Mom shares viral TikTok about sending kids to school in stained, clean clothes
2024 ж. 25 Сәу.
68 708 Рет қаралды
Marla Branyan said she wants her kids to feel free to play and get messy, and that parents shouldn't feel shame around dressing their kids in stained clothes.
I don’t know where stained clothes equaled neglect, but people acting like kids being messy is sometime new. Now if she went to school dirty, unkempt & smelly, that’s different.
As a kid in the 80s, I had a cousin 2 years older than me. She wasn't allowed to get dirty. Her mom was so strict about it, so nitpicky. If she spilled anything on her shirt, her mom would make her change her entire outfit, not just her shirt. It was really ridiculous and I always felt sorry for my cousin. I came back to add something else. You know how little kids will break crayons, or crayons will start to look kind of dirty and worn? Well, if her mom saw that her crayons were looking that way, she'd buy her a whole new box of crayons. I lost touch with them so I don't know if my aunt is still that way. 😆
@jenniferhansen3622 I was lucky. My mom let us play in the dirt, and never freaked out about it. Of course, sometimes we had to strip on the back porch before we came in. She was also the best at doing laundry I've ever seen- wish I'd learned her tricks.
@@debbiej.2168 kids need to be allowed to get dirty , play in dirt etc people think you are born with an immune system but that isnt entirely true , part of your immune system you are born with that is passed on from your Mother but you also build part of your immune system by being exposed to germs , viruses etc .
I know this girl I went to school with that always thought she was better than everyone and she had this mentality. She also thought if you weren’t bathing your kids twice a day, they were unsanitary and that we are bad parents. Whats hilariously ironic is that she pretends shes ok with an “open marriage” because she can’t get her husband to stop cheating on her and she chooses to stay with him but thinks kids playing outside is unsanitary. Lmao She also thought our parties were lame and refused to come because they were in the backyard with store bought food and a bouncy house and family instead of expensive crap in a rented hall. Her poor kids. I think of them sometimes and wonder how much they miss out on because of her…
@@elithasim Usually when people are like that, it's because they're very insecure. They feel they have to keep up appearances, and put on a certain facade to the world. Behind the scenes their life is a disaster. Plus people that always think they have to have the best of everything are usually deeply in debt. Her life sounds like a total mess.
Thoughtful mom. Love how she says her daughter is living her best life and doesn't want to make her daughter worry about looking perfect.
Yes! Kids are only kids once in this lifetime. Let them enjoy that time as best as you can give them. 💙✨️💜✨️🩷✨️
Heck, I'm in my 40s and when I "play" - aka garden, housework, paint, do crafts, renovate furniture, etc. I put on clean, STAINED, play clothes. Way to go, mom! You're absolutely right!
As a daycare director I absolutely agree with this mom 💯❤
I 1000% agree with this! Let your kids even inherit play - clothes from others (that are still wearable ofc). I'm a kindergarten - teacher (or a child - and youthworker as we call it here) and we expect children to be children. Jump in puddles, paint with their whole body and everything in between. The kids are going to come home with stains no matter who you are or what you do. The goal is not to be pristine, but to learn about everything, make friends and have fun while discovering who they are. These children are our future - let them be kids while they can! 🙏😄❤️
My younger brother had a shirt specifically for taco day at school
😂
We should ALL have shirts for taco day!
@@gmacchno
😂😂😂
@@gmacchwish we had taco day at school! 😂
I work in a low income part of England as a nursery, reception and year 1 TA. We get a lot of children coming to school wearing stained, consumed, hand-me-down uniforms. But the uniforms are clean and smell lovely, and the children are always fresh out of the bath, happy, well rested and well fed. It never crossed my mind to ever tell a parent that their 3 to 6 year old child should always have a pristine uniform, no matter if they're going to grow out of it in less than a year anyway, if it's going to get permanently stained in one single afternoon and if they have 4 or 5 more children to send to school. I see those stains as a sign of a happy child living a happy childhood. Grass, dirt, paint, blood from skinned knees, yummy food, markers, juice and unexplainable matter. I want to see all those stains, and only then I'll be satisfied knowing we are all providing our most precious gifts from above the best life possible ❤
Kudos mom! I do the same with my 5 year old. She comes home with stains in her clothes and she would say, “ Sorry mama, I got dirty.” But I just ask her one thing… “ Did you have fun in school?”and the only answer that I want to hear is “yes!” Nothing matters more than these kids learn through purposeful play.
Kids don't remember the clothes, they remember how they got the stain.
I remembered some clothes, but that's because part of them were ugly and I hated wearing them and some rare ones did have fun stuff on it I actually enjoyed
my brothers wife is hell bent on keeping my niece and nephews clean to the point she takes fun times away they could have so they don't dirty their shoes and clothing. It's really sad to watch, especially for my dad.
@LA-rc7cw Well she's probably the only one doing the laundry so I understand the frustration. If dad has a such a problem with it, he can help with cleaning the mess.
@@rewdskwid one other thing my dad is 73. He doesn't need to be doing anyone's laundry. He needs to not stress out worried when he is watching the boys they don't skuff their shoes.
@@LA-rc7cw I was saying the father of your nieces and nephews can help with laundry and cleaning. Mom is so stressed about it because she's most likely the only one cleaning up after them.
As a mom of two boys, I approve this message
My preschooler often comes home with marker on his clothes. So he has jackets specifically for preschool that I don't care about getting stained
I have a seven year old boy…. I send his little butt in stained pants often…. He’s ALWAYS getting dirt of recess and ink from his markers…. What am I gonna do? Yell at him o to stay clean? Spend money I don’t have on new clothes he grows out of in two months? Yea right hahah!!
Truth!
I spent several years working in daycare with all ages and 3 years specifically teaching preschool and this mom is so right! Stained clothes are not dirty… they are just clothes kids don’t have to worry about staining!
Very true as long as it’s not nasty looking I don’t see a problem with it ❤
I always assumed it was common practical knowledge to dress young children in their clean but obviously well played in clothes everyday and save the cute fancy stain free stuff for special occasions.
As a daycare/preschool teacher, the difference between stained and dirty is very obvious. Kids are messy, shit happens. I dont mind stained clothes because for some reason spaghetti is part of our meal plan and we dont always have enough smocks for everyone. Honestly please dont send your kids in their sunday best, there is no garuntee it will stay clean and it hinders your child's ability to play and be a kid. Now if you're sending your child in the same clothes for a week straight that mysteriously started smelling like pee on Wednesday, or matted dirty hair, then we're gonna have a problem. Thats neglect and that's not okay.
I agree with this mom. It took me 3 days to get washable marker stains off a dress with alcohol and oxyclean. Some were stubborn…I gave up and let her wear it with the stain and said we’d be learning how to tie dye clothes from now on.
Where I'm from, this is actually the NORM. Parents shouldn't really be angry at their kids for staining their clothes. It's part of learning. Unless they are part of the "AESTHETIC COMMUNITY"😅
I have a casual dress with a stain. I put it in the laundry every week. I don't apologize for the stain on my dress. Thank you for amplifying stains on dry clothes
This is about little kids. But Of course the obese woman with the ugly version of the LGBT flag in her profile pic wears stained clothing as an adult. How much more of a slobby far-left stereotype can you be?
This is about little kids. But Of course the obese woman with the ugly version of the LGBT flag in her profile pic wears stained clothing as an adult. How much more of a slobby far-left stereotype can you be?
This is about little kids. But Of course the obese woman with the ugly version of the LGBT flag in her profile pic wears stained clothing as an adult. How much more of a slobby far-left stereotype can you be?
Like when Maria dresses the Von Trapp children in old drapes bc they didn't have any play clothes
100%. Kids learn through play and should never be held back by their clothing. Stains are just a sign of a good time!
Thank you I was kind of scared sending my 5 yr old to school with his stained clean sweater I didn’t know if they were going to think I was being neglectful
Me too 😭
Teachers very rarely take time to report neglect or abuse. It has to be very severe for them to take action. Throughout elementary school I had several classmates who repeatedly told my teacher and the whole class that their parents physically abused them. Sadly my teachers would almost always dismiss it, action was never taken for any of these children who repeatedly told the teachers they were being hit at home.
If your kid is covered in mud, grass, paint but does not smell of pee, poop, bad breath, uncared for hair, dirty or ashy skin, scratching body parts constantly, crusty faces everyday, they know your kid is ok.
As a parent and teacher. I totally agree. I am tired of buying clothes weekly for my 3 year old to come back home in red dirt stained clothes from the playground. It’s very expensive.
Thank you😞🤦🏽♀️😂😂😂😂My 12th grader is still doing this lol
I agree , three years old doesn’t need new clothes all the time, they outgrow fast so let them wear stained clean clothes
If they already go to school in clothes that are stained, it save them the trouble of staining the clothes while they’re there ha ha
I agree! I do it all the time, especially when it is a favorite of his. My son doesn’t mind, and neither do I. Let’s go to school son! 😊 ❤
Growing up I had nice clothes and play clothes. My partner had a horrific experience growing up for staining a new pair of pants at school he was abused terribly for everything but he was playing and got muddy at a school and his crazy family was convinced his 7 year old self did it to spite them. So he got beat, people are insane. Kids are messy let them be.
ALSO to add to this : PARENTS PLEASE STOP BUYING YOUR KINDERGARTENER EXPENSIVE SHOES AND TELLING THEM NOT TO GET THEM DIRTY. During recess they cry and sit out and not play because “my mommy said not to get my shoes dirty” RIDICULOUS. THEY’RE 5-6
My mom still has 2 little art smocks that my brother and I decorated and used in daycare back in the 80s. They’re all stained and full of whatever mess we created.
Aww I’m glad you said something, my 9 year old is so messy it’s just part of who she is, her only clothes not stained is clothes I’ve bought for concerts 😂
I needed to hear this. Thank you! 😊
Yep, I think the depends on the age and the child. A lot of children don’t care about whether what they’re wearing has stains-the only time it’s different is if it’s a stain from something that is embarrassing that the child WILL care about. A “stain” is not dirty; if the clothes are clean, they still might have stains.
Here is where I’m going to step in with a useful parenting lesson. Yes, it does depend on the age of the child BUT if my eleven year old son is going to school and coming home with stains on a daily basis then you have to STEP IN and EXPLAIN to the older kids that YOU WILL NOT BE BUYING NEW CLOTHES EVERY DAY. It then becomes their responsibility to NOT STAIN THE CLOTHING.
@@joshuacoldwater Yes, of course. I was more focused on the age range discussed in this video (and the exceptions really would by any stains caused by “accidents”). Honestly if you’ve done right by the children when they’re younger, they will probably know that clothes won’t be replaced every time there is a stain/that it is okay to stain certain clothes but that they should try to treat other clothes with more care. Some children also truly just don’t care about whether their clothing is stained-and that’s fine. If they are bullied for it, they will likely start to try harder not to stain clothing/choose clothes without stains (although I think it should be explained to them that the bullying behaviour isn’t right-after all, there are children who HAVE to wear stained clothes because their family truly cannot afford newer clothes). If they aren’t bullied for it, which is common especially for those whose clothes are stained from playing sports, etc., then it’s fine too. As you said, discussion is great though. Your children are NEVER too young for a discussion. Definitely teach them that wearing stained clothes can be considered disrespectful/can come across negatively. School is fine but for job interviews, etc. it can harm your image and hurt your chances.
I can't even tell you how many times VPK told me to "not send my kid to school in dirty clothes" and no matter how much I explained to them that the clothes were clean, but stained, they would constantly give me crap about it. Who has money to buy new clothes every time their toddler spills something?!
She's a Beautiful Mom, and her Beautiful Children are well loved that's all that matters.❤
What a beautiful message 🩵
That must be in y'all community. As soon as I send my kid like that they calling CPS.
No one calling CPS on you for sending your child to school with clean clothes with paint stain or marker stain, I would not send my child to school with greasy stains though
@@Qwinbee7if a black parent sends their kids constantly to school in stained dirty looking clothes they absolutely would call CPS. Please don’t act dunce like biases doesn’t exist.
Correct they will see it as "dirty" regardless and catch you a case. Use OxyClean yall and takle the stains like normal.parents. sheesh
My granddaughter is 10 and loves clothes but is constantly getting stains, paint, marker and other stuff on them. I always ask her to try to be more careful, but it doesn’t help.
She's happy and healthy! That's all that matters! People need to find bigger problems!!!
Thank you! I've been debating it for a while. My daughter is sooo messy. At least once a week she uses her backup clothes.
I totally agree with this!
Thanks I needed to hear tht
❤
If i had a kid that took after me they'd have to all black & only black. There's a reason I change my clothes as soon as I get home into my house clothes & its because I WILL stain the crap out of them. I also craft in them. But thats not why they get stained. I'm just naturally messy when relaxed. I tend to keep using the same old stained but clean clothing in my home for years upon years. It also makes my good clothes last longer. Kids have always had play clothes that were meant to have life happen to them. But if this is a problem you can always redye the clothes another probably darker color.
Good for you mom!
Absolutely!
Spray n wash is amazing.
Totally, totally agree!!
I get bundles of clothes for my toddler from Vinted. Most of the time the clothes are unused but there are some that are. Im saving loads by not buying new and its not a big deal when they get messy/stained. She also gets hand me downs from her older sister.
Im so grateful for the dark uniforms over here even our nurserys. Tops are dark reds, blues, greens and trousers are gray, navy or black. No thinking required once their in primary is the same with the jumpers and bottoms but with white polo shirts that are so easy to bleach. Even our day cares have a dress code of dark colours no leggings no skirts no shorts.
Shout stain spray is wonderful!! Just spray every stain as they take the clothes off and throw in the hamper to sit at least a couple of hours and then just do the laundry and most all go away. But who cares if a child wears something stained to play in. They're having fun ❤️
Weird! It hasn’t worked for me. I have tried several times. 😭but it’s ok because I wholeheartedly agree with this lady in the video. It’s not a big deal.
I've always used oxiclean
😂 exactly like, it's not that hard to try to remove it bunch of lazy ass parents 😂
My son has sensory issues so he refused to get dirty when he was younger, my 3 year old daughter on the other hand does not care. She has clothes specifically for daycare, and oxiclean is a must to get most of the stains out.
Damn right 💯
Appreciate the sentiment here 💛 but Oxi-Clean gets the tough stains out?.. Billy Mays told us that for years. It has a big section in your local grocery store. I'm 28 years old and I still get stains on a lot of my clothes. I barely even scrub and soak anymore cause I don't have time. All I do is spray directly and also put in extra powder with the detergent. It rly gets out most of them... If anything remains, it fades in multiple washes And I use other brands too, but Oxi-Clean is trustworthy
💯 yes, Oxi Clean!!!!!!!
Love this!!! My almost 10 year old has those stained prints on her knees from playing at the playground. I wash laundry daily. I also let her change her clothes at many times as she wants at home. I can’t afford a new outfit for every day of her 18 years of life. Clothes are clean but stains are permanent.
Oh, I’m *sorry*, is someone actually complaining about a THREE YEAR OLD coming to school in “stained” clothes? The freaking *audacity*.
The way I used to drive my mom crazy in my adolescence from wiping the graphite off my fingers from shading the still life sketches I did wherever I was! I hated using the shading sticks since my fingers did such a better job, but man, that stuff got EVERYWHERE and I was OBSESSED with sketching!
Yes muma!! I did the same thing!! They got stained at school when apparently the paint wont! So I did tp the clothes were washed n cleaned but for mucky play xx
I dress all 3 of my kids in their Sunday best everyday for years now. They are absolutely able to get messy, dirty, etc… it’s not synonymous with them not being able to have the same fun as someone with stained clothes. I understand the nuisance of stained clothes so I don’t judge other parents but parents judge me as well for quite the opposite. That one lady said it best how we shouldn’t judge kids for how they dress. Period.
Stain remover works. The Walmart brand is cheap.
not only is it common sense, but it was suggested to me by the school. pick your battles people!
When my daughter was in preschool, I gave the daycare an art bib for her to wear. I grew up wearing smocks during art, not sure why that practice went away. Also not sure why preschoolers need markers. Give them crayons until they know not to mark up the whole room and themselves.
Or just use color wonder markers & paint. Also smocks for kids is dirt cheap. They should be wearing them or an old adult T-shirt.
I was Deputy Manager at a nursery, and I always told new parent's on their first visit, "PLEASE don't send them in their best clothes, they'll only get covered in paint, pens, dirt, etc. We put aprons on them, but more often than not, they preferred, to slide those little hands, under the apron, and rub them on their belly, covering whatever finery they were wearing that day!!" I've had so many upset parents when their clothes have been stained, even though they have had a welcome sheet, that covers this very topic!! I've had parents say "Please don't let her get dirty, we're going out to eat when I pick her up".... Said child, is in nursery for 8 hours, and in a frilly, baby pink, dress, FFS. So I changed her, into our spare clothes. CLEAN, but paint stained...mum went ballistic, you couldn't win with some parent's, even when we were trying to help.....
I agree with her, my kid comes back with her hair messed up and clothes stained and shoes torn down, so i don't spend top dollar for nothing she wears currently due to her age... When she gets older and more responsible it'll change, but until then it's Goodwill hunting for clothes and shoes🤷🏿♀️ No sense in wasting money right now on expensive things when it can go to what she'll need replaced later...
Preschool teacher here. I’d prefer it if the parents sent their kids in stained clothes. Less stress for us.
Amen!
What’s crazy is I work with teachers and some of them judge the kids family based on the clothes and if they’re clean/pressed etc
Agreed.
Couldn't agree more (:
The problem is other parents + teachers. I wish everyone would just agree on not taking anything out on kids, even if you don't agree with it, simply because well, they can't do anything about it
I feel this lady my 7 year old boy in 1st grade ... It's bad
Nursery wardrobe is essential because these 2,3 years olds are ruthless
💯!! We have kids! Not TikTok influencers! Who the fudge cares?! If you care get a life.
Both my kids have school uniforms and they're stained with paint and they are washed and reworn every week. Who on earth is throwing out perfectly good clothes because of a few stains. Strange!
I just use diluted dye to cover stains, also tie decals with rubber band and keep out of dye
I have a 6 year old who is also autistic and very messy and he stays his clothes all the time and I can't afford to replace them every time he stands them so yeah I put my son in stain clothes as well now if we're going to town or going out to eat that's a different story you know if we're going to like a family function depending on what we're doing where we're going we were going to be with nine times out of 10 he will have stained clothes on
This is how it should be. When my mother in law or sister in law were watching my little one, they always put something else on her then what I had set out for her. I would ask why is she in something else like a Sunday dress that is now ruined. They would say she can't go to school like that. The clothes were clean but slightly stained. She was only 4
I had a family member whose older child was not even a year apart from my youngest so she would pass down his clothes to us. I never had to buy clothes because the giving well was plentiful and I was great full
I grew up poor… stained, clean clothes was all I had. Usually second hand.
Listennnn I have a six-year-old. And she gets down.😂 most of her clothes are play clothes, and the rest are closed specifically for days when she needs to be dressed up😅 I would be damned if my parents didn’t raise me on the thrift store because my bank account will be in cahoots with me. seasonally we get rud of worn down or too small clothes and then go to the thrift store for play clothes and brand new clothes for days out, period and I’m not changing. People will have you believing that kids need big designers, brand new clothes and shoes every outfit, and hair laid or cut weekly. It’s a waste for them to grow out of soon and beating up the shoes and clothes anyway 😂😂
As moms, we have the fancy pile of clothes, presentable clothes, school clothes/stained clothes so we can pick accordingly. I use some old dresses as pjs too!
Same as Nana raising her adventures artist lol i will not buy brand new just for a deep stain.
Amen
Right, when I was a kid I got 2 brand new outfits twice a year, Christmas and Easter. The rest of the time I wore hand me downs and garage sale finds. All it did was turn me into an adult that can dress well for super cheap.
Agreed
Did just that this morning
I teach Prek and don't care if their clothes are stained. If anything, I feel like they shouldn't be sent in in their "nice" name brand clothes. They get dirty even just sitting at the table lol.
As a daycare worker..we don't even recommend sending kids in "good" clothes. They're learning how to feed themselves, painting, playing outside, laying in the sand, etc. The day you put them in those fancy clothes and expensive shoes will be the same day they have spaghetti for lunch and cheese puffs for snack 😆😆😆🤷🏾♀️
My boys favorite shirts have paint on them from school. It wont come out, but its stll their favorite shirt 🤷🏻♀️
Good on her but you could use color safe bleach if you want to, its affordable. Sometimes i just use vinegar and soak the clothes ❤ we aint gotta answer for every little thing if you dont agree with it.
My job is to do laundy and soak the stain cloths for a 3 and 7 year old. I get paid 30 and hour for this... Not everyone can afford that.
I do this with my toddler at the park.
Wow, there are so many other things to worry about.
I agree with her.. but knowing this about my kid.. I’m not buying light colored clothing
It depends on the age. If she is grade 2 I would not do that. Kids are picky and it there is the chance she can get bullied.
Stains are fine, but rips, dirty and too small or big is a no from me dawg. Having had no little girls, I’ve never had to worry about pink pants though. 😂 Frustrating as it is, kids are messy and if they are not, you should question why they aren’t.
Im this mom. lol, as long as my kids are clean I don't care if have stains. Or even holes in the knees of the pants. She's happy.
I wear clean stained clothes lol 40! I like that dress 👗 I’m still going to wear it! 😌 and continue getting dirty!!!
She will get bullied in elementary school if she goes to school in stained stuff.
My second daughter can make a brand new shirt look like it’s 10 years old in less than 4 hours. She is 9. She is constantly playing outside, painting, cooking with her abuelo, etc. she is my wildest kid and is constantly doing stuff. I cannot get her to keep her clothes looking brand new. Obviously I wish she would so that her sister can wear it after her since she is bigger than her sister, but shes 9. Big deal
If your a homeschooler its worse. People look for any excuse. Thats why alot of homeschoolers look like they live on a farm or just came from church.