This is a look at some common behaviors and patterns I've seen in men overall, clients I've worked with, and my own life. Patterns that erode our capacity to truly live, lead, and love.
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Old African proverb: “If young men are not given a place in the village, they will burn it down to feel its warmth.”
It's not an African proverb, and the sex or gender is not specified. “If the fires that innately burn inside youths are not intentionally and lovingly added to the hearth of community, they will burn down the structures of culture, just to feel the warmth." - Poet Michael Meade ( Men and the Water of Life, 1993)
I like the proverbial version better
Pfft. I know some women who would do the same thing. 👸🏻 😂🙃😘
@@ArtandGoblins Just because some poet expressed the same sentiment doesn’t make them the original author of it. For all you know it’s much older, and he just rewrote it to make it sound more poetic.
I like this old African proverb.
I'm 34, single, no kids, making 75K per year and women around me are just red flags. Im investing into my happiness and new experiences at this point. Overall, just focusing on my health and peace of mind.
Good for you! Not everyone needs or wants the same things!
What kind of work did you take up? If you don’t mind me asking, that is. I’m 31 and single and still been trying to figure out my future for work and just trying to gain perspectives from different people.
How I see it is that, the biggest mistake someone can make is thinking that having a wife and child will make your life happier. You should NEVER have a wife and kid because they are a necessity towards your happiness, no. That co dependency. You should only have a wife and child to ENRICHEN your life, make it better. Not be the sole purpose of having a family.
At this point, I recommend most people become passport bros.
You are doing the right thing. However this youtuber is wrong. He is preaching soft control which turns you into a weak man in the end incapable of pursuing the right woman once you and her come across each other. This mentality he is preaching is reason why here in Japan birthrates are abysmal and women are sharing "dark horses" with each other, because men here have become weak by following this exact path the the video dude believes.
1. Lacking impulse control: 01:36 2. Getting stuck with needing a woman to verify or validate your value: 06:57 3. We haven’t clarified our values or morals, or we continually make decisions that compromise those values and morals: 08:58 4. Lacking the ability to say no to yourself: 09:30 5. Settling for an okay career or job or business: 12:31 6. Lacking like minded men that are willing to challenge you: 17:19 7. Not prioritizing seeing what your body is capable of [doing] physically via testing your body: 21:17 8. Choosing domestication over discipline and pushing your edge//Lacking rituals: 24:23 9. Not taking money seriously: 26:07 10. Disconnecting from a sense of wonder and awe: 30:07
Thanks
true hero
Thanks
No 1. Making a Top Ten Video without Timestamps. God Bless you KEith!
Good man.
Making money is action. Saving money is behavior. Growing money is knowledge. Giving money is awesome!
Love this
The more you give, the more you receive.
@@mullcrumthesage6303 explain this one. If I have $10 and I give away five dollars. Now I have five dollars less than I started with. How do I get more from that?
@@Stovetopcookie You give the $5.00 (amount is irrelevant) to some bloke down on his luck..said bloke sees you one day and remembers what you did for him. He gives you $20 or more and maybe even buys you dinner. That's one way. This is a simplistic answer to your question. I do not have the time to share with you the innermost secrets of this LAW. You shall have to discover that for yourself. Good luck.
Well said.
Im 55. And as I get older I see the simple things are So important now. I’ve given up most material things. Cars, nightclubs. I have a partner and we do the simple things now. Health is so important as you age. More than money.
I am 53 and I am at this stage you are in life 👌🏿👌🏿🤲🏿
P@@JOESUBA122
I agree with all of that except having a partner. I'm staying single.
Find Jesus Christ and your life will change for the better
@@philobailey5627 and live by His moral law.
#9, "not taking money seriously", is a double-edged sword. Some men have been just as badly buggered up by taking money TOO seriously.
That's not a double edged sword, those are two extremes. A double edged sword is something that's a benefit and a liability.
@@bigballz4u lol, fine. But the point is still valid: taking money too seriously (fixating on it, etc.) can cause problems just like not taking it seriously enough can.
@@johnalexir7634Well said
I think if you take money too seriously you’ll have about 95 percent less financial problems than someone that doesn’t care at all about money.
@@bigballz4uA double edged sword - something that has both good and bad consequences. So taking money too seriously, the good-you've got a lot of money, the bad-it comes at a cost to your relationships and your health.
60 yr old woman here. This video came into my feed and I decided to watch. WOW! all these points can be applied to life by anyone of any age. Even at my age, I need guidance and encouragement, so thank you ❤️
65 WF so same - very enjoyable presentation and excellent points to apply to my own life!! Thank you! subbed❤
He talks about chasing pu-y over purpose. This applies to you?
Ha!! You're kidding. You have it easy!!
@iamwhoiam7887 you don't know her! How can you say anyone you don't know has it easy. EVERYONE had struggles you know nothing about.
@@tomfagan7053 LOL sit down s i m p
I'm 37. Single. If there's one thing that I know I need it's better friends. Not because I have bad friends, but because the level of friendships that I've been maintaining have not been reciprocating what I need
Everyone just takes
@@richkid5307 exactly! especially ho3s
Something that helped me was finding men’s groups that share my values. They respect my vision and goals, and they support my journey and celebrate my wins. It’s really game changing when you have this.
@@BchristensenYea even myself as a young man is that all the friends that ihave dont challenge me and i cant learn something valuable from them. So these past few days i feel like as am growing ineed people who can uplift me also.
Birds of a feather flock together. We are most aligned with people who are similar to ourselves. Comparison and challenge is the thief of joy. 8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix IMAGO Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters Safe People by Henry Cloud Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin
I'm 30 year old male with mental disability, I still strive to improve myself and building discipline around my habits and money, so far 2024 is going to be the best year so far in my life! Thanks for helping my peers!
You rock my man! Wishing you the best in 2024! 😎
Try mediation. Your disability might actually be an ability.
Youre a rockstar for striving to be a great man. Keep it up. I believe in you and im rooting for you!!!
Stay away from drama.
POP is my new slogan. Purpose over P.....
@@JuliusTurner-hm6ffwhat?
I just want to say that as a woman, I really appreciate your channel. It’s disheartening to see how much of the manosphere is made up of bitter men, pick-up artists, raging skeptics and well-dressed cynics. It’s even sadder that these men have become the face of it. I truly believe it is imperative for both men and women to have mentors guiding them towards crucial self-development, rather than encouraging them to make heaps of money and blame the opposite gender for their shortcomings. I’ve noticed channels like those become the most popular because they are polarizing and appeal to people’s most base emotions. But channels like yours are a true gem. Keep up the good work!
As a man that follows this type of content a lot, I agree wholeheartedly and it’s scary how easy it is to fall into a rabbit hole of that more hateful content
It's easy to learn to hate women from the internet when we were really on looking for advice on how to love them more.
To destroy society, destroy the family. To destroy the family, destroy marriage. To destroy marriage, destroy chastity. To destroy chastity, promote & reward promiscuity while demoting & punishing monogamy. Politics is downstream from culture. Whoever controls the past controls the future. Whoever controls the present controls the past. Whoever controls the politic controls the present. Whoever controls the culture controls the politic (politics=downstream from culture) Whoever controls the p*ssy controls the culture. Blue Pill- The belief that both genders, possessing equal natures, will on average possess equal proclivities to be moral & responsible given equal qualities & quantities of invested nurture. Red Pill- The awareness that men & women, having different natures, will on average possess different proclivities to be moral & responsible given equal qualities & quantities of invested nurture, & how this effects societies, micro & macro. Masculine republics give way to feminine democracies, and feminine democracies give way to tyranny. -Aristotle The micro cycle(80 years): Hard times create strong men Strong men create good times Good times create baby boomers Baby boomers create hard times... The macro cycle(800-1200 years): Hard times create patriarchy(where rights are dependent on responsibilities, since men usually take more responsibilities than women this system is described as patriarchy) Patriarchy creates good times Good times creates feminism(equal rights independent of responsibilities) Feminism burns everything down, creating hard times... To Adam God said, "Because YOU LISTENED TO YOUR WIFE & ate from the tree about which I commanded you not to: Cursed is the ground because of you, through painful toil you will eat of it, all the days of your life." -Genesis 3:17 Man's hiearchy of needs: 1 Safety 2 Food & Water 3 Shelter & Sleep 4 Social & Sexual needs 5 Communal & self esteem needs 6 Self Actualization In every category of need in men's need hierarchy, the average women's needs are met better in society, yet every election women vote to take more from men and give more to themselves?! Women's hiearchy of needs: 1 Equality of Opportunity 2 Equality of Outcome 3 Equality of Authority 4 Equal Authority with no Responsibility 5 All the Authority with no Responsibility for the women, with all the Responsibilities & no Authority for the man or men(especially sexual Responsibilities & Authorities). A tyrant has 100% authority with 0% responsibility. A slave has 100% responsibility with 0% authority. Today marriage, as redefined by the female democratic majority and family court system, makes the man a slave to a tyrant wife, who can divorce him at will, stealing his children, his wealth, and his human dignity. All womens natural unregulated desire is to have sex with high status bad bad boys & get innocent men to pay for the responsibility consequences(abortions, kids ect.). That's why women, no matter how meritocratic, should never vote. Women want equal rights authority to make all the decisions in their own life when the bad boy sexual opportunity is there. Its when accountability & responsibility slowly begin to fall on them that women want to shift responsibility back over to innocent men. This process of forcing innocent men to pay for the bad sexual choices of most women & and a few extraordinary men is the foundation of left wing politics. Women want to sit at the poker table of the socio-sexual market place & make bets & authorize promises in the hundreds of thousands in reproductive costs when they can only actually back up a few pennies worth of responsibility. If women CAN'T take responsibility for a authorization, then they CAN'T have equal authority/rights as the guy who can. Show me a man who takes by force what he wants from women and I'll show you 100 women who vote to take by force what they want from men. Show me a grave created by patriarchy and Ill show you an entire graveyard created by feminism/communism. "Any society that negates the role of the father in the voluntarily marriage contract from decent civilization building men and replaces it with a involuntary centralized welfare state will not remain civilized for long."
You are watching the wrong channels. There are plenty of decent people on here. But also, Making money? Absolutely vital....to men. Women, also need to seriously up your game. You can sex up, but cant keep men, MEN around.
🎉🎉🎉🎉
Thanks for this video, man. I'm a 50 y/o male, happily married with a lady that alignes with my values. I have a lot of job satisfaction as well (I'm a teacher in an international school. I have a problematic relationship with alcohol and my friend, who was an alcoholic, will be cremated today. I've decided to quit alcohol for good and improve drastically on living my life more purposeful. I think you should add two things to the list. 1. Sobriety is a must 2. Emotionally heal yourself before moving on this path: inner child work. My dad was emotionally absent and I projected him onto my "friends". I noticed that, who I call friends, are just drinking buddies. They are alcoholics. That realization opened my eyes. I have good male friends that barely drink. I can deeply connect with them. I'm going to find a support group of men, like you proposed. Thanks for being so inspiring. Peace out.
Amen to both these call outs brother. I've been running a mens group for a little over a year and these two issues are constantly comming up. Otherwise great video!
Ho BRAVE t be so vulnerable to be so REAL. Wishing you well on your healing journey--check out PATRICK TEAHAN online. Some great talks about healing family dynamics, sobriety etc
I’m 50, used to teach in an international school and quit booze a few months ago. How’s your sobriety going?
Regarding settling for the wrong job or career -- be careful what you succeed at because our successes restrain us more than our failures.
I had to take a screenshot of this. Thanks! 😊
Love this
That point about wonder and awe is probably the most important. At 52 years old, I’ve witnessed so many of my male friends and colleagues become professional problem solvers. I’m guilty of that too, I became an emotionless zombie for several years as I paid off my mortgage. Fortunately a total breakdown got me back into making art and enjoying being a step dad. (You can learn so much from kids and their unbridled enthusiasm) Our society over values the rational man.
God insights & observatons that need to be made more often.
I disagree. I see way to many impulsive man-children running around.
I'm 35 and single, no kids and I want to start entering the dating scene soon. When I was younger, I felt rejection and I don't want to feel that again. I'm manifesting good things for the near future and I hope things work out. I have a career, I'm improving my body, mind and health and I'm staying positive. I'm hoping for the best.
I surmise you're intelligent and probably think a lot. Here's something to ponder. Nobody can truly reject you until they know you deeply. I'm betting what you're afraid of may not be rejection, but the letdown of the romantic idealism you're building up in your head, no? Let them show you what they are first and decide if you want to love that. ❤️
@@TheBigdog868 I agree
That’s awesome but stay away from young girls… you had your chance don’t going around ruining them… That’s why the world and relationships between men and women jack up now….
Stay away from the dating sites. Toxic as hell even to good looking guys.
Read "Men Are From Mars, Women are From Venus". This year will make 27 years of marriage and I absolutely love it.
Ten years ago, I saw the shift to put women in control was in full swing. Five years ago I was watching it play out, with no direction. Feminism brought about man-bashing and men losing thier direction. People with mental health issues living off of others, no accountability. Two years ago, as we repaired after covid, everything is a disaster. Women who could be counted on for service or help are now all working from home, letting their kids sit in front of screens all day. No one has any ambition, life has been stripped from your young men. And now I see more videos like this. There's a growing shift back to what works. Men supporting men, so many great advice channels. Keep up the great work.
You're off by about 60 years. The feminist movement started in the 1960s. It was originally called "womens lib." Perhaps it had come to full realization 10 years ago.
62 … 32 years in small town America running a brick and mortar on Main Street USA .. Corporate America wiped out 90% but still standing .. wealthy no surviving yes.. this man is RIVETING!.. brother you are very grounded and introspective..
Thanks, all ten are so definitely worth seeking. As an 82 year old, finding wonder is definitely an exciting part of life.
I’m 70 thinking it’s too late, yet isn’t is?
Regarding #5 and bad jobs: For many men, the statement their job makes about their life is "I care more about supporting my family than pursuing 'success'". For a man to go to work and bring home a paycheck, then spend time with his family can make a 'bad job' enough.
"On your own terms". Your terms are always your own, they just change with maturity. Grow and keep growing and find your purpose. It takes time. Lighten up!
Dont blame me for who i am The duality of man is something i have yet to understand
2 pieces of advice. As you get older, you will remember chasing skirts, just not all the reasons why. The second is that life is just learning to survive your issues. Just when you think you got something on lock, you don't.
I loved the part about taking money seriously. I'm 5 years into that portion and rebuilding my relationship with money.
That is a big one. I'm 28 and I have fucked my finances bad. Now things are better, but it took a lot of hard work when I could have been building instead...
@@geo865833 don't be so hard on yourself - some lessons just have to be learnt through experience. In my twenties I learnt the hard way to avoid bad debt and be very careful with so-called "good debt" (banks are skilled at seducing people into borrowing more than is necessary or wise).
Im 34 and fucked up my finances bad.. youll be good brother. I traveled from 20-28 then built. Now, its much more difficult. Build a network and maintain a good attitude with those people. @geo865833
One area of impulse control that I have found to be important and productive is to control what you say out loud. This would apply to texts on social media even knowing there is little immediate or personal risk from essentially anonymous comments. In the work world or in real life though you will benefit by not always saying the first thing that enters your head. Impulses come with a physical sensation of tension that you can learn to recognize and use as a signal to stop, slow down, and reconsider your reaction to whatever is happening right now.
How true, my marriage would be on a better path if my husband actually thought about what he says to me. So many hurtful words, breaking me down bit by bit. Then he recounts and tries to say this doesnt matter.
Wow, truly a gem of a comment.
I can seriously relate. Sometimes something will shock it deeply sadden me and I laugh hysterically. I'm not being frivolous or joking. I honestly don't know why this happens.😮
THIS. has kicked me in the a$$ more times than I care to admit. Social media use is an invitation to waste one's time and possibly give someone ammo to try and wreck your life over something you did or said whether it's deserved or not.
I am a retired 70 yo white male professional! I achieved my doctorate and financial success! I married once, and the relationship lasted 15 years! I never remarried because I just never needed that that dynamic again! In reflection if I was to advise any young man it would be wait until your 35 before you consider marriage! You need that amount of time to mature and develop life wisdom! Otherwise you are a deer in the headlights in this complicated society! Thanks to the generator of this podcast and very sound principles for living for men!
40, single, and no kids. I’m cool with it. I can do what I want when I want. If that makes me selfish then I’m selfish. Relationships are overrated. I’m on a solo mental and spiritual journey at the moment. Maybe I’ll feel differently about having a partner to walk through life with but if it never happens again for me that’s ok.
I’m 57. I’ve followed much of what is discussed in this video, but I would say, it was mostly by accident and not as deliberate as I should have. That said, this is an excellent summation and framework for success. I have been trying to show my boys this (leadership by example). They are kinda stumbling through this also, eventually coming to the same realizations. As far as having the right men in one’s life, I would say this is absolutely a necessity. My dad guided and sometimes pushed me in the right direction. In the military, there were many who set a great example. I still work with phenomenal people, but I will say that the number of close male relationships has dwindled as I am more selective with those I spend my time with. But I still have many buddies, guys who I still consider brothers, who I can go without seeing for 30 years, and when we get together it is as if not a day had gone by, except we all look old now.
I had lots of difficulty in getting my life in order. I didn't know the root causes. This video has helped me tackle the issues and I'm now gaining lots of self awareness.
Thank you for this video. Not only did you offer high quality guidance but the way you communicate resonates with me.
Sat and took notes in my Notion! Really resonate with every step/bullet and can relate on so many points! Tnx for putting this out into the world! ❤
As a teacher I can see how we are failing our boys. We’re not teaching or even encouraging impulse control. We are not providing consequences for poor decisions in male children. They will suffer later.
At time point 12:34 is mention of careers. A lot of men in this particular case opting for the lower options (so to speak) comes from childhood trauma and a symptom of that. The great channel Crappy Childhood Fairy makes many points that resonates with the presenter here. Childhood traumas can really impact the male career and esteem trajectory.
Agree, I have been watching some material from Crappy Childhood Fairy, and I also found connections with the video here. I think the impulse control that he talks about is how to develop one's emotional intelligence.
Carppy Childhood Fairy is really good! Another wonderful online therapist is PATRICK TEAHAN: he shares his own struggles and what he did to heal as well as insightful analysis, journal prompts for change. Just really good!
Impulse control has been my downfall. Great insight and advice on being able to fast from impulses. Definitely going to implement
The talk about a sense of purpose really hit it for me. I used to think to live with a purpose was more about a tangable goal (finances, relationships, career, etc) but it seems to be more intangable than that, and that is exciting!
This was very enlightening. The first point of impulse control made a lot of sense to me. No wonder my marriage has been a challenge. Appreciated hearing this from a man's point of view.
May I ask, how is the impulse control related to your marriage being a challenge? I’m here to learn! I appreciate it if you’re able to share your insights.
I find this channel incredibly interesting and resourceful this is the conversations men need to have. I am grateful you where born to grow to be a man of wisdom on KZhead
That last point drove it all home. Reminded me of the positives I've experienced and pulled me straight out of a dark place. Thanks for making this!
#1 getting married too young too fast to not the right person
At a recent 30-year high school reunion everyone was standing up stating their names and gushing over their occupations. Several men stood up postering. I'm a successful lawyer, banker, doctor, etc...and have traveled the world twice over. Then one bashful, lanky guy stands up and says, "Most of you won't remember me. I never played sports, didn't belong to any clubs, and wasn't very popular mostly because of working through my school days to help my family out. I own and operate my own mobile pressure-washing business now and have a wife with 3 kids. There was audible laughter. He turned a shade of bright red and quietly sat back down. Then he slowly stood back to his feet and said, "I don't know if any of you noticed but there's only one brand new limited edition Corvette parked out in the parking lot. It belongs to me and It's paid in full...so is my house I owe no one anything." For a moment or two, you couldn't hear a church mouse licking lard...then there was a roar from hands clapping from all around him excluding those who had mocked him in the first place. Be careful of who you laugh at. I had a friend in banking tell me that most of the people in the biggest houses in gated communities with fancy cars and country club memberships were so upside down they would never be able to right the ship. Then there were tradesmen of the area that were the silent millionaires twice over. The plumbers, welders, car detailers, bricklayers, and many other men who use their hands to make a living are all getting in the last laugh. Society has it all upside down and looks can always be deceiving. Who is stable and happy and who is really stable and happy? It's all one, big, fat shiny illusion.
Naw.
cool story bra, almost like someone said the same thing like 1000 times over but you, you are an original thinker... way to go outside your comfort zone there, really pushing the limits.. people are such pussies these days..jfc.
@@kennedyhair8434 Howling , can stell you are Scottish
Stop making stories up
@@ZelenoJabko the truth either hurts or it will set you free
You have a very good perspective. I thank you for sharing this and having the courage to post a video like this in this day and age. Personal growth is my current passion. I hope to find others that feel similarly.
Thank you. Gems and s.m.a.r.t. goals. Really appreciate the time and motivation to spend time and energy to broadcast this.
I really loved all the points you made, it resonated with me on a deeper level. Thank you so much & god bless you
On #6 “lacking likeminded men”, I just wanted to say that regardless of being a man or a woman, deciding well on your friendships will be very impactful. Specially in men, I’ve seen how bad men can really be bad influences to other men affecting their health and family lives, unfortunately.
My formula is to imagine 3 bubbles around me. The fartherest one is the circle of respect. Seeing and being seen with respect. After observation for awhile they can come into the circle of trust. After that the inner circle is called the love.
Every human being is the mirror of the 5 closets people to them.. Facts.
You got a subscription from me because of that last point. That one just about pulled me tears dude, thank you needed to hear that last one.
As a life coach and as an older guy, I have to say thanks for this video. Impulse control, yes it is a big thing, I am still working on it myself and it definitely is a common theme with my clients. The last thing you talked about, cultivating and maintaining a sense of awe, also really hit me. And what you said about finding a meaningful career/ business, also vital, and the main theme of my own coaching. Great video and I have subscribed to your channel.
thank you so much for this! Rituals and discipline, good one I need to work more on. Finding make friends is tricky and hard for me, being introvert and a bit of a loner, and it seems counterintuitive at first. I really liked the one on awe and wonder, a good reminders of my life goals and life purpose. Everyone needs a strong life purpose , dream big !
Man, I really needed to hear this today (for a variety of reasons). Thank you
Glad to hear. Thanks for tuning in
I found your channel tossing and turning last night. I'm a 31 year old autistic NEET with ADHD & disabling subclinical issues. Every day is a hellish experience without some kind of regulating mechanism. Wim Hof and breath holds get me out of bed. Daily running and gym consistency keep my physical body in the top .01% of men my age. However, the despair still persists. And much of it is environmental. Inability to "able" myself in my world of disabling mental conditions. People that aren't autistic will generally have good intentions and do their best to encourage me, but in the end, it's a subtle form of gaslighting. My neurotype doesn't fit the hussle culture no matter what I do without an understanding of my limitations. But there really is some solid advice in here for all men, and this is exactly what I needed this morning. Thank you!
There are hundreds of thousands of night security jobs where you can sit at a desk, look at your phone, talk to nobody, and make money. Just because you can't hustle doesn't mean you can't work and neither does having limits. The entire damn world is being slowed and dumbed down to help people who can't keep up and you still claim you can't work. Coming from a similar background as you and not working full time until 29, I'm not buying the idea you can't work.
This is the best advice I've received in a long time. Great work and thank you. I have some big decisions to make.
Simplified and improved: men need to have good character, self control, and need to focus on being the best version of themselves
...let the man talk. Because nothing you said here improved on his video in any way.
@kermusic If you prefer long-windedness. For the rest of us who prefer concise speech, Much improved
TikTok brain
@@raulsanches3619simplified version: men need to be like, really good Don't waste your time reading a lot watching anything but my comment, fellas
@@RynoGotIt It's called: not having time to waste.
Marriage is the number one way men destroy themselves.
No wonder y’all keep breaking y’all’s loneliness statistics every month
@@lacijohnson400 you misspelled happiness.
@@lacijohnson400 women have the higher rates of medication, unhappiness, and depression.
@@johngalt6838 these are recorded because women express and seek help for these conditions, men instead just unalive themselves ☹️
@@lacijohnson400 not...the suicide rates for either are extremely low. They don't match the medication and depression rates of women.
This is a great presentation. Thank you for the balanced perspective. It is obvious that you practice your convictions. You are authentically being what you are saying. It brings a sense of possibility and peace, even as some of us will struggle with manifesting your recommendations. All the best
I feel like your video found me at the right time. Realy valuable advice. And some what pointed out some things i was doing wrong and couldn’t see for myself. Thank you ❤
In a 34-minute video I gained more needed perspective than years of counseling ever produced- thank you from a new subscriber!
Timestamps would be so great!
How glad i am to stumble upon your channel! I'm subscribed! I can so associate with everything you say.
Thank You ManTalks, You Are Needed.
Damn dude thanks for the honesty. You hit the nail right on the head.
Thank you Conor. I too needed to hear this today. "Chasing 🐈over purpose".
Glad to hear. Ya that one was a big one for me
Internally, I knew these points already. But hearing them enumerated, explained, and related to me like this will make it easier to keep them in mind and put into practice. Thank you for making this very well done video.
Love the analysis! Just a piece of advice to the viewers, whenever you come across such timely messages let not the excitement of just knowing prevent you from acting. Time has no limit. Allow yourself enough grace to cultivate all this as part of you, let it take root in you and eventually the fruits will just come at the right time. Don’t chase
I wish I heard this 15 years ago. Such an important knowledge. Thank you.
I love channels that specifically are for men and validate their problem, teach them to take responsibility for themselves, instead of just teaching them to blame all their problems on “modern women“ or whatever
Love your channel man. Keep up the great work.
You described me totally ... i am lacky and lazy but im going to take my life seriously from now on
I think people really underestimate what it means to be financially responsible. I seen and heard people making well over 6 figures but living paycheck to paycheck or financially broke. I seen people making 50 to 60k a year and have savings, investments and a home. What I am trying to say, what really matters is how much you get to keep at the end of the financial year.
Your comment is right on. I’ve been the poster child of lifestyle creep. I have things I never could have imagined 20 years ago but life seems tougher. If I could lose one or two bills I’d be rich .
This has to be in the top 3 coolest talks I've ever heard, and I've been tuned into self-improvement and KZhead for a long time now. Thanks Connor!
Stumble across this by accident. Thank you ! I shared this with my two sons. The three of us can benefit from this
33:31 I appreciate you speaking to these topics, not the least of which is having the sense of “awe and wonder.” Thank you.
Great video! Thanks for sharing this message.
I'm 65 going to be 66 and I lived a wonderful exciting adventurous passionate life and listening tonight to this channel is inspiring and should be to every man who's You are very smart for a man of your age keep it up
A piece of advice : Before you decide to get married or have kids, make sure you have had the "Freedom" you wanted. I'm not talking about being a millionaire only, but enjoying your life by yourself. And realizing you have built your own life, space, money, body, mind, whatever else you wanted to.
When I started watching this, I was concerned there would be a lot of work to do. Quite the opposite, this has been an empowering watch! I really respect your controlled, quiet and yet emotionally attuned tone. So refreshing in times of AI videos teaching men about how to be cold, stoic machos!
"Bird shot" would be the more accurate analogy in this case. "Buck Shot" fires in a more condensed cluster so it can take down larger prey vs. bird shot which is spread out more to hit a smaller animal or bird often moving quickly. Now that i'm done showing off; thank you Connor. It's like you're reading the story of my life to me. I've made some real improvements in recent months, but still have a long ways to go...
I love your content but if I can offer unsolicited feedback, please add time stamps because this is a long video.
Disconnecting from the sense of wonder and awe is a really big one.
Great value. Thank you for sharing. When people ask me how old I am, my new response has been 'What difference does it make?" (not in a sarcastic way). When you think about it, it doesn't really make any difference. I will not allow age to control or limit me - to the extent I am able.
This video resonated with me on so many levels. I’m currently in the process of a divorce and have decided to better myself for my son and myself. I have relied on alcohol and drugs to pacify my unhappiness with myself and my worth. Every point you bring up in this video I can relate to. Thank you for doing what you’re doing brother. It’s helped to open my eyes to all the aspects of my life that I’ve been slacking on. Do you have any recommendations of any books I could dive into to help me on this journey to become the man I know I can be? Again thank you.
I would recommend Dr. Phil, Self Matters. I hear Life Code by him is also good. Any other book for adult children of alcoholics, if that applies in your case.
12 Rules for life.
@@Deific1 A few solid ideas, but overall so hostile and political. Complains that “liberals are turning boys into girlies with their namby-pamby ways”. Sexist homophobe. Only for people who like Trump and deSantis and who think science is a socialist conspiracy to take over the world. A pretty twisted hard right misinterpretation of Christianity may be the worst of Peterson’s problems.
@@Deific1 Peterson is very angry and political.
Read No More Mr Nice Guy. It gets better, much better. Divorce process sucks. Peace.
I resonate with most of what you shared here. Although something that makes me scratch my head is how man supposed to make time for all this ? I mean men have jobs or run businesses, some have families to take care of, keeping up with bills and appointments, some men are job hunting which takes time, personal development, going to gym, taking courses and by the end of the day say 9pm you're knackered and you supposed to have time to make friends, and when you have friends you supposed to make time for girlfriend. I mean we all have 24 hours and each one of us needs at least 7 hours of sleep, right ? Yes it is true that men used to have more close friends but also it is because life wasn't as demanding as it is today. Correct me if I'm wrong. Also when you spoke about disconnect from sense of wonder and awe. I think it's pretty difficult to enjoy little things in life when you see struggling single mom making ends meet or a man job hunting and getting rejected even for jobs he's overqualified for. You get to enjoy stars on the sky or different smells of flowers when you're not drowning in problems.
As for your first statement: I don't think you're actually meant to do all this in one day, just maintain things one day at a time. Divide the tasks you need to complete into daily chunks and it's a lot easier to think about AND get done at the same time. Life has definitely changed the name of the game. You don't necessarily need close friends to survive in a survival sense, but socially speaking, it is very helpful. People have given me job offers just because they liked me and my friendliness while working at my current job, and while I sometimes turn them down on it, I still like to build the connection so the door is always open. The last part is a little harder to deal with depending on your station in life and honestly, I don't really have what I would consider a sufficient answer to how to deal with a disconnect in fun factor in life.
Beautiful video, long yet informative. The very last point he makes is the best as it encompasses all the nine points prior.
Thank you, brother 🙏 ❤
Thank you for this video, I just subscribed to your channel, I’m 27, An introvert, and I struggle to find a purpose in life, I handle rejection very poorly. And I’m scared to put myself out there, I was diagnosed with chronic depression in the 9th grade. I put myself down way too much. I don’t know what I want in life.
Keep searching Sean, it sure as hell ain't easy but I hope you'll find some purpose soon 🙏
@@TGGWarehousethank you I appreciate that
it sounds like you internalise rejection, that sounds awful and demoralising
Start with a prayer and then hit the gym. It will teach you how to break the egg shell cause of minute conversations, then it will transcend to discipline and consistency. If you are able to have physical pain the brain reciprocates with mental strength. Gain new beneficial habits even if they suck, it’s just for a short time . Carve it into you and watch your circle. Grind it out alone till you find good friends. Lastly end with a prayer and bible indicators about anything that is challenging during your journey . Chase it and have a prosperous new year .
@@galaxygamer247 what are your interests? Is there no purpose there? Rejection is difficult but try to build a mindset that it's their loss more than yours. Avoid the idea that a person or a job is the one and only - become the chooser, not the one hoping to be chosen.
Thanks for this, the one that really resonated with me is money. I always think of money as a pain to deal with, i never carry cash and never check my finances, ignorance is bliss. Now that I'm getting older, and on shaky ground with my marriage I'm thinking about money a lot. It now scares me to think what will happen.
Get brave and start educating yourself about money. Avoid the folks who tell you they can help you get rich quick or show you how to game the system. Managing (or preferably avoiding) debt and budgeting for emergencies and the future are the important things to learn. Learn about bad debt vs "good debt" and understand that good debt can still get you into big trouble and take care no matter how much cash the bank wants to stuff into your pockets in order to buy your future earnings.
Thanks! I've got a budget now and am working towards something. The car I've been wanting to buy (and don't need) can wait.
Once a month, sit down for a few hours and manage your finances. When you get it together you'll actually enjoy managing your finances.
@@zenwarrior3603Thanks for that advice, I've started with trying to notice where I'm leaking money - whether it's interest payments that I don't need to make or a way to better offset taxes by saving a little bit more.
Thank you man I really appreciate this video it's something I needed to watch and hear it's open my eyes to myself and how I'm destroying myself
Love it, mate. Spot on about all the things spoken about. Awe is awesome
I ruined my amazing relationship, i ruined my life, i was in great shape, good mental health, i got together with my ex, lost all impulse control, all purpose, i blamed her lavk of control for this, but honestly inself sabotaged, and 5.5 years later. She left, now i am in the worst rut ever
Thanks for sharing. If nothing else, the absolute lack of engagement around this comment shows me how much people give a damn when a man is down.
Feel your pain
Ya gotta hang on and keep moving forward bro
I really struggle with number nine. I feel like money is the most superficial thing that could ever possibly exist. I think it is a terrible waste of life, trying to make money. There has to be more to life than trying to collect silly pieces of paper with superficial value.
I do a lot of things with money like save etc etc. However I do agree with what you say. I think we can do better as a species together.
You don't collect silly pieces of paper, every single piece of paper is one step towards your freedom (I define it as not having to work for money anymore).
@@christophdenner8878 they are all silly superficial pieces of paper. They have no real value other than the superficial value. They are given. I cannot comprehend that a one dollar bill bill and a $50 bill are essentially the same yet one has 50 times the value of the other. I think it is a huge waste to spend one’s life trying to acquire money.
@@criley49 I guess you are 19 and haven't gained much life experience yet, which is normal at your age.
@@christophdenner8878 I am 38
Incredible video. Thank you for sharing.
This is what I needed. I'm saving this one. Especially the last one. I was always the curious one when it came to wanting moments. FB ranting and playing around with it is a no go. Also like the money talk. My body even feels better watching this.
I pursue the awe and wonder around my life through daily meditation, being very grateful and prayer. The emptyness can only be filled by God. It's a feature, not a bug. 😊
Maybe society destroys men's lives...
It does.....but if you aware you can refuse to be the victim.
So rarely do I comment on videos, but this one is really well put together. For me the lack of male friendships hits home. I used to have plenty of them in my 20s, but then the 30s hit and they all left to focus on kids and home ownership. The final kick has been being in an industry that does not have weekends off, when everyone else only gets together on those days. Taking control of my goals and money is easy compared to maintaining friendships with men, who seem fully occupied in home improvement, parenting, and sports. In the end, friendships with women is easier to find. Much to the detriment of what male frienships offer, unfortunately.
Great video! Thanks so much! I have a 20 year old son in the Coast Guard im sending him this link! Many of the points i see are already on track, but im sure this should inspire him even more!
precisely my issues.. hard to find my worth
This video is very informative and very interesting. I believe the lack of impulse control and the inability to delay self gratification cause many men to go to prison or die young. I agree that most men suffer from the lack of male friendships and male mentors. In a future video, will you explain why girls and boys are raised in the same household but the girls become independent enough to move to their own home while the boys are stuck living at their parents home until age 40?
Men do it to themselves/each other
Interesting you started with impulse control. I finally took action today to reduce my chances of giving in to impulses and it was a huge relief. Big step taken and it'll improve my mood and my relationship. I can look forward now.
'Go and pursue awe and wonder'. Absolutely spot on. It's what a lot of us guys let go of when we become adults. Thanks for the video, great summary on how we mess up our on trajectory.
As a Mexican with no legal status living in nyc is hard , had been so hard for me and most of my workers friends try to have a relationship with woman in New York , this is the reason why we fall on porn , alcohol , loneliness, whe don’t feel confident and masculines because we speed the energy chasing women’s , but you’re right , the real change is inside of us
Even if you find , you'll still feel void after few months. I am 44 now and single .The only perfect partner to my soul is the Holy Spirit who's with my soul until Jesus Christ bails me out of this body and to be in the Kingdom of Father for eternity.
Well, you’re in luck now, because Joe Biden will let you become a citizen.
Too rich. Waltz in illegally AND expect sympathy for feeling a bit lonely? At least you're in the right place for criminals. Good job.
I'd be interested to hear your perspective on men who end up with no partner in life, how do they live up to their purpose? Is it possible to do so without having a partner?
If mans only purpose is to solely be a sperm donation vessel, then you're serving natures purpose only. Spiritual inquiry requires no partner, and the pay off benefits you first instead of nature. If you need a woman to have purpose than you are a slave to nature.
Thats my problem. I have no hope of findin parner and since I realised, Im not motivated anymore to do even simple everyday things.
So far? PlayStation.
@@meinungsfreiheit7004 why do you have no hope of finding your partner? If I may ask?
It really is hard to be inspired when everything you do is just for you and you are in your 50's and realize you will never find a partner
Great vid. A sense of purpose is actually pretty rare. How one manifests this is still a bit of a mystery to me.
Im 50, single and never dated. I keep to my financial goals and don't let women get in the way. My health and well being come first and I am very happy with my life that I can focus on work.