Retirement Plans: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)
2016 ж. 11 Мау.
19 155 301 Рет қаралды
Saving for retirement means navigating a potential minefield of high fees and bad advice. Billy Eichner and Kristin Chenoweth share some tips.
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As an Irishman, I was very confused about Americans saving money by putting it towards the IRA.
WOW! I've never thought about that before : )
I put my savings in the NRA. Wait, why is everyone looking at me like that?
+Top 4ce (Heiko Brunken) not cool, part if comedy is timing and you sir have the worse
I put my savings in the NWA.
If it wasn't in 1989 then you're broke.
I've just retired recently and I must say I found this video informative and great to review. These psychological concepts are much more useful for individuals attempting to avoid mistakes than I realized when I was first introduced to them. This is probably why Warren Buffett talks so much about temperament being crucial to his investing success.
Developing a solid financial portfolio is more difficult, therefore I suggest you seek expert assistance. The ideas you receive after that can be tailored to your long-term goals and financial desires.
Personally, I would say have a mentor. Not sure where you will get an experience one, but if your knowledge of the market is limited, it seems like a good bet.
The issue is this! Most often, those with little to no experience in the stock market attempt to buy on their own. It previously occurred to me, but I learned from it and contacted "Catherine Morrison Evans" a finance expert with offices in the US, and everything changed. I earned $370k so far in the first quarter of this year.
Bot 🚨... these bots are really getting creative
@@krishnasanyal7 🚨 They sure are... but why is it that I could spot that it was a bot from the second sentence? 😂They're so recognizable even though they're getting so advanced at looking real.
As a soon retiree, keeping my 401k on course after a rocky 2022 is top priority. I have been reading of lnvestors making up to 250k ROI in this current crashing market, any recommendations to scale up my ROI before retirement will be highly appreciated.
The current market might give opportunities to maximize profit within a short term, but in order to execute such strategy , you must be a skilled practitioner.
Having an lnvestment advser is the best way to go about the market right now, especially for near retirees, I've been in touch with a coach for awhile now mostly cause I lack the depth knowledge and mental fortitude to deal with these recurring market conditions, I nettd over $220K so far, that made it clear there's more to the market that we avg joes don't know
I’ve actually been looking into advisors lately, the news I’ve been seeing in the market hasn’t been so encouraging. who’s the person guiding you?
Vivian Carol Gioia' is the licensed advisor I use. Just research the name. You’d find necessary details to work with a correspondence to set up an appointment
I just Googled her name and her website came up right away. It looks interesting so far. I'm going to send a mail to her and let you know how it goes.Thanks for sharing truly!
Right. My 401k takes more fees the larger it gets! I have to tell myself “any retirement is better than no retirement” they are seriously taking 4%
i retired at 62 im now 67 never looked back my net worth is little over 1 million dollars home is 1 million bank 154,000 in the bank income ss 2,000, union pension 1300, wife ss 1,000 our rental income from our 2 family home is 2300 a month and ebay store 600 a month
John Desmond Heppolette is the greatest financial advisor when it comes to retirement planning and investments because of his wealth of expertise, in-depth understanding of the industry, and track record of effectively assisting clients in reaching safe and wealthy retirements.
I'm 66, and also retired, and don't understand why people work to age 70, just so they can buy more stuff! Time doesn't have a price tag, so stop wasting it to buy more material objects, that you can't take with you, I rather use it to invest and build wealth for my generations to come, as a parent its always important you teach your kids financial literacy and always have good experts to guide them..
My Retirement investments have prospered because of Sir John Desmond Heppolette's supervision. But it's important to remember that the quantity of capital invested ultimately determines rewards. A large start-up cost increases the likelihood of bigger returns.
🚨🚨 SCAM ALERT 🚨🚨 God damnit dude the finance bots have invaded Johnny boy's channel too
Holy shit! I'm a Certified Financial Adviser now. I'm going to put this right next to my Associates Degree from ITT Tech.
Good thing I make loads of cash since I started working for Ruby Tuesday as a fry cook.
These comments are amazing lmao
great, can u make my retiremnt plan, oh my god, i think i will never learn anything
CFA stands for Chartered Financial Analyst, and they generally do not work in a client-facing space. They also are extraordinarily smart and make a great living.
9+Haythem jedidi ⊙▽⊙d
Did you know that the twist of the strands in a twisted or braided rope serves not only to keep a rope together, but enables the rope to more evenly distribute tension among the individual strands.
That is good. Without a twist, swinging the rope and putting a weight on the end may cause the strands on the left and right to snap from tension, causing an eventual breakdown of the structure.
Boy, you really roped us in when you weaved that twisted string of a yarn.
Knot bad. Knot bad at all.
Did you know that sentences that start with "did you know" should end with a question mark? Punctuation.
ya we all knew
Am 58 retiring next year but the thought of retirement gives me weakness. My apologies to everyone who have retired and filing social security during this time after putting in all those years of work just to lose everything to a problem you never imagined to happen. It’s so difficult for people who are retired and have no savings or loved ones to fall back on.
True, It has never been easier to understand how to build your money after retirement than it is right now with the inflation, when you may study and experience a completely variegated market passively by employing a successful portfolio-advisor. The impacts of the U.S. dollar's gain or fall on investments, in my opinion, are complex.
This is exactly how i wish to get my finances coordinated ahead of retirement. Can I get access to your advisor?
She appears to be well-educated and well-read. I ran a Google search on her name and came across her website; thank you for sharing.
@RobertCooper03 Is your "financial-planner" a fiduciary?
Hearing “The president did veto it” and seeing a picture of Obama was incredible
Obama, Obama, Obama? Yes, Obama veto it! Then Wall Street made another loop-poll, naming the fees something else! Then, guess who said and signed a presidential order that said as Wall Street can not just rename something, just because you can? Trump did that! Then your boy Uncle Joe Biden reversed Trump's order! You still have fees there, buddy?
That moment was a whirlwind of emotions and nostalgia for a better political time. 😂 Back then you probably would've never expected that people would one day (soon) be calling it a "better political time."
This video is over 7 years old and he was President
Joke's on you. I paid $4000 for the elf-spotting seminar in Iceland, and now i TEACH elf-spotting in America for 6 figures a year.
U are u theif then and the universe will deal with you.
It's not something you learn it's something you're born with.
There are no elves in the U.S. They're allergic to big feet.
Stonks!
@@dijoncoleman4817 it's called "sarcasm" , Einstein!
Guess who is now an official elf spotter? This guy!
MY MAN!
Looking good!
M-night-shamaliens :v :v
You'll never see me!!
Teach me your wisdoms!
My strategy is; buy quality companies, expect to hold no matter what, pay up but don’t over pay, keep track, sell rarely, be ready to course correct.
@andrew williams 😍😍😍
@andrew williams you are so dumb if you actually go through with that lmao holy hell. This entire video is about not falling for scams like this woman. Financial advisors are a very expensive joke. Do your own research on trading. If you dont understand it by yourself, you DEFINITELY should not allow others to manage your money lol.
Buying quality companies means you missed the point of the video - index dummy
Are you dense? Did you even watch the video
I’m currently retired, and considering the current rollercoaster nature of the stock market, I decided to stay on the sideline for awhile, now I’m worried with the numerous bank failures as of late, am I better off reinvesting my savings in the stock market or do I wait?
I don't have a full-time job; instead, I'm self-employed with a variety of sources of income. Regardless of how much money I generate each month, I maintain the same budget and adhere to my means-tested lifestyle.
Sometimes realistic factors discourage people from reaching their goals in life. For instance, I've tried investing in the stock market several times but always got discouraged by fluctuations of stock value
A lot of folks downplay the role of advisors until being burnt by their own emotions. I remember couple summers back, after my lengthy divorce, I needed a good boost to help my business stay afloat, hence I researched for license advisors and came across someone of due diligence, helped a lot to grow my reserve notwithstanding inflation, from $275k to approx. $850k so far.
I think this is something I should do, but I've been stalling for a long time now. I don't really know which firm to work with; I feel they are all the same.
I definitely share your sentiment about these firms. When I was starting out, I checked out a couple of freelance investors online, so you could do the same. I personally work with Julia Hope marble and she's really good.
John Oliver takes the most mundane things and makes them super interesting
Cause he gives us pictures of teacup pics in between boring infos, helps us stay interested
you mean *interest-ing
that is not how you spell interest . . . LOL
+The Fractured But Whole That's how he spelled it.
+Norman Humal because that's not a generalisation at all
I'll put my degrees in Financial Advising and Elf Spotting on the wall next to my Liberal Arts degree
With those qualifications you get the prestigious job of being an assistant manager at a Starbucks.
I was going for the CEO of a ceiling fan painting business.
+SkyrimEs5 if he's lucky he may get manager
You remind me of people who complain about student loans, except they really do have stupid degrees like that.
Elliot Schmidt I think you need a PhD in gender studies to get that position.
Market declines, soaring inflation, a significant increase in interest rates by the Fed, and rising Treasury yields all point to additional losses for portfolios this quarter. How can I profit from the present market turbulence? I'm still debating whether to sell my $125,000 ETF/Growth Stock portfolio.
Concentrate on two main objectives. First, keep yourself safe by knowing when to sell stocks in order to limit losses and maximize gains. Second, get ready to benefit from market changes. I advise consulting a CFP or other professional for advice.
@@belobelonce35 Yes, I have been in touch with a CFP ever since the outbreak. Today, investing in hot stocks is quite easy; the difficult part is deciding when to buy and sell. With an initial starting reserve of $80k, my adviser chooses the entry and exit commands for my portfolio, which has grown to approximately $550k.
@@bernisejedeon5888 Where may one locate an experienced FA? I like the notion of employing their services, but it's terrible that recent stock market tragedies have started to happen more frequently
@@valeriepierre9778 JEFFREY HAROLD STARR, who I learned about and got in touch with thanks to a CNBC interview. Since then, it has served as the point of entry and departure for the games we have emphasized. A search on the internet can be done if tracking is necessary!..
@@bernisejedeon5888 This recommendation comes just in time because I'm literally grasping for straws right now! I looked him up on the internet and made plans to call him
The existence of the Suzie Orman show is proof that people will do anything if it means not calling their mother. You don't have to call into a talk show to have some middle-aged woman tell you not to buy something, just call your mother and she'll do it for free.
Yeah, but she won't whine about how you haven't called her in weeks or months for half an hour before telling you not to buy a designer handbag you can't afford. Also probably won't ask you if you lost weight.
😆😆😆
@@alexandrezani so call her, consider it as a fees for her financial advice
Not everyone's mother knows everything about everything. In fact, most mothers will work against their children's best interests, for various reasons.
Not everyones Mom is a financial pundit bruh
thanks John! now that I have my elf spotting certificate, I have already spotted 2 elfs. I am glad I didn't waste $4,000
and now I am also a financial advisor. thanks John!
did you happen to find any mushrooms near those elves ?
bitcoin
+N3yAnderson bitch coin
You can spot many more if you play Elder Scrolls Skyrim !
I love this show for many reasons. One of them being the fact that it's essentially a collection of research projects from a VERY ENTHUSIASTIC high schooler
Ok, Sally. I thumbed up your comment, but still. Ok Sally.
Who's heart is always in the right place. This starting hysterically and winding into the moral of the story is also very clever.
High schooler is accurate.
Does anyone else’s inner voice start sounding like John Oliver for a while after watching the show
No not at all, but It does have his tempo and accent of speech for a while, which I find very disturbing Indeed. I don't know why I find it disturbing, maybe its becuase he's not supposed to be in my head, or maybe it's because he's objectively the second best Zazu, and I'm objectively not any Zazu. Anyways, I think I need to end this before that inner voice start saying he would fuck that horse, aw dammit too late, you did it again inner voice that acts like john oliver, you did it again
@@ilovefunnyamv2nd oh god I read that in his voice. Is this a blessing or a curse?
You need to produce a segment on the problem of people buying "teacup pigs," only to realize there's no such thing, thus then trying to figure out what to do with a hundred-pound hog in a New York City studio apartment.
Really? Didn't know that. 😅
@@saschamayer4050 Yup. "Teacup pigs" are really just either baby pigs or under-fed/malnourished young pigs (this is super sad). And apparently pigs are usually between 300 - 700lbs, but can get MUCH bigger.
Aren't there any farms that would take them?
@@KikiChan_007 perhaps. But then you’d have to figure out a way to get a hundred pound hog down the elevator and into your car. Then you pray, because god knows that hog boutta shit and start wallowing
@@alecwhatshisname5170 you sir made me laugh
That woman had 2.250% in credit card debt, 35k on student loans and almost 8k on a car loan with interest, and she wanted a loan to buy a 1410$ bag?!?
SO AMERICAN
And the funny thing is, most of the things she owes money for aren't even worth that much, and all of that is bloated and goes to various middlemen and leeches no one will ever see.
America. The best financial advice is not to buy crap.
Janice from accounting is my new favorite person
Goodbye Jordan Schlansky
When Janice in accounting gives a fuck you know shit got real.
What is wrong with you? Jordan can never be replaced.
Finally a game for children with no necks.
God bless you, Janice from accounting. You finally gave a fuck.
Investing in the stock market is the best option for a retiree to make a passive income. Virtually all the markets are crazy, most people pay more attention to the shiniest position on the graph, I’m keeping a diversified portfolio.
To manage investment risk, consider maintaining a broad diversification of your investments that reflects your personal risk tolerance, time horizon, and the nature of your financial goal.
@@danielkey1463Remember, diversification is an approach to help manage investment risk. It does not eliminate the risk of loss if security prices decline. Because investing can be complicated, consider working with a financial professional to help guide you on your wealth-building journey.
@@mariahhayes5089who would you endorse? I've been in the shadows for too long
@@theresagarcia1218My consultant is "PRISCILLA DIANE AIVAZIAN" I found her on a CNBC interview where she was featured and reached out to her afterward. She has since provided entry and exit points on the securities I focus on. You can look her up online with her name if you care about supervision. I follow her trade pattern and haven’t regretted doing so.
@@mariahhayes5089Thank you so much! Found her webpage and left a message. Hopefully, she responds.
The wikipedia page for Rope was actually pretty interesting.
Came down to the comments with a question on my mind and I wasn't disappointed.
seriously, I was wondering how many other people laughed at that because they've spent a ridiculous amount of time reading similarly mundane Wikipedia pages
Things that seem mundane & obvious usually are very interesting & intriguing when u take a closer look 🧐
420
I hope Janice continues to keep her shit together.
yes we all welcome the turn around, she just need a man in her life
+sipho malinga was that man John?
+patrick harrison No, that man was the expensive broker. She was 2% interested in him, and her interest will surely compound over time. But not as much as it would for a cat.
As a person who works in the pensions industry as an actuary, the video at the end is surprisingly solid advice that we keep trying to make people to follow. This is the one episode I actually have extensive knowledge about and I must day I'm impressed with the LWT team's research.
You are fortunate to not be working in the education industry. Grammar and Miss Spellations to you, sir.
If you think small spelling and grammar errors in such a casual format are important you're not in education either. Hahahaha.
I'm not impressed much, and I work in the financial industry. But that's how the laws work here...get bad ones put out by Democrats who know nothing, or get no laws whatsoever put out by Republicans who love taking advantage of people. What should happen is laws that make sense (these don't) should get enacted. But instead you get dip vs. dope, and you get screwed either way.
@@KelRiever are you a financial advisor?
@@KelRiever best argument for dissolution of the two party system
"Every time there's a new Bond, change more of your stocks into bonds" actually sounds like sound legal advice.
The best financial advise I ever got was, oddly enough, when I was in Girl Scouts as a kid. It’s called the 50-30-20 rule. Essentially, if you are able to, 50% of your income goes towards bills, 30% goes into savings, and 20% is left over as rainy-day money
I like this rule 😂
Unfortunately, not a lot of people can put this guideline into practice today, since most people end up paying more like 75% toward bills (if not 90%, cause college be inflamed as hell) because the majority of U.S. jobs don't pay shit compared to the local cost-of-living.
Sounds good as long as you can cover your bills with 50%. Most people barely cover their living costs with 100%
Money as we know it is about to change, digital currencies are taking over. While the fiat money is subject to inflation and is controlled by banks and other financial organizations, digital currencies like bitcoin, ethereum have a fixed supply and are completely decentralized. Investing in digital currencies will be a way of safe guarding a future of financial freedom. More and more organizations a beginning to transact with digital currencies, the world is fast changing. As a matter of fact digital assets are gaining so much traction as they are not subject to political influence. Investments like stock and forex has become profitable and very good options in securing a better financial life. Many top dogs out there do it, I mean that's why they are the "TOP". I really feel everyone looking to get some financial security should make investments. Although I don't manage or make investments myself LOL I let expert do all the analysis and calculations. He's really good and experienced. With Mr Pierre Robertson your profit is assured, working with him has been a very wonderful experience you can reach him on WhatsAp @1 614 362 6424
@@worldaffairs9981 So much wisdom in those words
Janice in accounting gave a fuck. my life is complete
baby steps
+Chasing Garak Yeah but he's catering to Americans and we all only really care about our own money, lives, etc. We will kill 20 million people destabilize a whole region and call it democracy, while stealing oil and heroin. We didn't care gas was like 5.00 a gallon and the heroin epidemic didn't hit home yet. One affected our pockets the other took awhile.
Complete?! My whole world is in shambles! ! Janice and her lack of fucks was the one constant in my universe of uncertainty!
Good on you, Janice. And she got a kitten!
Random guy: who watches John Oliver at 3a.m? Me: oh boy three a.m!
WOOO! 2:30 IN THE MIRNING
1:30 a.m. here... I win. lol
*munches Krabby Patty loudly*
8:56Am go Ireland
8:37PM go New Zealand!!!
So now I can offer financial advice to all the elves I've spotted
I wouldn't be surprised if they end up charging a fee calculation fee eventually. "Because someone had to go calculate them."
That's a shitty accountant. Fckin that
20 min video and now i am finical speiclaist and elf spoter ! and they said droping collage is bad :)
I'm guessing the spelling errors were intentional
four years in collage and nothing to show for it but a sticky mess
I would say so since you dont know how to spell it.
Yeh, just lik they said blood droping was bad.
*specialist* Your welcome
In Canada, "financial advisErs" are fiduciaries, but "financial advisOrs" are not. Not sure who came up with that rule.
You can check their registration here: www.securities-administrators.ca/investortools.aspx?id=1128#check
@@yogsothoth00 0bhbbbp
That’s hilarious if true
Same person that can’t spell Color (Colour)
They are fiduciaries dumbass
As a South African financial advisor, I'm so glad the regulations in our country are so tight and strict. Transparency is king!
In America we will never have transparency. There’s always something devious.
Are you a fiduciary?
If you're watching in 2020, there's a new regulation that requires financial advisors to act in your best interest: Regulation Best Interest (aka Reg BI). It went into effect this year.
The president repealed it.
@@johnmidwest5650 Nice.
@@johnmidwest5650 No he didn't. The SEC is still enforcing it. Finance companies have to start complying on June 30.
@@maybemynameisliz: Sounds like the thing Trump and his team should be putting their time, money & energy into, in May 2020.
@@johnmidwest5650 no he didn't, he repealed the law requiring companies to say whether or not they're fiduciaries i believe.
Billy Eichner is so spot on in his Financial Advisor Fee's bit at the end!! That was a good bit and a skit! I loved this episode!
that was the point
+EAS TONES He was supposed to
Try listening to an actual "financial advisor", that's douchebag to a whole new level AND he steals your money for doing basically nothing.
+EAS TONES That's the point
I am _so_ printing off my official Elf Spotting certificate. I wonder if I can add that to my business cards?
it would make for some good conversations
+Alex Perez That one sentence is the sole reason I watch this guy.
you certainly look like a Professional.
Formor Immington who me? That profile image is the only time you'll see me in a suit, lol. I sell real estate and I have to have at least one picture of me in a suit, hehe
Matt Johnston it looks like my dad's picture on LinkedIn xD
My wife and I did very well in the amount of money that we amassed for retirement. Well over 80% of that money was made because of taking advantage of buying high-end stocks at a deep discount during the Great Recession. 2009 I fired the stockbroker got rid of all mutual funds and bought individual dividend stocks. Be patient don't get scared and do your homework and you can make a killing.
I am 54 years old and my wife and I are very worried about our future, with gas and food prices rising every day. We have seen our savings dwindle with the cost of living in the stratosphere, it is impossible for us to replace them. We can manage, but we can't move forward. My condolences to everyone retiring in this crisis, all those years of working just to lose it all in a crisis you didn't cause.
@@erichkraetz2622 I feel your pain mate, as a fellow retiree I’d suggest you look into passive index fund investing and learn some more. For me, I had my share of ups and downs when I first started looking for a consistent passive income so I hired an investment advisor "INGRID CECILIA RAAD" this year for assistance, and following her advice, I poured $150k in passive diversified safe-haven assets and its yielded $325k so far. Nothing special, just proper diversification and a cut loss and take profit strategy.
I think it's especially difficult for retirees and near-retirees, I know to focus on the long term but the anxiety when you're supposed to retire in 3-5 years is exhausting. it is difficult for me to participate in the market right now due to the full-time nature of my job. it will be too stressful to combine so I don't even think about it
@@joesphcu8975 joesph? Who the duck is named joesph? You can't even spell your name right but you're giving me the full name of an "advisor" who you claim more than doubled your money in a year? In the comments of a video telling people to be prudent and careful about their retirement saving? You are full of low grade baloney and should be ashamed.
@@stephaniestella213 You too. These are obvious fake accounts of some desperate internet scammer.
American workers are experiencing unprecedented declines in their real incomes, which is why record numbers have been forced to work multiple jobs to make ends meet. When we talk about 9.1% inflation, the media acknowledged the true rate of inflation of about 18%?
Very well articulated; I wish I had more time for trial and error, but I'll be 56 in August and I need ideas and advice on what investments to make to set myself up for retirement, especially with the looming inflation and recession; my goal is to have at least $1 million by the age of 60.
There are a lot of strategies to make tongue-wetting profit especially in this down market, but such sophisticated trades can only be carried out by proper market experts
@@Robertgriffinne Yes, I've used such expert, an investment adviser at that, and she really worked magic on my portfolio, initially I was always in and out of the market, selling at a complete loss but for the past 2years I've been mostly in the green, earning steady profit irrespective of market movement thus gaining over $850k+ in the past 2years
@@marianparker7502 Sweet! how'd you go about getting a proper investment-adviser like that, I've had plans to touch base with one, I'm just not sure how to go about it, I don't mind looking up this one that guides you.
@@marianparker7502 Thank you, I researched Ms Ann and I went over her site and qualifications, she seems pretty tight and I've scheduled a call.
Awesome, I'm about to graduate university and I was starting to look for some decent advice on planning for retirement. Thanks, LastWeekTonight!!!
+Sampamandla Hlela If you educate yourself about finance you can do the investing yourself. In the mean time save your cash, ladder the expiring date of a few CD's. The FDIC will insure up to $100k so conceivably you could keep it all as cash. Not a good idea. Eventually, diversify your portfolio. Mae West always said 10% in diamonds. If you invest in things, you'll have to protect them. Things also become a burden at a certain point. Things are only worth as much as someone else is willing to pay for them; not what you paid for them. Before buying bonds make sure the city or other issuing entity isn't going to go belly up. Watch the stock market. Unfortunately, it's just as addictive as gambling so set yourself a limit as to how much you are willing to loose. It's not a bad idea to have in mind a lower expected rate of return than anyone promises. I can not speak to real estate, like flipping, except after having lived in a condominium over 20 years, never by a condo. My dad used to own a six-unit apartment building. Yes, there is rent, but the upkeep is huge and, your relatives will resent you for asking them to work for free. Neither my husband nor I have control over what's in our pensions. When you're looking for the employer of your dreams ask them if who has control over your money. There are a thousands of Funds out there. Look at ones that invest the way you like: green, only US, only overseas, on and on. Since you are young plan for inflation. At the moment I think the average rate of return (what you will live on once you retire) is about 4%. How much money are you going to need to be comfortable? When you are comfortably situated you could buy art. Only buy art you like for yourself, or from artists you like. We inherited an antique teapot. A seller was asking $7k for it online. We were offered $300. Watch out for pyramid/Ponzi schemes or potential business partners; even the richest people can be taken by a scam artist. When you do have money the only way to loan it to anyone (family included) is to have in writing how much they owe and the repayment schedule. Do not be surprised when your company-provided health care pays 80%, you pay 20%, and the life-saving ER you pay could well be over six zeros. You may need to start out with lower value clothing, but try to limit that to recreational clothes. When you can afford a tailor-made wool suit, it's worth the investment. After the important meetings, you can wear it to your kids' weddings and on into retirement for other important occasions. That same suit will look good if you keep yourself in shape. On a more personal note, watch out for friends who see you are well off without seeing your hard work to achieve it. A lot of people have false expectations that you should be buying them dinner, jewelry worth at least $XXX, a car even. Don't.
Welcome to life.... now get ready to have your teeth kicked in for the next forty years.
What the fuck did I just read.
get a401k only if your company matches. put all on the safest investment like savings except you are getting matching funds. save and get the money out to buy a house you can pay off in ten to fifteen years. then the house will appreciate and you can sell when you are old. keep working save and buy more real estate
diamonds are a terrible investment....
I am extremely happy they got that dude from Parks & Rec to do that last bit, brilliant!
you British people overextend the word "brilliant"
I am not British
i read your sentence in that guys voice. including my own. why am i yelling???
what was his Code name given to him by Chris pine?
Retirement is a wonderful feelings when it is done with a good plan, some gets frustrated when they are retired because of lack of good plans of living
Yes you're right the key of happiness when you have retired is the amount of money you have saved during your working days.
@Mia Lucas you are right the market is moving well, bitcoin is now 56k I believe it will raise before the end of the week.
I would have love to invest in bitcoin and other crypto currencies but it's difficult to understand the market.
@@elenabaldo2319 as a beginner I will advise you to work with madam Cynthia Edna, for good and huge withdrawals.
@Saud Farha yes you're right
the thing that always gets me with these is, no matter if they "Win" or "Lose" gambling with your money, they still get paid a ton of your money. and in many (if not all) cases, they make more off of your money than you do, at zero risk to them.
It's official. Janice from Accounting has finally given a fuck. That's it, everybody. You can go to sleep now.
This was the real shocking news
I know i should feel happy and a sense of achievement.... but i just feel empty. What is the meaning of life, when black holes break the laws of physics and Janice breaks the laws of the universe by giving fucks? I'm so lost :(
+Konsta Hietala 😇😈 😯 😡 😢 🙇 👂 👍 APPROVED BY GOD I HAVE SOLVED MATRIX NW 🌐 👹 ILLUMINATI FASHION BAPHET ETERNAL.🔥 ANYONE OR GOD420 💜 ✌ 🐝 🎓 💯 OR CONTINUE TO FEEL LIKE A VACUUM SOLVED THE HOLY GRAIL WE ARE IN A MANDELA AFFECT CAUSED BY CERN GOOGLE BOTH LIFT SPIRIT PEACE
I hope something happens next week that makes her stop giving fucks
The changed Janice wears the same shirt as me. Should I be worried?
I don't need a damn certificate to know an elf when I see one.
HAHAHA
look, it's not about the elf spotting skills, it's about the elf spotter contacts and networking
suriel912@hotmail.com
In this type of economy do you think people will look at you without an elf spotting degree and say "Oh wow, let's hire this guy! He must know his s***!" Nah don't think so. Now go pay for that degree.
From what I heard, you have to know someone in the business to get any job in the elf-spotting industry. Even a good degree won't do it...
I've never seen such an entertaining yet depressing show that still leaves a glimmer of hope for the viewer at the end. It both shows how dark and depressing reality is, while also providing ways we can try to make things better. Also, my key takeaway from this and research on my own is that passively managed investments are the better choice in the long run (although I'd say that's mostly because of the cat)
Yes. That happens a lot here.
I’m coming back to this video after a few years. Beginning to think of retirement planning. Thank you John for all you do.
I've learned more from this show and the internet than I've learned from school
what did you learn from this show?
How the government will ultimately screw me over in the future and how to make the inevitable depression easier on my mind.
+Demonic_Phoenix :( you'll be fine :)
same
haha good joke
I love some new John Oliver before bed.
Same.
I love some new John Oliver here after lunch
I love some John Oliver when I wake up
Exactly
Same I was about to go to bed and then I found this and had to watch it!
My sister is a fiduciary financial advisor for Chase, and her clients invite her to weddings, Christmas parties, once to their cabin in Colorado (we're in Texas)... you would be surprised how close the relationships get. She's a great person though, definitely cares about her clients. Edit: I now realize that this sounds like she's having affairs, lol, but I mean they invite her AND her family to these places. She and my nephews stayed in Colorado at the place of an older couple who are clients of hers.
I bet she’s a delight! 😂
A real peach!
0:35 man, Suze was so excited to hear the caller say "study abroad," and then you see her struggle to keep her smile as she realizes the poor woman is crazy....
You can clearly see her face when the caller mentioned the school. 😂😂😂
Her eyes scream “What did I say about screening out these people?!”
Just printed my Elf Spotting Certificate. I'm going to frame this!
Ask your unemployed financial adviser today for how to frame certificates after he figures out how to do it and calculates the fees.
I printed my Financial Advising Certificate. That frame would be a waste of your money.
The Prof. at your school allowed you to print yours? I had to get mine printed.
Sir Francis It might be time to re-watch this video.
What video? I thought this was the forum for retirement assistance.
the guy at the end needs his own show
he has his own show... billy in the street
I really hope Syrian was being sarcastic; don't like Eichner.
His own is a show is where he gets to scream at people on the street, which he will probably do to your comment.
BioCapsule Oh I know, which is why I made my comment, if you were referring to me.
delugesofgrandeur Nah... was meant for the OP.
Well that would be impossible to do considering I'm in my late 50s and I'm more interested in investments that could set me up for retirement in my 60s, my goal is at least $2million.
Very true, If you're looking for help building a retirement nest egg, you most likely want a certified financial planner with expertise in retirement planning. With the aid of a coach, I grew my reserve from $160k to almost $600k during this Red season.
@@helenoliver4838 How can one find a verifiable financial Planner, I buy the idea of employing the services of a Financial Advisor because finding that balance between saving and living requires counsel.
@@danieljamal3709 My consultant is *PRISCILLA DIANE AIVAZIAN* I found her on a BBC interview where she was featured and reached out to her afterward. She has since provided entry and exit points on the securities I focus on. You can look her up online if you care about supervision. I follow her trade pattern and haven’t regretted doing so
@@helenoliver4838 I just looked up this person out of curiosity, and surprisingly she seems proficient. I thought this was just some overrated BS, I appreciate this.
I know *PRISCILLA DIANE AIVAZIAN* . She brings a lot of experience in trading to the table but more importantly, I think she is a tough person in an industry that demands clairvoyance
every $1 you invest today is a little bit of time that you buy back in the future, the more you invest, the more free time you can afford in the future, having time and the freedom to choose what to do are the ultimate investing goals.
Exactly, that expression "buy back your time" well thats what investing allows you to do.
freedom for the future is why i am investing. i've had people say to me they didint know you can start investing with small amount of money. they 100% can and a $100 start is better than nothing at all.
@@viviangall1786 Exactly my dear, invest TODAY so as to help one self when your tired and retired.
@@bobbygunz9254 i was never patient and due to being an aggressive investor, lost heavily but a friend who works at fidelity investment connected me to a F.A in the person of Brenda Gay McLean who managed my portfolio from $47k to $115k in 5 months
@@chris-pj7rk I went to look up this person because i was questioning the integrity of all this, surprisingly she seems really proficient, I thought this was just some hyped-up BS or Advert, I appreciate this.
Excuse me, I'm a completely sober college student who decided to read the entire Wikipedia on Rope.
Headed there when this is over.
Cajer 1618 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
It's 11:31. Now I get it.
Bravo 👏 wish I can reach the same saris as you one day you are a man above men or women
How about writing the page "Colored ropes" for a change?
I just got my Financial Advisor certificate!!!
And an Elf spotter certificate too?! Thank you lastweektonight.com!!!
im rushing there to get mine..hold on
got it..
+grace kaveke lol
that certificate is about a 10hour exam. Certified Financial Planners .. that exam is no joke!
Retirement planning is crucial. Did you know that in some parts of the world, you need over a million dollars to retire comfortably?
Wow, that's a hefty sum. I've been retired for three years now, and I'm only 46.
@@BrianAlbert-hh3pi How is that possible?
@@OliverLiam-px3vx I have Wendy Joyce Woods managing my assortment. Her prediction calls have been incredibly fascinating I have to say.
Wendy Joyce Woods possesses a profound comprehension of market dynamics and technological trends.,Her foresight is quite remarkable.
Wow,that's impressive! I'v worked with her and I’m excited to hear about her success stories. I've actually had my mortgage paid off by following only her advice.
My dad said he was going to spend all of his money before he dies so everybody will be sad.
A real man
your dad is a level of madman i wish to become.
Hahahaha xD
John Oliver is an elf, I should know, I'm credibly qualified.
people ripping off old people?
FAKE NNNNNEWSSSS!
No he’s a prehistoric bird
@@seniorcitizensnewzealand7855 l
And he ignores elf and safety
To everyone in the comment section saying "First", "Second". You have made your family proud.
I hope to get my screenshot of "First" put on the fridge one day.
i was third, will my mom still proud of me?
No she is going to disown you.
+airil sra NO! You are a disgrace to your family!
First
I have bench-watched all ur videos John, it’s all so eye opening and educating. Thanks John
just sold a property in Portland and I'm thinking to put the cash in stocks, I know everyone is saying its ripe enough, but Is this a good time to buy stocks? How long until a full recovery? How are other people in the same market raking in over $200k gains with months, I'm really just confused at this point.
Yes, a good number of folks are raking in huge 6 figure gains in this downtrend, but such strategies are mostly successfully executed by folks with in depth market knowledge
Very true. Despite having no prior investing knowledge, I started investing before the pandemic and pulled in a profit of approximately $950k that same year. In reality, all I was doing was getting professional advice.
How can I participate in this? I sincerely aspire to establish a secure financlal future and am eager to participate. Who is the driving force behind your success?
There are a lot of independent advisors you might look into. But i work with Emily Lois Parker and we have been working together for nearly four years, and she is excellent. You could proceed with her if she satisfies your discretion. I endorse her
Thank you for this tip. it was easy to find your coach. Did my due diligence on her before emailing her. She seems proficient considering her résumé.. can I get a way to communicate with you as I have some questions
this video was intrest-ing
puns for days!!!!!!
*Badum Tsss*
W
My financial advisor wears an interest-ring.
Get out.
Anyone need a Elf Spotter, i am the man to call just got my certificate.
I called 911 asking for you they sent my to the asylum
We learned that won't work like 5weeks ago
Good for you haha I might need to trust your skills because of the certificate
If you need some financial advise, I'm a newly certified financial advisor looking for some business.
I've seen my fair share of elves when I watch Lord of the Rings, almost all Santa movies, and Orlando Bloom.
What a brilliant episode. More people around the world need to watch this.
With my Elf Spotting and Financial Advising certificates, professional success is virtually guaranteed. Thanks, Last Week Tonight.
Duckmeister You need to enroll in advanced elf breeding and farming!!
Way ahead of you. I’m well on my way to building an elven empire, all thanks to my mail order elf spotting certification.
Ty bosses 😉
So are you telling me i should just let my cat manage my money? Somehow it sound fair.
No it just means that the marketplace is so volatile that even the "professionals" can't predict it well and it CAN be better to use index funds rather than to be fooled by financial advisers.
+occam And they probably would. And then promptly fee more than they earned over an index investment.
occam yeah no one is saying or has said that. That would be retarded.
That could be the most logical thing that came out of America recently
Actually the market is so big no financial adviser can be trusted to provide consistent results. That's the point of the cat.
You made a joke about reading the Wikipedia titled “Rope” and I took it as a challenge. It was actually quite educational. Lol. 😂
Clay Kress same xD
Were you wasted?
@@DIESEL0759 my woman loves what I know about rope...
@@jsalvatori I have no doubt...
@@jsalvatori LMFAO
This guy is such a great speaker I think this is the first time I’ve ever heard him stumble on a word
Because ROTH IRAs are tax-free, you'll be able to keep more of the money you've worked so hard to earn.I want to invest more than $300k, but I'm not sure how to go.
Holding fixed-income assets in tax-deferred retirement funds as opposed to taxable accounts has additional advantages. If you don't know how to invest in the market, get some advice from a financial counselor.
Having an investment adviser is the best way to go about the stock market right now, especially for near retirees, I've been in touch with a coach for awhile now mostly and I made over $800K within a short time
How can I reach this adviser of yours? because I'm seeking for a more effective investment approach on my savings
My consultant is *Alicia Estela Cabouli* She has since provide entry and exit points on the securities I focus on. You can look her up online if you care for supervision. I basically follow her trade pattern and haven’t regretted doing so
I Looked up her name and her website popped up immediately, interesting stuff so far, about to schedule a session with her.
That guy in the final skit is absolutely FABULOUS!!!
Gredddfe if I'm correct its the same guy from the honey badger voice over video...
Obama_Ate_My_Chicken the honey badger guy's name is Randall and here is his channel: kzhead.info the man in the video is Billy Eichner. he's acted in a handful of things including Parks & Rec and Bob's Burgers
although Funny or Die is a platform for both the honey badger video and "Billy on the Street" ! and they do sound very much alike :)
Why do I always watch this? I'm not even American
Me too. But I'm John Oliver's slave now..
same here :P
lol same here .
Knowing that things like this exist can always help you wherever you are
Arturo Mesirca Or to know how fucked up America is sometimes:p
I got my first report of my pension plan. 10 years of working and I'm actually now putting money into a pension plan... Yeah, Finally (now that I'm in Europe). Might look into setting up an additional index fund since I actually have the spare money even after all that. Feels great. :) Thanks for making this. Been so long since I saw you in front of an audience I forgot how much you react to them. Hope you get to present in front of people again.
It took a while, but I did as instructed, came back here and am following this advice! Thanks. :)
I remember the first time I watched this, on a whim, I looked up and read the entire wikipedia page for rope. It was not an hour well spent.
Devin Gendron I don't believe you.
he probably doesn't need your approval
Honestly John Oliver is such an amazing person and is literally helping us fix the world by pointing attention to the things that usually past by us unnoticed and contribute to the fucked up power dynamics people have in this world. I love this show so much.
6 years later this is still my favorite John Oliver episode.
I honestly live the idea that John Oliver spends his time at work looking at images of tea cup pig when he's not in the middle of a show.
Thank you John Oliver. This video potentially saved me hundreds of thousands when I retire.
Why? Where will you keep your money then? Serious question and i will supply an educated answer.
@@TheSphericalPrison probably in a non-managed fund like the video suggests. They perform as well or better as managed ones and do not charge fees.
@@thomasf.9717 Ok, state the non mananaged fund you are on about? How does it compare to other non managed funds? What is the innitial period on these funds? What is the fee for exiting the fund? What happens to the fund if the indices plummet? A finacial advisor does more than manage finds as the video suggests. A proper finacial advisor will help you to get the biggest and best yield. Not all are scam artist like the video suggests.
@@TheSphericalPrison I'll state that fund as soon as you show me my post where I was talking about a specific fund. Hint: I wasn't.
You really don't need a financial advisor, just save 15% of your gross income and invest it in a couch potato retirement portfolio (google it). Invest first in Roth options (Roth 401k for company sponsored plans or Roth IRAs for personal funds) until you max those out and then put everything else into traditional options (401k for company sponsored plans or traditional IRAs for personal funds). It is that simple. John's "advice" that somehow if you don't earn enough income that you shouldn't or can't save for retirement is terrible and ludicrous. You always need to live within your means and plan for the future no matter how much you make.
as a financial advisor, this video is 100% true lol. Personally tho, I'm not commissioned, however the company I work for give me a better performance rating if I sell certain funds. But I don't give a fuck and tell people to buy index funds and ETFs all the time, and what's what i invest it only 😊
and that's what I invest in only*
You mind advising my lump-some? I'm trying to grow it but it'd be really helpful to have someone else activly managing it. ...hue hue hue im terrible...
+Drakkose don't actively manage your lumpsum, let it passively grow - that was the whole point of the video!! Now, if you were making a sly sexual innuendo, then idk I can't help you there 🙃
LoveAnimexoxo It was sly sexual innuendo. v.v *ahem* ... i feel silly now...
+Drakkose 😶
So it's 2020 could we get an update on financial advisors
Get the stock picking cat 🐈
I could watch investment advice done by Billy Eichner for for years
That's exactly why I stopped working as a "financial advisor" for Prudential - I couldn't live with it on my conscience. There are a lot of laws but they bend the laws ALL THE TIME. You have to educate yourself, but I found that almost NO ONE educates themselves about their finances, even the most basic of basics they just don't know.
@ xuyahfish what did you end up doing instead? what are the most basic of basics?
Prudential manages my son's 401k from the hospital where he works. Since he pays about as much attention to finances as I did at 26, he had me look through his allocations. They had him in high-fee heavily managed funds with their "automatic" feature. I transferred every contribution from those into their few Vanguard offerings (mostly index funds), and he went from double digit losses in the final quarter of 2018 to double digit gains in the first quarter of 2019.
Erin Stade I wish I even understood how to make evaluations like this. I have my 401k on auto by my age and I don’t know how to see much more than balance and contribution. How do I learn all of this?
It's true, I wanted to do the right thing by investing my retirement savings .. But had no idea how or what to invest in. I spoke with a "Financial Adviser" who put my portfolio together but, the statements I would receive monthly were the equivalent of trying to read Chinese. I could not understand anything in them, just bought this, sold that...#'s and terminology all over the place. Every year my tax accountant would say, well you made this much, but multitude of fees would chew into profits and basically had a pretty small return on my investments. After about 8 years of these small returns and the fees eating up most potential profit...I closed everything out in 2009. I took my total retirement investments ($70,000 at this point, so not much) and started investing in buy and hold real estate. Wah-Lah...as of 2020...I hit millionaire status via real estate assets and have a passive income of $4500 per month from rental income.
Would you be interested in making a video about your experience/what the basic of the basics even are?
Wait, being an elf spotter is uncommon?
No, going to Iceland to become one is!
Not anymore it's not!
Well, not anymore!
***** Exactly! Iceland is only a short duration during the summer vacation - when Santa Claus are are at the annual Congress in Copenhagen...
We need elf Spotters. Never trust an elf. Their insidious plots to bring down humanity are always in motion. That smile hides a desire to bring elven dominance to our world.
Exactly what I’m doing. I knew this was coming, i never gave up on my savings and investment as it would be hard to get a job. I see those around me whom have retired and because they have less money, milling around bored and most end up laying around in front of the Tv, living to eat and sleep. Its totally a rewarding choice to have an retirement plan.
Lol Kim sung je your description on failed retirement plan fits perfectly
Never thought about it this way! Haha
So true!
Don’t be mislead these are true facts. I’m in my 30’s with a proficient finances. Nothing scares me! I have learnt to be effectively productive with my finances.
How so John?
John Oliver can make the most boring issues very interesting.Brilliant man and a great show,exposing the BS of Corporate America.
Spot on!
I have a BMI of 36 ... I don't need a retirement fund :)
Imma steal that joke
Here is the original version :) /watch?v=61DEMMzOrEc
"As long as you do everything right you'll probably be ok." Why is that the answer to everything in this country.
After my dad passed away a financial planner came to our place pretending to have information about his retirement plan savings at his work, but really wanted to scare my mom in to being a client by shouting random facts about tax brackets. Then the “financial planner” left our house crying because I was having none of it.
I think that the actual educational quote was "Elk" spotting school!
The thing is, finance is a lot easier than people think it is. There are some generally-recommended, safe investment options (bonds, index funds) as well as retirement plans that provide a steady return over time with little effort. You don't have to gamble away your money by trusting it with a financial advisor - or, potentially worse, putting all your money in stocks without spending the time it takes to do it well. So, once you find an investment vehicle you're comfortable with long-term, you'll have an idea of how much interest your money will accrue. Plug the data into an online interest calculator and it'll be able to tell you how much money you have to invest at a given interest in order to be able to live off of it after you retire. A much bigger problem is for the many people who can't do any of this because they don't have the money in their youth, and thus never accrue interest on any money, and instead have to keep working long after they'd hoped to retire. I guess the bottom line is: Don't trust the banks. Banks make money by literally taking as much money as they possible can from you. When you need the services of a bank, remember this. They're not your friends. They aren't there for you. They're not there for the economy. They're a necessary evil you need to avoid as much as possible.
For the record, I'm talking about index funds without active management. Some actively managed funds aren't as bad as others - some may even be good - but in most cases, active management is just less efficient for you - since, even if the active management makes the fund significantly better, the manager is taking the vast majority of the difference anyway. Active management simply adds a risk to your purchase of index fund shares that you don't need, since passively managed funds have shown to be just as good or better. Also, the banks largely consider you a rube unless you're a very wealthy person, and as such will offer you drastically worse terms and conditions than they would offer well-connected people. Don't ever trust the bank to give you good rates on anything. By the way, I'm not an expert. I learned all of this in less than 6 hours, using economy lectures from The Teaching Company and articles from various sites (never trust just one site - only trust what they all agree on. If it makes sense.)
Yes, if you're a complete moron it can be helpful to have someone less dumb to tell you when you're about to do something dumb.
"The thing is, finance is a lot easier than people think it is." Tell me about it, I got my degree about 3 minutes after I set my mind into being a financial advisor... my inkjet printer takes a while to warm up.
Financial writers have recently begun criticism of index funds. The reason being that some of the funds are so popular now that many of the major indexes have included companies with dodgy fundamentals into their index group,thus rendering some indexes more volatile. So choose your index funds with due diligence.
Very well said !
BRB, reading wikipedia page on rope.
It isn't even that long.
Same
How about you go on ... instead
oh shit lmao
I want to go the elf spotting school with Magnus in Iceland. I don’t believe but I love wonderfully told stories!
Watching this old video and just had a thought, John could you do a web short where u breakdown and explain football just to show us all what you've learned?
Obama's fiduciary rule, which Oliver rightly praises here, was immediately thrown out by Trump as part of his "Lets Build a Giant Swamp for the Corrupt, Greedy top 10% to Wallow in" initiative.
intelligence, has escaped everyone one of the trumps, except this one, and he choose to hide how smart he actually is: slate.com/news-and-politics/2019/03/trump-has-gone-to-ridiculous-lengths-to-keep-his-high-school-grades-from-getting-out.html
I don't think I've heard trump do anything to benefit the middle or lower class. Greedy pig, lol. And to think when John Oliver mentioned the house and senate, he'd mention how they stood up for the fiduciary rule. I was stupid to think they would do something that would benefit the common people
No, the DOL Rule was killed by courts.
basically what john is telling you is, if someone is claiming to help you in america they will have you bent over and pleasuring themself inside you very soon.
@@last7509 Sad but so true.
Financial planners: One of the greatest deceptions pulled on the population is that they can't do it themselves. They've been told they can't do their own taxes. They can't invest without help. It's a form of the harm caused by 'lowered expectations.' As he points out in the video, it's not hard. Pick index funds, rebalance once a year, add more bonds as you get older (or just buy a target fund made up of index funds). That's it. You can expect long-term success with that little of info. 401(k): If your company offers one, you absolutely should take advantage of it. Any good company will offer a match, and you will never get a return as good as that on your own. Fees: Low fees are fundamentally important. Always, always pick no-load investments with low fees. Also, funds with the lowest fees typically outperform funds with high fees because over time, neither will beat the market, and the lower fee fund will skim less off the top, thus giving you more. Advice: Absolutely yes, start saving as soon as you possibly can. That cannot be stressed enough. Low cost index funds are great. Target funds made up of low cost index funds are also great. Also check out what's known as the Margarita Portfolio; it's a super simple investment mix with a proven track record. You don't have to get fancy to be successful. Fees: Vanguard's index funds have fees that are typically under 0.25%, not just under 1% as advised in the video. (Disclosure: I invest with Vanguard.)
Agree with you
Since you seem to like Vanguard: www.edelmanfinancial.com/education-center/articles/h/how-much-is-an-advisor-worth
People can certainly do it themselves, they just don't.
Jake Tweet Great link. IMO the title is deceptive, though. The increase in performance is due to proven investment strategies like long-term focus, diversification, rebalancing, etc. It isn't through picking winners/losers like managed funds. The information to do all the work is readily available for free. I do agree that people who don't have confidence or discipline to act without someone prodding them, then an adviser/coach is beneficial.
You are correct in that it is "not hard" to pick your investments, rebalance, etc. However, while it is SIMPLE to do all of this, it is not EASY to do this because so many people let their emotions dictate their decisions when there's a massive bull or bear market. THAT is why so many people would be better off paying a financial advisor to manage their investments -- to keep themselves from making potentially catastrophic decisions based on emotion. (I would never hire a financial advisor who isn't a "FEE ONLY" advisor -- NOT a "fee based" advisor -- there's a HUGE difference between the two. "Fee Only" advisors must always act as fiduciaries for their clients.)
I feel like there was a missed opportunity there at the end, when the "dominos" toppled over onto Kristen Chenoweth. Definitely, should have just been her feet sticking out, as an homage to "The Wizard of Oz", and her character in "Wicked".
Thx for the heads up