KZhead
Ойын-сауық

If You're Watching This, Thermonuclear War Hasn't Wiped Out Humanity

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
2017 ж. 18 Сәу.
3 636 089 Рет қаралды
Жүктеу

Stephen's Tuesday monologue was taped in front of a live (for now) studio audience.
Subscribe To "The Late Show" Channel HERE: bit.ly/ColbertKZhead
For more content from "The Late Show with Stephen Colbert", click HERE: bit.ly/1AKISnR
Watch full episodes of "The Late Show" HERE: bit.ly/1Puei40
Like "The Late Show" on Facebook HERE: on.fb.me/1df139Y
Follow "The Late Show" on Twitter HERE: bit.ly/1dMzZzG
Follow "The Late Show" on Google+ HERE: bit.ly/1JlGgzw
Follow "The Late Show" on Instagram HERE: bit.ly/29wfREj
Follow "The Late Show" on Tumblr HERE: bit.ly/29DVvtR
Watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35 PM ET/10:35 PM CT. Only on CBS.
Get the CBS app for iPhone & iPad! Click HERE: bit.ly/12rLxge
Get new episodes of shows you love across devices the next day, stream live TV, and watch full seasons of CBS fan favorites anytime, anywhere with CBS All Access. Try it free! bit.ly/1OQA29B
---
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

Пікірлер

  • Watching Colbert is so much cheaper than therapy.

    @heathmccasland@heathmccasland7 жыл бұрын

    • Watching Colbert is so much more reliable than watching the actual news

      @nigelharvey640@nigelharvey6407 жыл бұрын

    • reading the comments is much better than suicide :)

      @stgodless@stgodless7 жыл бұрын

    • Heath McCasland are you still sad that trump won ?

      @yidel229@yidel2297 жыл бұрын

    • joe a you're still in denial electing him wad a good idea?

      @WhoIsElKabong@WhoIsElKabong7 жыл бұрын

    • Heath McCasland you joke but I hope you're okay 😊

      @theexotic2983@theexotic29837 жыл бұрын

  • Who else feels like Colbert is helping you get through the next 4 years?

    @PhillipTimothy@PhillipTimothy7 жыл бұрын

    • ha, snowflancK!

      @kyokyoniizukyo7171@kyokyoniizukyo71717 жыл бұрын

    • Phillip Timothy hell this show helped me cope since December.

      @candidorodriguez85@candidorodriguez857 жыл бұрын

    • Kyononnon 'why did Gmail screw me over?' What the hell is a "snowflancK"?

      @mavendeo@mavendeo7 жыл бұрын

    • Colbert and SNL. They're like heroin for thinkers.

      @Ou8y2k2@Ou8y2k27 жыл бұрын

    • Or just 4 short moments before the war breaks out

      @OhCrap247@OhCrap2477 жыл бұрын

  • "Vault-Tec. A brighter future, underground."

    @nicholasrandall3507@nicholasrandall35077 жыл бұрын

    • best timed Fallout reference ever! :)

      @RoackerRomanMandru@RoackerRomanMandru7 жыл бұрын

    • @Nicholas Randall ty for this =D

      @jacquesvermeulen6285@jacquesvermeulen62857 жыл бұрын

    • YESSSSSSS

      @moonshoes420@moonshoes4207 жыл бұрын

    • Ok, but I get to be the mysterious man who lives in your pit boy.

      @Dragonk116@Dragonk1167 жыл бұрын

    • :P

      @ApertureLabs@ApertureLabs7 жыл бұрын

  • I love how whenever Stephen uses an invisible prop in a bit he always puts it away off screen, it's adorable

    @andrewharding5173@andrewharding51737 жыл бұрын

    • Andrew Harding I'm so glad someone else noticed this! I always watch out for it in his monologues.

      @Darebakable@Darebakable7 жыл бұрын

    • Thats a sign of a trained actor lol. Improv 101, always maintain continuity.

      @bondjames8225@bondjames82257 жыл бұрын

    • And john battese makes a low tune for putting things to the right and high to the left

      @alexthomas6602@alexthomas66025 жыл бұрын

    • *Takes Giant Elephant* *Smashes piano using said elephant*

      @idk-nu7hr@idk-nu7hr5 жыл бұрын

    • The Steak *Puts Giant Elephant away off-screen* *Cleans up piano and puts all the pieces away with said elephant*

      @FalcoNat@FalcoNat5 жыл бұрын

  • Lately I'm feeling as if I am part of an experiment gone completely awry: Humankind .

    @camelshit-on-the-walls446@camelshit-on-the-walls4467 жыл бұрын

    • 42

      @allanthompson2497@allanthompson24977 жыл бұрын

    • Don't worry, they're going to stop giving Deepmind LSD soon.

      @saradanhoff6539@saradanhoff65397 жыл бұрын

    • Actually we just fell into an alternative universe, one which logic & basic human empathy don't exist.

      @davidhollenshead4892@davidhollenshead48927 жыл бұрын

    • David Hollenshead Hmm.. something like that. Personally, from back when David Bowie's passing tore a hole in the fabric of reality, things have just felt more wrong/surreal than ever before.

      @camelshit-on-the-walls446@camelshit-on-the-walls4467 жыл бұрын

    • It's like we're in Fallout and this is our vaults experiment.

      @camdenfair493@camdenfair4937 жыл бұрын

  • Yup. He's going to war with a guy he doesn't even know the name of. Just like how he thought his cruise missiles were going to "Iraq", not Syria.

    @AngryKittens@AngryKittens7 жыл бұрын

    • Angreh Kittunz he's got dementia !

      @phoebe5843@phoebe58437 жыл бұрын

    • He's not experiencing dementia. Well, he might be, but this gaffe isn't a sign of it. He doesn't know because he's not in control. He's a fucking empty suit. A chew toy for the real powers-that-be to toss to ignorant Americans while they sell weapons to their own country with which to bomb the fuck out of the Middle East. At retail markup!

      @Amigo21189@Amigo211897 жыл бұрын

    • Angreh Kittunz that's even worse !

      @phoebe5843@phoebe58437 жыл бұрын

    • Phoebe Guquib .

      @daphnelegge4488@daphnelegge44887 жыл бұрын

  • "but the march didnt make Trump release his taxes, much like the Women's march didn't make him release his women".....GOLD, MR. COLBERT, GOLD

    @boyanghu8730@boyanghu87307 жыл бұрын

  • I live in the south so I know alot of people who support Trump so watching Colbert heals my soul

    @abbybarron8328@abbybarron83287 жыл бұрын

    • I'm in Michigan and I only know 2 Republicans. I know more gun owners then conservatives.

      @wantsome480@wantsome4807 жыл бұрын

    • Oh, poor you. How could you cope?

      @cl9925@cl99257 жыл бұрын

    • Oh honey! I'm so sorry! (Hugs!)

      @clovergreens6858@clovergreens68587 жыл бұрын

    • Abby Barron Its not you its us, we should probably break up and you need to move out... Sore loser

      @REDD4317@REDD43177 жыл бұрын

    • Yes. It's like therapy! Same here Abby!

      @ambernestorgregory2287@ambernestorgregory22877 жыл бұрын

  • "are they a sponsor ? Sure, why not".

    @headphoneactivist@headphoneactivist7 жыл бұрын

  • 'If the queen hears the sound of tic tacs in the golden coach run for it ...' hilarious rotflmao. This man is on fire

    @suebarrow5973@suebarrow59737 жыл бұрын

    • Sue Barrow I didn't understand that joke. Is it a reference to something?

      @seanperone449@seanperone4497 жыл бұрын

    • The Billy Bush tape

      @mikeb.379@mikeb.3797 жыл бұрын

    • Sean Perone when trump said, "Grab them by the pussy." After he mentioned tic tacs.

      @JSythe@JSythe7 жыл бұрын

    • Sue Barrow - yeah...and that's not a mental image I'm going to get rid of in a hurry. :/ Stuff of nightmares.

      @judioregan4210@judioregan42107 жыл бұрын

    • Sean Perone - TicTacs are used to freshen your breath - sleazy aid for a sex pest.

      @judioregan4210@judioregan42107 жыл бұрын

  • Clearly The Donald confused Kim Jong Un with Psy who is a Gentleman.

    @silentwhisp4r670@silentwhisp4r6707 жыл бұрын

    • I hear he got it from his Daddy

      @CNWhatImSaiyan@CNWhatImSaiyan7 жыл бұрын

    • HA! Love it!

      @1234klipper@1234klipper7 жыл бұрын

    • Haha! But he actually confused Kim Jong Un with Kim Jong Il. He then started talking about what the "gentleman" did during Clinton's administration.

      @a2falcone@a2falcone7 жыл бұрын

    • He's not a Gentlemen. He's a Mother Father Gentlemen!!! *does Psy dance and harasses women*

      @gamer7916@gamer79167 жыл бұрын

    • CN What I'm Saiyan? N

      @judlester9640@judlester96406 жыл бұрын

  • As a veteran I find it offensive for Mr. Pence to wear a uniform which he doesn't deserve to wear.

    @allenmartin9375@allenmartin93757 жыл бұрын

    • al mar - quite so. And thank you for serving sir. Much respect from the UK. ;)

      @judioregan4210@judioregan42107 жыл бұрын

    • And what about Trump doing the same thing ? He dodged the draft 5 times I believe or was it only 4 ? They all disgust me .A bunch of blood thirsty war mongers who've never served or had to take a life but casually decide the fate of our people and those who's lands we're sent into take for the oil companies . This game has gotten old .

      @royalspin@royalspin6 жыл бұрын

    • Allen Martin 👍

      @mellow_mallow@mellow_mallow6 жыл бұрын

  • "The election is over!" says the guy who keeps talking about how much better he is than Hillary Clinton.

    @LabMatt@LabMatt7 жыл бұрын

    • Lab Matt Hillary still a bad ombré who wanted to outlaw weed and profit off of it

      @tyrionlannister467@tyrionlannister4677 жыл бұрын

    • Lab Matt The election is over, Trump is president, he is responsible and should be held responsible for all actions of his government. He should be compared to what the other candidates had planned and to other governments around the world. That's how it works, whoever is president.

      @contentedbuddha@contentedbuddha7 жыл бұрын

    • "The election is over, people shouldn't be rallying!", says the guy who's held a dozen rallies since the election ended.

      @Zzyzzyzzs@Zzyzzyzzs7 жыл бұрын

    • And the guy who's already running his reelection campaign so he can keep doing rallies and fundraising since those are the parts he actually likes instead of, you know, running the damn country.

      @Kereea@Kereea7 жыл бұрын

    • Proof?

      @Barrobroadcastmaster@Barrobroadcastmaster7 жыл бұрын

  • Trump's hair always looks like it just experienced thermonuclear war.

    @therepublicofdiarrhea7792@therepublicofdiarrhea77927 жыл бұрын

    • ^^^

      @Shu-ig5fi@Shu-ig5fi7 жыл бұрын

    • I find your name offensive, mind if you change it?

      @op2265@op22657 жыл бұрын

    • FlameSight Probably not.

      @mavendeo@mavendeo7 жыл бұрын

    • FlameSight god loves porn man get over it

      @Kuckerkarlson@Kuckerkarlson7 жыл бұрын

    • XD too funny :)

      @MrBloodbunny@MrBloodbunny7 жыл бұрын

  • "doesn't want to telegraph was his thinking" ??? What? He tweets 24/7 exactly what he's thinking.

    @joeblack4436@joeblack44367 жыл бұрын

  • Stephen is the only thing tethering me to sanity right now

    @erkperc@erkperc7 жыл бұрын

    • I find sellotape is a pretty good psychological tether. it really does fix anything.

      @RAFMnBgaming@RAFMnBgaming7 жыл бұрын

    • HASEnoncorperated Duct tape works better.

      @Chunkboi@Chunkboi7 жыл бұрын

    • Then you're really fucking stupid.

      @Shehbaz666@Shehbaz6667 жыл бұрын

    • Daniel Pogosyan Non sequitur

      @kendomyers@kendomyers7 жыл бұрын

    • Well the FIRST two comments were good.

      @erkperc@erkperc7 жыл бұрын

  • We're fucked

    @davidvilela4347@davidvilela43477 жыл бұрын

    • Congratulations America

      @davidvilela4347@davidvilela43477 жыл бұрын

    • David Vilela yeah you've really done it this time.

      @suebarrow5973@suebarrow59737 жыл бұрын

    • We're so very fucked

      @rmtrainer7@rmtrainer77 жыл бұрын

    • We're so fucked. Shit out of luck. Hardwired to self destruct. - Metallica "Hardwired". I think they knew this shit was coming!!

      @ImTheJoker4u@ImTheJoker4u7 жыл бұрын

    • Yeah, we're really doomed. If World War 3 happens, which is very likely with the North Korea provocation, I'm not fighting and moving out of America.

      @davidtimmer596@davidtimmer5967 жыл бұрын

  • like my mother always said...it's only funny until there's a fucking mushroom cloud. :S

    @alicesrabbit7126@alicesrabbit71267 жыл бұрын

    • Queenie Isn't Here doubt it

      @theywalkinguptoyouand4060@theywalkinguptoyouand40607 жыл бұрын

    • Which holocaust? There have been a few but you follow the the Jewish rhetoric, otherwise you'd define which holocaust you mean. Well done sucker.

      @polyorchid528@polyorchid5287 жыл бұрын

    • Queenie Isn't Here Hehehehehehe "Fall Out".

      @BreedofDMC6669@BreedofDMC66697 жыл бұрын

    • He's sayin Queenie is brainwashed by ze Jews

      @NocturnalNick@NocturnalNick7 жыл бұрын

    • I understand. I'm saying he doesn't know what he is talking about. There has only been one Hebrew 'burnt sacrifice'. Maybe he means 'Incensum', you know... Catholic burning to death of protestants? Anyway, Jews are not the problem. Ignorance is the problem. And ignorance literally knows no bounds.

      @RKroese@RKroese7 жыл бұрын

  • Colbert is brutal and this is not even a cable show.

    @stillyas85@stillyas857 жыл бұрын

    • wud up, DJ Khaled

      @LJdaentertainer@LJdaentertainer7 жыл бұрын

    • seriously, he went in

      @no_peace@no_peace7 жыл бұрын

    • Used to be.

      @pillowverse7664@pillowverse76645 жыл бұрын

  • You know, I didn't think I'd miss Obama? But I seriously want that guy back at this point.

    @AlwaysANemesis@AlwaysANemesis7 жыл бұрын

    • Hoopdy - don't we all honey.

      @judioregan4210@judioregan42107 жыл бұрын

    • Hell, at this point I’d settle for Bush.

      @Lowkeylie@Lowkeylie3 жыл бұрын

    • it’s alr we have his vp

      @iherixxon@iherixxon3 жыл бұрын

  • The Queen has more time in military than Trump

    @kennethnash598@kennethnash5987 жыл бұрын

  • Also thanks for the full monologue again ♥😊

    @tilaNmanx@tilaNmanx7 жыл бұрын

    • sshhh! don't remind them! they probably forgot about this after the break!

      @user-yk7km5yh5z@user-yk7km5yh5z7 жыл бұрын

  • the best late night cable talk show by far. I hope CBS keeps Colbert for decades.

    @brendanrobertson123@brendanrobertson1237 жыл бұрын

  • Oh my God. "Dictator-tot" got me so good.

    @rettwoods@rettwoods7 жыл бұрын

  • Christ, this world is lost. I'll just sit here with a beer and wait for this whole thing to blow over.

    @mahatmarfigo@mahatmarfigo7 жыл бұрын

    • More like blow up!

      @ItsFishyTricks@ItsFishyTricks7 жыл бұрын

    • enjoy, the fireworks are such enjoyable sights...wait, your not referring to fourth of July?

      @kyokyoniizukyo7171@kyokyoniizukyo71717 жыл бұрын

    • ItsFishyTricks k

      @NotoriusBenjamin@NotoriusBenjamin7 жыл бұрын

    • Mr. Figo stock up on that beer buddy your going to be there for a long time

      @Kuckerkarlson@Kuckerkarlson7 жыл бұрын

    • The armada is still near Australia. It was fake news, apparently.

      @jamesbonq@jamesbonq7 жыл бұрын

  • The "UHK" Genius 😂😂😂

    @titi53221@titi532217 жыл бұрын

  • I'd rant about how hypocritical it is for Trump to complain about people going on about his tax returns after how much he went on about Obama releasing his birth certificate, but he knows what he's doing, he just doesn't care.

    @MarxistKnight@MarxistKnight7 жыл бұрын

  • I hate when he takes 1 week breaks. I need his rants and comedy to keep sane😂

    @Mila-Nova@Mila-Nova7 жыл бұрын

  • The 'CBS will kill me for doing this' is the best running joke on the show

    @yaraa9351@yaraa93517 жыл бұрын

  • Colbert, the King of Savage.

    @chipahoy3530@chipahoy35307 жыл бұрын

  • As a time traveling hipster from the year 3000, I can confirm that while I am watching this video, humanity has been wiped out by thermonuclear war.

    @rampage8724@rampage87247 жыл бұрын

    • Rampage i’m not sure why, but i have the feeling you’re lying 🤔

      @kt-zn4yu@kt-zn4yu6 жыл бұрын

  • I'd rather be in a Vault Tec bunker with an ice-cold Nuka-Cola®.

    @Thiora@Thiora7 жыл бұрын

    • If I whent shopping for vaults, Would I be a vault hunter?

      @anthonyseboe4646@anthonyseboe46467 жыл бұрын

    • Chris hope you enjoy the white noise and Gary.

      @mellow_mallow@mellow_mallow6 жыл бұрын

    • Are you sure about that? We all know about the crazy experiments....

      @puellamagi1232@puellamagi12326 жыл бұрын

  • Barack and Michelle Obama, Bruce Springsteen, Oprah Winfrey, and Tom Hanks got on a boat together...there's no punchline, you just wish you were there.

    @iyayan_@iyayan_7 жыл бұрын

    • sounds like a party I'd give a major body part to be invited to!!

      @imisstoronto3121@imisstoronto31217 жыл бұрын

    • imiss toronto - Tom Hanks for President!!

      @judioregan4210@judioregan42107 жыл бұрын

    • imiss toronto nice username

      @13lack13ird@13lack13ird7 жыл бұрын

  • It's 2017 and we still censor out middle fingers. What are we, 12 years old or something?

    @nobodyknows6040@nobodyknows60407 жыл бұрын

    • Sophia N that's called sarcasm mate.

      @dishantmishra3940@dishantmishra39407 жыл бұрын

    • Nobody Knows And after 11pm!

      @kettle2293@kettle22937 жыл бұрын

    • That's because Americans are bigotted prudes. In Europe for instance, censoring is by far not as rigorous because nobody makes a big deal out of it if there is some obscenity.

      @taregunner7872@taregunner78727 жыл бұрын

    • Sophia N I think s/he's referring to the Janet Jackson Super Bowl debacle. #nipplegate

      @PrisonKilljoy@PrisonKilljoy7 жыл бұрын

    • somehow it looks even more offensive with the censor lol

      @mushnoodle@mushnoodle7 жыл бұрын

  • I've actually been only watching stephens monologues all day long and I've never laughed so hard so often, that man is such a savage, holy fuck- best day ever!

    @xoxoCo2001@xoxoCo20016 жыл бұрын

  • One of the best monologues in quite a while.

    @ethanworner864@ethanworner8647 жыл бұрын

  • Finally, a good 12mins vid after a week without Colbert. Waited too long for this.

    @teosweekin@teosweekin7 жыл бұрын

    • TSK amen to that!

      @FrancesBaconandEggs@FrancesBaconandEggs7 жыл бұрын

    • TSK yeah bro. was tough

      @C1eric@C1eric7 жыл бұрын

    • We’ve made it this far!

      @radcatplayz713@radcatplayz7136 жыл бұрын

  • "The Election is over", says the guy who holds campaign rallies AFTER becoming President.

    @jerryto803@jerryto8037 жыл бұрын

    • Jerry To Dude.. he still holds freaking rallies.... unbelievable.

      @joey6249@joey62497 жыл бұрын

    • Well, he needs to feed his empty ego with trumpfan energy every so often, he's that creepy kind of a vampire.

      @camelshit-on-the-walls446@camelshit-on-the-walls4467 жыл бұрын

    • Loser democrats.

      @dsmithers944@dsmithers9447 жыл бұрын

    • Jerry To every president does that

      @titaniumburst1606@titaniumburst16067 жыл бұрын

    • Hahaha, yeah. The democrats lost when the republicans voted and sold away ALL of our data to isp providers. Holy fuck, watching tom cotton get ravaged by his constituents didn't give me the image of democrats losing. Hahaha it's like they think their party is some kind of a sports team and there's a scorekeeper/referee.. wake the fuck up

      @joey6249@joey62497 жыл бұрын

  • I love how he always brings up winning the election but says the tax thing is in the past.

    @DeterminedDIYer@DeterminedDIYer7 жыл бұрын

    • Indeed. When he says, by way of dismissing the tax marchers, "The election is over", he's effectively saying "I only promised to release my taxes in order to win the election". Once his promises deliver the desired result, he feels no compunction about admitting they were made dishonestly, to get him whatever he wanted at that moment in time. Never underestimate the unlimited supply of suckers because they're literally born by the minute.

      @Gottenhimfella@Gottenhimfella6 жыл бұрын

  • The writing on this show, especially in these political diatribes, is unmatched anywhere on tv.

    @gregorcollins@gregorcollins7 жыл бұрын

    • Gregor Collins - simply the best.

      @judioregan4210@judioregan42107 жыл бұрын

  • Time to start running those 'Duck and cover' movies again…

    @kjamison5951@kjamison59517 жыл бұрын

    • OMG...I need to buy a flimsy school desk or else I'm doomed!

      @PrisonKilljoy@PrisonKilljoy7 жыл бұрын

    • PrisonKilljoy - yeah. Wonder if IKEA will be stocking flat pack nuclear bunkers anytime soon?!?

      @judioregan4210@judioregan42107 жыл бұрын

  • With the way things are going all that time playing fallout will have played off.

    @flyingninjafish1558@flyingninjafish15587 жыл бұрын

    • Only problem is most of us are going to be dead ghouls or maybe the enclave is already a thing so we will have to see

      @jeremygeller9145@jeremygeller91457 жыл бұрын

    • Actually a lot of people will already have plans and supplies ready in case of nuclear war, so I think it's safe to say we will survive for at least a few decades after the bombs drop.

      @flyingninjafish1558@flyingninjafish15587 жыл бұрын

    • Cannot wait!!! I wanna be a ghoul.

      @perpetualpolymath5961@perpetualpolymath59617 жыл бұрын

    • Does it count if I already live in Vegas?

      @jamlaminnswordhand5402@jamlaminnswordhand54027 жыл бұрын

    • I really don't want to join the NCR, but seeing where I live, I probably don't have a choice. I am collecting bobby pins, though. Can never have enough of those.

      @Yonkage@Yonkage7 жыл бұрын

  • Full monolog without it being cut up thanks for this :), good times!

    @Drivertilldeath@Drivertilldeath7 жыл бұрын

  • "Michelle plagiarized Milania for once" - I fucking lost it.

    @SchMasHed@SchMasHed7 жыл бұрын

  • Stephen Colbert is awesome!

    @sparkpaul@sparkpaul7 жыл бұрын

  • I love you Stephen. pls dont leave me again

    @Mexicanbeatle15@Mexicanbeatle157 жыл бұрын

  • Thank you Stephen. Thank you for helping me get through this. Hopefully I'll find time to be in your audience soon. And, thanks to your crew...I don't know you but I love you

    @wizdom774@wizdom7747 жыл бұрын

  • I love Stephen's comedy style. That bunker tag line joke was wonderfully delivered.

    @ImDemonAlchemist@ImDemonAlchemist6 жыл бұрын

  • I think Trump calls him this gentleman because he's confusing him with PSY.

    @LightningGlass@LightningGlass7 жыл бұрын

    • Seems legit. Just about now he confused Australia with North Korea and sent the aircraft carrier to the wrong continent.

      @BlackBTX@BlackBTX7 жыл бұрын

    • BlackBTX Seriously? like for realms now?

      @egazer7165@egazer71657 жыл бұрын

    • for all realms in between Korea and Australia, yes :P

      @BlackBTX@BlackBTX7 жыл бұрын

    • Thank you so much for your racist joke - ♡ South Korean

      @crush7877@crush78777 жыл бұрын

    • Well it's not actually a racist joke. First of all Trump is a rather racist guy who confuses everything and everyone and doesn't even know that Belgium is not a city - so he might actually seriously confuse Kim Jong Un and PSY. Second - PSY is Korean, right? No matter if you like it or not, North and South Korea are populated by people of the same race. It's just that one of the two countries has the misfortune of being ruled by a crazy leader. But all are the same race. Just like Steven Colbert and Donald Trump. Hence it is not racist. You're welcome.

      @BlackBTX@BlackBTX7 жыл бұрын

  • I know we like to joke around about trump having nuclear codes and button on the finger stuff but shit is getting real fast and real soon. This not gonna end well for anyone

    @OhCrap247@OhCrap2477 жыл бұрын

    • Well, the cockroaches that inherit the scorched earth will probably be alright.

      @Thumbsupurbum@Thumbsupurbum7 жыл бұрын

    • we are joking and having fun but boy oh boy. I am scared shitless

      @JPkeo@JPkeo7 жыл бұрын

    • Flintstoned lmfaoooo😂 *high five*

      @allegramontes8360@allegramontes83607 жыл бұрын

  • Stephen is so adorable! I could not stop smiling! ~ so thankful for this youtube channel rn ~

    @audreysaid2235@audreysaid22357 жыл бұрын

  • Stephen is the best, needed this show back in my life

    @ItsWithakayLee@ItsWithakayLee7 жыл бұрын

  • "The election is over"? Then why do you spend most of your time bragging about the election?

    @Argumemnon@Argumemnon7 жыл бұрын

    • Argumemnon - that's all he has left.

      @judioregan4210@judioregan42107 жыл бұрын

  • Wait, the Obama's were on a yacht with Oprah, Tom Hanks, and Bruce Springsteen? That sounds like it could be either the most epic strategy meeting, or a weirdly chill dinner party among people there usually is no chill around. WEIRD

    @seir323@seir3237 жыл бұрын

  • He tweets "The election is over!" yet he still brags about his "historic" win 5 months ago.

    @ShinobiNintendo@ShinobiNintendo7 жыл бұрын

  • I just love the fact that the Obamas are hanging out with Oprah, Tom Hanks, and Bruce Springsteen lol good people in good company. Also I too miss Joe 😔

    @Shot0fJack@Shot0fJack7 жыл бұрын

    • Jack McDerment - yeah. Sun, surf, a great cocktail and even better company. The greatest in fact. All they need is Morgan Freeman - clever, witty, laconic and laid back; Samuel L Jackson - seriously smart and funny dude; Billy Connolly - funniest dude on the planet; Stephen Fry - an urbane, witty delight; Helen Mirren - gifted; sassy, sexy and simply doesn't give a shit; Judi Dench - smart, warm, funny and very giggly, especially when Billy's around; Ellen DeGeneres - clever, empathic, funny and courageous, and Taylor Kitsch - warm, intelligent, laid back, with a typically bone dry, razor sharp, sarcastic Canadian wit, and his gorgeousness wouldn't hurt either. Doesn't get much better than that. Now that is a party I would kill to get an invite for.

      @judioregan4210@judioregan42107 жыл бұрын

  • Mike Pence: "I feel the need, the need for … asking my wife if I can finish this movie quote."

    @kjamison5951@kjamison59517 жыл бұрын

  • Steven is keeping me from giving up on humans. Please never stop doing this show... x.x

    @Onus6688@Onus66887 жыл бұрын

  • And rewatching on KZhead 7 years later.

    @TheCNYMike@TheCNYMike8 күн бұрын

  • there was one rally atleast where trump said " punch them in the face and he would pay for legal fees"

    @coryryder9070@coryryder90707 жыл бұрын

  • These monologues kick so much ass!!!!

    @emmanuelchalwe6289@emmanuelchalwe62897 жыл бұрын

  • Mike pence looks like a top gun back up actor

    @eduardoendaracorrea196@eduardoendaracorrea1967 жыл бұрын

    • eduardo endara - I thought he looks more like he should be standing in a shop window as a mannequin wearing a suit.

      @judioregan4210@judioregan42107 жыл бұрын

    • eduardo endara i was thinking more alongthelines of Hannibal from the A Team..

      @kathleenrobertson67@kathleenrobertson677 жыл бұрын

    • Kathleen Robertson - nah. Not action-man enough.

      @judioregan4210@judioregan42107 жыл бұрын

  • "...But you're in a bunker lined in lead". Fixed the bunker slogan.

    @Outamyhead@Outamyhead7 жыл бұрын

  • I saw almost all his videos even know am not even AMERICAN

    @nathannuk3319@nathannuk33197 жыл бұрын

    • Same I'm Hongkongese

      @alvinyu2424@alvinyu24245 жыл бұрын

    • Same here🙋‍♀️

      @hebamadi265@hebamadi2655 жыл бұрын

    • *though

      @AlphoxHD@AlphoxHD5 жыл бұрын

    • Stephen Colbert's humour transcends nationality and appeals to anyone who appreciates good humour and cares about the state of this planet.

      @ChrisSeahorse@ChrisSeahorse5 жыл бұрын

    • @@ChrisSeahorse Exactly 👍🏻🤜🏻🤛🏻

      @hebamadi265@hebamadi2655 жыл бұрын

  • Stephen looks so good ☺️

    @jaspreetpooni423@jaspreetpooni4237 жыл бұрын

  • "This gentleman".....he forgot his name, 100%. Kim Jong errr....errrr.....

    @Who-Dunnit@Who-Dunnit7 жыл бұрын

    • Who Dunnit whom?

      @lyricbot8513@lyricbot85137 жыл бұрын

  • Dear Steven...You're hilarious...Thank you so much for you & your show's unbeatable talent. Your writers are brilliant & your delivery is excellent. :) Don't know what rational thinking US citizens could have done to endure & survive laughingly what's happening.

    @cheryljohnson6542@cheryljohnson65427 жыл бұрын

  • I love Steven Colbert! Keeps me smiling through these weird times....

    @justinlewis7575@justinlewis75757 жыл бұрын

  • colbert is probably the only news i watch these days

    @akimboletsgo5424@akimboletsgo54247 жыл бұрын

  • Keep your tiny hands off our Queen, Mr. Trump! DO NOT get frisky with Her Majesty in a "golden carriage"!

    @lornaginetteharrison414@lornaginetteharrison4147 жыл бұрын

    • BTW, Queen Elizabeth II would TOTALLY kick Donald Trump's ass. Seriously - that woman fights dirty!

      @lornaginetteharrison414@lornaginetteharrison4147 жыл бұрын

    • Lorna Ginette Harrison - yeah. Who knows what the old girl keeps in that big black handbag. She'd probably be packing a couple of bricks for the occasion. And a Taser gun, just in case. I'd also advise a tin of mace, ma'am.

      @judioregan4210@judioregan42107 жыл бұрын

    • +Judi O'Regan If I were her, I'd just settle with a mace.

      @tombouric@tombouric7 жыл бұрын

    • @@lornaginetteharrison414 I would definitely take QE2 in that fight. That woman knows how to handle horses and fix jeeps... I think she can probably handle herself against the likes of trump.

      @ammaleslie509@ammaleslie509 Жыл бұрын

  • Love, love, love this show!! Colbert and his team are awesome!

    @reachtrita@reachtrita7 жыл бұрын

  • Colbert i missed you so much i watch you while i have tea its the best lol

    @soulcalx@soulcalx7 жыл бұрын

  • "Everlast Subterranean Lead-Lined Bunkers." Brought to you by Vault-Tec!

    @Yonkage@Yonkage7 жыл бұрын

    • The world is starting to become just as nonsensical as the Fallout universe.

      @kwintin1000@kwintin10007 жыл бұрын

    • Yonkage there'd be some cruel experiments, all right

      @bee5440@bee54407 жыл бұрын

  • Just in case shit goes down, I love you all.

    @Kaervek87@Kaervek877 жыл бұрын

  • "If you're watching this, Thermonuclear War hasn't wiped out humanity." Pity.

    @toasega@toasega7 жыл бұрын

  • Well, time to invest in a fallout shelter. Where's Vault-Tec when you need it?

    @MinersLoveGames@MinersLoveGames7 жыл бұрын

    • MinersLoveGames Do you WANT horrific human experimentation? Because that's how you get hoffic human experimentation.

      @zenogias01@zenogias017 жыл бұрын

    • Unless it's Vault 111 or 101, of course.

      @MinersLoveGames@MinersLoveGames7 жыл бұрын

    • I mean vault 111 would suck but vault 101 is alright if you think about it, your not going to live 200 years into the future when the fact that it is perpetually sealed is a problem.

      @Rert@Rert7 жыл бұрын

  • top gun halloween costume lolol

    @Louise91@Louise917 жыл бұрын

  • Stephen has best monologue of all late night hosts ....!!!

    @devenderhai@devenderhai7 жыл бұрын

  • Hasn't wiped out humanity *yet

    @susanw9111@susanw91117 жыл бұрын

  • Stephen is terrific!

    @norasteel5353@norasteel53537 жыл бұрын

  • Nice Pepsi dig lmao

    @dynamitejimi@dynamitejimi7 жыл бұрын

  • Yep. 1.8 million people signed that petition (including me). After 10,000 signatures, the government will respond. After 100,000 signatures it's considered for debate in parliament. And what happened as a result of those 1.8 million signatures? Our disgusting prime minister said "f*ck you all" (I may be paraphrasing slightly). And now we're going to have a general election when there's no opposition party, so we're going to be stuck with her for a long time to come. I wish we had a Stephen Colbert over here to take the edge off the disaster.

    @bujin1977@bujin19777 жыл бұрын

    • bujin1977 - me too mate. She has to kiss Trump's arse anyway. After Brexit, she's gonna need all the trade she can get.

      @judioregan4210@judioregan42107 жыл бұрын

    • +Judi O'Regan i would say wait for 9th June but yeah beardy couldn't run a bath let alone an election campaign

      @presidentwoodrow@presidentwoodrow7 жыл бұрын

    • Technically at 100,000 it goes before the Back Bench Business Committee, but this was the first petition to be denied a debate (and the largest ever) so yeah, basically. Oh well, at least I get to vote once before fucking off to uni in Europe.

      @vathek5958@vathek59587 жыл бұрын

    • presidentwoodrow - true. Bit of a damp squib really, isn't he. I wouldn't trust him to lead us in a chorus of Koom Bya, let alone lead our country.

      @judioregan4210@judioregan42107 жыл бұрын

    • Vathek - haha! Godspeed mate!!

      @judioregan4210@judioregan42107 жыл бұрын

  • Thank God for you Stephen, after my children, you are my reason to live

    @brettcoelho5680@brettcoelho56807 жыл бұрын

  • @4:23 - priceless moment... Thank You!!!!! Lots of Love, from Lisbon, Portugal !

    @JimiJah@JimiJah7 жыл бұрын

  • Spicergeddon, when sean spicer denies world world three.

    @RichardCasemore@RichardCasemore7 жыл бұрын

    • It's not a nuclear war, it's just "alternative peace". And those twenty million people who got blown up yesterday? They're experiencing an "alternate life" right now.

      @Yonkage@Yonkage7 жыл бұрын

    • world world three?? XD

      @Luis0n7i@Luis0n7i7 жыл бұрын

    • At least those 20 million people won't have to worry about Trumpcare 2.0...the rest of us, though, are completely boned.

      @OldSquidleySpooch@OldSquidleySpooch7 жыл бұрын

    • Yonkage - yeah. Nuclear sickness, my hair falling out?!? Just fake news! I didn't like my eyebrows anyway.

      @judioregan4210@judioregan42107 жыл бұрын

  • Pence? Pence. Pence! *deep breath* PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENCE! Pence: "WHAT?!" _Danger zone._

    @ResidentTarantino@ResidentTarantino7 жыл бұрын

    • Veteran Nintenerd why doesn't this have more upvotes?

      @diegomorett142@diegomorett1427 жыл бұрын

    • I've been on a dry spell. I've only had a handful of times where I've gotten like 1000+ likes. Now I'm lucky to see 10

      @ResidentTarantino@ResidentTarantino7 жыл бұрын

  • I much prefer these long format videos, rather than the cut up 4 min ones

    @xp3ll3d@xp3ll3d7 жыл бұрын

  • I love Stephen Colbert :)

    @tonyagordon6998@tonyagordon69987 жыл бұрын

  • "Dictator-tot", love it

    @joenoonan9406@joenoonan94067 жыл бұрын

  • I'm pretty sure if you look up the word "savage" in the dictionary you'll find a picture of Stephen beside it !

    @jflores0708@jflores07087 жыл бұрын

    • allstarplayer0181 It would be a picture of Trump.

      @jurisjansons2962@jurisjansons29627 жыл бұрын

    • Juris Jansons - nah. Trump's picture is next to the word Doofus.

      @judioregan4210@judioregan42107 жыл бұрын

  • I'm reminded of Colbert's SuperPAC and him playing the "I don't have to tell you anything" game. Which illustrated the point he was making about their nature and how they work, of course.

    @NINacide@NINacide7 жыл бұрын

  • "'Trump is more impulsive and unpredictable than Kim Jong Un.' Well then Russia, you should have thought of that before you elected him!" LOL!

    @ChrisBrengel@ChrisBrengel7 жыл бұрын

  • Thanks for the laughs! you are amazing!

    @musicadeamor@musicadeamor7 жыл бұрын

  • Trump must be so happy (inside) he got to be on his favorite show Fox & Friends !!! ;D

    @channelforpositivitylunder9385@channelforpositivitylunder93857 жыл бұрын

    • aw, how cute, he found his safe place. what a fucking coward.

      @alicesrabbit7126@alicesrabbit71267 жыл бұрын

    • CEOofFRESH1 ... russia bombed the innocent civilians out if Syria Moron,as a way to destabilize the EU with all those refugees. And now they own your ass since you helped vote for their man.

      @firstwave1890@firstwave18907 жыл бұрын

    • CEOofFRESH1 Literally no liberal I know thinks it happened out of nowhere. The fuck are you smoking?

      @jodomo4279@jodomo42797 жыл бұрын

    • CEOofFRESH1 Who are we talking about? Obama? The MSM didn't rip him apart because nobody wanted to invade another country at the time. Least of all the conservative media who shat on Obama for "warmongering" when he made his red line comment. I mean it happened a few years ago. Surely anybody could remember how anti-war the US was back then?

      @jodomo4279@jodomo42797 жыл бұрын

    • wow really? the middle east only started going to shreds in the last 8 years?! how convenient for the right wing shitheads!

      @cj7812@cj78127 жыл бұрын

  • Colbert: "That's guy's in charge of the U S A." Me: "Ha! I feel bad for whatever city he suckered into cheering for him at that rally." Colbert: "Now that was in Louisville, last year" Me: "Ah god damn it! Louisville, my home town! You're supposed to be the good part of Ky!"

    @wolv0223@wolv02237 жыл бұрын

  • can we start a petition to counter the UK's that petitions to ban him from coming back into the country after visiting the UK?

    @global.american@global.american7 жыл бұрын

    • Jenna M NO NO NO. If he comes, it'll be a working visit. No Queen, no address to Parliament and no gold carriage. This much is decided. Also, I hope, nobody in the streets. And we don't want him. Don't care where he goes afterwards, but he's not staying here a minute longer than planned. Sorry

      @margueritejohnson6407@margueritejohnson64076 жыл бұрын

    • Well you know accidents do happen .. However I'd much rather see him squirming under the hot lights being impeached and see the rest of his phoney christian clowns get the boot .

      @royalspin@royalspin6 жыл бұрын

  • You know how we joked about Trump becoming president? Then it happened? Then we joked about how it would bring about World War 3? Well, hahahahaha, haha, *cries tears of panic and turns shed into nuclear shelter* it's happening. I live in Jolly Old England and we've got a prison cell in Azkaban with Trump's name on it if he EVER tries to invade Narnia. Just saying.

    @rumaysahshafi9949@rumaysahshafi99497 жыл бұрын

    • Rumaysah Shafi 😂😂😁😀😅😅😅🤔😐😓😭😭🌎🔫💀

      @RaseckoII@RaseckoII7 жыл бұрын

    • Rumaysah Shafi the Dementers kiss would not be effective... trump has no soul

      @jdevaughn42@jdevaughn427 жыл бұрын

  • I fucking love colbert.

    @nemmy7007@nemmy70077 жыл бұрын

  • My dear friend passed away on March 31st......I am beginning to envy him. God may have spared him from having to live thru a nuclear showdown with N. Korea. I hope He remembers the rest of us!

    @talitakoomi@talitakoomi7 жыл бұрын

    • talitakoomi - my condolences for your loss, but I hope it doesn't come to that.

      @judioregan4210@judioregan42107 жыл бұрын

  • Stephen Colbert, I love you. I love you so much, it hurts.

    @clovergreens6858@clovergreens68587 жыл бұрын
KZhead