking mindset, boldness, and puts her in a future thinking mindset. And most importantly, everything is authentic and honest. I paint a picture of what the future with me can be, by also giving examples of what my life has been in the past. I think keeping her excited about her future is a massive skill set for a man.
Its never enough. Focus on yourself fellas
Weak
BEYTAAHHHH
Simps in the replies already 🙄 They're like rats, breeding out of control now.
So true. They always want more. They are never satisfied. Its always "what have you done for me lately".
@@silverlining6259 simp energy
For a man, marriage is extremely risky today. One thing to understand about the female psyche is that its engineered to follow the herd without questioning the destination. You see this in real life where women are being told they need to focus on education and career and then they hit 30 and develop an existential crisis where they realize the prospect of another 3 decades trying to move up the career ladder doesn't sound good compared to settling down and having a family. The dark side of this for men contemplating marriage is even if things are going well, she's not thinking to herself that the marriage is going well. She's comparing her marriage to her friends, culture, and the social messaging that's telling her nine thousand different ways that her marriage is lacking something. This will make her unhappy over time and divorce risks increase. We just don't live in a world anymore where men actually benefit from marriage, its solely a series of risks and liabilities...
for sure man. I've also heard when your dating someone new, never meet her friends or at least avoid it as long as possible cos they make some remark or criticism about you to her and like you said she'll follow the herd rather than thinking for herself.
Yes, I think our predecessors made a terrible mistake when they approved the amendment giving women the right to vote. It has only gone downhill since then.
@@daves2520 Nah, that was not the problem. The problem was contraception, cellphones, and social media. Of course, they were done unintentionally.
Women start out unhappy. That is the default position. Unless they figure out how to find and develop that happiness within, they'll never be happy. It's just the way it is.
I'm always surprised to hear that so many women really take these bs advices on TikTok so seriously. For example all the childish test you have to do on your partner like if you asked him to peel your apple and he's not spontaneous willing to do this, you should leave him
Agree. What you do for a woman works great to get you into her Friend Zone, but not a relationship. But it's who you are and where you're going that matters most for a relationship.
That’s facts I’ve seen women friendzone men who literally gave them a roof over their head and without his help, the women w be homeless w no other option than to prostitute herself to survive… Yet time and time again they sexually reward literal losers (homeless, ab usive drug dealer/addicts
Why would you want a relationship?
Women don't give a crap about "who you are." It's all about what you have.
@@lashedbutnotleashed1984 I agree, the crazy part is a lot of women prefer unemployed ab usive losers for some reason
YES!!!!!
I actually don't like your message, but I still watch, like, and sub. Thanks for telling me what I need to hear, not what I want to hear.
Had to watch this one twice. I had to make sure he was actually speaking the truth. It is all dead on.
Not true at all. My mother took care of my dad after a stroke, my friend's aunt took care of her husband for 10 years personally after he had a stroke and couldn't move or talk anymore. For 10 years took care of him and dedicated her life to him. Love still exists!
@@elainer8288the exception doesn’t disprove the rule for goodness sakes. Yes there are few that will do that but usually they won’t. I don’t know why that’s so hard to understand
@@elainer8288 First of all - using personal anecdotes from you life and expanding them to general principles is flawed logic. Second - your mother and friends aunt were born and raised in a different time. I also believe love still exists though, just much harder to find in today's world
@@elainer8288 There's always an exception.
@@elainer8288A couple exceptions from history don't invalidate a general rule. Yeah, I know a couple good ladies that will stand with their men until the end. But I know WAY more that leave as soon as they notice a little green grass on the other side of the fence.
So basically, small investments but consistently is what keeps them on the hook. Never take her to Fiji, buy her a car, a ring, etc. until those things are there to serve you. She just benefits from them because she happens to be in your life. Take her to Fiji because you're already going there and you want the company. Buy her a car because you need her to have mobility but you can't be always there to drive her. Etc. Do these things for yourself and consistently invite her along for the ride.
Absolutely but only expect this to work as a self preservative. It won't be a relationship preservative. They'll be exiting PDQ if you practice this. So be it. Thats better than being taken for a ride. It's reasonable advice, it just won't "keep" a female.
Excellent take!
Exactly…….she’s there to serve you, never give her enough of anything to where she can function without you
@@sammyb1651well tbh there doesn’t seem to be any good ways of preserving a relationship long term.. the constant work that guys must put in doesn’t seem worth it to me .. I’m fine with casual dating but beyond that? Nah
You said it all, but in addition keep and maintain healthy relationships with deserving family, siblings, old school and work mates, friends and community, why must we hedge all our life happiness and fulfilments on our women. that's the general culture in Africa
This is one of your best episodes. I must be doing something right-my wife has stayed around for 43 years.
You are probably doing a tremendous amount right.
As a woman who loves Orion’s videos, what do you think that has been the key for your long relationship? For me, learning together and trying new things together (like a dance class, or a new hike) has been what’s kept things fun in my own long term relationship. I’d be interested to hear from someone who has been together with someone for so long
Yep, you need to tell us the secret, my man.
@@winkA1Orion put it in a pretty disparaging way towards women, but if he said more as no one, men included, like to be taken for granted and unappreciated, it would make more sense in my opinion. Men also leave when they don’t feel loved and appreciated. Flip the script, if she stops having sex with him, he will also bail. It’s how he feels loved and appreciated.
@@burt2800been married 14, the big thing is don’t take her for granted, just like you don’t like to be. It doesn’t have to be something new to give her, just make it clear she still matters to you.
Just brilliant! Dr. Taliban is one of the few people on the Internet who can change the way you see the world in eight minutes!
Taliban's not so bad now, is it? 😂
@@ialien2077 Damn Spell Check!
Taliban????
😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂
wow!! I am shocked how true this is. 65 years old and with several relationships behind me. Thank you for the information.
We guys LOVE learning this the hard way!
The more I know how woman think the more I realize this just isn't worth it.
Their viscous innards is not bad tho 😊
The more I Learned what women were attracted to and other aspects of their nature I lost a lot of interest in dating or serious relationships .. at this point I still talk to women and flirt casually but the desire for more usually isn’t there. Luckily I’m very introverted so I like solitude. Most guys can’t handle solitude and they crave companionship
Simping is useless & conterproductive.
As a woman who gets oggled at the beach by elderly men, I no longer want long term relationships. Nothing you provide couldd ever be equivalent to putting my body through childbirth, and knowing in 20 years you will be looking at ladies in their early 20s with lust is just disgusting and disheartening. WGTOW
@@Bookooky childbirth is for YOU WOMEN - so that you don't go absolutely bonkers in your 40s
This man is filled with so much wisdom, he never ceases to amaze me
Here is my story which illustrates this. My wife wanted to move back to her home country. We worked for 15 years to make it happen. I gave up everything to facilitate this goal. As soon as the move was complete and the house remodeled, she announced that she was done with our relationship of 20 years.
Damn. Classic story. Sorry to hear that.
Bingo!!! 100% true. You emasculated yourself and allowed yourself to be emasculated by trying to be the nice guy. As a leader and a man what was your life goals? Was taking her back to her home country on that? Probably not. If you would have stuck to maintaining your frame while being kind she would have made a decision....good or bad but 15 yrs and nothing would have been less than this. So sorry....Men should never go outside their goals to appease humans. That's what makes you leaders of the world. Never be a follower to a woman.
Damn thats true, i remember meeting this woman at a party; she was into me and she really looked beautiful.We had a great night i hesitated to call her she then hit me with a message to say hi, we started hitting it off then all of a sudden she asked for money; i refused i told her that the only time i will spend on her it's when she is with me, ever since then she has been wanting to see me. Now i know it has never been about me.
Wait she asked you for money at the beginning? You’d only met her the night before and she’s asking for money? How much money ? That sort of behavior would have me cutting all contact right then
She would of been blocked after that request.. the fact you still text her and entertain it makes her think her behavior is ok
@@a-t5380 Well we never met after that, the first day we met was the last. But true i shouldn't have entertained her after that.
Women who ask only for money are likely the best deals out there. I'd say this one is a keeper..!
Men, consider this: NEVER enter into a (marriage) contract where the other party is REWARDED for breaking it.
So... never get married? lol
@@MitsurugiR CORRECT!!! we're seeing 25 years of pre-nups being tossed out. it's just not safe anymore
Prenup is a must nowadays.
@@mbg9650 nope! pre-nups are getting tossed out left & right. the ONLY way to win is.... to not play!
The only way to win is to make the rules, my terms or nothing. Take it or leave it
Thanks, Orion. I remember years back when I thought the right woman would be a partner to forge a future with. In reality, the best future forging has gotten done when I stayed well away from them. I'd like to argue against it but what you describe is exactly what my experience has been and the experiences of men I know.
This had to be one of the most terrible videos I have ever viewed. Not because of the content. Because the content is true.
A woman is like a Republic. Just change Ben Franklin's "if you can keep it" to "if you can keep her." My ex divorced me after seventeen years of marriage, and all she was thinking about was her immediate future, not what had been done for her. Shortly before the divorce, she told me to my face that I had never abused her and had always provided for her, but at the time I was very ill and couldn't provide.
Brother I am sorry.
Man I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Hope your doing better.
I hope you're doing better and she's living under a bridge in a cardboard box
I hope your life has been successful and hers has been shite.
What kind of woman was she? Religious, irreligious, many followers on Facebook/insta, worked a 9-5 before you met, worked during the relationship, had how many kids, was or wasn't on bc, identified as conservative or not
This is a FANTASTIC video. The stomach metaphor makes so much sense! It's a bit disheartening, but this is a close representation of what I've seen in reality. It also helps explain how women get hooked on men. Just like a craving for your favorite food, your stomach will demand it even if it is bad for you. Now we just have to figure out how to be that.😅
I'm tryna be McDonald's mann 😂😅
Learned this first hand, and man was it discouraging. Thank goodness it was just after a few years of dating rather than marriage!
Spinning plates is part of the solution.
I absolutely love that Dr Orion isn't waisting his time b*thing about how this is unfair. Yes it's unfair from a man's POV, and now let's move on. Time to learn how to deal with reality instead of complaining. Another excellent video! 👍
Aye, and the world is unfair to men always. Thats what makes us men, we get through shit unfazed. We start out worthless and determine our own worth.
The universe is not supposed to fair. It couldn't care less.
My experience correlates with this approach. That said, the challenge then becomes the trickling in of the wants in such a way that there is nearly a lifetime of them. This would necessitate that a man execute on a list of known wants while simultaneously creating new ones at a controlled pace. All I can say is there better be a good ROI for all that work. Pick wisely.
Yes, it's an endurance race. Start of too fast and you'll tire before the finish (you'll be unable to maintain the pace of "more" that she's become accustomed to and she'll leave). Start off too slow and you're going to lose (she'll leave because she's not getting enough). You have to go just the right speed to be able to keep her around and also maintain the relationship for the duration. Definitely a lot of effort regardless of the route you decide to take. Nothing wrong with turning the endurance race into a series of really fun sprints.
@@jth_printed_designs 😅
The more I learn about women, the less ability I have to love them.
There's a saying: "You can either love women or understand them, you can't do both"
I think this is a fairly logical conclusion now tbh. And I don't think it should be viewed as "hate speech" either-theres nothing hateful about it, it's just a perfectly sensible pivot once you come to understand the reality of the situation. It's also quite clear why women are keen to suppress this understanding about them. It does make them less "lovable" on the whole, from a mans perspective. They gain most from your ignorance so I can see why they would want to suppress the information. At best all I can now offer is a transactional "love" that mirrors their "love" and that is highly conditional on performance. I feel they should be content with that if thats the same bargain that they're driving.
@@sammyb1651 Exactly, its a transaction and they get as much investment as they've earned. If they haven't earned anything they're not getting anything.
@@sammyb1651I’m mostly right in line with your thinking - I will just “mirror” what the woman gives me. It’s not the best way to view a relationship but I’m not about to put 80% effort in while she puts 20%.. nope
do you think they do it on purpose? Or is it just biologically hardwired?
I thought you were running out of steam bro, but this vid is as GOAT is it gets
I love your enthusiasm on the relationship escalator. Thanks for what you do
Atta baby Orion! (Turn down the "gain" on your mic slightly) 🔥 video
Yep I’ve noticed that too on the last few videos.
And the camera is shaking.
Definitely something wrong with the sound settings for a while now. May be a gain setting, radio receiver or editing preset that makes the voice tiring to listen to.
My favorite channel on KZhead,..thanks for the enlightenment bro 👏👏👏
Absolutely correct. Try your best to prolong everything
AWESOME video and timely. I am living this right now with the woman I am dating. Bravo
Once again ser you managed to present topic from the realistic perspective (human nature).
Anybody else feeling depressed after watching this?
It's like being poor and watching the "secret lives of billionaires" on TV. It reminds you that you do not have enough currency😂😂
me.
This is one of the best ever. OMG, I'll be telling this to my son.
Orion, your content is pure gold. Thank you.
If you give a woman everything she wants instead of what she needs, she will not respect you.
I think with this video alone, you are saving thousands of relationships. Thank you Dr. T
Omg spot on! One of your best yet!
Man you're the best at what you're doing. NEVER STOP. You're saving a lot of relationships and transforming lives.
Thank you Orion for this point of view! Never thought of women in THIS perspective.
They dont want us to! women are 'sweet, little angels' dontcha know! LOL
Spelled out clear as day. Thanks.
You made me understand something so important about a past relationship. Thank you
That's eye opening. Your videos are a goldmine.
YES ❤❤❤ Can we have more stuff focusing on long term relationship plsssss
We dont currently have that technology
What seems to have worked for many is: 1.) Forego marriage altogether (& make it KNOWN) 2.) Refrain from cohabitation (& keep it that way) …and this is AFTER surviving divorce. So if you haven’t gone through the divorce wringer yet, let’s hope you never have to follow these two rules.
This is insanely good information. I think I’ve been doing this unconsciously for the past 20 years. Yes. This fits with my own experience! Coming through on your word is huge or she will use it against you (as she should), but I milk that shit for weeks, months or even years if its a big enough prize! With free content like this, I may even consider joining your paid OF!
This totally fits with my own experience...brilliant content as usual!
4:29 After the kids, you can grant her and/or be central in facilitating her increasing status in the community, a renewed exploration of being-in-itself in terms of travel and luxury as empty-nesters, and, finally, someone that cares and negotiates in the world -- her health and wellbeing -- as she grows feeble and tired in her old age. I see this in my father and mother's matrimony. My older brother's is very squarely on the road to that. Granted, to give those advanced things as a man (the things that had been listed in the video not requiring much from one's sociological miilue), one has to be growing both personally and professionally in the lead-up to starting a family together while maintain a fair measure of health, good routines and virtue (in the Grecian sense: moral and physical excellence), in order to be a champion to her in both hers and your old age. It's no small feat, and there are innumerable slings and arrows of outrageous fortune that will both delimit and/or prohibit one's ability to be that man for her who increases her status, grants her luxury and adventure, and still be fit enough to fight, as a "village elder" on her behalf. It also requires a woman who is capable of appreciating -- noticing -- you both are embarked on that trajectory since, just like any fitness program, the improvements are slow and measured but can go unnoticed if the waypoints and measures of your mutual success aren't explicitly defined. (success/luxury for some women and couples being, simply, a homestead, an occasional fancy dinner and vacations once or every other year; no debt, current on one's bills; kids that managed to stand on their own two feet ... not necessarily fame and fortune, per se). The bitter pill here is that, sadly, most men nowadays don't ever get a shot at this latter-stage "giving," especially now that the middle class has been gutted and hollowed out in most industrialized states; and, the current zeitgeist for Western women is encouragement to jump ship prematurely, loosing heart too easily with the inevitable setbacks, the viciousness of FOMO culture, the staking of happiness and its confabulation to hedonistic pleasures, within a culture oozing of degeneracy and/or moral, intellectual and spiritual privation. As if the whole enterprise of creating a legacy for yourself was some economic calculess with ROI metrics
Great job. Yep there's always some future proposition to propose.
I had to learn this the hard way fellas. I will never be in a committed monogamous relationship again, unless she is a virgin. These modern women are my name.
You are deluding yourself if you think her being a virgin will make anything different. Same shit happened to me after years of relationship with a virgin. Its a game you can never stop playing.
@@dinok7630 not thinking it won’t ever happen with a virgin, but far less likely to happen. There are other dynamics at Play as well, such as her friends, who she works around, etc.
In my experience virgins are more likely to be promiscuous. They usually are virgins from fear or shame and a handful of pleasant sexual experiences opens a floodgate. They’re also more imaginative and more pent-up sexually.
We're all gonna make it brahs 👍
We're all mad here brah...
Amen to that
I have some bad news on that I'm afraid
WE GOTTA CHANGE BRAH. Saying we gonna make it ain’t it anymore
I don’t think so anymore
So true and so much value in this. Wish it was articulated to me like this years ago. One thing I would challenge is the view “after kids there’s only divorce” for a woman to look forward to. I get where it’s coming from but I also think growing the kids into independence and enjoying the success of a stable family into older age is something we as men can continue to offer.
Spot on Sire! As always!!
Loyalty is a survival adaptation that mostly men developed over the course of evolution. You are always valued at what you can do for me tomorrow. And not what you have done in the past. Past performance is not a guarantee for future results. This applies in all relationships. At work, in sports and almost every aspect of life.
Another brilliant take. I understand your point of view in (getting) keeping a woman satisfied on the long run... We all have heard from them "I need more" but on a more distant cynical tone you are also giving all the arguments to AVOID women all together. Because that game you showed how it must be played right now is a genuine zero sum game for men.
Indeed!!!
Simply brilliant! Your ability to promote understanding these important dynamics is peerless. My life would be considerably different if I'd understood these things in the last as well as you've helped me understand them now. Kudos, Sir Orion!
Totally spot on once again. I lived this once, I gave my all, and tho it wasn't much, in the end, she was like I gave nothing. Took my own way, away from women in my life, I regret nothing.
In other words, it's about how you make her feel; and whether you can keep making her feel that way. Let's be honest. If a woman gave me great sex for 5 years, but then lost her sex drive and stopped (even if it isn't her fault), I would also find it hard to stay with her. So this principle about past being irrelevant applies to men just as to women to some degree. The difference is that the man will stay longer and is less likely to cheat before he leaves - provided he has principles, of course. Many don't.
Men have a sense of DUTY, that most women do not. The amount of men that will stick around and be sexless out of a sense of duty would shock most people. but i agree with you. but we ALL hear about the the low quality guys who cheat, because ALL women talk & cry about em and we all sympathize with them. But NO one really talks about the womn who step out on the men, just because they can, and its exciting.
@@inconnu4961 Agreed about duty (especially if there are children in the picture). Contrarily, many women's only duty is to their emotions, and they seem to have no qualms weaponizing children or exploiting them (e.g. through alimony). Yeah, why women don't play video games? Because they can play with men's hearts. Let's face it, the society conditions men to think women are all sweet and pure, and it makes them easy targets. And women are like sharks: if they smell blood (weakness), they come and tear their target apart. They detest weak men, and have no qualms doing the most horrible things to them, and it doesn't burden their conscience. Well, lots of this can be mitigated with good upbringing, but this part has been on a steady decline in the west for many years.
😅 Your premise is actually a reality. Plenty of dudes in sexless marriages yet they're still married. Cheaper to keep her.
@inconnu4961 I'd say most MODERN women don't have a sense of duty, in the older days wonen had a duty to bear children, take care of the household and raise their children, and they held that duty very well for a very long time. Modern women on the other hand are just entitled.
@@inconnu4961 “low quality guys who cheat” You sure it’s the low quality guys that are cheating? Usually low quality guys struggle with maintaining a gf at all much less cheating on them down the road
In my case, the script was flipped. She out earned me by 2 to 1, and I was according to her and her circle of friends, a trophy husband, but with one major difference: I’m a man, and being a man, you “man up” and always finish what you start. She knew this; I knew this. We were together for 37 years until she passed. I spent the last 3 months being her nurse/shadow 24/7 during her cancerous demise. Despite my lifelong commitment to her, towards the end, she said to me the most shockingly profound thing, “if you were going through this, I couldn’t help you through this”. But, being a man, I’ve always understood that we have certain gender burdens that come with being a man. I’m just a man.
Brilliant! Never heard it like that before
So true. The song “what have you done for me lately “, comes to mind.
That's why when a woman breaks a long relationship and gets with a new man, she can quickly be already "in love" with (what she images of) him. She sees all that potential, even if she barely knows the guy. When you're the ex, it sucks of course. But even when you're new guy, it's shocking, how easy they convince themselves, while they don't even know you yet. Both kind of sour us. As the more we invest, the more we lose, instead of the more we build. I'd venture that at least half of the "players" were looking for serious relationships before. It's just the game is way easier that way.
Every single player was a romantic that wanted to be loved, only to have his heart broken.
So many red pill truisms come to mind: “Everything you give her is a gift, everything she gives you is a loan.” (CGA) “They are not to be pleased.” (CGA) “Feed them scraps.” (AMS) “You can’t build equity with a woman.” “Women don’t build, they move in.” “The Bait and Switch after the investment phase in the marriage wheel (CGA).”
Thank you I needed that reminder that no matter what you do, it will never be enough for her.
I learned this relatively recently and it has helped in terms of not feeling resentment if a relationships ends because I now know that whatever I have done for a woman in the past counts for nothing today.
How I wish I had access to your wisdom years ago. I NOW see how many mistakes I made and how my overall approach to relationships with women was SO wrong. I actually thought all of my past actions and my current presence was enough for a woman. Now I see I should have focused much more on the future and emphasized what I could provide that I already hadn't.
Simp.
Yes, for the most part you are right about a woman's thirst that really does not satisfied by a man, especially today's women. On top of this is the lack of appreciation by a woman, becomes destructive and very hurtful to a man. Working in woman's senior's home I think as women age it all catches up on them, people around them feel disposable by these woman too. There is an old saying, what comes around goes around. Could this be true?
You have such excellent metaphors. The past is prologue to what she wants to be a neverending story, and you'd better be ready to keep that swashbuckling romance alive. This goes with the idea of being a ship's captain, seeking to employ a navigator, and during courtship she is keenly considering the benefits package -- counterbalanced with your advice that "only founders get equity," since so many girls open their bidding with a straight-faced ask for an equity stake, whether she was there at the start with you or not.
Great video. Good stuff. Thank you
LOL Ha Ha Ha ----- Where were you with this advice 40 years ago ???? Best information 2 give young men 16 - 21, a must have 4 their rite of passage. Great work Doc, I'm still laughing @ myself. Dilly Dilly, Jolly Well Done
Yes it’s quite truthful but do you think men knowing this at all young age will help dating and relationships in the long term? If we sat boys and girls down freshman year high school and gave them The complete breakdown of male and female nature - do you think it would overall improve dating and relationships or make them less functional? Imo it hurts more than Helps but that sounds ass backwards as I always think the truth should be known
@@brianmeen2158 it hurts but pain makes us learn. pain is core memory. rememberance is the way brain saying, " don't forget". anytime a cycle in history is repeated is the way the universe say "don't forget". This generation will learn from such pain, we just need to support each other in doing so, or else we may misstep.
Dilly dilly indeed 😂😂
Brutal. But that is a great tip and extremely relevant even after 35yrs of marriage. Next on the list of things I don't want are: - pool - apartment in the city - renovations - … We do it all for ❤️
Sounds like a "never happy" dysfunctional consumerism to me. What a headache. What's love have to do with materialistic possessions?
This is as true and succinct as it gets.
Thank you once again Dr. I discovered your channel at the absolutel right time. And your channel has always delivered.
100% true 100 % agree . I have been married for 17 years to one women.
35 years here and I also agree 100%
A sumnary for both men snd women. A womans interest is not maintained by what you do for her. A womans interest is maintained by what said woman does for you. Just as your interest as a man is maintained in her by what you are willing to do for her.
What a great video to start the day. I'm revitalised and happy
This blew my mind because of how accurate it seems to be
Well… I would say that companionship, love, comfort, partnership and growing old in this lifetime was some of the things I looked forward to him giving me. Unfortunately, he passed away shortly after his 70th birthday. I love your advice for the under 40 viewers. Those of us over the age of 50 have figured out the things that really matter in life. I have discovered through your channel the type of woman I don’t want to be.
...only took 50 or more years
Thanks for sharing your story and I'm sorry for your loss. The most important information I've seen on any of these channels (in terms of a predictor of relationship success) is that the woman has to actually value male companionship. In it's pure sense (just the enjoyment of it) and not solely for it's associated benefits. It didn't come from this particular channel. I cant remember which one it was now. For all Orion's posts throw up some interesting little insights, I don't think any have any real significance compared to that one simple, foundational point. I was struck by what you said as you appeared to reference it yourself. Sadly it's a very rare trait! Thats a shame for men and women alike.
@@sammyb1651 strangely it seemed when I hit 60 I began to really love and respect what my man did to keep me attracted to him.
That sound like beautiful things, I'm happy you had the things you did.
Sorry for your loss
As long as you are offering something the relationship will drag on .also if her survival is attached to you and you are the means to it.then it will move forward otherwise its pretty much a dead end.i believe its a matter of when you get redundant in her mind,the idea of your usefulness.
The moment you don't need a job you hate you are out the door, same for a woman in a relationship.
Yup I’ve been experiencing this very thing with a woman. Thank God for your insight Orion 🙏
He is talking sense...good work
That is why marriage should only be reserved for the sake of raising children and even then, it should only be a fixed term engagement, say 25 years max. after which either party can walk away without financial losses. If both actively sign up for any number of additional years, all the power to them.
💯
just don't marry and you can have that
God is not amused at you redefining marriage (which He invented) to suit your own needs.
@@j.p.5716if he has such a problem with it tell him to do something about it.
@@j.p.5716 boohoo
This video throughly encapsulates the main concepts of all of the Briffault’s laws. Each every single of those individual principles are uncomfortable truth that every man should learn to assimilate. The earlier, the better.
I wish I knew all these things when I was a young man and avoided so much pain. As always, you are right on the money, Orion.
After watching several of your videos and having recently in my longest and most serious relationship after 9 years of being single, I wish I had seen them earlier. Idk whether to be hopeful or not of ever been in another relationship again. Thanks for the content!
"if you're liking what you're hearing.." Orion I don't really like what I hear, though I strongly feel there is a lot of truth in what I'm hearing 😅
I wish you had given examples so it sounded less like manipulation and more like life mapping. I see this as the “we grew apart” issue. If you are family and life planning, the two of you grow together. You are setting and attaining goals as a unit. Marriage, finances, home, health, kids, career, business, community, retirement. Those are some areas you can look forward to making shared strides in that are organic, productive, meaningful. You don’t have to keep manufacturing odd things like expensive gifts or trips unless you have the wrong person. I just feel like this video was thin in what this future planning could look like. Find out your partner’s interests and passions and set goals in those areas and support each other in reaching them.
Perfect reply 😊
Well said
Unfortunately, now I see that where the mental place is, his methods and approaches are always going to be about manipulations. Honestly I doubt any of his theories actually work for helping men to get healthy and long lasting relationships since they are all about getting the upper hand controls over the designated servant ( in his term).
I'm guessing All of You are women.
I dont think helping your girl's/wife's goals solves any issue. My ex wife said i was the best mentor and help around for her interest/career path on our last therapy session. Looking back, it kind put me in a supporting role even though I was the bread winner giving her monthly allowances.
Guys, really, make notes on this.... then read your notes and implement them. This is one of Orion's best.