How to Deal with a Narcissist as an Empath - Impact the World
Over the course of 16 years leading workshops around the world, teaching online courses, and holding private one-on-one sessions, Lee has helped thousands of people navigate the relationship struggle that often arises between narcissists and empaths.
As a first step on a healing journey, we have to be willing to take a good look at ourselves - at our behaviors and belief systems. Those of us who identify as empathic often get caught in specific patterns and we must learn to recognize those patterns in order to move past them.
In this special episode, Lee teaches clear and practical techniques for overcoming this dynamic and avoiding it in the future.
Timestamps:
(9:07) Know who they are without illusion.
(18:24) Know who you are without illusion.
(23:49) Know where your support is coming from.
Want to go deeper with Lee’s work? Join us beginning March 10, 2023 for his acclaimed online course, Empaths vs. Narcissists - A Power Dynamic and How to Recover From It. This powerful healing journey features over 10 hours of video teaching, a Live Q&A call with video replays provided, guided qigong practices to facilitate grounding, audio downloads of all course content, a private members' forum and much more!
Registration is open now at
www.leeharrisenergy.com/empat...
THESE BOOTS ARE MADE FOR WALKING!!!
Are we choosing to stay small and play small so that they don’t have too change… wow that hit home
Wow Lee, I actually joined your course a couple of years ago after breaking away from my abusive parents. Through it and over a long period of time I also ended up identifying these same narcissist patterns in my partner, which was totally unexpected! I've ended up really ill, with pains and fatigue and other symtoms, and I feel very confused and lost in my life right now... I take your video as a sign for me to go back to your content. It feels so incredibly difficult to admit to certain things, but I'm so so grateful for your creation, presence and support! The loneliness I feel is very real and I can't wait to connect with other souls going through this empowering process! Much love to you Lee and to everyone reading 😃🙏💜we are getting to the other side of this together!
It’s so hard. My son is the Narcissist and I keep believing him and disbelieving him. I make myself crazy going back and forth. Sad sad sad.
Lee, thank you...their pull is so so strong and as Empaths, our downfall is also that we get to forgiveness so easily. This is a very loving and clear reminder ❤ to love ourselves, and stand straight in our entirety. You forgot to say : Empaths are the ideal "target" for people with NPD, because we SEE THE SOUL, we see beyond the behaviours and toxicity - so we love beyond. Love is not enough. We come out destroyed, crushed, exhausted
So true. After 16 years of daily drama I can't take any more of it.
so what do we do when they break boundaries
@@cupidok2768 Detach and walk away, find help to do so if you need it. They will not stop breaking boundaries, it is how they operate.
If we come out "destroyed, crushed, exhausted", it was not LOVE we displayed. Certainly not towards ourselves. We just tried to accommodate their needs no matter what, and that only happens when we don´t love ourselves in the first place. No love present there.
I wish I was in a position to do this right now, but I am separating from my husband after 27 years of being together and selling our home with a view to raising my young adult twins alone. My toxic relationship/marriage was heavily narcissistic, alongside, Autism/Aspergers type behaviours. It is so confusing, traumatic and also worrying. I have been in a previous, much more overtly abusive relationship, which has meant the more nuanced behaviours were overlooked. I am on my healing journey. I am happy to be alone and I am also building a life where I won't feel lonely. No fixing, no delusions - that is all fine. Trusting is another ball game altogether! Sending you love and positive energy with huge gratitude for your work, which has been a guiding light thought the COVID era. Xxxxxx
Wow! I could have written this... except I've been with mine for 18 years
Sounds like my life right now. This is incredible
Thank you so much for this Lee! I feel like my last relationship had elements of this, yet I feel bad to talk negatively about them, part of that is probably the dynamic of the relationship and the grip they had on me and also I’m not sure if the tendencies were all with intention. Regardless, it showed me so many things about myself and while there was so much confusion, I learnt how to put myself first. I think there is still confusion but I accept it, it was messy and that’s ok; it came at the perfect time, it taught me great things and showed me the power of people close to me. It’s never nice to loose yourself in someone else yet we will find ourselves stronger when we come out of it. I have love and gratitude for the person, relationship and myself since it. You have the power to walk away. Know that you are always loved, even when things seem dark and difficult, take care and much love ❤️🙏❤️
A deep thank you, it brought a clarity of putting together many dreams and the process from recovering from a childhood conditioned pattern created by a narcissistic mother followed by "love relationships" which repeated the earlier pattern.
Thank you Lee for sharing such useful insights. ...❤
Gratitude 😊
Your videos are soclear and elpful. Thank you!
mom,friends,bosses,and partners,....on the healing journey now...alone isolated of course but at least free of the toxic relationships. THANK YOU LEE❤
Thank you Lee. This is one of the very best video's I have seen that explains in plain easy to understand language all about the dynamics and patterns in these relationships. I am on the healing journey after leaving my marriage of 37years to a man that I do strongly suspect is an actual narcissist. I totally lost myself in this marriage and I was the one who always had to make changes and compromises while he thought that his ways and his lifestyle was perfect. I ended up with several physical health problems and mental health issues. I finally left and am no longer suffering from depression, but the autoimmune disorder and heart condition are still there, but improving.
I never lost my power nor did I surrender it but it took me thirty years to gain power in my own life and escape the toxic influence that was my relationship with my Narcissistic mother, however sadly I have never reached any level of healing or acceptance in my life to deal with the baggage I still carry around with me...
Great video, Lee, and I do appreciate the way you invite us to enquire within and reflect on which ways we have contributed to this dynamic. I grew up with a single mother with NPD so it’s been quite a head wrecker for me and I’m not sure I’ll ever fully recover. I’d like to think I can. I did your course in 2021 and found it very useful. I really enjoyed the role plays you did as well. It seems to me that if we can learn to truly value and appreciate ourselves, have firm boundaries and not have any interest in getting swept up in drama, then we are far less easy prey for a narcissist.
Thankyou Lee. I am recovering after walking away. It's been a lifetime experience.
Thank you so much for this. We hear so much about narcissism and this keeps the ball and power in the court of the one who has endured. I heard a Maya Angelou quote on Dr. Ramani’s channel recently that “Surviving is important, but thriving is elegant”. Much gratitude for opening the door to that elegance here. 🙏
Love that quote and one I naturally love and live by. ❤❤❤❤
This was perfect timing to listen today. It was like you listened to a place inside that is hard to describe to others around the dance of empath & narcissist. What I most appreciate about your work is how grounded & balanced it resonates between spirit and human nature. In my current process of healing trauma, my path this year has been through one on one therapy, along with self inventory around where I lost myself and what I bartered in exchange to experience love, validation and attention from others. I unconsciously became emotionally numb to survive childhood and didn’t realize it became the norm. Being naturally sensitive & emotionally intuitive, life felt already intense and overwhelming. It took the shift that covid brought to give myself time & permission to open up & explore the loop that kept playing same theme around feeling misunderstood & invisible whenever I tried to connect with others. The day an awareness revealed how my unhealed wounds had built an unconscious layer of self hatred & unworthiness was a painful yet soulful aha moment around the repeat loop of attracting the unhealed, wounded places in others. They represented a mirror that my unhealed conditioning wanted to fix or cut off. Over the span of this year by learning how to trust the universe from a deeper soul space to tune into, was finally able to grasp the bottom of a well filled with decades of grief and loss, and through working with my spiritual nature, creativity, play, weekly therapy, as well as listening to others who are on a similar journey, am rediscovering who I am from a more realistic, loving & engaging practice of self care and kindness. It’s liberating to feel more comfortable in my authenticity without feeling like my existence isn’t worth enough to experience all on its own. In conclusion I reopened a door of what I was dealing with to my siblings, who in the past felt too intense to engage with because our parents had crossed without being able to acknowledge what we went through, but by opening that door, it’s given us all permission to be more open & truthful around how our childhood effected our adulthood & feel so grateful that in honoring my intuition when it prompted me to open the door, this result has occurred. Once again thank you 🙏🏻 for sharing & modeling the information in such a way my heart grasps it all the way down to my soul bones 🔥❤️🔥
Brilliant ✨👌🏽
Well said .. I love the end
Thank you Lee💚🌻💚
Hi Lee, We’re dealing with a family member who is a malignant, toxic, narcissist, as well as bipolar - none of which, they can acknowledge - and it’s playing out in the context of our mother’s estate, and seems never ending - after 5 years of court cases, and judges ruling in our favour.. This individual has also now asked to meet with our lawyer - and her lawyer - without us being present. We are now waiting for a date from our lawyer - and we will be there- and there will be a choice that this individual will be presented with - and our executor will have the final say.
Thank you so much dear Lee Very interesting and spot on Sending love and light!!! ❤️🙏✨🍀
Very good! Right on
Thank you Lee💫🕊🐛💝🙏🏼💝🦋🕊💫 in recovery mode for over 6 years now.. enrolled in your course❣
I truly want to keep healing from these troubled experiences for sure.
Thank you LEE 🙏
Well doing it to myself being born in a narcissistic family. And far in adult age got lot of attacks. So till I was 45 I had an unconscious codependency and abusive relationships. Looking back on so much and severe and early child trauma this will never be healed. Best for me is to stay in relationship with myself and sometimes I meet a like minded someone and that feels blessed. Love nature, but the inverted upside down energy of the world upside down I cannot cope. It feels like my soul is being sucked out.
🌈🌎💕💫thank you!
Thank you for the insight. Love and light
Thank you 💚
I have to thank you so much as well. For saying everything I know and letting me know that I am not alone. I am walking away from the second husband that is a true narcissist. I have worked on my self. I still felt that something was blocking me. When I remembered that I had forgotten to work on controlling my empathetic gift so that it would not be a curse to me. This led me to watching beyond belief and your KZhead video ( I have been a big fan of you and George). Just from watching this video and my revelation, today I once again feel free. I appreciate all your help.
Thank you Lee 💜💙💛🙏🏻
Beautiful. Thank you. “The power is in you. Not in them. “🙏❤️
Thank you, Lee 🌷❤🙏
Thank you for sharing your insights 🙏 My encounter with a narcissistic person was the biggest lesson ever and most important ever for me. I'm actually almost thankful for the experience. It took someone like him, to push me to a deeper understanding of me, the dysfunctionel relationships I grew up in whitin my family and along with that ancestral wounds and traumas and the effects of them. A lot of truthseeking and healing had to be done. Still today three years after I'm time to time thinking about what happened and the empath in me hopes he's also has come to some deep soulfull understanding about himself... But really.that's not for me to care about anymore. In the best of worlds one would prefer to have a shared balanced conscious ending with each other... but of course that has not happened. The person is blocked in all possible ways:) Anyhow, I believe the narcissist and the empath are two sides of the same coin! Both beeing neglected on care and love as children, both wanting to be loved but in opposite ways. The narcissist demands attention in extreme egoistical ways and empaths seeking to be seen and loved by pleasing others needs and neglecting selfrespect, bounderies and so on. Indeed a lot of healing have to be done not only on one of these persons but also ancestral healing is necessary. Relationships helps us learn much about ourselves! Much love and healing to you all! " May all who suffers be released from that suffering And the causes of it" Amen🙏
I definitely was lead to this video, so on point and in the right time. Thank you. 🙏🏼✨
Thank you kind sir🙏🌟💙
Your content feels like coming home to myself. Thank you, Lee. ❤
Thanks Lee. Great messages
So clearly delivered, thank you.❤
Once again Thank you, Lee. Relevant on so many levels❤️🌞
Hello lee! Tu es incroyable!! Jamais tu ne te Lasse de revenir sans cesse pour aider ceux qui en ont besoin!!! De tout mon coeur un tout lumineux merci lee!!! Amour et lumière 💜
Thank you so much - L0ve Unlimited 🦋💗🕊🙏😇🍀🐞🌈
Wonderful Lee, thank you so much, I'm trying to extricate myself from a marriage to a narcissist and it's quite a journey. This was extremely helpful for me, thanks a ton for your wisdom and guidance on this issue.
Lee thank you so much for sharing your journey and perspectives here for healing. I have been in relationships that have deeply painful elements of these yet always accompanied by genuine love and giving as well, just not particularly balanced. In my own explorations of healing methods I discovered a helpful perspective in a simple archetype, a way of framing this part of our growth = We start out feeling wounded by one or both parents when we realize our creative uniqueness isn't reflected back to us growing up, a recognition that usually makes us feel "Distant", and from there we begin our healing journey of both our inner feminine "Disarming" and our inner masculine "Dynamic" defense patterns, eventually leading to a more well balanced "Pioneering" self expression where we feel we have self permission to be who we are etc. These archetype terms were eye opening for me (from Alignment Technologies) and come to mind when you talk about the nuances of Empaths and Narcissists. To me it's a balance of polarities we all learn to embody and express in our unique creative ways, and heal through our unique karmic lineages. What a challenge and what a ride. Love your work! Thank You!
Excellent! The healing always lies within us...thank you, Lee for focusing attention on the cause rather than the effect...for empowering rather than instilling self-victimization. Grateful for you and your work.
A beautiful summation Lee. Lee's course arrived, for me, at the perfect time. His gentle revealing of what still felt like brutal truths at the time assisted me greatly, and helped set me on a positive trajectory of healing. Thank you Lee. 🙏🙏 My personal involvement with NPD individuals included my mother plus a long marriage I had recently left when I did the course. If you're considering doing the course, highly recommend it.
Wow, that bit about learning to give to my parents in order to recieve attention is spot on. It's so hard when it's your family and syblings who make you choose between yourself and them.
Thank you! For this video it confirms what I experienced about myself and the ex partner I was with this helps me to know who I am and what I need to do for myself in not having to go through this again.
Thanks for being so very awesome! 🦅🌄🦅
Having a family member or child with personality disorder and especially if that is being self medicated is difficult. The symptoms range but usually and always from trauma or stress felt from the womb or even further back generationally. If you listen to Gabor Mate he explains adequately. All addicts are traumatized but not not all traumatized become addicts. And we do feel it. I think everyone can if their antennas work efficiently. And if it is a child you have to try everything to help with the challenges. And they can and often are or just exhibit narcissistic tendencies as they are all wrapped up in their own pain, trauma, dysfunction and self as a result. We do have choices on whether to love or have intimate relationships with those that suffer like that or to try and help them and even if it doesn't seem to do be effective, love never fails. Never in the long run, even if we can't see it now. Sometimes they need contrast, support and love, even and especially if they are that far off. Not at the expense of drowning ourselves. Take an alcoholic drowning themselves to death in their 70's and they have affairs and can't work to take care of themselves and no social security. Does the husband stop supporting? Sometimes they need someone to be their come what may at the end of their journey. We know a couple like that. Sometimes it is about survival in the most basic ways. Sometimes in the grand scheme that is a necessary evil. Thank goodness this one existence is not the only and just a drop in the bucket. And sometimes we make sacrifices for spouses and children. And some are so broken, and the pain too much to bear and it does create collateral damage. But love, loves all. Even them. And so can we. I wouldn't recommend starting a relationship with a narcissist, especially one that is functional in society. But those that aren't need the most. And they do matter. We have a societal cancer creating these types. And healing is what is needed. And society mirrors to us what that is. And many are wrapped up in the toxicity that is breeding literally out of it. I am a recovered traumatized addict, who was very narcissistic during that time because you just can't focus on others when you are unconscious yourself. And married a sociopath and thus had a child with conduct, borderline and other mental challenges and struggles with addiction. And the dramas and traumas that arise from that lifestyle almost always come first. And if no one were there to create safety and support there is no opportunity to heal. Opportunities are everything. Not all are taken. Not all come to fruition. But the journey is always one of love for all of us, whether we see, understand or get that. It is so complicated. So very complicated when it comes to trauma and personalities and opportunities and how to navigate it all with differing levels of consciousness. The children are suffering. It starts from the very conception the stress they experience, even from just electricity. I lived in an apartment and every unit had a modem and a smart meter. Even my cat was stressed. I was fortunate to move to a single family dwelling and my life changed. The energy was supportive. Many are suffering and don't even know why. Electrosensitivity is real. And fetus' are sensitive. To all the drama and traumas. To the media. To the energy of this world. Few are really supported adequately any more. We aren't teaching it. The homelessness, poverty, illness, poisonings and everything is contributing to the energy we are all birthing into. But it is all good. The future is positive. We are starting to awaken. And the shifts that will happen to preserve the planet and the species will give us breathing room.
Good video
Dear Lee, I listened to you about 14 years ago and was drawn to your energy. 14 years alter and my dear friend forwarded me a video of you and when I saw the name I thought to myself, '' How did I forget about Lee Harris?!''. I came across this video and I have to say that this is such an empowering message to the world.I am SO GRATEFUL for the gift of awareness you are sharing. Thank you, thank you!
Brilliant Lee, thank you. Thank you for this free insight to this topic which I've found beautifully enabling. Can't afford the course right now but have enough pointers to help me through this, never to be repeated, 5+ years of a crazy, long distance relationship, since 2017. Covid lock-up was also a great opportunity to ponder upon this along with many other aspects of my spiritual life. Am so very grateful for your guidance + energy updates, been following you for around 7 years. 🙏 Much love from New Zealand ❤️
Thankyou
I love this. Thank u. 💖
Very helpful, as always , dear Lee! Thank you for sharing!
Thank you Lee! 💜
Thank you my Dear
Thank you!! Verry supportive video! 💜🙏💜
Thank you so much.
Thank you 😭
Thank you Lee❤
this was a great course...thank you Lee n team....big love to all :)
That was excellent.
Thank you Lee and Team! You put out my life lines for many years now ❤❤❤
Really good talk!
Thank you ❤
Lee is the best!
😄🙏💜Thank you beautiful Lee
bless you so much..I absolutelyove your precisenessand clarity..especially for an empath. thank you!! I appreciate the respect you gave this topic.
Thanks Lee, this was really helpful. 🦋
Lee you are so good at breaking things down and making them so clear! Thank you! I wanted to take this class but maybe next time. Need to save some money for you! I did take your boundaries class and I really enjoyed that one! Thank you!
The reason we have narc's in our lives is to learn....evolve and expand from..... They are a gift BUT the human aspect of ourselves still need to grieve the loss of what we truly believed it could have been.....we were tricked by their false affection....we were abused and bullied as they were mistreated as such.... Narcassists offer us the following.... To find our voice .... Speak our truth..... Reclaim the power we gave away to them..... Set healthy boundaries for ourselves in terms of disallowing then to speak and act in a derogatory way towards us..... Reclaim self love.... Reclaim self respect..... Reclaim.....self honor.....
thankyou lee - you put it so succinctly without waffling on - blessings from the land of australia
Amazing video. You are a legend 🎉
Lee, thank you. THANK YOU. The last question you covered and the last thing you said about learning to walk away and live your life on your own terms was EXACTLY what I needed to hear right now. I’ve been following your work for years and I love you and appreciate all of the knowledge and wisdom you impart, particularly how it relates to your own journey of healing and expansion. Thank you, beautiful soul! XXOOXXOO
Thank you Lee. As I see so many people reflecting in the comments, this video and course really touches a core area for so many of us. I appreciate all the wisdom in this video and feel it can be applied to so many of our relationships, so that we feel taken care of by our selves first and foremost, and never abandoned by our very own self.
Thank you again Lee. I do feel that since last time I listened to this video, I have changed in the direction of not needing what I thought was a relationship but really isn't one at all. What I feel is a gain in my own power, even in just fits and starts, and a clearer vision being able to walk away. I use your monthly Energy updates and they do help. Again thank you. I really feel you're here with me.
Thanks Lee the information was so helpful for me when reflecting on some relationships in my life, 1 in particular, and the questions you went over really highlighted things for me which was a bit sobering. The takeaway message for me was that I need to change they way in which I engage and that will shift things. Thanks again, great information.
Gracias♥♥♥♥♥♥
I remember having to get aggressive with someone once. I had to say to them who do you think you are to speak to me like that.
What about when it's your kids? That's when it's really really hard. I'm working on it listening to you wisdom as help me so much minutes so painful when it's your own kid. Thank you for your wisdom and you're advised.❤
Thank you so much. Your video was super helpful and saved me from having to “call the guy.” 😊
I really enjoy listening to all the wisdom you share and grateful for your vulnerability and sharing yourself. I wasn’t able to sign up for the class for April and am wondering if this class is still being offered and sign up now?
One of my biggest selfish wishes is for anyone that surrounds me to be really and truly happy so I can be left alone. I don't know how to set boundaries, I texted the current person I deal with asking to only have a courteous professional relationship, but feels like she just ignored the text. For me it feels like the only way is to not care and as an empath it's really difficult not to care. Lately I just look at it like I planned to go through this before incarnating and I tell myself that I will learn a lot from my current situation even if I don't see it right away. So far the main thing I'm getting from my current situation is that I'm learning how to be patient (not my strong suit). Overall, these type of videos/channels are really helpful for a lot of us, thank you Lee!
Thank you very much for sharing the questions that we can consider. As a therpist I sometimes work with clients that refer to themaelves as empaths. Your questions help me to check out wether they are in an unhealthy relationship and how they can find clues within themselves. And also I find myself sometimes seduced by those empaths. It seems as if they have cultuvated some superpowers to manipulate others. It‘s hard to grasp. I realized that I have to set boundaries around my role as a tharapist in order to not give too much. It seems to be a fine line for all of us. Lots of love to everybody 🌸☀️
Thank you for the video! As someone who’s dealt with narcissistic friends, relationships and family and a part of me trying to heal them, empathise with their trauma and where their behaviour is stemming from. I’m on a spiritual journey now and the thought of falling back into the same patterns again makes my body react physically - most of the times the urge to throw up. Is this a trauma reaction? Or my is it also a part of the healing process? To feel what I feel and to let it go?
I am breaking out of people-pleasing mode. I am normally cheerful and friendly but when I am met with swords - I pull back and close down. Next I need to get verbal - that is the next step.
What about the addictive nature of these relationships? It is excessively difficult and painful to distance or walk away from that attachment.
It definitely takes practice and consistency. And it all starts with self-love, acceptance, boundaries and compassion for self and others. 🫂🤍
Trauma bonds are very real. The addictive quality of intermittent reinforcement. So the guideline of how you feel "most of the time," simply does not work. Some of them abuse in a covert way.
@@rubberbiscuit99 I appreciate your pointing out the “trauma bonds”. Helps me understand myself better.
when it hurts ur soul more than the pull of the addiction it becomes easier than u think
@@rubberbiscuit99 yes but all addictions can be broken...I stopped drinking after 28yrs and drugs now sober 5 yrs and finally left my narc partner of 15 yrs...it can be done. treat the narc like a drug and you can do it too...bless u
I'm letting it go.
Tes they are very much catalysts to me get in touch lost or small self trauma needs healing❤
Большое спасибо. Тема отношений,дала мне еще большей ясности того,что я разбирала в себе и осознавала. И эта динамика отношений, распространяется на все в жизни. Причина,как всегда одна,все хотят любви и внимания-энергии. Благодарю. 🙏⚜🌹
I thank your heart
Thank you - that's right, it is my fault...I need to change my energy.
Thankyou, I've questioned all these traits all my life frm p behaviour & only realised it was narcissist traits in last yr! I was told frm childhood & evry adult relationship that was too sensitive & crazy& thankgoodness I've realised it's OK 2 b me!! & my hippie frend said u need boundaries, I didn't even realise I shud have them!!😳 I've been a mum& carer as my carer all my life& I now realise I mayb alone now but I'm freee🫂🧘♀️🕉🌈🌸
I lived with this for 3 years and almost killed me took at least 5 years for me to get my brain back my emotions in order doing reiki 1 and reiki 2 this help me immensely cut the chords and to speak my truth whenever somebody put me down or try to manipulate me
How do you deal with a Narcissist as an Empath?...Don't!! Walk away, quickly and quietly.
I think being a people pleaser had something to do with connecting with this past person who was a person with narcissistic quality although quit a character at the same time really messed with me.
When will you open enrollment back up? Or can i purchase the previous recordings?