Cooking Persian Food Ain't Easy... (K-von explains Zereshk Polo)
2017 ж. 21 Шіл.
1 116 325 Рет қаралды
Here's how to land a role on a popular cooking show & make the sexiest Persian meal possible!
Learn about 'Zereshk Polo w/ Joojeh Kabob' in this hilarious standup segment.
*Watch the full comedy special, order it here: K-vonComedy.com/shop
*Watch the original cooking segment here: • K-von cooks Persian Fo...
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Are you straight? Because I am not. I kind of have crush on you.
I think the world of you.
@@Edward4Plantagenet please be careful saying there is no G-d. They will hunt you down and throw you if a building after taking away your manhood. Please…these time are not for making such statements. They mean to harm us all. And KVON is very straight. I saw him first.
'These women were bored. I needed to turn the persian up' 😂
The persians are cool
🤣🤣
@@roppor4151 you are generous my friend thanks
Were the party representatives of the middle east!
@@user-gm5zt1dr8s Salaam Azizaam!
"middle eastern people cook the best food in the world.. they don't know how to teach it at all!" TRUE😂😂😂
Afghan are the same. p.s. we cook the best food☺😉
Haha AMEN I tried explaining to my non Persian friend how to cook our rice...nope lol
When you're a pro , you can't teach anymore
The thing is it's not like we don't know how to teach it it's that no matter what you do or how much you'll pay attention to the instructions it will never be as good as the original and I know this from experience and from knowing myself because I'm from a middle eastern family with a different quarter of side and yes I'm also one of those women :)
Mexican do the same thing
I came across K-von accidentally, to my surprise no adult jokes, no terrorism, no religion but just pure humor and fun to watch with family.
The same for Caribbean moms. They don’t give clear instructions and then when you’re not doing it right they’ll take over.
My wife is Caribbean and my favorite is put that THING into thing
When you learn to cook by averaging yourself, giving instructions would be a rather difficult task, you see. So, to learn from them, the only effective way is observation.
Just put enough seasonings until you hear the spirit of the ancestors say "Enough my child".
So true😂🏝
@@hntersguild6570 Forever shared classic answer amongst Caribbean people. It do be like that tho, its an art not a science
"He sounds like Aladddiin"😂😂
yessss
The dictator 😂
@@shailjasharma8007 aladeen or aladeen😂
Al Adim
My mom ‘s way of telling me how long to cook the chicken, “not too long”.
Oh man, I loled
That is like my mom telling me how much cinnamon to add to pie, and she says, “I just add cinnamon and I think, ‘I love cinnamon’.” 😂
Žètnėske
Káun trÿant ak kuôl
Long enough, you’ll see and know
I learned....I really like Persian comedy. Especially when it's about family and culture....thank you for not saying a single terrorist joke. Family stories are the funniest and they transcend race. I want to watch more.
You know 300 is incredibly historically inaccurate and Persia was one of the most democratic nations at the time right? It's not the terrorist one.
Persians and terrorism? Ur the first one im hearing this from... Search about Cyrus the great and his first Human Right in 2500 years ago at persian empire era
ADerpyReality dude they were the good guys yeas they were democratics absolutely not
I think you spelled “Arab” wrong. Persians don’t have terrorists to begin with.
@@DeathByMercy "Persians don’t have terrorists to begin with.": Persians HAVE terorist: Their goverment!
lmao. That finger thing is so accurate. My mom told me the same thing when she was teaching me how to cook Polo. And I was like what if that person has a super long finger ?
Hana Mikaeili ....true...i know what you mean.....!!!
Hana Mikaeili h666gģ
Hana Mikaeili lol mee too my mom thought me the finger way. I get it. Now i use it all the time.
I am an indian, n i too learned to cook rice like that. 😄🙈
My dad said the exact same thing it's so funny
"It means you fingered it perfectly"
Mehdi Khadem Ik that last line...I was crying
My pakistani mom gave me the same rice cooking instructions.
Also jojeh sounds alot like the Urdu word for buger
Every "brown" parent gives that instruction
@@glowingforthe1654 Even the not so brown almost yellow ones do the same. 😀😀
@@moubhattacharyya1141 does kvon look dark brown to you? Are white people all white like paper and are all black people pitch dark? Lmao
Osman Shah 🌸 best comment ever 😂
My Hispanic mother is the same way. "Mom, how do you make tortillas again?" "First, you mix the flour with the lard." "How much?" "Til it looks good." I eventually just went home, had her show me and measured what she was putting in there. At least she showed me how to do laundry properly. :P
Omg I thought I was the only Mexican who dealt with this! My mom tells me I don’t cook but it’s because she didn’t teach me anything! I cook everything I’ve learned on my own!
Of course!
I did the same thing. When mother in law would take a pinch she had to put on wax paper n I would measure . Made the best mole just like her measure.
Same here! Latina mothers, huh?
@@ravenmoonspicer4781A lot of mothers do this as they're used to cooking it so there's no measurements needed. That's how my mom taught me how to cook as she just said just put enough in till you think it's the right amount. I then asked her what if I use more meat? She then said then just add more seasonings. Now, I cook the exact same way my mom taught me so I have no recipes for anything as everything I do is just pour enough ingredients in until I think it's enough and that's it. So, when people asks me for the recipe, I could never give it to them as I don't know the recipe other than the ingredients that's in it. My bakery items are different as I measure everything out to the exact gram.
That's how my Moroccan mom gives instructions. Also, when asked "how much do I use", she says "3aynek mizanek" Basically, Your eye is your scale. Good luck with that
In East Africa they would say measure with your eye.
LNA D Mexican moms too I asked mom about measurements "tanteale" so feel it out.
Here in malaysia,when you asked for how much seasonings you need for the recipe, the moms will says, "rasa-rasa" which mean... "just guess" 😂
Same with my Greek grandma xD oh lord
My mom is moroccan too ..she teaches me absolutely nothing 😂 then she complains about me not knowing how to cook ..
*_"YOU MADE THE GOOD DECISION. KHUDA HAFIZ. I'LL BE BACK"_* LMAO I'M DEAD.
He kinda looks like Dean from Supernatural!
Omg, so true.
Oh yeah! No wonder he looks so familiar!
Persians are exactly like this. My old boss was from Tehran and damn he used to bring good food to the breakroom. He talked exactly like this comedian father. I couldnt tell if he was yelling or just serious. Persians like good food. Entertainment and very nice clothes and cars and houses. Lol
yesss.. and new book coming out soon with even more stories.
Ninja k Yes. They're very materialistic. especially those in the US
@@marmary5555 oh i am not materialistic I do not buy flashy kicks and I know the value of the dollar and I live within Villanova.
Ninja k everyone likes nice clothes, cars and houses 🤨 which race doesn’t? Haha I think the word your looking for is materialistic.
I work with Persians too. Yes they like nice things in life. Not one thing wrong with that! My coworker can certainly cook! When my figs come in, she gets really excited for them and makes amazing food with them!
I’m Iraqi but spent my childhood in Iran and everything he’s talking about is VERY accurate.
Persian food is gorgeous. I regularly go to a restaurant called, " the Caspian " in Manchester England. I don't eat all day before going as they really feed you up with huge portions.
Iranians are known to feed you big portions in a restaurant or in their house is just a normal custom in the culture, never stingy on portion sizes is extreme rude and tabo!!
This guy could be a super star in Hollywood. He's very handsome !
It's the humor, I'm very humorous and I'm almost dead. But I still look good!
Jesus Christ you don't know how bad middle eastern mums are at giving food instructions until you've moved out and are attempting to make something for the first time. Me: Mum mum how do I make addas polo? I have friends over. Her: you put enough lentils with moderate water in a pan. You cook them until they're done (you'd know when). And then mix it with rice and enough salt and much oil and let it cook till its done. Me:....but. How much rice? How long for the lentils? HOW MUCH SALT????
to defend persian moms, A BIG LOL I'd say it's because after cooking for a long time u do it with your eyes closed kind of diff to say it in words AND there might be some pride n keeping it a secret too lol
Kimia i am Asian and that is how my mom gives instructions for cooking and baking. Why I don't cook.
Don't worry, you'll just know.
@@lunacraftcrochet Persia/Iran is part of Asia.......Asia is the biggest continent on the earth and includes middle-east too.😁
Asians have some qualities embedded in them, doesn't matter from where, middle East or far East, we're pretty much the same. P. S. Just a random note, rather than tearing each other, we should stick together.
We have the same exact thing about fighting over the burnt rice at the bottom of the pot in Puerto Rico :) We call it 'pega'o' (burnt). It's the best part!
yummm... ok pick a show on www.kvon.tv and send ur friends then!
Yes! Another Puerto Rican here!
Same in Saudi Arabia, we call it "Alkraarah". It is also pronounced like "Algraarah". Alkraarah refers to "what is in the bottom of a pan", not necessarily burnt, but usually burnt. It's also more spicy, and we always fight for it. When we make dinner for our guest, we put the kraarah in his dish. Everyone loves it. Mmm..
Same in Kuwait ✋🏼 we call it “hakkoooka” 😊
@@Farsmezan exactly the most accurate translation for tah-dig is what is in the bottom of the pan
I am half Middle Eastern and this had me in tears. My grandmother’s cooking instructions are the exact same and my food would always comes out like shit. 😂😂
This is hysterical! I'm italian and there's no such thing as measuring food, it's a little of this and more of that. With enough practice you get the hang of it.
Hahaha yep. Can't instruct anybody how to cook anything. You just have to watch then try and fail a few times before you get it.
Omg 🤣these instructions are exactly the sort my mom used to give me. She was Jamaican. Never, ever ask “how much” because she would always say “a lot” or “ just enough”. 😝 priceless.
"And if you're lucky musto khiar for you"🤣🤣
lol. pick a show on www.kvon.tv
I'm amazed at how many different cultures consider the burnt part of rice as good. I'm from PuertoRico and my siblings and I would fight for it. You are Hilarious!
Ya I spent time growing up with a Dominican family and it’s funny but I was thinking about the burnt rice (I can never do it 😩) what’s the Spanish word for it? I can’t remember…
I really dont get that except if it was cook in charcoal
I really dont get that except if it was cook in charcoal
- Dating Persian guy - Guy gives me 'finger in rice' instructions via phone - Seriously questioning our friendship 😐🤔😐
Yo I'm asian and that's how my mum taught me to cook rice, and now when people ask me how to cook rice i say stick your finger in it 😂😂😂😂
I'm russian and same 😂
Damn you guys literally thought he was 26 or 23 at least then I asked uncle google how the hell is he 34 he looks younger than me and I’m 20
Khadija Elboushi The secret to the fountain of youth must be Middle Eastern cooking !
That's Middle Eastern genes for you we all age very well
Good genes there
That man is very very very good looking... Gorgeous good looking. Angelic good looking. Unbelievably good looking. And I'm fugly. 😁
He's so hot
omfriend true
Totally!
Its the Persian side
@but why definitely is
I would
As an Arab, Im so happy for people like you. Thank you for not creating more divison with your comedy between arabs and persions. We are are the same...and we all love burnt rice 😍. Keep doing what your doing and dont lose your heritage!
sedayeguitar hhh ce rabti dast
@ ?,? I am Iranian Baha'i and I love Arabs, and non Arabs and EVERYBODY FROM EVERY PART OF THE WORLD. WORLDWIDE PEACE is in our mind :-)
I can agree that we love burnt rice 🍚
They are the same in the sense they are middle eastern, they are neighbors. They are f human.
?, ?, lol we hate arab but i think you have arab blood lol hhh
I love watching your videos because they remind me of when I was married to a Persian chef... they're some of the best memories of my life ...and I'm still friends with my ex, I love Persian food, I love when you speak Farsi, I love when you and talk about how Persian people are because I live through all that I still have friends that are Persian, I love the Persian culture and I really really miss it♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
❤❤❤
As a half Persian I love this guy, all of his comedy skits are so true 😂
A pot ! - a good size pot!!!
I am Syrian and I can relate to the teaching part, they tell you put an average amount of water some cups of rice add just enough amount of pepper and DON'T over salt it, then after a couple of minutes on the oven its finished...... Well I'm finished 😆
Omg zereshk polo 😩 just hearing the name of persian food makes me hungry 🥘
In Guyana, we call tadiq at the bottom of cookie rice,, “bun bun”. It’s neat how food concepts transverses all cultures.
I’m Puerto Rican and my grandmother gives instructions like this 😂😂😂 we ALSO like that Burnt rice, we call it pegao!
Wow I had no idea other cultures also had tadig! Pegao so cool
Oh my god. Spanish women do exactly the same thing when telling you how to cook something! Whenever I ask my mom her answer is always "Enough" and I'm like "yeah, ok, but how much is ''enough'' water for a paella?" And this is why I write all my recipes down. We also fight over the burnt bits on paellas! And fight over the bills. Huh. Who knew we could be so similar.
lol... !
We lived in Tehran between '50 - '55. Suddenly, listening to K-von, I'm taken back to that wonderful time and place just hearing that Farsi sound and drooling over those recipes - some of the best cuisine we've ever had anywhere (that includes Italian) , especially Fehzanjahn!
6:36 Sooooo many cultures use the finger trick! It's tried-and-true old school homestyle cooking method :D
That is true
Oh my god "up to your finger" part is so ACCURATE 😂like every time i wanted to cook rice my mom would always say "just put your finger in the pot and the water should be up to your finger" and i was like wait that's so nasty and weird 😂🤔
I am from Georgia, United States and not even playing these are the same cooking instructions my grandma gives me
As a fellow half persian... i resonate sooo much with this
IT MEANS YOU FINGERED IT PERFECTLY 😂😂😂😂😂
Kvon.. It's not burnt rice.. It's scorched rice. there's a difference between burnt rice and scorched rice. Burnt rice is like.. Black. almost to not edible. what persians, and many asian countries' dishes make are scorched rice. That crispy texture, and a tinge of smoky flavor of rice.
are you educating me? lol
i believe u r being educated on your english lol forgetting it is a standup comedy, I use the word " crusty" lol again
Ah ffs whatever! We dont wanna know! Just do not take things too literally will you?
And Latin cultures. Basically every culture that uses rice
Agree 100%. But it is just semantics. Though I guess to someone who's never tried it, it could give the wrong idea.
This never stops being funny. My mother, a pakistani, always tell me you should just know when i ask the correct amount of spices to put in something. And I just look at her like mom, my eyes are not scales. 😝😂
This video actually made me realize that I can't give instructions to cook either 😂😂😂
@@meechanyo7909 same ahahaha
An Israeli woman taught me to cook her recipes from the age of 15. I can confirm the instructions were absolutely this vague and abstract. It was confounding to begin but actually made me a really good cook in the long run. She taught me to cook with my senses and not my mind.
I am a 74 yr. old Asian woman. I love your videos so much... I keep looking for a clue on your videos just to be able to relate to you. Well, you have "Ta-dig"! In my culture we have guōbā forms during the boiling of rice over direct heat from a flame. This results in the formation of a crust of scorched rice on the bottom of the wok or cooking vessel. As kids we would fight for it. We looked forward to it, when mom burned the rice. For years we thought it was dessert. It was never share outside the family. For one thing there was 6 of us kids. We were lucky to get an inch each of the guoba. My kids missed out on it for you can't get guoba with a rice cooker. By the way I loved the remodeling job that you did for your dad. You are a very good son!
Oh men, I never watched your show and I did it today randomly, I love it man, just do it more love from Tehran !
yeah me too lad
Omg my dad is the same way and we’re African American. It’s like they’ve never heard of measurements or timers. “Just put a good amount and cook it until it’s done” they said, Yeah ok lol.
Hahahahaahaha I’m always like give me the MEASUREMENT and how many minutes need to be on a TIMER lol and my dad is like it don’t take all that just put in a good amount and wait till it’s done lol
Maybe every culture is similar except for White people 😂😂😂
Heck, I'd watch him cook a Pop Tart!
I just discovered this dude and I can't get enough. I can't relate with everything but he still makes all of it enjoyable to me. I really like him.
hahahaha I really get the "finger in the rice"... we Filipinos are doing the same, and perfect rice all the time...
As half Latina ive come to know that when my mom gives me the "you'll know when is good" step in cooking instructions is bc she has high expectations of me summoning my ancestors and my abuelita for guidance 🙏
Persian's "tadig" is Filipino's "tutong". My mom loves it! She would always scrape the rice cooker clean for them burnt rice.
This is fantastic! I am half Persian as well, and this had me laughing so hard. My father passed away three years ago so it reminded me of him.
Tadig, first had it when my Azerbaijani hosts made us Plov and it was delicious! And measuring water rice ratio with fingers is what Somali moms teach 😂😂😂😂😂 cheers from Nairobi 🙌
Sun0981 it's what Cajuns in Louisiana USA.teach their children how to measure water/ rice ratios as well
Indian mom too :d
Sun0981plov? plov? Its pulaooo
Fatima Muhammad Faisal exact same thing only different pronunciation. Where Language divides...Food and music and humour unite us..... ❤️💟❤️
@@fatmam.faisal237 it is Plov in Azerbaijani😊
That is crazy! Your stories are hilarious.
I just discovered you lmao I'm laughing so hard , i love persian 💓
hiiii... tank you!!! come to a show www.kvon.tv
Omg. Canceled his credit card 🤣🤣🤣. Priceless!!! I've been watching your material for about a week and my abbs are starting to show. Keep it up👍
U rockkkk
Okinawan families do this too. Grandpa: First knuckle” Me: ah… first knuckle what? Grandpa: “Measure first knuckle.” Me: Ah… let’s see, that’s about half an inch… ah… is that from the base of the pot or top of the rice? Grandpa: “Why you make this hard?”
I showed my mom this video. She didn't notice or think anything was wrong with Aunt Shirin's instructions. I had to just walk away.
Caribbean folks know about Tadig! We call it something else but it’s fought over at the dinner table 🤣the cook gets first dibs😉
“He sounds like Aladdin” HAHA
The tahdig thing was so true. My grandma always hide it and wait until everyone gets full and suddenly she bring the pot and shows the TAHDIG . 😂🤩
Omg this is sooooo true 😂😂😂 my mother in law gives the vaguest cooking advice for the Persian dishes!!! They have yet to turn out right. I think she’s hazing me 😂 I just want the tahdig
Omg I am laughing so hard at his aunt's instructions because that is 100% accurate.
As a half Persian myself I love and miss the food and music It's not easy to find a Persian restaurant Thank you!! You're always making me 😄
I love how you said aunt in persian and cursed in persian lmao
OMG I'm turkish and that's exactly how my mother gives recipies! I gave up after some point and now I google everything :D
Oha Turk buldum. Benimki de ayni jffjdjfjfjfj
“Tanks God!” 🤣
Exactly right😂😂😂 my brother-in-law’s mother 🙄 we called her (Mama Bozorg) spent a year here in like...1977. Never dropped in a single time that she didn’t run to the refrigerator and bring out 15 things to eat!! Best year of my life! She brought the sister-in-law along who weighed like 108# when she came and like 285# when she left. 😱. She wanted me to teach her to do “the bump” (dance) that ended when she got those hips moving and knocked me across the room. Ahh yes...those were fun times!
The first time I was asking my older sister (on the phone) about the amount of water she replied...enghadr! (this much), I know she was holding up her finger while talking to me!
😂😂😂😂
Cute persian guy with cute persian accent that cooks persian food.😍😍😍😻💋💋💋
You had me rolling with laughter once again, as I watched this clip!🤣 Making Persian rice (with tahdig...) is an art form - so is the proper preparation of it! Being of Swedish origin (and getting the approval of Persians...), I knew once and for all that I'd finally mastered the technique. Persian food is delicious and takes forever to prepare - while it spends only a second in the mouth... (...and You were right on point with the non-descriptive "instructions", my friend!😂)
you can tell who is raised by an asian mom and who isn't by their reaction to "the finger technique" no measuring lines or cups ever needed, all you need is that tip of your finger. Place it on top of the rice and fill the amount of water until it touches that first line of your finger. Doesn't matter pot size or amount of rice, perfect water to rice ratio.
It’s the same thing with my persian mom😩her cooking is literal perfection but she can’t teach me at alllll.
I am an indian and loving your natural comedy . U r so best ! U r funny , awsm observer damn !
I have actually no words for how Good you are dear Kvon! You are the best and we are all very very proud of you! We need you and we love you!
lol! Latinos also love tadig, different places diff names such as concon or quemao
i wish we had churros in iran!
Those are amazing too!
Lol quemao legit means burnt, my mom calls it pegou? Prob not studying that right but yeah it's delicious
love from China!Persian, cool.
Dude , you should come to Lebanon! Love your work .
europe first! come to a show www.kvon.tv
I concur!!
Loved this story! It's very relatable to what you said about how the best cooks don't know how to give good cooking instructions. I'm Puerto Rican and the only way I was able to learn how to cook from my Grandma was for me to pay very close attention when she was cooking. Interrupting her to ask questions was pointless because she would just keep moving to the next step without stopping 😂
What a fun king comedian 😂I am binge watching you 😅
I'm Lebanese, and what he says about us cooking but not teaching is so true!
As I remember my father has called me *pedar sag*... Im 16 and he still calls me... 😂😂. Pedar sag is habitual phrase of the iranian fathers... 😉
Thank you sooo much. Loved this. Again
So happy I found your videos!
Burnt rice it's called "concón" here in Dominican and it's the best thing ever!
And...... it's not called burnt rice it's called crispy rice I've always told friends over the years it's like Persian french fries that's one of the best parts♡♡♡♡♡♡
tadeeg= crispy rice yummmm
I loved thisss! I'm laughing so hard rn! Also it was really funny how you mixed the persian accent with a russian one.
I don't care what ethnicity or race or color anyone is!!! Comedy is the best medicine!!! I'm Romanian and I love watching Romanian comedians with my dad. It doesn't matter what skin color or race as long as we can all come together and just let lose and have a good laugh. Not that were actually laughing at someone but just have a good old fun time together!!! Love everyone!!! ❤️
I've never been happier that I've learned Farsi!
One of my best friends growing up always used to have me over for dinner and his mom would cook for us. They're Persian, and I remember the first time I ever tried Tahdig. It was so good that every time I was there after that, any time they cooked, his mom made sure to cook a little rice so I could have some Tahdig. Best thing in the world.
Cooking instructor: "Keep adding salt until you hear a voice in your head saying, " STOP".
Man you are crazy 😂😂😂 I've never loughed like this before 😂😂😂
He's so funny😂😂😂😂😂my stomach hurts from laughing so much 😂
spanish people have this too it's called con-con and it's the best part of the rice so I get exactly what he's saying
K-Vopn says "how much water" and my FINGER shot up in the air! 😂🤣✌👌