‘My mum's meeting my dad for the first time’ - BBC News
2019 ж. 21 Қыр.
272 535 Рет қаралды
Julia always knew her mums used a sperm donor. She didn’t know that meant she had 19 siblings - until now.
Follow her remarkable journey to discover her "very extended family".
Produced by the BBC's Hannah Long-Higgins and Ben Davis.
Filming and editing Hannah Long-Higgins; additional editing Nick Watson and Vara Szajkowski; audio Ben Davis; graphics Simon Martin.
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At least the Father won the genetic lottery, because his kids are gorgeous.
I just want to legitimately applause George for being a sibling that wants to make it a real family! He’s an amazing man by principle and that’s just wow to watch.
George is just one of those people you immediately love. The Great "Unifier".
I know this is a four year old video but I just wanted to say how soul touched I was when Julia’s mom said she felt a connection to Julia’s siblings! That a child could be loved so much that it could include the others just brought me to tears. What an exceptional human being! ❤
The beautiful moment for me is when she met her siblings. I could feel her happiness as well theirs.
@@Life_42 ever think she feels lost in the world because every eighteen-year-old feels that way? Duh, who knows them self at 8:18? Even with two traditional/straight parents? NOBODY
What an incredibly cute and nice young woman she is. Wish her all the best in life!
The thing I want to express here is how similar these kids are in terms of intelligence, socialization, genuine warmth and concern. They ARE already a family. Now they just need to get to know each other for a closer bond. Amazing story!
It can be overwhelming to donors to have a lot of donor children too. That’s why they should lower the family limits across the board and closely monitor them. It’s ridiculous to give one person 20+ children or siblings! 🙄
Keeping track of them is a bigger job, the more kids there are. You wouldn’t want a brother marrying a sister. This happened to two people I read about in high school while doing my term paper on the process of adoption.
I definitely viewed this video in a more positive way than you did.I’m so happy for all of those who found their biological dad. My dad died from suicide when I was 4, so these kids have a much better chance at feeling loved. I am happy for them 😊
yeah, i suppose when you are donor conceived you should ask your date wether he or she is also donor conceived
Indeed
I feel that God never intended this . Sorry if that upsets anyone , but I cannot change how I feel . The whole donor thing makes me extremely uncomfortable .
I just love her mom. What a beautiful soul
This is such a heartwarming video. Julia and her entire family seem to be beautiful human beings. I wish them every happiness.
I am struck by the beauty of them all and the fact they all seem very intelligent and decent people, reflecting the attitudes and demeanor of the Donor! I appreciate the integrity of the donor in that he openly and honestly assessed his feelings at the time he didn't the donation. Being just 19 years old, you would not expect him to think of it as a noble deed for mankind or anything like that.
I know a woman who donated her eggs once while she was in college. She needed money for books. She recently met the 25-year-old twins (a male and a female) that resulted from her donation. She says there are many similarities between them and her younger son, who is thrilled to have siblings.
Such a beautiful video! Julia is a testament to how wonderful her mothers must be
Wonderful? Deliberately denying a child a father is child abuse.
She was actually ...bcoz now she died
@@AlanWattResistanceAbsolutely agree. Crazy world. Depriving the kids from a natural family is a criminal offence.
My condolences to your family losing your other mom. We never get over the loss of a parent. You will always miss her, but the pain does ease. Big hugs.
Throughout human history many children lost parents in childhood. The fortunate ones found surrogate parents to provide them with both physical and emotional sustenance. The unlucky ones ended up in orphanages or worse. Raising a child with love and care in a healthy home could never be criminal. On the other hand, too many children living with their biological parents are abused - that, in fact, is criminal.
For the young woman who was egg donor and sperm donor conceived, think of it this way… “you were meant to be”….❤😊
My twin brother and I also grew up with two moms. Our dad got another girl pregnant while our mom was and chose to go with her. My brother and I will never forgive him seeing as our mom was 17 at the time and had just escaped her abusive grandparents and he left her there, 17 and pregnant with twins but we met our sisters and we love them to bits
You look like him but your mom is your family. She raised you. I love the siblings .they look like a cool crowd and i can see lifelong friendships being made
The mothers beautiful open questions to her daughter...wow!! What an amazing mom!
A dad is not someone who creates you. It's someone who raises you
Wrong!
@@ibrahimkuyumcu2649 that’s actually correct. A father is your sperm donor but the man who raises you is considered your dad
Your biological father is half of who you are. All have a right to know who their biological parents are. If it didn’t matter, you wouldn’t keep seeing stories like these. I bet the sibling connection will last a lifetime.
Maybe you are all wrong, maybe it is up to the individual person to decide.❤
Yes and no. As an adoptee - my Dad who raised me will always be my Dad. That said, he was not my biological father - who I searched for, and found, when I was in my 60's and he was in his 80's. I've met him and he and his family were welcoming. I always felt my Mom and Dad who raised me gave me my heart and my soul - my biological parents gave me my flesh and my blood. Others may feel differently - but I felt I needed both to feel complete.
My heart goes out to all the children searching for their bio parents.😢It must be so hard at times wondering about them. They need to regulate how many children can be conceived by one donor! This could all end very badly I love the way the children got together and I pray they can all find love in their large family!
One of my best friends donated eggs in college. She died abruptly a few years back. I just wonder how many biological children she may have out there. ❤
Respect to her for donating eggs. The process is not exactly easy, painless, fast, or fun!
Oh man I wish this was a whole movie so we could meet everyone. So cool thanks for sharing
It’s us
Thank you all for sharing your story. You are a beautiful family.
I hope you guys are all happy, families come in all shapes and sizes and I think it’s lovely you all found each other and added to your own families. I can’t even imagine what a family dinner or get together would be like if you all decided to have one together 😂 I hope you all have a great relationship together - whatever form that comes in ❤
15:55 It's a limit of 10 families, not 10 kids. It's a big difference. I'm in the UK and I have 22 half siblings from by a sperm donor.
How do you feel about sperm donation? Do you think it has caused you problems. Or are you OK with how everything went for you? Curious-I’ve never met a donor child.
@@sunnywintermorning1941 That's ok, I can answer that. Personally I'm very content with how I came to be, but I know that not everyone feels that way. For me it's what I've always known. My mum is a single mother by choice, I was raised by her and her father - my granddad - we all live together. Apparently when I started meeting other children and they had daddies, I asked if I had a daddy and my mum explained. I don't remember that though, I've known about it for as long as I can remember, and always known I could never meet him (he was anonymous). However I knew I might have half siblings that I could meet once I was 18 if they also wanted to, and when I was about 7 my mum enquired about them on my behalf, that was when I found out how many of each sex were born each year. I don't remember the exact details, but I remember there were about 21 or 22 in total, a good mix of boys and girls, and some younger some older. I turned 18 in January, but I haven't gotten around to applying to find them yet... I've been meaning to haha, just haven't gotten around to it yet. But yeah, I'm very happy with the way it is. Shortly after I was conceived, they changed the law in the UK so that sperm donors couldn't be anonymous. Personally I think they made the wrong decision with that. I've liked the certainty of always knowing that I would never know him, I think it would be so weird to meet him, or even know that I could and try and figure out how to decide that... I think if I had the choice and I chose not to I would always wonder, whereas knowing it's not possible I can easily dismiss it. My mum and my granddad are all I need for parental figures, and I just think it would be really weird... even though I guess he wouldn't really be a "dad" to me, I still think it would be really weird. On the other hand, I have always wanted siblings, and I'm really looking forward to meeting them. I think that's a lot less weird, as we're equals, and also they weren't in any way involved in creating me. I think meeting some stranger whose decision was essential for me to exist would be super trippy. I like him feeling almost hypothetical. I like the way I've grown up so much, that I think I also want to have children through an anonymous sperm donor... which as things stand now I guess I'd have to go to another country for, which is really a pain. For me personally I feel that having children is something so important that I would hate to share parental rights with anyone else... if tough decisions have to be made, I want them to be mine to make (along with the child if they're old enough). I couldn't bare someone else having any kind of rights to my children. I've known people for whom that has gone very badly. Obviously a donor wouldn't have any rights, but they are still the biological father, which I think does mean something, and I'd also like them to grow up with the certainty that I had, to know who your family are and be able to easily dismiss this anonymous hypothetical figure, and not have to grapple with possibly one way actually knowing them. Any further questions are welcome. 😊I actually quite like talking about it.
@@conlon4332 thanks very much for a thoughtful & kind reply. You’re clearly a very intelligent young woman; so very mature for your young age. As this is social media, I had no idea I was writing to someone so young. I’m old enough to be your father; although a youngish father. I’m an oldish father to very young children. I’m fairly traditional, so we’re very different. I think of traditional marriage as being the best institution to raise children in. I didn’t want to father a child before marriage. Raising children in lifelong partnership with the other parent seems best to me. I think knowing one’s parentage is a moral right. But I certainly respect your alternative views coming from your background. You’ve been through and will experience stuff really alien to me, that without your experience I cannot fully understand. Wishing you the very best of luck. God bless.
@@sunnywintermorning1941 Thank you for such a sweet reply! I hope your children are doing well. I loved growing up in a multi-generational household, and I hope my mum will be to my children like my granddad was to me. I'm also not opposed to having a life partner one day if I find someone I want to spend my life with, just not somebody who has rights to my children. Maybe someone who has kids of their own so we can raise them side by side. That's all very hypothetical though as I'm very single right now. But for me finding a person is a separate issue to being ready for children. I've always known I want children, I remember in early primary school telling a friend I definitely wanted children, and that's never changed. I really wanted a younger sibling, but that wasn't up to me and my mum didn't, but having kids of my own is up to me and something I definitely want to do. I'm not in a position to yet, but I'm hoping maybe mid twenties if everything goes as planned... but things often don't haha so we'll see! Anyways God bless you too.
This is just soooooooo adorably sweet. I am so touched by this video and so happy for these children who are adults now.
We all have a journey, most of it we have no say in. I was adopted and only had the chance to meet my dad once before he passed away. I definitely relate to the girl who has 2 donor parents. I love my adopted family and my birth family. I even Got to have a sister night last night with some of my half sisters! Finding where you biologically come from is a tough road, so happy to see she has the bond with the siblings! Thanks Julia for the honor of witnessing you and your journey 💜
Everyone has an human right to know who their biological parents, siblings, and family are.
Yes, Indeed!
Family is not blood ties, it's loyalty shared experience and love.
@relocatetoItaly But that doesn’t take away from what OP said&It also doesn’t mean anyone has the right to design families whereby the child has no idea where they come from. Surely that’s a human right ideally. I can’t imagine hearing from my parent ‘I was strapped for cash is why I donated my sperm’. Not that it takes away from the daughters existence- she’s obviously wanted by the mothers, but it’s just not fair imo creating these un-ideal circumstances! Loads of kids exist that could be adopted so to me, using sperm or egg donations is narcissism as they put their insistence on passing on their genes over actually giving a child a wonderful life! And using donor egg or sperm (especially anonymous!!) immediately takes away a relationship of a mother/father. Creating these circumstances is SELFISH, even if they are good parents !!!!
Just like the poor girl born of double donors said!! I don’t blame her- she felt her existence was forced. It’s sad and not ideal but
The rainbow community does not think so...
As the donor said " family is such a broad term"
Interesting video which made me have mixed feelings. Happy that the young woman was able to meet her donor father and her half-siblings. But now people have to be even more careful about with whom they have children as they may actually be closely related.
Such an incredibly heartwarming story; many can feel these same sentiments while actually being conceived by "parental units". This is a bigger, more unifying story of personal identity, and the heart. Bravo to all xo
George was just so great , really feel for them as hard to get your head around ..but being loved is the most important thing ,Having your biological parent around if they do not get on can be a nightmare ..as George says this could be the thing of the future ..I wish them all happiness and that they can build their own foundation of strength as well as the love of the person that brought them up .
This video really goes to show more than anything that children can be raised by two same sex parents and be well balanced and very content
If well balanced, they wouldn't be " searching" and excited to meet siblings.Listen keenly to Samantha, that's the underlying truth.
Same Sex parenting is evil and unholy..un Biblical. If it was "normal" she wouldn't be doing what she's doing . The cities of Sodom and Gomorrah were practicing Homosexualiry And were burned down for their actions .escape from such sin of homosexuality when you still can
She literally said she blamed her parents for most of her life and even wished she wasn't born. The happy well balanced person you say you see is held together by sheer will to accept and cope. I imagine not many are as lucky. Let's not gloss over truths to appease our wishes. The only ones who get hurt when we are this naive and irresponsible are the kids.
@@Opo-D Fascinating. I was raised by my natural mother and father. They hated each other and my existence too. I’ve seen far happier kids raised by same sex parents. The mother father nonsense you’re portraying is a fantasy world.
@@Opo-D That was the other girl.
All these children in young age are amazingly good looking 👌🏼❤️
I do hope that all the children in the story will find good loving and kind partners of their own and continue to have a happy and fulfilling life.
Your dad is your dad no one can replace that. And I feel bad for all people who did not had the chance to have a dad.
Genetics play a big role. From experience, you don’t have to be raised by someone to turn out like them. It was good to see the donor dad was kind, trying to figure his feelings in the whole thing. And knowing his donor children were all smart, kind.. etc. ❤
Thank you Julia for sharing your life and journey to date. You have such an amazing capacity to stretch and grow with all your new family. Seeing you with your mom and dad (Dan the donor) is wonderfully heart warming. Life is truly amazing ❤
Darren is the donor's guys name. Weird he didn't even give her a decent hug.
Beautiful story…feeling the warmth and love in such an unusual circumstance…mysterious …what a gift of life!!!
Genetics are a lot more powerful than most people realize. They recognize each other because they are each other. The one girl who was the product of two donors lived with the reality of that until she et the siblings. Really sweet for all of them that they got to meet.
There is a chance out there that there could be married siblings due to this donor thing.
Such an adorable young lady! I love how strong her mother is being there for her ❤
Wow. Unexpectedly interesting. I thought it was about one donor and one egg. But this is very interesting and emotional to see all the diblings. Very cute. And my favorite George is such a darling. Wishing them all the best.
What a beautiful family! So diverse and awesome.
They are so very blessed!!! I would have done anything to have a mother who wanted me.
I would have loved to have parents that wanted me and loved me, and parents that cared for each other and for their kids and treated them well and parents that stayed together. I guess you can't have everything you want. I also have an older half sibling that was left by my dad, and she has two sons, and I connected with her when she had her first kid, and knew both her kids when they were young, it was beautiful. But life happened and everything got twisted and ugly, and now only my brother has contact with her and one of her kids. And our family looks like we are functioning, but it's a very dysfunctional family. My siblings don't want to talk about it, and no one outside our family really understands, or care.
This is a mom sending you a hug. My kid was loved to bits and had lots of self confidence growing up. May you meet some adults who can be stand in parents. I got stand in story book kind grandparents and it was lovely.
@@user-vg6pj2my2n Thank you so much! It's love that is needed and hugs. I try to give it to my kids as much as I can. But I am damaged goods, and I do mistakes and fall in to depression. It's not easy.
This ouch a wonderful story, so very, deeply touching. Thank you!
i swear this could have been a nice movie omg
Lol India made it. Called Vicki donor
Alll this just makes me emotional
Warning - the comments are a shit show of hate!
Huh. I wonder what changed in 4 years. They're all full of love now.
Girl has so much love for her father the way she saw her
Wow! Very cool to meet all those brothers and sisters!
That dad hug was .. I dunno.. just glad the brothers and sisters are there for each other. Amazing kids
I wanted some much for the dad to give Julia a really warm , two arm , hug and say some deeper , perhaps more sentimental words. To him , it might make him feel sort of disloyal to the children he has raised, but I believe over time all those discomforts could melt away. I applaud everyone who participated in this video. They are family.
Maybe its too overwhelming for him to have that many children.
I got the feeling he doesn't view them as his children and that's understandable. His job was never to be their dad, that's who he is for the children he had with his partner.
@@sharondoan1447 I understand that you feel that way, but that's not a sperm donor's job. He is not their family and he is not their Dad. I think he made that point quite gently but firmly nonetheless. His children with his partner are his family. All these kids were raised in a family that was created with the help of the sperm donor, but he is not a part of it.
Great video! Touching family story. Wish them all the best.
This is a beautifully made video.
How awesome is your story!! Such an adventure! Blessings! ❤
that girl is staring at his biological dad， it is interesting first time met the man born you, and they should have so many common characters
This was so interesting! What a surprise to see this very attractive young woman meeting half-brothers and sisters who were also very attractive, friendly, intelligent people. It's the modern age, and there's something wonderful about it. I also loved seeing Julia's mom and the donor interact and talk about the beauty of these kids. He was a very nice man; her mom is also extremely nice. They learned a lot about Julia's biological dad in one short meeting, and it was well worth the time and effort, because now Julia has a father person to remember: a very thoughtful, intelligent, gentle man. I hope Julia is able to process these truths and get on with living a great life. She is lovely!
This was a wonderful look into a subject that has always intrigued me. Great story.
I'm so glad that diblings can now meet each other. Firstly, for that sense of connection and belonging, but also to avoid the potential of two meeting, marrying, and reproducing without knowing their DNA connection. I hope that Julia's family continues to grow to its full potential and she meets them all.
I agree with the people here that sugest it would be a good idea to regulate the amount of donations. Its no longer healthy to deal with 20++ siblings (and their Families and other siblings in that Families.. Thats just too much to deal with.And I mean everybody involved!
It’s such a lovely story
The girl doesn't look happy when she was sitting there with both her biological parents. I think she feels cheated.
As a mother and woman from Massachusetts, it feeds my soul to see other beautiful humans out there that make me proud to be a part of this place. 🥳🥳😽🐾
Dad is intelligent and good-looking enough, so it all worked out well.
¿Dónde lo puedo ver subtitulado?
What a lovely young lady!
Thank you for sharing your story.
Am happy for the dipplings to find each other
22:16 I know it should be obvious since the daughter is biologically related to both but she resembles her parents so much.
I think he turned out to be a good donor in a way because his DNA doesn't seem dominant. None of the kids look like him, Julia is the closest.
No..Samantha looks like him only
Enough with the chopping onions. What a beautiful story.
They are all beautiful.
He is avoiding to interact with her. Awkward. She is such a smart, beautiful girl and a sweet soul. He said „I’m busy with my own children.“ Well. We live in a strange world where women become mothers knowing these children will grow up in an identity gap. Also donors know what it means. Her sadness and confusion at the end tells it all. I wish her to meet him again without cameras.
Donors have a right not to be involved. Not his problem at the end of the day
no child should ever have to suffer two moms or two dads, it's mental abuse
and that includes mum's new boyfriend(s) in heterosexual relationships
@@JimmyKillem69 but that gives them an opportunity to have a good life
@@GlowandLuna it's kind of sad that people think orphans should have to settle for something that's just less terrible than their current situation orphans should get the best families and the system needs to be completely overhauled so that they can have good lives without ever finding a family
Weird and wonderful. Thanks for this!
She is gorgeous!
That girl is REALLY pretty 😍💕
Bad ass. Simply awesome
Nice work BBC
I feel so bad for this young woman. I hope she finds healing. ❤️🩹
I’m not watching this bc I’m busy but it came up on my feed and I saw the redhead girl and I wanted to say that girl is totally gorgeous! People don’t always compliment like they should. She’s really beautiful. ❤
she looks entirely like her mom. she looks nothing like her bio dad... I wonder if that feels comforting
I am glad that I never donated. I would worry about my offspring. I am glad this option is available for those that cannot conceive. I can never imagine trying to explain to my children that they have siblings our there because I needed the money.
To Samantha: I think you were totally supposed to exist: The egg was there, waiting for its chance. The samen was there waiting for its turn. They were not artificial, they were there, part of the body and nature.
She made me the saddest😢 Hope they find a way of keeping the bond
"Vicky Donor" is a Bollywood film directed by Shoojit Sircar, released in 2012. It revolves around the concept of sperm donation and its societal implications, with humor and drama intertwined.
Her mom was beautiful.. Her biological dad isn't that especial. She took her beauty from her mom. And she looked like Taylor ..love her kindness 💗
I just made the same comment about her looking like Taylor
Same i want to right this but she is more beautiful than Taylor swift
Beautiful story ❤
Beautiful story❤
What a trip ... a beautiful one. Nothing wrong with more joy through more connections. ❤🙏💫💥🌱🌎
I’m glad that they are willing to connect with their half siblings . I can see their bright smiles meeting their half siblings and I hope that it will helped each of them in a positive way ❤ in whatever way you're conceive God made it possible. He is the source of life.
"wanting a child so bad" is so not fair on the child, is it
We were drunk and had unprotected sex that resulted in "you" is fair?
No
You all have a beautiful smile♡
Samantha is so adorable ❤️
anna elsa samantha
This is sad 😢
They are all just beautiful.
Lovely to watch ❤
Thought provoking!
Lol last time I meet my biological father was 3 when my mum divorced
@Sam Lauwchenko Dont mind many Fathers fail nd God will ask them...A committed Dad will never leave.
Ah, hilarious.
@Sam Lauwchenko He probably did look for you and he will definitely have thought about you. Hope you're good.
Just fascinating. I had never thought about this aspect of donation. And all of the kids we have seen are absolutely wonderful - intelligent, articulate, and beautiful/handsome but then the father is all of those things too!
Did he meet tge others? Where is the episode?
As an African with zero sperm donor clinics/options/laws etc in my country - watching something like this blows my mind. Adoptions are what is common here since abortion is illegal. It seems sad what these kids have to conceptualize as family. Our situation is a different kind of sad (you might say). This is sweet I guess, for the mothers, but so sad for the kids. Selfish for sure. They must get what they want. It's so important that this adult need is met for them. Since it's okay for them, the kids should just deal. They will receive parental love and that should suffice. I guess the adults feelings matter most above all. If the kids struggle, forgive and accept, they're sweet. If they struggle and don't forgive, they're probably ungrateful. "You're chosen, you're loved, can't you see you're our blessing? be happy." 😢 Struggle, you may - But what's that compared to the joy you bring your parents huh? 🥹 😌
Which African country, because I bet they're there but probably not as common
I am a U.S. citizen who is deeply ashamed of some of the "advancements" of U.S. society. It's absolute greed and degeneracy. The selfishness is of an enormous intensity. Unbearable. I am glad for your country. Stay natural family oriented. Deviance only leads to more deviance. 😢
Darren's offspring are good looking people. I actually thought he would be better looking himself. He's average.
Rip two 2st mom so sad Rip
Interesting documentation. I just thought about the french movie "Starbuck" ...
I still have to watch that. Thanks for the reminder.
Love this family