FEELING LONELY in PARIS (dating, relationships, living in a big city...)
2024 ж. 20 Сәу.
3 280 Рет қаралды
Bonjour, it's Théo 👋
Today is Sunday, it's time for our "Spill The French Tea" when we talk together about an intimate subject : how to deal with loneliness!
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bruh i feel you. but to be honest, from bad experiences, like the french saying 'better to be alone than in bad company". be with someone, not for the sake of being in a relationship or hitting marriage, but be with someone if theyre going to support you and bring your career up, they add value to your life currently
Girl launch a podcast, cause you're speaking FACTS!
Hello, Je trouve que tu fais un bon bilan de la vie à Paris. T'as résumé tout ce que je ressens depuis mon arrivée ici, il y a 4 ans. Ça peut être très dur de se connecter aux gens, étant donné que la plupart a déjà son cercle d'amis, partenaire, etc. Merci pour cette vidéo. Tu parais très mature pour ton âge.
From the USA. When someone says something hurtful to you, just say "I am sorry you feel that way." Know that you know better. Saying that little sentenece takes the wind out of their criticism. Throughout your life, no matter how old you are or become, you will always find times when you feel lonely, even when you are in a relationship and surrounded by friend. First be your own best friend, no one can empathize with your emotional pain the way you can, or offer you the best advise the way you can. Learn as you go, do not be afraid to fail. Be afraid of not trying to accomplish something. No one has a perfect familiy. You parents and siblings are all human, you are human and as a human being we all make mistakes. It's a gift when we realize that we have made a mistake. The gift to yourself regarding other people's behavior is to forgive them. Then you can grow and mature.😊
Theo, you are doing all of the right things. The toughest part is having faith that the right person will come into your life at the right time. I didn't meet my love until later in life. Had we met earlier, it never would have worked. We actually met on twitter in a profession group & eventually became best friends. Later it became something more. We've been married now 8 years. As for loneliness, many people have found having a pet to come home to helps a lot - even if it's a fish. Volunteer work also helps, even if you create your own opportunity. Hopefully, these words might help you or someone else. Sending love from Florida
Thank you so much! Meeting your loved one on Twitter is an incredible story, I'm so happy for you too 👏
I've heard from so many of my young, educated and talented Parisian friends that they suffer from loneliness and I always found it so hard to imagine why or how... I guess this just shows I've only been to Paris as a tourist and haven't had go deal with it yet
I think it's the same in big cities when you are young and living on your own, before building a family or having a bigger place, it can feel lonely at some time
From the USA. Let me pass along a piece of advice an older woman once gave me. When you meet someone new don't aask targeted personal questions. Instead say " tell me about yourself". This is a wide open question that a person caan answer anyway they like and start a conversation in any dirction. If someone says to you "why are you interested" just say because I am interested in you.
That's a great advice ! Thank you !
Thanks for sharing this. Feels nice to know that we are all on the same journey
I'm so glad you loved this video! I wish you all the best 🙏
From the USA. The French people are very formal. They don't appear to be good at what Americans call "small talk with strangers". If you try to begin a conversation with a Parisean stranger, they are very suspicious of you. I agree at 23 years old you need to keep yourself busy doing different things where you can meet different people just as friends. Have no expectaations other then that of friendship. Friendships grow into deep relationships.
Living in major cities can be very alienating for many people. As a young single man it can be very difficult to meet women in cities major metropolisies like Paris, London and New York for example or even in smaller cities. The modern world is far more transient and alienating now than before. We can all move around the globe a lot quicker and although that is a fantastic thing it also comes with drawbacks. Walking around a city past hundreds of thousands of people who couldnt give a sh*t if you live or die and dont care about you one bit can feel very painful, and it we are honest, human beings are supposed to live in small tribes and not around millions of strangers like in Paris. Paris can also be a very cutthroat and elitist place and the dating scene will reflect that, you have some of the most beautiful high status and high social economic class of women residing there and there can definitely be an air of elitism with certain social circles also. Also as a man, there is little chance of a woman you dont know striking a conversation with you and so the onus is on the man just to not care as much about rejection and be ok with comniting a social faux pas and just going up to a woman he finds attractive even if the majority of times she isnt interested. Even if you are sipping a coffee in a cafe there is nothing wrong with making conversation with a woman or man you happen to find attractive. Its nice to make connections with people you do not know. I remember the days living in London and in France as well when I was lonely and I saw all these couples everywhere, all these attractive, interesting woman who I would have loved to go on a date with saunter accross my path with a guy holding her hand and thinking thrre was something wrong with me and as if I was some ugly imposter when this wasnt the case. I only splved this issue by putting museld out there more and putting myseld on the line to face rejection as often as I could, romantically and socially. Im from a lower socio economic area in the North of the UK and I definitely flet like an imposter in certain wealthy parts of Paris but then I reminded myself that I have as much right to be there as anyone else and its up to me to not reject myself even if other people do, easier said than done though, I know.🎉
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, this video is really relatable. As someone who is more of an introvert and who moved to Paris only two years ago I feel less alone knowing that we all experience similar things in a big city such as loneliness. Thanks for the advice!
I'm so happy you loved the video!
Great video Theo. I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability. Stay hopeful and positive, and everything will fall into place. 😊
Thank you so much Emily 🙏
Friends are very important. I have 3 dear friends in Paris. I can’t wait to see them each year. They are my favorite part of Paris. I also have several close friends at home. I didn’t find the right partner until I was 30. Everyone should give themselves time to develop friendships and relationships.
This is so true ! We need to give ourselves the time
Theo! you have figured some big things in life, and it's amazing to listen to your stories. I resonated so much on how dating is so hard in your 20s because we're just living very different lives. For me, I made the executive decision to not date until my late 20s (1) because I'm having so much fun being single and untethered but also (2) because of our different lives Also yes! Small talk becomes necessary as we grow up and meet new people. We have very short days and only a couple of hours, and when everyone is busy, sometimes a quick 'how are you' becomes powerful
I'm glad my video resonates with you 🙏
27 been single for over a year which is the longest period without a relationship in my adult life and I LOVE IT! sometimes I get lonely too but honestly focusing on myself and strengthening my non romantic relationships has been the best! Also I have cats so they help when you love alone!
That's great ! I wish you all the best 🙏
I agree with your message generally
Just found your channel this weekend and have to say I’m liking it a lot.
Thank you so much! I'm just so glad you discovered it recently ! Don't hesitate to check my work on Instagram/TikTok too, I'm posting everyday for more than 2 years on these platforms at @frenchguytheo 😉
Omg thanks for this video, really needed it 🫶🏼. It’s nice to hear I’m not the only person feeling like this 😅. I’m also a 23 year old Frenchie living alone in a tiny flat in Paris haha. Moved here last September, and being an introverted person I thought I’d love it, but in fact not having a S.O. and having only a few friends that I can’t see all the time is very lonely. So I realised I don’t want to be alone all my life 😂. But also we don’t have to wait for people to do what we want and that good company will find us if we stick to that 😊
That is so true! I wish you all the best and I'm sure you will build the life you want 🙏 🥰
very good video. I think that many people here are lonely and usually social media creates superficial relationships, no real feelings, no real love, no real caring. It is loneliness everywhere and in all places. It's not just Paris. I think it helps if you go out and leave less social media and meet real people. There are always some people who think the same way. Loneliness is a part of a person's personality and it should be, and it is a sign of distress from one's own psychological state. Love comes unexpectedly like a thief and I believe that you will get it for sure. I travel a lot and meet a lot of people, but when I go to a hotel, the walls and soul scream emptiness. Love looks into the soul and as a person. Try give time and try to travel out of Paris and go to a small town in France or abroad like Italy or another country where people are genuine. We humans are similar in basic needs, but it comes out in a different way. have a good day. Enjoy the fact that you still have a lot to give and you have health and you can walk and walk. Many cannot do those basic things. I wish you the best Ciao
Thank you so much for your advice, it means a lot to me 🙏
I think when people have similar.. attitudes or some kind of i don't know.. it doesn't matter that they're in different places in life
I also really like the content you share. Very interesting.
Thank you 🙏
I am sure you will be fine. Just find good people
Thank you !
Do you struggle with loneliness?
Not as you do, yet I feel alone everyday even though I'm surrounded by good people who give me good company from the very early hours of the day to beyond sunset. I tend to feel better when in the middle of trees in a park or in the woods, feeling one with my own green kind. :)
@@GregorMortis420 Yes it's so different when you are surrounded by nature 🥰
Bonjour, Theo! Sometimes, but not much anymore. I enjoy being by myself. Once I had many acquaintances, I never thought they were my "friends". I went out a lot on the weekends here in Miami in my youth. But friends go away, move away, get married or lose interest in me for whatever reason. I am divorced. No Children! (Dommage) ! Too many different personalities to deal with when you bring people into your life. As you grow older, you realize that you don't "need" people, but they are nice to have around. I have come to accept that my solitary life is okay with me. I have a sister and we share many things, she has children that I share with. But I really would rather be alone to have to take on the complications that relationships bring. I love your work, your channel and your personality. More than anything, I wish you happiness. ♥
Get a cat or dog. You seem to be a very well-adjusted mature 23-year-old who gives great advice!
I would love to! But my apartment is still small for a pet ahah
You are young enough. You do not want to be alone?, there is still time to go to a smaller place in the country side. You are guaranteed to form relationships in less than 4 years.
u r so handsome :))
Thanks !
Consider dating slightly older girls
I'm considering it right now ahah
lol 23?..you still have a lot of life to live before that phase in your life