Partner of a Narcissist - First Steps to Change
Please watch: "How You Can Control Your Emotions with Dr. Fox - Affective Regulation"
• How You Can Control Yo... -~-
Are you the partner of a narcissist or someone along the narcissistic spectrum?
Perhaps you're a mental health provider working with the partner of a narcissist or someone along the narcissistic spectrum. This video is design to help you identify the initial steps to starting treatment and areas of consideration to move forward and plan a trajectory of success. You do have choices and you can build the insight to DO IT DIFFERENTLY!!
Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and award winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 15 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.
He has published several articles in these areas and is the author of:
The Clinician’s Guide to Diagnosis and Treatment of Personality Disorders: goo.gl/ZAVe9v
Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Workbook: Treatment Strategies for Cluster B Personality Disorders (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Gold Award Winner): goo.gl/BLRkFy
His newest workbooks:
Overcoming the Narcissistic Dynamic: Successful Treatment Techniques for Narcissistic Spectrum Clients, Their Partners, and Their Children -COMING SOON-
The Complete Borderline Personality Workbook: Growing Beyond Your BPD -COMING SOON-
Dr. Fox has been teaching and supervising students for over 15 years at various universities across the United States, some of which include West Virginia University, Texas A&M University, University of Houston, Sam Houston State University, and Florida State University. He is currently a staff psychologist in the federal prison system, Adjunct Assistant Professor at University of Houston, as well as maintaining a private practice that specializes in the assessment and treatment of individuals with complex psychopathology and personality disorders.
Dr. Fox has given numerous workshops and seminars on ethics and personality disorders, personality disorders and crime, treatment solutions for treating clients along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum, emotional intelligence, managing mental health within the prison system, and others. Dr. Fox maintains a website of various treatment interventions focused on working with and attenuating the symptomatology related to individuals along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum (www.drdfox.com).
KZhead: / drdanielfox
Dr. Fox’s website: goo.gl/1X1vhR
Facebook: / appliedpsychservices
Twitter: / drdanieljfox1
LinkedIn: / drdfox
Instagram: / drdfox
Thank you for your attention and I hope you enjoy my videos and find them helpful. I always welcome topic suggestions and comments.
Citation: Fox, D. (2013). The clinicians guide to the diagnosis and treatment of personality disorders. Eau Claire, WI: PESI Publishing and Media. npd
Great example of a narcissist, he just now knocked a glass of the kitchen counter and blamed me because I set it there, he is NEVER to blame for ANYTHING
You will always be the blame you will always be the reason you will always be the cause of their unhappiness and it's really not you but they have to projected on somebody praying for you😔
WOW!! My narc husband doesn't that to me as well. Sad individuals.
Hello. I’m a narc. If I were him in this situation I probably wouldn’t blame you for placing the glass there. But I’d blame the glass for falling. Or if no one was around I’d walk away and say “I guess the cat did it”.
😂😂😂😂I had to laugh bcoz this is my life everyday,I get blamed for everything by my narc husband.its very sad indeed.we need prayers nd they need prayers more
@@lesh1986 please check out on KZhead surviving narcissism with dr les carter . . .
Many people in narcissistic spectrum relationships are extremely injured by the time it gets to a point of therapy. It would be nice to see a video that helps set some general boundaries in preparation for therapy. I've been married 22 years. I just moved out of my house last week. I've read five books on narcissism including rethinking narcissism. Unfortunately because I am codependent and have abandonment issues growing up with seven dads and five moms and every category of abuse, I have pretty much done all of the things that you're not supposed to do to a narcissist when I finally lash out and stand up for myself but in a very angry and unhealthy manner. It becomes so difficult for people who have been in these relationships for so long to control their emotions when it gets to that point where the fuse is gone. Just explosions. I believe I can hear my wife crying out from deep inside the pain she went through growing up. I got so much counseling and different perspectives with so many parental figures, that has helped me learn a lot of coping mechanisms to not be a victim or a byproduct of my past. However, I hurt my wife. I break her heart. It doesn't matter to me whether the anger is justified because they are injured with something they cannot bridle or take hold of, then I see therapy for me just as important it is for her if my goal is truly to fix our relationship. My wife and I are getting into arguments that I can't honestly believe people would get into arguments for and they last for days with no reflection. She screamed at me for an hour for stealing her purse last week because she knows she set it down and was swearing at me and cussed me out and flipping me off and all in front of our kids. Of course I eventually interrupted and I have a very fast brain, and started with mocking comments of get ready for the non-apology I'm going to get when you find out I didn't steal your purse. Nobody that has a heart with empathy accuses and judges to such the degree that you are with any concern that they might be out of line. Then of course she finds her purse, found out she threw the dirty clothes on top of her purse when she told our son to put the clothes in the dirty laundry and my 15-year-old son let my My wife know that he's the one that lost her purse. There was no apology. Then I was stonewalled for three days because I wanted one or some sort of contriteness. I have worked very hard and God is brought me a very long way to avoid being a by-product of my past childhood. I won custody of my autistic son completely on my own with no attorney when I was single. I have four boys, married for 22 years, and at this point consider where I am at a gold medal compared to where I could have been in the damage I could have done to any family I would have if I did not get the help I needed when I was younger and have the Lord in my life. All of my boys, including my autistic son are all far more successful and far more mature than I was at their age. My autistic son has already kept His job 5 years longer than I even had a job from 16 to 26. However, I cannot express the atomic bomb that I sense is about to go off and destroy it all because my wife is hurting so deeply and in my attempts to help have only accelerated the process, and am too injured to be of any assistance other than a sister becoming worse. So a video that gives tools where two people in a relationship, even for the narcissist, that can set boundaries and preparation for therapy that are simple and pragmatic. I even told my wife that I'll go through narcissism evaluation, because of course she thinks I'm a narcissist and I expected that from what I've read and learned about the disorder. However, it is extremely important for tools and resources to be available for those relationships, like my own marriage, that are literally about to fall into the ocean and both parties are stretched too far to take micro steps without causing further disruption. I had some heartbreaking stories of what she has done to me, but as a Christian and seeing what rejection and abuse can do to a person, I do see my wife in there crying out for help while ignoring the ladder that's in the hole where she is at the same time, but there is a desperation in her voice. I have gotten to the point where I've gone no contact now for the last 5 days. I am highly codependent with severe abandonment issues, so you can understand how insane I am going right now, especially when you add 10 years worth of stonewalling and unresolved issues that I've had and her ability to stonewall for days as easy as water flowing downstream. I'm afraid anything I do or attempt at this point, because of my eruptions and blow-ups in the past are only going to be seen as a manipulative attempt for self worship, or mind control, or whatever label she throws in there. So I don't even know how to take the right approach anymore and no contact is the first time I've ever done this and I have no idea what's at the end of this process. I'm looking forward to your other videos but I have to be honest, my marriage is come to the point where it's like the parable Jesus told about Lazarus and the rich man where the rich man just wanted a drop of water from the torment and he would be satisfied. I am not saying my wife is the torment where she is tormenting me. I'm saying the loss of what we were and what we have built and the feeling of our marriage ending and as I walk away knowing I couldn't do anything more, I'm still walking away from someone that desperately needs to know they are allowed to have value and it can be found in our imperfections.
Is your wife a believer in Jesus like you?
Hmmmmm
Wow, like you're in my house bro. My wife is more manipulative than yours I think but many of the same traits are there. Blames me for everything, I walk on eggshells, constant stonewalling and silent treatment, it is a never ending quagmire of nonsense that you can never quite get out of. She never, ever, under any circumstances, takes any accountability for anything. I'm always, I mean always, 100% to blame for everything. She doesn't yell and scream all that much, but constantly pokes and prods me, undermines me, calls me names in front of my young children and when I finally blow up, she plays the victim. There is constant gaslighting and lying and when you catch her in a lie, no I'm sorry or any regret, she literally changes topics or tries to shift the blame. It is like dealing with a forever child. I suppose her name could be peter pan or one of the lost boys, she never completely grew up. She literally went and took our children to therapy for a year and a half, is misusing the therapy techniques to weaponize their silence against me (my 7&9 year old have refused to talk to me for a month, we're in the same house). She went behind my back and did this, taught the kids to mislead and not tell me about it and when I caught her, she literally tried to shift the topic of conversation to something else and blame me for that. Took no responsibility, no I'm sorry, no here's how I'll fix it, she says that a 7&9 year old don't understand how to use boundaries and that I should just leave them alone and let them have the space they need. If they need a month, a year, 10 years, whatever, that's what they need. Imagine telling the father of your children that he has no rights, no authority, no ability to impact and parent their children, she's in complete control.
Married' for 26 yrs, I can relate. We both suffered childhood sexual abuse, but his was far worse, he's borderline with malignant narcissism. We were both toxic to each other and when he left once more a year ago, I was finally able to breathe. He's moved on in the company of a people pleaser, who doesn't have any idea about his personality disorder and I don't know how it's going to end. I wish I had the help earlier to deal with my inner wounds to be able to deal with his toxic personality. Now I'm trauma bonded and at a complete loss
Money is what keeps me away from treatment but my child is the reason I'm watching this video right now. Don't want my child to suffer the consequences of my decisions in life
You aren’t a narcissist. Narcissist don’t care about anyone including their children.
A child is among the best motivators for change. I'm a fairly high empathy, but extremely independent person with strong boundaries. When a covert narcissist entered our life, he was extremely caring of my son, so I liked having him around, even as his behaviour with me deteriorated. I never succumbed, but simply kept losing what I could expect from the relationship till we were mostly roommates. I felt hurt when he hurt me, but I bounced back with stronger boundaries. I knew he had issues, but I accepted him for the good and shrugged off the bad bits. Not like I see here on youtube. I didn't chase after him or lived in hurt, etc. I had my own life, my own interests, he had moved into my home, I controlled household finances.... He never really controlled me, though in hindsight he did try several times. I guess I just naturally had robust boundaries and was comfortable refusing what I wasn't comfortable doing. At the same time I saw his vulnerability and need for acceptance and belonging and was fine if he found it in my home, as long as his presence enriched the child's life. Mine, at least doesn't hurt children - they don't make him feel threatened. He did hurt me badly, and naturally I felt hurt, but it didn't build into a pattern, because I knew I couldn't expect better of him. He remained fantastic with kid. Finally when he hurt me one time too many, I set my foot down and told him his time here was limited if he did not change. He bailed. I could have tried to mend fences - he probably expected it, but then I realized his symptoms were bulls eye for narcissism, and burned bridges. No narcissist around my kid unless he is committed to changing. For myself, given that I wasn't codependent and mostly ignored him and went about my own life? I'd have let him stay indefinitely. His behaviour too hurt me less and less as it went on and on. Many things I let slide for myself became hard boundaries because of kid. And in that being non-negotiable, the presence of the child saved me too from unnecessary hurt. No therapist involved. I am fine. Kid is fine. Narcissist is out. Your child won't suffer, because you won't let him/her suffer. When it is hard to assume authority and make hard choices for ourselves, we do that easily for our children.
That’s me as well
Proverbs31 10 it’s a spectrum a complex spectrum
@@Vidyut_Gore Thank you for your comment re children. My situation is very similar. Only now we have an 8wk son and I feel legally bound to him. He filled out birth certificate online and "cut & pasted" my signature on it. I never even got to look at it. He is not only unable but unwilling to provide, and because he lived with his parents so long, at age 39 he has no idea of cost of living. I am in Australia. I feel physically sick every day he is here. I want him to go, even though it would make things even more difficult financially. He saw an opportunity to get out of his parents house and took it. His "Christian" parents pushed and pressured, not considering me or my daughter at all. 6wks after our wedding I was pregnant. His mother said to me "I knew it would be hard on you". I felt like saying well why the #### did you pressure us into marriage? I now know the answer. Worst part is, I feel like I've totally ripped off my first child. 💔💔💔
I started therapy as a result of situational depression. In the course of 2 months, it became apparent I was operating from a place of co-dependency. Needless to say, once I started working on that ... and strengthening my boundaries and sense of self, it enraged my NPD partner. Natural end to an unnatural relationship. So grateful for the wake up call.
This is my story of being engaged to a narcissist and then "left at the alter" kzhead.info/sun/lcqQpMOJo3mifac/bejne.html It was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life, but also one of the best things that ever happened to me NOT to marry him!
My husband and I have been married for 32 years and he now admits he's a Narcissist and on top of that he's Bipolar too. And he's only getting worse. But through prayer and meditation on my part, I'm learning how to deal with it and live on with him. But it's extremely stressful at times and I do not want to take any meds whatsoever so I'm trying to educate myself on all this so that I can hold on to the little bit of joy I still have in me. But like I said it's not easy! I feel like I'm walking on eggshells when I'm with him. I have to watch what I say, how I respond, react and hates when I sigh and so on and so on. I'm exhausted 😫 I just feel like there's no end to this. So I'm praying for a miracle and patiently waiting.
suspected my husband always texting a lady on his phone , We’ve been married for 18 years, we’ve both been happy together until recently when he switched side and I found out he has been cheating .I explained my story to a colleague at work then she introduced me to this genuine hacker, Darkwebprohacker who gave me access to his phone , I had complete access to his phone right on my own device and I could see all his activities for the past 2 years and also have access to new notifications, his text messages, Facebook messages,location, call logs, and I found out my husband was also flirting on dating sites..I love my husband a lot and I still don’t understand why he betrayed me, I have been a good hardworking wife and never for once cheated on him. I tracked him down and found out he was always going to sleep in another woman’s house with me thinking my husband is always at work for night shift. You can contact this great hacker who helped me found out the truth about my husband at darkwebprohack(at)gmail com or Whats app +19087998357 or text and call them directly on the same number.They helped me get access into his phone without even touching his phone.I have enough evidence against my husband and I am thinking of Filing for divorce.I want advice if I should give him another chance or let go ? We have 2 kids together it's a painful feeling but I believe things happen in life it comes as it goes, as it says what doesn't kills makes you stronger
are you in search of a spell caster? i found a legit source recently and he asked me a few questions and immediately i get my love back! i was fucking shocked,but was nervous at first cos i’ve never tried such tho. +1 (413) 685-0377 text him directly on both cell phone or Whatsapp
You and I both, dear. Truly praying for a miracle
I tend to attract these self-serving people, they are takers, I feel used and so true as a child I was the server of my parents.
Noticing the pattern can help you change it. I wish you well.
@@DrDanielFox I have began noticing already for example guys who have trauma bond the moment they read my on line profile they vote me as their "Favorite" although they dont even know me. Which teaches me that if they began by "Idealisation" the next phase will probably be "devaluation" because why is someone you dont know never even meet your "Favorite"? And you know the rest of the story, he will discard me because I am just an imperfect human no one is "perfect" most of us arent all bad neither all good. But these videos are very helpful in a sense they teach me about human nature and also easy my broken heart. Thank you so much!
Me too! I'm recognizing it sooner and cutting ties.
@@sarahvministry very smart
Fall inlove with the father in heaven. He is genuinely loving to us when we are his children. God is A spirit of love & love denies itself. God is the good shepherd who lays his life down for his sheep. He proved it on the cross & Jesus(God in the flesh) said while being tortured & killed by his people, forgive them father, 4 they know not what they do. God never lost sight of his love 4 U & he loves U so much & takes no account of the wrong you have done to him. He paid 4 your forgiveness. Just run into his arms!🤗❤🤝🙌👸🤴🌄🏰
I can tell you that once you grow you’re standards and address your codependency issues everything will change.
Amen! To that.
True
He’s my dad
@@tiaho-whetuford5338 You need therapy ASAP. A narcissistic parenthood drag on a lot of chaos in several other life aspects. The earlier you cope with it, the faster you literally save your life.
Leila, it has been a year since you posted this. How is that working out? I am very curious and would like to know more about this as I try to continue my journey with my narcissistic spouse.
Thank you, it’s one of the few videos that doesn’t make me feel inferior, stupid for not wanting to leave my husband. Thank you again.
Have always believed in love to cure many things but it only fed my narc’s enormous ego. it is important to be wise when dealing with a narcissist and I’m glad that darkwebprohack helped cloned my husband’s phone. i got access to her dealings both on phone and social media without touching her phone,I’m here in Miami Florida USA and able to access my husband’s phone with a cloned app even while his was away in the UK cheating on me.All I did was share my husband’s phone number with darkwebprohack and I was able to read both his new and deleted messages from my phone through a remote link to a programmed app containing cloned cell information without having to touch his phone...my wife was a cheating Narcissist and I’m glad to find out all his secrets and infidelity with the help of darkwebprohack. My husband also tried to use this coronavirus outbreak as a means to get back to me but I’m not stupid to allow someone so toxic back into my life, I’m finally going through divorce with a lot of evidence against him. i read all deleted and chat on Whatsapp,Facebook,Instagram and GPS location of his phone at all times, you can contact the great hacker via Gmail (darkwebprohack) or text and speak to him directly on the phone and WhatsApp +17076225057 and I hope you will fund the peace with your heart after finding the truth just like myself
This is my story of being engaged to a narcissist and then "left at the alter" kzhead.info/sun/lcqQpMOJo3mifac/bejne.html It was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life, but also one of the best things that ever happened to me NOT to marry him!
Please tell me how its going
I’m married to one as well
I have been told I am an empath. He is a narcisist. I am always in pain. It is not a healthy combination. But we do love each other. But its difficult and painful and most of my marriage I feel lonely. But I do not want to leave, because I do love him. I loved him for a long time before I actually understood he was narcisistic, so running away does not feel the right thing to do, just because I can put a title on it now. But it is a very difficult relationship for ME. I hope to find a way to live with it and have a peaceful future. Its so hard though. Sometimes I just say I am sorry, when its him that should be apologising . But I just want a peaceful life. I am 18 years into the relationship. Thats a huge investment. I just want peace.
Janet Gordon omg u just describe my life 😢 what do we do?!?!?!?
Praying for you 🙏🙏
I’m living the same life you are... you articulated my very existence and the enormous amount of energy it takes to remain in the relationship... needs unmet, being overlooked, insulted... having your flaws amplified and used to hurt you... gaslighting causing self doubt... and then there are the children.... and the quintessential question as to how can one even evaluate if it’s Possible to love a narc. I am starting to believe that I’m in love with the painted illusion that never panned out... and being empathic and never giving up... well,that’s what keeps me in the game thinking it’s love....
Choose for yourself first... no Matter how long the relationship. You can’t put your needs constantly secondary. What should somebody want out of their loving partner ? Living fulfilled and happy
@@faridawadi6364I am having same problem i m depressed
first step, cut ties, permanently the second step is, that you make sure that you live in distinct cities and social circles cut ties with everybody that are in merged circles the third step is: don't contact anyone like this ever again
Smartness is important in a relationship and cyberhackinggenius helped cloned my husband’s phone and I got access to all his dealings both on phone and social media without touching his phone. All I did was share my husband’s phone number with cyberhackinggenius and I was able to read both his new and deleted messages from my phone without having to touch his phone. My husband was a cheating Narcissist and I’m glad to find out all his secrets and infidelity with the help of cyberhackinggenius. I’m here in UK and able to access my husband’s phone messages with a link on my phone even while he was away in Canada cheating on me. I got to discover that my husband who is legally married to me here in UK is also recently married to another woman in Canada and I’m finally going through a divorce with lots of evidence against him. I read all his Whatsapp, Facebook,Skype,Instagram and Snapchat messages Including the deleted text and recent messages. You can contact this great Hacker Gavin via Gmail (cyberhackinggenius) or text and speak to him directly on his phone and WhatsApp : +19256795146 and don’t forget to thank me later.
Wow
@@emokiriemiabednegoabed2844 play with him... If you have access to his phone
What if you're married and have an 8wk old son? I feel I was pressured into marriage by his "Christian" parents before knowing him 12mths. Their motivation was to get him out of their house. Did not consider me and certainly not my daughter. She is now 5 and a half, in Prep and keen learner. I have not been able to put time into her as I am always with baby. I did not even get say in our son's name ; he filled out birth certificate online and cut & pasted my signature. Moved into my house and owns nothing except unregistered car and music equipment. I am now legally dependent on someone to provide for us who is not only incapable but unwilling to provide. I feel physically sick about it. I had worked so hard to protect what I had created for myself and daughter. I was diagnosed Aspergers at age 33 and prescribed dexamphetamine. I have been off this medication 12mths. In hindsight, I don't think it was right for me. I made a decision that is not easy to get out of. Can someone offer some advice please? I feel like I ruined not only my life, but my daughters as well. He is also a compulsive liar which I am not prepared to live with. I would like him to leave but he has nowhere to go. My mother despises him. I wish someone had said it's too soon to get married. I knew it in my heart but was not coherent in my mind.
Amen to that. You are trapped, especially when your income is below average, years pass and you stay in that abuse then at some point you no longer like yourself. You believe that it must be all your fault because of so much gaslighting and your inner soul is dark.
Dr. Fox, It costs 160.00 per hour to see a psychologist. Then to be asked to purchsse the book co dependant no more ..... KZhead is a Godsend and you are very generous to offer your help here for free... Thank you
.... It cost 350-500nzd in Auckland... 😖😖😖
@@youraphrodisiac.895 Oh gosh !
check out KZhead surviving narcissism with dr les carter
Listening today again I cannot wait for more imagine how much people are missing out on you are spot on in my opinion. I so hope and pray more people find out about your channel.
I was dumped in hospital he showed off his new girlfriend to me like it was the most natural thing in the world. I think the person I loved disappeared long ago.
I am terribly sorry for what you are going through Linda. Don't let anything break you. You should begin starting to care and love yourself as much as you want to love someone else. Hope you find the courage in this unfortunate time.
Or he was never even real. Narcs are so fake!!! You prob met and lived a fake as shit person:/ be thankful he’s gone!! Good riddance to bad rubbish.
The person YOU loved was never real. You were in love with his image. You were the only on who really knows how to love!
This is my story of being engaged to a narcissist and then "left at the alter" kzhead.info/sun/lcqQpMOJo3mifac/bejne.html It was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life, but also one of the best things that ever happened to me NOT to marry him!
I met someone who abuses and manupilate in the name of love.he give silent treatment and want me to beg.trying to forget all those bad incidents.hard as they are so addictive .
I'm also dealing with the same kind of guy ..
I divorced my husband of 16yrs, always blaming me for his short falls
It's their victims that change they wake up and realise they are getting nothing from their lives with a narcissist
Yes!! This is my story of being engaged to a narcissist and then "left at the alter" kzhead.info/sun/lcqQpMOJo3mifac/bejne.html It was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life, but also one of the best things that ever happened to me NOT to marry him!
This doesn't help the Narccisistic person. It helps other normal people avoid them
Lól right thanks world!
I wish people would notice that not all narcissists are abusive and crazy and we’re people too.
This is my story of being engaged to a narcissist and then "left at the alter" kzhead.info/sun/lcqQpMOJo3mifac/bejne.html It was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life, but also one of the best things that ever happened to me NOT to marry him!
Thank you Dr Fox for these videos. They are extremely helpful to me and others. They should teach some of these things in school. So much grief would be stopped
Thanks so much. I just found your videos and they're exactly what I need right now...Hope. Thank you.
I left. He was not gonna change. I fried the day I made the decision - not over the relationship ending but how foolish that I had been hoping for a change. 30 yrs I spent with that man because we had children and I did not want them from a broken home. I have harmed the children. I have apologized to my daughters and have asked them to be aware and hopefully they can break the cycle. I was a stay at home mother. I went back to work when my last child went off to school. I have been on my own now for four years. Recovering and trying to make sense of my life. I came across a video one day and then I started doing research. I know that I cannot diagnose him but I am certain that he is a vulnerable narcissist from what I have seen and read and the thirty years of living with him and the patterns of behaviour
I am in this situation right now. I feel stuck. I’m seeing a therapist and have made progress. The Covid19 situation has me feeling even more stuck in gaining income so I can leave.
I too spent almost 30 years with a covert Narcissist with passive aggressive traits children . . .after a couple of women I finally had enough . . .getting a lot of help from videos Dr Les Carter KZhead surviving narcissism check him out too there is hope . . .and I am so much better today
Yes, thank u, Dr. Fox for helping people for free. This is invaluable information for hurting people who truly need it. May God richly bless u!
I was adopted and was the scapegoat of the family of 5 children. My narc mother used triangulation between myself, my sister (her blood) who is disabled and herself. People used to say I was beautiful looking which caused my sister and mother's jealousy. My mother would do things like put me down so my sister could see and my sister's delight would be the payoff for my mother. She would give her all the pretty things. Anyhow, I have realized I have an ingrained belief that I am an inferior female and it is this pathway that was forged before him that my narc partner uses to put me down. Having this understanding helps.
Thanks for your message.
This was very helpful. Thank you.
Great how you put down the reasoning of this question! Thanks! :)
Thank you.
Great videos and insights. Thank you very much from the other side of the planet.
Yes I've found value in the fantasy relationship and that value is videos like these presented by Dr. Fox. I've not had an explanation/definition of codependency that I completely understood until now. I'm learning a great deal about myself and the individuals that I'm attracted to and VV.
Thanks for sharing!
I wish I had asked myself these questions years ago
It's never too late. I wish you well.
Totally agree
Me too, so here is a question, what dynamic are we entering into if we empaths who were hurt by a narc, enter into a relationship with another empath who has been likewise hurt.. I’m constantly feeling this would be the perfect relationship since we can relate but then does it bring us into something that is codependent of a codependent of a codependent and yada yada there’s only so many years to figure this out now I’ve managed to make the age of 56 wasted 10 years with my narc when do we just throw up the stuff in the air and say the hell with it let’s just go with what love is supposed to be?
@@gregbeaumont5554 I also think about this but I realize now that we are attracted to these narcissists and toxic people for a reason. Think about all of those people we considered boring or just not interesting enough, I wonder if those people are the empaths. We have to really work hard on ourselves if we want to be attracted to those healthy people.
My partner is a narcissist. It took me the 3 years that we have been together to finally figure out what was wrong. We love each other very much, and he does not realize how much pain he causes me emotionally. He has a team of "flying monkeys" (narc cheerleaders) who put him on a pedestal. He is also extremely charming and charismatic so as a result has lots of friends. That being said, he often gas lights, and I can never have my own opinion or perception on a situation. He also deliberately tries to make me jealous of other women. He makes crude jokes about my body that make me just about want to cry.
That's what they do. I don't know if I will be with my narc it took for him to go to jail for me to actually see the light. If it is love I don't want this kind of love we can be the prettiest riches freakiest woman they can ever have they will definitely always have something to down u about everything I been finding out I reclaimed my life for now. Im.not really talking to him much n he is starting to apologize I don't believe it at all. He needs a source n believe me he probably plotting on ways to punish me lol I'm a a new level love or not a person do what we let them do bad to us. I'm done being the main supply and ms B I'm done
All thanks to Dr aguiyi for helping get my ex back and help me solve my problem to get a spell caster Email him directly at aguiyispellcaster@gmail.com or WhatsApp him on +2348151642717.
They don't know how to love! U can do better! Love doesn't feel this way! Trust me! I wish u the best and hope u find a way to escape this situation! Life can be so much better!
I was married for 11 years, not even knowing that my husband's harmful behavior had a name... For various reasons, I couldn't leave this relationship and I suffered in silence, and cried every single night just trying to stay sane despite the frequent blow-ups and humiliating words he thrown at me, and trying to keep our child away from all that. When I finally found out that was a condition called narcissism, I was devastated, on the verge of severe depression. I saw no future ahead of us, because people just don't change, do they...? Nor the narcissists are willing to admit anything or undergo any therapy. But today, a year after I found out there was absolutely no hope,...I can say I am a happy woman, and my husband (the very same husband, who nearly 'killed' our family life) is a dear, loving and caring, very sweet and funny man. He's become a wonderful companion, he learns to be more and more patient and keeps fixing everything that was broken in our life due to his past behavior. Sounds unbelievable, doesn't it? But it really happened. I am a living example of a classical narcissist's victim who was saved and healed. How did it happen? My husband's heart was touched and changed completely by the unbelievable mercy and love of Jesus Christ, because our family and friends kept praying for us, not even knowing all the horrible details of his behavior. The power of Jesus is real - He can have an incredible influence on your life if you invite Him to your heart. He does love us so much... I will underestimate the power of prayer never again. Dear soul, whoever you are reading this - if you struggle with a narcissistic abuse in your family, or any other personal tragedy, of course go search for help and therapies, but also open your own heart and find a congregation where people can support you and pray together with you to the Lord. Trust His promise: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11,28) "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." (John 3,16) God bless you!
THANK YOU! THANK YOU FOR THIS! This message was entirely for me. I have been dealing with anxiety this whole week along with digestive issues & have been praying to God every day to help me & heal me. I have a boyfriend who shows narcissistic traits but I never pinpointed it until right now that he's probably dealing with a personality disorder. He has always said to me he wants to change but he can't & I never realized there's probably something more to it. It has been super hard to the point I said I needed space because our relationship is causing my mental state to go down but I know how bad mental issues can be, I know he can change if he seeks Jesus. I want to show him the right path because people associate being a narcissist that they are evil when they are not. They have a mental disorder & need help. Thank you because the power of prayer is SO POWERFUL!!!!! I don't know how I came across your message but thank you. God has been helping me this whole week & I know Jesus will heal my boyfriend's heart. God bless you & your family!!!!
@@user-lv3pf2wz4d I'm so happy to hear that! Now I understand why for the whole past week I felt such a strong need to write that :)) I was very busy and kept forgetting to do it, but every evening I felt I had to write this comment under some random Narcissist-related videos. Keep the faith, Jesus loves you both very much and is able to change EVERY heart. I will pray for you too :)
You are stronger then your current pain, tears that contain a tsunami of suffering, call for an emotional life raft, and use of your souls inner GPS resilience! Here are some mind flotation devices that offer a beacon of healing, safety and guidance. Dr Joe Dispensa, ,Dr Bruce Lipton, Ester Hicks, Mooji , Mindvalley.com, Hayhouse.com, Gaia..com.., Transitioning beyond perceptions the past, present and future. You are on the journey of a lifetime, no matter what's happening you are here on earth because you are wanted, needed and have unique gifts to share with all you love and with he entire world. If you are breathing right now, you are a miracle, like the hummingbird, jaguar or blue whale, you have a spark of divinity. A beautiful spiritual creature experiencing this physical life as this soul , at this particular time, There is pure peace and love waiting right inside you in your breath. The Sun and all the gods of all religions on our planet shine down upon believers, all U- Man-beings hold the light in their Mind, Hands and Heart. ( its flicking the damn thing on is the B***ch)
My narc husband even talks about God when it serves him!! They are just broken and want others to break too... Traumas have to be adressed in therapy, and they just don't recognise they are not ok. They feed from creating drama and suffering. They should be in an hospital.
Thank u DB wow praise God I have been struggling for 15 years, with my partner, I've lost all hope but reading your comment just a Godsend, thank u, God bless🙏
Great content. Thank you
I’m glad you found this video helpful.
There's an island called Narcissistic Island where all narcissists go to live, forever. This is the dream.
Thank you, I watch all your videos....
So nice of you. Glad they’re helpful.
Good plan in theory. My only problem is that my narcissist is also uneducated and redefines every agreement I attempt to set as well as the most simple words. The time required to "prove" those agreements work and have benefits is the exact thing that is necessary for him to stall enough to twist the expectations and make me seem like I'm being a "smart ass" We're gay btw idk if that makes a difference.
It's word salad! They just spit out a bunch of random words that make no sence or they PROJECT their own bullshit onto u like that's what u are guilty of! I know it's hard to wrap your head around! I find myself repeating myself and dumming it down for my husband daily.....for over 9 years now so I highly doubt there's any hope and I'd suggest getting on w your life before he completely destroys your mental health! Trust me I'm very head strong and it's more than I can take! I feel like I'm looking my damn mind! Which is a real thing too...(cognitive disodance, which happens after you've been in these high conflict relationships for a long time and your constantly dealing w the drama and nonstop uncertainty)... Sorry u are dealing w this but do what's best for u! I wish u the best of luck!
First, I want to give major props to those who have narcissism for getting help with it, and please don't confuse my personal experience as me saying ALL are like the severity level I'm about to mention while keeping it as generalized as I can. WOW, you're spot-on. I'm still too terrified to discuss it on a forum due to the severity of it was bc of extreme stalking and other VERY disturbing behaviors that I'd only seen in movies. I had NO CLUE at the beginning. Thanks for understanding -- it means a lot.
Neglect, verbal abuse, constant dissatisfaction, followed by fly by love bombs. Lack of peace love harmony.
The guy I’m talking to seemed very genuine and that’s how i fell in love with him he said his wife cheated on him and she left kind of disappeared on him for a while and that’s why he hadn’t gotten a divorce because he couldn’t get a hold of her but they are separated so I decided to continue talking to him he told everyone he had a 4 yr old daughter who died in a car crash but I found his wife’s fb and turns out the “dead daughter” is very much alive and not even his biological daughter it’s just his step daughter and I caught him texting other girls and he Denys it even when I show him the evidence of it he was in the military he claims he has diagnosed depression/ anxiety /PTSD& adhd but I’m sure adhd wouldn’t make you lie to the extent he has I’m so confused to what he has because it sounds like he has both narcissism and bpd or im confused because he can apologize but he blames me for it so it’s like ??? His lies sound so honest lol he blocked me everywhere except on a game we play and he sends me gifts on the game and I’m sure it’s to get my attention the reason he blocked me was because I told him I know all the truth (I told him I know his daughter doesn’t exist) he never replied but he still sends me gifts on the game I send them back to him because I’m not mad at him for being sick with this mental illness if he has it but I wanna see what he has to say (I told him I wouldn’t question him) but idk
All thanks to Dr aguiyi for helping get my ex back and help me solve my problem to get a spell caster Email him directly at aguiyispellcaster@gmail.com or WhatsApp him on +2348151642717.
Give it up you'll never get closure. Trust me! It's only hurting yourself when u stay in contact! I know bc I try to be cordial and fair and understanding and hear him out but he plays dumb like it's all good and SAYS word that don't align w actions and it's physically and mentally and emotionally EXHAUSTING! THESE PPL DONT THINK THE WAY WE DO! THEY CANT SER THINGS FROM YOUR PERSPECTIVE! U ARE ONLY HERE FOR THEIR PLEASURE! THEY ESSENTIALLY DONT EVEN SEE US AS OUR OWN BEINGS! ITS MIND BOGGLING BUT DONT TRY TO UNDERSTAND IT! ITS ABUSIVE AND ANYONE WHO ABUSES U DOESNT NEED A PLACE IN YOUR LIFE! I AM 8+ YEARS INTO A MARRIAGE THAT I HAVE LEFT AND CAME BACK TO COUNTLESS TIMES BC I ACTUALLY BELIEVED THAT HE WAS BEING SINCERE! SMFH! THERES NOTHING SINCERE ABOUT THEM! THEY ARE SINCERELY EMPTY HEARTLESS EVIL PPL WHO DO NOT CARE ABOUT ANYONE BUY THEMSELVES!
Dr. Fox, is there any more videos for this particular series?
Sounds perfect. It is the finances.
Thank you so much for these valuable pieces of understanding dr. I would like to ask a question: Can an empathic person possess the narcissistic traits passed on through childhood?
Richard Moran my understanding is that you can have some of these traits, we all possess some of the traits but the difference is the intention behind it that determines you as narcissistic. If you’re worried your the narc, and you’re watching this, then 99.9% chance you aren’t. Hope that helps
I believe so. My boyfriend is a narcissist, whose issue come from childhood trauma, and as well an empath. He cares deeply for the people and animals all over. But once his narc ways start kicking in, things get frustrating to the extreme
Kendras right Narcs dont often admit or they do but will push off that they need help or they say the psychologist or counselor might have misdiagnosed them. I had gone through this phase he said that he had to tell me in order for the tribunal to approve our marriage on what his mental health is like all the diagnosis. I was not that informed on what narcissists were it's very undefined in how to know plus his undermining the credibility of the resource it made me believe him. Except he validated that the same counselor who diagnosed him with dystemia was legit but not this part of what they said. Very strange I have learned that they will not admit it they will not agree to being a person that is cold and empty. You probably feel the traits because like me I'm left feeling some of these traits like cold and numb inside or angry and distant however it's my emotional response only in coping with it is what I realized. Coping with the reality is also maybe your own emotional reaction. If you discern your interior motivations often to make sure your pure in the deeds and thoughts you have your not a narc.
Everyone has some degree of narcissism its on a spectrum. Confidence is healthy narcissism. It's not healthy when u hurt others to feed your own ego! Thats narcissistic personality disorder. And alot of times when your parent has NPD your their "supply" so really it grooms u to be in relationships w Narcissist later in life bc u are used to serving and giving and doing for everyone but yourself and your used to the toxic relationships. It tool me ALONG TIME TO UNDERSTAND BUT IM IN THE SAME BOAT! I was raised by narcissistic mother and now married to one for 9 years! I'm just working on me and trying to find my clarity and heal so that I can move on! I know that if I've survived all the crap these ppl have put in my life I can do it and I WILL! U CAN TOO! GOOD LUCK! WISH U THE BEST! KEEP YOUR HEAD UP ITS NOT YOUR FAULT AND NOW U HAVE TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO GUARD YOURSELF FROM BEING SUCKED IN BY THESE PPL!
I am tired of ruining these beautiful souls that come into my life. I need to fix or get a handle on this disorder.
Insight is a powerful thing. Use it to learn about yourself and to build adaptive strategies to help yourself. Be well.
Thank you so much for this video. I found this to be very helpful. I love my husband more than anything after 18 years of "on and off agains" and am still going strong today trying to find common ground so that our family can have peace and everyone be truly happy. I spend so much time pretending to be happy and I just hope that I can learn to help him for our happily ever after.
This is exactly me. Its so difficult
You can’t change others so I changed myself. I am mindful that you can’t win a fight with a narc. I keep my answers short if I respond at all. Made the mistake of marital therapy and the therapist fell for her victim mentality.
I think utilizing that insight to create change for yourself that is not contingent upon others is critical. Thank you very much for your comment and I wish you all the best.
When we argue he get our kids on his side he has made it so I have no friends or noone to talk to he has become worse since I got a promotion that is why I started doing research I started to really think it was me cuz he makes up these stories to his friends and family and they get to see the best of him and I get the mean angry bully now I need to figure out what's next to find myself again
@@melissaburns8645 triangulation my wife used to do this.she would tell the kids dad's in a mood when it was she that had the mood. As they grew out of adolescence ( I never said a word) my kids talked to me privately saying Dad "mom is a narcissist" . I am a retired psychologist. I said your correct.
Thank you. QUESTIONS: 1) Is there an age limit for such a therapy? 2) Do you think a therapy can bring something to the wife of a narcissist with 88 years of age, suffering from her husband with narcissistic personality disorder and 90 years of age?
I could sure use some honest advice and feedback. Long story short, I have been married to someone who has narcissistic traits. About 2 months ago we attended our 19th marriage counseling session together. At that session I told my wife that somehow our marriage needs to drastically get better quickly, or I feel we need pull the plug and end our marriage since we have been going to marriage counseling for far longer than we probably should have been going; and not much, if anything, has improved. Part of me was hopeful that this was going to be the warning shot and my wife would finally hear me; that she would finally understand that I am done with the narcissistic type of behavior, done with the mean comments, the high level of control, and being made out to feel like I am never doing the right thing, never doing it quickly enough, etc. Unfortunately, the few weeks after that counselling sessions things did not improve, they actually seemed worse. For example, one morning I started her car so it was warm for her when she left for work (which I do for her quite often). I wasn’t looking for a pat on the back, but she very rudely said “oh, thank you so much for everything you do”. One day I went and bought a shovel and salt and cleaned the ice from the sidewalk. Instead of getting any type of thanks or appreciation, she told me that it is so interesting that I had time to go to Dollar General (which is about 3 miles from our house) and buy a new shovel and salt. I got criticized for doing laundry and putting in on ‘her side’ of the bed and not having it moved off of the bed so she could lay down at night without having to touch laundry. I got criticized for having the space heater on in the living room. I got criticized for eating all the lasagna; when in fact I put it in a Tupperware container so she could take it in her lunch. I got questioned on going for a walk along the river. It was just relentless verbal attacks. By no means am I a perfect husband, I am far from it, and I have made plenty of mistakes, but I have always tried to be loving and supportive and take care of her and our kids. I have dealt with this type of narcissistic behavior for a very long time. Just another example, I recently learned why I was in severe pain for a couple of days this past summer; I was passing a 6mm kidney stone. While I was in pain, I got in a hot bath to try and alleviate some of the pain. I recall vividly her making a mean comment that I was in the bath while she was doing something for the kids. I have agonized over the decision for many months, and probably years now, but about 5 weeks ago I asked for divorce and have been moved out since that time. She said it wasn’t fair and that I blindsided her, even though we have attended those 19 marriage counseling sessions together; I reluctantly agreed to separation for now. For the last five weeks, I have been buried in loving texts, pictures of our kids and of some fun memories in the past, she sent me the wedding song that we danced too, she has been sending me quotes from the bible, she asked that I listen to various books on making marriages work, etc; she asked that I meet with our Deacon at church and attend a church marriage weekend retreat. She has buried me in a variety of ‘tactics’ to try and get me back home; she has thrown our vows in my face multiple times and said that I am destroying the kids by moving out. I have been holding strong and have not caved by moving back in; recently she has been all over the board with her comments and emotions. Seems silly talking about, but we own a car and a truck. For the last 5 weeks I have drove the truck and she has had the car. A couple of days ago she said she wants the truck, which is no problem, but I asked her why; she said she doesn’t need to answer why, she just wants it. She said she plans on keeping the truck for a few weeks since its not fair that I got to drive it for a few weeks (I don’t know the intentions of this, other than some form of power play, or maybe knowing if she has the truck, I won’t be able to use it to do things I enjoy). She also seems to be getting controlling with the kids; she told me that I am the one who decided to leave them, so its not fair for me to ever get both of our kids overnight while she is alone, since she didn’t decide to leave. I reminded her that I didn’t leave the kids, that I only left her. Shortly after making these types of comments, she follows up with a load of very nice loving texts. This is all extremely hard for me, because she occasionally acts nice and says she is willing to try and change, but seems all over the place with her comments and emotions; I’m afraid I will fall back into the trap. I worry greatly about our kids, I feel she is subjecting them to a ton of sadness and possibly emotional manipulation, with the intentions being of playing the victim card in front of the kids and trying to make them feel bad for her and make me out to look like the bad guy (she told me she is always crying in front of the kids…and even yesterday when I saw her she cried multiple times in front of the kids). Even though I asked for divorce, I still do not wish her unhappiness; I just want everyone to get along and be nice and supportive with everyone. To make matters even more frustrating, yesterday she told me she was offered a job in Michigan (about 5 hours from where we currently live in Ohio). I am settled here in Ohio now, have a good job here, etc. I am happy for her that she was offered the job, I know that is more what she wants to do versus her current job, so that part makes me happy; but come on, wanting to relocate now while we are separated. I feel like she is doing everything she can to try and make things difficult for me, especially with our 2 kids. Random place to insert this comment….but I just thought it was odd; she claims to want the marriage to work, but considering uprooting to Michigan. I manage all of our finances, yesterday she said she wants all of our bank account log in information. Which is fine, no problem, it is both of our money; I just thought it was a little odd. Not sure the intentions behind it. Maybe just wanting to see how much is there, if I have been taking any, what I have spent money on; who knows?! Any words of advice would be greatly appreciated.
Omg....you sound like a wonderful person and I'm sorry that you are having to deal with this ABUSIVE BS! KEEP RECORD OF ALL COMMUNICATION BETWEEN YALL AND WRITE DOWN ANY OF THE WEIRD THINGS SHES DOING AROUND THE KIDS OR ANYTHING THEY TELL U! THIS IS FOR SURE A TEXTBOOK NARCISSIST BUT ITS GOING TO BE HELL DOVORCING HER AND SHE IS GOING TO MAKE YOUR LIFE HELL! THAT IS WHAT THEY DO! AND ITS SAD BUT MY HUSBAND DOES THE SAME SHIT AND IVE BEEN DEALING W IT FOR 9 YEARS NOW! EVERYTIME IVE LEFT HE CUT OFF ALL FINANCES AND I AM A STAY AT HOME MOTHER ALTHOUGH I MANAGE OUR RENTAL PROPERTIES AND HAVE GOTTEN SEVERAL PART TIME JOBS WHICH HE MADE ME QUIT (bc it took away from what I do for the family, & he can support us financially). Yet EVERYTIME he gets mad about something it's ALL HIS," I do nothing and I'm such a LEACH, I can get out of HIS house and pay my own bills". I mean WOW! ITS INSANITY! I UNDERSTAND WHERE U ARE COMING FROM W DEALING W SOMEONE WHO IS IMPOSSIBLE, yet still wanting the best for them! It's called EMPATHY AND COMPASSION! Some ppl just don't have those traits and we have to face that REALITY! I have left so many times...started getting my life back and he will literally beg me to come back, swear he understands why I left and how he needs to change bc I deserve better. He will start counciling, put my name on bank accts and start acting NORMAL just long enough for me to think he's sincere and BOOM! I move back in and he gets me right back stuck and then he's right back to his crap! I'm at the point that I hide it from the ppl I know bc I'm so ashamed that I put up w his shit! I know I can do better and I feel dumb for coming back and I don't want to need help to leave but I don't even know where to go from here at this point! It's hard! I'd say watch some videos about divorcing a narcissist and stay strong! If you already have an attorney...I'd make sure they are familiar w high conflict divorces bc this will not be a normal divorce! I just know that this is not the lifestyle that God has in store for me and I don't think that he wants us to suffer! I know that it's tough but marriages are reciprocal and it's not supposed to be a mind game all the time! I wish u the best and hope that you get thru this BATTLE and get to the otherside and are able to live your best life! You deserve to be happy and hopefully your (ex) will find her own happiness or atleast not destroy your kids trying to get back at u! U are not alone in dealing w this crap and watching videos and reading comments helps me remember the same! God Bless!
@@amandatraver906 Hi Amanda, thank you so much for the response. I'm sorry you are going through this as well, it is brutal. I don't know why I struggle with it and still haven't divorced, I don't know what I am afraid of. For me, its not the financial side, although I'm sure it would be costly; so just trying to understand the struggles I am going through. It is just relentless, I got frustrated with her a couple of days ago because I said I have asked her nicely for 'time and space' and it seems like she refuses to give it to me. I'm trying to go about this in the nicest most loving way possible. It is interesting to hear your story that you've tried going back and giving it another chance, but it ended up being the same as it always was. Thanks again for sharing your story with me....
Good Morning, to piggy-back off my original post; I have a follow-on question to ask of everyone. Is there anyone who has been in a similar situation as mine, where you have chosen to take the big step of asking for divorce or separation, but instead ultimately decided to go ahead and give your marriage another try? If so, are you glad you did? Or, if you held your ground and filed for divorce, were you happy with the decision or did you have regrets? Really trying to figure things out and proceed the best way possible. Any thoughts or advice is greatly appreciated.
I have often wondered if I am truly ‘hearing’ my wife correctly, or if I am being too sensitive and putting too much weight on her tone, body language, or comments. I recently decided to record some conversations we have had. Here is a text message I sent her this past Thursday: “Just sharing my feelings….as I sit here and think about this weekend, it was really an unfair thing for you to do; I understand it is spring break, but you just scheduled this camping trip and decided to take the boys over a holiday weekend to spend time with your parents and sisters family. If I told you I was taking the boys tomorrow to go on a trip with my parents, and we will be back on Monday, I’m not sure you would be too happy with it. So, if I want to help the boys celebrate your birthday on Saturday, and if I want to see them on Easter, I am now forced to drive and hour and a half to your campsite and spend time hanging out with your parents, as well as your sister and her kids; knowing that really isn’t an enjoyable thing for me. It just really puts me in a tough spot. Not to mention you now having an interview in northwest Ohio, as well as the interview in Michigan, without ever talking with me about it. If I said I am moving 3-5 hours away and would like to bring the boys, not sure how accepting you would be of that. I always try to be very nice and understanding and just go with the flow, but often at my own detriment. I’m happy the boys are excited to go camping this weekend; I’m just not sure how fair it was for me.” Just to add some clarity, this past weekend (Easter weekend), she decided she was going to take our two boys on a camping trip with her parents and her sister and her kids. I have an audio recording of our conversation, which was very short because we got interrupted by our son, but couldn’t figure out how to attach it to this message (I’m not sure you can). Here response to my text was: “You are not going to unload a text on me, then not discuss it. You made me cry. Why do you try and make me feel bad and bring me down. I have asked you and I discussed the trip with you, and its not fair.” Our son interrupted the conversation, at this point, so I started attending to him. Personally, I thought my text was very nice and fair, but somehow, she took it as me unloading on her and trying to make her feel bad. I just don’t understand. Another example, about 6 days ago I was talking to her about how our son’s braces are scratching his cheek. I said I would take time off of work to get him into the orthodontist for an adjustment. During this conversation, she was lying in bed, I asked her how her most recent doctor’s appointment went regarding a bruise she had on the back of her leg. She started crying and said hopefully she is dying. She said she has nobody to share things anymore with me being gone. The last few days she has been nice….it is such a roller coaster ride and makes things so confusing and hard to make a final decision on whether to divorce or give it another try. I can honestly say, I feel I do love my wife and care about her, but not in love with her, nor physically attracted to her; just trying to go about this in the most loving, caring, and supportive way; and to be certain I am making the best decision and having the least impact on the kids.
I believe I may have figured out how to convert audio recordings into video. Here are just a few audio recordings; I hope I did this properly so you are able to listen to them. I am very anxious to get anyone's feedback on these audio recordings. Please give your honest opinion and advice, if you feel like doing so. I am trying to navigate these waters the best I can and want to make sure I am going about this properly. If the links don't work, please let me know that too. Thanks again for all of the help, I really appreciate it. kzhead.info/sun/hdaxqL5tnapugWg/bejne.html kzhead.info/sun/mMufn6eFq4B-qoU/bejne.html kzhead.info/sun/YK2Je8Ohe5uiraM/bejne.html
We have had an unhealthy relationship from Pre marriage. He was abusive and it was the classic crazy cycle. I finally had enough. I’m focused on me. I was neglected as a child and have C Ptsd. I’m working on getting healing for me. I guess if he wants marriage counseling he’ll set some up. In the mean time it’s lonesome. But I’m building myself a support network of friends healers counselors. Praying it will get me through. Therapy for my trauma starts next week. 🙏🏼💕
my dear If you want help to make him change
Message me on WhatsApp..
+1:914:206:4085
And I will direct you to someone who can help you make him change
Thank you, greating from Hamburg, Germany!!!!!!!!!!
I've just thrown my partner out. He never looked after me abuse the police losing my job as a nurse the list goes on
Was part 2 ever posted? Can’t find it :/
Been almost 3 years and i always thought mayb our ages is why she isnso difficult to deal with im 36 she is 25 and out the gate she lead me into the relationship when i told her if she wasnt serious bout a relationship we can remain friends of course she said she wanted us n within the first month r 2 i caught her n lies secrets met men that she told me was friends but she had relationship with! I hurt badly especially after walkin away 10 years with another toxic woman but it was too late i was n love! She promised she want lie no more etc n i believed her cuz her family was saying cuz shes young even tho my gut told me different! Well now we almost 3 years n she refuses to admit any wrong she done n of pushed she shut downs n what i found out stonewalls me n now we fight every other day
please get help.
Do you ever consider doing a promo bono client? Because I feel as if maybe we could help each other because my boyfriend & I would/could be a perfect case study. I'm pretty sure that he is on the extreme end of the Cluster B disorders, I just can't quite put my finger on which one he is. However, I have also learned that most likely I have my very own disorder &maybe I just have a hard time seeing that it could possibly be more my fault because I make him worse sometimes. We could really use the help before one of us ends up being very hurt, behind bars, or even dead. I just can't afford to go to therapy. Any suggestions or information will be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
dr, fox can you help me with counseling?
It costs me my happiness and the chance at doing better and being w someone better.
my dear If you want help to make him change
Message me on WhatsApp..
+1:914:206:4085
And I will direct you to someone who can help you make him change
are you in search of a spell caster? i found a legit source recently and he asked me a few questions and immediately i get my love back! i was fucking shocked,but was nervous at first cos i’ve never tried such tho. +1 (413) 685-0377 text him directly on both cell phone or Whatsapp
I need help. I am a covert narcissist and don't know what to do. I believe in myself to escape this well trenched path . I seek light.. only to end in dark . There is nothing left of me but a mask.. i lost everything. I know the is hope somwere My gf sees this and struggles to help me but I keep gas lighting and draining her . Why can't I feel....
Bruce there's one somebody that can Help us all and that is the Most High God I believe if you are truly sincere about being free from these demonic entities because that's what they are they are demonic entities that is trying to possess your life but I believe if you cry out to God with al of your heart God will set you free I truly pray for you my Ex husband has NPD and I truly pray that he cry out to God for his deliverance I believe he can be a beautiful person if he get set free from them demons Hoping for the Best for you
You are courageous to admit that, when almost 99% of info abt narcissists is negative You have a choice to stop doing what you are doing, try identifying your patterns and why you are doing them
A mental health professional who has a lot of experience and successes in working with narcissism. One of the biggest problems is that most narcissists will not admit there’s anything wrong, there’s no accountability for what’s going on in their relationships. Another reason is that a lot of narcissists are very good at manipulating the therapist. They require a strong, experienced person for treatment. One who is able to notice and deal with the manipulations.
I felt this hard💯 I'm starting to realize what I have.
Doc Fox, my husband and I have so much to share eventually. CPTSD in me can't even make a sentence and his total mesh with malignant npd mother has his now known bpd self totally swallowed. But I must say this to couples seeking answers for sudden changes in partner and it appearing to be npd. Be careful not to assume that and don't tell them reality of what they are causing you to feel more than once without them recognizing it outloud themselves etc. It could be a npd in their life that they have surely developed a bpd after years of said npd abuse and the fact that you will dare take what that npd has always had and must have to survive will unleash evil without bounds naming you enemy 1 and never stop. You will make it worse and doom poor partner of yours by even speaking reality with words, they are aggression to npd. Causing the bpd partner with npd traits, totally treatable and ok...along with the npd consistently using all sorts lies and techniques you couldn't even think is possible especially if it is the mother of partner have no ability to not see you as enemy of them because they hear such coming from your mouth too. and i regret that harm i can't erase. Today he just showed up though and quietly watched doc fox with me choosing npd mother and son topic. There is hope finally. please forgive any mistakes,
What to do if you are black sheep of narcissistic family. I try to keep no contact with my family now. It has since then given me much peace but at the same time I need some close human connection.
Looking for part 2, etc.... Link?
Get the free online book Stop Walking on Eggshells. Listen to it every day.better still listen to Meredith Miller on KZhead- breaking the trauma bond. Also the Little Shaman on KZhead. After 9 solid months of listening to these podcasts everyday I’ve finally broken the bond with my bpd / narcissist ex. He has come hoovering me back up but I’m finally strong enough to do right by myself for my self. Step 1 of healing and recovery- stop making them more important than yourselves. Good luck 🤞
I really wish this is true...I have BPD and I fell for a man with NPD! The sparks fly but he got scared of something...and even if he's attracted to me and we had the hottest kiss and dance, I was gutted when he told me it couldn't work between me and him...it's been a few months and I'm still replaying this moment in my head over and over, still feeling the heat of the moment...I'm just haunted by him now and I cant get him out of my head and I can still feel him and it's driving me insane!
Create or find an external object that represents him and say why you need say and then cast it out. It’s like purging him.
@@DrDanielFox Thank you
This information might help build a basis to reflect upon to stabilize your own sanity while also learn how to survive being stuck in mire of someone’s narcissistic behavior and the yo yo ride
Glad you found it useful.
Excellent video! New subscriber🌞.
If i knew answers to all these fundamental questions in this video then why would i go for any therapy or treatment
Ive been confused for a long time he is in denial and blames me and everything or everyone else for us arguing and we're we are I've been self reflecting and researching how we got here narcissist most definitely describes him it's getting worse but he says nothing is wrong with him I'm so emotionally drained and don't know what to do
In the beginning things were going well and as yrs went by things happened, normal and otherwise but my life started to change drastically, I lost my career, lost my education, lost alot of my health and if that wasn't strain enough I had a child have a seizure and developed autism, then my brother died, then a child leaving the nest for first time and then a move to a different state and a death, then a nother brother died and then a mom fig my aunt died, then my lil bro died and then my best friend then another friend. In that time he took a job 600 mi away with a promise if working from home for 6 no but it was permanent and he tried to split time between here and there and not take pay cut to be at home but did it without asking me. I remained behind to finish raising 4 of our 7 kids, no help and him living his own life elsewhere and then the excuse for not being back more was he has to help his parents ( she's a narcissist also and has caused so many many issues) and I have finally reached a place where there is no me anymore. I'm not the person I used to be and I no longer have the energy to deal with him or mom and he doesn't want a divorce he says counseling but then refuses to go. I mean enough. Even if doesn't want help I'm broken and I need sowm glue. I worry one day I'm going to crack and idk what that looks like and I don't wanna find out. So many issues and things thatve happened and I'm just empty. Please tell me that this makes sense and I'm not being petty or rediculous or childish!
Not looking for a pity party or anything but I just feel like maybe it would be wise with all of this to get some help. I wanna quit. I want a divorce if there isn't some change bc I don't have to be happy or have someone but I would like to just wake up and be ok. Not be angry or sad or depressed or anything. Just to be ok and to ha e a purpose. Do u get what I mean?
It's called cognitive disodance...it's from being in constant fight or flight mode dealing w his bs all these years and now u feel like u are loosing your mind! Breath, work on yourself, face the reality that this marriage isn't real and never was but it happened and u are going to be OK! U will be OK! All that has happened and u are still alive! U cam heal and THRIVE! AND U DESERVE TO! I WISH U THE BEST! GOD BLESS!
Do narcissists typically get bored quickly in relationships? Could that be an identifying characteristic of narcissism?
Bella Rose I’m not a professional but I’ve noticed it goes bad very quickly if you have nothing they’re wanting from you. That sweet beginning period will only last for about a week instead of a month. You know? The compliments, the romance, trips, dinners, things like that. Then, they start putting you down, complaining, making you feel bad about yourself, talking bad behind your back to eventually ghosting you.They usually have another person lined up before they’ve ended it, if they even bother to. Then they love to tell people that they had to get rid of you because you were a druggy, cheater or you stole from them. It’s always something to make them look like the good guy. They ARE always bored! Typically boring people in general. If you have a feeling in your gut...run!! Your vibes are probably right! Good luck 💕😊
If you continue admiring them, then they'll stay ;). 12 years of experience being in a relationship with.
Eri B You’ve managed to keep them around that long ?
@@erib558 they did enjoy admiration.
@@arkohansen9756 yes, I did manage, we got even married.
it’s way to hard for me to explain the reason i’m considering treatment. i don’t think she would go. but basically she destroyed my career and now it bothers her. in a walking reminder of what she did and i’m willing to forgive her because i believe everything happens for a reason. fyi i has an amazing job and now i’ll never work in that line of work again.
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Wow, i noticed he would use certain phrases that i coukd tell he learned fom therapy. He loves his therapist. He wantrd me to go see her, really insisted but i felt weird about it so i und my own. I have a feeling hes either twisting everything have a victim role with her to feel validated or shes a really awful therapist and enabling him . I thought about going to one session just to see. I also had a theory since hed been in therapy for 5 years but b4 we were together n now he's back in therapy that he knew she knows how effed up he is and she could take care of my trauma whilst not being able to reveal what my trauma stemmed from. I believe he doesn't want to be the way that he is and he wanted to keep me as supply as long as possible cuz i waz very doting. so she'd somehow maybe coach me. Its a fuct up mental olympic theory but after i asked him to take Accountbility n declined to see his therapist (not couples therapy mind you, just solo) i said i found another therapist. he then went silent treatment its been bout 2months. He's really done some ethically n morally bankrupt things towards me in a bizness we were apart of just recently. but it blew up in his face. It actually helped me move on quicker, to see he was capable of such treachery. thats his true colors and not the person i fell in love with at all.
One of the best ways for therapy is to have therapy together and individual therapy with the same therapist. It is important that the therapist see you together and separate to assist you to come to the best possible solution for yourself.
"treatment" sound like something you do to a hunk of metal before you paint it :P
My husband agreed to marital counseling and right out of the gate he patently lied. Where do you go from there? Ugh...
Ugh my husband used the therapists positive atregths based approach to say that nothing is wrong in our marriage. I have a toddler and am trying to plan things so i can leave when he turns three. Pray for us!
This has also happened to me. We went to several therapists and he would say that all is well or not say anything at all. I felt defeated. But I think it's about finding the right therapist... One who knows how to ask the right questions and see past the deceit. I opened up about some things that were happening in our marriage and he got upset and his narcissistic ways began to come out. During the session, he attacked me, blamed me for everything, etc, etc. It was risky doing this but I'm on the verge of divorce so I don't care at this point. The therapist was able to see this "personality" surface and she mentioned to him that he has controlling and anger issues that needs to be addressed. And he actually agreed... Although he blamed me for him being controlling and angry smh ( you know they don't take responsibility for anything) . We did three sessions together and will begin individual counseling next week to tackle our individual issues. I need to be healed from the damage done while in this unhealthy relationship that has beat me down and affected my self esteem. I'm focusing on me right now. That's all I can do, and I pray that he gets what he needs in his sessions. I lost myself over the past 3 year and endeavoring to get back to that place.... whole, healed, loving self. We will then come back together once those individual issues are resolved. The therapist was the one who confirmed that he's a narcissist in confidence. I knew it but wasn't totally sure. Now I'm learning to reclaim who I am and get my joy back.
My husband plays therapists so well. Our marriage counselor was not experienced enough to deal with him. He charmed and manipulated her. He had a therapist of his own from the military who was very good, could pick up on my husbands deflections & manipulations. Unfortunately that ended when he was medically retired. Any therapist he’s seen, at my urging he dances rings around or they get frustrated and discontinue treatment. I’m finally done, it’s taken almost 30 yrs for me to wake up. I’m not out yet, but I’m working towards that. With a child and being a financially dependent 50 yro, and the Covid19 situation... I’m not sure how long it’s going to take.
How do I find part 2
@Dr. What drove me was I was thinking on taking my life over and over.because his abuse distroyed me and would never discuss any thing he did to me. So it put me in mental prison I could not get any resolve.and it made me want to end my life.But the Lord Jesus never allowed me to go there.went to 3 councilers were o help had me talk that's it .when , I needed answers.I did not know about narcs till 2012, 15 years after leaving him34 years. . When I did a Google on rageholics after a bad time with one of his adult kids Attacked me 6days when came to visit me. I finely broke and put her out of my house .that's when I found out what I was dealing with.cryed for months.but said finely I know . Now know both kids have it as well. Nearly broke me knowing .what I tried to stop happened anyway With the kids.but God has showed me anew way to pray and deal Im working on it .Seeing some good signs so far🔑😊🤔✝️🙏🏻praise God.
Narcissist, Borderline, Antisocial & Histrionic Treatment is simple: Human- Sacrifice. They'll sacrifice partners, friends, co-workers, family, strangers, children & everyone, EXCEPT their self!
Steve Butler We’re not all terrible, you know.
Do you do online therapy?
There is nothing to be gained as I have lost too much. Its not a normal one. They are self serving I think my father may have been a, narcissist. My poor mum bringing up six children the minute he would come home it was shouting and we were crying. Even in my highchair as a, toddler I remember the arguments
I have a partner with bod someone please help me I’m running out of ideas I got her the bdp book by dr Daniel fox and she hasn’t read it it’s been here a few days now I haven’t said anything about that now today we was speaking about me leaving the company to start my own thing and there is no compromise from her side it’s not as simple as she think and she does nothing but give me grief about it now when it gets like this she can say things that do not need to be said now I’m trying to get my own business running to free up time to put back into her and her bpd so the situation was gettin a little bit heavy so I said I’m going for a cigarette and then she began to shout stuff to me about walking the dogs and clean both of which I have done so I said stop saying things that are not helping the situation and then she switches to how I won’t say nothing to my boss when he gives me grief (which I do and she’s clearly not there in my work place) and when she’s giving me grief I voice my opinion and she seems to think I have more respect for my boss then her which is not in anyways true this situations IS. pushing me away from her but we have two children to who are achieving a lot so I wouu UK is like to work through bc this which she would untill she becomes triggered and after deciding to give it 5 if a topic gets a bit hard and I did the right thing to be told I’m doing the wrong thing and it ain’t good enough now I know there are some areas I need to work on personally but I feel like this is a two way street and she needs to get herself in order to be able to work through things together but at times it becomes impossible because of her attitude towards things even more so if she don’t like what she hears or what is being said then she starts to say thing about what I’m not doing when I am for example washing the dishes and being told I don’t help out I do try me best but I feel like I need more help to get these situations flowing in and out of life with less emotional heart ache anyone’s opinion will be greatly appreciated as I just want to help me partner to become better at dealing with her bpd
You just explained my situation. I hate myself for letting it happened to me... I feel drained as fuck.. I hate her so bad
Get the free online book Stop Walking on Eggshells. Listen to it every day.better still listen to Meredith Miller on KZhead- breaking the trauma bond. Also the Little Shaman on KZhead. After 9 solid months of listening to these podcasts everyday I’ve finally broken the bond with my bpd / narcissist ex. He has come hoovering me back up but I’m finally strong enough to do right by myself for my self. Step 1 of healing and recovery- stop making them more important than yourselves. Good luck 🤞
I wasnt know that I am with relationship with necessity person for 4 years she hurted me I want hurt her back so bad
it doesn't work like that. you can't really hurt her except you can leave her. leave her and start your life again and never see her/think about her etc. losing you will be enough
It's very painful and it's more than I can take I just know if I could talk to her and ask her if she still wants help. I didn't understand this odd evil thing inside her. It came out and said I have no emotion to give you. Like what then appearance changed in a mask I'm not joking hockey masks like Jason I was sunned but Holloween I thought oh a costume I about grabbed it but it keeps falling like a sheet of paper every time I tried to touch it. then I saw a troll the face was black like darkness with other debris and it told me I've been discarded is this a joke like punched but oh when I looked in her eyes a moment before changed I saw the devil's eyes if their ice blue glowing. What are talking about I heard a whisper and crying with her face appearing flipping from troll to her own and said I don't desire you anymore so she ghosts me? I looked out to see her drive off the police came asked me if I choked her she said she was unconscious and the police were debriefing I could hear them well she doesn't have any marks and said some other b/s to make me look like a manic. this was a month ago I have no close again we talked about this and last month she told me next time I won't let you go. I said for six or seven months I was so lost n hurt I didn't know who or what to do so I move on until I found someone and told her I wanted to see if she wants me or I got a new girl coming and she said she still loves me and I stayed but we made a contract of never breaking due to anger and everything covered but this is tough i am in hell
i can’t figure out if i’m with a narcissist or not. i think she is and her additions say yes but other good actions wane me to say, no she’s not a narcissist.
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Maybe she is trying to do things to make you feel what you make her go through, so you can understand the pain and avoid repeating hurtful, selfish behavior. That's my best guess.
How do I fix or get out of my relationship
are you in search of a spell caster? i found a legit source recently and he asked me a few questions and immediately i get to change my narc husband love back! i was fucking shocked,but was nervous at first cos i’ve never tried such tho. +1 (413) 685-0377 text him directly on both cell phone or Whatsapp
Don't try to understand them just leave don't drain urself for them they don't know what love is 😑
I believe in god to help change my partner
amen me too
I believe that too
How's that working out for you both?
I have zilch clue whatever possessed me to watch this knowing damn well my ass is single. 💔 🥀
But it may not be forever. It's good info.
Mine says, if you want to be my girl.... you need to get a thicker skin.
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I appreciate the videos and knowledge you share, but I do have one critique. I find it much more comfortable when we're at the same eye level. As it is here, I feel like I'm sitting in a chair, and you're standing over me, and I'm having to look up at you the entire time. If you don't like sitting and prefer to stand in front of that wall, raising the camera would be helpful. For me at least lol Just my 2 cents.
Thanks for the feedback. I think you’ll see many changes in more recent videos. I appreciate you caring enough to send feedback. 🦊👍
They detroy u.
Is it possible for a narcissist to get help and change?
All thanks to Dr aguiyi for helping get my ex back and help me solve my problem to get a spell caster Email him directly at aguiyispellcaster@gmail.com or WhatsApp him on +2348151642717.
I wonder the same thing
We were Married for 10year with a child. I gave up a lot for her to become a faithful house wife. My narcissistic wife was still threatening to file a divorce and take custody of my Child because. I knew she was cheating and also into illegal things. I had no papers so I cleaned to have money, my boss son told me about this guru he was the only one i could call to, want to be free from narc abuse to hi s name above.
Can narcissist get ever better can he/she accept the treatment?
It's very much an individualized experience.
This is my story of being engaged to a narcissist and then "left at the alter" kzhead.info/sun/lcqQpMOJo3mifac/bejne.html It was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life, but also one of the best things that ever happened to me NOT to marry him!
Can a stubid narcissist really Change???
This was a wonderful video, unfortunately I believe my wife to have this disorder. We have tried couples counseling several times and failed. We are separated now for four weeks, after 20 years and have two beautiful children together. She is seeing a therapist now, I hope and pray he/she can properly diagnose her disorder.
L Squad -- Wish you the best on your journey here. Why did the couples counseling fail for you?
I agree that both people need therapy!
Omg come to the point
Emotionless creature...nothing less nothing more no empathy..so no emotion
This is me fulfilling my promise, he’s my favorite after so many heartbreaks. I thought it was time to give myself a break and focus on my job while trying to heal from my previous toxic relationship. After about a year and half I met a man who turned out to be my daughter’s boss , I was reluctant at first but his persistence and high spiritedness got me submissive. We started getting along so well , no day passes without constant communication, I fell in love and didn’t want to be hurt ever again; told him my weaknesses and he told me his, along the line he came across his ex and his attitude towards me started getting cold. Seemed like deja vu all over and so I couldn’t let the anxiety tear me apart. I met a colleague who introduced me to the best set of Private investigators ultimate hack , I contacted and hired them almost immediately and they requested a down payment to commence the job after targets cell number was provided. After few hrs they responded with all the deleted and recent messages , Whats App Facebook Instagram Snapchat gps and archives of pictures he has been sending out; I practically had access to his phone without his knowledge. Turns out he connived with his young sibling to test my patience and tolerance, all the info was carted to me , thanks to the hackers I now pass his test with ease, lol . For assistance on how to track or monitor your spouse email ultimatehack003@ gmail com or Whats App/call/text +17202954268 I wish you well as You find out the truth about your partner just like I did .
First step get rid of the person !!!!
My dear if you want help to make him change
Message me on WhatsApp
+1:914:206:4085
And I will direct you to someone who can help you make him change
You can't take away mental illness just like that.
You never explained
I noticed lol 😆
Quit mistaking narcissism with an unclean spirit. PRAY.
Yes I agree with you they are falling spirits
I really want to listen but I can't handle the breath in lips suck. Omfg it's maddening bye
So Rude and Ungrateful!
Are you mad blaming people who are abused by Narcissists ????!!!!!!
I cannot listen to the loud swallowing, tongue slapping and verbal noises.