What's it like Growing up as an Undiagnosed Autistic Person? | My Mom Interviews Me
Hi! I’m Claire, and this is my channel, Woodshed Theory. Here you will find the awkward ramblings of an adult autist. I love being creative and sharing my experiences with you. Subscribe to see more DIYs, Discussions, and Bunnies on your feed!
Before I left my visit with my parents, my mom asked to interview me about my autism. She thought it would be helpful as well for other parents who may think their children are on the spectrum. I did my best to answer her questions without knowing what they would be first. Thank you mom for doing such a great job and for wanting to know me better. I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
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I remember that from a teenager on I always felt different, strange Like an outsider. Everything was more difficult for me than for others.
I understand that feeling
Yeah me too, I always thought that it was because my family wasn't really connected with the town where I went to school, everybody else seemed like they already knew eachother but now looking back I think that wasn't it
People always tell me that I seem to have it all together, too, but they have no idea how hard I have to work to keep it together. I'm retired now, so I don't have to work so hard, but when I was working, I used 98 to 100% of my capacity every single day, and if I didn't keep up the mask of having it together everything would fall apart. We work so hard to just make it through a day. In other news, a singing cat! And... You only need 68 more subs! Also big thanks to your awesome mom for being on your show! She's a star!
Thanks Cathy your support means a lot to me
I feel that struggle of working so hard to keep it together. Every day is a battle. I'm not diagnosed but have a feeling I'm on the spectrum. And halfway through typing this comment I'm realizing I'm on my son's channel (he is diagnosed with autism). It runs in our family a bit.
The "you're just being a drama queen" resonated with me because I grew up hearing that I was just "attention seeking" from my family. That along with the fact that not everyone is accepting of self-diagnoses is what made me seek an official one.
I really understand. It led me to be so unsure of my own feelings
This so much. Being constantly told that all my quirks and peculiarities are my fault was so difficult to grapple with while growing up. Having started to explore self diagnosis in the past few months has already been life changing, even though as part of the discussion in the video mentioned, it can be challenging to reprocess some memories, and I am often dealing with the uncomfortable thought that transpires suggesting that I'm just making this up. It's great to hear what other people are saying about their own experiences. I feel accepted in these online autism-related communities even though I haven't personally gotten to know people through them or discussed any of this outside of my therapy situation.
@@user-yv6xw7ns3o Regarding the "I am often dealing with the uncomfortable thought that transpires suggesting that I'm just making this up" I just wanted to know that mental health is one of my special interests and it's very common for people with any sort of mental health / neurodevelopmental disorder (eg: ADHD, autism, BD, BPD, DID, PTSD, etc.) to constantly question if they're just unconsciously "imaging things", "making things up" or even "exaggerating their symptoms", even after they've been officially diagnosed with such things by one or more medical professional(s). One thing I'm learning to come to terms with is that the constant self-doubt is just something that is part of the package and, in it's own way, almost another proof that I am not "just making this up" since it's something that so many other people seem to also be struggling with.
As an undiagnosed Autistic, for me and my life this is how I felt. Like I was lost in a foreign country. With no language skills, unable to communication with others, nor they with me. I was shunned because I was so different, which was highly painful at a very deep level. I felt totally lost!
that is such a good way to put it
2:30 SAME, SAME, SAME! In my case it was also a video from KZhead! It was like someone was pointing out my deepest characteristics to me.
I’m sure you understand it’s such a strange moment
Me too, KZhead videos are opening my eyes
II think you have handled all of this really well. So many of us have had terrible trauma that makes us seek validation from others when it might never come. Knowing the traits that we are working with and not judging ourselves by other people's standards, finding out that we have our own tribe, that we can cope better than we anticipated by not participating in social things past our own tolerance, these are important healing tools. I am 65 now and I will never be diagnosed, but that little girl I was, who "couldn't keep up, couldn't catch up and couldn't make up" was not a failure, she was a brave soul! I try not to anticipate understanding or rejection, but just to remember that I have way more in common with neurotypicals than our differences would suggest. Bravo to you and your mom, and God bless you!
Elizabeth wow I’m in tears over this - you are right - not failures, brave. Thank you
09:02: i think many who find out that he / she is on the spectrum feels the same. Many times if i remeber a situation in the past, I start to cry, regarless if its a bad or a nice memory. It ist always so overwhelming.
Very overwhelming to think back on everything
Always lying to one another. So true. It's so bizarre. And then everyone is expected to pretend that nobody lied. 😮
It’s confusing
I really relate to you, and I think autistics are actually often “better”, society should work around us. Congratulations
Thanks for sharing
You are so lucky for having found out earlier in life than some of us. Glad you could process much of it with your Mom. My mother would have totally denied it. She is already passed on. Good job, Mom, for bringing up this idea and having the courage to accept your daughter's diagnosis! Hope you can be together, again, for the holidays. Make every time together count!
I was so grateful for this chat
Really enjoyed the video. I am interested in hearing about women who have been diagnosed later in life as autistic. After watching videos and reading several books I have started wondering if I might also be an undiagnosed women. So thank you for taking the time to share your story and experiences.
Hi Mel, happy to have you here.
Gosh! I’m 58 and just finally found myself…on the Autism Spectrum, and told my own dear mum. We chat about the very same things❤️. By the way, I must comment on how beautiful you both are, just like me & Mum. Thanks for these videos!
I’m glad you found us
A great video Claire. Kind of a hard watch for me, received my diagnosis last year age 47. My mam passed away in 2008, so I can never have this conversation with her, which hurts alot.
Hi Julie, I'm sorry you didn't have a chance to discuss this with your mother. I hope we can support you as a community.
@@WoodshedTheory thanks, it's just the way it is I guess, but it's certainly something of a regret (but I didn't know)
Hi Claire, I loved every single minute of this interview. You have a great mom. I still can't "come out" as an adult, because I was raised in a very toxic and dysfunctional family.
I’m sorry to here that but I’m glad you feel comfortable here
@@WoodshedTheory yes she reminds me of my mom, that's a very high compliment
A cat! I have to upvote! I am a cat type! A beatutiful cat by the way😍
I love cats too - my favorite!
I was called a drama queen. My mum has referred to me as a "difficult child". I've been parenting, now, as an autistic parent for 32-33 years. So hard!!!! Being a teen mum and autistic. But adults were even harder to relate too. Very terrifying. I became a singer and dancer because I could hardly even talk to people. It was survival. I was in a trauma&dissociation inpatients treatment a few years ago and I mentioned to my psychiatrist to that I suspected I am autistic and she told me "You are too warm to be autistic". I don't think that's a thing though. She was a trauma specialist and not an autism specialist.
Sounds like you have had quite the journey!
The question around 20 min. in, -very well said regarding cultural perceptions of the past and present. There is a wonderful advocacy renaissance now. This helps people's future possibilities, too. The more understanding of how to adapt and navigate in healthier ways than masking, the better.
good point
This video came up in my feed today, and I just wanted to thank you for doing it. A lot of this resonated with me.
ahh you are very welcome. it wasn't easy but it was important.
This video was great. Very relatable and validating. And you have a lovely mum with great questions✌️😘💕.
Thanks she is a great mom
Warm-hearted regards from rainny Brazil 🌷🐾❤️🐢🐊🐍🌼🍑🌿🌴🥥🌺🐠💐🏖️🐠🦀🦑🐙🦊🐗🐴🐓🐦🕷️🕸️🦆🐞🐡🦂🦉
Hello!
You just hit the nail on the head. I wish I'd have known when I was a kid, but I'm not sure I'd have made it into the career I'm in, due internalized or externalized ableism
Yes it would be great to know but who is to say what would have happened
Super video, thank you! I'm male, 68. If only I had known, 50 years ago when I was a teenager. Life as a teen in middle school and high school was horrific. I could not act like the other boys and was in agony as to why I was not like them. I like what you said about feeling "mortified" about your behaviour.
i get it
Your mom has such cool glasses! Also I really loved watching this interview with you two. She did a great job and it was very enjoyable and relatable and helps me in figuring out if I should get diagnosed or not and whether or not I should even bring it up with my family.
I’m so glad to read this thank you
You and your mom sound so similar, thanks for the great video!
Thank you Margot we do sound just alike!
Your Mom looks so much like you!
well i think i look like her actually lol
It's so great to see such a supportive mum. You are both amazing! ❤😊
She is literally the best
This was very moving. All I could think of was my Mom who has passed and her struggles in life undiagnosed. I was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid. I have a strong feeling I'm on the spectrum. I'm 57 and my entire life I struggled with work, relationships, got divorced after 23 years.,, imposter syndrome, anxiety, on and on I have a NT daughter, I wonder if I was a terrible mom sometimes? My reaction to certain things. I hate reflecting .
Thank you for this video. You both are awesome. Really relate to the shift to understanding myself and feeling more self compassion.
Thank you Shawna glad to have you
I have just seen this....thank you 🙏This was a beautifully honest, raw and profoundly human video. You are a wonderful person and your videos are so healing for me. 💜
thanks for your comment, it is encouraging
@@WoodshedTheory I have just discovered your channel😀It is so wonderful. Despite appearances (Bigmanjr's Minecraft - I share an account with my adolescent autistic son🥰), my name is Kellie, I am a woman in my early 50s, with both a son and husband very recently diagnosed as on the autism spectrum. I am self-diagnosed/self-identify as autistic, and your channel has been a revelation. Thank you so much🙏💜I will continue to follow. Sending many thanks and gratitude to you.xx
Thank you.
Thanks for your support! I love this video too
This is sooo good! I would never think to have my mom interview me, but what a wonderful, healing video to watch. Your mom sorta reminds me of my mom, and I haven’t come out about it to my parents yet because I’m afraid of the possible negative responses (like you mentioned about your fears of starting a YT channel. But my mom’s not really a negative, dismissive person, so… it’s strange that’s the fear that’s holding me back. Your singing cat made me smile
i was kinda scared to tell my family as well - i didn't want to feel like they failed or that i was blaming my late diagnosis on them
Would love to have the link to the video you mentioned. Watching now ✌️❤️⚔️🔥🐴
no problem kzhead.info/sun/lqprlMyPjoevhGw/bejne.html
Such a great video, Claire! So much of it was so incredibly relatable. Your mom had a lot of great questions. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for all of your support Michele, it means a lot to me.
I really like this vid of your mom interviewing you. That sort of gave me hope on my autistic journey as an adult and hopefully my relationship with my mom will get better with time. She’s my safe person. I’m still processing my diagnosis and my mom as well. I’ve noticed how you talk is very similar to how i speak irl, though i think I’m semi verbal. I wonder if it was more than my hearing impairment, it could also be processing issues. I’ll have to look into it too. I’m taking it easy and slowly because I’m newly diagnosed and this is my second month since.
Yes take care of yourself
You both are amazing! Best answer ever: why wouldn't they?
Thanks friend!
Thanks for this video. Thanks for always being so positive and open about talking about your experiences.
Thanks for your comments Nolan - these interviews weren't as easy for me but very important.
you girls look alike. pretty. i relate to your answers. love the video.
We do look just a like!
Another excellent video. You and your mother make a great team. And of course your responses tonthe questions were very relatable as a late diagnosed autistic adult.
Thanks Micheal I hope you are well
Wow your mom seems so nice and understanding of your autism. My mom just says oh but you seemed so normal as a kid. I'm tired of explaining how it was for me.
There's a decent chance your mom's autistic. I remember interacting with a kid with an Aspergers diagnosis back in the early 2010s and thinking "I don't see anything wrong with this kid..." A decade later, I have my own AuDHD diagnosis.
this video is great. also, you totally got your mom’s face!
I do we are like twins
your tree is so pretty!
Thank you I love my Moms pretty tree
Im new here, just wanted to tell You how great this conversation was to listen, lovely mom ❤️ lovely You🤗 like drinking spring water
What a sweet compliment thank you
@@WoodshedTheory 🤗❤️❤️❤️❤️😸
So awesome!! Love the relationship you have qith your mom!!
Thank you, she is awesome!
What a gorgeous cat!
Thanks! He is so wonderful
Woah you and your mum have the same voice! 😊
Just beautiful!
Thanks mom is great
Great Video. So nice to see the emotional connection between you and your Mother.
Thank you so much for this!
Glad it was helpful! I love my mom
This was perfect. Thank you both.
Thanks it meant a lot to me too
Hit by a train. So true. A reason Im pretty sure about it. I already have a disability. So I don't need to know it from a professionell.
that is true, although for me it was pretty important to get a professional diagnosis so everyone is different
@@WoodshedTheory maybe I will do it oneday. First have to figure it out how diagnosis works in my country. Because of money 😅
This was a really neat video!
thanks my mom is the best
🏆 Great Video. Thank you. ❤️
Nice to meet your mom Claire!
thanks she is the best
What was the Ted Talk that you referenced in home beginning?
The* beginning.
Cooks edit, but engagement.
Could* 😉
@@KZheadperson1337 I believe it's kzhead.info/sun/lqprlMyPjoevhGw/bejne.html
Is that a kitty? or something that claire knitted? it's a giant pillow, what is that?
I share that desire for isolation. Running to the woods Walden style. I"m older and it's unclear what I can do a steer a career in the right direction after diagnosis. But overall diagnosis was great.
@@FirstmaninRome Walden style for sure!
Cat pillow/marshmallow ☺️
I just want to “go to the woods” okay!?
How did any sensory pieces impact experiences including traveling
oh good question!
I feel like our neurotype needs identified before adminiering drugs due to what ive found a sensitive nature and also a totally different reaction to certain medication that is normally used first line. But as funny as it is Adderall seems to work fine and not be too over stimuating.
Yes I know many people are misdiagnosed and medicated for the incorrect issue
❤❤❤
One of my favorite videos
Thank you again, Claire! How many opportunities I lost in the past because of me blurting out a nonsensical response… At the same time, seeing the strengths… I think we all have to ask ourselves how we can help be the leaders in all this.
I think that’s the right attitude Garth
❤❤❤
Thank you 🙏
@@WoodshedTheory welcome ❤️