The Toxic World of Self Help: Hustle Culture, Toxic Positivity, Addiction, and Fake Gurus.
The toxic world of self help: a world surrounded by toxic positivity, self help addiction, fake gurus, and hustle culture.
It’s the side of ‘self-development’ that is often overlooked by those on the outside, and even those who are avid consumers of the industry.
In this video we take a dive into the dark side of self-help, and the traps that may lie in wait for those who enter this world.
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Copyright © James Jani 2020
Prologue - 00:00
Part 1: Where it Begins - 02:13
Part 2: Addiction - 04:26
Part 3: The Sinister Business of Selling Hope - 07:39
Part 4: Toxic Positivity - 10:41
Part 5: Hustle Culture - 13:30
Conclusion - 16:36
IMPORTANT CLARIFICATION/CORRECTIONS: I want to preface this by saying that I don’t think the entirety of the self-help industry is bad - and as some of you have rightly pointed out, not all the fault should be given to the industry itself, consumers of the industry need to take accountability for their actions as well. Self-help has benefited me greatly, but only when I approached it from a place of not using self-help as a “quick fix” for motivation and happiness -this video was intended to look at various traps that people can fall into if they use this industry in the wrong way, which I had been doing previously. I realise now that there must be a BALANCE - both your consumption and action must have a symbiotic relationship, and a combination of both can make self-help something that could prove to be genuinely useful. So with that in mind, see this video as a look into the aspects of self-help that have been taken and misused by both the producers and the consumers of the industry, but not a hit piece on the self-help industry as a whole. Hope this clarifies things! 🙏 Edit #1: Also, when I say “my first year in college” in this video I am referring to sixth form (US equivalent of grades 11/12) - we sometimes call this “college” in the UK. Edit #2: I was harsh when including clips of Gary Vaynerchuk in this video! - Although I didn't mention him by name specifically, I did imply that he was somehow a negative influence of the "self-help" community. Gary V is actually very outspoken against certain aspects of the self-help industry that I've referenced to in this video, and he is a legitimate entrepreneur who profits mostly from his media company, not from self-help. By no stretch of the imagination should he be pegged in the same category as "guru's" like Grant Cardone - this was definitely a mistake on my part. Edit #3: I recommended Echarte Tolle's "The Power of Now" book at the end of this video. I want to emphasise that whilst I enjoy this book for its philosophy on mindfulness, and bringing awareness to your thoughts, I do belive that are many elements of the book that are "woo-woo" and pseudoscience. Bare that in mind if you ever purchase his book.
Gotta say that is kind of... A self consumption problem. Of course there s people selling self help. There's always someone who is going to benefit from everything (fitness, education, love, travel, art, food, etc). Is more about how you deal with that. Think that for example about Garyvee. The guy says literally that if you're happy, don't hustle, and that if you hustle is the wrong thing, you're not going to be successful, etc. The problem is that nobody teaches us how to consume that kind of content or how to deal with that. Of course there are bad ones, but IMO is about one self.
But, gotta say it's a great video. I know a lot of people who would find it helpful. Keep going, great work! (The internet guru video was also fine AF)
"both your consumption and action must have a symbiotic relationship, and a combination of both can make self-help something that could prove to be genuinely useful." - this I agree with 100%
Can you plz do one on 'law of attraction' ? That would be crazzyy lol
It’s in the ideas book 😉
My father always says “If working hard was to make anyone rich, construction workers would be the richest men in the world” Edit: You really think the world consists of the 1st world country where you lay your comfortable asses at? People working at construction are suffering all around the world, stop saying “they make good money” etc. They work under minimum wage and even worse, there is still slavery in the world, did you know that?
Holy shit I love that
Bahar Dan "Hard work alone doesn't protect your downside" Work smart, not hard. Being able to out hustle your rivals and life comes with being able to navigate yourself into certain positions.
Amazing I always tell my friends same
Wow
WOW THAT IS A POWERFUL STATEMENT !!!!!!
“A patient healed is a customer lost.” This is the mindset of the self care industry.
can u explain the mindset?
@@yasminas.3562 Yeah! Self help companies don’t actually want you to get better and improve. Because if you do, you wont need their products (books, kits, seminars, podcasts, classes, etc). And If you don’t need these products, then you wont spend time/money on them. Therefore you are no longer a source of profit for the industry. So the saying goes “A Patient healed is a customer lost.” Because if you(the “patient”) is improving(“healed”) in your behaviors and life, then you no longer need to spend money on self help products (“a customer lost”) I hope I explained it ok!
Just stab them then they'll be in the hospital longer
@@inkdragon3455 I understand, thanks!
@@inkdragon3455 hmmm seems similar to harmful beauty products that make your symptoms worse or do literally nothing, causing you to buy even more products and try many different ones. also, placebo effect. especially when the people advertising and praising them, do not have a single mark in their face, no scars and look like a perfect doll. in reality though, its make up, photo manipulation afterwards and a mass of camera equipment (and surgery on top of it.. lol)
the self-help industry has led me to the point where i thought relaxing and having time for yourself is procrastination. i always felt so guilty for not doing something "productive" even tho i have been sudying most of the time. i have also started to have symptoms of neurosis. thank you self-help industry :)
How are you relaxing and having time for yourself?
You have to know the difference of relaxing and wasting time. I used to spent whole days watching mindless tv, while knowing i need to move towards my goals.
You sound like you watch 15 hours of TV and complain about not making progress in life.
I've been there fuck every content and don't get to much influence of anything and everything is about balance and they all say go all in and it doesn't work that way i learned it hard way
@@sarvnn yeah I tried to go all in a couple of times and it never worked for me, after a couple of days I start crumbling
The problem we have is because Most people always taught that " you only need a good job to become rich " . These billionaires are operating on a whole other playbook that many don't even know exists.
Money invested is far better than money saved , when you invest it gives you the opportunity to increase your financial worth.
" It is remarkable how much long term advantage people like us have gotten by trying to be consistently not stupid , instead of trying to be very intelligent."
The wisest thing that should be on everyone mind currently should be to invest in different streams of income that doesn't depend on government paycheck, especially with the current economic crisis around the world. This is still a time to invest in Stocks, Forex and Digital currencies.
I also keep seeing lot's of people testifying about how they make money investing in Stock, Forex and Crypto Trade(Bitcoin) and I wonder why I keep loosing. Can anyone help me out or at least advice me on what to do.
Even with the right technique and assets some investors would still make more than others. As an investor, you should've known that by now that nothing beats experience and that's final. Personally I had to reach out to a stock expert for guidance which is how I was able to grow my account close to $35k, withdraw my profit right before the correction and now I'm buying again.
Toxic positivity is a huge one that in culture globally, people have now ended up shaming others for being *real* rather than _“positive”_ .
I think progressive politics has a lot to do with that too. Positivity is becoming like the new religion.
My career just derailed because I took a job in one of these environments. If you want to read psychologists take on it, the term they use is blind optimism
@poor man's rose Toxic positivity is much more specific to me. The term really only can concievably apply to the context of this video in my mind (motivation and life decisions), as well as maybe a little to do with political decision making. "How are you" is just small talk to me
Now I know why I didn't like it when someone compliment me because I know the truth is I'm not really good at 'this'. She always said this is 'good'. Sometimes I need a criticism not a compliment. The old me traps in this toxic positivity and made me no progress.
I always see these people who keep posting positivity on their social medias are toxic people
*Reading self-help books can be in itself a form of procrastination.*
My exact thoughts after a few years of reading book after book - not taking action.
Definitelly.
Like watching a promenade of celebrities walking the red carpet....in dresses made by someone else., and never knowing the names of the designers.....Self-help books are the same, they put together info created by someone else, but spelled in a different way.
Yeeep
So true bro so many people think they are getting ahead with this “success culture” but in fact they cannot take any action whatsoever. People are great at hiding behind this culture on the media smh
Life is so much better when your parents teach you early on how to detect BS before you’re standing in it. Mom, Dad-for the millionth time-thank you.
I was lucky in that aspect
Exactly. :)
Yep!
True !!
I wish I was
After consuming 3 years of self improvement I got understanding of this: i don't need 100 gurus, i need 1 guru, i don't need 100 books, i need 1 book, i have to take 100 actions, from that 1 book.
Yes. Same here! BUT to get to this very easy and seems to be simple understanding buddy, you needed to read those books and you needed to hear out the 100 gurus... that is why people do not get
The Bible😁
@@rockmanalathe bible seems more about guilt tripping and worshipping, rather than personal development.
After reading about a dozen self-help books you'll start to realize that they all pretty much consist of the same content.
I'm reading "The Body Keeps the Score" and "Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience" simultaneously right now, i.e. interleaving chapters from the different books, (also previewed "Healing The Shame That Binds You" as well as "The H-Factor of Personality") and they are each all quite different and very good in their own way. Maybe what a person need to do is be given a good reading list covering a breadth of subjects (and the suggested books being well-acclaimed, and best in their subjects), rather than relying on the Amazon recommendation algorithm (cause that is just going to recommend more of the same content, and those books may be sub-par). The Amazon ratings system can also be subjected to being gamed (or represent some sort of bias), so people relying on sheer number of reviews and number of stars should consider that those metrics alone may be misleading.
And you’ll also realize you already had the answers in your head
Yeah. You don't need magic to see what's wrong in your life and how to improve... Most of these books cover things very shallow instead of adopting psychology etc..
I'd say read David Goggins book
I call it wantrepreneurship. People who want to read about things instead of doing them. I only needed 1 book: Rich Dad Poor Dad. Everything from that point was just trial and error and getting my hands dirty. You get rich by doing things. Spend as little as you can and generate as much as you can. And when you have a nice little USD hoard, convert it into real estate, precious metals and ammo-- things that keep their value. Then keep it going: more income than expenditure. Just plus and minus. It takes years, goals, a vision, strategic prowess, dedication, adaptability and grit. And, tbh, many people will never be able to do what I did. I've had to accept that not everyone is smart, imaginative, driven or strong-willed. If anyone was ever gullible enough to become a wantrepreneur, they very likely don't have what it takes to run a profitable business.
"If you want self help why would you read a book written by somebody else? That's not self help, that's help." Thanks George.
@maliziza1 r u questioning the great, late, George Carlin?!
@maliziza1 Unfortunately, you're response is invalid. Please try again.
@maliziza1 I am**
You can learn something from this books, as the all have same core - you just have to filter out the bullshit usally the takeaways are: * Sleep long enough * Eat healthy * Lift weights * Define your goals and work on them and that's it. If you do this things you will be way better off than before, but you have to act on it.
@maliziza1 Self help is when YOU change your lifestyle to help yourself. Taking advice from someone else is just plain old help.
this comment section is more valuable than any self help book.
Yes, so pay me $80 for the service. It's a bargain honestly.
"Say no to Motion and say yes to Action." Indeed, I've heard this from other mentors as well. We can do things that feels like a progress but it wasn't. Like reading books, listening to podcast, watching educational videos is also a form of procrastination, because instead of putting your knowledge into action you get stuck doing these stuff. Very DANGEROUS and not everyone is aware of this.
Well said!!
Thank you!@@mepikapika
Nothing wrong with procrastinating it is fucking human. STFU and stop thinking you know fuck all about other humans
The biggest issue with self-help is it tend to make people believe they have issues that they really don't have.
Well said
👍👍👍👌👌
On point.
Couldn’t agree more. Such a great point. After several years dominated by self help im just starting to realise this
That is also my conclusion.
Advice from my father: "How you get good at something isn't what you do when you're motivated, it's how you persevere when you aren't."
Give our regards to your father hats off for respect
This. Grit is what gets you through the hardships and allows you to succeed.
damn, are you winning tho?
A bow of respect for him
That's actually a really good piece of self help advice.
It took me being hospitalized, diagnosed Lyme disease, and shutting down the doors to my business to realize that I had been ignoring the "negative thoughts" and just needed to think more positively. In reality I was deeply trying to communicate with myself that I was unbearably unhappy doing what I was doing. I worked myself right into the ground at 29 and nearly lost everything. I think one of the main reasons that my body became susceptible to sickness is that I had drained the life out of it and was physically and emotionally exhausted. 18 months later and I'm still learning this difficult lesson. Self help obfuscates the work that needs to be done internally and makes it feel like you are doing inner work. That you are changing. You are not changing you are just becoming someone that you will recognize less and less.
This really resonates with me! Thank you for sharing!
Good luck man
If you can't function--then it can't work. What about the other facets of your life? I guess that you must manage those together.
lyme disease ?
It’s also occurred to me that the self help industry preys on people who don’t love or believe in themselves. They are trying to provide results and answers which an individual can only find in themselves. In other words, no one else can live your life for you. No one else outside you knows your needs or can fulfill them. Each persons truth comes from their own heart which cant be replaced by advice or instructions from anyone else. Intuition is free of charge✨💛💯💯
On the path of self discovery one can be lead by others, but ultimately you need to travel a great distance by yourself.
But there are lots of self help books about self love. It's just a question of getting the right book or content! Maybe more of the wrong items are addressed at men and the good stuff is addressed at women.
Some people need a "catalyst": That did work for me. People differ.
My grandpa told me one thing that sticks with me to this day: "Always chase that next horizon, but don't stare directly into the sun." This means that, while you should strive for self improvement, do not lose yourself doing so. Stay true to who you are, even if everyone doesn't like you for it.
Is that a quote from a book your granpa read or something? Because it's really good
your grandpa coined it so you can tag his name after the quote lul
your grandpa is a smart man
I would have guessed it meant «do step by step and not getting caught up in only looking at the end goal» Great saying!
But being a modern day diogenes will get you arrested for some reason and then institutionalized
The “working hard” message has become one of the most toxic for me. Because if you do something and it doesn’t work, it’s clearly not because it just doesn’t work for you, it means you just don’t work hard enough. Eventually you start to question your worth and it can go to a very unhealthy spiral. Realizing that I just need to figure out how things work for me has become one of the most important things in my life so far.
Not only is it bad for what you have mentioned. But working 80-hour weeks takes you away from the most important people in your life, your family and friends. It's a really horrible message that is being spread.
work hard on your mind and body (good nutrition and regular exercise), and I guarantee you won't "question your worth and...go into a very unhealthy spiral". the idea that material things can bring us happiness ahead of our own physical and mental health shows how messed up people's worlds can become.
Somehow I never bought into this idea from self-help books or motivational speakers or even school or general culture... but when it came up directly from family, friends, and church, that's where it got into me, and to this day I still struggle with overworking myself. I think the worst part is that I don't approach it with the belief that only hard work will earn money, but the guilt that I would feel for working less than other people do - if other people work 50 hours a week to get their money, what right do I have to work less than that for myself? I prefer the "work smarter, not harder" approach, but then at some point I start blurring the lines between that and laziness and end up pushing myself into burnout. -.-
I also have multiple chronic illnesses and chronic fatigue, so fill in the blanks there. :P
@@starrystarrynight52 I do agree that you need to work hard all the time if you want to achieve things. I don't agree with the gurus' regard what kind of work you're doing. You have to actively work to be the best family and friend. Working 80 hours a week for money does not equate to being a better person is what pisses me off about the gurus.
"If truth Kills them ,let them die" Thank you Sir for this enlightenting video
I remember someone calling self help "motivation porn".
It's so comforting to see finally people have started talking about this toxic hustle culture, fake motivation, worthless motivational gurus, false self help & all.
those people are there to sell book and made you to had gym membership and end up with student loan and made your head ful with shit.while sometime it is better just doing nothing and be happy since we all died at the end... look at 1 million death people form cov19... those people dont expect to died but they did...
yeah it is super rare to have someone pointed out this fake motivational scheme (except David Goggins) and fake hustle culture b.s I know deep down there was not something quite right about it before.
Now, all those called “gurus” will start saying this and this will again hook us.. I dont see anything wrong if someone tells you the truth whether he is self-help guru or not. As this video stated this is becoming addiction. Like everything else in life too much of it is not good
Make no mistake about it. This is all fueled by stupidity
Not sure what fake motivation means ...if you have a guy telling you to get up off your ass and it motivates you to do so then it's serves it's purpose ...sometimes that's all people need is a little nudge...i love those motivational videos here o. KZhead telling me I'm a beast . Telling me the world is mine for the taking...It really does motivate you to have a go at it and we all know you can't succeed until you try but you can fail by not trying at all
"Sleeping eight hours a day? that's a third of your life!" Yes, but it's the best third dude!
😂😂👌
fuck yeah it is.
I like the cuddling with the puppers and falling asleep part best. Dreams are wierd, just sayin.
@Dududu also you can easily gain weight if you have a sleeping problem which i am battling
@Dududu Jame Jani was up from 3am editing for the last 5 days (according to his Instagram story) in order to produce his next masterpiece. And looking at his work I can see that boy grinds. Now he's 20 years old with no wife and kids but still working through the night. Throw in a woman and 2 kids and you will have to cut down some sleep time to grind to success. Now do you think you can sleep your way to success?
Thank you for exposing the world that we live in today. From your video, I've found words to express myself and thank you for bringing in the the new term ''toxic positivity'' we need to speak on that more.
OH MY GOD, THE TRAPS YOU MENTIONED WERE EXACTLY THE ONE I WAS GOING THROUGH IN MY LIFE. This Video has CHANGED ME. Thank you for saving me and many years of my future! 😊
"Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner." - Lao Tzu.
@AP.17 from a certain point of view
@AP.17 I'd say it's a spectrum. Most things in life are on a spectrum, and it applies to this as well.
As a matter of fact, I learned not to care a fuck about what other people thought after finishing college.
Okay what about never care about what people say. Now your on a road to homelessness, inceldom, and being unhealthy.
Ya psychopaths and serial killers don't care what other people think either. Or do they?
You know what's better than reading self help books? Reading things you actually genuinely like. Edit: I see this has become a controversial take
Simple but so right
Yes!!
Words to the wise
best self-development books are classics. they teach you morale, history, language.
People have been so programmed by society, most people don't really know what they truly like to read.
Great video…I can relate a lot and when I gave up “self improvement” after ten years of “hustle” attempting to get rich and winding up with burnout and nearly coming close to a heart attack, I’ve never felt better about my life.
For being a young person you seem to be "awake!" Not necessarily pessimistic but more a realist. Lots of wisdom. I'm proud of you.
This video of self help being anti self help is actually self help too
Lmaoo
HMMM
Exactly 😊 Blame no one. Be accountable for all our actions.
Ironic
I beg to differ that this is self help video in disguise because this is the truth and someone has got to tell this. He has simply attempted to show the real nature of the self help 'sector'.
My father once said something to me that I think was the single most valuable piece of advice I have ever been given. We where moving, my dad had a MBA and he had a ton of books he would read back during his MBA degree (Rich Dad Poor Dad, A random walk down wallstreet, Only the paranoid survive, etc, and a bunch of case studys) I remember him not allowing those books to be brought to my new house after I requested them. As for why, he said to me, and I will always remember this moment "Joey, you are young. Looking back all these years, these books have done nothing but killed my creativity, it gives you a mindset, it gives you a frame of doing something, it makes you think there is no other way to achieve something, it keeps you thinking inside the box. The more you read these self help books, the more you feel the need for knowledge, the constant thought that you dont know something, and that by the grace of god, knowing it will change your life. Thats wrong, you already know everything you need, you learn by doing, not using that same time and hunching over some book. Sure some of these books are good for you (Rich Dad Poor Dad) they help change your mindset, but too much of anything is not good, and in the case of self help books, its exactly the case.
This is some very solid advice here. I appreciate you sharing
So your dad wants you to spend years making the mistakes that people spent 10k years learning how not to make and writing them down. Bumbling through life without a mindset is not honorable, it’s naïveté
@@TexboyGamer flew right over your head "I'm sure glad I'm a dense idiot or else I would have understood the point"
@@vexial97 explain the point then
@@TexboyGamer I'm just as much as a dense idiot as you. Let's figure it out together
Strange how many books we are ready to read about self improving, but very few (if any) how science work or (and) how to do real staff around the house (changing sockets, fixing plumbing etc). The worst thing these self improving gurus steal from a person is time; time wasted which cannot be purchased back.
Thank you, that's all I can say. Thank you so much. I've been there, and you put it in words that I struggled to find. I encourage you to keep doing what you're doing!
The "Toxic Positivity" and "Hustle Culture" segments describe about 98% of social media posts nowadays.
😂 everybody’s winning ig 🚶🏽 nawww they the 🐇 im the 🐢 i will prevail
Especially on instagram. Work hard, work hard, work hard, on what??? Man, this video is a blast
I have come here ,after a financial page wrote about this industry and in the comments , someone write about this video on you tube
@I Coroa saying everything but not telling anything at all
Ikr i hate seeing ladies saying woman empowerment woo woo then you will see them judging other lady on what her skin is and body. Im sick of that kind of posts even the celeb in my country doing this thats why its so hard to not get heard of it
Whenever I felt unmotivated I used to watch these motivational videos on KZhead where they say “you gotta be the hardest working person in the room and if you aren’t, someone else will be” and I felt really motivated…for like 15 minutes and in those 15 minutes all I did was make a schedule. The rest of the day I daydreamed about how great my life would be if I become the hardest working person in the room. That’s it. Nothing really happened. I was back at procrastinating the next day, now with a crippling sense of incompetence.
I hope this vid helped you now
@Sudeshna Discipline.Taking Action is the solution.But here you're consuming things again.
There's no point on doing self development if you didn't take actions, even if its a bit. The reason we read a book is to get a good points from it and use it for our life. Its useless if we didnt take actions for what we have learned! You can start doing something by using the 20 second rule. For example, you want to exercise in the morning but you are very lazy, even though the weather is great. What you need to do now is tell your body to do the thing only for 20 second, and then you can relax if you want. Start by wearing shoes, open the door, get out and close the door. You can open the door back if you dont want to. "but it is worth it? I already put on my shoes and the weather is great! I should just go and walk a bit..." Once you did something that push you towards the action you wanted to do although you totally dont want to do them, you will eventually do the action and somehow motivated to do them. Hope this helps :)
@@user-gb9px4bu8f thank you!
Your comment has no point. They are not wrong telling you what to do if you're unable to do it it's your fault
I see I’m a little late to the party given that this was made two years ago, but, thank you for making this video exposing the truth about the self-help industry. 🙏 I’ve gotten caught up in it too, and had pretty much the same experience, and I’m glad to find out that I’m not the only one,that I’m not crazy, just a normal person trying to navigate this thing we call life.
Thank you James! I was also trapped in this loop of being a mindless consumer of the self help industry. I am now taking the time to do the work from all the collective information I gained.
“If you’re looking for self-help, why would you read a book written by someone else?” -George Carlin
It's a bit of an oxymoron 🤔
Wow that’s kinda genius lol, never thought of that
"That's not self-help...that's *help*."
else-help
damn sheesh
Getting enough sleep is way more important than "hustling".
Not really, i would rather get less sleep and be wealthy then sleep a ton and be a bum
Sleep is actually so important for overall health and mental function..if you would rather trade your health & time for money, go for it..I choose my internal peace and wellbeing..this allows me to function better, therefore, I'm more productive when it counts and am able to make money easily. 🦋🌼
It's a balance lol. It dosnt have to be one or the other. Make time to hustle and time to sleep. Pretty rigid circumstance you makin there
I never said don't work..I said sleep is more important than the constant "hustle"..you can't work efficiently without sleep!! 🙄 disagree with me if you want doesn't concern me.
"rigid circumstance"? All I'm saying is get at least 8 hours of sleep. Science proves this to be healing and necessary for the body.
I would like to say thank you for this video. It has brought awareness to how much I consume and not enough action. All the while thinking I'm being productive with my time. But not actually achieving anything. Also I felt really happy for you at the end of the video because although you didn't pursue acting your now doing this and I think your really good at it. Good for you well done 👏🙂
I am from a developing country so very new to many of the ideas of self help. I was wondering about the new hype taking over me as I got exposed to the world of self help. I felt the sense of losing control unaware of the other side of the subject. Thank you for the enlightenment!
I am 32 years old. I've been trying to reach my "perfect" self by reaching mental, physical and spiritual "perfection" for the last ten years. It has consumed almost every aspect of my life and has left me feeling worthless most of the time. Last night, I had a mental breakdown because the stress of trying to eat perfectly, work out every day for two hours, read a book, "grind" for money at work, and try to be a perfect christian finally broke me. I've decided to take a step back and let go of this poisonous mindset that is killing me. I want to enjoy my life without feeling guilty anymore. I want to sit down and play Fallout New Vegas for a week and not beat myself up because I'm not "grinding." I'm done with this. I'll never reach perfection or that balance I want in life. And from what I've seen, no one else does either. We're all human and we all have flaws.
Trying to be better and HEALING is better than trying to be perfect
Progress > Perfection 😌
We will never be nor could ever achieve perfection in any part of our lives. Sounds like you discovered that in doing so more stress and disappointment in ourselves is created than what we are seeking. Interestingly God set it up that we find most joy and satisfaction focusing on and helping others than ourselves. Even in doing this our focus can shift back on the wrong thing to being perfect in helping others. Only Jesus is perfect. When you get a lot older like me you’ll learn to embrace the imperfections in ourselves and others (or maybe you’re learning this early!). This is why He told us in our weakness He is strong - we don’t have to be the ones who are strong all the time (what a relief!). And He has never expected you to be perfect in life or as a Christian. Otherwise we wouldn’t need Him and the gospel is useless. That’s one thing the world gets so wrong - Christians are not called to be perfect and God doesn’t expect it, which is why we’re in a constant state of needing Him, even in the good times and not just the bad. Boy I wish I had learned all of this at your age!!! Bless you in your journey - because this is a journey not a destination.
@@meggreen442 God bless you and thank you for your kind words, they are like a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and health to the bones.
@@FallouFitness_NattyEdition God bless you too!
The worst thing about self help guidance is that there is no tangible product at the end. If you say to a 'guru' 'that didn't work for me', they will just tell you that you didn't work hard enough
So is the Law of Attraction
Yes. This is one of the shaming and blaming tactics overly utilized that keeps one thinking they are the problem and therefore unable to see that the system that delivers that kind of narrative is meant to keep you ensnared in its endless looping of self-denial and self deprecation. That's the real shame right there!
I was once told to quit my lazy negative thinking and work harder and I finally told them, THEY were the problem there
Like religion. Not terribly different.
@@joeanthony7759 just pray to god harder
I appreciate this video because it shows the other side of the self help world and deep down we know that this theory's are true. Balance and not getting blind by one type of thinking is important.
Painfully relatable. Going through a self help detox and really appreciate this video. ❤
People who actually work hard don’t have time to tell everyone how hard they’re working.
Atfu
@@thoughtgains6959 spell it right poopie
But Elon Musk said it in-the-video
@@armandocastro6914You probably worship Elon Musk for no reason. Open your eyes. He is just a business man and nothing else. The real work is being done by other people.
I had nothing to talk about because I'm still a failure lol.
i wish more people said “hard work is important for success” rather than “hard work is KEY to success”
Through many experiences I can say hard work is not at all important for success. If that were true I would have completely failed everything in school. xl
@@l_m_a_o_ how far did you make it in school ? also if you like school topics and like to learn in general you may not realise you're "working" in some way because it's fun
There's a saying here that roughly translates to "work makes a man shine" (as opposed to laziness). I dislike that statement. Results make a man shine. Anyone is capable of working, that does not mean that you're doing anything worthwhile. Work is the unfortunate side effect of getting results and should me minimised.
@@LessSuspect Couldn't aggree more, but these "gurus" suggest that if you not work 100+ hours/week you are norhing and will achieve nothing.
I am a minor in the IB diploma program at my school and let me tell you that HL English and the IAs are not fun I don't like learning unless it's music theory (´-﹏-`；) School basically just teaches you how to suck up to people and make crap look good as if it deserves an award I'm still surprised I was chosen to get the scholarship I wanted I mean sure you have to work but not hard you have to work fast and efficient at the highest quality humanly possible cramming everything into a 24hr day including work I'm that student who hates work (but you have to do it) and knows how toxic some of the "good kids" in the leadership and student council actually are for some people life can be pretty hard there are times when people retake courses in summer because they ONLY got a %96.2 I still haven't fixed my habit of procrastinating . . .
Absolutely agree, both new age industry and self improvement industry are pretty much scam based. You cannot proove right or wrong on energy healing or self improvement. In both cases it's power of suggestion that you buy not the result you hope for.
Self improvement is real, cope harder with your miserable life. You can literally see it as the more the times goes, but I don't expect some loser to go through it fully.
Thank you for making this, I hope it reaches as many people that need to hear it as possible ❤️
“ I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.” - George Carlin
😂😂
@@miriamllamas224 At first, I thought, why is she laughing emoji?? However, now I laff as I find it funny. As much as their comment is meaningful, it also sounds like a joke. Hehe
Haha crazy.
😂😂😂
I see what you did there, lol
As Ram Dass said: "when you get the message, just hang up the phone". Endlessly consuming advice is the most vicious form of procrastination.
That was Alan Watts, not Ram Dass, and he was talking about psychedelics
I think that quote refers to drugs but it does apply the same to useful info online too
@@patrickzingler4372 who? I thought it was from Timothy Leary lmao
Yes it was Timothy Leary
Affirmations can actually lead to promising results
This year is when I realized that nothing has changed. Also, you are my favorite KZheadr. This video was me. my gosh. Waking up at 2am. Running on 4 hours of sleep. Because I am creating a better version of myself. I isolated myself from 'losers', read a shit ton of books, personal development videos, working out, eating right, living on a schedule. Man it makes no sense me saying it all because you laid it all out in this video. Just like your LOA videos, its me. You are quality over quantity. I even quit my job back in 2019, to "be my own boss" following many of this self help bullshit. The second worst decision ever. I am so happy I finally caught sense. It may take me awhile to build up a momentum. But now I have the sense to leave these things behind and start my life a new, from scratch. My LOA/spiritual/metaphysical/pseudoscience journey lasted from 2009 - June 2023, 14 painful disappointing, heartbreaking, failure years. My self help journey lasted from 2017-2022, 5 years of burn out, being busy but achieving nothing. I also use to think what hard work(80+ hours) is Elon Musk talking about when he has a team/staff/employees working for him. Grant Cardone, Dan Lok, Dan Pena, Gary Vee, Tony Robbins. It was always something about these guys that seemed off to me. I saw them more as marketers than people who actually wanted to help. I was watching a Dan Pena seminar on YT a few years ago when he dropped the bomb that Napoleon Hill was a con man and failed businessman. Fact check and it was true. The only person I turn on from time to time and listen to is David Goggins... but I dont get caught up in following him or anyone else anymore. To conclude, thank you for another amazing video. There is nothing like personal experience.
I hope that you've been doing a lot better ever since you came to that realization man, I'm sure that life ahead of you will be filled with good fortunes and happier moments :) Good luck in everything that you do and/or will be doing in life !
@070erwin Thank you. It has gotten a lot better since writing this post. All the best to you 🙂
I feel like what sets Goggins from the rest is that you can be 100% certain that he practices what he preaches lol. He's a useful ideal to keep in mind, whenever I feel like giving up.
Power of Now is an amazing book! One of my favorites. Most people tend to suggest things like "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" which I feel like is just a piece of sales material. It has a lot of good concepts, but the overall intention is not to help, but to addict the reader to the consumption of self help.
The irony is that by watching this video I also felt like I've accomplished something.
I mean it depends on how you take it, you could either learn from it, or pretend that not trusting guru's is a viable option.
it technically is because we have learnt something new
@@supa7853 How is trusting guru's ever a viable option?
👍He’s offering “self help”. 💝
same
Self Help: Work 90 hour weeks, work from 7pm - 2am on a side gig Also Self Help: 8-9 hours sleep is key to productivity
Actually it's more like this: "Value your time, don't waste it. Be Productive, don't just get to know the advice and think you accomplished something, you need to actually get up and get moving"
I pick choice 2
Actually yes, for example, I learnt prgramming and investing but you have to be fresh to make both, so I always take care to sleep enough. You just have to make realistic goals, that it takes time to reach them. I advanced my carrer a little bit, but since I know my long term goal, I worry less and take also more time for family, friends and sports. Unfortunately the harder you try, the less it will work, so yeah, enjoy more your time
Really well made video, hearing u hit some of those points really made me feel less alone with some stuff that’s been on my mind today. Godspeed to u and what ever is next for u brother❤
The way u make ur videos really gives me goosebumps. Keep going man, i feel like since watching ur videos for the last week. I’ve learned more than the last year. Love from The Netherlands!🇳🇱
there is a huge difference between self-help and self-discovery. The first pushes you to compare yourself to others, while the second makes you embrace your uniqueness and your "imperfections"
💯💯
smells like a cope
Exactly!
Very well said 🙏
Exactly. Self-help videos are there to motivate you and it depends on you to really help yourself. If you don't do productive things after being motivated then you're not really helping yourself. If you really do want to help yourself, you can without any self help stuff or maybe what you thought was "enough is enough" maybe wasnt just "enough" to make you change or do something about your life.
That is why minimalism and stoicism saved my life.
Peep taoism, stoicism might prove to be a roadblock later. Minimalism is the tits, though.
Brian Randall why Taoism, all I’ve learned is the belief that people can become dieties through ritual
@@skojoy7074 i dont know anything about that deities stuff, but Taoism is a great path to acceptance of the world around you. Which in turn helps you to feel better about anything and everything. But hey, the Tao that can be spoken is not the true Tao (ch.1, tao te ching), so go figure it out yourself. :)
@@brianrandall3795 Wait, im confused. How can stoicism be a roadblock when it's literally about accepting roadblocks
@@ethanol8312 There's a lot more to it than that. A perfect stoic doesn't feel like a normal person. Because they have accepted everything in sich a light, they tend to become apathetic and lose relations with those close to them. They won't feel sad about the ordeal, but just sort of exist within it. Stoicism gets dangerous, so use it in moderation.
Brother James - you are the man. Thank you for making this one. My wife of 20yrs had recently left us (&3 daughters) for this same fakery - and it's heartbreaking. There are true dangers and life destroying consequences from these people and their BS. We are fine now and seem to move with what has happened. However please people watching take note and knowledge up. Our lesson is yours to learn.
Self-help has led me to some pretty healthy habits i wouldnt have picked up otherwise. All my parents could give me is, " just pray about it" . Self-help led me to therapy. The worst of self-help is " the reason you're poot is because you're lazy", or simply, "dont sleep".
I feel that. My parents were the same way
Not true, otherwise you wouldn't be alive today, your parents would have lost custody of you
So true. Ironically if you don't get enough sleep it increases stress. Stress often hampers performance and motivation so really the advice should be to get a good 8 hours sleep because then you can think straight and are likely to be in a better mood to accomplish things.
My hotdog once told me: "The moment you decide to eat me, is the moment you lose me forever." It hasn't left my table since.
Very deep dude
💯💯
Hotdog was talking to you?! Are you ok dude?
I hope your hotdog is still doing well and not rotten nor mouldy.
Get another one.
The product that this industry produces is what I like to call "Inspiration Porn."
I have read an article months back in Medium titled "No more struggle porn" by Nat Eliason, it is a good read
Yup, I think the stuff you see posted in social media can fall under that name too
Oh, now that's a fun :)
Scarily accurate.
@@pipilchocolate8654 Yup.
I dont even need to finish the video to hit Like!! this topic was dancing on my head for the last 10 years, thank you so much for putting all that thoughts in a way i couldnt even explain it to my self
Even though I have recently been obsessed and hooked with your videos I still think your work is a version of self help per se.
Self Made man is a myth of our century, an illusion that feeds egocentrism and solitude. We must learn how to live with others and share, instead becoming lonely super burned out individuals.
Yes, I think take care of yourself is important and interact with other people too.
since the 1700 with robinson crusoe and similar things is portrayed the mith about the self made man, i think it's more a thing that human dream of
@@edgarego5813 For sure the Enlightenment has been great trigger.
Spot on. Each day when I wake up, I experience a small doze of existential crisis, then the fear of missing-out and lastly that the universe owns me (you fill the blank).
"Self Made man is a myth" Yes. Check out the documentary "The Lottery of Birth". When I hear "Nobody gave me nothing. I had to work for what I got, " I say, "Uh-huh, you decided to be born into the middle class in the richest country in the world, with no birth defects, etc."
Thank you for putting words to something I've always felt, but never known how to articulate. This was brilliant.
Yes, what he said
Words 👍
true..
Great Stuff!
You must be an introvert.. lol. Kidding! I agree!!
This is a really great video! Extremely relatable and a message that needs to be heard. Good job
Thank you for making these videos and allowing people to watch them, to the end, for free.
I never understood the “don’t sleep 8 hours a day it’s too much” hustle mentality. You need at LEAST 8 hours of sleep to stay healthy and keep your mind sharp. Especially when you are a teen going into your 20s
I'm sick of the attitude that you have to get up at 5am to get things done. If you did that you would have to be in bed by 9pm. It's about working smarter not harder and for longer.
EXACTLY!! What's the point especially keeping in mind the fact that not getting enough sleep can affect you in so many ways including your productivity.
Yeah I never got it either. Not sleeping enough fucks up your health, and it definitely creeps upon you later on in life
And they told u this CEO Routine and that CEO Routine and how they got wildly successful by waking up at 4.30 AM to get bunch of things done LOL
Not everyone needs 8 hours. Some are fine with 6 or 9. Everyone should sleep what they feel is appropriate to their needs.
13:30 "Rich people don't sleep 8 hours a day!" He's right. They sleep 10 hours.
or more xD
😂😂
Ikr, what the fuck does sleeping less make someone rich?! Last time I did this, I just felt worse than before.
Most of them get a lot but only when they are rich, and it really depends on what their job is. With that being said to get to the place that they are in the process takes so many hours and consumes you to the point where you barely get sleep. But after then they are golden. Usually.
Becoming successful AND enjoying life requires being in a resourceful state. Not getting enough sleep impedes that.
Solid video and great advice, especially about the books to read based on what one is facing and when. Also, strategy and plan of action is key!
Maybe one of the best things i have done to myself lately is watching your videos and understanding what you say because i have been there myself. Keep posting content i am happy to support with whatever i can . Stay safe kid 🙏.
"If you are motivated to go to the store to buy a motivational book, aren't you motivated enough?" - George Carlin
Even if I am motivated enough, I don't have good enough skills, I don't love myself and I'm not confident I can achieve what I desire within a time limit. That's why I'm gonna take a break from school to work on myself without the pressure of grades and deadlines. As soon as I've leveled up, then I'm sure that I will be ready to go back to school.
@@ninevehbarriga1780 good choice
Miss Him So Much
damn i really needed to hear that
I miss his rants!! :D
Spot on. When I saw authors quoting themselves, or starting off with 'I was a loser like you', that when the illusion was broken. The narcissism was sickening.
Vulnerability and authenticity will do it every time. Well done.
… WOW… You are.. absolutely brilliant.. a genius creator really. I’ve been binge watching lots of your videos and I’m just speechless. Keep up the amazing work. Looking forward to notifications of new posts of yours 😊
Everyone's fighting for succes by producing something of value, meanwhile the biggest value in life is freedom and peace it self.
Faaaaaaaax
Who wants to know a real secret to live by FOREVER and FOR FREE? Satisfied people do not scam and cannot be scammed: Truth:
THIS!! It's just so disgusting how we are constantly being told to "work hard for your dreams" to "never give up" on them, to "find a job that you like" so you can be "happy". "Work every waking hour" they say. Because if we aren't working all the time, we are being "unproductive" and "lazy". Every hour spent not working is an hour wasted. Time that you could've spent bettering yourself or "getting closer to that dream of yours". Because we've been convinced that the only way to be successful is to make a lot of money, be famous, etc. When in reality, the success that we've always been looking for has been right inside of us all along. The dreams that we've been chasing and the work we've been constantly doing, have been the distraction all along.
@@jjrhwy3376 haha, yeah I know, the western society is designed as such, everything is build on it, but no one needs to work for more than 4-5 hours a day, you could go anywhere, any community, work that much, and be done with it. people are capable of anything tho, if you need to work 80 hours a work one could, but fuck that, not for me, ye we have a self-proof society, not a self-love society you could say
@@jjrhwy3376 so true. Well put. Success is subjective
"Create more, consume less."
This.
I love it!
hmmm...
When growing up I tried to figure out what the next step is, what are we supposed to do. I figured it's "become a producer more than a consumer", and "get into real estate" :'P
This is THE - PERFECT - VIDEO. Pure Art. Congratulations!🙏
I'm too tired to coherently write about how awesome this video is but i just wanted to say James you have such a fantastic voice, honestly gorgeous
Incredible. The script, music, editing but most importantly the overall message.
I agree, this video is outstanding
I have recreated this type of Documentary but with some changes Please support me to grow. Thank you friends. 👍👍👍
Agreed
@liczba pojedyncza try to listen at 0.75 speed or even 0.50, as I often apply that. also look: Justinian Deception - The Name, as we were made into slaves, the whole world. ppl are busy now liberating themselves from the system, the mail etc. But there are certain law rules we need to know!
The music hurt my ears
"Sleeping eight hours a day? that's a third of your life!" I don't like this simplistic way of looking at things. It is not a third of your life wasted. You are still breathing, still experiencing being a human being. Still dreaming. Sleeping is a sacred time, and it is necessary for your brain, heart, and soul to be firing on all cylinders. But hey, these days many people listen to the hissing noise of the imaginary abyss and are too disoriented to comprehend the sacredness of nature
So much physical and mental repair happens when you sleep. Lose but a couple of days of sleep and you'll soon find your mental faculties diminished and your physical body under stress. Sleep is about the most proactive thing that we do, not the least! A twenty minute power nap after work can restore my tired and anxious mind like no amount of caffeine. Sleep is brilliant! On top of that dreams are awesome... I swear I've had so many adventures in my dreams. I've flown to the stars, danced with the planets and conquered worlds.
completely agree with you. i have fibromyalgia/ME which means that even after 8 hours sleep i would wake up as if i never slept. i also noticed that lack of sleep or quality would trigger anxiety during the day. however, sleep is essential for managing chronic pain. not sure if anti-depressants are considered part of this new wave of organic self help, but since starting them i finally experience REM sleep which never was the case. i dream up until i wake up. sleeping feels like a genuine rest. the idea of resting less than 7/8 hours, as i did before my diagnosis, seems like sabotage. this is coming from a former toxic-perfectionist (which ultimately led to my burn out in the first place).
@@elatrasi2684 My mom also suffers with Fibromyalgia. During a bad flair up no amount of sleep will refresh her. It's a physically and mentally exhausting condition. We should never take good quality sleep for granted, once the ability to sleep well is taken from us it does not take long for the mind and body to suffer.
Alison Of The Shire sending your mom so much strength and well wishes. fibro has completely changed my life (slows and strips you down to the bare basics), and the invisible nature of this disability makes it even more challenging and misunderstood. flare ups can last a while, so it’s important to know the triggers (including lack of quality sleep) and be self forgiving and kind. you and your mom are not alone in this battle. God bless 🖤
Am I correct when I say that the message of this video is: do what works for you and actually do it instead of just consuming information about what you wanna do. And work smart not hard, just because it's works for most people doesn't mean it works for you. In summary: stay on your own path/journey, be patient, wise, strong & natural. Is that correct?
This is the first video of yours I watched, and damn, it got me hooked to your channel. The storytelling, production value; it’s really inspiring.
James, I love your videos. I always look forward to them and i'm going to be honest, I've also been procrastinating to watch this video, and I'm glad I watched it. You are so right about being vulnerable and susceptible to those traps, it's almost like "what you think, you attract, or what you manifest you attract". I was trying to get myself out of the shitty situation and because of desperation, I ended going through the worst phase of my life. I knew that if my head was thinking right, I definitely would've picked out that it was a trap.
"Moderation in everything, even moderation" is my go to statement these days
if you're going to over-indulge in something, make it a healthy, active lifestyle ;)
Balance... as all things should be.
I think one statement that can relate to this strongly is "too much of anything can be bad for you"
So true. People will often give impossible goals to themselves. Please journal before you do. Write down why you want it. You want to earn more? You are struggling to pay rent? Then this is good goal for you. But if you have 20k USD at your bank account, which is growing with every pay check, and you don't know what to buy, more money won't make you more happy. When I got a raise, I was happy for 20 min. Then I decided to buy my friends drinks to celebrate. And that was the best thing about my raise. So yeah, going out with my friends made me more happy than 15% raise. I didn't want to brag about money, I'm not rich by most standards. I wanted to show how you can have goals which aren't important to you. Think about them. Want to read more? Well try to read single book. Don't start some 30 books challenge. Don't buy $200 eink reader. Want to become fit? Try few activities which could help and pick the most fun one. Don't start following fitness blogger, and his (probably fake) routine. Your diet is bad? Try to find one healthy meal, you like (trust me, heathy food can be tasty), and try to eat it once a week. You can add more fruits. You can stop buying soft drinks. Don't become raw food vegan.
@@MrR0FL0LMA0MG So so true and tbh I'm very guilty of this as well. I always used to aim and focus on the end result which made the journey FEEL impossible and extremely overwhelming to the point where i'd constantly procrastinate because I'd expect myself to do a million things in one day and then i'd beat myself up in the end for not getting anything done which is a dangerous game to play... Whilst I believe that the 'Grind' mentality is partially to blame for that way of thinking. I also think people can see in themselves how much potential they truly have and so they get this misguided idea on how this 'potential' should translate into their performance and so they feel like they can take on the world when realistically you have to take on one country at a time before the world is yours.
one of the valuable comment,very well
Can't agree more
@@pain5835 That's pretty common expression used in English. Nitty pitty troll.
3 years and I guess this is so far the one video that I had watched with full concentration and without skipping a moment. You earned a sub here!
It's also the same in spirituality. They make you think you need crystals, Buddha singing bowls, and so on. Spirituality ain't different from self help.
Spirituality helps, but you don't need stuff to use it. Having stuff helps, but you shouldn't feel like you need it. I do agree though that people prey on spiritual people to sell products.
People misinterpreted Buddha's teachings...Buddha had let go of materialism when learning about life,he didn't bring cluttered things when he went in the forest
It's the same trap; letting people tell you how you should think or behave to acheive idealism. I left religion and entered into New Thought Movement through self-help/'Life coaching' and then realized they were the same thing when I started to think critically. Most people are not really interested in making you better but in full filling their life ambitions which includes influence, wealth and a successful priestly career 🙂
Spirituality is totally different. No one can force it on you until you choose deep inside from your soul. And one more thing you need only you for that not anything else.❤
"Absorb what is useful, discard what is not, add what is uniquely your own" - Bruce Lee There's a truth in this video. There's really a scam in the the self-help community. But, I think if you just utilize self-help in moderation and focus on the action then it won't do you no harm. And assess if something suits you, if it's not then don't follow through it. Don't become obsess with "self-help" but with your actual development.
Problem is people don't know how to develop "in a vacuum". To improve, you have to replace bad habits with good habits, and you can't replace something you know with something you don't know (which is the issue with so much personal development stagnation, and repeating of old bad things). If only any big system created a moral guide of figuring all that out...oh...wait...
SovngardeBeckoned that’s why you have to go out and try new things
Well put
Exactly!
Also: "If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you'll never get it done." -Bruce Lee
"Someone is profiting, someone is winning. The question is; who?" Ad: Hey guys, it's Tony Robbins!
I got that same ad 🤣🤣
😂😂
Same lmao
Yup! Golden :D
Talk about irony lol!!
James, great delivery of controversial views on interesting topics. I recon your love for acting that you mention in your videos, is the main driver of your devilry. I find your style original, entertaining and educational all at the same time. The most appealing aspect is the lack of filler in your text, a vast majority of word meant to convey an important piece of the argument. Thank you and please keep it up.
I just subscribed to your channel this channel really opened my eyes to a lot of things in the world especially on the internet. Thank you.
This video called me out way too much😂 when you said “making a studying schedule and calling it a day without actually studying” I felt that
Yessss!
I’m sure a lot of people can relate, I know I did.
Yeaah i do that too haha
cleaning a room and think that’s progress...yup
Yeah what about "it took me a whole year of procrastinating before finally deciding to do it". Hit hard man.
When you need help because you can’t stop helping yourself.
💀
It's a paradox 😂
Lol
Jesus Christ is alive and wants a relationship with you. God sent his only Begotten Son, that whosoever believed in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. Life as a Christian is hard but you will receive Blessings from God that will change your life completely, you will feel at peace in the Lord Presence. The devil will do everything he can to disrupt your peace but he will fail but Jesus is mightier then He is. Please if you haven’t accepted him as your personal Lord and Saviour, I hope you make the right decision for yourself. He died for us on the Cross for our sins so we wouldn’t have to face God’s wrath. He took it all in that Cross. He died for people knowing they might never love him back. He’s real. I and many people have felt his Spirit of love and peace and many have seen dreams of heaven and hell and many people are in hell suffering. People who reject Jesus Christ automatically live for satan and hell for eternity is not a joke. God doesn’t want this on us at all. Don’t be scared, make the right decision and accept Jesus Christ. He doesn’t condemn anyone of their sins, he wants us to repent, meaning confessing our sins to Jesus and to try with everything to turn away from them. Blessings 🙏🏾❤️✝️
LMAO - seriously !!!
your use of movie clips in this video is *chef's kiss* wow... i really enjoyed that visual aspect and making my own little connections while watching about about a topic like this. well done, friend!!!
Give this man an award! He is a beacon in this dark world. Thanks for your knowledge and wisdom!
Nothing wrong with optimism until you become delusional and you begin to lose your self-awareness.
This is true. I experienced this and i realized how bad it was when it hits me in the face hard, it makes you feel worse.
Nothing is wrong with coping / sweet lies? I doubt it
I think people use it more for "somehow" getting through life because they feel so helpless and tried everything what is possible in their mind but didn't found a solution.
Thats why i stay even kill and placid for the most part. Not too high, not too low
best comment
The point is: Life is confusing, there is a lot of suffering, and there will never be anything perfect
You didnt complete it: "... but heck, enjoy it anyway."
Yes ... that’s Buddha’s teaching : life is a suffering journey all along .....
@@faerveran6040 Exactely, trying to understand it will only get you headfucked and ruin the experience :D
@@Maya79800 I noticed, the best thing to do is to practice non-attachement. To the negative and the positive things. I remember a friend telling me on the best feeling he ever had - He popped an E before a going to a football game, and he just wept because he knew he will never experience such a feeling again. On the other hand one could be grateful instead for having been allowed to experience it in the first place.
Al R. - so, stoicism?
Wowowowow brother! This is insane! Such a bright way of thinking and communicating! I dont know you but im proud