When your self-worth depends on what you achieve
We’re obsessed with achievement, trapped in a cycle where one’s latest success measures personal worth. This fixation raises a crucial question: Have we stopped recognizing each other’s inherent value, seeing ourselves merely as products of our accomplishments?
Video: When your self-worth depends on what you achieve
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00:00 Introduction
01:29 The anatomy of the human doing
08:47 The age of narcissism
10:59 Self-worth
#selfworth #selfesteem #loser
11:48 - Minor editing mistake (but makes quite a difference in meaning). The correct sentence: "'Also, *for a significant part*, achievement and success lie outside of our control, meaning that our ‘worth’ largely depends on circumstances not up to us."
I hope that you make a video about self worth theory
I love the ideas presented on this channel. 🌍 💙
Not if you are a Stoic.
Our worth and achievement largely depends on circumstances not up to us? That is absolute nonsense. Dying isn't up to us (necessarily), taxes aren't up to us. Worth based on honor, integrity, character, and hard work is absolutely up to us.
@@wyominghome4857hard work, easy work is up to us. The results - no shit
"What's money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do. " - B. Dylan
And me... wakes up and night and goes to bed in the morning :>
@@Lucas_Jeffrey It is perfectly acceptable to be nocturnal, if that is how you choose to live.
That's the key. We all get to define success for ourselves.
Ted Bundy was a success then after all.
@@TDL-xg5nnin his own way yes , success can be subjective
This pretty much sums up why it's always rubbed me the wrong way when strangers ask "What do you do?" They're not asking because they're genuinely interested in your life.. they're asking so they can "size you up" and decide whether or not you are somebody worthy of being respected & taken seriously.
just answer it, honest, it's their decision if they are interested on us or not, if they're not interested afterward, then your honesty saves you from them, our honesty is our great filter to maintaining our connection only with one that care
I agree
The best way to answer is this - "None of your self absorbed business."
Sometimes we are..... But not everyone is as autistic as I am.
I ask people about their hobbies now. Or if they have any personal projects.
When people ask me what I do, I like to say, “As little as possible,” and watch their face. We are more than our doings!
lol
Good answer!
Ohh. I like that a great deal.
I honestly do the same! Or I use variants: 'i get paid to send emails on stuff', 'nothing much', 'nothing of any real value' - people never seem to know how to react 😂 especially in corporate circles where they desperately need to try to work out if you out rank them or not
AMEN, good WORK..!! If they cannot "accept" the road of freedom that you have chosen. Well too bad for them.
If you think you hit rock bottom and feel worthless, then start by closing all your social media accounts. Create an isolation bubble in which you do the things you enjoy doing. Nobody needs to know what you do, and you don't need to know what others do. You are not missing anything. In my isolation bubble, I read books that I love, hiked in the mountains, kayaked in the ocean, played video games, and cuddled with my pets while binge-watching series. Only solo activities. I refrained from any social interaction. It took many months until I was ready to be virtually social again. When I got back to social media, it felt so different. I was not a part of it anymore. I didn't want to post anything, and I wasn't curious to check what others were doing. It was like someone gave up his years of smoking addiction and when he lighted his first cigarette after months of refrain, he realized that it felt disgusting and threw it away immediately. When you feel worthless, it actually means you think you feel worthless "compared to others." If you remove that comparison factor from your life, I guarantee you that you will be the happiest person in the world.
Spend 3 months in a hotel in winter like I do, at the end you are more than happy for being isolated. Listening to the other guests, is enough to send anyone round the bend. Liars, braggards, know it alls are forever present.
Also, some might think that isolation is harmful. On the contrary, isolation means protection. Protection from external impacts. In the past, they had isolated structures such as fortresses; and cities had walls for a reason. But those walls had gates nonetheless. And you must use your gates wisely.
Quitting social media was a fantastic direction to take
Same thing happened ❤ I installed social media application after completing that bubble but I never use it because I forgot to use social media apps because busy doing something that my inner self love
What would you do if others come to attack you and deem you as a "loser" even if you avoid them?
"Comparison is the thief of joy" 😭
😢😢😢
real confidence killer too
Sad😢
Toby is the thief of joy
"Tell others that you are a loser, then live your life the way you want. We only live once, so live it the way that makes you least regret it." -unknown
Time is the only resource. Personally, I've done what I've wanted with nearly every hour I've been given. 🙂 Everyone else is free to do whatever they wish, though. 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨ "Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind's journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul's fate revealed. In time, all points converge, hope's strength resteeled. But to earn final peace at the universe's endless refrain, we must see all in nothingness... before we start again." 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨ --Diamond Dragons (book I)
But doesnt being content make you regretful of the things you couldve done?
@@r3i960 You can't travel every path, so it's probably not worth worrying about.
@@r3i960 you shouldn't pursue comfort. Instead aim for fulfillment. That's the feeling you get after a day of focused work, a hard workout and doing good things.
And beating the meat until it’s tenderized perfectly and basted in homemade sauce with mashed potatoes and gravy yes that’s a perfect afternoon maybe some fresh fruit and a glass of Chardonnay.
"I never intended to succeed, and therefore I cannot fail" - a cool quote I just remembered.
Our achievements, material, and social status mean nothing when you die. What matters is how you live, love, and treat the world with compassion, love, and respect for all thing's existing. Protect your soul. Fear is a lie! And money is the trick on us.
We need money to live in the world but it doesn't control us ..we control it👍🏾
Top Comment 👍
Tis True
And what after death ?
@kaizenyasou6963 if we have done it right, nirvana, shangri-la, utopia, heaven, I am not sure, but I not afraid to find out and be done with this avatar of Martin. What do you think Kazien?
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." Jiddu Krishnamurti
“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn't try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn't need others' approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.”
The last part is wonky.
what a beautiful lie
💯 🔥 🤘
you ripped that from the tao te ching but changed the words slightly still beautiful though xxjust like you xxx
@@bobmiller7502 There's quotation marks around it it is an exact quote from the tao te Ching translation that I'm reading lol
Everyone comes empty handed into this world and leaves empty handed
Technically it is not right. Parents created wealth that is from birth transfered onto child and with this level of abundance is brought up new individual with sense of loss.They make anything possible not to lose comfortable life.
When the moment arrives, will *you* be at peace enough with your actions to cross beyond the void veil? Must give us pause. 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨ "Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind's journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul's fate revealed. In time, all points converge, hope's strength resteeled. But to earn final peace at the universe's endless refrain, we must see all in nothingness... before we start again." 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨ --Diamond Dragons (book I)
Preach!!! ❤❤❤
Technically it's right. A newborn is only it's body and upon death only a corpse. @@novadomenavedomia
In between, if you live empty handed, it’s definitely not a happy life
I no longer need or seek approval from anyone.
If your only sense of worth comes from others, then you'll always be miserable because they just see you as some other person I couldn't care less what others think of me, or what they do
You probably no longer get it, either.
Then why are you watching this video and leaving this comment? Who do you need to prove to that you don't need approval? Do you believe it in yourself?
@@randallguidry3624 A better question to ask yourself is: why did this innocuous personal comment on a KZhead video trigger you?
I am 27 , and Im starting to be Unbothered . like seriously no one gives a shiet nowadays There's no point chasing a woman or anything Why to waste Time & Energy!
'I want to be a human being, not a human doing' - Scatman John, 1995
"I couldn't keep that pace up if I tried." Also Scatman John
Legend ❤
"The source of my intention really isn't crime prevention. My intention is prevention of the lie, yeah. Welcome to the Scatman's world". Another Scatman John classic 1995
First thing that comes to mind
how about a human going!
When people asking me "what are you doing?", usually they want to know what I'm doing for a living, my job, because most people identify themself with their job/work. I usually just say "I play video games, do bicycle tours and enjoy gardening." About 80% of the people responding to this with "So you are unemployed!?"
Crazy how shallow most people are
Such as easy answer to filter out shallow people
@@shun2240 99% of people are though
When someone asks you what you do, it means what you do as a part of this society, how do you help the society in order to get helped. The one who created the bike you love to ride, needed to work full time. During this time they couldn't fulfill all the requirements for their living, so they used goods and services other people created for them to save time. The same goes for the video-games, the gardening stuff, and everything you see. Someone else created them for you.
Fuck society @@gigamoment
Just when I have hit my rock bottom, I got this today... I felt my productivity decreased over the years and I am just a worthless person after all. But this world is curated that way. If you are "successful", you are worthy otherwise you are worthless. Such a sad reality we live in
just try to see the good things in life mate don't go so down. Love your family your good friends and enjoy what you have.
Try to read Seneca. "Wealth is the slave of the wise, and the master of the fool" Good luck!
Were exactly in the same boat :(
You are special gang work hard and you'll get what you want 💪
you crazy brother dont judge yourself by others, waking up loving going to bed, sounds a wonderful life to me
having the freedom to lead a peaceful, quiet, humble, but interesting life is my success goal.
Overreliance on achievements can breed insecurity and stress. Cultivating self-worth regardless of accomplishments cultivates resilience and tranquillity, fostering authenticity and confidence. This mentality empowers individuals to confront challenges and seek fulfilment through genuine self-acceptance.
42 years old barely $10K in retirement with student loans and wheelchair refusing to be on the welfare. This has made me reflect on myself. Maybe its something I do not have to be ashamed of myself
Indeed🎉😊
Amen.
Take the welfare and never apologize for it. It's what our taxes are for. You are worthy of help.
You do NOT have any reason to be ashamed of yourself. A thousand years from now whether you were a success or a failure will not matter in the slightest. Having simply lived, and been a human being with gentle kindness and not taking lives or destroying them on your path is a magnificent achievement in its own right.
I've never understood the big deal of status in society The idea that you get to converse with the richest people on earth So what? Just because someone is rich doesn't mean that they're good people that you enjoy talking to I judge people by their actions, not what's in their wallet
Most spot-on video I've seen in ages! I've always detested the "What do YOU do?" icebreaker at social events, so whenever someone asks me what I do, I immediately say "Drugs." And, yeah, nine out of ten people will make a face and walk away, but sometimes there'll be one person who gets the joke and we get into a real conversation, not just reciting career-social-achievement garbage.
😅 Good people do good drugs. 🙂👌🏻
I love the idea. :-)
Seems like a good way to screen people...
If i ask a stranger, what do you do (which i do not normally ask), and if someone says Drugs i would chuckle.
I lost my job to circumstances beyond my control this week. It is hard not to feel worthless after being layed off, even when you know it was not your fault. I appreciate the reminder with your video, and hope that you recognize the value in your self for sharing this wisdom with the world.
may you walk into something better and may this time of pain be turned into a stepladder to better
Don’t be hard on yourself & remember everything in life, including life itself is impermanent. Stay positive, circumstances will change for the better 🙏🏼
Same here and still haven’t found anything yet after 2 months of looking don’t get discouraged the job market is the worst it’s been in a while don’t let this period define you
As a CGI artist, I feel you
Ironically, I handed my resignation in yesterday, as the job drains everything I've got out of me. I'll figure out what to do, once I'm rested. We're trapped in our jobs, and fear holds us there. I must say I felt relieved once I decided to quit. We're all replaceable. Time and health is finite. Good luck on your new journey ❤
About being successful, I'm reminded of Earl Nightingale's thoughts. You are, by definition, a successful person if you keep trying to achieve a goal or idea you set for yourself. What that is, is yours to realize.
"Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal" - Earl Nightingale
Even if we failed to achive our goals we still successful person?
@@mynameislove1704 as long as you pursue your goal/idea, you are not a failure. Failure is when you give up on your goal/forsake your ideals
@@MrSaunamies95 good insight bro thanks for sharing
I have been out of work for a few weeks, I left voluntarily because that job was emotionally consuming me, affecting my health. I have felt useless, like a loser, for not having achieved a little more, for not having a job, as if everyone out there was achieving great things except me, this video comes in these circumstances and it is just what I needed . Thank you.
You have a lot of bravery for leaving because the space didn't serve you.
Handed in my notice yesterday. For exactly the same reason. There's a video on Burnout - (I'll edit it in). Which made me feel that it's not just me, and my reaction is valid. As am I. DW Documentary, Burnout, when your work makes you sick. It's 50 minutes long, but well worth a watch
@@angeladawn805 i watched that documentary 2 weeks ago and I quit my job this week, on the spot. It felt great. "Losers" are the ones that keep feeling miserable everyday for a paycheck, either because they really need it or because they are too afraid to be seen as "losers" or too attached to the material world. Its just a matter of principles, but for some people god is money and status.
Similar situation here, the company I was working fired a bunch of people and now I’ve been unemployed for like 2 weeks. Everyone is telling me to go and find another job and to keep moving and to keep earning more, but it’s funny how it’s seems that’s the only way they measure one’s value. I’ve told them no, I want to enjoy the life I wasn’t able to enjoy while working +9 hours a day and I’ve been playing lots of video games, sleeping more, doing yoga, a lot of amazing things. It is true in today’s society you cannot live without any money at all. But I think the correct balance comes from knowing when to just relax and use money as tools for living and not for more and more material possessions.
In a blink our lives will be over. Nobody actually knows what they are doing. Just try to find things that make you happy. I believe happiness is what makes you successful
I just attended the Roman Catholic Mass and I told the priest about the heading text of this video and he replied back with the PERFECT answer " Your net worth is NOT your self worth".
I think the best way to watch these videos is to frequently pause and reflect on the message.
I need to rewatch them a few times to fully take everything on board
Yes, I did that and I still feel like I have to Rewatch and I will do so
Do it then.
Reflection is truly both key and lock. Unfortunately, very few human beings are truly capable of it. After all, they've been brainwashed by corporations, products, society, media, associates, and more for decades. 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨ "Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind's journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul's fate revealed. In time, all points converge, hope's strength resteeled. But to earn final peace at the universe's endless refrain, we must see all in nothingness... before we start again." 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨ --Diamond Dragons (book I)
"We are human beings not human doings" BRAVO MAESTRO! Subscribed!
Wise words my friend. What do you do for a living? I live. ✌️
Living = how do you make money. Typically people will respect the toiler cleaner more than the employable but lazy bum on welfare and I do not blame them. Nor do I blame the bum for being on welfare or being lazy. That system was constructed by the government.
Where do you live? I live where I am.
I think people feel more of a loser because they never become the person they want to be.
I think that's the main reason
Because they are following someone else's path other than their own. But, one that is lost can always find their way back.
Somewhat true. People don't become something they want to be when everyone supposed to be rich and famous ..our definition of success is so high that its never good enough.
Yeah but they still don't realize😅 that
This is it
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporessss I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.sporessss
I've been struggling with this for a while now, this was needed!! I was taught if I wasn't productive I had no value
Overreliance on achievements can breed insecurity and stress. Cultivating self-worth regardless of accomplishments cultivates resilience and tranquillity, fostering authenticity and confidence. This mentality empowers individuals to confront challenges and seek fulfilment through genuine self-acceptance.
"Productive" can mean so many things. Some people are stuck in linear patterns which solely revolve around MONEY. But when you think about it, that's the biggest facade ever. It'd be like saying "the reason I do artwork isn't because of artistry. It's because I want money. I like spending it. I don't really care about actually making a difference to anyone or anything; I just want the cash". And if that's the case, it's MUCH more lucrative to be a criminal. Just STEAL whatever ya like. After all, if all ya want is coin, you can simply plan one giant score, grab it, and bail. You'd get what "you wanted", right? Success! Wealth is equivalent to success for some people. Even if it was never truly earned.
It's honestly so difficult. when you've hit rock bottom, it feels extremely lonely as you've become "useless" to everyone else since you add no value to their plans of achieving their goals. You desperately crave connection but you isolate yourself too just so you don't expose yourself as a "loser." You've got two options, do what you wish to do and do what the society deems worthy. When you do what you wish to do, it feels good momentarily as it gives you that freedom, joy of doing what you like, an ephemeral feeling of being in control. And then, the doubts and the uncertainty thoughts creep in, you start questioning if you're doing the right thing. You realize that you'll still be seen "useless" and won't get that social connection. So you decide to dreadfully do what everyone else is doing, constantly avoiding the interactions where you're expected to explain why you aren't at the level where everyone else is in, knowing fully well that you can't catch up to the people you once knew. The gap can't be bridged and no matter what you do, you're still alone, helpless and unhappy.
Well said. I'm proud to be someone who has transcended the herd mentality and enjoy the peace that comes with it. Nothing sounds worse than living in that oppressive brainwashed superficial herd trap. I find women to be hugely in line with supporting this machine of status, superficiality, and deeming mens worth solely on their job. Whatever happened to wisdom and depth? Very few care about the value of character, soul and heart anymore.
Overreliance on achievements can breed insecurity and stress. Cultivating self-worth regardless of accomplishments cultivates resilience and tranquillity, fostering authenticity and confidence. This mentality empowers individuals to confront challenges and seek fulfilment through genuine self-acceptance.
That is because men only go for looks and sex. If you learn from a very young age, that you character, your feelings, your knowledge and your good heart is only looked at by men if they're needs for looks and sex are meeted of course you react the same way.
This is so true. I spent the first twenty years of adulthood "doing the work" on myself, figuring myself out, investigating my challenges and trying to learn and find solutions; ensuring I'm accountable, loyal and supportive. And where do I find myself? Amongst a bunch of emotionally immature "adults" that lie, cheat and are mostly solipsistic and unaware of my existence beyond whatever way they've pigeonholed me.
That's so true!!! I've noticed this as well. There's this weird herd mentality in society.
I'm 21 years old and have recently discovered that I was turning into a human doing. The spotlight effect had almost gotten me crazy. I had become so self conscious and obsessed about myself and its mainly because I'm a content creator. I have decided to retreat for a while to concentrate on just being a person. This video found me at the right time
Thank you kindly Einzelgänger, you are a jewel on the internet. When I remember of the loved ones I lost in life, I never think of their status, their success or lack thereof, but of the good times we had together, the ideas we exchanged, the love and friendship. When looked at from a considerable distance, our lives must seem absurd. So damn busy perfecting our rehearsed behavior that we neglect the things that really matter. Friendships, love, spending time together.
I have a disability which makes it hard for me to work. I love these videos. They focus on the underdogs of society. My disability is out of my control but others view me as being responsibility for my output despite my disability. Others accept. Most don’t. It’s interesting. Definitely feel like I’m against the grain of societal expectations for reasons that are not my choosing.
I got autism 🎉🎉🎉🎉😮
I feel that.
Same with me. I've gotten to the point when people ask what do you do I say I live life and talk about how there are people in wars, homeless, abused etc and I care more about those people, animals and nature more than what society pushes on me. Its never asked again. I also say I'm disabled but that doesn't mean I don't deserve a life of value, love and meaning. You have value and worth and how you live is for you to live and no one else. You matter in this world and societal pressures aren't worth beating yourself up for not being like everyone else. You matter.
Don't play the victim card. Take responsibility even though it's not your fault.
"My alone feels so good, I'll only have you if you're sweeter than my solitude." - Warsan Shire
Many seem to think that success is having a job, a partner and a family But how can those things even be special anymore when the majority of people have those things anyway? Plus you're just debasing them to be shiny trophies that exist merely to boost your ego Life is about experiencing being alive and enjoying the sinple joys of being alive Feel the wind on your face Walk on the sand Enjoy your favourite meal Take pleasure from the gift of pure being
The problem is not only does society expect you to have money, but everything that is involved in society expects it. As a man it’s not a choice unless you find the resources to be comfortable.
Some money is needed to live in society, but there's a difference between making enough for a living and struggling to make as much money as possible, as though your worth depends on it.
@@Vitali_Osandor you gotta be able to feel comfortable
I was mind controlled to believe I was shit unless I became a rock star Imagine that !? Ofcourse it didn’t happen and I was left feeling empty and self hatred But now I feel better about myself at 52 I live a quiet life of a massage therapist still creating music in my cabin in the woods I’d say that’s a success Never had kids or marriage
I love how you describe your life currently.
That's why i try to stay away from others as much as possible. Cause nowadays the majority of people have become super materialistic, fake and shallow tryhards who strive for superficial " success " of wealth, attention and power, to mostly brag and be toxic towards others of how great they are. That's why i try to mostly avoid dealing with others, i can't stand these fake toxic tryhard behaviors.
Glad I grew up in the punk rock subculture. One of our central values was and remains dismissal of seeking the herds approval.
Agreed! Grew up going to Hardcore Punk shows and I've learned to retain the core values such as straying away from the herd mentality.
Isn't joining a subculture like swapping one herd for another?
@FlorisDVijfde you could go on with that line of thinking right off the cliff literally. The important take away is to think independently of the mass culture and not just blindly swallow what that mass culture feeds you. If on the road you cross like minded souls who willing to risk ostracism from the mass crowd, so be it. Compare notes, but always remain true to your own thinking.
@@FlorisDVijfde You have a point. I should've stated straying away as in being able to comprehend and think what's right for myself in that context haha.
Success is subjective. For me, success is learning to be as self sufficient as possible. Others may see my lifestyle as needless work or time wasted or frivilously doing nothing. But I don't need others to understand why I choose to live as I do. All I need is for me to approve of it.
I failed an important exam (I'm 17) and I got this today I felt very bad about myself. Seeing other people of my age qualifying the exam with a great score where on the other hand I'm here preparing for another attempt. But as i watched and absorbed the video i realized how greatly the students who qualify this exam are treated and are seen as intelligent and respectable although they could be lacking values that makes us humans. So on the basis of this examination the society might view them as they are the "cream" of the society. It has become a race where every students wants to overshine you in a way that might use some self serving purposes and lies. The place where i go to study (for preparing the exam) there everybody looks so robotic, everyone competing other and the need to overshine. Im not saying its bad but i prefer healthy competition where everyone interacts with no self serving purpose. I made some mistakes, i accepted them and i am working on it so that i can qualify this time.
Lot of people here did studies too...the good news is : it will not define your futurs jobs or life. At 17, teachers and parents will not says it, but it's not that important.Society at large loves to give a predestination to young adults, because it's the "stable" mentality. Which is very untrue, life is unstable by definition. The people that learn fast and adapt fast are the real smart people. What is important is your critical thinking skill, patience and humility, that's what makes the differences in the long term. Everything can be learn from thoses 3 important things. Schools are designed to make people employees and obey the rules, but it's the social game that is asked. Get that paper, but do not stress it too much.Good luck.
@@corbeauwrite i always try to adapt to the situation. And i try to gain lessons from it. (i follow stoic philosophy and buddhist philosophy). And yeah you are right those 3 things are very important. The exam is important to me because through it i will get admission into the med school. Thank you for your reply
Still good for you, I am 18 and all my life I have been bullied and abused by my narc father mercilessly, which greatly affected my studies. Once I revolted against my father and hit him, which resulted in me needing to take antipsychotic meds for a couple of years. It lead to me dropping out of school completely and here I am, your typical "basement dweller". You know, society doesn't give a damn about you, specially when you're a man. I wonder why the world is so cruel. Sometimes I feel like this planet ain't any different than hell, all demons who wear a facade of innocence just to hide their inner sadistic demons.
@@InsertYTHandleHere hey man, i hope u are doing well now. Your story is very sad but man never let yourself drown in self pity
I had many years of suffering in various ways...homelessness, addiction, toxic relationships(including with myself), and ran from facing myself through these and other outlets like working ridiculous amounts of hours to distract from facing myself. Until I learned about narcissistic personalities, both through experience and education, and more about myself... the likes and dislikes and the value in every experience by being present in that moment, and had my entire reality upended I was not facing myself. I felt forced to by the last relationship if only to seperate my being from what I became during the time with my ex and leading to that relationship. Things such as "why am I here?", "who am I, really?", "how did I get here?", "what was my role?"... which was difficult but, through meditation, honest self-reflection, philosophical exploration, etc. I find myself in a new reality today that lies just beneath the surface, the WHY behind the WHAT is how I understand it. The interesting thing is that most of the insights came to me, not by my effort intentionally. That is part of what changes when you sit with self honestly for me.
Yew inde3d🎉😮
Beautiful. I can relate
Allhamdullilah bro now last step read through Islam this life is a test
Beautiful
@@lobiaking8318 as-salamu alaykum
A quite pertinent video. As we look at our past decades' accomplishment' thru the lens of Stoicism, life's "meaning" changes, as we mature. Slowing down, smelling the roses, and really seeing the ridiculousness of obsessive thinking and actions, goes a long way toward feeling at peace with this chaotic world. Greeting a stranger with a cheerful "good morning" makes life right, for a little while at least. Thanks.
I didn't even realise how much I needed this video. Just the other day, I was reflecting myself on how I am a slave to "productivity" and that my sense of self worth is completely fucked. Thank you once again for thinking with me in a world that seems to do less and less of it.
I’ve always wondered why it bothered me when people constantly would ask “ What do you do?” Why do you care? Don’t put me in your box I’m allowed to be.
I personally think it’s rude and nosey to ask a stranger or someone you barely know what they do. Hence I have never been a person to do that. I have had people ask me that question and I don’t turn the question back on them because the truth is I could care less what they do.
" I own bunch of companies", Nylon Dusk, the cool guy
Thank you for this video. I've been watching your video essays for years, yet never left a comment before. As a someone who usually taps into curiosity and a healthy "go-getter" attitude by simply being excited about things and able to make things happen, I've now been stuck in a deep rut for quite a long time. Accepting this "chrysalis phase" as I call it has been a different, yet very important teacher. My value is not in my output. It is in my existence. I don't need to hurry up. This video definitely unlocked something very healing and clarifying. Thank you.
2 things I'd very much like you to discuss about : 1. the more people there are, the dumber the individual become 2. the more money you have, the less human you are (I think there are studies about this one, but don't know for sure) - kind regards :)
"I wanna be a human being, not a human doing I couldn't keep that pace up if i tried"
That's the second Scatman John comment referencing that line I've seen on this video. Glad to see his words live on.
God I fucking hate when people ask what do you do
As a person with disabilities, I struggle with internalized ableism from societal conditioning, but even if I were able-bodied, I still wouldn't want to participate in the rat race because I value my time and relationships with loved ones more than money and achievements.
Overreliance on achievements can breed insecurity and stress. Cultivating self-worth regardless of accomplishments cultivates resilience and tranquillity, fostering authenticity and confidence. This mentality empowers individuals to confront challenges and seek fulfilment through genuine self-acceptance.
This is what I've been saying for so long. Since I started to see the ugly face of this era, after all of what I've been through! This achievement society, harmed the humanity in general, by killing the good souls in people. The less someone has conscience, the more successful he is, according to their standards.
society needs you to be a cog in the wheel of consumerism to keep it afloat. That's why retired people, or unemployed people are shunned. You are the worth of your job and if you have a high value job , then they want you to believe that you're high value.
When I'm down, he shows up, I stand up.❤ thank you bro
My go to answer to the "What do you do" question is "As little as possible". It gives the asker a chance to come up with a witty reply, while subtly saying fuck that soulless question.
lol I've said it heaps and the most common response is: "Wise man". Head nods.
Sometimes, people want to drag us down with them in their vicious circle of misery and rage, if there is peace & personal fulfilment in our lives, they are jealous of us and want us to be like them. You, who reads this, try to learn how to differentiate every person' s daily life and compare it with yours. You will start to live after it.
Easier said than done! An understatement. We need more philosophy along these lines,we should be more humanitarian, difficult task when money reigns Supreme. Thanks for your words.
It's good to see a channel like this one giving a treatment of this topic. I say that as exactly the kind of narcissist you're describing. I don't have NPD! Nonetheless, my self-worth depends completely on my academic and work achievements. I'm never content with what I have achieved, because if I rest, more people will surpass me, and I'll be worth less in comparison. It's as if whatever self-worth I can gather evaporates over time, so I have to always be looking for more. I keep people at arm's length because, on some level, friendships and romances are another standard I have to meet or surpass. You have to spend time and attention on such things, yet I already have career standards I need to surpass, and I feel that the more people I am attached to, the further behind I will fall, so that when my time is up, I will be little more than another wisp in the sea of forgotten souls. The worst part is that we're all doing this to ourselves.
I think you have the perfect job. Doing something you like, helping other people and being able to live from it. I wish everyone, including myself, of being able to realize this one day for ourselves. Thank you for your videos, and have a nice day.
We value what really often amounts to slavery way too much. What we have can be taken away at any time.
Came for the Stoic Philosophy, Stayed to watch this channel grow to over 2M subs because that’s what stoic philosophy does-ironically it breeds success in the material world!
Seneca of Rome, the Spainard and advisor to Niro Ceadsr of Rome, before he succumbed to madness wrote letters to Niro. Excellent read. Stoicism could bring society out of this illusion sold to us by our rulers
don't let the bastards get you down. The best advice my granddad ever gave.
I've found more self-worth in knowing that my words and actions have helped those in need. You never know who you might affect.
Yes very good point and very good channel too speak about these things. Around 9 years ago. I had company with around 30 employer in construction and i was only 25 years old. So in those times ofc many people saw value and all friends familty treated me of course highly. But in my inner self i was suffering very hard and did not enjoy it because it felt everything was a forced and i did everything for other. So i notice life was not anything i enjoy really. It feelt like 24/7 i did task for everyone but me. Yes thats a good thing too help others. But not when yourself get lost in it. But i still do alot of work and fix job to many but i do not have that mutch responsibility. So people do not care about me mutch any longer and i cannot do as mutch i did in those times because i value have a little slower life right now. I enjoy go watching sports, small talks, walking, small conversation etc. I notice small things in life its almost all we have. Even if you are successful.
You see the big picture. Working to exhaustion for the entire duration of our lives. Where is the quality of life in that path?
Bro your videos are changing my life day by day and making better it was my luck that your channel came in my KZhead recommendation special thanks - from India
We forget that failure is one of the greatest teachers, though it can't be the only one. Only when you open yourself up to fully to the possibility of failing can you learn. Reflecting on that in a detached manner is how you achieve mastery.
I love the way you think and explain Einzelganger. Thank You.
great video! reminds me of your other video about not caring about societal labels put onto you. it’s a good reminder to people that what you do in this life doesn’t determine your worth, the fact you’re alive at all makes you worthy of living a nice life
How is your life? A "successful" life is an opinion of others. A "satisfied" life is an opinion of yourself. Were mistakes made? Probably. But if you are satisfied that you did the most with what you had, why does the opinion of others matter? My opinion of myself is what matters, I was on the battlefield. The opinion of those in the grandstand do not matter. Make it a great day.
This video will help a lot of people gain a new perspective. It’s perfect for the moment that we’re in. Thank you.
I so needed this video right now. Thank you, so much!!
I'm an edutainer and it currently pays like trash. I know my value but others take it for granted. I sell myself and tell myself; "Why not me?" in a positive sense and; " F them!" in an honest tense. Take from this what you will I'm "just" being. Thanks for producing and reading.
One thing I've been thinking of, is that we as human beings need to strive for success in order to be able to afford basic living standards. We simply need a lot of money to survive. Nowadays, most of us need to work super hard and long to be able to afford a tiny apartment and to pay the bills. If life was more affordable, we would perhaps not push ourselves as hard and be more calm with achieving less. It's just that basic things in life are not as accessible for younger people anymore. It puts a lot of pressure on younger generations to perform. We are so stuck in the rat race that we put aside other important things in life, such as having kids, etc.
Thank you. I needed this right now. I am in the midst of easing out of the workplace (mid 60s) and finding it difficult. I have in my head my ex-husband's voice telling me that even the job I had "wasn't a REAL job' because it was customer service and his two daughters telling my that I could have gotten a "good' job if I had a degree instead of diploma. And here I am easing out of a job that was already ridiculed and going in to retirement where society wonders what you USED to be, now that you are NOTHING.
Society uses us and then discards us when we are deemed "useless." I hope you find peace of mind and can enjoy your your life and tell all those voices to go to hell!
This channel is absolute gold, it explains concepts we think about but struggle to convey.
Soy un profesor de japonés. No trabajo a tiempo completo, y por tanto, no gano mucho, pero tampoco me considero pobre. También soy escritor novato. Se han vendido bastantes ejemplares de mi primer libro, pero para nada es un best seller o algo así. Sin embargo, me encanta mi trabajo. Puedo estar muy triste un día, pero cuando voy a dar clases, se me pasa. Ser profesor tiene muchas partes duras, pero para mí valen la pena. Nunca estoy contando cuánto tiempo falta para terminar la clase e irme, sólo pienso si me alcanza el tiempo para enseñarles lo que necesito. No siempre marcha bien todo, pero la mayoría del tiempo, terminado mis pequeñas jornadas satisfecho. Aún hay cosas que quiero lograr, pero son para mí, no porque alguien me lo haya dicho.
Your Spanish it’s impeccable.
@@emmitavargas Well, it comes with being a writer and a native speaker n_ñU That's actually why I wrote it in Spanish, because in English it would have taken plenty of time to do it, since it's not my forte.
Ohh for some reason I thought you were Japanese lol
@@emmitavargas Don't worry, even in my country people think I'm from other country but Costa Rica. There has been 2 or 4 people who also thought I was Japanese, especially because it's kind of my second language XD XD
It is really upsetting to know that in this world you are worth only in terms of money, fame, and status. People always tell you that you are doing good in life, only if you are wealthy, have lots of friends, and have done what society expected of you...... It makes us feel undeserved and that we will never be enough..... This video is so refreshing, makes me feel like I am not the only one who views the world different. ! Keep on the good work...your videos are an inspiration
It just transforms you into a slave to a system that views you as nothing but a thing Nobody has the right to dictate our worth to us based on their pathetic scales of achievement
I’m wondering if this could ever change.. this endless comparison game is a mental disease. This planet should be called Never Enough..
While saying that people use money as measurement is one edge, this video is the other edge. I consider both edges to be pretty bad for a person. In order to understand the world better, you need to seek of how very first humans work. During our era, you provide goods/service you know/can, and others provide you goods/services you don't know/can't. That's all. Money just comes in as a parameter to answer "how much this good/service is needed in our society currently".
Totally agree!! It seems like it will never be enough, we have to keep pursuing something else and never be content with anything. Hope there are people who know better
I've cleaned toilets and I've been a doctor. Cleaning toilets was very meaningful work. I cleaned the toilets (and the showers and did the vacuuming) of the disabled and elderly. Doing this work was a simple way of doing some good in the world. Sometimes being a doctor feels like endless form filling for nothing. We have made a mess of the world.
Men in the west are born and told by society we have no value until we do things that will bring said value. If we're not making tons of money, run companies, be tall, fit, handsome, rich etc etc..we're not being "real men". View the reaction by anyone when they learn a guy is unemployed or struggling. It's instantly "whats his problem?" or "He needs to pull himself up and just go do it" This has lent credit to the rise of the online grind-master gurus because so many are trying to figure out "how" to become so valuable.
Since we trade time for money, time is the most valuable thing we have. The more of my time I can keep and use for myself, the richer I am. Owing people time is prison.
Time, attention, energy.
C'est vrai !
The best vlog from Einzelganger yet!
I like your videos and resonate with them. This is something which I struggled with and struggled even more with because so few people acknowledge what is happening. Thank you for your awareness. I basically feel my worth depends on my successes or failures. I thought I was the only one who thought this. But now it makes sense that I am just a byproduct of my time and environment.
I derive some self-worth from having avoided the safe & effective.
Great video once again! Upon watching this video, I couldn't help but notice its profound resonance with Stoic philosophy, particularly the teachings of Epictetus. The exploration of societal pressures and their impact on individual self-worth echoes Epictetus' emphasis on focusing only on what is within our control, namely our thoughts and actions. Just as Epictetus advises us to detach our sense of self-worth from external validations, the video highlights the folly of basing our intrinsic value solely on societal expectations and achievements. Camus (totally different philosopher) famously posited that the human condition is inherently absurd, characterized by the tension between our innate desire for meaning and the universe's indifference to our existence. I like to combine the Stoic notion of eudaimonia, or inner flourishing with absurdist philosophy. It gives me a lot of peace of mind. Han himself, which you mention, draws mostly upon themes from critical theory and cultural analysis, exploring how the relentless pursuit of productivity and success in contemporary society breeds a culture of exhaustion and alienation. This is something Marx warned us about long ago. But I always like to look at it from different perspectives! Thanks for the thought provoking content!
Damn great points made, makes me feel stupid lolz
You seem very educated on these topics!!
This video should have been done about 15-20 years ago. In the United States people aren’t shamed for being losers. They’re applauded. The people at the top don’t want people being driven anymore, harder to control. And the losers aren’t human, not in the sense that they’re usually good people. The worst in society is being elevated.
"Job-based worth as human" is actually pretty normal here in America and has been since the 1800s. It's a shame that culture has gone and infected the old countries, probably via the internet. Working hard is important but what a sad place if it's the only thing that's important. Good video.
Your content is very appreciated 🙏🏾❤️
That is why I said GOODBYE to "civilization". In the middle of nowhere, off grid and feeding myself. I don't need people. Just my dog.
People are overrated. I like a few individuals, but not people in the aggregate. I'm 15 miles from the nearest small town. And it is a nice place as towns go, but I have no desire to live there. The large cities have become awful places to live. I have dogs too. They just showed up. Refugees like me. I think folks like us see the world differently. Enjoy this day, pilgrim.
....and typing on youtube
@@kalinmir Like Grizzley Adams with Wi-Fi and a laptop. Nothing wrong with technology.
@@kalinmiryes, cry harder
@@MarinKarin-dj9pm ???
I don't know. I've been flat broke and everyday did what I wanted. I was depressed and had anxiety about my future. Now I work a difficult yet fulfilling job and have a ton of cash flowing in. I still live quite modestly aside from my property and a few toys. My financial future is secured and I'm able to do what I want when I'm not working. To me this truly is the way to live. I've never been happier. Hard work is good for the soul.
"money is everything in our modern society." "Attention sells because it's the new currency."
I really needed this today thanks for all your hardwork
"What do you do?" = "How do you make money?"
I don't work for my money as much as my money works for me.
Or what do you do for money
this video is the foundation of my belief in life
I really value your videos. It's a doorway into better introspection, and I really think this world needs more of it.
I'm still trying to overcome this at 54, even though I'm also looking forward to retirement when I imagine that I will take myself off the hook, and not judge myself. In my head, when I'm retired, it'll be ok for me to just ''be''. Except, I won't have as much money as I'd like. I've tried about 5 times to go up a grade at work and each time I put so much work in and yet i don't get through. I feel like there is something different about me.
I'm sure there's nothing different about you. There's many reasons you could be overlooked that are not your fault. Try to keep positive. Retire and "be" yourself unencumbered by all the exhausting performance mandated by capitalism. And you might be shocked that less money doesn't radically curtail your happiness. Just don't let a failure to be promoted define WHO you are. 😊
I’d say the person cleaning toilets or garbage collectors, plumbers, mechanics, farmers or anyone doing manual labor is far more valuable and contributes more to society than any ‘product manager’, ‘entrepreneur’, etc.
Depends on the entrepreneur. Entrepreneurs could do much much more for society.
@@versatileduplicity9313 And what exactly? Speeding up the destruction of our planet?
I first heard about Byung-Chul Hans work a few months ago and it has actually given me a lot of hope for the future. When we have the words to describe the rules of this game, we can also start to get an intuition for how the game can be changed to make room for actual humans.
Exact moment of uploading this...i needed this and was waiting for you..thanks ❤❤❤