How to Treat a Person with Disabilities, According to People with Disabilities
2018 ж. 27 Қар.
303 635 Рет қаралды
We talk to people living with disabilities about the proper ways to treat someone with disabilities.
Watch more 'How to Treat X': • How to Treat...
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Another one I hate is if you don’t “look disabled” you’re not. I have autism. It affects the way I think and process the world. No one asks me for help when the sensory overload gets too much or comforts me when I get nervous and stim, but instead ask, “What’s wrong with you?”, because to everybody else, I look like everybody else.
What infuriates me on people who have autism, they're never given a chance to show what they can do. I have cerebral palsy but it's extremely mild compared to what a lot of others with the same condition are going through. The thing I'm tired of is entitled parents accusing the disabled of faking just to get a disabled check and these are the same ones who park in handicapped parking spaces and act like it's justified.
@@steveboone1498 I’m so sorry.
@@dontmindme.imjustafraidofe9327 No need to worry.
Thanks for sharing your feelings. Don't let your disability defined you don't be ashamed , nobody better smarter than you nobody better than you . I rather be kind not a bully
@@chrissystewart6268 Thank you so much. Your words are very appreciated.
How to make video about disabled persons: Don't use a sad background music
LITERALLY IT'S JUST SO ANNOYING
In the arms of the angels... I like sad music for sad people. Teach then to work at Mcyds and cook those burgers!
Good comment. Brother
Yeah I don’t ask disabled people about their disability because it’s none of my business. I also don’t help the disabled unless they are showing some difficulty, then I will ask if they need help.
Seems about right, yup.
Same here, that's a sane approach.
I messed myself up bad in an accident. I was in a wheelchair and then moved up to a walker. Most people ignored me but were nice. I was surprised by how many people asked what happened just so they could then tell me their problems.
Friend, your comment reads out as someone who can be careless about others around you & surrounding. When thought for a bit however, your actions are understandable. Leave them be I'll say till noticing a disabled person having difficulty on their own doing a task. To me, that is being helping. Never completely ignore anyone witnessing have a difficult time doing a task.
@@JCentes00 You just re-stated what he typed dude...
Yes. I really hate it ( not too much tho) when people think I'm so "strong and resilient". I'm not. I'm fighting my own battles everyday. I have minor cerebral palsy. It really isn't that special. My heart breaks everyday looking at myself sometimes, but I still feel so grateful to be alive and thriving. I'm going to college soon too.
Re: Invisible Disabilities. Many persons with disabilities are fighting a battle on several fronts: 1. Suicidal thoughts (ideation). 2. Social ostracism. 3. Social avoidance. Although this only appears voluntary. 4. Poverty. 5. Workplace and job discrimination and harassment. 5. Drug and alcohol addiction. 6. Sexual and financial exploitation. 7.Subordinating one's self and pretending not to have a disability. 8.Victims of crime. Many crimes go unreported. 9.Adopting self annihilating and self-deprecating language. 10.Being treated as though we're invisible. 11.Housing issues and housing discrimination. All of these things compound problems and create crises. So the next time you think that people with the invisible disabilities are not included please think of this.
How did you know all of these?😢
My husband is not physically disabled, he has Asberger syndrome. I didn’t recognize it at first because I fell in love with him. Over the course of 14 years, there have been difficult times to try to learn how he communicates and how I need to adapt. I don’t interrupt him when he is trying to convey his thoughts, but I do question him to make sure I understand correctly. I’m not going to lie, sometimes I get frustrated but I tell him why. Him and I know each other very well to know when we both need help. I’m not physically or mentally impaired, but I still require help at times. He knows that, it is all about knowing the persons needs and wants and when to communicate to better the relationship.
The thing about people "helping" without asking if someone needs help and without asking how to help is probably comparable to little kids who want to help out in the kitchen but don't know how to. The kid just runs into the kitchen and adds ingredients and mixes stuff together but they don't know how to cook or what needed to be done for the recipe, so they end up ruining the dish. People with disabilities aren't saying that it's wrong to help others, they're just saying that the best way to help is to ask if someone needs help, and ask how to help them, rather than just assume you know exactly how to help them
Amen.
How to treat people. Treat them like people.
My disabilities are not visible but i still feel the weight of it on me everyday. I look like a normal person you couldn't even tell i'm disabled but when talking to me you can tell. I have brain damage,epilepsy,heart problems plus a lot more and i always tell myself every day just keep moving forward. I liked this video as it gives a voice to the people that are disabled it shows we are people too but my problems with this video it is it should be longer dive deeper into showing more about the day to day life of a disabled person/s and it should show someone who doesnt show a disability but has a disability. Thanks for the video.
As a person with a disability this is completely true and I appreciate that people are getting the word out
as someone with muscular dystrophy (not the wheelchair kind) I see that I will one day end up in a place where I am unable to move at all. I see all disabled people as a great group, able to push through all scenarios that prove to be very disheartening. I hope that all of these people live good lives and have the greatest life imaginable.
Hey man I have spasticity so I will probably end up in a wheelchair and a muscles disorder it makes my muscles weak and I might go blind because of my optic nerve atrophy and cornea dystrophy
Great attitude bro; as one of the biggest challenges I see not talked about is the affect it takes on our mental health and attitude. so it inspires me to see others living their best lives.
There is still a vast number of inequity for the disabled under our very inept SSDI program. It hasn't been adequately updated since it was launched by Pres. Eisenhower. To this day they still send people with disabilities to "vocational rehabilitation". The very same program with a historically low success rate of below 1%. "By June 1958, more than 800,000 persons had been referred to state vocational rehabilitation agencies and about 95,000 were selected for additional consideration. Yet, only about 550 beneficiaries (0.2 percent of the beneficiary population) were successfully rehabilitated (Social Security Administration 1959)." -This statement was from the SSA's very own database. Yet no changes to this reality have been made since 1959. Aside from one. Which was the elimination of the age requirement to receive disability. A regulation that is vastly and irresponsibly ignored by Administrative Judges overseeing disability cases. To this day they seem to have ignored this change and still use the "you're under 50" as a reason for the denial of benefits.
Waiting for someone to say this video is 'inspirational'.....
Ugh...
This inspirational
How bout ya treat them like any other person.
Right! Like "open the door ur self stacy, just cuz u aint got no hands dont mean shit" smh
@@fkdhjfghdsjkghjkfhgkfjd - SHUT UP PLEASE! JUST SHUT *TF* UP! *PLEASE!*
@@robbyx5066 what I meant was treat them the way you'd treat anyone else, if they need help.. help them if they don't then don't try to help. I'm disabled and I don't expect help from anyone. However if i need help and someone offers then that's great. But i also don't like it when people try to help when i don't want or need it.
As someone with a disability i find that offensive. You need to baby us, ideally you'd offer a piggyback ride up stairs or maybe a foot rub.
So like shit
Thank you for this. Must say there is absolutely nothing worse than being told you "don't look disabled" when asking for assistance for a disability. Nothing has hurt more or invalidated my lived experiences as a disabled woman more than that. To ask for a disabled entrance and be told "you don't look disabled" is sickening and just beyond words... I pray that no one else has to go through what I did. Non-disabled people: It is NOT a compliment to tell us we do not look disabled. It is deeply upsetting and invalidating and ignores our experiences of disability.
And if you do “look disabled” they treat you like an infant and also dehumanize you…
It sucks. I'm disabled. I have had epilepsy for about 20 years. People always say, "You don't look disabled, you're weak and sore all the time cause of stress." Or talk to me like a child and say, "You don't understand anything. Someone intelligent would think and do this... "Or "If you would just use your brain..." But if I talk and say something it's "You don't make sense." Or They never acted or said anything to put me down. Or They deny acting rude and disrespectful 😢
@@lisagarcia2602 Jesus. I’m sorry people treat you that way. I hope you remember how people treat you is not a sign of your intelligence, it’s a sign of theirs.
@@lisagarcia2602 Of course that probably doesn’t help much, but I dunno. I just hope you’re doing good
So because people don't seem to understand the "ask before you help" thing: I use a manual wheelchair. people will often grab and move me because they think I need help. If they do this while I have my hands on the wheels, it can cause me injury, like a broken finger or rip off my fingernail. You wouldn't walk up to a random person, pick them up and move them, would you? People also like to hold doors for me - by standing in the space I need to safely navigate through the door. They get offended if I tell them they are in the way. They get upset if I roll over their feet. I can manage most doors on my own, but if you really want to help, hold the door in a way that you're out of the doorway. Most are so narrow that I can barely get through without hitting my hands. I've had literally a line up of ableds wanting to help me unload and assemble my chair when I drive. I'm sure it looks awkward, but unless you have experience assembling a rigid frame manual chair, it's going to take me more energy to explain it and check that you've done it right than to just do it myself. Also, it is important to me to have independence. I hate getting asked every 30 seconds "do you need help?" Like, you just heard me tell the last two people no, let me do my thing. Oh, asking about a person's disability is kinda sketchy. I get asked all the time what happened. Consider that a person may have experienced a traumatic event which led to their disability and may not want to talk about it. Not to mention, it's private medical information. I don't ask you if your genitals work, don't ask me.
"I get asked all the time what happened " Was it a BDSM thing? It was a BDSM thing wasn't it
Wtf - You roll over their feet?
You know...the last time I checked, theres nothing wrong with someone trying to help, or lend a hand. It's YOUR choice to be 'offended' by it. Equally so, you're expecting people to understand exactly how you see things or perceive things, when it's impossible to do so. Trust me, the day people STOP trying to be nice...is the day you'll be complaining that 'everyone is a dick and treats me like I don't exist because i'm disabled'.
I do always think it’s a bit cringy when people just walk up to disabled people and ask what happened. It’s kinda like when I go places where I’m the only black person in the room and someone inevitably walks over and tells me that they voted for Obama (happens every time)
Useful but bitter at the same time
Just treat me the same as others. If you want to be an asshole go for it. its annoying when people go out of their way to be overly nice, its almost patronizing to me. The bigotry of low expectations
okay im doing this for a class project, but let me just say, Ryan is making my day. The sass
I actually expected to be helped without asking. Thank you and big hugs to everyone who has helped me.
Anyone who gets a driver's license is inspiration to me. I've tried three times and I could not. kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
You can do it
Please don't give up
@@mrbobsshow Thank u!
@@MartellThaCool I'll try ^^
@@samychann I'm a disabled person myself who.came to show support as yourself, Ms/Mrs. Lana
So I'm a bouncer in Bristol and I was bouncing and there was this dude with a disability such as that girl on the wheelchair. He was there kicking back with his mates and a girl came up to me and asked me if he was ok, I looked at him, such as he was(drinking his pint with his crew) and I told her "he is more 'ok' than you or me, because he has the balls to go where he wants to go, whether people will find him different or not"
That didn’t happen you lying ass. I bet everyone who heard you stood up and clapped too, even Wheelz
@@loganburnette7984 And then he sold the movie rights to Hollywood for $4 million. Rumors has it that Channing Tatum will be starring as The Bouncer with Jesse Eisenberg as the Disabled person.
I have a really similar story! I'm a bouncer in Manchester and I was bouncing and there was this dude, such as he was, with a disability such as that girl on the wheelchair. He was there kicking back with his mates and I was bouncing and a girl came up to me while I was bouncing, such as I was, and asked me if he was ok, I looked at him, bouncing, such as he was(drinking his pint with his crew) and I was bouncing and I told her "he is more 'ok' such as he is than you or me, because he has the balls to go where he wants to go, whether people will find him different or not" and everyone clapped
I actually have a similar story as I was bouncing in the Arctic regions of Somalia. An hermaphrodite on a wheelchair was outside the bar smoking a cig with his mates who were all hermaphrodites (we need to do "full inspections" for weapons so I knew) and this transgender (did full inspections on her->him) came up to me asking if the hermaphrodite needed assistance. I didn't even answer. I knocked out the transgender and called the cops. No one will be discriminated against in my establishment. No one.
@@Razsteroid 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
This video helps with disabled people like me who often feel patronized. Its good to know your not the only one feeling so
I treat everyone the same but I do offer help if I think it may be needed. My son offered his arm to a very frail older woman on the bus once and she told him to F--- Off. That was about 15 years ago and we still laugh at that one.
People with Disabilities are humans just like we please don't be mean, don't bully an Disabled person don't act like you better / smarter than them. People with disabilities are smart , they're intelligent , & they don't deserve to be mistreated. Some people with disabilities have trouble understanding I've been around them & I know its hard some people with disabilities have hard times making friends, communicate with one another. I encourage people with disabilities find their passions turn it into careers I don't want to see them get bullied because of their disabilities . be a friend never a bully
My dad was a PBR at age 18 and one rodeo tournament he got bucked off and kick in his head, despite doctors warning he went and rode the next night with the same result being kicked in the head. So on alcohol and pain pills he began his 15 miles drive home. Fell asleep right at a bridge, hit the guard rail and was ejected forward out of the car into the road where his own car then ran him over pulling him around the tire where the tire well ripped one leg off completely and the other was mangled. He laid there for aprx 1 hour before help arrived. (It was 2 in the morning) he survived as a double amputee. He then met my mother 8 years later and had 3 beautiful children and has worked for the city for 20+ years now. He doesn’t need help, he does more than some people with both legs. Going through something that makes you disabled brings out the strongest version of yourself. Always be kind and respectful of people who are different or have disabilities, some are stronger than you are. My dad was recently diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer that spread to his liver but after some experimental treatments it’s gone from his liver and he’s able to work and feel normal again. He really is my hero
Doesn't seem like the sharpest knife in the drawer
Very cool.
@Preston Steele 😂😂😂
Misfit Graves obviously you’re talking about yourself.
Thank you for sharing that. Any other opinion can f*** off.
Treat everyone with respect..people with disabilities know what they can and can't do..don't assume to know for them..if someone wants/needs your help you will be politely asked for it.
I have autism spectrum disorders and it makes me feel misanthropic that people without disabilities treat us differently. I've experienced it myself many times over the years and it's not fun.
Respect. Thanks for the video, Vice. Have a nice day.
You guys are awesome. I have disabilities. Totally get it. Live it to the max.
How to treat people generally is with respect end of the story
The problem with this is that people have that “you have to earn respect” mentality, and it’s annoying as hell..
I have an "invisible" disability so I dont get the offers of help but I do get hated on when people see im acting "abnormal" and dont understand it stems from being autistic and in constant pain.
Thank you speaking my truth being mildly challenged with birth defects from day I was born. Do have low self esteem in my personal life still working on it and came along way from when I was younger now going on 48 next year. Peace and Love
Definitely ask before trying to help someone who has a disability just like you would with anyone (everybody needs help from time to time). It is annoying to say the least when someone would insist on helping me across a street by grabbing my arm and pulling me across the street with them (I can usually see well enough to cross the street safely on my own and know enough to just "shadow" someone else to get across if I can't). Also, ask the person directly, not the people around them. They can generally answer questions concerning themselves better than anyone else can and if for some reason they can't someone else can still speak up and let you know that. People ask the people around me questions about me often, sometimes even when I'm the one to initiate the conversation. I don't fully understand this behavior since my behavor is not erratic and my speaking skills are at least average by any measurement. Also, if you have general questions about someone's disability or difference, just do your best to put the shoe on the other foot and ask yourself "what would MY reaction be if someone asked ME this in this current situation, would I be comfortable answering it?" and take it from there. Personally, most of the time I am quite happy to answer questions people have. If you are still unsure, it might be better the ask them in a private setting and when you are a little more comfortable with each other. If you do ask a question that they would rather not answer about their disability, unless you have a real need to know and you can explain that need to them, it is best to just accept it at that. I don't speak for anyone else with a disability, this is just my opinion from my own experiences.
I'm genuinely curious about why some of these conflict with each other. Disabled people say they don't want their disabilities to be ignored but also want us to act like nothing's 'wrong' with them? I guess it's just that individual disabled people have different preferences, but it does make it difficult to know how to act around random disabled people you meet in everyday life.
Basically dont feel a need to totally tiptoe around the fact someone is disabled or avoid mentioning it at all costs, but dont act like its someones entire personality, as a lot of people will speak to disabled people like children and like we have no actual hobbies or personality traits. Whenever I meet strangers they always start by asking what happened to me, and then wehn i briefly say im disabled and then change the subject theyll bring it back to the fact im disabled with every thing, like if i tell them my job theyll say ''ooh youre so brave, its inspiring to see people liek you working'' instead of keeping regular conversation about careers. Basically just act exactly how you would with anyone else, and dont feel like its wrong to mention the disability if necesarry! And if you know someone more closely theres nothing inapropriate about asking questions! Plus most of us have thick skins and dont mind a bit of joking at our expense among friends, and if i roast my friends for having a wierd laugh or shit hair I'll expect them to make a joke about me being 'lazy' or whatever in return That and as a stranger dont just touch us or pick us up without asking, we're likely not struggling I agree the video is too short not to go into more detail to clarify :)
Chartered, yes... people are different.
@@daisydrawsstuff4227 Thanks, Daisy! That's definitely helped.
@@daisydrawsstuff4227 exactly don't assume that all people with disabilities are brain dead because we are not we read just as much as people without disabilities do and we are just as capable of fending for ourselves as non disabled people are
"Dont want their disabilities to be ignored but also want us to act like nothing's wrong" Sam, what they want is to be treated with respect. They dont want to be looked down on or excluded. They want their rights but treated with dignity. You can knowledge the disability while treating them as a whole person.
Haha, I like this guy. To non disability people - just act normal, no need to do anything special. We may move different or look different, but at the end our needs is just like your needs :)
yeah that's true
I really enjoyed this post. I've got a syndrome that has fused about a third of my spine & yes I have a disability, but I'm quite capable of taking care of myself. My real issue in life is the over-helpers - the coat issue reminded me of an incident recently. I too have a special way of putting my coat on & I was out for dinner and when leaving I was putting on my coat & this person tried to help & I said I'm ok & I could see her struggling with that - but there's nothing wrong with my arms. If she had helped me it would have been terrible & I wouldn't have been able to drive home & I would have gone out of the restaurant on a freezing day, take off the coat & put it on again properly. Then the people who ask do I need help to get somewhere - but they know I have a car & I drive it everywhere. The worst was someone, who I had no idea was next to me, grabbed my bag whilst I was going down long steep stairs at a railway station. The situation almost made me fall & as I was nowhere near the bottom I could have fallen & Iiterally could have been killed. Then she argued with me about helping me by holding my bag, I was so upset, I just wanted her to go away & leave me alone. She hasn't spoken to me since, which is a blessing. Then there are the people that treat a physical disability as an intellectual disability & see the need to give you advice on everything. Having a bit of a vent today. Those people are rare to have to deal with, but disturbing when they appear.
This reminds me of the episode in The Office where Michael Scott wrongfully has pitty of Billy, the building manager and makes a scene off it 😂
This video is so inspiring.
People are people and everyone should be treated the same. Great video!
I don’t look at a disabled person and think oh look there disabled I think of them as another human being that has feelings and talents
You are inspirational
as a disabled person, i feel like this is a bit too much too ask. since your needs are different than someone who is able-bodied, people are going to have to treat you different. That doesn't make them a bad person.
Well some disabled people can do alot of things similiar to abled bodied people and can have similar needs the fact that its alot things hard for them to comorehend with but that dont stopped them for learning yeah they can learn chellenges like anyone besides ecpecting help from individuals too unless thier gladly to help but thier also human should still be treated fairly regardless of thier diffrent needs too or the way they handle things u should treat everyone like thier human if u try to understand thier needs or help and can help them thats fine if they wanted to be treated diffrent then u should but just treating them diffrent u shouldnt im disabled myself imagin if u were disabled and i just treat you diffrent like less of a person
And it does make u a bad person if u treating them diffrent thats heartless of u to say u should treat everyone fair
Thanks Vice for making a video about how to treat human beings. This video ended discrimination once and for all
People just need not be jerks to other people, whatever their walk of life. This goes for people with disabilities too. I kid you not, I once had a girl with no arms mouth off at me for opening a door for her... It was one of those damned if I do, damned if I don't situations. She acted like i'd just thrown a nasty slur her way. Awful.
How was she going to open it? Did it have a knob or handle that needed twisting? Like with her mouth or feet or something?
@@herschellewis6475 yeah like a shiny, round door knob. As I aproached she was just staring at the door like it was an immovable object and then went off about how I was suggesting she couldn't do it on her own by helping her. By all accounts, i'd say she couldn't at that point in time without maybe removing her shoes and doing some gymnastics. I also needed to get through the door! Lol
You'll get used to it. Now, travel to Spain and open doors for women.
And for the love of everything also don't suggest a cure for our disabilities. You're not my medical team. Sit down.
I use a walker and get frustrated when people don't ask me if I need help but just assume that I need help! PEOPLE JUST BECAUSE I WALK WITH A WALKER PLEASE DON'T ASSUME THAT I NEED HELP! IF I NEED HELP I WILL LET YOU KNOW! People living with a physical disability can be and are extremely independent! To us it is considered being rude if you come up to us and help us without asking
Thx I will use this
Same
Indeed & rightly!
I loveee this!
Talking about disabilities openly, but respectfully, is the best way to destroy taboos and mental barriers
I can agree. I have Scoliosis and somehow my back brace looks similar to the back braces for people with back injuries. For me it makes sense why people ask me: what happened? Because of how my back brace is similar to the back injury ones.
Helped alot
Cerebral palsy can be reversed naturally. Contact #herbalistevelyn to begin healing.
YES SOMEONE HAS FINALLY SAID IT , we're disabled yes but we're human first personally I don't care if people ask about my Cerebral Palsy or I get asked how did you become a firefighter or a welder!?! I worked my ass off I absolutely hate it when fellow Firefighters and welders automatically assume I can't do stuff like bro I've been trained to do this get out of my way your slowing me down by trying to help me every single step of the way not only that it's super freaking annoying like if I need help I will ask
Seriously they baby you like an infant
As someone with a very visible disability (no left hand, no legs below kneecaps) the most frustrating thing is when people treat you extra "nicely". It's just super weird and it needs to stop, I'm just another guy, like you, so treat me the damn same and stop treating me like a child that recently experienced trauma in a car accident.
people often judge people with disabilities with preconceived thoughts without being aware about how their actions may affect them... people need to be aware about how their actions may negatively affect the disabled. the way we talk, the way we act or behave around them shouldn't be any different from the way we behave, act, or talk around people without disabilities...
💖 love and respect from my heart to people with disability .
I'm a wheelchair user and these things happen ALL THE TIME. I'll just be pushing my daughter in her pram and people will come up to me and say, 'that's clever' and 'you're so brave' or try to grab the push chair to 'help me'. I know they mean well, but please stop.
Cool vidéo thanks
Thanks for this - as someone with MS..this video is so true.
I have a physical disability and the other day someone kept dwelling on it and I talked to that person as camly as possible and said you know I don't mean to be rude but I don't need you to keep reminding me of my disability I have lived with it my whole life and frankly my issues are my issues and none of your business. He looked at me shocked and was speechless. People with disabilities are people too. We date people with and without disabilities. We have goals and dreams just like anyone else. I am a mother of two boys and I was married for a few years.
this video was awesome and hilarious! :)
I agree with every word, and want to add one more thing: I don’t hold anything against drug addicts, but please, don’t mistake us for one another in countries where drugs are illegal.
The same as everyone else,Saved you 3:44
What not and what to do: Number one: ask before you act.(if possible) You may be wondering what I mean. Some people don't need help or wanna fit in, and involuntary helping them will make them feel different . Others may want help, and that's ok. 2: don't treat them less then your average peer. It links with the first one. People may not want to be pointed out that they have a disability and just want to get by. 3: don't mess with their lifeline Teachers, bosses, managers, etc. May think your pump is a phone (especially teachers) when it's their lifeline, or they have a service dog to help them out but may not have a vest on. DO NOT PET. 4: If they wanna be alone, leave them alone( unless absolutely necessary) Sometimes people wanna do stuff on their own, or fix their problems without being disturbed. Please list more as these are what I struggle with (partially)
Yes, we are good people.❤️
You all are Great
Thank u vice, this is exactly the video our society needs. No more inspiring/pathetic about us anymore.
Well get out there and prove your worth
Love this haha 👍👍
Exactly
loved the ending
I’m glad these people have confidence in themselves and each other, only a little disappointed that they don’t recognize our input as a society..
How to treat people with colostomy bags, according to people with colostomy bags
i want to know too
Just don't treat them like shit,oopss wrong choice of words.!!
Munden just don’t hug them too hard
first step, do not kick them in the belly.
You're an idiot
tbh even if I saw someone in a cast I would ask what happened.. even someone with a scar I would ask what happened? Doesnt mean Im entitled, just treating you equally
Being a wheelchair user i almost never get asked if i need help but i get looked at in a way that projects that i should be ashamed to exist most time or the half smile as if to say ah bless your heart now move. I wasn't always in a chair so i can 100% tell you that you get treated with disrespect in almost every way possible. Im so glad i have a way to go shopping but i hate being treated so poorly for just wanting to be in public. I have had people ask what is the gas mileage i get on my wheelchair and at a church once a guy asked if i was using the churches wheelchair lol yeah buddy i did and i plan on stealing it to im the wheelchair bandit. I never went to that church again. People will tell you that you are being to sensitive but all that is is them saying look just shut up and take it you dont deserve to be treated like a human being.
That is just a weird thing to me that they would accuse you of stealing a church's wheelchair.
I dont get a lot of that, but occassionally i come across ppl who see a wheelchair and lose their mind. I even had a person play chicken with me and try to block me from passing in the aisle. Its bizarre when it does happen. I get the awkward jokes too, and i think most are unintentional and just ppl who mean well but have no clue whatsoever what they sound like. For me, the worst is the ppl who want to cure you by convincing you to take dewormer or some stupid fad cure. Or preachers who insist you are disabled because you dont have enough faith 🙄 they obviously never read the Bible!
First video I have seen by vice which is really helpful, otherwise they make a lot of opinionated crap.
Such a vice kind of video
It's tricky sometimes. You're damned if u dont ask, but also damned if u ask.. Sometimes they think we dont care, sometimes they think we are nosy.. Every disable person is different, the best is just see how open they are first bout their disability and look at the body languages
This is true, we’re each different. I think reading these comments is helpful for some basics, other than that just do the best you can. I love kids’ approach because they’re fascinated by my wheel chair and aren’t shy about showing it. For myself, I prefer to be asked if I need help, not just suddenly pushed along by a well meaning person. I’ve practiced saying, “Thanks, I’d like to wheel myself.”
Cool.
I have 2 disabilities one is physical ( I walk using crutches ) & the other is developmental ( I have short term memory loss) so I have made the personal choice to not bother dating anyone simply because I feel like I'm unworthy & therefore don't want to waste my time or anyone else's
I have literally been sitting in my wheelchair in my van after loading it at walmart and had a man stick his head INSIDE MY VAN to ask if I needed help because "I saw you had something in your hands and thought maybe you needed help". I work as a chaplain at a hospital which is NOT very accessible at all...and have to struggle to open doors all day long as I go from one ward to another, and I swear people ask if I need help at every door, half the time when I say no, I am OK they are fine with it, half the time they help anyways...I really wish they wouldn't because once someone did that and I couldn't see their feet and their toes got ran over. My permobil is HEAVY. Ugh.
I have a permobil too. Much better than jazzy that gets stuck on tic tacs
3:17 yes, yes it will
I have vocal cord paralysis too, but I don't need a trach because it's only my left cord, and it's stuck open, not closed, so it doesn't impede my airway. This means though that my right cord can't vibrate off it the way it's supposed to, so air leaks through the gap and gives me a very hoarse, raspy voice. I get so sick of people meeting me for the first time and asking if I have laryngitis or if I'm sick.
With respect and admiration they percivere where others would have folded
Don't open the door for them. They got it. And if they dont hit em with a joke then get the door. I've literally been thanked for not helping while noticing.
Yes yes yes yes yes!!! ‘What happened?’ And the like are my most hated questions, nothing ‘happened’ and I don’t want to delve into my medical history right now, I normally say something like ‘it’s just life” or “nothing, this is just the way it is” and my most hated statement is ‘you’re so inspirational, so brave and stoic, I could do it!’ Oh please stop, I’m just doing my best to live day to day, do you want me to just sit there and wail about how unfair it is? You couldn’t do it you say, what does that mean? If you had my problems you would end your life? That’s a shitty thing to say it really is!
You are imagining they are talking about you. They are talking about themselves. Stop being a child!!!!
I wish this wasn't just about physical disabilities. If you wanted to do that, it would have been nice for the title to specify it wasn't disabled people in general.
Thanks for a video on the obvious, Vice.
As a disabled person, this is such a bleeding heart channel
How about like every other god damn person on the planet? Stop pretending like they need special treatment, they are people. Just like you, and just like me, and I will never treat them any differently.
Well spoken. This is why I never open a door for someone in a wheel chair. You can do it yourself for fuck's sake. I'll watch if I'm feeling generous.
Unless we ask to be treated in a different way to accommodate our disability or we ask for help. Just treat us like normal. And if you do help by doing something like hold a door for a person using a Walker, crutches or a wheelchair, don't make a a big deal about it. Just hold the door and move on. We already draw enough attention with out people making a big deal about helping us.
I have cerebral palsy and I can relate
just subscribed to vice because this video!
This is so insperational!
"We're not and we're sexy." My response: Yes, I am, thank you! 🤣🤣🤣
Guys vibe at the end were great
@2:29 wonderfully put
I don't even have to watch this video. How do you treat them? Like you would someone without a disability - like a human being! Treat them with respect and don't talk down to them. Don't assume they can't accomplish something simply because they may have to do it a different way.
I was ignored before my disability and now it's the same but more harsh like kick her while she is down. At least it's not completely devastating I'm too busy putting myself first. AKA someone with MS I love myself!!!!!
I've got narcolepsy/cataplexy and I can tell you nothing gets on my nerves more than if I yawn and someone start worrying if I'm going to crash soon. I've gotta pop my ears too ya know? Let me worry about my conditions, I don't want sympathy for the hand I was dealt
You get mad when people worrying about you, we'll see when no one cares about you how you feel... Don't take stuff for granted
My child is a gifted child..Good video..Thank you
So one says “...just ask me questions, I’m happy to answer” followed by another saying less than a second later “people come up to me and ask me questions like they’re entitled to my life story.”
I understand the confusion, but I think the difference here is taking care to actually read the non-verbal or obvious cues. If the question is very simple and basic (ex. "Is there a reason you're doing / you need x?") in a polite manner, then most people would be okay with answering, given that you didn't awkwardly approach someone from across a room just to ask and start a conversation with them over their disability. But beyond that, asking for extremely detailed information like you're a medical practitioner because you want to understand more (although the desire to understand is understandable itself) can feel like an intrusion of someone's privacy, since not everyone is comfortable with talking about detailed medical info, ESPECIALLY when it's to someone who's a complete stranger (and strangers very often will do this). If you never met them before or they appear uncomfortable when you ask a question about their disability, then just don't pry any further than you already have. If they're clearly very open and comfortable with answering your questions after asking something basic (ex. If they give more information than you asked for) then they would probably be happy to discuss it in further detail. If you're unsure, then don't push it. Not everyone likes to be open with a personal topic such as that, especially if doing so has resulted in negative or condescending reactions from other people in the past (also very common). Respect their privacy.
Also, if there's no other reason you'd be starting a conversation with the person and they're a stranger, then starting a conversation solely to ask about their disability can be frustrating because if you thought of doing that then that means they've dealt with many other people doing exactly the same before you. It can be stressful if everyone is asking the same questions every time they go anywhere if they are never allowed to just go about their own business in their life as they would like to. Of course, if this is somebody you met through a friend or family member or really any social situation where you planned to actually CHAT with them about anything else at all, then they would probably be okay with being approached. But, for example, not when they're just trying to mind their own business while running errands, unless they willingly stop to chat on their own. Again, it's clearly about the obvious non-verbal cues, which most people do not seem to acknowledge.
Marisu Cats: all good points, thank you for making them. Like all of us, they are of course individuals who will have differing takes on how they wish to engage and to what degree. More than fair! :)
bruh: again, totally fair. It’s just the title of the video is “How to Treat a Person with a Disability...”, which suggests it’d provide a straightforward, clear way to proceed. But I get it; one size fits all isn’t a reasonable thing to ask. Cheers
I mean, I feel Young and Retired's willingness to try to understand and respect others says enough in itself really and is something worth appreciating from someone. The reason there are common issues that arise for disabled people when interacting with others arises from a lack of that virtue. I think the question he asked is totally fair based on how it was presented in the video. It is very common for people with disabilities to be questioned by complete strangers about very intimate and inappropriate details, but also common for people trying their best to be polite to not ask anything at all about it even if they're friends with the person, which can lead to misunderstandings or awkward moments, so that's what they meant when they made those two statements which sounded contradictory to each other. I really just respect that he cared enough to ask and even listen at all in the first place, unlike many of the other types of people found in this comment section.
Hopefully the same way you should treat anyone else, with respect.
3:44 best part of the video