7 Signs of Autism in Men (DSM-5 Symptoms of Autism/Aspergers in High Functioning Autistic Adults)
Signs of autism in adults are often not immediately obvious. The symptoms of autism in high functioning autistic men are often masked by superficial success or intelligence in one area. In this video we'll look at how common autistic behaviour in men corresponds to the DSM-5 autism diagnosis criteria.
Think you might be on the Spectrum? These videos will help!
Are You Undiagnosed Autistic? How To Tell If You're On The Autism Spectrum - • Are You Undiagnosed Au...
Are you Autistic? 25 Questions to ask yourself - • Are You Autistic? 25 Q...
Female Specific Resources:
7 Signs of Autism in Women with Barb Cook - • 7 Signs of Autism in W...
Autism symptoms in GIRLS - • Autism symptoms in GIRLS
What Women With Autism Want You to Know - • What Women With Autism...
CHANNEL LINKS:
Patreon: / aspergersfromtheinside
Facebook: / aspergersfromtheinside
Twitter: / aspiefrominside
Written Blog: aspergersfromtheinside.com/
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Email: aspergersfromtheinside@gmail.com
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// WELCOME TO ASPERGERS FROM THE INSIDE!!
My name is Paul and I discovered I have Aspergers at age 30.
If you're new you can check out a playlist of some of my most popular videos here: / aspergersfromtheinside
Yes, I know, I don't look autistic. That's exactly why I started this blog, because if I didn't show you, you would never know.
As the name suggests, this channel is devoted to giving you insight into the world of Aspergers.
This blog started off being just my story, but I've learned SO MUCH about my own condition
from meeting others on the Autism Spectrum that now I make sure to feature their stories as well.
I've come a long way in my own personal journey.
Now I'm sharing what I've found so you don't have to learn it the hard way too.
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// WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THIS BLOG
You can expect me to get to the point with concise useful information.
I focus on what is most important and don't shy away from difficult topics.
The best way to learn about Autism is to see it in real life ( i.e. via the stories of many, many people on the spectrum).
In this channel I endeavour to show you what Autism and Aspergers look like in real people and to also give you some insight as to what's happening on the inside.
I upload a new video every weekend with some bonus content thrown in mid-week too.
There's always new stuff coming through so be sure to check back and see what you've missed. (Is this where I'm supposed to tell you to hit that subscribe button?)
Topics Include:
- What is Aspergers/Autism?
- Aspie Tips, coping strategies, and advice on common issues
- Learning Emotional Intelligence (this is my special interest!)
- Autism in real life: stories from special guests
Everything I do is and endeavour to go deeper and take you 'behind the scenes' to understand what may, at first glance, seem 'odd'.
oh, and I love busting stereotypes and turning preconceptions upsidedown :)
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// ABOUT ME
I discovered I have aspergers at the age of thrity.
It has been my life's mission to understand these funny creatures we call humans.
My special interest is a combination of emotional intelligence, psychology, neuroscience, thinking styles, behaviour, and motivation. (I.e. what makes people tick)
My background is in engineering and I see the world in systems to be analysed.
My passion is for taking the incredibly complex, deciphering the pattern, and explaining it very simply.
My philosophy is that blogging is an adventure best shared.
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// EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE TRAINING
I also run autism friendly online emotional intelligence training. So if you like my direct, systematic style, and would like to improve your own emotional intelligence skills, check it out here:
emotionsexplained.com.au
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// CONTACT
Blogging is an adventure best shared which means I'd love to hear from you!
Feel free to leave me a comment or send me and email at any time and I'll do my best to respond promptly.
Email: aspergersfromtheinside@gmail.com
Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy this channel!
I look forward to hearing from you!
Peace,
~Paul
Is KZhead trying to tell me something
Yes...KZhead makes us Autistic
good question. good question......
How accurate are KZhead's *other* video suggestions?
I wouldn’t think this way lol but if you feel you could be you might want to see someone
i feel that too
It's weird having a personality as a kid. then wearing a blank mask as a teenager. Then learning to give my mask an acceptable personality. Then realizing I have no idea who I am anymore.
That sounds exhausting and lonely.
Oh my god this is how I feel
Ye its weird some days i feel so damn confident socially and radiate good vibes, and i feel like im being myself but im not sure? Is there ever a way to know? Then theres me when i have bad mood and feel insecure and its a polar opposite. Who am I!!!
@Luke Downing too bad masks still required even if vaccinated. What a world we live in 🥴
I literally don’t know what I’m actually interested in or how I really feel or where I like to visit or what I like to eat. I’m not super passionate about anything. It makes me want to ask my old childhood friends what they thought about me as a youngin. I can’t do that tho because that’d be weird.
I actually told a good friend he might be autistic. Two weeks later he thanked me. He is 53 and asked his brother if he thought he might be autistic and his brother said absolutely. My friend said it changed his life for the better and now understands why he is different.
I broke up with my guy for this behavior. This is what I've been saying but I don't think he knows. We've been reconnecting but I wish he would get diagnosed.
I think it depends on your relationship with the person, and the situation/how you bring it up. Cause yeah honestly if I was struggling with something, I'd be really grateful to find out exactly why, like I'm always having to research and figure it out my issues on my own and then I have to explain it all to my family/friends/doctors, so it'd be nice if someone else could figure it out for me (esp doctors, why do I have to push every step just to get tested/the help I need, it's exhausting)..
i got my diagnosis at 31 when my 2 year old was getting diagnosed, and as we learned more about him and his autism me and my wife both had an "ooohhhhh" moment with me. Feels nice knowing who i am now and not having a poor opinion of myself
What steps did you have to take to get the official diagnosis
@@AbstruseDaPoet spoke to my doctor, then i ended up seeing a few specialists, taking tests and things. it was a very long process and very expensive where i live.
@@its_mew_ That’s ridiculous, learning disabilities and mental health prognostics should not be expensive. I long for a world in which simplistic diagnostic criteria doesn’t cost an arm and a leg to produce.
@@featofclay2295 autism is a learning disability not a mental health condition
@@TommyWashow isnt it a social disability not a learning one? (for high functioning)
Dear comment section: Don’t self diagnose.
precisely, only self-medicate
@@eh8164 lol!
you cant tell me what to do!! im a self-diagnosed doctor, so i can diagnose myself however i please!
As a wise madwoman once said, "Just like the gypsy woman said!"
No do it
"it says, dress code formal, do I need to wear a tie?"...... seems like a completely logical question to me.
It is. Reason from first principles. If you were never exposed to such information, how could you know?
If you're going to ask that, might as well ask what sort of tie: neck-tie, black tie or white tie. I imagine what he meant was asking that question in a context where the answer is plainly obvious to most people, like asking at an interview for an office job whether the dress code is formal when (with some exceptions if you count smart casual, it's a pretty good chance it will be.
It’s funny , I started working in a primary school and there’s only 3 other male staff. 2 don’t wear a tie and the other does. So I had to question my manager on this and then extrapolate where in the workplace handbooks it states this so I can refer back to it privately.
@@theweridohassan you work in a school, you don’t need to dress corporately just professionally. Look at music or history teachers as a good example
@@MusixPro4u so never being exposed to a formal dresscode notice makes you autistic?
I was drawn to autism and worked in a school in the “special education department” in my late twenties early thirties. During that time I learned so much and the children were such a blessing! It is only in my life after that I realize they were teaching me about myself.
I teach too and I had the same realization. The kids were teaching me about me and I often say hey I remember doing that similar thing as a kid too.
let me guess. dr oyalo? :P @@Mp-wc2ch
I used Dr Omena herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Omena on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
In my 70th year and diagnosed only 4 years ago as an Aspie with the extra baggage of childhood trauma, anxiety and (later in life) post traumatic depression. It explained away so many things that I experienced through my entire life. Unfortunately I tend to remember the bad things far more than remembering the good times and I still have anger towards school bullies or work colleagues from over 50 years ago - it was if they only happened last week...still so fresh in my mind. Probably the most hardest experience of all was my gullibility, speaking before thinking and a total inability to read the "office politics". I simply could not get it at all - even if it was spelt out to me five times in a row. I am absolutely convinced this restricted me from achieving higher paid positions and promotions throughout my entire working life. In reflection, it has been a curse and how I wish, how I wish, I had been told this way back in my early 20s. But head doctors simply were not easily available or even considered 50 years ago.......and not knowing what was "wrong" with me for all of that time is the thing that pisses me off so much. Sighhhhhh.
I guess be glad you got some clarity. We have been on this planet not knowing much about anything for a long time. As for the bullies... Try to see their victim side. Theyre not in control of themselves properly. Some people wil never have a braincell kick in to action to make them feel bad about it, but pity is less destructive to your heart than rage. They had pathetic lives. Maybe always will. Imagine living your whole life and never being aware emotionally. Its kinda sad but probably not their fault that they are who they are.
I used Dr Omena herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Omena on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
I coulda wrote that, damn life is hard
@@luminousfractal420 i think the bullying dynamic is very interesting, in every autism story i've read so far bullying was a topic. so i find it hard to blame the bullies as it seems to me a natural thing, bc of the social differences between allistic and autistic people. as autistic people are born the the incapability to socialise, allistic people are born for exactly that reason, so when they meet someone that doesn't fit their neurology they freak out too, but as there are more allistic people it results in bullying it's a social dynamic and not a decision of the individual "i want to bully that person" at least that's how i think about it, after figuring out im probably autist.
How do I know I'm not just an extremely logical and introverted misanthrope with an intense passion for odd hobbies?
You are, it's just the other people are shallow morons.
Dont get too hung up on it
@keecefly i genuinely want to warn those who are getting too interested in this. if you play the victim you will suffer dearly as you reach closer to the age of about 40. thats how it looks to me. dont use anything as a excuse to not move forthrightly in life. if you are introverted it will expand your character to learn how to be extraverted when need be. i have been diagnosed with autism, for whatever it is worth. it doesnt mean a great deal to me.
This whole comment just screams "I'm autistic" so you're kinda screwed buddy
@@gubourn I'm not hung up on it at all, but it was a serious question. The signs listed in the video are just really vague and I feel like a lot of laymen and doctors could be misdiagnosing themselves/others. (For the record I don't think there's anything wrong with being autistic/autistic people)
#6: Uneven Skill Set Intelligence: 5 Dexterity: 3 Lockpicking:11
stealth 100
YES!!
How would one pick a lock with so little dexterity? Serious question. Is that maybe not the best example or am i missing something?
Woah there buckaroo. What u need lockpicking for
@@reneekollerova1750 Getting into stores etc, when the Government lock them down
Wow, this video hit home for me big time! When you said "At age 50 or 60 finding yourself without a job, family or any friends/relationships", that is me exactly (I am 59) Talking about eye contact, I am definitely one who overcompensates by making too much eye contact. I tend to stare directly into people's eyes, because I don't know how or when you are "supposed" to look at someone's eyes, and when to look away. It doesn't come naturally to me, and I have to think about it really hard, and it causes me a lot of stress. I think it makes other people uncomfortable around me, too. Also, when you mentioned being smart, but feeling stupid. I have an above-average IQ (143), so I know I'm NOT stupid, but sometimes I feel REALLY dumb. I often misunderstand what someone is saying, and I have been absolutely mortified at times by things I have said in response to that wrong understanding. I feel like I come across as a stupid person pretty often, but I am absolutely not! It affects how I am treated by others, because sadly when someone thinks you aren't intellectually capable, they tend to think less of you, and they treat you accordingly. And when you talked about different speech patterns, I related to this as well. I have always had a "different" way of speaking, very monotone, and just different. It's very hard to go through life feeling like no one understands what you're talking about! I'm very used to seeing that confused look on people's faces when I'm trying to talk to them. It's very upsetting, because I don't understand WHY they are confused, and I feel like I am speaking very clearly! My life feels very hard right now, and I am not doing very well. I spend most of my time alone, and I wish I could find some friends who are also ASD. I've always felt like a complete alien in this world, now more than ever!
I feel you. I'm 60 and pretty much in the same boat. I was performing in a show, which was very interactive. Someone afterwards told me he should have known I was an actor, because of little things that seemed off. I asked for an example. He told me "the lack of eye contact". My response was "no, that's just a normal thing for me". Just remember, there's nothing wrong with you.
I relate to all of this. I can't even begin to count all of the instances of rejection, shame, and embarrassment I've felt that I couldn't explain. Its so exhausting that I choose to isolate myself even when I'm miserable. Good luck everyone out there, I really wish the best for all of us.
I used Dr Omena herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Omena on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
I am sorry you are having a hard time and I wish you well ❤
I have always been that person who couldn't look people in the eyes. Feel awkward when people want to hug me (I'm getting better). I sometimes don't know how to get off the phone, or end a conversation because I feel bad, or sometimes I explain things in extreme detail. My loved ones get mad at me because they think I'm nonchalant , but my mind doesn't let me focus on all my worries. I put earphones on in the supermarket so I don't have to talk to random people, and use the self checkout any chance I get. I grew up loving Chef Boyardee Beefaroni, and would eat it every day if you let me. When nobody is around I break down and cry sometimes for no reason as if the weight of the world is on me. When I was a child I was placed in a grade called Pre 1st because educators didn't know why I didn't care to be around the other kids, and felt comfortable underneath my desk. As you can probably tell I am not one short for words, and I could definitely keep going, but I digress. Fast Forward my life I now have a 4 year old Non Verbal Autistic son who only eats Chef Boyardee Beefaroni, and Cereal with milk. I know it has something to do with me because he's exactly like I was when I was a child. I still don't know what end of the spectrum he is, or even myself, but I will say that its very frustrating to be this way, and nobody knows because they think you are just like them.
My question is, where does one draw the line between “autistism”, having low self-esteem, and trying to function as a normal adult whose been poorly socialized during critical developing years?
I was thinking the same thing man, cause many of these things could be said about many adults I think
It becomes a question of how many of the criteria fit you. If it's more than one or two probably look into it. Neurological disorders seem to often be something the brain is supposed to do but broken or extreme, rather than a whole new brain function. So that can make it very similar to neurotypical dysfunctions. I think the difference is that someone not having autism can learn their way out of it, where an autistic person has different brain function and probably can't do more than manage it.
You go to a legit doctor and have them evaluate you. You can't just watch a youtube video and decide you're autistic
Some of the big indicators are differences in sensory function, or irregular stimming activity. Being "poorly socialized" has nothing to do with these, but probably see from a medical professional
man i think autism doesnt exist. its just the way people are. if im socially awkward its bcs i think people bore me. if i answer to rhetorical quesyiins its bcs why the fu k u even ask a rhetorical question. if i crack my neck its part bcs i enjoy it part bcs it became a habbit. if i cant maintain an eye contact its bcs i have a weird look bcs as i said people bore me and i just wanna quit the chitchat. i dont think its autism i think its human nature.
The KZhead algorithm has brought all together once again.
😂😂😂
Si
Are you calling me autistic 😭
It's hip to be on the spectrum
@@larvalangel yay!
It’s super awkward when you tell someone you’re ASD and they are like “oh yeah, I’ve known that for a while” or worse “yeah, it’s a little obvious.” Great, now I’m going to be thinking about this conversation at least once a week for the next 20 years.
My boyfriend came to me one day and asked if he could say something without me judging. Of course I agreed and was surprised he had something new to share since we know almost everything about each other. He told me that he thought he might be on the spectrum but didn’t want to say it in case he was wrong. All of the things mentioned in this video are things he does/struggles with. I immediately went to support him seeking professional help to see if he is autistic but I fear I may have come on to strong. I am neuro-divergent and being told what disabilities I have help me figure out a way to work in the neuro-typical world. He didn’t want to tell me because I’m neuro-divergent and he thought it would be insulting if he was wrong. All I want is to help him and make him happy. Through our relationship as first friend then more, I’ve slowly learned to accommodate for him in our relationship and he has learned it for me as well. I don’t know much other than surface level kind of stuff on autism so I looked it up here on KZhead. I’m not sure if it will be noticeable to other by the way I write but I am extremely dyslexic (and a bunch of other language based disabilities) and so finding informative videos like this is super helpful. I want to learn what I can to help my boyfriend but I also have to make sure I don’t overwhelm him. I won’t bring up the subject unless he begins it but I truly believe he should seek a professional’s opinion and I will be there to hold his hand if needed. Oh gosh I’ve probably been ranting to much.
Omg these responses are so interesting and I think my ex might be autistic and I think his friend's have some sort of autism to accept maybe for one guy. It's just weird because I've never felt close to any of my boyfriends friend's I thought most of them were delusional and crazy or overally emotional. I never understood autism and asbergers though. I just feel bad. I'm trying to learn about it also and when media and musicians like Sia treat them like stupid people that know nothing it's so confusing.
I used Dr Omena herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Omena on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
I was diagnosed a year ago and never told my girlfriend as I fear that she won't be able to look at me the same again and she will leave me
This describes me. I became aware of my Asperger syndrome when reading an article about computer hackers about seven years ago, at age 70! Since I spent much of my adult life working overseas, my social incompetence was often ascribed to cultural difference, and I could focus on my interests as a visiting expert. Being retired, though poor, and mostly isolated, these have been my happiest years, pursuing my interests without offending everyone. I thank God for my sweet wife who stayed with me through everything.
what article was it?
Galen that’s very interesting reminds me of Daniel Tammet who wrote the book “Born on a blue day” because he had a similar experience. He said he was always very awkward growing up until he went to a foreign country to teach and his students just assumed his odd behavior was just a cultural difference and he said that was the first time in his life he felt truly welcome and appreciated. Makes me think I should do the same because so far things are not working out
these "studies" try to make you feel depressed and ill while in reality what is called autism is simply a fase of deep reflection and a sign of mental improvement and maturity. so it's ok to be autistic
@@alessandrocoppola4642 social impairment and the inability to understand what other humans experience beyond logical conclusions to the point it destroys your life is part of growing up?
It seems that living in foreign country makes an excuse for me to accept the truth- no friends, partner even I drove my family away from me. Have to do something!
I'm not autistic but have an autistic friend. He requires more time, more patience, more understanding. But he pays with great loyalty. I know he would help me. I remember once I was very upset, almost in tears, shouting. He just didn't notice that. I told him I'm upset and he immediately started asking me how could he help.
Top much bad trip
' he pays with great loyalty?..' excuse me?? So you think your friend is a dog or something. So he has to pay for you to be his friend. Nice....
@@TheMavigoz Sorry for my English, I translated it too directly. I meant "odpłacać się" - to do some favor because someone did a favor for you. Not necessarily material. My bad.
@@TheMavigoz Can't you see I'm f-ing crying???? Have some sympathy you creep...lol
@@TheMavigoz oh, come on
I'm seeing a specialist this year. So much resonates with me, getting held back in kindergarten. And then being put in special ed at third grade all through school. Being awkward, talking way too much about anything.and making others feel weird because I blurt out random stories. So much, I'm glad I found your video
The 8th sign is having this recommended.
Lmaoo
🤣
HAHAHAHA FOR REAL
Oh bugger lol
Lmbo dang!
the fact that youtube recommended this to me, just shows me that youtube probably knows me even more than I know myself. which is sad, but hilarious at the same time. Mostly devastatingly sad.
Actually maths knows you, that's fine.
Doesn't have to be sad, being on the spectrum just means you have a mind that is unique to you. High functioning autism is the video game equivalent of being a boss.
Same for me. I knew this day was coming...
The algorithm is probably helping you to understand yourself better than you wouldve on your own. Isnt that actually a good thing?
Don't worry, I doubt youtubes AI/algorithms are that advanced yet. I "think" what happens is that, as soon as a video/channel reaches enough views/likes/subs, it basically gets added to "everyones" recommended list (billion+ viewers, or whatever it is). Explains why myself, my family and friends, people I meet, and, random people in comment sections, keep seeing the same recommended videos. There may be more to it, not sure. Otherwise, I think this is a very relatable video. I'm sure A LOT of people can identify with many of the symptoms/traits. I know I can, and probably at least one or two other people I know. The creator is also very engaging and likeable, and I imagine probably a huge help to people with autism, which is why his viewership is growing.
This is one of the most important videos I've ever watched on KZhead. Helps me to understand myself, current relationships, and previous relationships. Thank you for breaking it down. And that you for the ending disclaimer.
When I was in 7th grade or something, I was sitting in math class and my teacher was apparently down about something. One of the women in my class asked if she was okay, and she explained that she had broken up with her boyfriend. In an attempt to encourage her to help her feel better, I thought I would clap and cheer for her making the decision. My reasoning behind this was: breaking up with someone can only be a good thing, since if the relationship wasn’t going to work it needs to end, and if the relationship survived, the breakup would only boost/help strength the relationship to grow. Everyone else in the classroom, however, did not react how I thought they would, and the teacher was quite shocked, even after I gave a limited explanation for myself. If I am autistic, I think this would be one of the signs.
Aww this is so cute..I feel you
Reading this made me so anxious but your intention were so pure
@@kalyani1379 neenga tamila?
I'm really struggling to see the difference between being autistic and being introverted. I always felt different, weird, socially awkward... and I see myself as introverted. But some of the autism traits are very relatable... in some aspects, more than introverted traits.
Do you do a lot of work to over-come some of the social difficulties? Personally, I've been told I present really well, and when I tell people I have social anxiety--or that I'm on the spectrum--they'll say "You can't be! You're too social!" But they are often just projecting themselves onto me, probably because I'm mirroring them... they don't see all the "calculating" I'm always doing in social situations: Are my arms crossed? What is my body language saying?What is my facial expression reflecting? Eye-contact: I either count out beats, or stay locked until they blink. Are they laughing or crying? (--wait to find out before continuing) What jokes can I make out of what is presented? When can I speak? Is what I want to say, applicable or appropriate? (I don't want to talk about home ownership, I want to talk about supermassive blackholes...) Am I dominating the conversation, steering back to what I want to talk about? Why aren't these people depressed? I try not to visibly react to things I find upsetting, work on my "poker face." I make sure I ask questions... and so many other "calculations" that don't spring immediately to mind. I try not to impress, I often want to do something impressive, but people don't want to be impressed all the time, they want to be understood... Unfortunately, I usually can't understand them--their feelings and stories are not connected the way I understand--but I can make it look like I do. I'm a good actor, after decades of painful trial and error; deliberate practicing and calculating social interactions. It's always been very important to me to be liked (who doesn't wan to be liked), but this motive drove my efforts to overcome the traits that had not worked socially. I turned to alcohol to cheat. Drunkenness made me actually interested in people, and actually care about their lives... it made me feel naturally social. I was chatting up people on the bus, with what felt like genuine interest. But like many, that lead me to alcoholism. The alcoholism lead me to homelessness, which lead me to have to survive on my own, which forced me to adapt and learn: to know the human animal, so as to stay out of its way.... Even now, I take medications and use cannabis to alleviate my anxiety and quiet my mind a bit; it has helped me empathize more accurately. My traits, struggles and abilities have changed, waxed and waned, over the years. A lot of people on the spectrum "mask" their deficits so well, that they, themselves, are not aware that they are compensating so heavily. I thought all the many stressful thoughts that flood my brain with every encounter, were what everyone felt... but I found out that it is not, and that very few people see (or feel, or hear) the world the way I do. I worry a lot about the inability to be understood, despite speaking english--I worry that I am the lion in Wittgenstein's axiom: "If a lion could speak, we could not understand him." The inner experience of the lion--the lion's frame of reference--would be so foreign to us humans that though the lion uses english words, no human would understand what the lion was going on about... I don't know if that helped any... There is such a broadness to the spectrum that one may relate strongly to some traits that others experience, and not so strongly to others. If you're really curious, try taking the Autism Quotient quiz, and/or talking with a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist. AQ: psychology-tools.com/test/autism-spectrum-quotient
@@sagittarius_a3307 I relate to a lot of this. I've thought before that I might be on the spectrum, but everyone doubts you initially, even professionals it seems like. It is strange feeling like such an alien that you can't even properly express your thoughts and feelings in a way that can be easily understood by other people. It makes you feel esoteric. I know that I am a person and have the same needs and feelings as others, but with how hard communication can be, my penchant to run on tangents or rant, and the social anxiety of constant calculation to make sure I'm in the moment and present makes it difficult to really connect with others. It leaves little room for real conversation with anyone I don't already know very well.
Most autistic people (not everyone) are seemed to be introverts, which it doesn't matter if you are introvert you can still be on the spectrum, If you really want to know and need help you should consider go to get diagnosed.
@@connerkinsman5217 In high school I wrote a first-person narrated novella about an alien consciousness, that is sent to earth as a scout/researcher from a distant civilization, that gets stuck/trapped in its human body, stranded on earth, and reluctantly but eventually “becomes” human, only to rescued at the end. I later discovered this isn’t a tremendously original idea. Years later Pandora came out…which seemed a variation on that motif. The one teacher that bothered to read it, said that I created an “interestingly analytical perspective” for the alien character-which stifled the narrative with too many details… I relate to that alien feeling-for me it is most apparent when tying to understand the motives and reactions of others, and when my jokes land WAY off their mark (still technically funny, but wildly inappropriate). I recall sitting in second grade and truly thinking, “I must have lost connection with the mothership… there’s no way I belong here…” I was 7 years old. Further regarding introversion: I searched long and hard for a defined group that I belonged to, as I felt a man without a tribe… I have since mostly given up… for a moment, I got invested in personality types, particularly the Myers-Briggs’ “16 Personality Types” I thought if I could pinpoint my personality type, then I could find others. I always registered as INTJ: Introvert Intuitive Thinking and Judging (the category names didn’t align literally, which can be confusing). 16personalities.com -at the very least, doing those quizzes helped me better understand the nature of introversion and how it contrasts with extroversion. That was a ramble…
@@sagittarius_a3307 Ok, I think I'm starting to see the difference. There's a lot more struggle for autistic people in social situations... and I believe that's me. I really do calculate a lot before, during and after a social situation. And it's extremely exhausting... Nothing ever feels natural to me. I really should start considering that I might be on the spectrum...
2:00 Socially awkward 3:19 Strange way of interacting 5:03 Overly logical 6:31 Stimming 8:09 Loves rules and routines 9:03 Uneven skill set - intense interests 10:16 Sensory sensitivities
Thanks!
Thanks
‘Overly Logical’ I sometimes call myself a Vulcan and an Android, that’s how I managed to deal with a lot of socially awkward situations, I imagine myself as Spock or Data, and suddenly I feel in character and feel somewhat able to manage conversations
thanks
Best comment ever!
Thank you so much, Paul. At the age of 35, I can now understand much better so many events, behaviors and experiences I lived in my past, especially during my childhood and adolescence, and I can find a better way to live every day in according to who and how I am. Discovering your channel has been an immense source of awareness and relief. Nico from Italy.
I became a relationship counsellor! Not to help but to figure it out from the inside myself, to figure out how to be in a relationship! So amazing to hear you say similar thing. Got a diagnosis aged 49 few weeks ago
I practiced eye contact til I thought I had some competence. It was years before I realized I was instead staring people down.
I’m told that I stare at people, but it doesn’t seem that way to me. I just don’t get the eye contact thing.
Damn if you do, damned if you don't. A better approach is look at people if your feel like it and don't look if you don't feel like it. And if you feel good staring at the floor or the landscape or surrounding which I actually enjoy ( I don't find people's faces attractive) do it .No need to deceive people into thinking you are not ''autistic'' . Let them label you as a strange person and accept it.
@@BrianAHarkins If you're the one who's talking, the right duration is usually 2-3 seconds then look away. If you're not the one who's talking, when they look away then you look away. Anything longer becomes staring. (This is just a general guide to avoid staring. There are lots of unwritten rules, sadly) Not everyone makes the same amount of eye contact. For introverts it's usually less compared to extroverts. So too little is preferable to too much, you might just seem like an introvert or a little bit shy, but not rude.
I like Daniels comment ..
Because we have to learn so much I think some of us would make great Behavioral Psychologists / Sociologists. I mean, who else pays this much attention to these things?
I hope this guy realises how much he’s helping thousands of people.
He's not helping anyone. Psychiatry is a scam. If it wasn't they would include Neurotypical Spectrum Disorder
Yet to this day I still encounter so many people who have no fucking clue what autism/aspergers is, but they still decide it's a good idea to make stupid jokes about it that are not only completely unfunny but also extremely ignorant. Usually I ignore them and forget about it but here lately my patience has finally begun to erode away.
@@UltraK420 Do you have a clue what aspergers is though, mate? I mean, do you know what the WORD Asperger means? Who was the Man named Asperger?
The bloke that authored the video is the one that helped, the one that repeated on video then posted the lines just gets all the credit.
@@loturzelrestaurant Dr. Asperger lived in Vienna, Austria in the 1920s, 30s and 40s. Some people now want to change the name because they associate him with the Nazi's. As an Aspie I don't want to be called autistic or even "On the spectrum".
Just wanted to say thanks Paul. I've watched about a dozen of your videos so far, and have gone from feeling like an alien to a stereotype in a week. It's fabulous to know that I am far from alone. So thanks a million mate!
I think I had to pause this video and reflect about 20 times while watching, it is uncanny how well what you are saying lines up with my life, especially issues with not being able to move on from a task, not saying hello/goodbye, and most of all when you talked about that shoulder roll you do. I went to a concert last night and during every song I didn't know the words to I was doing that shoulder roll constantly. Thank you for your candid presentation on this, it raises many more questions to go along with the one that lead me here.
When I was about seven, I was sent to a boy's institution. 3 boys in the dorm started a fire and shortly after that the headmaster came in and made everyone line up. Then he walked up and down looking at us, eventually picked me out for punishment. Later, I learned that it was because I failed to make proper eye contact. I remember thinking "how stupid to determine someone's guilt by the amount of eye contact" and made it a point to stare people directly in the eye. Didn't know to blink and had a parole officer claim I terrified him (at age ten). At some point, I realized that I was autistic, but hid it for decades. Back then, you never wanted to reveal a weakness to authority since they would just use it to victimize you further.
Yes, unfortunately for many people it comes across as smug, guilty or arogant when in reality it's just a different way of responding to people.
Sad. My life is alsk basically destroyed by this terrible disorder and fcked.up ppl. I dont wish asperger to my worst enemy
sorry that happened to you.
Did you use matches, or a cigarette lighter?
I was accused of stealing my teachers mobile phone when I was 4 years old for a similar reason… I had never even known what a phone was at the time (year 2000, we weren’t majorly in-money, etc) every child in the class was interviewed… and they thought I was guilty based on the fact that I said it “might be in the cupboard where the spiders are”, I said this whilst staring at the floor at my shoes, I was literally so confused by what was going on I just wanted to leave the situation completely… understandable really? What I meant by this.. was simply a stationary cupboard in the back of our classroom, and they seriously took what I said and believed the happy-go-lucky 4 year old self I was had stolen my teachers mobile phone… and put it in a cupboard at home, never did I get an apology or confirmation that they got this wrong and it still messes with me mentally to this day… just typing this comment alone upsets me, but at 25 I’m just trying to let it all go now. Side note: To bring a bit of context as to why this has deeply affected me so much… I had my headteacher push the back of my head into the corner of said-cupboard whilst screaming at me “FIND THE PHONE AND STOP WASTING OUR TIME”, whilst looking for something I didnt know and didn’t take… unreal.
I'm your poster boy. I'm almost 55, single. Have had problems with intimate relationships so I gave up 15 years ago. I have close friends who understand me, but there's the overwhelming feeling of loss due to inability to connect when I was younger. Despite friends saying that I'm "a catch" as I've taken care of myself and look younger than I am; I can't endure the pain of the awkwardness any longer. Being alone is the lesser of the options. Luckily I'm not depressed or suicidal, it's just reality. I've been single for so long that it's my normal. But over the years I've had activities where I've had to be outgoing so I learned coping mechanisms to hide the reality. I appear "normal" when I'm REALLY not. Same goes for the work thing. I have a lot of varied skills and it was always a blessing. But when I hit 50, the job offers stopped. Thank goodness I have savings and have a few properties I partially own with my sister for income. If I could have only been diagnosed 40 years ago.
Never give up, sir. However, please be very careful not to over share about your predicament. I’ve made that mistake too and feel your pain. Please be safe.
Btw, yes, I can relate to quite a bit of what you said.
nice to see theres is a happy ending or light at thr end of the tunnel.
lohphat All of what you wrote about difficulty with human relationships and access to work due to aging, are tragedies and I don't want to minimize them, but our only source of help should be God and our only care in this finite and brief life should be to strengthen our relationship with him. If he made us ''autistic'' let us accept this condition with gratitude and its suffering as well because they have the potential to sanctify us and bring us closer to God.
lohphat I can relate to almost everything you have shared. I was diagnosed last year at age 60 (a course I had to follow by my own education and conviction with no medical guidance) having spent my entire life trying to understand, correct or heal what ever it was that was different about my abilities. Like you I was fortunate to retire early, in my case with support from my parents. I present and appear as ‘normal’ and intelligent but cannot function as such. Growing older and experiencing lower expectations from others has been very helpful. All the best to you :-)
Thank you for getting straight to the point, describing the core details well. I really appreciate this as many videos about topics focus a lot on commercial presentation, ego, trying to be funny and I find the idea of clicking on one painful.
Really appreciate you sharing your resources, research and personal experience. It’s very helpful for me and I’m sure many other people. Thank you
i can't hold conversations with anyone my own age. just older or younger people. it's so strange.
Same.
Our peers are kind of boring
@@lucysyd2159 that's something Syd Barrett would have said.
@@bradylumsden3057 also when i am in a conversation with someone, i become very aware i'm in a conversation and end up not even listening to the person and just nodding and saying yeah a bunch. very awkward haha.
@@mynameismark25 I know exactly what you mean lol. Disinterests me from the conversation immediately so I can only reply with repetitive yeahs 🤣. Its bad though, its because we're getting into our own heads by overthinking the minute situation. Gotta stay in the present and keep it moving, only need to deep think deep concepts, not everything lol.
“It says dress code formal, does that mean I need to wear a tie?” To be fair, I’m just in denial about having to dress up
Oh really I could never guess a stripper struggled to keep clothes on.
It’s a Black Sabbath song @RB Haydenffc
With me, my autistic area of expertise is suits and classic menswear, I’m the opposite! Autism manifests its self in many ways...
That made me laugh and it was maybe just a terrible example because that is one of the most commonly asked questions following an announcement of that rule
Jack strips floors and re finishes them he wouldn’t know.
Thank you, Paul! I'm am an autistic individual, like you. I love guiding other people through Autism, and I learn how to cope with Autism. Most people don't imagine me being autistic but I mostly tell them if I trust they will accept me for it. Lots of people underestimate me because of my interests, but it doesn't affect me and I'm still happy in life!
@@ZahhidMicheal 🧐⁉️
there can only be one autistic jaxon hill. Now we must battle.
Thank you. The information was great and I felt like you were giving so much of it and still being cognizant of my attention span. You mentioned that were almost there or something to that effect and I knew this man gets it. Liked and subscribed 🙂
I recently lost my brother who went through a major anxiety melt down which got the better of him. He was 65 but was only diagnosed at the age of 60 when he had his first anxiety attack. This video was very helpful to help me reflect on his past behavior and better understand what he was going through. When we were kids in the 1960s someone like my brother was just viewed as extremely shy especially when it came to socializing , so on reflection he did really well. Just sharing.
That is the same as my brother.He was diagnosed at 60 years of age and died at 65 in his sleep,and no one knows why
@@lauragardner129 sorry to hear about your brother. I often think back on whether I could have helped my brother at an earlier age had we only known ! Best.
@@kevanalbrighton5887 thank you.I think we all wonder if we could have done something different,but we probably could not have done anything differently that would have significantly affected the outcome.sorry for your loss as well
That breaks my heart he went so long not knowing that must have been very hard on him I am so sorry for your loss😔
I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
I remember having a very distinct realization when I was a child that "not everyone thinks like me". I often felt confused and flustered at things other kids would say to myself or others, things that would sound rude, mean, or out of place. Or when they would not care for something I found deeply interesting. It helped me when I realized everyone is different, or at least not like me, because it was an explanation. But at the same time I started to have social anxiety cause I felt I could never know what someone was actually thinking or feeling, and I was never good at reading social cues (even to this day). But I mean that to say that whenever I have an interaction with someone that is Autistic, I find the conversation refreshing and enjoyable. All of the stimming, shifty eye contact, rambling, etc. never bothers me. Coworkers I've had on the spectrum naturally became friends of mine. I appreciate the conversations because they are usually honest and direct, not so much BS like conversations I may have with others. Sure occasionally I'll have a long conversation about boats or computers or some video game, but it's better than small talk, whining, gossip, boasting, demeaning, or just general negativity.
I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
I was told many times as a child that not everyone thinks like me, but I took it as a reminder of a self-evident fact of life, a "different strokes" sort of truism. I wonder if they actually meant that most people have mostly congruent thinking that I diverged from.
Neurotypicals aren't sentient. Ignore them.
@@majd8 I've been on the Google platform a LONG time. They allowed all their users to get verified when they first rolled it out. Not that I care or need it!
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since child and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Omena herbs have helped him get rid of it completely
I've recently begun to suspect I'm on the spectrum. It was kind of a world shattering realization because I've always been a 'normal' kid and not like the stereotypes that I had been shown as what was 'on the spectrum.' I've had a lot of social problems and odd emotional reactions to things I enjoy, and I've always suppressed the thoughts that they were a sign of anything unusual and just assumed I was 'unique.' That left me on a path for a while, having problems with various things and a severely low self-esteem because I could never make friends. Watching videos like these has actually become really helpful. A lot of my issues are things that are actually rooted in being on the spectrum, and I feel like I can accept myself for who I am, much easier than I could before. I found every point of this video relatable and reading the comments, find a lot of them relatable too.
I like to thank you for your video. I am showing all of the symptoms of Autism according to the DSM manual. I realize now that I, too, are autistic. This condition has severely disabled me in life. I believe, now, that I can turn my life around! Thanks for opening my eves.
For me, realizing I was on the spectrum, and finally getting the diagnose, was a pure blessing. It gave answers to my many questions. If someone probably has autism, I think it would be better for them to actually get the diagnose, but maybe others are more ashamed by it. For me, it was a very welcome release of years of stress and angst about not fitting in.
I definitely have a mix of shame and relief thank you for sharing your experience 😊
Where did you go for help?
@@JaySpoonn: It was a very long process for me and I had to fight a lot and demand second opinions. But the first step is usually the family doctor, then a simple test to see if it's relevant to do further checks at a psychiatrist. You can start by doing an online test to see how much of the diagnose criteria that fits with your life. Hope you understand what I mean, I'm usually good at English but when it gets technical like this it's more difficult to find the right words.
I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
@@gracechristopher3133: That is just spam and bullshit and you know it, so stop spreading lies! Autism can't be "cured".
You basically just described my entire life in this video. I always eat the same foods every day and wear the same close.I constantly shake my leg and I don't talk to people.My eyes and ears are very sensitive. I have been playing the same video game for 4 years and I love to use medical and physics jargon, it drives my family crazy. My social awkwardness is off the charts. Thank you Paul, this is A great video!
Thanks Michael! Glad you can relate!
I been playing Ms. Pac Man for about 35yrs. I'm pretty good at this point.
Same here. Peace!
@@mikehawk4054 Same with me, but my game is Super Mario Bros 3 lol (and 30 years)
You sound damn cool to me... :)
While I totally agree with this video and especially the end where he says you shouldn’t try to force an autistic identity onto someone, even if they have those traits, I really wish someone had told me I was autistic earlier 😭 I got diagnosed last year at 17 and my parents and friends revealed that they always thought I was, so it was only a surprise to me. If one of them had just flat out told me that’s what they thought, I would have looked into it sooner and cleared up a lot of confusion for myself. You definitely shouldn’t try to diagnose people if you’re not qualified, but depending on the person and your relationship I think you can politely suggest it to them
@@gracehavin5557 Don't listen to this, everyone, it's an advertising bot....not a real person
I think t's much different coming from a loved family member who wants to respectfully guide a person to the path of realization than it is coming from someone who is just trying to label you for their own gratification
Very helpful video - explained DSM-5 criteria and helpful advice at the end - thank you x
"Do not tell someone they are autistic" As another person who discovered he was autistic at 30, I disagree. After my diagnosis, I was shocked when friends said they knew but didn't tell me. I also feel that a common autistic attitude is "information is good" so based on my own experience I would tell a friend. I wish mine had told me years before, learning was like regaining a part of myself I felt but didn't understand was missing.
There's probably "telling a friend" and "telling a friend" if you know what I mean.
I think it’s okay to suggest to a friend that they might be on the spectrum if they have plenty of noticeable symptoms, and you explain to them how a diagnosis can be helpful. But in my opinion if your friend is happy with life and they’re not depressed, and they’re generally stable and functional, you should just let them be. You should only tell them if you can see it’s affecting their life negatively and them getting diagnosed and treating it can help them.
Agreed
I dont know if i have it bad but i think a bit. And when i think about it to me it hurts a bit. But i guess its better to know but id rather be told by soneone who has it like this guy so it feels more better and relatable rather that pointed out and obscure.
A year ago, at age 60, I came to the realisation I was probably on the spectrum. My best friend told me he had been telling me for years that my brother and I were both on the spectrum. I only ever heard the bit about my brother.
I wish someone had diagnosed me as a kid instead of just labelling me both as a problem and a "smart kid". I am glad I am who I am and I am happy that people are much more aware that there is a level of this in us all. Functioning Autistics just need to understand themselves and have people around us that do too and we can excel in life..... It is a lot easier as an adult but so very troublesome as a kid. Thanks for this video. Digi
A lot of these so-called mental disorders are BS. Psychologists are nothing but mercenaries for Big pharma because all they are trained to do is prescribe some medicine based on symptoms that could be caused by many things. For example, a high sugar diet can cause a lot of the symptoms related to "depression" and anxiety, and I remember being "diagnosed" with that garbage as a child just because I told one that I like to stay alone instead of talk to the guys in my group home and was told "it was'nt normal" for someone my age. Never mind if I was staying away from the MF's for my own good because they were the most violent trouble-making kids on earth because it was never even asked. She didn't ask s**t about my diet either!
@@2pacisakilthemc21 I agree I don't eat sugar anymore and I grew up in a public house so had access to a lot of the stuff.
I used to think the same thing, but based on all the other things that I've been stigmatized and diagnosed with and labeled as, I'm kind of glad none of them or they never went in this direction because I would not have wanted to been taking pills as a kid from parents who don't have their own individuality or are embarrassed or their Community is part of the brainwashing that binds Our Lives. Whatever the case I feel empowered because I have a prospective and I have knowledge and I can function in a different area that people either condemn or don't know exist. I've had a lot of problems even to this day and the right thing to do is move until we find a better place and I consider myself pretty successful for all the quirks that people have come at me with and if there's anything that my life can show somebody else I need Unity as well. All the best is ours to have
@@artsomniacv-logcitybydanie1249 Yes I do agree too. The grass always seems greener on the other side though what you say is right though. Stigma is a huge issue , even now
@@Digithaiz I'm leaving Florida for good because I have long hair and I drive an old Winnebago and I keep getting profiled and then once they start to talk to me they Judge Me with condemnation through fear and ignorance. I like to work nonstop till I finish things so I get judged for being worn out and fatigued but successful but condemned anyway. Its a daily battle
I'm glad I found this channel. It helps me feel ok with whats going on with my inner life. Thanks for sharing these videos.
Hi there everyone I'm Autistic. I really like your videos, they are incredible. Normally I try not to show my Autistic side but throughout watching your videos, I have a big weight lifted off my shoulders!!
I'm a 38 year old male. Never diagnosed with anything. I thought autism was something else as my experience with autism has always been seeing children who have obvious issues. My in-laws have asked if my self and my wife think our youngest has autism. I thought it was crazy to think he is autistic. I started researching and wow, now I wonder if I'm autistic because all the internal issues I've felt with my entire life seem to be explained by this. I've always thought of my issues as personal failures but perhaps they aren't. Maybe my youngest is autistic, maybe I am. But I'm very nervous about talking to anyone about it.
I'm 39 and I was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid....now my son is displaying developmental delay and typical autism behavior. Kinda mad at my wife because she got him vaxxed against my wishes...part of me blames her but now I'm wondering if he got it from me...
You never know, I'm guessing it has to be genetic in some way.
My son has suffered autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect. I'm so glad and happy now
@@th84lok25It is genetic. I now suspect other family members may have it.
I used Dr Omena herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on speech delay and ASD. I met Dr Omena on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
Ok KZhead i have watched this video now leave me the hell alone.
It doesn't work like that lol
me.
i think the point was they never have clicked or watched anything remotely similar to the topic autism... and yt is doing a public service announcement with this video... kinda like how they censored that one dudes channel where he interviews people with rare diseases/medical conditions.. KZhead doesn't really care, they are a joke. it is what it is. looking forward to a free speech video platform again like bitchute which is alright but its rough around the edges
did you like the video? How strongly do you agree with our recommendation? :P
I kept getting recommended this video too. This guy must have made a deal with KZhead or something.
Not speaking to someone for ages and then just picking up from where you left off shows what a deep friendship you have. It's actually a good thing if you can find people who are on that wavelength.
That's how my aspie best friend and i am. We like our space but never miss a beat. I'm also on spectrum but im a girl so havent been diagnosed yet. I am adhd with tics n panic attacks. I don't do well with change of anything. So i let myself get therapy at 29
Some friends are chill like that.
@@cryora "Chill" derives from Gen X slang "Chill out" or "Take a chill pill" I like how zoomers have adopted to mean pretty much similar context. I can dig it dude.
@@edstar83 Chill is what was used by people in my college triathlon club back in 2014-2016, so I don't think that counts as the zoomer generation.
I'm a female, and I tick every one of these boxes. Wow! This channel is fascinating. Thank you.
I took a couple of tests, and am pretty sure I am on the spectrum (i also have ADHD). I am 68 years old, and have already done a lot of living without knowing why I was weirdly different.
That KZhead recommendation algorithm is getting stronger and stronger…
Get out of here :). i got an interview with a bipolar and one with a schizophrenic guy recommended. Next time youtube is sending an ambulance.
Normally expressed traits like empathy and eye contact are things I’ve had to study and learn, and commit to memory in order to “mask” or “pass” as neurotypical
@Luis I've heard, children not socialized properly, may miss the window when it is possible. Only at a young age, will proper socialization be learned. But, if one is very different cognitively, he may never be part of the group. This includes the exceptionally intelligent. Like learning to socialize with chimps. Why try? Nothing to be gained. And may get your face ripped off.
I have ‘high functioning’ Aspergers, I’ve had to do exactly the same.
@@joeshmoe7899 Are you talking about children who have autism or children in general?
@Carl Trotter There is no such thing as high functioning aspergers, you just have weaknesses like everybody else. I am prone to social anxiety too but grow up 😁
@@Talisman09 everybody has weaknesses, what do you mean by 'but grow up'? If I have offended you, I do apologise, but would like some clarification. If not, have a nice day, -Carl
Thank you 🙏🏼 I consulted do many health ‘professionals’ over the past decades. One of them even said “there’s something really wrong with you” while displaying an eye tick, but didn’t provide the right treatment or the right referral. She wanted to prescribe anti-psychotics. Glad I didn’t take them! As a woman social demands & judgments are extremely high, all the daily nitpicking was disgusting and destructive. A lot of distress & anxiety could have been prevented by a proper diagnosis at an early stage in life. With everything I’ve been through personally, I’m glad to self-diagnose. It gives me peace, less anxiety and finally some understanding of things that felt ‘wrong’ and I couldn’t understand all of these years.🙏🏼
Im 36, nothing made sense until I started researching this. Thank you for putting this out there.
9:20 "how could someone so smart be so stupid?" I've had people say this about me so many times, basically verbatim. It sucks because then I'm left thinking "well, am I actually an idiot who's just a fraud posing as smart, or am I actually smart and I'm just a failure at these simple tasks?" It gets so frustrating sometimes.
I’ve felt that way many times. It sucks and without knowing what you are, it’s so hard to explain yourself.
Oh my f***ing God, my grandmother said that years ago. I've also heard some variant of it.
@mike gallimore I hope you take time to take care of yourself occasionally. This attitude will be the downfall of you. Introspective ≠ self-obsessed.
Sounds to me like you have bad people in your life. They are treating you this way because of their own insecurities. Try to think of it as: it isn't them causing you to feel bad but yourself who is telling you to feel that way as a response to their actions. You are not a fraud or a failure and nothing they say can change that.
@mike gallimore you are*
Constant eye contact to me feels too aggressive or too intimate, so I have a lot of trouble with even looking at someone for long when conversing. I have to deliberately maintain it at times with a lot of stressful effort, in job interviews etc. I've only easily maintained it without any conscious effort in either highly aggresive or highly intimate scenarios. I also fit a lot more of these criteria too. Been suspecting I'm autistic for a good few years.
Then i guess everyone is autistic lol
I only give eye contact to people who I really trust.
I agree. I don’t want people to think I wanna fight or fxck them
Logically speaking, anyone can be diagnosed, it's just that the people which society often deem as "outcasts", are the ones who gets diagnosed, because society wants a "reason". Society then tend to forget that a diagnose is a generalized behavior pattern, whether it be a bodily behavior pattern or psychological, often followed with the expectation that something is "wrong". So clearly, if you question your own health, something must be "wrong" right? Personally, I don't believe having a diagnose is always a negative, which society tries to make all diagnoses out to be, they simply represent a behavior pattern that has been acknowledged.
I never look anyone in the eye I focus on their nose so it looks like I'm looking them in the eye, or at least I hope they think I am 😂.
As someone with autism. I'm very thankful for this video. Greetings from the Netherlands!
I’m 20, I’ve had this feeling that there’s something different about me and that I should see a doctor or something to figure it out, but after seeing this video I realized you’ve just been describing me for 14 minutes straight. In a way I’m relieved because now I know what’s going on.
There's an awful lot of crap on KZhead, but then there are also high value videos like this that ultimately shift it into the positive, overall.
Ikr
this is pure garbage wtf are you talking about
@@timm5970 Yeah, so much of this is pseudo "science". Scratching your skin, too much eye contact, not enough eye contact, tapping, etc? Give me a fuckin break. Most people are naturally shy. Tapping your foot is just a way to burn off energy, if you're bored, etc. Repetitive patterns, most people have those. Going off this, 90% of people have autism. Oh you don't like flashing loud ad billboards? Yeah, no one does.... What else, people who don't like to pay taxes have autism now too? If you like drugs, sex, and money too much, you have autism and if you don't like those things enough then you have autism. Only our preordained amount of "like" is acceptable. Whatever.
@@user-nh3gu1ge3d Everyone has nervous habits. It's all a matter of degree, I think.
To most people being in life comes naturally. To the rest, it must be studied, as if they were an alien visiting earth, but otherwise looking like any other human being
The thing that really got my interviewer and doctor to consider me on the spectrum was when I talked about having "systems" for daily living and being able to accomplish working and just generally living daily life.
I think this is why I liked "Third Rock from The Sun" more than most people. Growing up I did always feel a bit like a foreign species living among humans, trying not to be called out for being weird. I guess I still kind of feel that way to be honest, just mostly worked it out into routines that I'm used to and I live alone so it's easier to keep the routines that I live by from wrecking relationships with people that I care about who, despite their best efforts, haven't got a fucking clue why I constantly get frustrated over things I can't rationally explain.
@@adgato75 I use the word "routine" but I think "system" is actually more accurate. I've never been diagnosed but a multitude of signs point to autism. It's not that I'm ashamed of the way I am or anything but I've really never wanted the label and I hate trying to explain it because I've come to the conclusion that if you're not living with it, no amount of explaining will be enough to make you understand it. When I have tried to explain my routine to people it always seems to end with people trying to explain to me why my routine doesn't makes sense as if they can convince me to drop it and I'm like "I started my explanation by telling you I understand this doesn't make sense - I just can't help it" This is why I live alone, even the best intentioned people in my life who I deeply care about will try to teach me not to be this way.
What if autism is the best branch of the evolution of human species
you really think everyone else around you is normal, and you're the only one who's different?
I find your videos amazing and so good. I feel good watching you. You have a calming effect on me. Great work by the way!
I always find your videos really helpful; I won't go into great detail, but Thankyou for sharing your insights, and personal experiences. 😊
Me: “I meet all the criteria” also me: “I don’t think I have this” 😂
Hbomberguy's last video made the autism-community proud. Seen it?
@NEW HOPE INSURANCE LTD Herbs do literally nothing against Autism, honey. Thats fact, not theory/opinion.
@NEW HOPE INSURANCE LTD i bet you don't believe in vaxinations too
ditto
Seems just natural person
I am nearly 60 and I have realised that some of these traits I have, I have told my wife this and she didn't seem too surprised as if she had accepted this long ago, it certainly explains my life choices
Same thing happened to me at 45. Except it was my GF that brought it up. After hearing some childhood stories , she connected the dots to some things she had noticed in our relationship.
@@adgato75 Hbomberguy's last video made the autism-community proud. Seen it?
Excellent presentation - you come across as very normal but then again what is normal . This is a great help for me in my interpersonal relationship with others
I was a very good reader at a young age. My 'english' teacher used to call me up to the front of the class to read to everyone all the time. I clearly recall even at the age of 9-10 having a nervous laugh that would just bubble out at random awkward points, even to the point of one my classmates asking someone, 'what is he laughing at?" I know now it was my extreme social anxiety even at that age manifesting itself in those odd behaviors. I haven't been formally diagnosed yet, but as soon as I get my new insurance I very much plan on it. Having a professional acknowledge and verify this feeling like I wasn't ever given the playbook for life is going to be very welcome.
Where's my "Looked into mirrors every night to learn what my facial expressions looked like by feel so I would know how I was reacting to people" crew?!
My dogggggg!
I did this a lot in school but I made funny faces so people would like me more. Also if I said weird stuff they just assumed it was a joke. I didn’t even know I was on the spectrum. I just assumed everyone else was also doing what I did when they were alone.
This sounds a lot like me. One difference is - while I'm akward in social situations, I'm also highly empathic. My jokes rarely land, and is hard to join a conversation, but I'm really good at listening and providing support for those in need.
So you’re Fozzie Bear. That’s good company.
what used to be the rarest personality type, INJF is now autism
that’s how it feels for me too. i seem to fit the bill until it gets to the part about not recognizing social cues. i recognize those too well i’d say
@@SlabOfSteak There is an intersection of some traits. For example , high functioners can learn to recognize social cues to an extent. Or even well. It is a skill that can learned if one wishes. BUT that is the point. To normies it isn't a skill , it is innate.
Great video. Sensitively put, informative and eloquent. Thank you.
This is so helpful. Thank you for sharing your experience. Really appreciate you.
The part where you said "Laugh at inappropriate times" really hit home hard for me, I remember I did jury duty and started laughing at a comment that one of the lawyers said, the whole courtroom looked at me, was mega awkward.
@@supernovahm1178 I was about 19 at the time I believe.
u might just have a better sense of humor than them
I started laughing at a candidate during a panel interview. I noticed he looked funny on the screen after noticing my boss was smirking.... so I created the idea it was because of the funny attributes I noticed. It was just funny and I couldn't stop wanting to laugh but I concealed it pretty well I think...
fuck em’ man.. people gotta learn to lighten up. You did nothing wrong :)
What did the lawyer say that was so funny?
As an adult male with ASD, I sincerely wish more people understood this. I would share it with friends and family, but I’ve grown wary of sharing things like this until they are requested.
@Ignace Alli I'm very happy for your son's wellbeing, but it is irresponsible and cruel to offer false hope and pseudoscience to people who might be especially vulnerable. A brief message to anyone tempted by the hucksters trying to sell you a cure: there is no cure for autism and herbs simply cannot rewire a brain. But certain strategies can help people with ASD live fulfilling lives.
I used this doc herbs for my son and now my son is completely free, his speaking and behavior is ok. His herbs is 100% working on ASD. I met Dr Oyalo on channel and I’m happy to share my experience about it
@@gracechristopher3133 you should really do a better job at pretending not be a bot/duplicate account. Your syntax is goofy and it shows that you’re the same person posting over and over again. What you’re selling here is false hope with the possibility of grave injury. Shame on you.
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since child and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Omena herbs have helped him get rid of it completely
Everyone with autism is different. Thank you for sharing your differences. We are try to share our differences as well. Keep up the great work!
Marvellous Thank you for your insight and explanation I was diagnosed late in life (50’s) and taken decades to understand ‘me’ since. Ongoing process of discovery, like the rest of my world
I am definitely awkward. But I think it’s just because I’m a loser.
I wanted to thumbs up because your comment was funny. But I realized getting a bunch of thumbs up to the comment could send the wrong message, like people are agreeing with what you said.
@@sharkysharkerson nihilism is not funny
Nick Torkos I thumbed up because it made me giggle. I don't know the person at all,but their comment sounded like a joke,rather than a cry for help. Obviously I don't know for sure. If it was a cry for help,I would like to say that no one is a loser,maybe a quitter,but you are here and alive. So you won the greatest race of all. Life isn't a competition,it is an experience. So no losers and winners,just different. Embrace your difference,you are unique.
@@madeinuk68 Your comment is worth thumbing up too.
Your not a loser, don't sell yourself short.
The thumbnail: “Is this enough eye contact?” Lol 😂
Ikr 🤣 the reason I clicked. That moment your eye contact freezes and becomes an awkward staring contest. 😬
I cannot stand eye contact. I find it the most intrusive and rude behavior.
@@TitoTimTravels American culture teaches its “the right thing to do”, maintain eye contact? Lol 😂. The Korean culture (I believe) doesn’t do this? I agree. “constant eye contact” is only suppose to be made with your intimate partner, no more, no less, IMHO. If I’m talking to all else (beside an intimate partner).......I’ll look at you at you only for a sec or two, that’s it. .......but in USA they say: “This is rude”. Lol 😂. It’s funny how American culture likes to program you to bend to their ideas of “idealism culture”. If you don’t maintain excessive eye contact, you’re now “Autistic”? Lol
@@truthreignsforever9286 so I just need out merica got it lol. I agree I feel like I'm perceived as penetrating or too serious if I try to make what a consider a normal amount of eye contact. I save it for my kids and partner lol I dont want to put undo pressure on people to act like they have their shit together because I could care less what eye contact means to the authenticity of a conversation. I offend people with this every so often so I speak up and just ask if I appear uninterested and go from there. I look forward to friendly conversations but I was raised where eye contact was a make or break of if my explanation of even small things would be perceived as true or not lol it has some effect on my personal thinking processes but I try to make myself evident as an open listener with honest feelings of all things lol I always support people's ideas and aim to not belittle ones values and ideas. I just believe eye contact is a poor affirmation to look for in connecting with any person. Everyone has their reasons and I won't presume negative thoughts on anyone unless someone is blatant in some form of disrespect. Cultural ideologies should be thing of the past. We as a whole are still so primitive in our acceptance of what is myself included
My son has been diagnosed of autism spectrum since child and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Omena herbs have helped him get rid of it completely
Thank you for these videos. Began to suspect my autism a couple of years ago. Pretty much confirmed now. So much of what I didn’t understand about myself finally makes sense. At age 57, starting a new chapter in life of feeling like a whole and complete person for the first time. Wishing a good journey for all others with ASD.
@@ZahhidMichealNigerian scammer
Paul are so awesome! Your videos are incredibly articulate and helpful. I’m a therapist and I’m learning so much from you. I just wanted to say thank you!
Remember, this may be informative, but never self-diagnose.
Been wanting to get a diagnosis lately, but not a high priority, and the local experts who could diagnose me are _swamped_. Very strong suspicion I'm on the spectrum though.
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I don't need to self diagnose I've been diagnosed with it twice
self diagnosis is valid though
@@supermidoriya9323 Evidently not, judging by the man in this video
I would say my personal least favorite aspect of my autism is the disconnect with facial expressions. Intentionally choosing and expressing facial expressions and emotions makes me feel like a freaking psycho.
I hate when someone says something sad that I didn’t expect and I laugh. I think I learned to laugh until I figure out what’s happening because it’s usually a safe reaction and people just think you’re a happy person because you laugh a lot. But it really sucks when a happy story turns sad and I miss the cue.
@@Matt-vz5wy I know that feeling only too well, Matt. In some situations I’ve just wished I could hit the ‘rewind’ button or have the floor open up and swallow me. I’m always reminding myself to try and focus more on listening and digesting what others are saying and to take a breath or momentary pause before any hasty reaction, verbal or otherwise, is deemed inappropriate or rude and leaves one feeling awkward. Not having good hearing, the invisible ‘disease’, can cause some confusion also!!
Funny thing is, autistic people have less trouble recognizing the emotions of other autistic people. It's like we're a subspecies. I notice I almost always become friends with autistic people, never with neurotypical, and it's the same for everybody on the spectrum I know. We just communicate and show our emotions differently and that should be okay.
@@tonylawrence5892 I have the same problem. I’m a diesel mechanic and have worked in various trades since I was a teenager, so my hearing isn’t great. I have a particularly hard time hearing womens voices. I have to be looking at the woman who’s speaking or I’ll miss most of what she says, especially if there are other noises like cars going by or a tv. Some soft voiced men are also hard for me to hear.
@@lisanneschop7317 I like doing things with autistic people because we’re operating on a similar wavelength and with a similar amount of focus. If I can lock my mind in on a task and have a buddy doing the same thing with me my mood is improved for several days. Other people don’t pay very close attention to what they’re doing and they’re always leaving things halfway complete.
I'm not diagnosed yet but it's funny because all of the biggest insecurities I've had about myself growing up turned out to just be traits for autism. Media portrays the spectrum in a really particular "one size fits all" sort of way, so my understanding of what it could look like was incredibly stifled. Watching content creators explain it from the autistic perspective is insanely helpful for me actually seeing the traits in myself. I feel like neurotypical people just don't explain the traits in any way that doesn't feel like a caricature. It's kinda like they don't realize that masking is a thing.
I've found several of your videos helpful. Both yours and the other Australian guy. I've had the signs all my life, but as many say you learn to mask or compensate... but as you said.. I've come to the spot in my 50's where the relationship deficit has come home to roost.
'Overly Logical' If there's one thing not in global surplus - it's logical behaviour
Maybe they just think its overly logical? Maybe it is them who became too illogical and irrational? If you look into how news were presented in the 50s and 60s, documentaries, actual investigate journalism, it seems to me, that nowadays everything is just dumbed down. There are things that are quite obvious to me, which other just dont seem to be able to connect.
Too much logic reduces creativity and big picture, balance is always the key
That was a perfect comment from an 'apostate'/heretical thinker! Is it a very subtle joke that you used the name of one of the most influential pagans in history together with the (very Christian) Chi-Rho? There are some ironic features of the DSM, I'd say. If someone is deemed 'overly-emotional', they are one of several hundred different types of 'neurotic', and if they are comparatively 'unemotional', they are one of several hundred types of 'personality-disordered'. That's not to question *all* of the disorders, of course - but they do seem to always expand. Apparently, no-one ever suddenly says 'hey, maybe these three disorders are all basically the same; or maybe a few of them are pretty debatable, etc'...
Dude you're called Julian the Apostate, yet you have chi-ro as your picture
@@volvoxfraktalion5225 Lol. I said the same thing. Wondered if it was a very subtle/clever joke?
For me, the most glaring symptom was when my therapist said "you're on the autism spectrum." I kid! But seriously, was diagnosed with asd and adhd in the the same 3-month period of my 50th year of life. What I didn't quite understand then was that autism, all things considered, is pretty simple to understand and to deal with (not at all 'easy', but definitely 'simple'). Adhd, on the other hand, is a friggin' nightmare of a hydra that slithers into the very fabric of your experience of consciousness and subverts your intentions in ways you will spend a lifetime learning to spot and manage. And even then... it's gonna bite you in the ass repeatedly, endlessly, you can't outsmart it. It's a cosmic trickster, and it is *not* benevolent. 😕
Well put
Damn....what's your advice then? I was diagnosed with ADHD at 24 but only realised what it truly was a few months ago and how much it has impacted my life. Now I'm starting to think I also have autism, because it explains certain things that ADHD doesn't. My Dr. disagrees, blames my cannabis use, and thinks I don't have autism. He barely knows me or enough about the current literature but can still form these opinions.
House of Kush I bought one of your compressor plug-ins! Crazy that we both find ourselves on this video too! I am 23 and I think I’m somewhere on the spectrum but not sure. Big fan! Thank u for your after hours videos!
My son has suffered autism spectrum since childhood and has battled with it all his life. But recently taking Dr Oyalo herbs have helped him get rid of it completely, his speech is vital and his social skill is perfect. I'm so glad and happy now
@@piposanchezhow you doing bud?
i almost got tears when it got to #7. i experience almost all of these and did not even know it. I've always felt i look weird, i randomly just start bopping my head, get huge facial expressions from bad sounds and textures, i laugh and grunt at completely the wrong times, wear clothes that don't fit the environment and i often forget to say simple things like goodbye, please and thank you.
I'm high-functioning Autistic, diagnosed with PDD-NOS when I was 3. Fortunately, I had a lot of early intervention so I made so much progress and can [mostly] fit in with society. You hit all this on the dot! We're not all the same, but we usually fall into these common signs and I couldn't relate more, especially on "Rules and Routines".
I still don't really understand. Does this impact you everyday?
@@josephinetracy1485if he has strategies then no. My ex gf was highly autistic. She memorized comedians jokes until she understood comedy and she just jokes with everyone. No one knows how screwed up she is. They're all just laughing. Now that I think about it robin Williams was probably autistic.
@@greuju Could be. Most people are great little actors anyway.
"I put earphones in and all of a sudden it's socially acceptable" haha I loved the way you said that!
11:20 can also describe the common nerd. Autism has always been stigmatized by people who don't understand it, but I can also recognize that people are desperate to normalize it even at the expense of diagnosing each other under the suspicion that they may be autistic simply because of introverted qualities... often times manifested, not born with. My daughter was born autistic , she was born with most of these differences listed as apposed to myself and others who I have witnessed change as a result of environmental factors and public schooling. There are many socially awkward adults who were social butterflies as children but life has a way of beating the individual down.
Right, especially after the pandemic with all the lockdowns, isolation, and mask wearing, I think it made everyone a little bit austistic for awhile 😩😂😭
"The common nerd"...... It sounds like a species of bird or something 😂 Good info on the post, but I just wanted to say that I found the first line very amusing.
Serotonin -Ray Peat Forum
@Ignace Alli which herbs?
@@drummerboy737 Weed
OK... Just discovered your channel while doing research into my own Self-Diagnosis Process and... Here's More Validating Evidence that Yes I am Autistic and am definitely "On the Spectrum"... at age 44. Wish I could've found out much sooner. Oh well... THANKS SO MUCH for making this Excellent Video and for the Great Work you're doing with your channel. Cheers! -- Mike (Autistic Visual Artist from the US)
Thanks Paul! I've been avoiding this video but I finally did.
"Did you really get the exact same subway for 3 years when you were a student? -Yes what's wrong with that?"
I take the exact same way to work everyday. Am I on the spectrum?
What is wrong with that?
@@chrisg4rr377 I'm assuming they mean subway as in this sandwich shop (ie eat the same thing for three years)
@@cream_soda which sort of bread, hot or cold and which length?
I mean why pay for something I may not like if I can get the thing I really like
I remember getting asked in a group context; how I felt about a statement. I responded with "True" then I realized a boolean response was not a feeling.
"A boolean response is not a feeling" 😂
@@bartbengal false
Very helpful information and special thanks for the advice at the end. I am convinced that my bf is Asperger’s. However, I don’t need him to admit to it but rather me learn how to: 1. understand certain behaviors, 2. not take them personal, 3. Know how to react or what not to expect, 4. Better support him, 5.how to meet my own needs so that I am not depleted when I need to be more attentive or aware.
Wonderful video, thank you for sharing. I can relate to many of the things you have said.