KZhead is like USSR, you only get what you'd like 10 years later.
@marko.rankovic4 жыл бұрын
Glad to see the comments section has turned into a Soviet joke generator.
@MM-vs2et4 жыл бұрын
Q: How do you double the value of a Soviet automobile?
@edgarbanuelos64725 жыл бұрын
Stalin is sitting in his office signing papers, when suddenly his assistant bursts through the door
@artemshevtsov60622 жыл бұрын
Reagan and Gorbachev made a bet about whose country has more drunks. Reagan is first to visit USSR. Of course, he sees drunkards all over the place - in the airport, on the streets, in restaurants, etc. Then it's Gorbachev turn. He flies into Washington. Reagan greets him on the tarmac, hands him a Colt and says: If you see any drunks on the street, you can just shoot them, no questions asked. After it gets dark, Gorbachev goes on the prowl in Washington D.C. Sure enough, after a short while he sees a man stumbling around. Bang! Shoots him dead. A few minutes later he sees another man who can't even walk being propped-up by his two very drunk buddies. Bang, bang, bang! Shoots all three. This goes on until Gorbachev is out of ammo. Satisfied, he returns back to his hotel and goes to sleep. In the morning, he is served breakfast with the morning copy of Washington Post. Top headline reads: Last night, an unidentified, bald-headed terrorist shot half the staff of the Soviet Embassy.
@johnsmith48112 жыл бұрын
In Soviet Russia we had 2 TV stations. Station 1 was government propaganda, Station 2 was man from KGB say, 'Turn television to Channel 1."
@juliaj79394 жыл бұрын
Two Russians are in line for bread in Moscow.
@SteveFoerster5 жыл бұрын
The most vicious weapon made during the Cold War: Reagan's Soviet jokes
@PaulFJarnes Жыл бұрын
I like this one:
@OstblockLatina
An American, a Russian, and a Chinese are in a car.
@ben-ix6jr4 жыл бұрын
"watcha doin, comrades?"
@spagetti0014 жыл бұрын
Napoleon and one of his top generals are watching a Soviet military parade. Napoleon is glancing at a Russian newspaper. The general says to Napoleon "If we had soldiers like those we would have won Waterloo!", later the general says "If we had guns like those we would have easily defeated Wellington!", then the general says "If we had those tanks instead of horses, we could have crushed the British!". Napoleon looks up from the newspaper and says "If we had a newspaper like this, no-one would know that we lost the battle".
@golden.lights.twinkle23292 жыл бұрын
Comrade Khrushchev visited a collective farm that raises pigs. Reporters took pictures for Pravda for an article. After writing up the article and placing the picture on the page, the editors aren't sure how to caption the photograph. The ideas thrown around are: "Comrade Khrushchev among pigs", "Pigs and Khrushchev", and so on. Finally, after much deliberation, the article makes it to the press. The photograph is captioned: "Comrade Khrushchev is third one from the right".
@johnsmith48112 жыл бұрын
Two KGB agents together.
@KrautGoesWild4 жыл бұрын
Peasants from a collective farm make their way to see Lenin with an appeal.
@johnsmith4811 Жыл бұрын
Stalin was on his way Warsaw by car. It was the middle of the night in the Polish countryside, and the driver couldn't see the road very well. As they passed a lonely little farmhouse, they felt a huge thump and heard a squeal of an animal.
@innsj6369 Жыл бұрын
A communist jokes isn’t funny until everyone gets it
@zuikerou76254 жыл бұрын
A judge comes out of his Moscow courtroom laughing hysterically.
@talknight25 жыл бұрын
- Comrade, do you think we will ever reach true Communism?
@johnsmith4811 Жыл бұрын
Love how Reagan sounds like the wisest man alive even when telling jokes.
KZhead is like USSR, you only get what you'd like 10 years later.
Glad to see the comments section has turned into a Soviet joke generator.
Q: How do you double the value of a Soviet automobile?
Stalin is sitting in his office signing papers, when suddenly his assistant bursts through the door
Reagan and Gorbachev made a bet about whose country has more drunks. Reagan is first to visit USSR. Of course, he sees drunkards all over the place - in the airport, on the streets, in restaurants, etc. Then it's Gorbachev turn. He flies into Washington. Reagan greets him on the tarmac, hands him a Colt and says: If you see any drunks on the street, you can just shoot them, no questions asked. After it gets dark, Gorbachev goes on the prowl in Washington D.C. Sure enough, after a short while he sees a man stumbling around. Bang! Shoots him dead. A few minutes later he sees another man who can't even walk being propped-up by his two very drunk buddies. Bang, bang, bang! Shoots all three. This goes on until Gorbachev is out of ammo. Satisfied, he returns back to his hotel and goes to sleep. In the morning, he is served breakfast with the morning copy of Washington Post. Top headline reads: Last night, an unidentified, bald-headed terrorist shot half the staff of the Soviet Embassy.
In Soviet Russia we had 2 TV stations. Station 1 was government propaganda, Station 2 was man from KGB say, 'Turn television to Channel 1."
Two Russians are in line for bread in Moscow.
The most vicious weapon made during the Cold War: Reagan's Soviet jokes
I like this one:
An American, a Russian, and a Chinese are in a car.
"watcha doin, comrades?"
Napoleon and one of his top generals are watching a Soviet military parade. Napoleon is glancing at a Russian newspaper. The general says to Napoleon "If we had soldiers like those we would have won Waterloo!", later the general says "If we had guns like those we would have easily defeated Wellington!", then the general says "If we had those tanks instead of horses, we could have crushed the British!". Napoleon looks up from the newspaper and says "If we had a newspaper like this, no-one would know that we lost the battle".
Comrade Khrushchev visited a collective farm that raises pigs. Reporters took pictures for Pravda for an article. After writing up the article and placing the picture on the page, the editors aren't sure how to caption the photograph. The ideas thrown around are: "Comrade Khrushchev among pigs", "Pigs and Khrushchev", and so on. Finally, after much deliberation, the article makes it to the press. The photograph is captioned: "Comrade Khrushchev is third one from the right".
Two KGB agents together.
Peasants from a collective farm make their way to see Lenin with an appeal.
Stalin was on his way Warsaw by car. It was the middle of the night in the Polish countryside, and the driver couldn't see the road very well. As they passed a lonely little farmhouse, they felt a huge thump and heard a squeal of an animal.
A communist jokes isn’t funny until everyone gets it
A judge comes out of his Moscow courtroom laughing hysterically.
- Comrade, do you think we will ever reach true Communism?
Love how Reagan sounds like the wisest man alive even when telling jokes.