The Six Pillars of Self Esteem
2016 ж. 7 Жел.
2 312 663 Рет қаралды
The Six Pillars of Self Esteem
written by Dr. Nathaniel Branden
To buy in Canada:
www.amazon.ca/Six-Pillars-Sel...
To buy in the US.
www.amazon.com/Six-Pillars-Se...
The Six Pillars of Self Esteem
written by Dr. Nathaniel Branden
To buy in Canada:
www.amazon.ca/Six-Pillars-Sel...
To buy in the US.
www.amazon.com/Six-Pillars-Se...
self discipline builds self esteem. WHen you keep a promise- KEEP IT. when you say you will do something- keep that word, do it. Shit really fucks with your self image- when you continue this habit you will begin to lose trust in yourself
Yikes self discipline is my weakest point in life. Makes sense
@@myau7221 me too
That's so true,ty!
Facts 📌
🥲
“Self esteem is the reputation you gain with yourself.” Whoa
This book LITERALLY changed my life. This was the first step that led me to where I am now. I’ve come farther than I’ve ever been in my life. This book is EVERYTHING.
What changes have you experienced as a result of acting on what you read in this book?
Same here. I first listened to this book in January 2013 (10 years ago this month) and my quality of life entered an upward trajectory that more or less continues to this day. I owe a lot to Dr. Branden.
This but is fool of realness
@@eanu123 Self- Self-esteem increases! All relationships improve. Then you become a quality presence inside and outwardly.
@@GodOfVictory501it says uploaded 6y ago🤨
26:40 self efficacy and self respect 31:24 self efficacy 34:04 self respect 38:27 what self esteem looks like 43:53 pseudo self esteem 53:40 1st pillar: the practice of living consciously 1:03:40 stem sentence completion 1:11:48 2nd pillar: the practice of self acceptance 1:29:40 3rd pillar: the practice of self responsibility 1:40:22 4th pillar: the practice of self assertiveness 1:54:14 5th pillar: the practice of living purposefully 2:09:40 6th pillar: the practice of personal integrity 2:29:57 external factors: the role of parents 2:40:20 evaluative praise vs appreciative praise 2:43:20 effective criticism 2:44:37 sanity in family life 2:46:50 teachers 2:58:00 workplace
You're awesome
god bless u
Nice
God bless you🙏
To the lady from Florida discussing how the African Americans in Florida had respected the #Republicans, because Lincoln had freed the slaves. I wanted to add that not only had the KKK always claimed to support the Democratic Party, and support of socialism, along with the neo Nazi's, of which also supported full socialism of the National Socialist Party of Nazi Germany. The recent grand wizard of the KKK, in an interview at #Ferguson, claimed that he has been a "life long Democrat." On the flip side of the coin, Martin Luther King Junior was a proud religious-right-Republican, just as his niece Alveda King, also involved in politics. Noting this is yet another reason that I, too, am a proud religious-right-Republican!
*Without self acceptance self esteem is impossible.*
When you have low self-esteem is impossible to accept yourself.
@@a-k9161 read his comment again until you get it. 🙏
@@nativeb.9718 what do you get that I don't get.? 😂
@@a-k9161 He maybe saying you have to be comfortable in your own skin about your good qualitys and bad qualities. However with your bad qualities we can improve to love are self better.
This should be a required reading for high schoolers. I wish I had read this many years ago. This is fantastic!
@hike oganessian as an American you are correct. The system wants us to be dependable on them and does not want us to be self sufficient. One Love!
You're right, the system wants us to be filled with empty information. True wisdom and knowledge we don't have access to.
Yes, this should be taught in school. This is a whole curriculum. Mindfulness.
Congratulations!
Ya they should give this to high schoolers but I’m a 5 grader
Boost my perception of my self worth, and lower my perception of others. Take others off the pedestal. Idc how strong they look, confident they are, or how much money they make. No one is perfect. Stop thinking they're better than you. And value yourself more. Lower the value you place perceive others to have and higher the value you perceive yourself to have. Level everything out. You are equal to everyone, start living like it.
Zeek1212 Definitely needed this
Zeek1212 s
its amazing, i started listening to this yesterday, due to the fact that i felt like i'm getting bossed over a women in university and i did not like it. I did the practise he gives and today a girl, started flirting with me and she put even on lipstick and signaled to me that she was interested in me sexually another girl, i did a school job with this other girl who was very bossy before and neglected any ideas i said, today however it completely altered direction, she let me take control, i assume it's because i was way more assertive and direct, then what i was before and im just gonna reflect upon it, however i forget what im supposed to reflect, so looking at the yt vid :P and i will keep doing this exercise for 2 more weeks before, i will move on to practise of self acceptance, my idea behind that is that i will have a bigger understanding over it, than just listening thru the whole book in one go.
As a way to extend further on what you wrote, If we all work to deserve respect first through the relentless following of an action plan that makes us acquire respect for ourself and consequently to others' eyes rather than feel we're entitled to it freely by sheer generosity granted mysteriously by someone else, then there is more equal value established initially in any of our relationships; and I believe following that principle is the very true meaning of social equality.
🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
Applying everything learned here! Inner child work is like going back in time and being the parent you needed for yourself.
None of us made the choices of who we came from we need to see there lives and try to understand they most likely had there abuses and that goes back to someone in there life which is now dead so all that pain has no good use to your life because the person really to blame is now dead and CAN not say I am sorry . So in this second you are what actions show and that is all on you . when i say you i mean us all . these thoughts gave my a real me i am building in this second I give myself a new birthday every day now . I decide all for me . I trust myself more then I ever have . I have Harmony coming into the world in the next week or two she is my grandbaby . She will see me for the first time soon amd i hope her to see more then the ageing shell of a abused baby I was . Stuck in a nightmare a huge hole i was shredding my fingers to the bone trying to reach the top of not even having a plan to be able to pull my weight up and out of after 2 decades of scratching . I am making healthy lines like this sentence was I am finding healthy lines . No I am not finding I am Making healthy lines .
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@@saifbutt6667 no p on
I choose to value myself , to treat myself with respect , to stand up for my right to exist.
#teamimattertome
@@classiql ooo
I have a a few to you’re utitiutututoottutou onon for ô
This is my goal also🙏
@@classiql mmnmMmknnonpnpnpnpjnpjpnpnbpobnpnpnnbbonnnnjn.mmmkmmmmkk
Hey guys, I've listened to this a lot lately so here is a breakdown of this audiobook you might find helpful: 26:40 self efficacy and self respect 31:24 self efficacy 34:04 self respect 38:27 what self esteem looks like 43:53 pseudo self esteem 53:40 1st pillar: the practice of living consciously 1:03:40 stem sentence completion 1:11:48 2nd pillar: the practice of self acceptance 1:29:40 3rd pillar: the practice of self responsibility 1:40:22 4th pillar: the practice of self assertiveness 1:54:14 5th pillar: the practice of living purposefully 2:09:40 6th pillar: the practice of personal integrity 2:29:57 external factors: the role of parents 2:40:20 evaluative praise vs appreciative praise 2:43:20 effective criticism 2:44:37 sanity in family life 2:46:50 teachers 2:58:00 workplace
Thank you! 👊
Thank you so much. brilliant
dodelup777 Thank you 💚
Thanks for doing this,really helpful and much appreciated.
Great idea! Bless you
I’m 40 and looow self esteem and a pathological doubter. This book is in the mail and I’m going to try to change one more time.
If your reading this i wish you all the luck and fortune the divine has set for you to receive in this life and all future lives you assent to. 💫💕🌱💖
Allah bless you
Thanks, you too!
It's hard to be me when I don't know who I am. It's hard to be happy when all I know is sadness. It's hard to love if you have never known it. It's hard to teach when I was never taught. It's hard to hope when all you know is dissapointment. It's hard to heal when all you know is hurt and pain. It's hard to be free when you have been chained. It's time to let go and get back to myself. It's time to change so I can grow and learn. It's time to have hope joy and healing... It's time to be free!
Do you like my poem?
Love it! As I read it, I felt like I wrote it, then realised I dont write poems....
:D I'm glad I could be of assistance. :)
I'm feel the same way😭😭
@@anewstarttoabrokenlife8662 blessed my brother
May you love yourself as you are May you accept yourself as you are May you be at ease with who you are
To who ever uploaded this...thank you for helping strangers across oceans improve their quality of life and help them discover their own mysteries
you are very welcome
+A New Start To A Broken Life any book in getting rid of overprotectiveness?
More importantly, let's thank the author of this book.
🙏✌
and god bless the author , I guess he die in 2014 in age of 84 years old
Hey y'all, I wrote all the exercises down for myself and I thought I'd share them so you won't have to. Just finish the whole book first. First pillar: If I bring a higher level of consciousness to my relationship with … I would.... (write without thinking, just keep going, any answer is fine, don’t worry if they are true or make sense or not, minimum of 6 answers - 10 is enough. As rapidly as possible) Living consciously to me means:..... If I bring 5% more awareness to my activities today… If I pay more attention to how I deal with people today… If I bring 5% more awareness to my most important relationship today… When I reflect on how I would feel if I lived more consciously… When I reflect on what happens when I bring 5% more awareness to my activities… When I reflect on what happens when I bring 5% more awareness to my most important relationships… A daily exercise monday-friday. Do not read what I first wrote until the weekend. Read no longer than 10min. If you do, then you’re thinking too much. In the weekend read what you wrote for the week and write this: If any of what I wrote this week is true, it might be helpful if I:...... Do not impose any demands on the situation, empty your mind of expectations. What is the most difficult? If I choose to be more conscious at work, what might I do differently? If I choose to be more conscious in my most important relationship, what might I do differently? If I choose to pay more attention to how I deal with people, what might I do differently? If I feel fear or reluctance to expand consciousness in any of these areas, what are the imagined negatives I am avoiding(expecting)? If without self-reproach I bring more consciousness to my fears or reluctance what might I notice? If I wanted to feel more powerful and effective in the areas of my consciousness that are less than they need to be what am I willing to do? Self acceptance: Self acceptance to me means:... If I am more accepting of my body:... When I deny and disown my body:... If I am more accepting of my conflicts:... When I deny or disown my conflicts:... If I am more accepting of my feelings:... When I deny and disown my feelings:... If I am more accepting of my thoughts:... When I deny and disown my thoughts:... In weekend: If any of what I wrote this week is true, it might be helpful if I:...... Self Responsibility: Self responsibility to me means… At the thought of being responsible for my own existence… If I accepted responsibility for my own existence, that would mean… When I avoid responsibility for my own existence… If I accepted 5% more responsibility for the attainment of my goals… If I took more responsibility for the success of our relationships… Sometimes I keep myself passive by:... Weekend: If any of what I wrote this week is true, it might be helpful if I:...... No one is coming. (to help me, to save me, to take away my responsibility) Self Assertiveness: Self assertiveness to me means… If I lived 5% more self assertively today… If I brought more awareness to my deepest needs and wants… If I were willing to voice my thoughts and opinions more often… When I suppress my thoughts and opinions… Weekend: If any of what I wrote this week is true, it might be helpful if I:...... Living Purposefully Living purposefully to me means… If I bring 5% more purposefulness to my life today… If I operate 5% more purposefully in my main relationship… If I operate 5% more purposefully with my friends… If I am 5% more purposeful about my deepest yearnings… Weekend: If any of what I wrote this week is true, it might be helpful if I:...... Personal Integrity If I bring 5% more integrity into my life… Integrity to me means… If I bring 5% more integrity to my work… If I bring 5% more integrity to personal relationships… If I am willing to look at the areas where I do not practice integrity… Weekend: If any of what I wrote this week is true, it might be helpful if I:......
Thank you!!!! I'm currently 25 minutes in.. where are these exercises found?
@@beautyroses8771 From the first pillar onward.
Wow thank you very much for sharing.
Thank you, very much!
You have a huge heart for doing this and love and blessings shall dwell with you throughout this life.
This book helped me through a divorce right after my mother passed away....I was so broken down.....I was close to losing my mind......the book of James and this book brought me some peace, knowledge, and hope!
Right there with you will this book help , lost my Mom too we were so close .. hope you are well
Thank you do you mean James in the Bible?
I am going through a divorce and my dad passed away 3 months ago
@@HolisticDramaFree yes thats what I am referring to!
@@emiliabaran493 thank you!
I choose to value myself , to treat myself with respect , to stand up for my right to exist !
And that's the law of true survival my friend to stick by the strong belief and strengthen belief of knowing you are worth a damn and stand tall and fight to defend it and you are respected because you live with this belief and let it permeate in your actions,ways of thinking and being
I´VE been Seeking my fathers approval and he never approved anything in my life ever since i was young, so i Started Hating On Everything!!! I Feel Like This Book Just took A lot of weight from my back! Thanks!
I approve your comment
i know that feeling man.
I know exactly how you feel , you deserve all the love and approval in the world , happy for you !
Me too.
That is very hard to take . As a father myself I can only think he was raised that way and unaware of the impact. Be kind to yoursrlf my friend.
self-esteem is not fixed/ determined at childhood! There's hope!
I hope this is true
@@user-ox4gr5uf7m .........yes I do hope Tom Brady stays with the Patriots as well ....
@dreamland come on , you know better than to generalize .
@@user-ox4gr5uf7m you must have been in a lot of pain. Well is been a year, hope you're ok now. 😆
Hope is for people with low self-esteem.🤪
“Anytime we have to act, to face a challenge, to make a moral decision about ourselves for good or bad, we affect our feelings about ourselves depending on the nature of our response and the mental processes behind it and if we avoid actions and decisions despite their obvious necessity, that too affects our sense of self.”
5th time listening. "When you read a good book twice, you don't find something new, you find new things about yourself" #paraphrased
My therapist sent me this video at the end of one of our sessions. I have since shared it with all of my close friends. This book has answered many questions I have been struggling with throughout my life, and is the only tool I have found so far that has allowed me to believe that I can and will overcome my lack of self respect and self worth. I no longer feel so "stuck". Thank you so much for sharing!
I'm glad this video was helpful. You might like some of the other audio books that I have on my channel.
Sounds like an awesome therapist. My mentor/therapist first sent me "The Psychology of Self-Esteem". I was interested in finding out more about Branden and I found this video.
Sara Brown so your comment was 9 months Ago, how do you feel now?
yes, we would like you to know how do you feel now, Sara? Thanks.
Sara Brown God bless you!
Realness. I now understand the reason why many intelligent people live mediocre lives.
Every person on Earth needs to hear this.
This book should be read in schools but school isn’t about learning it’s about becoming a robot and not use ur brain
yes, are you also impressed by how realistic ai sounds
@@chrischandler6576 im pretty sure thats the author reading lol
@chrischandler6576 it's not AI this book and author is older than the internet.
it still amazes me that this type of information is out here for free. Thank you so much for this UPLOAD!
I agree, so many awesome books for free.
Me to 💯
true! 👏
@@ericagreen8682 ķķķkķķķķkkķķķķk
It in the Biblia mi yute
Nathaniel Brandon tells us that healthy self esteem is what inspires us to be respectful and benevolent to others. It is NOT selfishness, arrogance, or narcissism. If we can make our self esteem even a little more healthy our lives can improve greatly. His practices are, living consciously, self acceptance, self responsibility, self assertiveness, living purposely, and personal integrity. Thanks for sharing his book.
kzhead.info/sun/nNeqltiNlmlqap8/bejne.html
Being respectful to others I do because I feel I am a proper person. Benevolent to others because I just like to help people. And my self esteem is probably worse than anyone I’ve ever known. But I guess I should read what the author wrote in its context.
I have been searching for help to recover from abusive relationships. i just heard him say that we should not question or judge why our self esteem is so low...........we should question the character of the person who would treat another human being like this. perfect for attempting to recover from such abuse. we must see and understand the damage before we can begin repair. denial of the damage is very dangerous i see now. like driving a car with faulty brakes. if we do not inspect the brakes to see are they in good working condition, one day when we least expect it those brakes are going to have to be used. and if the problem is not identified.........it could be fatal. i see high self esteem now not as a luxury .......but the most crucial element to be obtained. in these uncertain times it is not even optional, but THE tool for our very survival. THANK YOU VERY VERY MUCH!
Thank you, that is very eye opening even to me. So thank you again for the comment and watching the video.
so much yes
Yes deal with facts and make progress. Denial is not a long-term solution. The NEW AGE movement teaches people to practice denial. I dislike talking to them, they don't want to take action on anything in society because 'the problem does not exist'
Zzenith falkner You know I've been working on my self for the past 4 years and this is the aspect of my life I've had the most problems with. I'm 31 and even tho I wasn't abused phisicly, I was abused mentally and emotionally to make me belive I wasn't worth much. Thanks to books like this and awesome people that have been with me through this trial, I'm every day better and happier. Much blessings to you
This is one of many books and teachings that helped me overcome social anxiety years ago, it sits firmly on my bookshelf for anyone who has problems of the like.
What would you say the most challenging part was in terms of integration in order to overcome it?
I have the right to be here. Where could I have ever gotten the idea that I don't belong or need to be an outsider? My self esteem is at the core no matter how much other spiritual work I do, this has to come first from now on.
Yes spirituality and building self esteem work hand in hand. I felt good led me here because God knew I needed self esteem.
I remember a radio station that used to air 24 hrs/7 days all of these great authors, that was 1997-99 in the Bay Area Silicon Valley I learned tons that helped me become so confident and take the challenges of competition, that radio station disappeared, but now I know the greatest authors and motivational speakers! Thank you!
Hey do you have any recommendations besides this book?
Care to share who these greatest authors and motivational speakers are?
What are some other ones?
It was wrong of me to think confidence meant high self-esteem, because I was confident in a lot of things and lead people. I should've learned the word self-worth; it's how I found this book. Probably the best among those in its category
To have self esteem...you must first have a self.
Double bind...from a narc parent can result in an under developed self....literally feeling that one does not have a self.....this can cause major challenges. The way out is through practicing the self muscle....and trusting self. For example....do you like pizza or spaghetti more? Pizza. Ok...how did you know that? You dont think about it....you just know. That is the self. Narc parents attempt to destroy that sense of self through shame...and psych games. This cauaes major damage...but there are always ways out. Practicing self muscles everyday is way out. Once there is self....next step is self esteem.
So very true. I recently realized I don't have a defined self. I'm working to define my self
@@tizzlekizzle thank you
@@patriciaward6960 you got it dude.
If I may add a bit more to this topic...the self includes...spirit..emotions...body...and rational (mind) self. To practice developing the self...start small....do i want cherry or strawberry juice?....you will feel which one you want. If you start thinking...that means you've escaped back into the mind self. The feeling self is the chair of the self...the anchor...the intuition part. This is the body and unconscious feelings. You just know you like something because it feels good. If it feels bad...practice choising something else and getting away from it. If you are unsure....thats ok....you could be indifferent...or possibly dissociating and out of touch with your embodied self. Come back later abd practice again. No need to think. Trust your immediate gut without justification or 2nd guessing. You may feel fear..shame...rage...etc....as there us a reason you disconnected from self. Allow all of those feelings....recognize them as valid...and continue practice. As you do....you will reconnect with your self. Once self is established....good enough....you can start to love self...protect self...honor self....take care of self....allow it to express through art....tell you what it prefers...likes...doesnt like....set self goals and acheive them.....now you are building self esteem. The next step....is finding someone....a secure attachment...who will mirror the positive and healthy way you treat yourself....now you have a relationship with yourself...abd another self acting as a positive mirror to you.
This book is tremendously helpful. I can not express in words how astounding the stem exercises are.
To the lady from Florida discussing how the African Americans in Florida had respected the #Republicans, because Lincoln had freed the slaves. I wanted to add that not only had the KKK always claimed to support the Democratic Party, and support of socialism, along with the neo Nazi's, of which also supported full socialism of the National Socialist Party of Nazi Germany. The recent grand wizard of the KKK, in an interview at #Ferguson, claimed that he has been a "life long Democrat." On the flip side of the coin, Martin Luther King Junior was a proud religious-right-Republican, just as his niece Alveda King, also involved in politics. Noting this is yet another reason that I, too, am a proud religious-right-Republican!
@@NiyahStyles I am not sure that this was written by me, but if it was at some point... Then you will not violate my freedom of speech, practice religious discrimination, without being reported, not just to KZhead, but back to the prosecutor's office to report your violating Biblical core values ruling, 1964 Civil Rights Act giving religion protected class status, hate crimes legislation, cyber bullying, illegal redirecting software, illegal fake pages, legal right to proselytize Fed Sup Ct ruling, legal right to debate the issues ruling, and police harassment, with you hate and illegal religious bigotry. You informant thugs, and the law breaking officers that you work for, are going to be sued, out of a job, ruined work record, and the plea bargainers back to jail for violating agreements.
@@NiyahStyles And wiht a fake link like this, which will shine in front of the FBI IC3, proving redirecting software, that you redirect me to a fake page to start bullying, thinking that it will cause you to not get caught... Think again, I am saving them all for court, and for every prosecutor in the state. kzhead.info/sun/oMp_hbqmrnWEiZE/bejne.html&lc=UgzXmQM6ONu3MnucCH54AaABAg.8XBDgGYgFIN9WbxFD11OXb
@@CarrieGerenScogginsOfficial carrie i'm going to tell you this the most sincere way i can: i dont care
Now that’s what I call stem research 😅
This audio book was very informative for me. Helped me pinpoint just how deep my self esteem has been affected based on my actions & decisions due to childhood trauma. Thank you to whomever uploaded this! Peace, love & blessings to everyone struggling with self esteem. We got this! We are good enough, we aren't unworthy. ❤️✨
How can we tell what we been through is considered trauma or not?
@@lenderzconstable That is a complex question. Too people can go through the same experience yet one can be traumatized and the other not. I feel like a lot of people overuse the term a bit but that is another topic. If you truly want to know you should see a professional therapist.If you don't have the ability to see one there are proper tests you can take online but you have to find the real ones used by healthcare professionals. But it won't be as accurate without an actually psychologist. But finding out if you actually have trauma does little if you don't treat it. Also if you can't afford going too a therapist there are affordable online alternatives also there are a lot of free self help groups for a varity of topics. Therapy is something everyone that has the ability to do should do just like taking care of your physical health by working out etc so should one do with ones mental health which although is getting better is not advised enough it is not something that should only be done when our mental health is bad. Finding the right therapist for you is key otherwise it can be meaningless. Hope you find what you are looking for my friend :)
This book seriously turned my life around. It was 2006...
One might think this information would have afforded him a life of good decisions but this author was married at least 4 times and had affairs with Ayn Rand, just food for thought...
Marisa H But didn’t he write these books after the fact? He states in this book about one of his marriages. I am sure all those things he went through was what made him search for the truth. But I see and understand your point.
@@marisah6947 don't lose the message because of who delivered it, a homeless person could share wisdom with you if you listen✌
Is the poem in the starting is part of this book?
@@marisah6947 just cause a man makes mistakes doesn't mean he doesn't know what hes talking about obviously along the way he learned these traits in doing things that others felt were in just or immoral just take what you can from this human being thats all no need for judgment
Needed this at the right moment I found it
Six pillars of self esteem: does not need perfection, just to raise average level of performance to experience just growth in these areas. 51:00 1.The practice of living consciously 2. The practice of self acceptance 3. The practice of self responsibility 4. The practice of self assertiveness 5.The practice of living purposely 6. The practice of personal integrity
We teach our children what we are!! If one has a strong sense of what is morally right or wrong, we will nurture our children accordingly !!👍
Read this, 2021. Part of an on-going awakening.
This has totally changed my mindset and created a much deeper understanding of myself
Bravo! Good luck to you
"we live more to avoid pain than to experience joy"
Nathaniel Branden was indeed a Genius... thanks to the uploader
the exercises in this book are amazing and have changed my life.
thank you... my Self-Esteem increase + 50 point...
Let’s see that beautiful face instead of that cat then!! 💪🏾💪🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🤗🤗🤗🤗
You've just helped me put together the final pieces of my life. Im 43 was giving up... now i see... now i see... and im angry & happy & im gonna build a good life. My thanks to the writer of the book.
Im still working at it and lifes better
Life-transforming. The later part on child development is especially relevant for me and those who were raised in divorced families, or by parents who themselves have low self-esteem. Thanks to everyone involved in making this audiobook possible.
My mom has low self esteem and my dad used to deny me. These types of books are awesome!
Yes Thank You to the person whom uploaded it for us ! We are so fortunate!!! 🥰
Did anyone else fall asleep watching youtube and woke up 3 hours into this?
I was suffering in silence till I came across this Book... 📖 Content on point.
Me too .... this has been really helpful :) Glad you are doing better Karina !
this book and some other circumstances made me feel hope in my life again. I am so thankful for it, words can not describe it. with my full being I want to express my gratitude by sharing it to others who might need it.
Thanks to whoever uploaded this. I bought this book many years ago and never read it cover to cover. I listened to an hour and 8 minutes for 3 days and got it all in. Good stuff.
The audiobook is significantly abridged compared to the print book, and all the better for it. There's no way anyone can take in all Dr. Branden's points in one reading so at least a shorter audiobook allows the user to listen to it over and over (e.g. in the car, in your earphones when out for a walk, while preparing dinner). It's a fabulous book. Best wishes.
".. but I came to say, that no one is coming".. Classic! Profound!💜👌👏
I think what I think, feel what I feel, desire what I desire, have done what I have done and am what I am
This is one of the channels that gave me the courage to start my KZhead channel 6 months ago about self development. Now I have 569 subs and > 100 hours of watch time. I know it’s not comparable with others but I’m still proud I started because I’ve been learning so many lessons that I could haven’t learned without getting started in the 1st place.
thank you so much for the person who upload this book ! and thank you all of you for your positive comments !!
you are very welcome. :)
Damn... only 16minutes in and, like the meme goes, I’m feeling “attacked”. It’s insane to hear your own thoughts and ways of thinking spoken back at you. It’s almost unreal. What he’s speaking of are patterns I’ve recognized within myself but chose to overlook.
I choose to value myself, to treat myself with self respect, to stand up for my right to exist
I am more of a Bookworm, so I started reading the book and half way through now. Really loving it... gave a clearer perception and understanding about myself and how I view the world. Taught me how to save myself from my traumas and how to parent myself. But Thank you for uploading this audio for free, it will definitely help a lot of people.
This is exactly what I’ve needed to hear all my life. Amazing.
This book literally change my life
I would love to see you upload a video as to why
Do share
How did you go about implementing ideas here? How did you go from theory to self improvement?
I am listening to this pretty much once a week and wow ...... everytime i pick something new
6:52 Why self esteem allows us to live better. 13:12 Nurturing our sense of efficacy and worth, and experiencing ourselves as loveable, teaches us how to love others. 16:44 Accepting that enjoying being ourselves need not destroy us, and it need not disappear. Can you get through a day without undermining or subverting your good feelings? 19:17 Self Esteem is not arrogance. 21:11 Self Esteem enables us to take joy in what we do. 22:51 Self Esteem is not a replacement for basic skills and basic necessities. But it increases our ability to operate and succeed in a demanding world. 26:39 How self efficacy and self respect contribute to self esteem. 31:22 Self efficacy is the trust that our rationality and conciensciousness (diligent thought) is commited to the goals that are entailed in our values. 34:02 Self respect is our commitment to preserving our value as a person worthy of the rewards of our actions. 36:34 Our self esteem is strengthened or weakened from moment to moment by our choices and actions. 38:25 Healthy self esteem will express itself through our face, body language, speech and movements as well. 41:37 How low self steem is rooted in feeling at war with one's self, at odds with our reality and inappropriate to our existence. Feeling that something is wrong with us or that we are lacking something essential. 46:19 The only source of self esteem is in the intimate relationship we have with our self. 48:48 Building healthy self esteem involves a daily practice of actions and awareness that creates a positive feedback loop. 53:41 - Practice: Living Consciously. Exploring both our external reality and our internal reality, to align our actions with our thinking and correct both in ways that benefit our self esteem. It is the combination of seeing, knowing and acting. It is includes not confusing the subjective with the objective. 1:01:55 - How to use stem scentences. 1:06:02 - Stems 1:11:46 - Practice: Self Acceptance. We must avoid attempting to rationalise, deny or explain away the truth of our feelings at any particular moment. We only build self esteem when we accept ourselves. Accepting does not mean liking or approving. It means experiencing the facts of our internal and external reality. Accepting ourselves includes fully experiencing what we feel at any moment, owning it, and asking ourselves why. Accepting what is, is the precondition for change. Denying what is, leaves us stuck in it. A fully realised self acceptance does not evade the worst in us. And neither does it evade the best in us. 1:26:17 - Stems 1:29:41 - Practice: Self Responsibility. We must realise the exact degree to which we are responsible for our needs and wants, well being and experiences. Denying self responsibility for matters within our control jeopardises our self esteem. Self responsibility leads to the question 'What's can I do about it?' Self responsibility is a recognition that we are not morally entitled to treat other people as a means to our ends, and vice versa. No one is coming to make life 'right' for us. 1:37:50 - Stems 1:40:20 - Practice: Self Assertiveness. Honoring and seeking the appropriate expression of our wants and needs in reality. It is to leap into the arena, and to be a participant, not a spectator. It is not the avoidance of this in order to please, placate or manipulate someone. It is not mindless rebellion, protests or aggression. Healthy self assertiveness is ultimately tested not by what we are against, but what we are for. It is a commitment to live and express our values. It is an intelligent and compassionate selfishness. One of the ways we build self esteem is by being self assertive when it is not easy to do so. In group work, the lack of self assertiveness among team members manifests as passivity or disfunction, and they become sabatouers. 1:52:49 - Stems 1:54:15 - Practice: Living Purposefully. If we want it to work we must make it our conscious purpose to work. Identifying standards or metrics that help us to know what is or isn't worth doing. To set a course in our quest for assertiveness. The purposes that move us need to be specific, and related to a plan of action, in order to be realised. It includes monitoring our behaviour and paying attention to the outcomes of our actions to check that they're leading to where we want to go. This produces the experience of efficacy. Even recreation, relaxation and frivolous activity can be chosen purposefully. 2:08:45 - Stems 2:09:40 - Practice: Personal Integrity. When our behaviour and speech is congruent with our convictions we are integrated beings. Others may judge what we do as right or wrong, but if we act against what we believe is right then we betray our mind and undermine our sense of self respect. Congruency builds trust in ourselves and supports self esteem. Hypocrisy is self invalidating and more damaging to us than any external rebuke or rejection. In matters of self esteem our own judgement of ourselves is the only thing that counts. Guilt is a consequence of failed integrity and only an act of integrity can provide relief. Sometimes that means questioning our existing standards and values if they are causing us to feel like hypocrits. This goes back to the practice of awareness and how we must make sure to choose our values and standards consciously. The more we live consciously the more we trust our mind and respect our worth. 2:25:11 - Stems 2:29:54 - Parents 2:32:04 2:40:02 2:52:37 2:58:00 - Self Esteem at the Workplace. 3:04:47 - Self Esteem for Leaders. 3:07:56 - Self Esteem versus Culture. 3:18:08 - The pursuit of Self Esteem when it is not easy.
1st time I've really listened to this,helps you understand your life, and gives you the tools to improve.
@@SpicyOatmilk Glad it helps! This book and his first one completely blew my mind.
If you are a Christian I think reminding yourself that you are made in the image of God will help. You will find it’s easier to accept yourself fully. This helped me.
What had helped you.. this book or knowing that your a child of the Father and a follower of Christ ? Was this book any good.
I had horrible self esteem to the point I didn't want people to even look at me, I felt that unworthy. At that point what kept me going is what God says of me (the kind thoughts He thinks of me and the fact that He loves me.) I had to lean on that because that's all I had. Now, I have healed a lot. And this book has helped a lot by giving me a road map, definitions, and ways to work on my relationship with myself. I use it to gauge how well I'm doing with each pillar and where I can work some more. Hopefully, my experience and insight helps somebody here.
Just great, awesome, life changing. I think everyone on earth should read this. If everyone had a healthy self esteem, the world would be a much better place. Kudos to the author. Thanks for uploading
1:05:10
The most disastrous relationships are those between persons who think poorly of themselves. The union of two abysses does not produce a height. I will remember this quote for the rest of my life
This is the most life transforming book on knowing and growing the self I have ever read. I am glad to see it on KZhead. You definitely need to do the sentence completion exercises to get the full benefit.
EXTREMELY POWERFUL. THANK YOU FOR POSTING THIS. I WILL LISTEN TO IT EVERY NIGHT FOR A YEAR.
anything changed. after listening to it everyday
I'm creating a new life for myself since the death of all my bandmates, friends, parents, wife ... lost everyone :( I don't want to be another statistic and know that God has me here to help others. Love 101 is loving ourself so that we may love others. The universe keeps playing this "out of the blue" and trying to be mindful I see that it's for a reason. I'm not only listening intently but doing the excersizes. This is an AWESOME self-help book/audio vid !!! Thank you for uploading this, the world is a better place :) Rock on
This book should be the foundation of one's healing
Pragmatic, insightful, must read rather must own the book to be read every three months
Had an epiphany moment with the knowledge shared .. It has given me answers that I have been looking for in my life My life will never be the same again For the 1st time I told myself you are beautiful inside out and I believed it and it felt so real! God bless you!
Damn, the exercises in this are like nothing I've ever tried before. It's like I'm finally starting to give myself all the answers that I've been trawling through all these f*cking self help videos to find. And I've watched/listened to loads.
1 yr later. How are you doing?
348frank348 he jumped off a cliff
@@AZ-gs6hj i hope he's feeling great now
@@AZ-gs6hj Hey zoomer , go and make your tiktok videos, this stuff is not meant for zoomer.
I completely forgot about this great author, but this awesome reminder is a must do exercise! I am so excited!
I wish I had heard this 20 years before. A very helpful book on personal development and self-esteem.
Never too late I'm starting at fifty
Sent this link to everyone I know . This is powerful .
I wish that also. I just feel its too late at the age of 40. Its so darn hard to try and break what has been engraved in your brain for this long.
I'm 23. I hope its not too late.
@@Augie13 You can do it, if you try .
Don’t let someone’s low self esteem, bring your grind to a holt.
"A LIFE WITHOUT STRUGGLE,PAIN OR EFFORT IS JUST AN INFINITE DREAM" Enough said!!!!!!!!
Much needed teaching in "2021"... Thank you!💕
You know it !
This audiobook was amazing!
Know our value and worth. If we don't have self steem and self respect to our self. Means we don't have that for others also. I love this book.
1/2 way through ... this book will empower me to change my life. It is like it is made for me. Many thanks to the author and to the uploader!
Congratulations!
I've heard more quotable quotes in this 1 book then a lifetime of hip-hop. I always thought music was so invoking but I think it is just the PREFERRED method. This book may not be the preferred method but it is definitely the most EFFECTIVE.
I also listen to hiphop but how in the world you would think it wouldve any values or quotes, the lyrics are so far from reality
Oh my God the content of this book is sooooooo good! And the voice is soooooo atractive and beautiful! Im at 1h 10 minutes and want this to never end!! Thanks for having created such a lovelu thing
Yeah ... good stuff huh ?
What an amazing read! Loved it. Means so much to me and my self-esteem.
I'm glad ;-)
About an hour into this book and I *really* like it so far! It's refreshing to hear someone write/speak on this subject without the tinge of Machiavellianism that's so often present in most "self-help" nowadays. I will definitely be giving this book several re-listens in the future.
thank you generous awesome person who uploaded this!
I'm just trying to help others out. and you are very welcome. Thank you for watching this.
A New Start To A Broken Life: Gosh, this is good, exactly what I want to work with in a psychotherapy, but haven't found for decades of searching... Do you receive clients from other countries, if you are in Canada? I want to work to get well and start living now! Thank you for clear, empowering reading and tough love! Your patients must be spreading light in the world as they come out...
I don't have clients. I just have other people looking for help like I am looking for.
A New Start: Thanks, - yes, I saw afterwards that you are not he, and that he has crossed the threshold to the spiritual life. Good to know there are others than I wanting an honest, true , whole life. Let's get well!
A New Start To A Broken Life waw
It’s A New Day For Information And I Believe Everything Happens For A Reason I Don’t Know who’s reading this but KEEP GOING
This book is amazing! just 15 minutes in haha Recommended by Julien and Brandon from RSD. I'm glad I found it and I appreciate you for putting it up! would listen on Audible but this boys on a budget 😎. You sir are a financial hero!
Ma'am not sir. and you are welcome
Sewage MoNk ur comment is shit. Basically dumb congrats.! Seems ur brain is on a thinking budget.!
Jenna Kenna Yikes, you OK there? Do you need to talk through some feelings?
thank you for sticking up someone.
1:25:35 Listening and contemplating this is I discovered a third problematic assumption inside myself. That is: If I admit and accept my faults, I will be be held responsible to not repeat them the next time, either by myself , others or both, and I may not be able to justify why I cannot perform that well that quickly, leaving me open to embarrasment and condemnation from either source. If I simply do not see the problem and deny it, no one can hold me to it
flauwegeit but then you would be doing a disservice to yourself. It would hurt you in the long run. Maybe when you acknowledge it, either accept it or change it by taking responsibility. And apologize if you still do it despite knowing that you would prefer not to.
This is a must-read-book! Full of great advices!
“The civility we cannot find in the world we must create within...” Thank you for this!
This book is a sacred testament to self improvement and should be taught at all schools nationwide
THIS IS WHAT I NEEDED IN MY LIFE, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK THANK YOU !!!!!!
Oh, you are very welcome. try some other of my books
Related reading, recommended: Psycho cybernetics, by Maxwell Maltz
M Frusciante I have that on a pending list to read.
yes!!
I haven't listened yet. Just a comment on the beginning poem... First of all, well spoken, second of all it's NOT hard. All you have to do is pray. God bless.
Idk why but this calms me. Just got done watching coach lee & was brought here automatically.
Your not going to like who you are based on substance abuse and being a chronic liar. Self esteem is based on a positive model of your self talk and regulation, no one will give it to you. This is a gift you give your self and it requires growth !
I wish they have books like this available as a handbook for life handed at grade school graduation!
4 years later and i just had to listen to this book at this point of my life. Am so grateful for whoever was behind it. Thank you!
Wow, only half an hour in to this but I assumed that the English used would be that tortuously simplistic style often used in self help books, but this is really a pleasure to listen to. YOur brain will not slide in to predictive-listen which is the step before tuning out! I am playing bits back because I am enjoying how it's been phrased. Ideas that have been doing laps in the periphery of my consciousness are given succinct definitions, which does help.