Even The Cat Lawyer Would Be A Better Impeachment Advocate Than Bruce Castor
Republicans were harshly critical of the disorganized opening arguments by the former president's impeachment lawyers, making it clear that he could use better representation. #Colbert #ALateShow #Monologue
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.
The way evie laughed at the forgetting to take your kids to school joke says Stephen has definitely done that lmao
That or, she knows it happened to Stephen as a child and his humor is to cope with the traumatic event.
I thought it was Mark the stage director who laughed. And Mark definitely has done that too LOL
And the Burt Reynolds blooper reel during the credits reference was for those of us at a certain age
@@actuallypaulstanley I'm only 34
@@sacrilegiousboi that's a certain age ;)
"I'm here live...but I'm not a cat." *He told us more facts about what we were seeing on the screen than the impeachment lawyer did.*
🤣😂🤣😂
meow
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Don’t be pussyfooting! You are kitty-atty. Brute Catsor!
That happened on Fox news too. The guy was a 🐻.
"I'm not a cat." Seriously?? That is EXACTLY what a cat would say.
I laughed for about 30 seconds. Thanks for that. Nix that. Still laughing. I love cats.
@@sv8911 Omg, I'm still laughing!!! 😂😂
I've only ever know cats to say "meow."
Sounds like you've met some cats. XD
what if there is a secret colony of cat people living on earth and they just revealed themselves by accident??
I can’t stop laughing! “I’m here your honor, I’m prepared to go with it...I’m not a cat” 😅 another thing, how did they maintain composure during all this? I would have busted out laughing!
I agree 100%, My cat Jack was laying on my belly and I bounced him off like he was on a trampoline I was laughing so hard. Jack lookin at me like I’m nuts just made it funnier
@@saltysailor3473 - I am loving this visual!
@Ylul Labart That's why the judge's screen isn't on. He was very amused.
"I'm not a cat" is what a cat posting on zoom would say
It's what an abusive, petty man would say, evidently. (He used cops and DEA to harass his ex for years.)
Clearly he never played Among Us
No one accused him of being a cat. Very suspicious.
"On the internet, nobody knows you're a cat". These times are over!
'...is what a cat _posing_ on zoom would say.' here, fixed it for you^^
Zoom Kitty: Attorney at Paw. Get it done, Netflix.
Guy used the DEA to harass his ex for years by the way. Total garbage human.
@@ulogy I feel better for laughing at him now
@@ulogy how do you know that? He seemed sympathetic enough. Is this proven or just hearsay? This is first time I hear it...
@@ukeyaoitrash2618 Proven, local papers covered it for years. Just look him up, name is Rod Ponton.
@@ukeyaoitrash2618 he is a garbage person, just do a little digging. wont take long.
I just love that the cats facial expression matches the distress in the lawyers voice, just purr-fect.
🤣 So true! The facial expressions are spot on!🤣
This is what Toobin needed. Incidentally it’s funny how Colbert never mentioned Toobin . If that had of been a Fox guy he would have dined out on it for years
"I'm not a cat" will go down as one off the best lines of 2021. And I think it was the judge who posted the video online!
Holy crap that cat lawyer was the funniest thing I’ve seen in months. That revived me.
I don't usually laugh at loud at my computer but I was laughing hard enough I had to explain to my husband what was so funny.
Shame he used the cops and DEA to harass his ex lover for years and no one did anything about it.
"I'm prepared to go forward with it" LUL
Eulogy Who?
@@thechumpsbeendumped.7797 The lawyer with the filter.
*Cat:* I'm not Bruce Castor.
😂🤣🤣
Yes, you are! Your kitty name is Brute Catsor!😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣💥⚰️
😂
Lmao
"Chase Laser" would be a great name for a sci-fi action hero. And he is a cat.
That...would genuinely work.
He should have his own video game!
Sounds legit.
Chase Laser.... The PURRRFECTLY FELINE hero to stop crime..... Right meow!
Cat: "I'm prepared to go forward." Despite the mortifying circumstances, that lawyer had respect for the court and didn't want to waste the time of the judge or opposing counsel.
That video is EVERYTHING especially admist covid and the Capital riots. I watched it 5 times in a row.
They should have gone ahead with him as a cat, that would have been AMAZING!
Except he did waste time by not taking the time to master technology!
I'm not gonna explain why, but the cat lawyer is not a good guy. Every good meme of a real person has a terrible story behind it
@@couchpotato2222 I feel like I know where you are from based on that comment. Go Bucks?
Hello from Holland. The laughter from Stephen's wife is a real tonic.😊
Evelyn's giggles cured my depression.
1:25 :D
Undoubtedly the highlight. Thank you Evelyn
Then you didn’t actually have depression
@@tuhindas8653 it's ok to laugh I need every jewel I can get to brighten my day.
I can say that as a current diagnosee. Not just a friend that heard stories.
I haven't laughed that hard in over a year. Apparently, a kitten with an old man voice is my weakness. The jokes are just making themselves these days, it's incredible.
I must have watched it 30 times now and every time I laugh until I cry
...and the old man voice is willowy and nervous sounding, adding to the verisimilitude. Cutest thing ever. I can see him asking his grandkids how to do this new fangled techy stuff.
@@nightsgrow6575 It must have the same effect on all of us. I even laugh when I just think of it. And the old man's voice from the small mouth!
My Assistant is trying to help me with it but her efforts are being somewhat hampered by the fact she's pissing herself laughing.
"It's a low bar, but right now, it's the only one we've got [raises glass of brandy]" was an excellent pun
Mew give them a chance to filter
Somewhere out there, Donnie just picked up the phone and demanded his legal team "get that cat lawyer... it's just the hook we need!"
lol
Meow Such a catty comment.
trump just wants to grab that kitty.
The GOP are so scared of Rump. They should wear the cat filter so he can grab all them pu**ies by the ball.
To be fair it would be a ratings smash.
"The used POTUS" - That throwaway line killed!
Half the country believes the lawyer is a cat. Aren't we going to look into this? How can we have effective representation when so many questions have yet to be answered?
The judge released the clip and I'm glad he saw reason to make an exception for this.
Stephen Colbert has become part of my daily cycle and I love it.
His crew laughing, giggling and chortling in the background is my daily fix ☺️☺️
It's basically a vlog at this point
Right?
Same here along with kimmel, fallon, and meyer.
Haha right? Weekends are empty feeling
One benefit of working on home for a year, cats can now qualify for the bar exam.
Thank you Mr. Colbert for the most joyous minute and a half of 2021. I watched the Cat Lawyer so many times my daughter had to take my phone fearing I might never stop laughing. You sir (and your lovely Evie) are a national treasure in such bleak times. Again, my heartfelt thanks. And now that I have stolen my phone back from my munchkin, I must to go back to uncontrollable laughter. “I’m not a cat, Your Honor” indeed.
Good thing that lawyer felt he needed to make clear he's not a talking cat...
@TrueKen 😀😀
Always state the obvious.
The funniest part is the warning that it's illegal to o record the hearing lol ....all the " legal eagles" broke the law. Did they get fined or jail time; per the warning? But the "cat" didn't seem any dumber than the others involved,
@TrueKen👍😸😸😸😸
Law School 101👩⚖️
Evie’s laugh should be a permanent add to this show.
They need to _hire_ her to be a permanent audience member in the front row (with her own mic).
Only audience we need
@@remiscott9843 Seriously it's like we're in the room with them when we hear her laughter.
I’m a good person. But I find Evie laughing really, really annoying. Mega turn off. The reason is this: she laughs at anything and everything. Whatever Steven says, she giggles. It’s too easy, there’s no challenge in making her laugh. Therefore it lowers the bar to the viewing public who need better jokes to laugh; Steven can get by without real showmanship because Mom will support him no matter what. And this lowers the overall standard because it’s not a buyer’s market anymore, his wife will continue to laugh wether it’s really funny or not... I’ve said my piece
@@tweegeTX3 someone told her we like it and she cut loose. Probably both a bit tipsy. I like it tho. I watch all the late shows, and like that each has gone in it's own, unique direction.
Stephen's wife can replace the crowd all by herself. Love her laugh.
“I’m not a cat”....best line EVER!!!
Guessing cat lawyer's 'assistant' was his granddaughter...
Hopefully not his lover because he harassed his last one so hard she lost her business and freedom.
@@ulogy could've been both
@@BlackCat-dm7se Would be the most Q5 2020 outcome.
No, it was his assistant and he was using her computer. In an interview he said she was mortified. I'm sure he threw her under the bus.
@@ulogy Well you're really determined to brew a killjoy huh? You're spamming the same comments everywhere. Vindictive much?
President Nixon - I am not a crook. Cat Lawyer - I am not a cat. Who should we believe?
Raise a glass to the catified lawyer, who was ready to soldier on. I love how the filter captured the horrified stare upon him looking down at the screen and realizing what was up.
Evie's laugh at the "forgetting kids" line was so heartwarming.
That damn cat filter video makes me howl every time!
I see what did you there...
THE EYES!
Bruce Castor: "I'm here and I'm actually a cat, just that I cannot remove this human filter."
Stephans wife laughing in the background is everything!
His wife’s laughter off-screen made my day.
Bruce Castor: "Well, criticize all you want, I got him off, didn't I?" Stormy Daniels: "I got him off too, but I got paid $130K!" Bruce Castor: "You got paid?"
🤣🤣🤣...I needed this joke...😂😂😂
Great joker!
Oooff!!
69th like. Woot.
Wouldnt be the first time trumps f'd somebody and not paid them...
My cat would make an amazing lawyer. No jury could resist his large, mournful eyes.
My cat would be a better president than tRump.
@@doneestoner9945 A mouse would be a better president than Trump.
This needs way more likes
At least the cat lawyer has a face you don't want to punch; so there's that.
Billy Cassidy said “IF I was an impartial juror” not that he IS that person.
Thank you!!!! I'm glad someone else caught that.
I'm here live... I'm not a cat... but I ask that we paws for a meowment while I get my furry filter fixed...
Very good 😊
that was purrfect.
ain't no pussy-footing on your comment!
You've been hanging around Bill too long.
@@aaronsarchive82 hey you stole my name
Speaking of a low bar... it must be way easier to pass and become a lawyer than I've been lead to believe.
And they still have the nerve to charge eye watering fees ?
Limbo, anybody?
You can graduate from college with straight C's and D's, but as long as you pass your exams still become a lawyer. Or a doctor, for that matter. People don't need to be particularly intelligent for higher degrees, they just need to be good at memorizing things for a short time to take a test. I've certainly met a lot of "well-educated" dumbasses in my life.
@@timbeaton5045 the bar is so low even these snakes struggle to get under . could be a new frump symbol - a snake trying to slither under a bar on the ground with the motto when they go low we go lower .
No fkn doubt there. A person doesnt have to study, learn, or even comprehend being in a classroom in order to 'earn' their credentials. I know more about making a BigMac than these 'lawyers' know about law
I love cat lawyer! Especially when the cat eyes move to find out how to remove the filter and when he was talking the little mouth moving and the eyes moving and his voice... The whole thing was 😂 and 😺 at the same time! I LOVED IT!
I wasn't ready for the cat, had coffee in my mouth.
Bruce Castor: “Hey man, how’s my driving?” Everyone else: “I think we’re parked, man.”
Excellent Cheech & Chong reference
Bruce's not here
"And you're on the back seat anyway"
Lol
Love it
Bruce Castor: “I’m here live, I’m not a cat. Probably.”
Definitely not. If animals had lawyers, they would be cats, but they'd be much, much better at it than this guy. Where did they dig up Castor anyway? No, I mean literally where did they dig him up?
"I can see that." Top five of most obvious utterences ever.
"I do understand the difference."
more like bruce cattor
Castor means beaver in French, just a minor shift. Nothing dirty implied; I believe you Americans have another meaning for beaver.
I love Stephen’s wife’s laugh!! So hearty....she makes my day when she laughs out loud 😂😂❤️
OMG, the kitty lawyer! This is so much joy for us during these crazy times! What a treat! 😂
Ohhhhh how we needed cat lawyer right now. That shit had me in tears!
3:42 - "I'm here live. I'm not a cat" lmao
Meow
@@lindajude6505 lol meooow, linda
Fucking hilarious 😆 😂😅
The fact he felt the need to explain that he's not a cat really made me LOL!
@@darylwhittakergoteborg1437 lol I cracked up the first time, second, third fourth firth yadda yadda. His clarification never gets old lolol
the lack of joy from the other people on the cat zoom call is sad. they didn't even crack a smile!
"I'm not a cat." Well, thanks for clearing that up.
I kept hearing all day yesterday about the "I'm not a cat" comment but had no idea where it came from, so glad to finally see it's origin.
3 cheers for Rod Ponton. He has a sense of humour. “You can’t put toothpaste back in the tube”! Bless him!
reason.com/video/2014/10/21/the-purple-zone-raid-how-the-dea-got-the/ I gather his sense of humour only goes so far...
Everyone is focused on "I'm not a cat..." The funny thing is he says "I'm prepared to go forward with it..."Than🐱
Attorney cat: “I’m not a cat” 🐈 Me: sounds like something a cat would say 🤔
Well.. If I was told Donnie was the one who was supposed to be paying me... I'd phone it in too.
Yeah, those guys aren't getting their cheques.
in any business you never put too much time or resources in a sketchy client without a deposit
Especially when you know nothing you say will affect the outcome.
That laugh tells me that Stephen also once forgot to take his kids to school
No matter how many times I see that cat video I’m rollling in tears!! When he says I’m willing to proceed I lost it! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
OMG...that cat filter was the best laugh out loud I've had for weeks!! The look on its face along with the voice. That's just classic.
*The live feed we see of the impeachment trial should include not just the current speaker but also live shots of the members of the senate as they sit, having taken oaths as jurors, and what they are doing.*
I want to see a new cat lawyer show starring Rod Pawton and Muttlock
"Just make a linear movie for once, Chris!" Christopher Nolan: No, I don't think I will.
if you'd put the response before the question this post would have been gold
The cat video is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen!😂🤣😂🤣😂
Evie’s laugh at the forgotten kids joke may have been the best thing I’ve heard in over a year. We love her so much!
collins entire life is grounded in being perplexed
concerned
I think she learned her lesson. 😆 🤣
@@colonelkurtz2269 _I think she learned her lesson._ Yes, she did. After all, she got re-elected. She learned the same lesson that Trump did, apparently. :(
His ever so slight whine in his accent makes the filter that much better.
😂
Steven's wife laughing is more fun than the studio audience
That kitten face showing up literally brought the laughs yesterday while I watched the proceedings with 2 elderly, vehement, dump supporters. Only I was laughing at the super adorable face as that aged lawyer clearly had no idea how he ended up with a kitten filter.
Do tell ... how were the tr*** supporters you watched the trial with taking the facts? Did they budge at all in their support of IMPOTUSx2 ?
@@eaglevision9791 Its possible Dump won the election after all...which is horrible. However, let the impeachment be solid, that he is deposed same day. Mitch McConnell is Emperor Palpatine.
@@astilealavatica1404 Okay i'll bite: How could Trump still win the election?
@@ngotemna8875 Apparently China intercepted results and flipped them. I don't like it...Dump is evil...but so are most Senators and Congressmen...so let's make Dump President long enough to throw him out of office. Sort of win win...
@@bittersweet6507 No...I love em but they are ignorant folk.
he hires only T H E B E S T P E O P L E
And fired the honest one
*Out of the pool of people actually willing to work for him.
🤣🤣
... That are left after everyone that's competent jumps ship to save what's left of their careers. He's like Goldfinger, only everything he touches turns to shit, and falls in a fan. Shitfinger, if you will.
Those jokes were on point today. Thank you for the laugh!
Jon Batiste always with the great selections-- RIP Fats Domino
"We only lost one...so I believe we had a good day." Hot tip: never hire Bruce Castor as your lawyer or your babysitter.😂😂😂
He's like really really not a good lawyer 😂 wanna bet some think he's playing 5D Chess like 45?
or an eye doctor.
@@markmac2206 on point 😂😂
Nothing left to do but to take a nap when opposing counsel turns into a cat.
Yes. A catnap
This country has went from "I'm not a crook" to "I'm not a cat." I think I'm happy with that
Nobody talks about Bauer in the lower left corner. I can tell that this guy is a real son of gun. The way he puts on his glasses & leans in with the smirky smile. 😄
4:09 I'm not a cat😂😂😂
It was reported that Castor got the job after trump was told that Perry Mason and Matlock wouldnt take his case for some reason.
I can actually hear Matlock say “ I can’t represent HIM, he’s guilty as hell! I won’t do it!”
~ I love you man, no one make me scream and howl with healthy , healing , life giving laughter like you ....bless you and your gifted helpers. Thanks you. Let it shine !
OH MY GOD I laughed SO HARD at 5:32 holy cow. Thank you for that!!! XD
I feel the need to remind everyone that declawing is painful and cruel.
Any cat lover who thinks declawing is ok needs their fingers and toes tips removed too.I will gladly do it for them at no cost.
@@eaglevision9791 No it's not. It's more like amputating the first joints of your fingers.
YES! It's like cutting off a third of each your fingers. And people wonder why cats have behavioral issues after declawing. 🙄
That is no reason not to de-claw lawyers.
Touché i suppose i was being too nice by using the word “clipping”. i should have said, “permanently disable”. But yeah, y’all are right.
Law students take note: be a kitten
I love the reaction of the guy to the left. He takes a look at it, looks surprised and puts on his glasses, and has the "Am I really seeing what I think I'm seeing?"-look all over him. Also, Thank you so much, developers at Zoom, for not only providing ius with these filtyers, but also making them slightly hard to turn off. Thank YOU for your service!
It depends on you computer program, I have no filters when on zoom.
I really love that the cat filter featured an embarrassed and remorseful cat. It made it really difficult for the judge to held the cat in contempt as long as it was so clear that it regretted deeply to have appeared in court. :))
The crew/Evie's laugh in the background is just the best! It's better than a studio audience imo haha!
because its not a flashing sign telling them to laugh. its real.
@@markmac2206 ever been to see the show live? No? Or read a study about how studio laughs don’t need to be prompted because they’re socially incited? Didn’t think so.
@@THEEGGMANwooooo calm down Karen. i do know there is an applause sign.
@@markmac2206 but, there isn’t, that’s the point chad
@@THEEGGMANwooooo ive seen them. unless they only have them on some talk shows. not sure why your soft ass is so offended about this.
I will keep the “Lawyer Cat” video in my queue UNTIL THE DAY I AM DEAD.
Omg I didn't know the cats eyes moved!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
“What are you in for?” “ Littering... and creating a public nuisance .” Thanks Argo!
Where's the little pencil? I was promised a little pencil to fill out my Group W form
@@angelafields8319 I have a very clear memory of the first time I heard that song. Ah, the good old days! Graduated high school in 1968. I’ll play the record later on my stereo high fi .
I am a technological moron so the cat lawyer's predicament has made my day.Good to know that there are others in the struggle with those damn keys. If there is any consolation to the poor guy his chosen filter could have been much worse. Bloke in the bottom left didn't believe what his eyes were telling him so he had to put on his glasses and the guy top right was either sleeping or tripping coz he never reacted.
Oh no, on the original video top right guy trys not to laugh at the end!
Yeah the guy at the top looks up when the guy says “I’m not a cat” and that’s when he laughs
I know; Stephen could've gotten a joke or two in on "Top-Right Comatose Guy (though he does chuckle at 'I'm not a cat')".
“Used POTUS.” LOL
Oh God, that cat filter!!! LOL I'm in tears! That's the kind of thing you would see on SNL. But it's 100 times more hilarious that it actually happened!
The I am not a cat defense is amazing.
It doesn't take too many senators to switch positions before this thing could get some momentum. This is the same reason that Democrats need to actually hold Republican Senators accountable for filibusters. Make them stand up for the 18 hours straight and not use filibusters as effortless pocket vetoes to kill bills without effort. If the Republicans first impeachment have been handled like a real trial then things might have turned out differently then as well.
nah, trump can't afford a cat lawyer
most animals can sense evil and will distance from it . there's a reason you don't see animals around that family . live ones anyway .
Stephen's description of Bill Cassidy was priceless.
I had to pause the video to laugh at the cat zoom filter. My throat, chest, and stomach hurt from the laughter. Those few precious seconds almost make up for the entirety of the last thirteen months.
Jon’s smile is so infectious
The eyes, his voice, the “I’m not a cat” comment.. such a perfect moment...
You mean purrfect.
Oh my gosh I watched this cat lawyer last night, I sent it to everyone I know, couldn't stop laugging!!
I absolutely love being able to hear the staff cracking up at Stephen's jokes