This video is all over the place but I swear it's worth the watch if you've been wanting to know how things have been going after my autism assessment and would like some of your autism-related questions answered. I also bust out a few tips and tricks for accommodating yourself! 🌈
🎬 My Autism Assessment Video: • Finding Out I'm Autist...
⭐THE RESOURCES⭐
📝 The various quizzes and tests mentioned in the video can be found here: embrace-autism.com/
🛒 Some of the tools and fidgets mentioned in this video can be found here on my Amazon shop: amzn.to/48MdxT3
📚 Chapters
0:00 Getting Right Into It
0:35 Quick Intro
1:40 Fallout From My Video
3:17 Why Would You WANT a Diagnosis?
5:15 Accommodating Yourself
14:30 Why Should I Have to Mask?
16:18 When People Give You a Hard Time
17:41 "Relating to Autism Doesn't Make You Autistic"
19:14 It's All Fake. STAY IN YOUR LANE.
20:20 It's Time to Talk About It
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Links and everything are in the description of this video! Leave your questions and comments and I will do my best to get back to you all either here or in another follow up video! 💖
Question: the long thumpy sounding thing that you held in your fist and twisted your wrist to make it curl around your hand and make a thumping noise…WHAT IS IT CALLED and where did you get it? (I looked at your Amazon list and I didn’t see it in any of the packs listed)
Brilliant video, soz 4 my long comment on main video. All good though 💟 For those who can't have a sensory swing, an inflatable gym ball is also good for motion. 👍
@@dashleydiepen4487 So sorry about that! I just added them now! I can't believe I missed them! amzn.to/4bQDIKp
i actually liked "THAT" video. I watched today and i thank you for uploading it and keeping up there. I bet there's people who agrees with me.
I got officially diagnosed with ASD today, age 55, better late than never.
Absolutely! 💖
Me too, 55 and being diagnosed. Big hug from Barcelona!!! 🥰😭
Congrats! I got mine a year ago at 54.
Me too at age 54. It's been life changing for me 🙂
@@bronwynlennox1240 In a good way? I think It will help me not be so hard on myself.
I really liked that video. I watched it last week, as a preparation for my own assessment that’s starting next week. I’m 34. Thank you for making that video, and this one too.
I hope your assessment went well! ❤ I have one myself, next month. This video and the previous are super reassuring ❤️
I watched your other video and I’m 61 years old. So I’m not that accustomed to commenting on videos. But here I am. My adult children are both being diagnosed with autism and my youngest shared the unmasking autism book with me. I saw so many parallels for myself and my parents that really had me wonder if I am on the spectrum. So I asked my therapist. She works with a lot of parents of autistic children and also adults on the spectrum. She gave me a questionnaire. I filled it out. Told her my score. And she recommended I follow through with getting a diagnosis. I also wonder…why do I need a diagnosis at this point in my life? I agree with you-confirmation. Learning more about myself. Another piece of the puzzle who am I? You are adorable. Easy to listen to and very helpful. You showing the process of diagnosis as you went through it was eye opening even though I’ve been walking this with my two adult kids. Very helpful. Keep going. We can relate to you. Clearly. Keep being your awesome self. Yes please on how to use fidget toys. I have some that my oldest makes (crochets them) and they are nice. Curious about when and why to use them. Love all the other tips you share. Seems like a process of identifying what feels good and what we need. How to unmask and feel safe doing it. Thank you again for showing us your real self.
I'm realizing that crocheting itself seems to help me, and I wonder how many of our grandmothers and aunties were autistic before there was even a word for it. ♥
Lololol your exasperation with the medical system cracked me up at ~3:15. I do that exact same gesture and my hubby and I both recognized me in that moment when I'm expressing my frustration with things lol ❤🎉🎉😂 Very relatable. I self-dx'd with multiple tests at 51, 6 years ago, and it was the one MISSING PIECE that counseling, education, hard work, books, etc had never filled-in for me. Suddenly a million things I never understood before made sense. I use one ear plug at a time to reduce noise but not shut out the world. Absolutely LOVE my weighted blanket, I fall asleep really quickly now, even with PTSD. I have oodles of fidgets, but I also really love rocks and usually have some I'm either wearing or have stuffed in my pocket, and I'm knitting or crocheting or stitching endlessly bc I've always done that- and didn't know it was a fidget, but it totally calms me and helps me with social anxiety, etc. I love my eye cover mask at night, except I put it over my ear for crinkley white noise and it's great. Also purring and floofy cats are really soothing. Etc etc etc. It's a discovery process. Finally understanding that I'm just wired a bit uniquely and being able to learn to let go of some of my impossible expectations for things I really struggle with and will never be good at, and celebrating my strengths instead has really been helpful. I have 2 brothers on the spectrum, 1 formally diagnosed and 1 in denial lol. In the process of trying to learn more about my brother I found videos about "what it's like to be a female on the spectrum"... after a number of videos and saying things like, "She CAN'T be autistic, I do the same thing"... ummmm, it dawned on me that maybe I was autistic and she was toooooo lolol What a relief to finally find my tribe, as they say. I'm exactly the same as I always was, but now able to see myself with more compassion and humor and able to advocate better for myself and others. 🎉🎉🎉 Mermaids, and unicorns, and monkeys!! 🎉🎉🎉❤ Was thinking of starting an online channel for crafting with ASD and ADHD or a little online shop, but would need help to get it set up I think. Anyways, very happy to find your channel, there are a ton of us who were not diagnosed bc females with verbal ability and normal to above-average IQ were overlooked and just called "shy" or "socially awkward" 50 years ago. But today's a new day, and "different" does NOT mean "less". It means mermaids, and unicorns, and monkeys 🎉❤ woohooooo
As someone who is in the process of getting diagnosed in my young adulthood your video was incredibly relatable and validating. I’d love to see how you’ve made more accommodations for yourself in your daily life as someone who’s currently trying to navigate it and heal/evolve as a person as well. On behalf of the rest of tistic community thank you❣️❣️
It’s just incredible that we have to essentially ask permission just to be who we are… And while I hold no hostility to Neurotypicals in general, It does make me angry that they gatekeep … not really happiness, but the sense of self-worth, because if you are different than everyone else, then you don’t deserve to feel worthy. As a 52-year-old man that is just now discovering that I am autistic, I know I have a long road ahead of me and a lot of hard work to do, Just to get some medical professional to tell me what I already know about myself. It seems just ridiculous. Courtney I want to thank you for making the videos the way you do. I only just found your original diagnosis video a couple of days ago and I’m glad to hear that you are going to be making more autistic based content. I really appreciate your no bullshit approach, and this is the kind of content that I need to maintain the strength to go forward with the diagnostic process… so thank you so much for your bravery.
It's wonderful seeing you again. Making videos about what's important to you. You're a refreshing KZheadr!
Thank you so much! 💖
I loved your video! I cried with you, I realized I had the 'tism as me and my neurodivergent friends call it. I'm sorry it almost mess up your life! I didn't feel so alone when you posted it. ❤ we finally have a bit manual! I still have family that attempt to make me feel bad for my symptoms. I just try to keep swimming.
Really good comment. And I cried with her too.
Totally agree on the sensory swings thing. I'll move out soon and my father gifted me a hammock chair for my balcony. I've always loved swings and hanging chairs, since the movement really helps me relax 👌🏻 I actually have an entire room at my new place which I dedicated to all of my art, stories, mangas, comics, books, anime figures and posters. Whenever I step into that room, I am instantly happy, being surrounded by all of my interests, all my hyperfixations and all the things that make me truly happy 💖 I really like videos like these, because they help me to understand myself a little better. I've suspected I might be somewhere on the autistic spectrum for some time now (even thought my father said I "don't look autistic" and that he couldn't possibly imagine that -_-) and if my informal interview with a therapist goes well next week, I might be able to start a therapy where I can sort out my suspected autism, among other things. Thank you so much for being so informative and letting us get a glimpse of what life with autism is like for you.
Thank you so so much for this video! 30 minutes of recording and you gave us 24 of them. This feels so much less curated and edited and feels so much more open and real. And yes please, give us a fidget toy video! I tend to use one a few times, and then discard it and buy a new one, even though I love the "current" one dearly and appreciate what it does. I especially love that rubbery one you mentioned to help with flappy hands, what in the world was that?! 💙
"that" video and this one are wonderful. I'm newly diagnosed at 34, so everything is still brand new, confusing, disheartening, and exciting all at once. I find you very inspirational, especially in this video. I love the personality you put on display here, and anyone trying to put you down for it must be very small minded. Subscribed, and hoping for more 😊
Thank you for being "random". Stream of consciousness is (sometimes) awesome. Thanks for being blunt and honest with us. Even those of us that aren't Autistic can appreciate it....looking forward to you next one.....
Thank you so much for saying so and for watching! ❤️
We the neuro-divergent need all the allies we can get! You can help by advocating for us. And by educating yourself, you can help us by providing some form of safe space or safe bubble for us.
I'm almost 45, was diagnosed (officially) ADHD at 44, and am still wrapping my head around (for the last few months) a self-ID as ASC (but DAMN does it fit). I just found you yesterday through your diagnosis video and was so touched and could identify so completely with the sheer relief and joy you clearly felt. Thank you for sharing that. I'm glad we both found our Tribe. 😃
❤ Jag är 42 år och väntar på min utredning. Tack för att du berättar, allt detta. Det hjälper mig hitta mig själv! ❤
I'm 21 and I've been questioning for YEARS whether I have autism/ADHD/something and honestly this and the diagnosis video (which btw made me cry :') I felt understood and I also understood your frustration that no one noticed till you found the video on KZhead, it is an emotion I'm also experiencing) gave me a huge insight and further reason to seek a proper diagnosis. People also ask me why I want to go for a diagnosis and my answer is that I want to get to know myself better! Some of my friends have autism, ADHD or both and they ALL told me that I should get tested so that's another alarm, but I tend to put myself down and think that I'm just faking it all :( But your videos have helped me a low ❤️ Thank you!
Thank you so much for letting me know that I've helped! That means a lot! 💖
We need a diagnoses because we know something is up but not exactly sure what it is. The diagnoses helps us put a label on it and then find resources to help better ourselves
I got the diagnosis FOR ME. Your last video popped up on my feed just a few days after I received my diagnosis of Autism at 38 (39 in April.) I had recently transitioned to a new psych doctor, and she had concerns with my BP + presumptive ADHD diagnosis given the contraindications with their medications. So my referral was to clarify BP vs ADHD. Didn’t completely rule out BP, but the neuropsych dr was highly skeptical it is an organic issue for me. He did say that my manic episode after a dosage increase (literally the only time i can say mania happened, even hypomania is a major major stretch and i would have to be HIGHLY rapid cycling for that to work) is something that tends to happen a lot with autistic people. But anyway, I brought up the autism possibility on my pre-evaluation questionnaire and in my initial interview. I literally wrote 22pages of things that I have noticed throughout my life that made me consider “is this autistic?” With examples from my childhood up until now. I have ALWAYS felt like an alien outcast. From the time i could remember in pre-school until now. I didn’t NEED the diagnosis for services-because lets face it its absolute shit, especially for people that are late-diagnosis and classified under Level One (which i disagree with for me.) I got the diagnosis FOR ME. I needed to know. I self-identified as autistic, but i needed validation for it. Imposter syndrome is real, and it really messes with your head. People that aren’t autistic do not research for HOURS each and every day for YEARS, spend time in autistic led spaces (KZhead channel, fb groups, etc.) That just DOES NOT happen. They may think about it for a few minutes, then go Nah, and go back to their life. My husband brought up him possibly being autistic, and honestly I don’t see it. I do think he fits the NDA profile, and possibly inattentive ADHD, but I don’t get autism from him at all. Of course, I’m not going to going to say that unless he flat out asks me-im not going to invalidate him if he thinks that, that’s on him. I don’t know what he does all in his spare time. I don’t know what he is thinking, i don’t know how much time he’s spent researching. I just don’t get that vibe from him. I do absolutely believe he is ND with a high propensity introvert is, but again it’s not my job and duty to discount what he may or may not believe.
I received a diagnosis last October at 57. I pretty much knew beforehand but I am so fed up of being told to pull myself together or get a grip due to my multitude of health issues which relate to autism. I can now tell people why I am not feeling well or being anxious or stress is real and not my imagination.
Thanks again, Courtney. I'm looking forward to learning how to use fidget toys and all the things. I'm here for it. Great to see your enthusiasm to share.
Thank you so much being on this journey with me! 💖
Thank you for all you do! You give me so much hope. I’ve made it to 73 using masking. I quite literally made versions of myself to survive. As I’ve grown wiser (ie: older), I can no longer do it. It’s simply too exhausting. I’ve completed several of the tests which show I’m on the spectrum but somehow think I have to retake them cause maybe I’m just an imposter and didn’t answer questions correctly. I know; kind of sad but true. I’m in the investigation phase right now - finding my true self. Thanks for making it easier for me to find the courage to pursue it. So many people think it’s impossible for a 73 year old like me to have an autistic diagnosis. Thank you for seeing us.
Masking does seem to get harder the older I get. And the more I accept my Tism and me self, the less I want to mask.connecting to others in our community really helps.
Do whatever is best for you. Masking is tiring and can be overwhelming all by itself.
I watched your video yesterday - and I body sobbed with you. Thank you for your vulnerability. I have been on the wait list for an autism diagnosis for 2 years. I re-took all the quizzes last night because your binder of stuff inspired me to get organised. It's probably still another year away, but I will get it eventually and I can finally get that validation. I'm kind of embarrassed that I do feel the need to have it 'official', but c'est la vie. Thanks again!
I was diagnosed 11 years ago but it's not until I hit an autistic burnout about a year and a half ago at 33 that I actually started getting to know myself without the mask. Thanks for these two videos in adding some perspective to how it's like for you to live autistic, it adds some validity to what I've been going through.
Hi Courtney, I'm a Dyslexic AuDHD myself. Dyslexia & ADD diagnosed in 3rd grade & ASD recently at 47 years old. Love the video, 16:16 giving us a hard time for ASD might be "a them problem" however when the people are close family members it really makes daily life hell. I struggle watching & interacting with live content because my mind will jump topics & I have to rewind a bit, combine this with Dyslexia & the topic moves on before I can compose & post a comment.
I get what you say. Growing up in a socially conservative community with a pervasive religious influence into all aspects of daily life, that demanded absolute conformance to the “norm” as well as obedience to “authority”, was a traumatizing hell for me. I discovered ADHD at age 30. Though I was denied a formal diagnosis because of the ignorance of the healthcare providers. First they did not know about it, and then they insisted that it just disappears after you hit your mid teens. But it was a geriatric specialist who finally confirmed the diagnosis around age 45 empirically through careful trial and error of medication. At the same time I have started to suspect a light form of dyslexia. And with a limited gene-pool over more than three centuries, there are more than a few cases of dyslexia in my family. At 42 I discovered anxiety/panic disorder and PTSD. Again I have been unable to obtain a “formal” diagnosis. And now at almost 54 I am a good year into the discovery of the autism spectrum. Given the availability (or lack thereof) of mental health caregivers, I do not know when I will be able to obtain a formal assessment of my issues. Add in chronic depression, that was mentioned for the first time when I was 11, and I really start to wonder how I have been able to survive.
loved this video ^^ didn't like how your other video made things hard for you :( but I loved the face you made when you looked into the fidgettoy box XD Lately I have been allowing myself some of that excitement when going to supermarkets with my partner when going through toys and also fidgettoys and it's so pleasant when you can "just be" Also, on my journey to self accommodation, I have got everything you mentioned minus the creams (I have them but i hate the feeling of creams on my skin) especially since, while I am in the process of hopefully getting diagnosed, I don't have much hope that I will actually be diagnosed with autism, because of everything else that's going on with me :/ I really wished diagnostic criteria would stop being so extremely external and actually involve how we are internally...cause that seems alot more clearer to distinguish from other possibilities.
Thank you! I am now starting my diagnosis journey. For me, it has been eye opening doing research now for years and analyzing my life up until now. I hope that the diagnosis process will be healing for me no matter what the outcome is. I also hope it will help others to understand me and hopefully do research of their own about it. Although, I understand now that research isn't something NT's do for hours and hours and days and weeks and months and years like me, so I might still have to help them understand. But they may listen and accept me for who I am with a diagnosis of some sort rather than being ignored as I am now.
"Don't give up . . . even if you have to keep it to yourself." 😭💜💜💜🧜♀♾
Thank you so much for sharing these videos....I am 62 (diagnosed as Autistic last year, at 61) and trying to unmask and assess/understand the damage that 6 decades of being undiagnosed has done isn't easy....the disappointment of other peooles reactions is also hard and the lack of understanding and support has been shocking. I now understand that we have to advocate for ourselves, set our own boundaries and protect ourselves (nobody else is going to do it for us) .... Your videos help more than you can know, thank you for your bravery and honesty 🌈
OMG when you were talking about fidgets I wasn't really feeling it. Thinking back to my childhood slinky and how I loved letting it move through my hands, how touching smooth rocks turns me on and wondering if those things even qualified as fidgets. Yes, second guessing myself is my superpower. 😉 Then you mentioned how even your wedding ring is a fidget and I burst into tears! While my husband and I still live together, we stopped wearing our wedding rings about a year ago and I can't tell you how much I miss that damn ring! FYI I'm 70 and undiagnosed. Really grateful for the way you are putting yourself out there about all this. I relate to SO much of it! I have watched the video about your diagnosis and I'm still on the fence about whether or not to put myself through it, so thank you for everything, and I'm so sorry about the backlash. WTF is that about anyway? I love the way you are all over the place and keep inserting bits of explanation and clarification. I love your passionate intensity about claiming your own space and "Damn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead!" This is who I am. Take it or leave it." You go girl! You are simply a breath of fresh air!
Omg I love you 😂 I'm so glad I found you!! You and Morgan Foley are my favorite KZheadrs now❤❤ As soon as you said this will be your content going forward, I subscribed😊 I'm 33 and FINALLY just got diagnosed with ADHD but my doctor thinks I may be autistic as well, so we're working on getting me evaluated
Hey! Of course you're not the only one, but you were part of my journey that lead me to get a diagnosis! Thanks!!
I was obsessed with mermaids a few years ago, you're channel was one of my favorites. I've been looking into getting an autism diagnoses and I just think it's so cool that you're sharing your autism diagnosis journey. I know that these videos really would have helped me those years ago, that's why it can be so important for people to speak so openly about being neurodivergent. Also your tails are literally amazing :)
Thank you so much! 💖
I absolutely love how excited you are to share all this. Its obvious the diagnosis has been overall good. Happy to see it. Never tried weighted blankets. I get overheated too easily. Even here in cold rainy England. I did however back a Kickstarter that made weighted plushies last year. Waiting on them to come through. For noise cancelling headphones. I've used these things called Loop Earplugs. That way I can still hear my surroundings for safety reasons, but the overall impact of the sound is greatly reduced. I've tried fidgets, most of them don't do much for me. But my head is more of a fidget than anything. I'm stuck in there constantly lol. Though I do like the Tangle Jr. Its simple, small & doesn't make noise. I'll shove it in my pocket from time to time. I've fidgeted with beaded bracelets a lot over the years, so that's probably why that one appeals to me. What I love about watching videos about other autistics is how much we all ramble. Constantly correcting ourselves in semantic ways & going off into different directions. Its so damn validating. I'm looking forward to seeing what other videos you make on the topic going forward. I really have to watch some of your mermaid stuff also. The idea of swimming around dressed as one is really cool. Appeals to my love of fantasy & nature. All the best.....& sorry for so much text lol.
Thank you for putting yourself out there and help me with your story. I’m 45 and suffered for so long and now I’m my true self but I still need other autistic people to help me navigate through this
Thank you for sharing your journey with us Courtney. I'll be looking forward to the fidget toys video and how to accommodate yourself as a business owner! How you got started and managed all the ins and outs of websites and customers and sales and all the little things that most people brush over, how you allocate time too is all stuff I'm insanely curious about!
Yes, we've found you and happy you're here! The "randomness" is totally okay and relatable (I know it's how my brain works, I totally followed, and didn't realize you were jumping subjects until you mentioned it, haha... it all tied in together, so it was natural imho). Fidget/Stim toys... I've never been interested and tend to use games/apps on my phone for this. But as you were going through your box, I remembered that I used to have this wooden flexible snake thing that was probably one of my fidget/stim things. So after pausing your video and looking for it, I don't seem to have it anymore... soooo, I guess I'll have to buy a box of 24 of them on Amazon as that seems to be the closest option (many of the offerings were unfinished and the feel of the finished polish was one of the highlights of it along with the weight and sway).
For the people that don’t understand or like your content l, then they can just find something else. Last time I checked it’s just the viewer’s choice. Mermaids United!
Thank you! YES! 💖
First and foremost: THANK YOU Courtney! Thank you for making yourself vulnerable and sharing your struggles and coping strategies. That really helps others with similar struggles to find their own coping strategies. I found your channel because of the mermaid content, but it is the slice-of-life and the autism content that has made me stay. And yes this video was kind of chaotic, but it was my kind of chaotic and it captivated me. I like your idea of “How to use a fidget toy” video. Especially if could make it into a mini-series with only three to maximum five fidgets per episode. That would allow you to expand on the how-to aspect, as well as the potential benefits. And shorter episodes make it easier for us neurodivergent people to stay focused. For myself, I find under 15 minutes to be ideal. Even when watching a movie more often than not I have to pause every 15-20 minutes for a 5 minute break in order to re-focus. Another video idea could be to inventory one of your “care baskets” and explain the reasons and benefits for your self-care of each item you got in there. You shared some tips on how you cope with your own struggles. Just as you also shared your exasperation regarding the question: “Why would you want a diagnosis of autism?” Please allow me to share some of my own answers and reasonings to that self-same question: “Why would *I* want a diagnosis of autism/ADHD/anxiety/paranoia/neuro-divergence for myself?” And hopefully someone in this here small community can glean a small benefit in some shape, size or form. I have several reasons for wanting a diagnosis, just as I have some analogies to illustrate those reasons. So in no particular order here they are: → Safety: “Why would you want a diagnosis for nearsightedness?” “So that you can get some corrective glasses before you kill yourself and/or others with your car!” The same principle applies for mental dispositions. Without some kind of help the effort to mask as “normie” can and will lead to an eventual break-down that could pose a serious mental and/or physical safety hazard. Sometimes all you need is awareness, sometimes some medication can help or be useful, and sometimes avoidance is the name of the game. For example, I need to avoid any accounting or bookkeeping type of job. → Awareness: Knowing *and* understanding why I have the reaction I have in a given situation is a HUGE stress reliever and almost half the battle won right there. It is the difference between “I *am* the problem” and “I *have* a problem”. The former is destructive and self-defeating, while the latter can be empowering in the search for a solution, work-around or coping mechanism. → Guidance: This is closely related to the previous reasons. We neuro-divergent, as that name suggests, are different from the “normies” with our own unique set of abilities, strengths and weaknesses. So we need to find our place in society where we can excel instead of being absolutely shredded and ground up into tini-tiny pieces and put away into some kind of asylum as a useless burden to society. Sometimes it is the type of job, other times it is the physical work environment, or maybe it is more frequent breaks or even less hours. It all depends on the specific combination of traits and mental dispositions. → Coping mechanisms: Again closely related to the previous reasons. And it also very much depends on the specific combination of traits and dispositions of each individual. I am still traumatized by my school experience in the 1970s and 1980s, where we would get scolded regularly and sometimes even hit with a switch if we did not sit perfectly still with our hands crossed on the desk in class. It was hell for me, and I did not know why! But I *was* the problem in class. And I also had a very hard time holding down a regular job, until I learned about neuro-divergence, starting with ADHD, then came PTSD and anxiety/panic, and now I am discovering the autism spectrum. Each step was a relief, because it gave me an explanation as to why I tick the way I tick and helped me to find and develop coping mechanisms to deal with situations of my daily life. And as I found explanations for some of my issues/struggles, I also discovered that there were other issues that still lacked an explanation. → Helping resources: Depending on your location there might be helping resources available to those with a formal diagnosis. These resources can range from counseling, specialized training for employers/schools/healthcare/etc., coaching, mentoring all the way to medication. Some resources could be available through your health insurance, while others through social services or other service providers.
This is one of my fav videos right now! I love your random! I'm new to this stuff, 2 yrs in, self-diagnosed and wishing I could send you a long (!) email of all my thoughts. Lacking that, yes, please make a video of how you use fidget toys, esp when you need to be discreet or soundless (like in quiet spaces), do you "proactively" stim (like to help relax you before something big), do you have anyone to stim with, how (what words do you use?) to ask for the accommodations you need in social spaces where you're sure people won't understand if you just say you're Autistic, what did you determine about your support needs after initially thinking you didn't need that much (this is what I'm thinking for myself now alongside possible "internalized ableism"), and did you need to (how did you handle if so) feel through imposter syndrome at all? Until you have new content, I'll be watching your current videos on repeat. (I hope that doesn't sound impatient or threatening - your energy just lifts me up!) Thx for having the courage, taking the risk, and being such a good role model!
I got my diagnosis last week. I felt I was in the room with you in the Moment of Truth portion of the video. I cannot relate any more than I am right now. Having found your video that is seemingly climbing the algorithm I just wanted to let you know that I found your journey very validating. To see and hear that others have gone through what I have, that I'm not just WeIrD and QuiRkY. There is an explanation, and an adjective I can now use when communicating my needs....whatever those are... I'm still figuring that out. I have been stumbled through life for the last 30 years. I believe it will be a long process to pick away the mask and allow myself to be...myself. So thank you so much! I also like to use a broken leg analogy when I'm asked "why do yuo want a diagnoses". Funnily enouigh, this was something I somewhat relate to as a few years ago I severely torn a ligament in my leg, which mean I needed survey and be non-weightbearing for a couple months. Anyway, just because someone is limping around, possibly using crutches, it does not mean they are coasting through life just fine. They are struggling just to even walk, but they have to make do. If there was a resource to help that person understand what is wrong with their leg so we can then look into helping them fix it. Why wouldn't you? Why do you need to get your leg looked at my the doctor? You've been fine this whole time?!1 That doesn't make sense, does it? I find a sense in irony that the allistic people who ask autistic people, why they want a diagnosis, see life as a black-and-white, you're fine or you're not.
I cried watching your assessment video, thank you so much for making it, and for this video too. I would absolutely love a video about fidget toys and how to accommodate your environment. I just discovered your channel today, but I definitely plan on watching your next videos!
I’ve been deep diving into ADHD and ASD for well over a year now and am starting the process for diagnosis for myself and my children next week. I found your first ASD related video last week and immediately saved it and have referred back to it a couple of times as I prepare myself for this process. I just want to tell you I think you are incredibly brave and wonderful as well as very inspiring. I would love to know more about the accommodations you have set up for yourself (especially around routines, organization, schedules, energy, self care) as well as how your journey has been since your first ASD video. Thank you for your insights and honesty! You are amazing!
I have those exact headphones!! Saved my frickin existence is an understatement!! I could watch you talk about autism for hours I absolutely am loving this content!!
Thank you - love that so much. You make some of us be seen and that doesn't happen that often but is so needed. ❤
You are BRILLIANT!! I have just come across your video and the previous two that you are talking about, and it is beautiful to witness the clarity and passion and self-authority-claiming that you express in this video. It is Super inspiring! I just... really applaud your courage and strength and honesty :) ... i am 41 and have been getting pointers in the last year that I may be autistic, and the last few days just started diving into videos of people's personal experiences and seeing a lot that I relate to (and a fair bit that i do not). I am super curious to hear more about the experience of masking and unmasking and what that has felt like for you. Thank you so much for sharing :) lots of love from New Zealand
I’m not diagnosed yet but…I know. I’ve been following your channel for a couple years now and this was a delight to watch Courtney. It felt so very authentic and genuine, not to mention relatable lol I watched that video so fast when you posted it cause I already knew it about myself. I’m so glad it’s blown up like it has and kept you around cause I’d definitely miss seeing your videos if you left ( though I definitely understand the inclination to leave)
I cannot tell you how much your videos on this subject have meant to me over the past several weeks. Thank you for posting about this! Truly ❤
I just found your chanel today and I have found myself questioning myself and looking into a diagnosis for myself. Keep up the great work answering your own questions
People around me ask why i want to find diagnoses so much, and I'm like "I WANNA KNOW WHATS WRONG WITH MEEE"
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I just cried along with you while watching the diagnosis video and I really appreciate you sharing the whole journey and links. I’m in the process and watching your videos are helping me mentally prepare for the official assessment. Thanks again please keep sharing!! ❤️
Hi, i just found your original video today and am watching the follow up today. I was diagnosed with Asperges aged 40 and really connected with your reaction when you finally got your diagnosis. Good on you for sharing your experience. I completely understand you wanting to get a diagnosis to be able to understand yourself better. I had the same feelings of understanding lots of moments from my earlier life. I think we have shared many experiences throughout this journey. Andy up and be proud. Well done from the UK.
Thank you for this video and that other video about your autism assessment. I had just finished my Autism assessment the day I found that first video and it really helped me see how valid my feelings during this process are. I get my results at the end of this month on what will be my 24th birthday after researching Autism since I was 15. I’m hoping to receive the diagnosis but in the meantime I’m just trying to allow myself to take up space and accommodate myself even though others don’t always understand. Looking forward to seeing more content from you.
Oh my god, I love your energy! Getting fidgets and a hammock changed the game for me, even before my diagnosis. We know ourselves best. Like you said, we’ve got to do what it takes to make ourselves comfortable with the life we have.
I love the way you express yourself ❤ you crack me up and I really enjoy your vibe. Thank you 😊
I literally ran across your original video today for the first time and can’t wait for more content from you about autism. ❤
Thank you so much for watching! 💖
Your assessment video actually resonated with me quite a lot, being one of the times when I genuinely started crying over this topic. Not for a bad reason, on the contrary. For being heard, for relating to something so much, and for feeling the same pain you described. I plan on seeking out a diagnosis to understand whether I am autistic or not, and to answer the question of "why get one", it's quite simple: Personally, I want to find the reason why my life has been so upside down, I want to validate my feelings and connect them to something that many other people experience. I'm tired of thinking that I'm just a lazy, uneducated and "weird" individual. I want to know myself, and I want to know what I'm going through I have a playlist with over 300+ videos about autism and ADHD, and I relate to each one of them. Ever since I started researching on these two topics, I discovered that all of these describe my life and experience so precisely. They're such specific things that I thought nobody else experienced. But now I know Don't stop making videos for the sake of people that spread negativity. Of course, unless it impacts your mental health that is. But otherwise, I think more people need to hear the message, hear more about this topic, spread information and educate. It's such a taboo topic for many, and unfortunately, isn't something people take the time to educate themselves on. It's been quite hard to find information on this topic from autistic individuals themselves. It really matters to hear their voices, and their experience
Watched these two videos the week before my assessment, gaining some confidence in moving forward through you sharing your experience.
I love this video so much! I'm on the precipice of a potential diagnosis & my debrief is happening this week. Your opening line is comforting to me, as I'm worried about what the old-school practitioner I'm seeing is going to say. I've spent the past 2+ years heavily researching the topic after my kiddo was diagnosed & I've related to so much of what other content creators, who were late diagnosed, share. 💛
I am 59 and a year into the diagnostic process here in Ontario. Still waiting for my final interview. I did just see your video on your diagnosis, and the emotion you share speaks to my experience. I burst into tears as soon as you got the answer... I think I'll react that way when my turn comes. Also, what you say about the mermaid stuff overlapping the autistic stuff... oh ya! Love it! And would love a video on fidget toys. Thank you for sharing.❤
I love this video, and I live that you’ll make more content about autism going forward😍✨ Also, a «how to fidget» video would be really helpful!😍
I came across your video of finding out and I followed it with this video. My 24 yr has been struggling and I was struggling to understand. Thank you so much for your honesty. I am trying to figure out how to be more supportive. BC honestly I didn't know how. Didn't understand and how some of the questions you had heard before.
It was a very helpful video. You are amazing, and thanks for this one. I was diagnosed last year at 47, female, I relate so much. It has been very freeing ❤💪
Not related to autism but your thoughts about your struggles related to people being skeptical about your experience and overall being mean and judging that benefits no one but their scared hearts....these thoughts are not only relatable but also makes me grin gleefully! It just hit right at the feels. Not only that but your beliefs about discovering yourself and finding the things that make you feel content and satisfied with life and yourself is something I personally believe in as well.
I just subscribed to your channel. Number one, I’m a mermaid too! Go, merfolk! But also I love an autistic person. And we didn’t understand he was autistic until we made another person who was a lot like him in so many ways, and had challenges we have been helping her through. My daughter is very “gifted,” and is autistic and has ADHD. It’s been a challenge loving her and supporting her, but also very rewarding. When she was first diagnosed I struggled with letting her teachers know about her diagnosis, but what I have come to realize is that the label of "autism" helps people understand the person better. i wish my husband had the support we found for my daughter growing up, but we can only know what we know, i guess. thank you for making your videos, and mermaid on!
i sincerely don't understand why people question us wanting a diagnosis and wanting to figure ourselves out. i feel exactly the same way as you do - why is it wrong of us to want to finally learn the truth about ourselves? i get the results of my assessment next week and i've been going thru a roller coaster of emotions. while i've been more accepting of myself, i'm afraid that when (if?) i get diagnosed it's gonna hit me again and i'll react just like you did... thank you for being so open and honest about this. also i love your personality - you're so fun to listen to!
Is it strange that I feel like I've been masking so long that I don't know what - my - needs are or where to begin accomodating myself? I'm so new to the idea of taking care of myself rather than making everyone else comfortable instead. I found you through your diagnosis video tonight and immediately watched this video afterwords. This video hit home hard. I have, for a long time, wondered if I am autistic. Like you, my people pleaser...."broke" and I don't want to turn back. I also LOVE creatures of myth and legend. I tie them into every single one of my special interests. Im tired of people going "you know the difference between fantasy and reality, right?" Yes...yes I do know the difference, can I not enjoy a bit of pretend now and again with my cosplays, or write a story? We call pretend pretend for a reason! Just...thank you, so much for these videos. For validating my experiences through showing us yours. I've never felt so heard before when it comes to my special interests . In my heart, I'm still the little girl who climbed up on a rock at the beach, wearing green overalls so she could pretend to be Ariel. As an adult, I don't want to throw that magical feeling of imagination away just because others feel that my free time should be spent doing something that pleases them. I want to use it to fule my creativity and art. Its just...hard to learn to let yourself....BE. To let yourself exist as what you are, rather than what others wish to mold you to be.
Every single thing you've said here?? 1000%!!! I commented on the other video recently (under a different username I believe) feeling kinda hopeless but this video really sealed the deal for me lmaoooo I have the creepy clacky kodama worms (mine glow in the dark!), I have and cannot sleep without the weighted blanket. I have buckets of flavored lip balm... Etc etc... but I still am scared to face the reality, I guess? It's just neat to see someone with so much in common come to the same conclusion. As for people asking why you need the dx? I can only surmise that they think in getting a diagnosis that you are being *given* the autism?? That or they are insinuating you are cheating the system to get special treatment?? I have no clue. But that sucks. Either way, thanks again for your vulnerability. I look forward to seeing more of your content and getting to know about your job and interests!
I'm so happy to have "found you"! Thank you, again, for being so open in sharing your journey of self-discovery and, in so doing, illuminating the path for those of us on that same journey. I look forward to your future videos!
I needed this today. I needed the reminder that I’m able to take up space. I love you too as you’re so inspiring.
Tonight, I've been on a journey through your autism videos lol. I've made comments on the others leading up to now, but I just want to say here I feel like I can sense you being so much lighter in this video. I really like this newer you even though it's very new to me. You say what I'm thinking and I honestly feel like you are the female version of myself. It's crazy. Much love!
I freaking love you. Your vibe. Your energy. Everything about you! I just self diagnosed and we are so similar! I will be talking to the therapist about it soon. Looking into testing. I told one of my family members and they invalided my experience. They asked me how I knew I was on the spectrum if I didn't have a diagnosis. I asked her a question I heard from another person that self diagnosed. Who wants to be Autistic that is not Autistic? I don't need a "professional" to tell me who I am and what my experience is. I do however have to have PROOF of my experience in order to get specific accommodations and help with basic shit everyone else can do so effortlessly. I am still masking because it doesn't feel safe not too.
Parent of a 15 yo daughter I am desperately trying to get tested and watching your videos helped me want to push on. I feel like we are slipping through the cracks even though I keep bugging people. So keep up the good work!!
You're authentic, and you're funny, and you make me feel good about myself. So thank you. I really enjoy your videos.
That means a lot to me, thank you! 🫂
I appreciate hearing authentic people sharing authentically. You seem super rad. Keep being yourself; you make this world more beautiful.
You do seem different in this video compared the diagnosis video. I think you’re more comfortable in your own skin and unmasking for us. Love it
Im 1:41 in and I HAVE TO TELL YOU I am so happy and grateful You DID the video about your diagnosis. It was SO important for me - everything you said and did, the way you were - genuine and real, anxious and happy... All of it resonated with me/in me on such a deep level I was then in the - nerve wrecking - process of my own diagnosis and it helped to not be the only freaking out freak there is... And on top of that, I asked my husband to watch your video, he did and said "Oh, Ok, now I get what is happening with you" - and this was so super important for both of us - him understanding more. So LUV LUV LUV Courtney Mermaid
You would have so much to say about this video, thank you so much Courtney you’re my favourite fishie/mer person and favourite KZheadr! I loved the little parenthesis on fidget toys and the stimming/fidgeting! I also do fist shaking when I’m excited, Send you love from the other side of Canada!!! 💙💙💙💙💙💙
I have my very 1st appointment for an ASD assessment tomorrow. I’m 37 years old! Then I have 3 more appointments! I literally just want answers. Why else would I pay $175/hr out of pocket? I’ll be honest. I’m TERRIFIED. However, I know that once I have answers I’ll be able to discover me. Probably for the first time, and I’ll be able to learn how to accept myself no matter the outcome. Thank you for the video
I love this video and how dense it is with information! However, I am so happy I know about my PDA, because whenever you say "you need to", I have a little tiny trigger response :D
I would love a video on the different fidget toys I have my own favourites and always interested in seeing what others find helpful. My personal favourites are marbles, things that click, or things that twist (like the rubiks cube). People who can't relate to needing to have a name to something will never understand. A lot of people like labels as they provide a window to understanding, even if it is small. The word is a powerful thing and sometimes that one word can be the key to the door of freedom.
Thank you so much for sharing your precious experience.
Im only 2 minutes into this, but it breaks me to hear you say that video destroyed your life. I found out last weekend that my daughter is autistic. Throughout the procoess of getting her diagnosis I noticed many similarities betweeen her and I and am currently waiting for my evaluation. Ive done nothing but binge your autism videos since putting my girls to bed and i cant even begin to explain how much of this i can relate to. Im very thankful you put yourself out there and were so open about your process. Even if my assessment doesnt come back with an autism diagnosis, it helps me understand my daughter more. so thank you ❤
I just want to also highlight how helpful these videos have been for people who are not autistic. I have an adult friend who was diagnosed last year, and I believe your videos helped me be a more supportive friend in that time. Likewise, my workplace has been working to become a certified autism center, and your videos were very helpful to have seen before the trainings we had to do. Thank you again for all that you do!
Knowing that I’ve helped you become a more supportive friend means the absolute world to me and I want to thank you so much for taking the time to watch my videos and for commenting to let me know! 💖
Thank you for speaking on this!
Hearing you say how devastating to your life that video was made me feel compelled to say: that video helped me *so* much. I was diagnosed about a month after watching it, just shy of my 30th birthday, and your video was so validating, informative, and supporting to me. So thank you for making it.
p.s. absolutely yes please to the massive autism masterlist video of how to use fidgets and how you accommodate yourself and maybe how to stim? because like late dx often means you've learnt to suppress stims but now you know you need them to regulate and it's a whole thing
Yes Ma'am. I love that you said you actually have the right to be you and take up your own space in your own life! I have never been diagnosed or thought I might be Autistic but I get having my own quirks and people thinking I'm weird because of it. So what! My chapstick obsession is my own. My irritation with repetitive noises is not that weird. My physical illness about certain lighting is something I cannot control.Ive enjoyed your videos and I get where you're coming from. 🧜♀💙
Thank you for sharing. I’m guessing the same people asking why you need a diagnosis are the same as those who have been asking what’s wrong with you for ages. You look amazing and happy. I love your hair. Shows off your bone structure beautifully.
This is so helpful. Thank you. ❤ I’d love to see a video about how to use fidget toys, and more detail on how you make accommodations in your everyday life. What would have helped you when you were younger and had less control over your environment? The ones you included here were terrific.
I found the video of your journey while i am going through my own. I'm currently waiting for the results from my psychologist. I'm scared, unsure, and generally pretty disregulated right now. I identified so much with your experience. The video clips you shared of yourself as a child could have been me. I have spent the last year testing out different accommodations like the fidgets and some things have really worked for me. Just because the tools work doesn't mean I 100% have ASD, but it's something. Why do i want a diagnosis? Because it's an answer. And i so desperately need an answer, it doesn't matter what the final results are. If it's BPD & PTSD, that's an answer. If it's ADHD, that's an answer. If it's ASD, that's an answer. If it's some combination thereof, that's an answer. That's why I am seeking a diagnosis. Edit to add: Why wouldn't someone want an answer?
Sitting here with my ADHD self listening to you while wearing my bose quiet comfort headphones, wrapped in an infinity pillow, with multiple fans pointed at me (im south of the equator), in an apartment where i have replaced every single lightbulb, looking at the rainbow fidget toy that lives in my purse next to my vaseline (vaseline and lotion everywhere i might be) thinking of the weighted blanket i left behind (too heavy actually) and the sunglasses i cannot live without. I think I'm probably just on the sensory sensitive side of adhd, but love this video and love seeing how far you've come since the last one. (Watching them side by side knowing theyre two years apart is wild). I'm curious about your journey from "low support needs" (i think that's the term you used!) to wherever you are now. Was there something in particular that changed your perspective, or was it a gradual coming out of your shell and actively identifying the things that help you and just realizing there were a lot of them...? Glad this vid blew up when it did, best of luck
I’ve watched your channel for years because mermaids are one my special interests. You have no idea how seen I have felt watching your diagnosis video.
That means the world to me to know. It was my hope in sharing my story. 🫂❤️
THE SHAKY FISTS!!! THATS WHAT I DO !! I've recently accepted the fact that I am (probably) autistic and I'm learning things about myself I thought were just "a me thing" or "I'm weird I just do that" like shaking my fists when an emotion is strong in me and it needs to cOME OUT
I would love to see a video about fidgets! I am definitely one of the people who struggles to figure them out haha 😂
I finally, finally, finally got my diagnosis this week after years of knowing it in my heart, and years of doctors and psychiatrists telling me I was silly for wanting to be evaluated. Getting my diagnosis was so powerful in helping me understand myself, and helping others to understand me as well. I finally know the right lens with which to view my difficulties. Having the language and words to describe our struggles is hugely empowering.
It is so important and so helpful! I'm so happy for you!
Thank you for making these videos I feel less alone for them. I’m lucky to have an autistic husband and one autistic son. Our son’s diagnosis led to ours rather informally. Basically as she told us our son is autistic she also said “ sometimes… sometimes, like now, autistic kids have autistic parents “ this is how she started the conversation to tell us that we too are autistic. We were diagnosed in the autism center attached to children’s hospital. Fidget toys, I use yarn, and uh my fingers. I love body brushes.
My new favorite accommodation is an address stamp for putting my return address on things! You don't have to be a business to buy one! I haaaaaate writing the same thing over and over, but I write cards to ppl. So, I just made it easier! Its ok to take shortcuts. It isnt a character flaw ❤
I would love to see a video on how to use the fidget toys! Thank you so much for this.
You made the video for people like us who are like you! Who are going on this SAME JOURNEY YOU ARE!!!!! This is and has been helping me!!!! Of course you are going to have those bullies!!!!!! Always gotta have negative ppl!! Thank you too for encouraging me and letting me feel im not alone.. ..... and my child also is worse then me so i Def feel like my journey will help my child.....
The first thing you said, that neurotypical dont go around wondering if they are autistic... I do wonder, but i'm not really sure about it. I'm 90% sure on ADHD, and waiting for my diagnosis appointment right now. But i still wonder about ASD mainly since my bff brought it up. I had thought about it before but later i just was like nah, it's probably just anxiety. But then my bff brought it up and now I'm like, "does she have a warped image of me, or do I?". She met a few ASD girls recently and learnt how ASD can look like for girls. I do have ASD traits, but i also have OCD and i've heard they can be similar. When I think about adult me, i'm really not sure, but when i think about my childhood, I never was included in groups, was bullied, had trouble learning to speak, I also had a problem that my adenoids were so big that my tongue didnt fit in my mouth so most people thought i was disabled until the age of 5 when they took them out. So i don't know if those problems were related to me looking disabled and therefore being rejected, or anything else
Diagnosed Level 1 at 41. Didn't think I was neurospicy but sure enough! My trauma therapist suggested we go through the process. So much makes so much sense now and going through my childhood memories was a mindf&^k. I like having headphones, I want weighted blankets and stuffies but they aren't heavy enough for me. I feel like I need to be crushed. I need Temple Grandin's squeeze machine but can't afford it, nor do I have the room. I often find myself trying to push/squeeze myself into a corner of the walls when distressed. Also need a pod bed or something. I used to crawl under the coffee table and fall asleep as a kid, and sometimes now I crawl under my desk. I do like fidget toys but have a hard time getting into the habit of using them as I am so accustomed to playing with my hair, squeezing my earlobe, biting my lips from trying to mask my whole life. So many people have either not reacted or reacted negatively to me announcing that I am actually autistic. Only 1 person has shown me positive acknowledgement and support and turns out she is autistic too. Why does it bother so many people that we are just differently programmed?