Master the Art of Influence + Communication (Become MAGNETIC) | Charles Duhigg
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Today, we are joined Charles Duhigg, a Pulitzer Prize-winning reporter and the brilliant mind behind 2 New York Times bestsellers, and his latest book "Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection". Charles has been a prominent voice in the fields of productivity and habit formation, sharing groundbreaking insights that have transformed countless lives.
In this episode, we'll delve into the captivating world of communication, exploring the secrets to unlocking the power of connection that lies within all of us.
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0:00 Intro
00:03:42 - The Importance of Connections and Conversation
00:07:21 - The Power of Super Communication
00:10:51 - The Importance of Being Understood
00:14:16 - The Power of Listening
00:17:54 - Different Types of Conversations
00:21:19 - Understanding the Needs in a Conversation
00:24:49 - The Importance of Communication and Experimentation
00:28:22 - Creating a Safe Space for Vulnerability
00:32:01 - The Power of Courageous and Vulnerable Conversations
00:35:42 - The Importance of Emotional Conversation and Authentic Communication
00:39:32 - Creating Relatability: Unlocking Abundance through Conversation
00:43:23 - The Importance of Laughing and Asking Questions During Communication
00:46:35 - The Power of Vulnerability
00:50:14 - Recovering from Success
00:53:54 - Finding Joy and Self-Improvement
00:57:37 - Overcoming Fears and Taking Action
01:01:44 - Overcoming the Fear of Rejection
01:05:22 - The Importance of Sharing Personal Values
01:08:58 - Motivational Interviewing for Conflict Resolution
01:12:26 - The Power of Effective Communication
01:16:09 - Investing in Relationships
01:19:56 - The Joy of Giving
#greatness #inspiration #motivation
Thanks to Charles for sharing his wisdom! Leave a “YES” if you enjoyed this and share the biggest moment for you. And make sure to subscribe to never miss out on inspiring content like this again KZhead.com/lewishowes
I appreciate it very much
Yes! Very informative!! Much appreciation for the insight on sincere listening & understanding of an emotional response from another person. I am excited to read/learn from this book!! Thank you both for this helpful recording!!
Yes!
I agree! This was great in these times but it definitely depends on the 2 people that are in the relationship to make it last for decades and death due us part!❤️❤️❤️🩷🩷💙💙
Yes!!!
Oh man that part about not giving solutions to people when they just want to be understood is something I’m working on. I’m very good at making friends but when we get to the point where they start to become deeper with me and telling me their problems, I will relate to a degree but then I give solutions and it can get to a point where I start to slowly polarize from the person because I’m the kind of person who wants to fix their problem and not feel like I’m dwelling in their problems with them, but I realize that it’s not about dwelling with them but just hearing them and showing I hear them, and if they ask for advice/a solution, then I will give it. Thanks so much lewis, I swear your videos make me a more high quality person, they’re just phenomenal.
Some people like to talk about their problems. They do not want to solve them. They love their problems. Be careful.
@@FragranceCraft very true.
Yeah I am just barely learning this too man -.-
@@FragranceCraftI feel like you’re missing the point.
May be there are several points. I certainly missed the classical male female point: female just wanting to talk (=building relation) and male wanting to solve (=building trust) . Very simplified John Gray version. But there are many people out there just abusing our time and energy by tearing our attention to their so called problems. What they want is attention, not a solved problem. Or share their suffering by holding onto it. They would never make the effort necessary to change their situation. It seems to be easier to suck other peoples live energy ... @@amirbabb3313
Been alone can increase your risk, been around the wrong people can be even worse
Usually said by people who use "friends" as means to an end. Like drug addicts and criminals. If they don't benefit you, get away from them.
My assumption is that those of us that listen to these interviews have a desire to learn something new or to learn how to better ourselves. Relationships are a key component to our happiness longevity and we would like to communicate and experience life with likeminded people. How can we go about our lives and find those likeminded individuals and have a real legitimate relationship with them? I find myself learning all these things and yet I don’t have an established circle of people outside of our immediate family that I can call, go to or experience life with. It’s just me my spouse and my kids in a bubble and for the longest time I’ve desired more meaningful relationships to experience and educate myself more.
I 100% agree with what you've said. I also find that it's very difficult to find like-minded people. I would love to find others who are self-aware, have a growth mindset, a desire for life-long learning and a desire to have open and honest conversation. I find the more time I put into learning and self growth, the harder it is to find others like me to connect with.
@@MissJackas000 yes! This is my point exactly. I also find myself evaluating my current relationships and realizing they’re not allowing me growth or sometimes it feels like taking steps backwards. I would love to educate those around me or put them on to what I’ve been learning but I feel like I look crazy to someone if they don’t have the desire to grow the way I do.
Keep putting yourself out there. Engage in group activities that would bring together likeminded individuals with similar interests.
I attend local and online MEETUPS. The site is good for searching for keywords.
Your point?
When you cannot connect with yourself, you will always feel lonely even in the presence of others
Wow! I follow you!!!❤
This is where the real connection needs to start. With ourselves. 💯
This was better than most of this episode 😂
Lewis is such a great interviewer! Charles has been on a few of my favorite podcasts recently, but nobody could make it as engaging, meaningful and tactical as you!!!! ❤
Do you need me to Hear you, help you or hug you? Game Changer for me!!!!! Thankyou!!! ❤
Was searching for an interview with Charles, and was over the moon that Lewis got him on the pod. I knew it would actually be deep. Wild, but human, to hear about Lewis being checked by a recent guest for "interrupting" as any interjection from him is quite obviously enthusiasm based not ego serving. Still, appreciated his ability to give us this insight into a less than perfect moment. Proof hat humility keeps us in the game. Congrats on 11 years!!!
Thank you so much!
Ok, but He had the BEST answers to the famous last questions!! And he’s the only one who has asked Lewis what his are 🤯👏🏾
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
"You cannot be lonely when you like the man you're alone with" Dr Wayne Dyer. Quote from: What Am I Here For?: Discover meaning, joy and steps to success in the human experience. Valuable read.
People no longer know how to distinguish between friends and acquaintances. Emotional diarrhea at inopportune moments is not welcome. We need to get back to reading classics to re learn what friendships are, and start practising the art of friendship. It takes time to build a friendship, and in order to have good friends, one must be a good friend. But skipping steps in building friendship is like skipping steps in courtship. Miss a step, and the whole relationship falls apart like a house of cards that it's built on. Sharing too much too soon is like expecting someone to sleep with you when all you've said is hi 10 times at the gym, or shared a cup of coffee. Maybe there's been a friendship expert on this show, but I'd surely like to see more friendship experts talk about how to build friendships; this would eliminate a lot of loneliness. It would also eliminate a lot of toxicity in relationships, including the one we have with ourselves. I'd also like to see a list of good books that illustrate what true friendship is, and how it was created. I'd love role play; conversations that illustrate what is inappropriate and how it could be corrected. I blame movies for showing incorrectly what friendship is.
It’s a constant filtering through out our life because we change, others change, situations change.
“Recovering from success”. WOW. I heard that. His story was incredibly vulnerable and the loudest “cautionary tale” I’ve ever heard. Excellent interview from both sides! ❤
Appreciate you for watching!
I learnt this in med school 20 years ago. Use it all the time and love it! ❤️
The best moment for me was when the one being interviewed asked a profound question. Almost never happens. Proves he's the real deal
The insights from Charles Duhigg are always mind-opening. For entrepreneurs looking to leverage communication, remember that active listening is key. It's not just about talking; it's about understanding the needs and pain points of your audience to truly connect and provide value.
Im a new subsciber Lewis. The first video of yours Ive actually watched. I mostly see your shorts. This was particularly interesting to me. My husband and I moved from our home state about 5 yrs ago to be closer to his siblings whom I have very little in common with. 2yrs later he became ill and passed away in 2022. So here I am living alone very ruraly seperated from long term friends that are concerned that Im lonely. I personally think its a perseption thing. Some people need to be around people all the time others don't. I keep myself busy and actually enjoy the time and peaceful environment to decompress after a busy day. I may not stay here forever but for now until I decide my next life chapter being alone has been a good thing.
So sorry you lost your husband, my boyfriend passed away December 2021…..I have stayed single since….i have friends but I find myself liking my alone time more than ever before. I guess it’s a balance.
@@andreaanderson4846 Sorry for your loss also. I've always enjoyed my peaceful alone time. I use it to decompress and recharge from my hectic life. I've got some good positive friends and people that work for me that know this. That's been important. I just stay positive so I know I'll be fine.
Thanks for subscribing!
Pointing out that women share by stating when it happened to them and how . And that is called sharing and being open, not stealing thunder . Sorry for your losses ❤
I’m 45 with 3 mindful relationships plus family, don’t suffer from any physical ailments. Everyone thing I am about 28 , work have kids and prefer love people from the distance that have toxic people around me, I have a lot of people that I now but don’t have them in the day to day
Oh, you're interested in communication! That's awesome. Being a communication expert involves understanding the different aspects of effective communication, such as verbal and nonverbal cues, active listening, and clear expression of ideas. It's all about helping people connect and understand each other better. If you have any specific questions or topics you'd like to explore within communication, feel free to ask!Absolutely! Communication is such a fascinating topic. It's all about how we exchange information, ideas, and emotions with others. Effective communication involves not just speaking, but also listening actively and being aware of nonverbal cues like body language and facial expressions. It's about finding common ground and understanding each other's perspectives. Good communication skills can help build stronger relationships, resolve conflicts, and foster collaboration. It's a skill that can be developed and honed over time. So, what aspect of communication interests you the most
Yes absolutely! You have to listen to what each other has to say in a respectful way and in a relationship together
❤Thank you for explaining...I am a helping hand and a good listener. However, I am learning to just listen and be present... a good reminder... I usually have the loop going on.. repeating back what I think I heard. ..so awesome for clarity!! I believe that the cellphones / computers /TVS are an important part of our lives...however less phone calls are made....(texts happen) emails instead of hand written letters and greeting cards...and watching television (being programmed) instead of reading a book or playing a game which supports conversations...and connections.. Something personal about talking or writing directly to another human...❤
Yep..here for it... I used to say being alone doesn't mean you're lonely..well.. 😢
If your thoughts are making you unhappy, listen to Eckhart Tolle about the "voice in your head" & how to silence it... Find hobbies you enjoy, listen to and dance to music while cleaning or gardening etc. Dance is very uplifting!❤ 💃🏻 🕺🏼 🎉
@@calista1280 you are so right
@@calista1280That is so great! I think hobbies are so underrated. After looking into this myself, I think they are really essential into not only building self-worth and confidence - But its such a great opportunity to branch out with others. Even loners need to connect. I'm on my way! Great advice! What are some hobbies you are into?
Loneliness really is a serious epidemic. I 'm noticing it more and more in people around me and that is worrisome coz it can lead to other mental issues.
I'm feeling emotional while writing this comment. This video is the best video I've ever seen in youtube about communication skills. You guys are the definition of greatness. We need more human beings like you frankly. ❤️🌸
Thank you so much for your kind words 🧡
Thank you dear Lewis for inviting the great brains to 'The School of Greatness' and making an impact in people's lives. It is a pleasure in reading the finest books produced by them and listening to their conversations. I read best selling books by Robin Sharma, James Clear & Charles Duhigg and I was wondering if I could meet these legends in person. You show make it really possible. Much love and best wishes to you Lewis from Bhutan-Himalayan country 😊. Truest me, this is my favorite show now.
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
Wow. This podcast is such a Gem for me since "The Power of Habit" book is my very first self-help book ever! This book has been my gateway to the self-development journey..! Such an inspiration to listen more and more from and get inspiration from its Creator and Author Charles Duhigg! ⭐🌟✨ Thank You, Lewis Howes for your continuous creative content! 👏👏👏
I can express the value I have gained for listening to the conversation! I plan to listen to it daily for a while, then return to it monthly. Ty🙏🙏🙏🙏
You're welcome, thank you for being here! 🧡
Lewis Howes , congratulations on the 11 year anniversary of your show🎉 .
Thank you!
Thank you for sharing, "yes ", enjoyed listening to his wisdom and beliefs. Blessings to you both 🙌. 💫💛🙌🙏
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for listening.
Lewis please invite Oliver Niño (Spiritual Activator) to your Show. That would be amazing! Thank you for all of your work and dedication 🙏🕊
Thank you so much for this podcast, your conversations are stretching me to have to make a change in my life❤❤
Thank you! I really appreciate the feedback!
Yes, this came out a perfect time. I am on a journey of self improvement and communication is my key focus point. Thank you Lewis! I love your show!
Thank you so much for your feedback 🙂
Thank you, Lewis, for all the amazing speakers you bring to your podcast, and all the wisdom you seek to disseminate to the public! Your interviews are always so engaging and inspiring; the great rapport you build with everyone is evident and makes for a fantastic listen! I enjoy sharing these with my family and friends 🧡
@lewishowes I’ve been following you for some time, I love your podcast. I didn’t know you went to TM. I’m in this journey myself. Giving 7 minutes speeches every week, attending different clubs, reviewing the speeches 😅. Kind of exhausting at times 🤪. I relate so much to the way you approach your fears. I do the same😊. You are a great inspiration 🥰. Thanks for sharing you journey.
Im at almost an hour in this video. It shares amazing communication techniques and how to really bond with people. But I'm yet to hear something about how to go about fixing the loneliness in our own lives or for others in our own communities. I'm hoping to hear some kind of insight on how to heal this loneliness in our lives and in other's lives by the end of this video.
Just wonderful. And beautifully inspiring. (And I appreciate this great interview not being interrupted with ads 🙏🏽)
Incredible interview and information! Thank you both!
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
Yes the internet will keep us home. Smart tv , so much to watch, podcasts documentaries, movies!
Wow this is one of my favorite podcast ❤️
Glad you enjoyed it! 🧡
Awesome to hear Lewis's 3 truths
Thank you for taking the time out of your day to check out the interview! So glad you enjoyed it🧡
this person adds really a great value in my life
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
"The interview was amazing, and I feel fortunate to have watched the video!" Thank you
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
I absolutly loved this episod!!! Thank you for a great podcast!! 🙏
Glad you loved it! Thanks for watching!
I’m a super communicator naturally. Those who share this trait know this internally. That does not mean I talk a lot, it means to care and have a natural way of being mutable and empathetic to the person I’m engaging with. This discussion here is from a therapist point of view which is beneficial to a larger audience of people so seeing it here on KZhead makes sense. What is missing, in my opinion, is how we do not acknowledge someone else’s code. What is a persons code? Look up your astrological chart, numerological life path, enneagram number, destiny card, etc.. through this you will map out an individuals code and you can look at one another through what they are gifted or challenged with in life. We are all truly unique and not all are here to do good in the world. Understanding is a main ingredient to bond people. Small talk is pointless in the modern age of communication. Be fearless in communication.
Amazing podcast. Thank you!
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
I’m so excited for this video I’m about to watch 😊
I look forward to this!
This is great. I am very inspired by the conversation. Both the guest and host did a great job of demonstrating the ease and fluidity of that flows when connecting language is shared. Thank you both!
You're welcome, thank you for watching🧡
Just when I thought it couldn't get better, he shares the 3 things he'd want to leave behind and there's so much wisdom in those words. Make sure you listen to the end!
Another great podcast thank you.
Conversation is a Lost Art ! 😂
true! ❤
This is a top 5 interview :D
Guest: Show people that you’re hearing them. Lewis; Yeah, yeah, yeah lol
Wow , thank you both of you. 🙏
Wow! What a great episode! I learned a lot from this conversation. It inspires me to become a super communicator someday. It flashbacks my conversations with my family and friends. I was able to reflect and assess where should I improve and practice more. Thank you so much for being so authentic. Thanks a lot, Lewis!
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
Charles seems to be a very considerate person 👍🏻
He really does and I do genuinely believe most people are very considerate , I think Charles just knows how to let rhe other person feel considered more than most of us
Wouldn't it be great if all doctors learned how to really listen to their patients?! 😊
the system is very flawed :S
As an RN having 25 patients and 12 hours, you do the math on how much listening I have time for.
Its a time.thing ! They are stretched too thin
You are very right we physican a should listen more and we have a lot of systems pressure to see people every 15 mins.. that’s why I am here to improve the quality of communication and not just depend on duration ❤
If they did that, then they couldn't prescribe you the unnecessary medicines that they are paid by pharmaceutical companies to push PRACTICE MEDICINE😮
Love this. Thanks Charles. Thanks Lewis. ❤️❤️
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
For a great communicator he sure says 'like' a lot. "Like Master the Art of Like Influence and like Communication (Like Become like MAGNETIC like). Joking aside - good chat!
“The goal is what you do everyday”
🙌
Now, imagine a child, possibly since before being born, emotionally neglected by its parents. They’ve smoked 15 cigarettes a day since birth or longer. In the words of Dr. Robert Block, the former President of the American Academy of Pediatrics, "Adverse childhood experiences are the single greatest unaddressed public health threat facing our nation today." It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. -Frederick Douglass. Please, do a show on ACEs with Dr. Nadine Burke Harris. I believe, it’s the origin of of many if not most of societal ills such as narcissism, addiction, anxiety, depression, domestic violence, poverty, intergenerational trauma, and more.
It's ok to be alone. You don't have to feel lonely if you're doing things you enjoy! 💃🏻 🕺🏼
I think it stems with the approach most teachers take into a classroom . I taught public school for 9 years and rhe babies were reflections of the teachers
This is so good. Thank you
Another great video. Best advice on communication.
Appreciate you for watching.
A big YES! Yes, very validating and empowering. I have been studying and obviously practicing mindful communication and have found this topic fascinating. Hard to pinpoint what stood out for me because everything you have talked is interconnected. I really like the idea of reflecting back what the speaker said in my own words and asking if I am getting it. It works! It really does. For me, recognizing where I am coming from, which is my genuine intention, has become key. Self-connection is a premise here and the ability to really listen to the other’s feelings and needs creates a powerful potential. I also enjoyed those three types of conversations. It helps recognizing where we are at and when we should wisely switch in order to match the speaker’s intention. Thank you, Lewis, for this fundamental topic so needed these days. I believe we are all truly longing for conversations like this: emotional, educational, rich and vulnerable. Information is important yet validation has to come first, otherwise the information may not register. I felt validated! My bow of gratitude, Lewis.
You're welcome, thank you so much for watching🧡
Respected @ Lewis Howes Such an amazing piece I steal from you,I feel like and save in my personal folder.it's a very reflected one , need to listen again and again to reach the bottom layer of the scenario.Thanks again for being a part of this beautiful session...
Thanks again for making me part of this .
Keywords to live by: Gratitude.Health.Service.
A-MA-ZING!!!!!
I love this talks
Hi everyone
When my 17 year old son asked me about conversing with people, I told him to get curious. So many people today are stuck in their head. Great interview! I just bought the new book and The Power of Habit, as well as the accompanying planner! Thank you!!
Amazing conversation!
Thank you for taking the time out of your day to check out the interview! So glad you enjoyed it🧡
I'm a widow - the loneliness of life without my mate is soul crushing at times.
I’m sorry for your loss! I think we can all empathize how hard that must be.
Broseph, gotta be real. Many of us thrive on solitude.
Amazing!
Thanks for being here! 🧡
Great discussion! Thank you
You're welcome, thank you for being here! 🧡
Dang Lewis I started dancing salsa last year , I'm not great yet but I'm good. I can actually follow. One day I'm dancing one song with you🎉
Really appreciate Thanks a lot 😊
The 3 buckets analogy was awesome
Thanks for watching! I'm glad you liked it!
Would love to see 21 Savage on an episode
Love it! Thank you
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
Interesting thanks
Thanks
2:22 Nice!
Rejection can help lead to self acceptance. Reframe rejection in order to get positivity out of a negative or perceived negativity
Gems of wisdom😮
❤
Interesting
These are all counseling/ therapy techniques and skills. Communication, specifically listening (not listening to respond, but listening to hear and understand) and empathy are essential.
Columbus Ohio. Pays to listen ! 🤣🙏 I’m from there myself.
Always wondered if this was cultural - when you tell someone, “my aunt died, too,” it’s so they know youve been there. Any day, it’s easier to want to open up to someone who lets me know they’ve been in the difficult space, too, vs some theoretic. I notice my Hispanic female friends and I share by saying, “This is what happened to me and with whom and what I did.” That’s called opening up, not stealing the spotlight . There is also that in Spanish , it is really hard to communicate without rhe word “I” if you’re a simultaneous bilingual (basically speak in Spanglish when in your own element). I have to say, it’s rough when talking to folks outside Hispanic females , because it’s seen like a stealing the thunder event vs the opening up experience that is more natural .
“Twice as many friends” as what? What does that mean? That literally can be any number 2 and up.
Yessss 🙏
Yes
true...
A lot of valuable information, thank you. However, I wish as a supercommunicator, Mr. Duhigg could have communicated without the habit of plugging unnecessary "like" into this conversation. It seriously undermined my appreciation of his "super" communication skills.
Appreciate you for watching! 🧡
I seriously feel connected to him because I use the word “like” often. But I didn’t notice till I read your comment.
Lewis I feel like I have a connection to that
Alone all one never alone go to garden nature pets bugs bees trees animals share your life never alone
❤❤
Not sure about that, people that are mature enough to understand, not needy, understand, everybody and thing is not for everyone. Being more mature, I believe it is a MAJOR problem if you have to seek friendships or relationships online, there is definitely something missing as a human being, do the math and figure it out and remember. It is all how you are raised and stay blessed! Let's go! 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
is this “ masking”
I am looking for someone to practice my English conversational skills. If you could recommend someone I would be grateful
❤