The Great Wall: The First Battle against a monster horde
While Garin (Matt Damon) and Tovar (Pedro Pascal) are held captive by the Nameless Order, the Wall is attacked by a monster horde.
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Credits: 2016 Universal Pictures. The Great Wall.
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Bungie jumping from a wall to kill one beast at a time while others waste time hauling you back up might be the dumbest thing I've seen in a film.
Someone should ask how matt damon feel about being left out of the bungie jumping...LoL. You know, just for fun of whitemean cannot jump???
It looks cool as heck though. 😂✌️👍
I've seen dumber. But that is hella inefficient, right?
Lol
Yeah, like, what was the point of it?
Gotta love how honorable the massive horde of monsters is. They form a literal mountain to the top of the wall but then go one by one over the top to fight.
aye man they're on a strict budget
i bet their just waiting their turn in line "ooh ooh its my turn to run up there and 1v30 them"
Or how they lose 10 trillion getting up to the wall, but once they lose 2 more actually fight on the wall they call it quits and retreat.
plus they take back their dead and injured, WHILE being shot at
@@2ksouljawell they do that to eat them
Sometimes you find a movie that absolutely sucks but is still fun to watch
별 그지같은 소리를 하네
If its fun it doesnt suck, well for me anyway
It sucked?
Absolutely awful, but goofy which makes it fun @@mrsiracha7717
This was actually pretty entertaining but strange
I love how the archers are precise enough to shoot their eyes from 1000 meters away, but once they get into close combat they can't even stab them in their weak spots.
It's one thing for you to target a creature 1000 meters away, it's another thing for you to fight on equal footing with the creature 5 meters away using a sword/spear
Archers are not for close combats 😑
if that creature were real i say most soldiers would be terrified not only by the size but also the strength of it
If this movie is from china why is willem dafoe in it?
@@derekstaroba Americans can be in Chinese products.
General, there's the queen. Attack the queen. Give this man a medal right now! 💪
General be like "Very enlightening, thanks for your input sherlock, i almost couldn't see her"
Hey he didnt become leader for no reason.
General: Oh my eyes cannot see I'm Asian man leave me da fuk alone
But what does the queen do?
@@fan9775 controls the horde
When they dropped the blue dressed fairies down to stab and get killed. Matt Damon’s face was exactly mine. Dumbest strategy EVER
Lool
it just a cheap way to build up for the final because one of the girl in blue use those bungie jump to help kill the queen.
Gravity doesn't work in china
@5LAMPO7 Zzzzz cc
True, but for the movie hot women bouncing around on the end of ropes worked better, they could even claim equality for showing female warriors.
“Bungie jumping off a cliff to poke a monster in the eyeeee… Duuuuumb waysss to dieeee…”
I know right they should of just been spear throwers
"So many dumb ways to die."
“Dumb ways to di-i-ie.”
@@CJ-Pr0gaming "So many dumb ways to die🎶"
I love the fact that the only weakness of these monsters are their eyes and the archers are precise enough to shoot only to aim their eyes
It is not thier only weakness
well looking at the 8 arrows in the side of the thing the 2 britishers were fighting it looks like they werent that precise
Yes, at 200 meters on the run " aim for the eyes ". Even for a fantasy movie this is outrageous.
It might be where each wave has a different weakness, so every few decades when the next wave arrives they have to try and see where the critters are vulnerable. A prior wave might have had the vulnerable part centralized but farther back along the spine, a different wave might have had a thin spot forward that cut off the Hive Mind signal meaning the critters hit would be killed by their fellows, etc
Unless you got the Elves from Lord of the Rings
Maung, What are you talking about? You saw them do it. Right?
Typical Chinese movie. So dumb.
You act like you've ever been a stressful situation like this. Dumb sht is said during stressful situations.
Is it just me, Or are there crane troopers incredibly inefficient? They are going to kill at most, one beast per attack, and they seem to get picked off almost as often as they survive. We also know they don't need the crane troops to keep the beasts off the wall, because later in the movie they show the heavy infantry that hang off the wall to keep the beasts down. If the crane troopers were just also archers, they would kill way more and more likely stay alive.
yh ridiculous machinery/years of training to achieve next to nothing! Looks awesome though 🤷🏾
It looked like they had basically overun the wall with hundreds building up then 3 of them get killed and they call a retreat? It is Chinese cinema...same as Hollywood. Looked great though.
wamen empowerment
Its rule of cool lol
Since the Monsters attack after every 60 years or so. Im guessing during that time, someone thought the Crane Corps was a good idea and implemented it. Only then, this battle happened and they realised just how ineffective a stupid this idea was and therefore didnt use this tactic again for the rest of the movie.
This scene truly deserves to be in the Rings Of Power.
Как называется фильм
Lies again? World Cup Don't Understand Chinese
You don't see what the budget is saying?
@@shuhratshuhrat8688the great wall
Damn! Those creatures must have intelligence that is on par, or above average, with humans! I mean, not only do they show honor to their enemies, but look after and respect their fallen comrades, and take care of their wounded
Those female solders plunged down from the wall to kill those beasts is the most stupid tactics ...
@@Malaysia8888 that scene is stupid, the movie isn't.
@Éfar Isti I recently watched again honestly it's mediocre 😪
@@thepresidentialjfk I didn't say it was great, just not stupid.
It's called population control
what would you do then what kind of tactic would you use ,
Let's give the blue ones a round of applause who bungee-jumped to their deaths, shall we?
No, they’re stupid
No.
@@serene_actual 👏
Lol
They gave the beasts a meal
For the blue people, even though its a terrible and pretty much suicidal strategy, you have to admit that its really badass.
@@nonenonenone593i hate people who just say stuff like its just a movie. Yes its a movie but even movies need to be grounded. There has to be a sense of realism or rules established by that world. In this case, aside from the monsters itself,id say this world is like old china with slightly more innovative tech. That crane crap just beat the purpose of a wall and occupied like 5 other people who could be shooting arrows instead.
@@harrellt1405I believe it’s called “fictional” for a reason
@@whister6250 ye its a fictional world, but last time i check they also have common sense. Why build the wall if youre not gonna use it - just jump out of it
Women: We want to fight in the army as well! Emperor: On do you now?
🎣
I remember watching this and being like ok, cool concept. And then they made the clownish popping noise when archers shoot the eyes. Lmao, coupled with the poor crane bait it turned into a pretty good comedy. Haha, love this movie.
Why not forget the bungee lancers, and simply sprinkle a truck load of rat-poison down onto them? A mobile chip-van of used boiling-oil could also cause havoc to the attackers, and would be a quick and fast way of providing a good lunch to the hungry defenders at the same time.
@@andyharpist2938 are you really a harvest?
@@andyharpist2938 harpist
Boiling oil followed by a match would be more effective and take less men
Studio - How dumb do you want the women attacking the beasts? Director - Yes
🤣🤣🤣🤣
It's a weak tactic but really not dumb at all
@@jaypenhypenjay3654 it dumb as fuck rather give them bow n arrow
@@jaypenhypenjay3654 it's like throwing a jar of sugar into ocean in order to make the water sweet
@@sarfaraz185 except those soldiers are actually killing the beasts
sergeant: You will be trained in the Crane Corps Me: ohhh man......
This is the most realistic attack of china by the mongols I’ve ever seen. Second only being Mulan.
"We shall use the cane troopers!" That seem soo ineffective. How about a bow and arrow? Or dump hot sand, boiling water or burning oil? "No! It wouldn't look epic enough for the trailers!"
or make an overhang on the wall so they can't climb
It's funny cause later in the movie they have slits in the walls for them to have rotating blades come out which is hilariously more effective then sending troops in like they're a fishing line.
@@konradbrochocki4923 its some bullshit pop culture nonsense they thought would be cool, it's just insulting to Asian history, given texts like the Art of War this is just cultural genocide
Never heard of hot sand
@@whatdadogdoin9818 Anakin's greatest fear
"aim for the eyes" how the fuck they gonna hit the eyes
Manchild
Go for the eyes, Boo 🐹
Don't ask any questions. Just do it!
exactly where I switched off, its so lame.
"Uh, sure thing" Keeps firing randomly
The beasts are more tactical holy hell. They literally did a phalanx defense to protect the queen and do the great wall defenders send in. A bunch of blue lady's with stick. Might as well go fishing
Gosh I watched this wwith my brother when it came out, the blue crane part made everyone laugh at the theatre
Loved that movie. Most of it didn't make much sense but it was good entertainment. What I usually call a good "Sunday afternoon popcorn movie". Sit down with a huge bowl of popcorn and just enjoy the show without thinking too much.
This looks like a contender for the worst fantasy movie ever made- and there is some serious competition in that category.
It seemed so pointless to me that I can't even enjoy the action. It was torturous for me to see.
ooh i know what u mean a hangover movie couch chips junkfood and coke and movies where it dossent matter if u fall asleep u are not likly to feel like u missed something it used to be b movies when i was younger but nowadays its bassicly every peace of crap out of hollywood
I love this movie as well. I often wonder why so many people need to analyse every single event in a film, especially if they fall under the Fantasy and Sci-Fiction genre. Not all movies need a logically and deep plot to entertain. I know that "The Great Wall" has many flaws in its story, but for the one hour and forty minutes it lasts, I don't care. Sometimes I just want a movie where I can turn off most of my brain and enjoy the show with some snacks on the side. Trust me; there are much worse movies out there you can waste your time on than this one.
Literally me but with soup instead
Doesn't make sense to me to feed your enemies in the middle of battle, but you do you...
yeah just throw the spear down to horde... No lets jump!!!!!
On point
@@bryane4333 I could see the conversation now... Generals: All right soldiers! How should we keep them off the base of the walls? Soldiers: Pour boiling oil, drop rocks, throw spears, dumping caltrops, wall mounted spear guns, all solid choices! Generals: Nah let's feed em. Better yet let's hurl our prettiest females at them, cause a snack should be a SNACK.
😂😂😂👍
Just how China fights bro. Same as Russia, soldiers are like a grinding disk in a welding shop...consumables
“What god made those things?” “None that we know” I really enjoy that line for some reason
- We can throw spears from top of high wall. - No, take young pretty girls and throw them 😂😂😂
I like that the creatures drag away their fallen comrads with them during retreat. Probably the most mildly interesting detail in this movie.
Yeah as if the humans would even bother taking dead alien wilderbeasts
free food back home
Also, it was a tactic to make people not believe the ones they were attacking, wasn't it? I believe that was a point made as well. Make it seem as if you were never really there to cast doubt between the enemies.
looks like they are social animals.
Therefore, no evidence was left
Armee: "How will we defeat the enemy?" General: "We will defeat the enemy through winning the battle."
2:13 that roar was actually insane.
I used to think that the Blue warriors jumping down to their deaths was a dumb strategy but it is actually very effective when you see how deadly these monsters are on the walls. Killing or disrupting whole sections of archers and swordsmen they needed that delaying tactic.
I think it would have been better to just throw the spear you just stab them as they try and get up. Or literally just throw burning oil at them as they climb up.
its just cool thing for the movie. there are so many other things to drop from height that will deal damage like rocks spears sharp objects explosives and they would be more effective and would not cost anyone to die.
Boiling pot of tar , with fiery tip could cause more mayhem. That’s just me lol.
Yea but is it really effective and worth it if they lose 80% of their soldiers every jump lmaoo i mean it would have bden pretty effective if they could kill a single alone beast climbing the wall and then not get killed like fodder
It really isn't LMAO, they could do more harm to them by just simply throwing the spears at them, or they could have simply just stab them if one manages to get up the wall.
Называется фильм: Великий стена Лайк 👍 если не жалко
Ооо ассаламалейкум бауырым))) калай аталады деп карап отырсам орысша коменттер😂
Я тоже так думал
@@user-zd7cr5lx5o Уағаликумассалам, ия іздейтінтер көп соларға арнап жазғанмын ғой іздеп жүрмесін деп...
I like how instead of just dropping a rock off the wall, they drop their women, then tirelessly haul them back up every single time.
Well its just a movie so blame the director
Dropping women instead of rocks, based China
Pls what's the title
@@ehinolamikel910 Pretty sure it's called "The Great Wall."
Кисиз
5:56: that moment when you realize you’ve just gotta retreat for now and come back later with a new and more powerful plan:
Nothing but the "Rule of Cool" to be see here, and I love it!
"Nah dude, nah, just sit here. They drop the food to you!"
"Aim for the eyes" from hundreds of yards away. Yea, ok cap
Lmao
dont forget his brother Lmfao and his sister lmbao...
🤣
If you in the Chinese army they expected this from you
@@besnikrexha4686 May I ask what is lmbao? I know lmao and lmfao
You know when the monster horde is more intelligent and strategic than the humans...
In the first scene the monsters all have the exact same death animation and its hilarious to watch. Left shoulder up and over WEEEEEEEE!!!
No matter how many times I try sitting through this scene, it strikes me as the shittiest one that was ever made. Like someone pointed out, that crane trooper idea is so donkey brained that it never ceases to make me squirm.
This a kinda good scene. I don't understand anything, but it is enjoyable. (Not for the monsters...)
The whole idea is a crap: the great wall does not work, it just gives several seconds. Maybe they should have invest in blimps?
The crane trooper idea is incredible if you think about it from the Chinese perspective. Kill some monsters and get rid of your unwanted daughters. China logic
A movie with monsters in it. Sure, get hung up on the dumb contraption.
Hahaha, why the hell wouldnt they just throw the spears? Its not like they are taking the spears up with them again. Donkey brain behavior indeed.
The problem I had with this film is that not all the weapons are introduced in the first battle. The Great Wall armies hold back on the gunpowder and those metal slicing devices that come out of the wall until later in the film. Why? If you're being attacked by a monster horde, use ALL the weapons you have at your disposal from the get go.
Well like you said, this was the first battle. The Queen was proding the defenses and not going all out so it wouldnt make sense to expose the trump cards till the end.
@@Scuffed_Prophet Yes, because they knew in advance that she would retreat for no reason whatsoever, instead of pushing a little bit more, breaching their pathetic excuse for a defence and winning.
Cus it shows later and even in this fight thats these beasts learn...if u they dump all tactic an idea into every battle the beasts would just learn...its same with humans...u dont just send all ur best in at once...this isnt overwatch
@@themadknight5678 And if they don't, they will get slaughtered in the first battle. Which one is worse?
@@Alknix welcome to the art of war....u can either risk it all and hope u win. Or hold all ur cards and try to outmanever ur opponet....either can succeed and both can fail
"This is the stupidest movie I've ever seen" -Sun Tzu
The crane corp is like cat toys on a string. And like with a real cat, the creatures inevitably snatch the ‘toy’ lol.
snatch indeed🦎🐉🐊
I love it when the monsters pulls their wounded komrades with them when retreating, showing that they werent just mindless drone that is remotely controlled by the queen... ... Or they simply pulled the wounded back bevause free field rations.
I think there comrades were there MRE's
@@garymccann2960 Monsters ready to eat lol
or they understand every corpse the humans have is another they can examine and use to learn more about them
"Your job is jump off the wall and stab a monster and keep on repeating on a bungy cord" A smart woman - 'you prefer to do that over using gunpowder, or perhaps using a hot air balloon and put some archers on that to go straight for the queen?'
Hate to break it to you but you will need to wait 883 years for the first hot air balloon to fly because they were invented by the french montgolfier brothers in September 1783
@@youllknowme2079 later in the movie they have a flying ballon
@@youllknowme2079 Hate to break it to you, but in this movie they literally have a hot air balloon.
@@DuckTheAssasin bruh. Sorry I haven't seen the movie yet lol
@@youllknowme2079 Nah, It's ok
fishermen be like: rather than burning resources and sending bungee jumpers into the jaws of monsters snapping at anything, how about baiting the lines?
Love how it took time for the tao-tei to listen to the queens command, understanding it and executing the plan
Left side of my brain: Why are those blue armored women being sent down to basically die? Right side of my brain: Omg everyones armor's so colorful :D
-"General that's the queen" -"Attack the queen" Savage😂
IMAGINE OF THIS TOOK PLACE IN MODERN DAY💀 humanity would whoop there asses
There asses? 😮 Where?
This is one of those "it's so bad that it's good" type of movies.
Love how people are literally being torn apart in the most gruesome way, but they still censor cursing
same with countries that allow alcohol with 21 but put soldiers to war at 18... disgusting bigots!
How to tell a movie was adapted for America without telling it was adapted for America.
@@Zantetsudex that's just the yt channel that's bleeping the curses lol they aren't censored in the actual movie
Bruh words hurt more than real shit hahahaha
@@Zantetsudex that’s just censored for YT. Tell me you’re a moron without telling me you’re a moron 😂
I really liked the fact that the beasts try to grab their dead comrades on the way back... Unexpectedly gives them a 'soul'....
Maybe they won't leave any behind because they know the enemy will find their weak spots then.
Ants do this
Maybe it's to add some supplies to their rations... you never know
Or they gonna eat em
@@darthpanda3654 The ones with arrows in them are like meals that come with toothpicks.
🏴 the first king who dies early is wearing possibly most bad ass war outfit in history of movies.
From a 3D graphics Animation point of view ....Whoa ! :O)
1:56 That moment where Spider-Man didn't come out to play
"who's idea was the crane corps?" *commander cowers in shame*
The guys who don't like women.
@@stevedrake1861 lol love it.
@@stevedrake1861 It could have the women's idea themselves.😂😂😂😂
3:02 Drums signal close combat AWESOME!
Seeing a monster with their eyes on their shoulder, and mouth on their nose...really baffles me.
That crane corps idea is the dumbest one i have seen yet. Too much risk for too little reward. Better unload burning oil on the monsters near the wall.
Yeah, but you wouldn't have seen those epic jumps
Yeah makes for a good movie ^^
What if you dont have oil .
Maximum risk, minimum reward, maximum cost, maximum effort.
@@zohaibsheikh5459 what if you don't have women soldiers willing to jump off a wall into a monster mosh pit . (One of these is significantly more disposable than the other)
Didn't they just said aim for the eyes 4:06
One of the best movies of all times
the movie might be bad but the hold the wall kind of scenario is just something that always gets me.
My biggest gripe is, if the monsters were always there how did they ever manage to build the wall?
nobody knows :D but i love this kind of movies, can you give me some recommendation?
The monsters out from the cave only each 60 years, so they have time to build the wall
@@gamehousemne6209 star ship troopers, Aliens, matrix revolutions, world war Z, the tomorrow war, edge of tomorrow, the mummy returns, I’ll think of more so prolly be edits
@@cmendr011 ive seen all of these 😅
@@gamehousemne6209 Lord of the Rings / The Hobbit, George A. Romero's Dead series, The Mist, 28 Days / Weeks Later, War of the Worlds, Army of Darkness, I Am Legend, Daybreakers, Legion, the Cloverfield series, the Planet of the Apes series, the Riddick series, Battle Los Angeles, Letters from Iwo Jima, Zulu
“Aim for the eyes”😂 like they got the accuracy to aim that far away
Not to mention we could see that just shooting them with arrows in general was effective, it didn't have to be the eyes that you hit.
😂😂😂😅
They might be elves😅
"But you know they used to call 'em nanny-dogs!"
Real noble of the dudes with the shields to just stay behind while the hundred of archers are eaten by the monster
The Crane Corp attack is awesome! Or you could just throw spears from above.
it is pointless they only take out 1 monsta at a time lol
That’s why they’re called suicide squad
That's what you call archers xD
The stupidest concept ever
Haha right??
5:28 did they just use a popping bubble sound when they hit the eye?
More like a samsung notification sound lol
Great Movie!!! I don't care if it was unrealistic. It was exciting and great fun. Have a good day.
Crazy how some of the blue fly girls were still going the entire time lol.
5:17 Hey Beep* 🤣
Language
Visually cool. Tactically abysmal.
Respect to the women on the drums they were actually helping signaling orders unlike the crane unit.
Can't believe they didn't use the gun powder to lay a series of remotely triggered explosive caches.
2:18 dude got an eagle eye vision.
3:04 they are so cute 😁😄
Them: "So long as we look cool it doesn't matter how many of us die!" Me: "So long as known of us die it doesn't matter how we look!"
half an hour they just fighting ONE Monster up there 😂 them others patiently waiting or what
truely a bing chilling moment 🥶
ههه٧ ٧٩٧. ز على ٠ح
@@user-ve8kp2bk3w ce
Jumping down to spike them in a battle must be the most inefficient movie battle idea I’ve seen yet.
But def. one of the coolest..
@@ryanr9299 The stupidity of it takes away any of the coolness it had.
Grand Cathay defending the Great Bastion from the Chaos Wastes.
0:24 TaoTei’s look a mix of Lion, giant Alligator, for body and angular fish when it comes to their fang like teeth
3:41 that much trouble just taking one down in close combat. but what about the other tens of thousands? 🤣
Shhhhhh you're puncturing all the layers of the movies plot armor
So that's where our military budget goes. Highly trained disposable bungie jumpers.
😂
Da fuq bro
If american movie happen the same thing you guys be like ,thats a good good movie.
@@rukshanjay5579 bro you are not understanding. He's already roasting them
@@user-ur3lj2gl4o oh is that so ,i didn't get that . i can point out every Hollywood movie and almost every movies pointless things. Movies vs reality two different things .so accept it .
Karabagh is the heart of Azerbaijan and in Yerevan we will get the historical land of Azerbaijan in Yerevan🇦🇿🇦🇿🇦🇿💪
I just noticed they beat the war drums with nunchucks 😂😂
Not only the crane troopers idea got greenlighted. It also got filmed, edited and left in the final product. And in no point through all of this someone thought this was too dumb to put on the film. Hell, i think even the monsters were confused by it
Show me Hindi dubbed movie
@@umeshbrijiya1977 even worse
Ah cayate jajaja que importa? Ya no chiyes
I agree with the two dudes at 1:00 Whats the point of bungee jumping to kill 2 monsters at a time? And it looks so dumb.
I like this movie, cool art direction. You can't think too much about efficiency or realism... it's like: Well, Frodo, take an eagle to Mordor and just drop that damn ring... -> that's no fun to watch. Same goes for the blue crane ladies, it doesn't make sense, but it looks badass.
red means stop, green means go, blue means food
"aim for the eyes!" *Literally thousands of frenzied creatures running over each other in a relatively small area at least 8-1200m away when he opened his mouth...*
I think the blue ones are there to take the attention of the beasts so they won't focus on climbing. The problem is their solution to that in the second attack is a lot more efficient.
Terrible way to die, similar to jumping into Lava. I mean how did those warriors even practised that?
Eyitim almam ihtiyacım olmaz eğitim veririm ben eyitirim terbiye ederim
@@words007 True there are better lure tactics than whatever the nameless order just did
Yes. The first one apparently was sloppy considering that the first one should always be the most effective because it is unexpected.
The blue uniform soldiers are like hanging toys for cats
1:25 imagine being that actress and watching this with your family and telling them: "hey look I'm being eating by a monster because I bungee jumped from the platform"
Good thing they had that crane corps, those monsters were hungry.
"Not for the towers aim for the trolls!" "Aim for the eyes" And the graphics. Good to see the spirit of PJ's LotR movies living on.
:-(
.nawa na hole 55 L pp a
Everyone literally on the brink of death… *decides to play drums
With freaking nunchucks lmao
LAY DOWN THEM SICK BEATS ...🤣😅😂
Play drum to give signal for the soldiers
🤦♂
Epic battle, loved it. Bungie jumping to your death ?
1:48 “William over there” Camera pans to Willem Dafoe