How To Lose a Screenwriting Competition on Page 1
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What are the twelve PAGE ONE MISTAKES that can alienate the reader and kill off your chances of winning a screenwriting competition?
WHO IS SCRIPTFELLA?
I'm a seasoned WGA screenwriter & story consultant. I've been optioned or commissioned by over 30 US and UK studios and production companies including: Universal Studios, Working Title, Bold Films, Scott Free, BBC and ITV. Recent produced credits include the award-winning motion picture An Act of Defiance (2017) and the not-so-award winning Hard Target 2 (2016)...which did earn me my WGA card.
If you'd like me to help you tell YOUR STORY, shoot me an email on scriptfella@gmail.com and let's get stuck in.
Contact Cat Stewart @ The Nashville Film Festival
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"When you first write it, write it linear - and then find a way if you're going to break it up." Brilliant. I've often wondered how things like Berlin Station are written. Now I know he probably wrote it linear and then jumbled it all - in the right way. Thanks to Cat for sharing her insights!
It's funny how we all agree that if a movie is bad for 90% of its duration, then the ending won't really save it. But when you read scripts, you realize the writer thinks you'll "Hang In There" 'cause it gets better. That ending summed it up. Great video.
Once again, you post weapons-grade screenwriting material. I cannot thank you enough for making this content available. This is why the Internet and KZhead is for. Cheers!
Thank you, it’s comments like yours that remind me I need make more vids!
11 people don't want to rewrite their characters waking up in bed lmao. Great video keep the good work.
Can't help but think of LOTR when your first rule came up (starting with a flashback, backstory prologue, voice over, burying the main character unless you're counting the Ring as the main character) This is exactly what is frustrating about competitions. You get people telling "NEVER DO THIS" or "ALWAYS DO THIS" and yet, it's insanely easy to point out in five seconds highly successful scripts that ignore that advice. Makes me think that these competitions are not here to elevate us to the next level, but to toy with our dreams while profiting from them. Writers, honestly, just put out your stuff in your own way. If it's good, the mountain will come to you.
I was under the impression that these videos are for people trying to break into the screen writing business. Once you make a name for yourself you can take more creative gambles and not follow "the rules" as strictly.
Nb Cat was referring to backstory prologues for the lead character. Lotr doesn’t have one of these for Frodo.
@@danp2687 True. Besides, I don't think the LOTR script was a spec, was it? Anyhow, it's based on a hugely famous classic, and in those cases -- as Kenneth Branagh pointed out about his Cinderella -- it's no so much about what is going to happen as it is about how it is going to happen.
Well said. New writers should take note of this comment. And this channel should interview you if your in the industry. Great advice
@@Scriptfella okay well that isnt clear in the video, so slightly mis-represented. But that doesn't cover the other problems I pointed out.
1. Write something in medias res or the ending instead of a flashback 2. Write the crucial point of a backstory that's related to the main story instead of a backstory prologue 3. Write a question provoking flashforward instead of a random flashforward 4. Write wake up is fine if you make the wake up interesting or to set up something crucial to the character 5. Write camera angles and stuff is fine if you just use it to emphasise a very important part 6. Write a note for the reader is fine, not on how to read but on what to take a look at because they might miss out something 7. Write a false protagonist first is fine, not every story starts with a main character 8. Write an unclear genre is fine, because in the end, it is not about the genre, it is about the story and the story will define its genre. If you write a story to win harsh competition, you need to go beyond the common rules. Sure you need to hook the reader within the first page, write something bizarre and strange. But that's not enough, the opening must provoke questions and introduce the core concept of the story. Let's say, if a movie's name is "Sky Hunter", the opening should be about a man who glides in the sky, killing people. Even better if that man is underground, people will be like: "Why the hell the movie name is Sky Hunter but this dude is doing things underground. Well, maybe there are two worlds, the sky world where the rich live and the underground world where the poor live, and the movie is about a poor dude trying to get rich or to hunt the rich".
Uncut Gems has a fantastic opening. We start off in a chaotic sequence in an Ethiopian diamond mine, we see the risks that folks go through to get the uncut gem in question (in this case, an opal), then we spend the next 20 minutes understanding Howard’s (Adam Sandler) world and the risks he has. His colonoscopy for cancer, his brother-in-law’s loan sharks coming for him, etc. Best of all, all this stuff comes into play later in the film. It’s a true masterclass.
I love that movie - nb the trope that Cat and I were calling out: prologues which deliver backstory on the lead character.
@@Scriptfella So, are you saying that backstory of Howard's risks and the origins of the gem should have been avoided, or in this case, it works? (I personally liked the opening of the film.) It's confusing to hear "absolutely no [insert trope here]" and then "but if it's done really well, it's okay." I can think of a bunch of prestigious contest winners that start off with waking up, voice overs, etc. Would Cat have absolutely not read any further in those scripts because of these factors? How does a reader know those tropes are actually acceptable without reading the rest of the script? Do only established writers get to play with these tropes? Asking genuinely... and great to see you back here! Been waiting for a new vid.
@@Scriptfella Come on. Please show us a page from his books where Snyder tells writers to show someone waking up in bed. It DOESN'T HAPPEN.
@@DDumbrille Hello - Synder is not directly responsible the explosion of wake and toast scenes - but the way that writers are interpreting his advice to set up the character's journey "at home" before the inciting incident of the story is clearly leading to writers starting with wake up and breakfast scenes.
@@Scriptfella Well, that's not his fault, that's the stupidity of the writers, who clearly don't understand the definition of 'home'.
Between this one and the “how to win a contest” vid, it should help everyone to nail those first 10 and get their script starting on the right foot. Weapons grade for sure.
Dom, I believe I have come across 1400 Don'ts from readers and Judges and in the end if they are all followed it leaves nothing left. They even cancel each other out over and over. One example: No poetical description of character "Marcia's sudden appearance sucks the air out of the room". No male gaze. No character description because some aspect of the description will limit or offend someone. What does that leave? Characterful action that conveys character, you might say, and that sounds great but to do that with the protag and the 5 other characters in the scene who will be in the film becomes a bit rough. And then there is the conundrum of the opening being Status Quo or "Before the Call to Action" which is in direct contrast to having a bombastic grabbing opening that is within the bounds of the status Quo before the Call and not in the past or the future so all this leaves is to have an opening and character intros that are fresh and engaging and new and innovative even though they are taking place before the story is supposed to get started, before the call to action. There are so many reader rules that everything begins to negate itself leaving almost no room to actually tell a story. It is becoming clear to me that a good new script is one that breaks all of the rules and engages despite the 1400 dont's. Love your vids by the way.
@@maryalison1321 ??
I've been doing this (writing scripts)for a long time. Do whatever you want, just do it well.
What a great closer for the video!
Screenwriting is like cooking, it’s an art. It’s not like baking, that’s a science. You can’t judge art! We watch movies, not reviews.
Just found your channel through reddit. What an amazing content here! A lot of good points being pointed out but I don't quite agree with some points (like introducing character on page 1). What I hold on to from time-to-time is you can freely follow the 'rules' or broke it (it doesn't matter) as long as you can make the script/story interesting. But personally, I couldn't agree more with: "When you first write it, write it linear. Then find a way to break it up." I've wrote non-linear several times but got confused on where to introduce certain characters/events, & eventually finds the script stinks. Then I tried writing it linear first, scrambles it in the latter, & finds the script to be so much better! TLDR: Amazing content! Will binge your videos when I have the time for sure.
Great video as always Dominic Morgan and pertinent not just to comps but sending stuff to prod cos and their over stretched development assistants churning through their subs piles. As others have said - agree with these points except possibly show the protagonist on page 1 which I think is debatable. It’s a good rule of thumb but as important perhaps is that when you show them (page one or not) give them an entrance that justifies why they are the protagonist.
Scriptfella, you’re finally back making videos. Making my drives up to Manchester much more educational, thank you and MORE please. I’ll be in touch ☺️👌🏻
I'm new to screenwriting and am about to start reading Truby's Anatomy of Genre. But, am also attending the university of KZhead. Just being judicious about whose advice I take. More is not more. Bad advice can result in bad habits that take awhile to unlearn. Look forward to more of your videos. Thanks much!
Wow! And Double Wow! I work as a freelance script doctor, and I would say that 100% of my incoming screenplays are a bunch of stuff that happens, all unrelated, with no theme. And most writers add these mistakes and cliches, to boot. Damn you, Blake Snyder. Damn you all to hell!
Think this is my favourite one yet. Loving this channel.
Awesome work as always. Thank you!
I’ll always say the best first line for a novel is “It Was* A Hot Day* When John Woke Up* Angrily*.” 😊
Awesome! Thanks to both for this video! Love the stormtrooper helmet mug😉
I don't like when people say not to do something when there have been huge examples of stories that didn't do that. Examples: Psycho, The Sixth Sense, Barbarian, etc. Yes, there are always exceptions, so acknowledge that you can be successful either way instead of making these clearly arbitrary rules. It's not a good look.
Wow thank you so much!
Great video - chock full of info. Concise. Great pacing.
This was something I really needed to hear and see. Going to do a lot of rewriting now.
Glad to see Scriptfella back in action. Thanks for the videos, Dom. Your channel has been far and away the most helpful for me as a pre-WGA screenwriter.
Thanks Timothy - very chuffed to hear that.
Enjoyable and educational - thanks. I don't agree with everything said - but everything said is certainly worth considering. Nice work.
Really helpful content thank you, keep going!
Another pearl-filled post. If it starts weak, it never improves. Introduce characters how? At their most characterful! She’s seen it all great interview!
The king in screenwriting guidance! (9:42 boom)
Great Stuff Man
Fantastic Guidance!
I have definitely missed your KZhead videos!
❤❤❤ Cat at Nashville Film Fest... she will nail you on any cliche and up your screenwriting something fierce!
most brutally honest channel on scriptwriting. damn. Thank you
Hey Kirk, I'm very pleased you found the video tutorial useful. Check out the free taster classes at courses.scriptfella.com/courses/the-scriptfella-program
Great video. I’m working on a pilot currently, and I started the script with a flashforward similar to breaking breaking bad. Instead of it being a flashforward of the end of the episode, it’s a flashforward for what I believe is the end of the season. Now I’m debating if it’s a good idea lol
Nowadays, I just think about raising money to make something. Writing for studios and even streaming is done. I learned that the hard way - I got older and my scripts gathered dust. I believe studios/streamers/producers want to see something good you made. Plus at least you have control over it.
Insightful!
Thanks for this.
Thanks Scriptfella for this incredibly informative interview with Cat! Cat--Cynthia Uhrich ("White Feather" 2021 Quarter-Finalist) here. I'm so glad I didn't mess up my screenplay with any of these!! Whew. I think I want to do more editing and turn it into a feature and submit it to the Nashville festival again.
What's it about? WW1?
Just subscribed!
Useful and funny at the same time :)
Very underrated video.
Excellent and revealing as always, Dom - thanks. But at the same time, depressing, as my screenplay adaption of my novel BANGK! opens with a one page, flash forward prologue. Cat will hate it! But it's a fun dramatic opener that sets up the tone of the story really well with a closing V.O by the protagonist, in mortal danger, stating that if he was a betting man he'd put his money on Gloria. That's Gloria Gaynor who's 70s hit 'I will survive' is playing throughout the scene. Next page - we're at the tail end of a bank robbery. Do I really have to delete it?
I thought I'd add a small note. If I'd paid $70 to enter a screenplay competition, I'd like to hope that it would at least get the courtesy of a turn to the second page.
Mark, I've worked with a few people who listen to good advice acknowledge it then say, 'but my script.'
Hi Tom. Actually, the script just went through an extensive review by three terrific screenwriters. None of them commented on the 'fast forward' opener. I've just reworked the script as a result if those comments and reduced it's length by 8 pages. So it's a little unfair to suggest I dont listen to advice. My fast forward prologue is only revealed in the VO in the final part of the sequence so I think I'll just remove the Prologue heading.
Hi Mark, apologies if it sounded like I was having a dig, looking back I think that's a fair reaction, I guess my point is still the 'but' can be dangerous. However, at the same time it's up to the individual to filter feedback. Best of luck with the script!
No worries Tom. I'm always grateful to hear all opinions - I dont trust my own 🙄
I adore this channel and evey bit of advice that you give. I'd love for you or any one in this comment section to read a script I am currently working on
We all realize she just said she would be annoyed by the scripts of Godfather II (Flashback/Backstory), Pulp Fiction (Out of linear sequence), Shawshank Redemption, Ozark (Voice-over narration), Breaking Bad (Flash forward), All The Presidents Men (News reporter in bg) and Star Wars (17 minutes before we meet Luke Skywalker)?
GOLD.
Thanks for posting. A lot of good information here. "Night of the Generals" opens with someone being murdered. The victim, except for her occupation, was of no importance to the plot. Today would "Night of the Generals" get the page one reject?
Very interesting. But would you consider starting a script 2 years before jumping to present day if it adds to the story line. I had a funeral scene at the start of one of my writes which progressed to a solicitor meeting explaining how the character owns a large house own his own.
Thank you so much for this. I'm a little worried.. im writing a script for a short film where the main character is eating a lot (not really part of the plot) because he often feels so miserable and eating just gives him joy while he's going trough a lot of shit lately. So of course he gained a "little" more weight. So i think it's important to cast an actor for the role who is not on the skinny side. My introduction to the character is: In the car we see SAM, in his mid twenties, a huge guy. Is that turning people off?
I appreciate the feedback, but she just described almost every single produced Hollywood movie.
I love it when a writer submits a script with the apology "it needs a bit more work". As if hoping someone will recognize it's potential and do the work for them. That's not how the business operates. You have to do the work yourself. No one is looking for "potential". No one wants more work to do.
Got to get that 60% of writers to quit writing about waking up in bed! So many scripts, so many produced tv shows and movies, start this way. I cringe every time. Thanks Dom and Cat for a great video!
i am writing one with an opening scene and the rest is a flashback to everything leading up to the present
I don't know if you need to introduce the main character on the first page cause I've seen a bunch of great films and tv shows where the main character doesn't come into the story until 5-10 minutes in
Different rules for established writers.
@@1truemoose James Cameron wasn't established when he introduced Sarah Connor on page 5. The page 1 rule is just an over-reaction to a worse case scenario to someone taking too long, but it doesn't have to be page 1.
The other side of "Wake up and Toast" is now SP start with smoking shocking, titillating, salacious. Characters having sex, car chases, things blowing up. I turn out when I see this. I want to see interesting characters.
Pee Wee Big Adventure opens with breakfast... it's glorious!!!
Great content and interesting methods to quickly deconstruct a story for elements that are not-so effective for selling in Hollywood. However I do have doubts about the Flashback thing. Here's one way saving the flashback for later might come off ass frustrating. Readers usually want to know the things they need to know to understand the script at the beginning. If the flashback is essential, but revealed later, a reader might have the wrong expectations for a character, and when the flashback breaks that expectation being placed later in the script the reader may feel that this flashback "isn't consistent" with the character THEYVE been imagining. How do you know WHEN it might WORK to use the flashback early on? How do you know when to completely SCRAP this flashback?
Wise woman, clearly a pro reader and highly knowledgeable about the craft, and yet, I wonder if she is a judge who has 'seen it all' far too many times and now could be jaded and worn down relative to it all? Can anybody who has seen it all so many times be able to spot anything truly visionary? Just as she can see right off what doesn't work, can she any longer see what is new, has never been done, and can work, since she knows so well what doesn't? Perhaps she is jaded to scripts in general, since she has read nearly every one that has come down the pike since 1990 and so has lost any objectivity for a honed and fair subjectivity? She can spot what is likely going to be bad, but does that equate to being able to spot what might be good/great? Has her clearly highly specialized intelligence been prismed down into a negative frame of reference? I do not know the answers to these questions. I just wonder is all. I wonder if one so well-educated to spot what clearly is wrong can be counted on to spot what is new, great, and right. I have long wondered how the professionals so routinely pass by properties, ideas, that go on to make literally billions, and win awards, and capture the hearts of people. I think I am looking at why this happens. It becomes more difficult for one to spot the great possibility when they long have been looking at all that doesn't work. especially relative to, not what can't work, but that, relative to clearly bad writing and worse ideas, did not work all the times before. It becomes increasingly difficult for the average human mind to see the good and sure the great when they have seen so much bad.
Well shit... Now I have to rewrite my whole beginning because it starts with my protagonist waking up late lol
Slightly disagree with the genre is unclear point. In the Sixth Sense, there's no ghosts whatsoever until one hour into the movie. If anything, the first hint of supernatural doesn't happen at all until the 15 minute mark. And yet, the movie worked very well
A reporter reporting on a story then getting killed, didn't that happen in "Starship Troopers".
What’s you opinion on fellowships?
Same deal as contests - we all need to wow the reader and give them a good night in. D
More please! :)
Great video, but you scares the shit out of me during that jumpscare
Please sir can I participate in a script competition while been in Cameroon (Africa)?
Hi Tatapong - you can participate in most script competitions from anywhere in the world. But I’d advise you to also try and tell stories that ONLY YOU could write.
I think Netflix has launched a competition / search for African based screenwriters, have a google
" ...If you listen to Bob Dylan while reading this script, you understand the story..." 😅
"There must be someway out of here... said the joker to the thief.... There's too much confusion I can't get no relief." Yep. Makes a lot of sense now.
Is it the video that's lagging every second or so...or is it my computer?
Hi Astral’o your computer / connection I think - everything playing okay for me
Now I feel hopeless.
so, basically, this video just charged 90% of working hollywood screenwriters as guilty of these screenwriting sins. but they continue working, making more garbage. maybe the problem is not all with aspiring screenwriters... it's a deeper problem.
Sure, 3rd grade teacher from 1945…
I love the movie you created right there: "A wisecracking wannabe screenwriter is dead sure he's nothing to learn from the past, but must fight for his prejudices when an enthusiastic writer from the 1940s time travels into his screenwriting group."
@@beatrizbecker3728 Ironically, I’m not judging her for her age, but for her prejudices.
@@v-22 We all have our prejudices. Doesn't mean we are wrong about everything. In fact, the proverb says one can learn even from a dog -- so you should definitely have something to learn from a Cat...