How to Deal With Betrayal | Eckhart Tolle Teachings
When asked about the subject of dealing with betrayal, Eckhart shares that we should be careful with the stories our mind creates.
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The message here was really good, the laughter a little belittling of the pain that people go through after betrayal.
"for the pain subsides when you stop telling the story of how much it hurt."
❤
“Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath.” -ECKHART TOLLE 💜🧡⭐️🙏🏽☀️
@@PersisP and after a first reaction , which is understandable, then maybe a clearer view, which may help
@@PersisP sounds like when your boundaries are being squashed there will be a considerable amount of pain
Pleasure is exactly the same!
@@miracleshappen4483 That's true.
You don’t say
- I just want to let anyone who’s reading this, and going through a tough time know that it’s going to be okay. You’ll get through it! ✨
Thanks 🙂
Thank you. Take care.
I don't care why I'm convinced this is a bot. Bots have never been wrong and therefore are not familiar w the feeling of a human hand gripping their throat.
I really hope so.I suffer for too long and my life is a mess...
@@spacekat8249 My wish for you is to find peace...My wish for me is to find peace, too 💖
I read once holding a grudge against someone is like keeping them hostage in your mind. When you keep someone hostage you have feed them, water them, exercise them and worst of all constantly remind ourselves what terrible things they did to us to deserve to be in our mental prison. When we consciously decide to forgive and release our prisoners, the person we are really freeing is ourselves. It makes sense when you think about it, because the person we are sitting there feeling bitterness and anger towards years later has absolutely no idea we are even thinking about them at that moment and are probably enjoying a, really good movie, meal or holiday blissfully unaware they are even a prisoner at all. Releasing our hostages really is the only rational and compassionate thing to do for ourselves
Yes! Therefore keeping YOU hostage.
Wow 😊
How do you release them?
This was such a helpful illustration. Thank you.
@@nataliem5744 your very welcome Natalie 🙏🙏🙏🙏
I've been betrayed by so many people in my life who should never have done so, beginning with my mother. It's been freeing for me to recognize that those people are broken and I cannot fix them nor expect them to behave differently. Also, I don't trust them with any part of myself anymore.
Change your story; change your life. Suffering is in the mind, in what you tell yourself. I became a watcher of my thoughts to change my perception of all things. Since how we think creates how we feel, I always stop a bad-feeling thought and reach for a better-feeling one. This is everything and after 60 years of self-created suffering, has completely changed my life and led me to peace.
It's all about finding the true nature of things. When you see the truth you free yourself from suffering
I understand †his. What I trip over is the abuse visited upon my son whom I should've been able to protect.
Suzanne: I had a similar experience. I accept that I did not know better at that time or I certainly would have prevented it. I forgive myself for I knew not, and daily (even 4 yrs. later) appreciate the expansion of my life it has afforded me to only recognize and milk all the good in life. I can't afford to dwell on the past any longer, at all, or risk living in misery. I STOP those thoughts as soon as I'm aware of them. It gets easier!
@@elizabethkinnison7180 Embarrassing to say years for me, but the man continues to smear me & is surrounded by supportive flying monkeys while I'm alone. Almost humorous.
"He is a human being who manifested behavior that corresponded to his level of consciousness." Brilliant and very funny, oddly so. Thank you. "Yes of course you suffered. we all encounter humans that make us suffer..many humans are unconscious and not at the same level." I love the part about being aware of the narrative in our mind about betrayal.... I understand now. Thank you.
It is very interesting how our level of consciousness and behavior varies from time to time, from situations….!!! I sometimes look back at the things that i have said and done and feel why would i ever say or do that….
😌
@@rajagopal3432 Exactly! Things you wish you never did. It's called regrets. The best way to deal with them is to promise yourself to never ever do it again!
@Alex Adk The Last Set to overcome is to control. We aren’t higher beings this isn’t fate but acceptance. The world is multifaceted and the exponential amount of variables that can happen in one’s life can’t be tied to one specific sequence. Anything can happen. But to control and suggest we can overcome is the opposite of letting go and is even more painful. It’s like holding onto a rope that’s moving. It would hurt less if you just let go.
@Alex Adk The Last Set Thank you for the kind words and I hope your doing great a year later haha😂. In Sigmund Freuds analysis of the ego he mentions we have the Id, superego and the ego. The Id is the “evil” ratio of our all encompassing ego and the superego is the “good”. When your able to “watch” the thoughts of the “ego” you begin to see that you are not the ego but you are merely a watcher of a more grand performance. In many spiritual teachings you may often hear the statement “You are not your thoughts.” And if you take it from a literal standpoint if you aren’t your thoughts this means you can’t control something which you are not. And you know yes maybee you may observe the ego and “stop” negative thoughts but many aren’t able to do this and when they have don’t have “control” but have learnt to perceive this “inner” as its own subconscious individual with a voice that wants to be heard. Remember your never meant to suppress negative emotions as they will eventually manifest physically. But you listen to the negative thoughts (Ego, Id) and like earlier - accept them. This principle of acceptance is overarching in many themes in science and spiritually for example stoicism, Cognitive behavioral therapy and even in religion. :)
Sometimes it's difficult to forgive someone once. We have to do it over and over and over. No matter how many times we forgive, we forgive because it's the kindest thing we can do for ourselves ❤️
Betrayal is the most hurtful thing any human can experience. Wether that’s from family, co workers, loved one or even your own country. Betrayal is the most inhumane thing to do on any level.
Totally agree. This was one of Eckhart's poorest videos, in my opinion, as it seemed so lacksadaisical and emotionally unempathetic. On an intellectual and philosophical level it makes sense, but it seems fairly cold and callous, compared to other stuff of his that I've watched.
He means well. You are doing it for yourself. Forgiveness does not mean approving of bad behavior. Don’t identify your sense of self with someone else’s unconscious actions. You are absolutely innocent and free from it! Love yourself to know that you have nothing to do with others bad behavior towards you.
I'm going through this, who I considered a close friend has "betrayed" me. And her close work friends are "betraying" me. I was thinking about it last night and I felt inside this anger start to rise up. I'm thinking about it now and again anger is rising. I realised LAST NIGHT it was because I was telling myself the story of what they have done to me. I'm usually ok, dont care and know that it is there level of consciousness I can not control but sometimes it does hurt. How humans can and will hurt you without a care on how you feel about it. Of course it hurts but through this and my every day experience of them, I learn another level of awareness I guess.
This video helps me a lot, although the (several) betrayals are some time ago, it seems a proces. Yet reading your reaction makes me more carefull in sharing this video, one of my mistakes is often that I expect understanding in similar (when do I really know?) Situations. So thank you, & bless you. 🤍
Yes it is !!!!!
This saves me so much because i am in the same situation with the questioner. Yes it is very hard to be kind with someone who is not kind to me, but in the end their action do not defines me. I will practice this way of thinking to be free, and to forgive.
For everyone that is reading this. May god and the angels give you peace and fullfill you with love. Love is so powerfull and we must spread it all over the world to protect us from all evil. ❤🙏
Loyalty and betrayal are no laughing matter. The fact our society makes it so flippant is why it continues to happen often. Forgiveness does not mean tolerating others bad behaviors...
Exactly 👏🏼
Totally agree. Eckhart warns people to be careful of the stories they tell themselves, perhaps he too should be careful . Being funny can also be a kind of story one tells oneself.
Forgiveness mean forgive humans being human. If not, you carrying burden of all humanity. Some day you will need forgiveness.
@@kristi1189 and when that day comes, you will need compassion and connection from those who have received that from you.. and will not have access to it.. and you will experience the isolation and pain of betrayal.
@@kristi1189 Well said. I forgive because I am not perfect either, and humans are only human. We all act out of hurt and have a great weekend.👍
Hurt people HURT people...simple and releases attachment, judgements and resentments. Salvation is forgiveness 🙏
Yes, I've learnt that from Gnarls Barkley :-D
Being betrayed is a normal part of the human condition, especially when you live in a narcissistic society. Never place expectations upon human beings & just get yourself a dog
I’ve thought about doing this, but I don’t want to commit animal abuse by confining a dog to a tiny apartment or house with a postage-stamp-sized fenced-in area of anything less than a few acres.
Good idea!!
Or.... learn to transcend it. Don't cut yourself off from people or life, simply allow others to be as they are and see that they are part of the one.
Yes
@@mariekedobber6074 ikr 😁😁👍👍👍👍💯💯💯💯💯
This "they dont know what they do" does NOT always apply. People often know they're hurting you & do it anyway.
That would make them unconscious, right?
I see a hole in this logic. To want to hurt someone and then doing it is not knowing what they do. How so? You might ask. It is still not a truly conscious behaviour. Truly conscious behaviour does not cause harm. Hurting others intentionally means that you have cut yourself off from the greater consiousness.
@@omegapointsingularity6504 Who wants to hurt someone? An ego. Presence or the observer doesn't need anything from this world. They know not what they do because they are caught up in egoic stories and believe the world is real.
@@metricmoo right, I know because I see this mechanism in myself.
@@metricmoo wanting things is not harmful if you are present, right? like one could want things, have preferences and all that but it is not a requirement for ones peace of mind. I think thats the difference between neediness, wants, must haves and just preferences in awareness. Like good food. Who wouldn't prefer good food? :D
Just be present...and accept what is as it is. To say "betrayal" means that you first had future expectations...and second, those expectations were not met and now the past "betrayal" is being held onto. This is very much not living in the present, but instead future and past. There is too much clinging to past and future...let it go.
Start by acknowledging that they haven't let it go [yet]⁉️
Nonduality...thank you. It is so easy to understand intellectually, rational, and Truth. It is putting into practice living from Presence that is hard because of the emotions involved, especially in close family relationships. 🙏💫
Yes, I love this!
Beautiful 🥰
bravo 👏🏼 you get it
It's completely understandable to carry the hurt of betrayal, but the ego just wants to keep identifying with the pain and continually renew it. Practicing mindfulness EVERY DAY is the way through it and the ego starts to lose its grip as the pain starts to dissolve. Attention/presence/mindfulness and commitment is the key.
Well said
such a great response and so true. understanding this is what will set you free.
“Never take anything another says or does, personally.” - Don Miguel Ruiz
I think emotions take over. When you have or think you have a genuine connection with someone. It can be painful if they hurt you. We all learn the hard way. Some quicker than others. I am sure Eckhart has been hurt too. Peace and precense to all. 💜🕉💜
peace and presence!
Eckhart was hurt severely by his father. His father divorced when he was at teen age. No love from parents. But, at the end his suffering led him to enlightenment. He is grateful for his hurt.
So true, we carry the burden of another’s betrayal when we need to forgive and move on
Suffering is our greatest teacher
His wisdom combined with humor is such a lovely combo!
I enjoy too.
A simplistic and pat answer,,,
Sometimes, wondering how and why a person can do you wrong is unfathomable and unanswerable and all we can do is to accept that everything happens for a reason. That maybe we are just wrong on how we perceived them as a person...
I think you’re onto something. My original golden perception of that person was flawed.
His explanation or story line does “FEEL” better!!! Feeling is believing!! 💙💙💙💙
Incredible Clarity. Thank You❤
I would really enjoy 24 hours of the waterfall sound❤
"Forgiving is rediscovering the shining path of peace that at first you thought others took away when they betrayed you." ~Dodinsky
Thank you Rubin for bringing this man to my awareness I just ordered his book.. xoxo
@@nancystephens3515 hey my pleasure glad it spoke to you!
Wow! I love this 👏🏼
That quote was eerily precise. Sincerely, and with gratitude, thank you Rubin and Dodinsky
Eckhart, thank you for solving an ongoing mystery. I have been working hard to understand what has happened to my daughter who, quite suddenly (it seemed) turned against me. Her behaviour is quite extraordinary and I just couldn't understand it. You have brought clarity for me in this. Her behaviour changed once she met and became married to a 'difficult' man much like her father. I now realise that because of the situation she is in she is coming from her sub-conscious and all the repressed emotions(from childhood) - no wonder I kept saying that she wasn't the girl I know - a completely different character, but one coming from a very unhealed place. This understanding has helped me to somehow let go of trying to get to the bottom of the situation and blaming myself, not knowing what I had done. It isn't anything to do with me, but somewhere she has gone for a while. thank you for your amazing insights!
I meditate, dream, and imagine my most ideal life..
I never blamed him, forgave him within a week, but it still hurt as heck because it was so sudden. Myselfesteem dropped from 0 to -100 but luckily I got friends and a therapist to support me and didn't let me blame myself. I definitely learned smt from it and am not going to let it bring me down (this message is more for myself tbh 👀) Keep strong people! You're beautiful and dont let some sucker spitting in your soul bring you down 💚
Something like a sudden betrayal happened to me as well. It just shook my self esteem sooo bad but again thankfully I had friends and a therapist. It has been 5/6 weeks ...I just want to forget about it
I've just experienced the kind of dynamic Eckhard talked about. What I can say is that it is difficult to react kindly and understandingly when you feel so hurt . I have already understood what Eckhard is taking about but it is a process... I'm coming out of the difficult part. If I haven't learnt all I'm meant to learn life will offer me another difficult situation.
Eckhart is a genius. 🙏❤️
'Forgive us father, for we sometimes know not what we do.'
Beautifully addressed! The paradigm makes all the difference.
For me, this quote from The New Message from God speaks so profoundly about the nature of betrayal and relationships overall. “It is what you do together that determines the nature and purpose of relationship. That is why human romance is such an empty promise, for if you cannot do anything together, you have no basis for being together. The initial attraction turns cold and dark, and the desire and the embellished feelings turn ashen and become bitter and resentful." This one comes from the Living the Way of Knowledge book - Chapter 3: The Pillar of Relationships. And it has such wisdom, so simple and so powerful, something that the world needs so much at this time.
& in A Course of Miracles there are nobody else outside of us...
Thank you, Ivan.
Hi Ivan , that’s an interesting quote. I’m wondering what book it’s from? Is it by Eckhart?
Thanks soooo much for bringing the New Message wisdom here. So needed!
@@trudycampbell4962 it's by Marshall Vian Summers.
May we all find peace within the noise of unconsciousness. May the mind be an instrument of thought but free from egoic narratives.
Goodmorning from Greece!!! Wise words!!!
“Only Human! “I have to remember this line from the Matrix.
Wow, amazing. So much suffering can be alleviated by living in this way.
I love that ET and his audience are so gleeful and lighthearted . Who would think that a painful thing like betrayal could become a source of so much laughter ?
Thank you for going through the archives. What a gem
The situation that they find themselves in. When an individual lacks the ability to transcend that situation, they will do one of two things: revert to what they know or ask for help. For most, it's the former.
Why are people laughing? Betrayal is the most painful thing a human can experience. Nothing funny about other people’s evil!
I had quite recently experienced betrayal. As I am not permanently present, of course I initially feel the pain. But as one who has 'seen' the mind as well as the'seer', pain is quickly welcomed as the harbinger of peace. And that's the beauty of Truth: the problem IS the solution.
Betrayal is not to be minimized. It hurts! It's a stab in the back.
Yes, but this opens up a big can of worms. Sometimes people are not seeing reality because they think they are much more important and valuable than they really are and never see the wrong that they do to others which might cause them to be betrayed. Many people do not want to betray but sometimes do so because they are being manipulated. Depends on the situation.
The intention isn't to minimize the act of betrayal but to set the person that feels betrayed free. I've felt betrayed, and I sometimes fear future betrayal, but I'm here because I want to be free of that limitation.
Thank you for taking out the sting. This was like anti itch medication for the self. And I actually could laugh about it now.
Many thanks, Eckhart, for that wonderful reminder. Just brilliant!
Thank you Echeart…. My mother betrayed me but she had just been diagnosed with cancer. I already looked at it that way. But it’s still hard to live with your own mother hurting you so much.
It comes from her own pain, nothing to do with you. Your mother must be really hurting inside. Otherwise she wouldn't need to hurt others. Not an excuse but it always helps me knowing that it's their pain and not my behaviour that causes it❤
@@endriandri7914 How do you know that?
You truly are a great gift to the world. Thank you so much Eckhart.💕
I love your humorous teaching style😂😂😂 I learn better🥰 Thank you!
I'm seeing the value of this, thank you!
What we need and what we have can make a better person of us..
Eckhart couldn't have hit on the content more than that!!!I have lived with the question of how to get rid of the anger caused by those who I was supposed to obey for a long time because of who they were. Now I get it in its fullest.Thanks a lot.
This is a great and beautiful way of looking at this subject Eckhart thank you for sharing it so eloquently🙏💜
Thank you for your wisdom Eck♥️
Rephrase, that is a very good way to heal, thankyou.
I am so thankful Eckhart Tolle❤️🙏 this video literally saved me, blessings to you. Stay safe. Love. Respect.
Very comforting and freeing.
Thank you🙏🍀 this is so helping me in my relationship. Hé didn’t betrayed me, but hé is a lot of times angry and than I feel my painbody and also creat a story…. Now I know what I can do!
Amazing as always, thank you.
I love you, Eckhart ❤😄
I do not know, I have searched in my mind why on earh Tolle has a profound emetic (see Wiki) effect on me. Always, invariably no matter the topic he is speaking about. But is not only his speech also his laughter, or even his face, produce the same effect in me. But I am very thankfull of this emetic effect, because I will use it after a too copious meal.
1:44 heard at 14:41 6:19 THE ADVICE 6:29 making me realize
OMG the timing of this video !!! it was posted only one day ago 😯😯 Just when my Consciousness was trying to calibrate to the love level !
This is such a hard lesson to learn.
This is very timely as we are all being betrayed by our governments, corporations, institutions. But the betrayal disappears as soon as we flat out tap into our own strength and forbid this abuse. We cannot participate in the abuse or we participate in our own destruction.
You can play word games with your self. But when you’ve been betrayed it’s very difficult to paint a positive picture with word replacements.😔
Feel the feelings - drop the story... Its not about the other... You are not your relationship with the betrayer. You are not the betrayal You are not the betrayed. Its the meaning we make around it that causes suffering and resistance to the feelings inside of us it triggers
100%. Everybody is laughing and finding synonyms for betrayal but I’m here crying listening for better reassurance.
Absolutely brilliant😁
Thankyou, very helpful.
Couple example given here is of two unaware people who are afraid to ask each other what's temporary and permanent in life before going for a marriage. For example what is real love,attraction,partnership,friendship, etc. An aware soul has different perspective (close to real or real) in each parts of their life,not just one. Liked the discussion. Keep it up dude! 🙏👍
Thank you.
🌈Thank you, for this Video 🙏🧚🏾😊
So true. Betrayal forgive move on 🙏 thank you xx
Piece of cake.. Not!
“Accept-then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.” - *ECKHART TOLLE * 💜⭐️☀️🧡
Gosh, he has surpassed the level of consciousness we are meant to achieve to the highest degree! 🙏 I believe when we reach this degree the cosmos gifts us especially. Thank you for the amazing wisdom and pointers. He is birthing consciousness in a way. Amazing 🌟
Excellent!
This really helped me. It was him not me....I hope I can be done with creating stories.
We R.....Fearfully and WONDERFULLY made.
Amazing, 😊 gratitude
Thank you...
Loyalty is a trap for all involved. You don't need a person to be loyal if they are truly uncoerced. Free will!
Beautiful video 🤩
One surely cannot just forgive, being human means we are going to feel emotions, they are there for a reason. Feelings have to be processed in order to enable healing, this is not living in the past or future but in fact in the present. If you put your hand in a fire you get burned, that will take time to heal, emotional pain in my humble opinion is exactly the same. Be gentle with yourself, process your emotions, allow yourself whatever emotion you are feeling, a bit like a storm…open yourself up and allow those feelings to pass through put you at the centre of your thinking. Forgiveness I’m not ready yet to forgive, my anger is too fierce….one day it won’t be but at present it is. 💛
that what is not yet ready to forgive is not you, it is what you believe to be....
Stop carrying the burden of their actions..🎯
Thankyou🌸💜
The person who betrayed me knew me from high school. He’s happy, healthy n rich coz of me n im suffering at soo many levels. It’s so hard to forgive n forget.
Thank you
Awesome!!!
It as an amazing speech. Realistic Interpretation instead of letting our mind creating uncounsious thoughts is a key to live a lighter life.
Brilliant
Amazing 🤩
Hmm ... people who get betrayed several times ... Chances are that there IS a lesson to learn, namely that not all people have equally high moral standards, and that you have to be carefull who you confide in. That lesson can be as important as the lesson to 'stay in the now'. Your 'staying in the now' will certainly become less of an effort 😀
The only thing is that some people are aware of what they do, and simply lack remorse or empathy, or they do it on purpose and truly don't care of the consequences. I suppose either way, that person is unconscious, living at a lower vibration, and forgiving them (with healthy boundaries for ourselves) can still work. It's just more scary when we realize HOW low a level they were at, and how different it was than what we thought. Some people only pretend to be at a higher level of spiritual awakening, and manipulate our belief in that. There is a difference between at times slipping down a level, or someone actually being much further down that we first thought. However, it is still a good awakening experience for us when we see that we were subconsciously attuning ourselves to people at lower frequency, and approach with curiosity why we were dimming ourselves to attune with those levels of vibration, only to have it inevitably hurt us.
Amazing
Dankeschön
Betrayal shows you where you have betrayed yourself in your relationships with others. This is a hard pill to swallow at times. Many of our relationships are not designed to be forever. They are designed to teach us about ourselves. When we refuse to learn, we get the same betrayal. It continues until we learn. At that point, our relationship with relationship and relationships transforms.
Exactely..👍👏. We are projecting our self..
I like this point. Where did you learn it?
what do you mean betraying ourselves, can you explain to me please 💜
How does the forgiveness come? How do we trust again?
Glad you can laugh about this and minimize and justify the abuser!
Very helpful❤let us not feed the little devil