The Dark Side of Helping Others | 13 Surprising Ways It Can Harm You | Buddhist Zen Story
Title: ''The Dark Side of Helping Others | 13 Surprising Ways It Can Harm You | Buddhist Zen Story''
Description:
"Explore the hidden risks of helping others in this eye-opening video. From compassion fatigue to neglecting personal needs, learn how to navigate the complexities of altruism while preserving your own well-being. Watch now to discover essential strategies for sustainable and meaningful assistance."
Tags:
#ZenWisdom #ZenBuddhism #BuddhismHub
Timestamps:
00:00✅Introductory quote of Gautama Buddha
01:06✅[Number 1: The Martyr Syndrome]
03:01✅[Number 2: Dependency Issues]
05:08✅[Number 3: Emotional Drain]
07:21✅[Number 4: Enabling Destructive Behavior]
09:14✅[Number 5: Loss of Identity]
11:27✅[Number 6: Financial Strain]
13:33✅[Number 7: Neglecting Personal Needs]
15:47✅[Number 8: Resentment and Bitterness]
18:12✅[Number 9: Impact on Relationships]
20:39✅[Number 10: Compassion Fatigue]
23:12✅[Number 11: Unrealistic Expectations]
25:31✅[Number 12: Self-Neglect]
27:35✅[Number 13: Overlooking Red Flags]
30:15✅Conclusion
Disclaimer: The materials and the information available on this channel are intended for general and educational purposes only. All the videos, and pictures (99% of the images are created and generated by me, they are all unique to this channel) I use in my videos have a license that allows commercial use of them. The faces of the characters shown here are all fictional created by me and do not represent anyone in the real world.
Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for 'Fair Use' for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research, Fair use is permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational, or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.
Thanks for being with us!
Timestamps: 00:00✅Introductory quote of Gautama Buddha 01:06✅[Number 1: The Martyr Syndrome] 03:01✅[Number 2: Dependency Issues] 05:08✅[Number 3: Emotional Drain] 07:21✅[Number 4: Enabling Destructive Behavior] 09:14✅[Number 5: Loss of Identity] 11:27✅[Number 6: Financial Strain] 13:33✅[Number 7: Neglecting Personal Needs] 15:47✅[Number 8: Resentment and Bitterness] 18:12✅[Number 9: Impact on Relationships] 20:39✅[Number 10: Compassion Fatigue] 23:12✅[Number 11: Unrealistic Expectations] 25:31✅[Number 12: Self-Neglect] 27:35✅[Number 13: Overlooking Red Flags] 30:15✅Conclusion
Galatians 6:9 And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.
Lots of repetitive sequences and bizarre spellings. Why? The message is clear, good and pretty much needed, though. Thank you
It appears to be A.I.@@adoa77
It's called A.I @@adoa77
I found this channel a little late. 20yrs I have been working hard for my family and relatives.. Now every one is well settled and I am left out all alone with nothing. I am working on myself and my business. Thank you God for all the life lessons😌🙏🙏
Welcome aboard! ❤️🙏
Same here!😢
Ask for help from the people who you have helped! I know... crickets.
Yes is very common this ,same here ,but I forgive those family members,I pray for them one day realize what they done and become better persons for a future ❤
Same here
I had learned these lessons once I understood that I was brought up to be a people pleaser. Now I prioritize me. There’s no other way.
❤️🙏
spoken like a true narcissist. good thing for you that your parents did not do that.
@@sasachiminesh1204 Seems a bit extreme. We are in charge of our own minds and hearts. I surmise that our empathy is the source of all of our wisdom. But the path of our own heart is perilous in the face of our ignorance. I say charity starts at home. With ourself. So we may act with equanimity and kindness. Is Buddhism about selflessness or selfishness or is it about both? This presentation would show correlation between Buddhism and Stoicism. To become a trained people pleaser has an up side and down side and this information is very helpful. If we find ourselves begrudging our own kindness then it is a sign of our own disease. The answer is not in self flagellation.
Haha stupid ignorant people
Where is your Purpose now? Does selfishness bring Happiness? Truly?
Never pour from an empty cup. Make sure your cup is full first, whatever overflows, that you can donate to others. Your life is precious. You were not born to sacrifice your life for another to thrive.
❤️🙏
Well said.Reality should not be ignored
❤❤❤❤
I wrote these wise and beautiful words in my diary! Very grateful for this comment. I learned through my experience that helping others while you are also in need of help is a very bad idea.
it's the same principle as "put on you own oxygen mask first'.......you can't halp anyone if you don't .......think about it...
I couldn't agree more. Never again will I put others ' needs before mine. I was drained financially, emotionally, physically, spiritually. I can't rely on people whom I had helped. They never learned from our past, instead kept doing same thing over and over. 😢
❤️🙏
Same too😢
Right? I give and give and when I ask for one little thing...crickets
OMG that part “they don’t learn and keep doing the same thing” . I have rescued myself from my own challenges no one rescued me and find that l have to rescue them too now that am stable😓
This is a very valuable advice. I wish I had heard this 50 years ago. I have sacrificed my own life and that of my family by overhelping others and neglecting my own family. I am going to change my way of thinking and acting. Thank you for opening my eyes and mind to the realities of life.
🙏❤️
Me too 😓 and I only received trouble trouble trouble betrayal etc etc. We cannot go back in time to erase and correct our mistakes but from now on I can only help my own self and my adult Sons and grandchildren, to the extent of what is possible and coherent. Also stop feeling guilty and angry at myself (easier said than done), 30 - 40 years ago we couldn't know what we know today. We evolved and have so much more experience and a clearer vision.
Story of my life 😢😊
This is my life 50 years ago thank you for sharing this... God bless🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Relate much❤
There is no greater joy than the feeling I get helping people in need without expecting any praise or anything in return. The more I have given, the more I have been blessed.
God Bless You
True. Same thinking ❤
God bless you more. We blessed to bless others
Same here, I can’t afford not to help if the person or people needs my help.
Of course if only yourself involved. But when you start having children, you have to put your husband/ wife and children first, never give on their expense, many times it is the ego giving and the ego does not have the wisdom from some who really needs help from someone greedy who only want to take take from an other without caring at all about the others loss.
I wish I had learned these lessons a long time ago. I’m finally saving myself; at 49! There are people in this world whose sole objective is to be parasitic. They see others like myself as a host to prey on. I hope this video goes viral.
Thank You ❤️🙏
Me too
True!
Very true, it happened to me, between a demanding boss and an ungrateful partner. Protect yourself, learn to say NO.
❤️🙏
This is such important advice. I looked after my mother from the age of twelve, looked after brothers and sister, now have a husband to care for 24/7 and couldn't work out why I felt depressed. I felt lost and exhausted until I realised I needed to look after ME.
🙏❤️
The more I give, the more I receive. Thank you God for 😮your blessings on me.
Wonderful! ❤️🙏
God bless you 🙏🏼 Let's be GREATFUL, not SELFISH
Bullshit
But me I never received
@@faridahmaghanga2070 Do you pray 🙏🏼 ? Do you feel a conecction with God ? Do you feel God in your ♥️ ? Pray 🙏🏼 Be thankful 🙏🏼 And you will see The angels are always watching us . They know everything 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
If u can, help others... hidden luck will come to u. U think nobody knows your kindness.. but the truth is the universe knows your kindness and give it back to u using the same ways that u expect or different ways that u never expect
❤️🙏
❤❤❤
Here in the west unfortunately people see kindness as weakness
❤️🙏
Helping others constantly (specially economically) gets you their hatred because your help is telling them in a masked way “you can’t, you’re useless, you are hopeless”. Period.
❤️🙏
My wife has been watering plants at the neighbors for about 30 years when they were on vacation. She didn't want to do that anymore. The nearest neighbor got angry because she didn't want to do it anymore. Unbelievable, that's how people can be. Only one's own interest counts. Those who are too nice are taken advantage of and people only respect money..... not the person
I discovered you can throw as much money as you want at the problem. It never works.
Helped my two kids through prestigious colleges. Helped them get situated after graduation. They cursed me out and vowed never to speak to me again. So much for being a loving, caring, and supportive father…Still love them even though I’ll probably never see them again. I hope and pray I will though. In the end, I’ll always know I did the best I could for them and that’ll have to be satisfaction enough for me.
I think the darkest side of helping others is when we do so in order to gain some kind of egoistic value for ourselves, especially when we don't realize we're doing it for that reason.
🙏❤️
If you are a Buddhist you might be interested with what I have to say. This is sort of out of topic here. I do research on how Buddhism disappeared in Bihar. I realized it never disappeared from Bihar. Buddhists simply failed to research Indian Buddhism. They looked at Buddhism through the sphere of their own cultures searching for only the Buddha. Buddha had a myriad of names in different villages according to his teachings there. Example. His favorite teaching was 'Lust and desire causes pain. Remove lust and desire, and pain is removed'. Translated into Bihari (where the Buddha story took place) it is DHUKH HARAN meaning to remove dukha. Three dozen villages pray to DUKH HARAN Baba. Its clear that DUKH HARAN Baba is none other than the Buddha. Problem is Buddhists are searching only for the Buddha. In the real Vaishali the Buddha begged for alms. The locals there pray to 'BHIKHAINI' Baba (Beggar Baba). Bhikhaini was mispronounced by Buddhists as Bhikshu. Who is BHIKHAINI Baba. The Buddha no doubt. But people are searching for a man called Buddha. In the real Vaishali, in Beluha the Buddha suffered a sickness and felt he had grown old. The locals pray to 'BURHA' Baba (Old Baba). Who is BURHA Baba. The Buddha no doubt. In the real Vaishali the Lichavies pressurized Buddha not to die. They trailed him to Bandagawan pressurizing him not to die. To put pressure in Hindi is DABESHWAR. Three dozen villages around the stupa where Buddha gave the Lichavies his patra, the villagers pray to Baba 'DABESHWAR NATH' meaning the man who won the pressurizing game. It was the the Buddha no doubt as he gave the Lichavies his patra and succeded in sending them back. But Buddhists are searching for the Buddha. In Pidhauli (Vaishali) the local deity is Bardiha Baba. Bardiha means the Baba who didn't allow us to stay where he was staying. Bardiha Baba is the Buddha no doubt because he didn't allow the crowd of Lichavies to stay with him in Bandagama. Forgive me for commenting out of the topic. I just wanted to impart this information to you.
I disagree ...when I help someone...I feel happy .
@@user-ci1eh3ip7s I agree with you
@@user-ci1eh3ip7syeah, that's the point of the post. It feeds your ego. You are using others to feel something instead of fostering happiness from within
So valuable message that the sufferer only can understand. I did almost everything for my brothers and sisters for last more than 30 years , now they do all conspiracies against me as I am not able to support them anymore.
❤️🙏
Yes only the sufferer can understand . But you are not the 1st nor the last. Always good to understand.
We still need to help each other we just need to take care of yourself more
right
i see someone can think for themselves. good for you.
Well said
This is the right thing.
Have to learn to say no
Damn nothing but the honest truth I spent my entire life helping others,sending money to people, buying stuff including air tickets 🎫 to family members etc. Until one day,I realized that there was no water in my house and I can no longer use my bathroom and no body cared because all they needed is financial support. And when I decided to say enough is enough,I became the greatest enemy of the people including my own family members no one talks to me anymore and no one calls me or sends messages just to find out how I’m doing. Thank you for this information I rather stick to my grounds and say no.
❤️🙏
Yes, it is very hurtful when they do this. They have used us while they could and then ditched us when we said "No." We feel your pain.. Stick to your new way of life.... We used to cook jam and everyone had their hands out for jam every year. This went on for years, until we were very ill. We rang them and asked them to do the jam that year, and no one showed up. The fruit went rotten on the ground. Only one person hung around when we were very ill, the rest didn't even show up. That one person wasn't a jam maker, but helpful in many other ways. When we recovered our health and made jam, they came around with their hands out. They were told to Foff.
No is a complete sentence and my favorite word to use.
went from helping my dad who passed last year from Parkinson’s/dementia for 7 years while working construction was A LOT. I am still tired .I had NO help from anybody. “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” more like “what doesn’t kill you depletes ur brain of every chemical it needs to function properly. God Bless anyone going through this I pray for you I really do and send nothing but positive vibes✌🏼✨✨✨🌍👁️🙏 LOVE
❤️🙏
❤️🙏♥️
Read many years ago to never interfere with another person´s karma, has not forgotten.
🙏🙏❤️
Agree. Helping someone might interfere with their karma (what many might not understand).
@@BuddhismHub If the person doesn’t share your religious beliefs they don’t understand thats true. However Others have their own religious beliefs and they should be respected just as well as your own religious beliefs. I was renting an apartment from a Buddhist owner. I paid my rent on time. However my lease stipulated a screen for my upstairs balcony door. For 10 months every time I went in to pay the rent I asked and the manager always told me the same thing they had to order one. Fast forward people who moved into apartments that didn’t have screen on their balcony doors they were given one. However all they were doing from me was collecting money. The air conditioner was blowing in dust and had a moldy stinky odor. I went out myself and bought filters for the air conditioner yet it didn’t help much because the system needed professional cleaning. I ended up having to break the lease after 10 months there it was a 12 month lease because I was getting sick from breathing the stuff coming in I got so sick I couldn’t leave my apartment for two months. I live in a hot climate area. After I moved they accused me of breaking the lease. In the Buddhists belief because I moved out I should receive a bad karma?? Then what should the landlord and his rental off receive according to karma? I think they broke the lease by not giving me what I was paying for but collecting my money and jeopardizing my health. Mark you I had a small dog that was healthy and when I moved there he got sick and died he was only 5 years old. I think he died from breathing in the stuff that was coming out that made me sick also. Two of my neighbors in two separate apartments in the building we were in only 3 units someone died from each apartment causing their family members to move out. Also the first two months I was there I couldn’t cook because they had a horrible cock roach infestation I had to buy the stuff to kill the bugs before I could cook it was full of babies. Aren’t Buddhists taught to treat people right since they believe in karma?? Or do they believe it’s ok because karma will only go to the no. Buddhists. That was the worst place I ever lived. The owner was a greedy man who just wanted money.
Agree
Ture. I prayed sincerely for a child stricken with leukemia. She is my student. I prayed every day. A year later, she survived, and my daughter committed suicide. I saved a life by sacrificing my own.
Do not ever help someone who is requesting your help for his or her own ends at your expense. I chose this path once to help someone who did not want help but rather wanted to use me and sidetrack my path. I deviated from my own path that it caused me years of disorientation, confusion, suffering, mental and physical health decline, strain on family relationships, and other problems. It was my worse mistake. Help someone in pain or an animal that is dying, but not a narcissist who has evil motives.
❤️🙏
Am suffering due to this , hope I will recover from this anxiety and confusion
Just two nights ago from me viewing this- I was at a gas station at night. Out of nowhere a woman called to me and asked for a ride downtown. Her friend abandoned her there. She was older, not very mobile. I was hesitant because what if she has bed bugs and so on, not to be mean but reality. I thought about Uber but ultimately took her. She was hungry, so we wnt to McDonald’s - that was $11. I thought alright, did a decent deed. Then she asks me to spare her $20 - CRIPES she has not problem asking for things does she? I don’t do cash and shut that down, ut told her were to get supplemental food for free and a free hot lunch everyday. So - yes SET BOUNDARIES because many don’t and have no problem moving your boundaries to their advantage. Don’t feel bad, you work hard for your money at least I do so don’t forget to be charitable to yourself.
🙏❤️
You did more than you should have. I help people but I don’t give rides to anyone it’s not safe. Because sometimes the bad people send other people to you. I am glad that was not this case.🙏❤️. What I found out too is use your intuition when you are helping someone if it doesn’t feel right don’t do it.
You will be rewarded as you did a good karma. Your good air is like a boomerang it will bounce back to you. I know even your family members try to exploit you too.
Dangerous to let anyone in your car, give rides to someone you don’t know. They can accuse you of anything, then it’s their word against yours.
@@Titian328 That’s very true what you wrote. Even people can put their children up to lie on you. So I don’t give people rides and I don’t babysit peoples children. I see all the horror stories in the news one must protect themselves and that means setting boundaries.
This is exactly 💯 talking about my life journey. In the end "it was never appreciated". I am now learning, to pour the love into myself. And I am also, learning to say NO. .. at certain times. I still, help whenever I can. But, not as I use to in the past. Cos' it made me neglect my own personal needs, and goals for years. Unfortunately, growing up in the wrong religion made me believe I need to sacrifice my own happiness to make others happy.😢
❤️🙏
Islam isn’t it?? They want you scarify your life for them while they do nothing !
Me too been helping others my whole life and putting them first. Got me surrounded and manipulated by narcissists for last 8 ish years. I’m learning my lesson.
🙏❤️
Same here, 38 years for me. Narcissist can act and cry very well, went all out to help to find out that it was a plot. Never took pity on anyone again.
The thing I’ve learned to watch out for is mirroring me, if I see them doing that. Alarm bells go, but I’ve realised once I notice it, I can then Kew myself protected but get loads of info out of them, always find the good in all the bad. Take care people.
I have spent the last ten years rescuing dogs, building my sanctuary. it has rendered me penniless. i just cant go by an injured or sick stray, and thejoy i get seeing them healing is priceless.
🙏❤️
Let's be GRATEFUL 🙏🏼 not SELFISH 🤮 The BLESSINGS. Comes from HEAVEN 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
🙏❤️
I wish 30 years ago, i heard this video, but its not too late i think to learned all what is being said in this contents, opened up my eyes, ohh well, i will love and care for myself FIRST before others...thank you CREATOR OF THIS VIDEO..MORE POWER TO THIS CHANNEL ❤❤❤❤
❤️🙏
I'm not helping anyone anymore until I'm alright. That's it. 😊
Good 🙏❤️
Oops it's ME after I stopped nobody talking to me now but it's okay... thank you for this video.
Most welcome ❤️🙏
Exactly! It’s sad. It happened to me too.
We cant ! There is no way we will turn our back on our children especially this time of life when everything is expensive. The price of gas, foods, tuition fees, rent, hydro, water, gas, etc. How can Millennials and Gen Z can afford to have a start in life without any help from parents. It’s the most sensitive stage of their life. This is the time they’re in need the most of our love, time, and money. Helping others doesn’t require anything in return. You do it from the heart. If you are not able to help, then don’t do it! It doesn’t have to be a struggle. Bless Up and Happy Sunday!❤❤❤
❤️🙏
I myself come from Tibetan Buddhist culture and there we say that helping other should come from your deepest hearth and dedication, without expectation and with a positive motivation and wath the result will be, is not in your hand. My personal meaning is, that In now time the peopel who asked allways something from others without respecting the Donners resource, should learn more them self to set the boundary , then the helpers, whos motivation is to help in “need”. I supported a medical project 15 years in Tibet and I do not regret one day of it to have done, even it was not always easy. I see it as my karmic diuty to help others. 🙏
❤️🙏
Your way is THE way. Thank you.
@@user-gg2zw3mc2l I don't think there's one way. There are many ways depending on the frequency you hold. There are many people who have not much insight and been conditioned to be like the martyr and they will be taken advantage of. They don't even know how to set boundaries. For them its a good teaching. For those who have done more spiritual work and hold a high frequency or at the least their energy chakras are more balanced, for them its a good thing to be altruistic.
Hello … Thanks for your response, an’ I understand what you’re saying … however, (I had a longer response but deleted it because I prefer to avoid the possibility of hurting your feelings) Whatever you or anyone here believes is fine with me. The motto that guides me is "If you tell the truth, delete it as soon as possible". I initially had to say something about my holy advisor Christ. It wasn't just about me. Peace….
"Dont help anyone!" I have never heard of such teaching in Buddhism. ✌🏻🧡
🙏❤️
Thank God I always put 10% of all my earnings into fix deposit before all else 😂...am the priority and I've never been disappointed ❤
So true! ❤️🙏
All of life is AN EXCHANGE. I cannot help anyone without expecting reciprocation. That's how I take care of myself. If there's no exchange, I send them on their way.
❤️🙏
Learned a lot from here. Now I need to take care of myself and recognize my limitations. Need to relax
yes, need to relax
I'm living a simple life. I struggled with depression and lack of existential value for years. When Covid started i decided to make a small change in someones life and do something about my own situation as well. Now a small family of 3 on the other side of the world can live in a house with a proper roof and have a meal every day. I may not have a car or travel on wacations, but i have gotten a new family and a purpose in life. When i reflect on it, i'm not sure who is helping who.
❤️🙏
Wonderful, helping makes so much difference in someone’s life, they are struggling, they have hope through you , if we keep all our money than it has no value it’s just paper, money comes and goes ♥️🌷♥️🌷♥️
I've helped but also been helped by others❤
❤️🙏
This is Buddhism and psychology against Biblical principles. It is always good to know when to draw the line. Thanks
🙏❤️
I go by the "good samaritan", meaning i help anyone who needs my help but i also go by "Give man a fish, but teach him how to fish." - this is what my family and teachers taught me growing up, in that way the one helping "his/her kindness" won't get abused by oppurtunist. ✌️
🙏❤️
Choose people to help. Know them and their story. Period
I wish I had known this earlier I did a lot but got no gratitude 😢
❤️🙏
❤🙏
If you dont help anyone in lufe when you are down no one will be there. When I help people it comes back. Every one needs someone.
❤️🙏
When I help people, more show up until I’m emotionally, financially, spiritually, energetically, and physically depleted. It’s not worth it. There is a reason why they say that no good dead goes unpunished.
Some people can be helped. Others become dependent with an entitled attitude not wanting to help themselves. We would do well to identify each person that we help and if they seem to want to become dependent it’s time to move on. Learned this after helping some family members for a long period of time. And it reflects what is happening in my city with an ever-growing number of transients and homeless. Some can be helped. Others want handouts without any obligation to take responsibility and help themselves. They are professional moochers who are leaching off of society.
Not necessarily true. Have had the opposite experience.
I think it depends on the situation, some people truly need help and they are really desperate. In such situations i will always help❤
By helping others one may think himself or herself Savior, if we genuinely wanna help someone it's always better without disclosing identity, so the one who receive doesn't feel burden and the one who render help don't inflate Ego. Another -ve aspect I have learned myself is, though one helps hundreds of times if says NO once even for some valid reason, the one who expects help is likely to bad mouth or feel bitterness. So, it's always be prepared to face such -ve judgements.
🙏❤️
You said it right one may think that they are their savior. If someone is going to help someone they should not be thinking such things or expecting anything in return it should be done without any strings attached. Even if they don’t appreciate it the person should not feel bad because it was not done for a reaction from them it was done out of the goodness of their heart. Most people are unappreciative anyhow. So keep your giving coming from a pure heart expecting nothing from them in return.
I helped somebody few moths ago and this person is always around asking for my assistance. I'm feeling awful because I can't help everytime or I just don't want to. But after this video I feel better because I'm not obligated to help all the time. I really appreciate for posting it!
❤️🙏
I thought i was a fool who went out of her way to help others. Glad to see that i was not the only one!!! Some consolation
🙏❤️
So nice to hear about such deep human experiences from an AI Voice Robot !!
❤️🙏
That’s called selfishness 😊, Ifeel happy when I help others and prioritize others.
❤️🙏
Amen. In an attempt to balance the universe, some people close their abused hearts to ever caring. Love with an open, but guarded heart. Thanks for sharing!
I MET A LOT OF BUDDHIST PRIESTS WHO COUNTED ON OUR SUPPORT DAILY
❤️🙏
I once gave a book to a little girl at a playground with the father present. People them made comments in social media. Can hear were used books I was trying to get rid of because of daughter read them all. No good deed goes in punished. People misconstrued things. I will never give again. Thank you for this video.
❤️🙏
Glorify helping others( This is the Mother's Syndrom) is good. BUT YOU YOURSELF DESERVE YOUR LOVE AND COMFORT. AT THE LONG RUN DEPEDENCY LEADS TO INABILITY OF TAKING ON THEIR OWN RESPONSIBILITIES. WHEN WE TAKE ON THE EMOTIONAL REQUIREMENTS OF OTHERS, WE BECOME THE SCAPE GOATS( VICTIMS)
This can also happen in charities you have donated to. I feel really stressed by the pressure of continual letters asking for donations that often start at a 'suggested' sum of £19.00 and upwards of that amount. This makes me feel like anything less I donate is not enough, when I rarely get the chance to spend that amount on myself! We know the larger donation will enable them to do more. We don't need it spelt out to us. I often wonder if they sent fewer letters asking for donations ( and suggesting sums appropriate to their needs), they might get more, not less.
🙏❤️❤️
You can always throw the letters away. That’s what I do because sometimes they are sending stuff out that you didn’t sign up for or promise to send them money.
Charities are the biggest scan, just don’t open the letters. If you want to donate give tins of food, clothes towels or blankets. Don’t give money. The government takes your money in taxes therefore you have given enough of your money away.
N have just now learned this at 53 ugh!!! 😩 always going way out of my way to the point of it affecting my life my sleep my tears yet always putting myself on the back burner! I have learned the hard way I now have secondary sjogrens disease! The primary was RA! I truly believe your body n spirit will let you know if you have been putting yourself last !! N if you dnt listen?? Well it will make you! N now? That’s where I’m at! I must protect my peace at all costs now or ( on top of being a clairvoyant empath) I gets instantly exhausted n I’m down out of energy for 3/4 days!! It’s the worst! My diet is all raw organic no processed no dairy! Balanced nutrition exercise sun gazing nature walks grounding etc.. I’ve had to take on this lifestyle I have no choice! I thank u so much for the value in this video!
❤️🙏
You can't give anything to a taker. If you don't expect anything in return, You won't be disappointed. If we are successful in helping someone else, it comes back. 10 fold. I have enough Energy to Share a bit with someone. But , if I put out , my Energy and it falls to flourish. It doesn't come back. Don't spread yourself to Thin. Thanks. Great vids. G.)))
❤️🙏
Only if the person we help is not a narcisist. No boundary is possible with tgem. The only solution is no contact.
❤️🙏
---- Releasing the Need for the Label "THE GIVER "-------as "THE GIVER " will attract "THE TAKER " Been there /done that ------learned the lesson ! The INTENTION is a Factor ------------
❤️
My family is Buddhist. thank you for this video. I always thought it was a karma thing. But in the western world it is all about take take take what you can take. Thanks for this video.
❤️🙏
I started listening to this thinking that I would be interested because it was about selfishness. Well, it's all about me. Like some of the other commenters here, I feel unbalanced because I gave too much to others without taking care of my own needs. About 30 years ago my father had a massive stroke, this was the beginning of my care giving that lasted 25 years ending in 2018 when my mother died. In this time father had 2 strokes and my mother had cancer, a heart attack, and alzheimers. Now, I'm 73 and I live alone, I have no children nor do I have any kind of ongoing relationship. My brother wants me to go to a celebration of life for, not only my mother, my aunt, and recently passed cousin. I wrote him and told him I wasn't sure I wanted to go because of my extended time as a caregiver. He wrote me back with a picture of Christ on the cross and called me Saint John. Listening to this video was good for me. I'm still wildly out of balance, maybe I'm still not caring for myself like I need to. I'm not happy, I don't live in the present and I'm fearful of the future; the usual senior concerns, increasing medical issues and fear of financial difficulties. I will try to remember the very helpful phrase from this video, "You can't pour from an empty cup."
Aww please find happiness, it's a blessing to be you!
❤️🙏
Loss of identity is the unresolving and never ending issue
🙏❤️
Right on point! I needed to hear that: If I heard this many years ago I would have judged this content, but now I know it is true! I have always overextended myself to help others because it was in my motherly nature to want to help and “save” everyone I can, until I was burned out and had nothing to give any longer. After years of giving, I found out I was depleted and questioned why I became a hub for “users”.. it was my giving nature and “Savior” mentality that not only created bunch of users sucking the life out of me, but the inability to give anything any longer! So this video came right on time as a reminder for us to teach others to help themselves rather than teaching them dependency on is! Teach them how to find food instead of feeding them. ❤
❤️🙏
Personally, I find peace and joy when I know I've been able to help others. However, genuine altruism is complex and diificult-it requires selflessness and often involves sacrifice. When I decide to help, I make sure I have the ability to do so, while also ensuring I reserve something for myself. Balancing my desire to assist others with my own well-being is essential for sustaining meaningful contributions while nurturing my own happiness and fulfillment.
❤️🙏
You’re absolutely right thank you for amazing advice 🙏☺️
You are so welcome ❤️🙏
My narcissistic mother shared this video to me and cynically thinks she's doing the right thing by taking away something that is supposed to be the necessary means to my prosperity in future by literally applying this portrayal to her own children 😢...... How ironic now Im having an unmotivated day
❤️🙏
Maybe your perception of the gesture is wrong. If she notices this shes probably saying (passively) I know I have a problem I can't help maybe this can
Was sharing this to you , her justifying her not helping you?
This is true, I have learnt not to be good to people, they end up using you.
❤️🙏
Don't be afraid to reach out when you have the resources, and someone is truly in need. The reason people behave badly is because they themselves were treated badly. This starts a cycle of using. Break the cycle...give what you can afford to lose, but refuse to distrust everyone. Otherwise, you will become a dark, grasping selfish person who only looks out for themselves...and that's what was done to you. Jesus says that He will repay your good deeds, if you are in relationship with Him. But knowing that, it's not a good deed to enable users. So keep your heart guarded, but open. Look for true people, who truly need help. And believe their is still good in the world.
God used to let me know about this by sending me dreams of vampires and zombies. When I learned how to interpret dreams I found out what it meant. This syndrome can open yourself up to being manipulated by controlling people.
❤️🙏
Like charity, giving 10% of one's time to help others unconditionally I find to be a healthy amount to achieve balance
❤️🙏
💯 correct protect your own wellbeing
❤️🙏
The advice is priceless. Thank you.
You are so welcome!
Thanks a million for showing the way to physical & mental liberation.....swamhiji
Most welcome ❤️🙏
My aunt eventually died of cancer (2nd time), Chinese saying help only for emergency but not poor is always correct!
🙏❤️
High wisdom! As a former victim of extreme altruism, I know the pain of that path. Love yourself!
❤️🙏
Exactly, love your neighbor as yourself, but you can't do that if you don't love you. Light and blessings.
Synchronized thoughts what a confirmation. I’m a student of this behavior 62 years vested. A lesson, very valuable one. So happy it fell , crushed , cried out for help. Yes I granted it help 6 months In I’m thank you for some guidance while it’s still dark , healing .to be marginalized a senior and a melanin female is so challenging, rewarding . Thank you, Thank you and thank you.
❤️❤️
I also help others which is very rewarding, but I only do this with leftover time and leftover money. You can only help when your own life is stable and fulfilling. ✌🏻
❤️🙏
On my spiritual path I learnt the hard way I was totally immmobilised,overdependence, exploitation, loss of money, materials and so on! Well it was easy after that, setting the boundaries of taking responsibility for others within my physical mental money and other powers! Then it became total joy to go on the path and believe me the strength started increasing and also to tolerate the repercussions and let downs expected & unexpected! Thank you!
Most welcome ❤️🙏
Give help to another one day unexpected u receive help, it's nature. I always seek to that persons who is needy , after help to them I have feel joy.
❤️🙏
Yes! Give and it shall be given to you, pressed down, shaken together, and running over. Light and blessings!
I completely agree !!! I love helping family members, friends and strangers but I ended up being hated by all of the ones I helped. I borrowed money to my family and friends, they never paid me back and they never call me either. Same with friends . Its even the same with my own kids.
Thank You ❤️
I'm sorry to hear this...fortunately we don't have such people around us
People will "borrow" and never had the intention of paying back, which means they never cared about you to begin with and losing whatever relationship with you doesn't bother them one bit, until they need you again and you're not there.
It’s true every time I help someone I find myself alone or hurting my own feelings and mind
Thanks ❤️🙏
This is an important topic, for mature individuals who already graduated from idealism. However, the information here packaged for energetically uneducated audience - it explains everything оn the level of psychology and logical understanding. I was expecting a deeper look at what's happening energetically to the giver and receiver, and how it can change the events in their life later on.
❤️🙏
I realised froends ahd relatives was crossing the lines with not considering my time and valuing me, so i stopped being rhe kind person who they used to use. I wss a people pleaser but not anymore, i see the truth how selfish people can be demanding kind people to run thin for them with no compassion.
❤️🙏
Yes I was negligent of my well being for 13 years rethinking of my brother and mother grow neglected my health and well being now I face health and mental depression why I was like that without 6th sense as they cheated me and did not let us develop financially. Now they forgot my sacrifice and mistreating.. if I had had good guru or any thingies this video I would have been good to me and my son .
❤️🙏
A good life is equally yoked. A flow of giving and recieving.
🙏❤️
Here we have many good comments. But I think that if we wait to get the surplus to be given to others for help, I am afraid that , at the end of the day, we will help nobody. In my view, any help needs sacrifice. And there is inner pleasure in helping. As for helping some people such as relatives expecting something in return, I am afraid that the risks of disappointment are too high. I can not even expect something from my children. I don't know whether, for example, they may not 'go' before me. Thank you.
Most Welcome ❤️🙏
We have a situation in my country where instead of people begging for food and shelter they beg for money for drug's.Nearly every supermarket and groceries shop has one or two. One goes another comes. We are known as givers and this is taken advantage of. All we're doing is keeping them in their addiction longer. It's gotten to a stage we're people don't like going shopping because of what they have to face every time , it's intimidating at times because they fight with eachother over the spot. It's worse because of crack cocaine their all using.✌️
❤️🙏
It's Horrible. What country are you from, If you don't mind me asking?
This message is definitely geared towards me, I always seem to be putting helping ppl over my self, but i just stop doing so, I'm doing me
❤️🙏
Me too! I'm done, me helping seems to bring negative energy and I'm a positive human.
My experiences helping others have been stressful because they became selfish and toxic. It took me a while to realize that no matter how much love you show and how much you pray for bitter people you can't change a mindset. Now when helping folks who demonstrate toxicity treating God's holy fruits of goodness working in me to help them, I reflect on what Jesus said. *Don't cast your pearls before swine and Do not give what is holy to dogs.* Thanks to Jesus teaching above, Now I have recognize when to walk away and kindly explain why I am walking away saying, *I will share my life with you but I don't owe you my life.* I serve God in love who has helped me to understand the importance of *knowing a tree by its fruits.* When a person shows you who they are believe them. (Maya Angelo) 🎉 Facts As the Bible teaches, some plant, some water, but it is God who gives the increase. We live in seasons. When you see signs it's time to pass the baton don't hesitate and walk away with peace that you did what you were allowed to do.
❤️🙏
This is why Im moving to another country soon. I will focus on my own life. I do not wanna take care of old sick parents. I wanna take care of myself and better my own life. I will not cut contact with people like family but not keeping in touch with them all the time. They will get theire karma if they are not treating others really good. I beleive in God. I have faith in God. I pray to God.
🙏❤️
Save your soul, help others if you can , you will be blessed, Jesus Christ teaching ♦️🌺♦️🌺♦️
❤️🙏
He also said he’d be coming back with a sword. It’s been 2000 years. Where is he? How many more children need to die from war, neglect or malnutrition before he gets on his horse and return from the clouds?
@@SofieLove it’s not Jesus Christ delaying the coming its humans, every mouth should proclaim Jesus is lord, people who don’t worship God , they end up worshiping Devil, by getting drunk and drugs, so many sinful things, meaning they want Satan to rule the earth, for now Satan is the god of this earth 🙏💐
Everyone is serving their own karma. Their good deeds, sins will form a Karma. No one can help others soo much to get them out of that karma completely.
❤️🙏
Doesn’t matter helping others without any will of retribution full your soul no the others when you give not expecting anything by heart is always going to be a good thing for you and for others
🙏❤️
These lessons are a practical manual for life. Wise advice to practice daily and live better while helping others. Thank you!
You are so welcome!
I help all my family I’m there every time I relly die coulent do nothing different I love them I no yur right about arexselfs we need time I get that it’s so sad when yur son needs yu in his mentel health it’s all I no relky. He’s getting better now. Hope it keeps up god gelid me get tree this I pray every day ❤
God Bless You ❤
Execellent advice
🙏❤️
easy to get lost in the "needs" of others, hard to watch them get worse and abuse you for your helping them.
❤️🙏
I help but with boundaries think my self to be financially stable when I get old no worry about money not to regret in the end 🇵🇭🇺🇸
❤️🙏
I ❤ THIS VIDEO. The message is profound unusual nut makes alot of sense
Thanks a lot 🙏❤️
One more thing is, the pressure on v1ct1ms to “forgive” the offenders.
❤️🙏
What about helping street animals 😢, I'm so tired and I feel I have never done enough. it affects me so bad
❤️🙏
@@BuddhismHubuh of course I'm talking to Artificial intelligence 😓
Leave those animals alone! Who sent them? It’s a drain on your emotions and finances. For more than a decade I fed the squirrels, birds, cats, skunks, raccoons, and possums in my neighborhood. It cost me thousands or dollars, a wasted decade of my life, and health issues. You are not responsible for animals or other human beings unless you brought them here. You are responsible for yourself.
look up the man who gave his life up to save 5 people when plane crashed in hudson river. "there is no greater love than to lay your life down for your friends"
❤️🙏
Helping others has to come from a place of feeling healthy within. A certain degree of self love then you can help and love others when it feels right to you.
❤️🙏
@12:45 When I give money to others.. I give.. without expecting it back, when we truly give it becomes a gift
❤️🙏
Everything said here os true.
❤️🙏